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IS ABDL changing? Help online issues?

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So I have recently been using the app telegram in it I join groups like babyfur groups and such. When I would go to ask questions about messy diapers people will say stuff like "people don't like that please don't talk about that." Not sure if this is just a telegram issue or a furry issue or what. Now the chat rooms have a bunch of people in them and some are minors in the chat rooms. I try and stay away from talking with minors to the best of my ability. When I say I am only interested in diapers and I ignore things like pacifiers and baby bottles and expect the people that don't like messy diapers to ignore my comments they tell me I am in the wrong. Just wondering your thoughts? Also has anyone ran into similar issues? I am not an AB I am a DL or as I prefer to be called a diaperfur. The reason I join babyfur groups is cause there are more people i the chat rooms.

Hopefully this makes sense. I am dealing with stuff at the moment.

Thanks

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Some things you might ask yourself:

What benefit do you gain from talking about scat (messy diapers)?

Is that benefit worth potentially ostracizing yourself from people who don't want to hear about scat?

You joined a babyfur chatroom because "there are more people in the chat rooms" - you need to respect the fact that babyfurs are into different things than diaperfurs.  Trying to impose what you're into on them when they're not is not going to be received well.  Complaining about them being into things you're not is doubly foolish, because YOU CAME INTO THEIR SPACE.  And I'm sorry, but "When I say I am only interested in diapers and I ignore things like pacifiers and baby bottles" is literally going to be received as a complaint. 

If you want to communicate with people who are not into the same things as you in their space, you need to meet them where they are.  

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basically you're in the wrong spot when you comment or post, you want to find others like you. here on DD theres a "stinky squishy and proud" section (which i personally avoid as im not into that) specifically for people with that interest.

ok in going to be a little mean here, just as a teaching lesson.

a bronie wouldnt go onto a farmer/equestarian website and start spewing my little pony opinions, ideas, and everything they love about MLP. although both of them are indeed into horses, they just have very different tastes and interests and both are likely to be offset by eachothers presence.

now then. you went to a babyfur group, and tried to get them to talk about "scat" or "messing" some babyfurs may be interested in messing, sure, some may even associate babyfur with ABDL, however theyre 2 different titles for a reason. babyfurs are more interested in soft, plush, animals, innocence, regression, and other things, than they are into scat, diapers, or messing.

you need to use appropriate tags and groupings to find other people with your same interests.

its just unfortunate that ABDL is already niche enough as it is. we all just have to live with it and not push ourselves onto others, and THATS being a normal human being, not exepmplary, or negative.

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2 hours ago, WBDaddy said:

Some things you might ask yourself:

What benefit do you gain from talking about scat (messy diapers)?

Is that benefit worth potentially ostracizing yourself from people who don't want to hear about scat?

You joined a babyfur chatroom because "there are more people in the chat rooms" - you need to respect the fact that babyfurs are into different things than diaperfurs.  Trying to impose what you're into on them when they're not is not going to be received well.  Complaining about them being into things you're not is doubly foolish, because YOU CAME INTO THEIR SPACE.  And I'm sorry, but "When I say I am only interested in diapers and I ignore things like pacifiers and baby bottles" is literally going to be received as a complaint. 

If you want to communicate with people who are not into the same things as you in their space, you need to meet them where they are.  

I dont know if messy diapers count as scat. They dont at least in my mind. But I like talking about them. Is there a benefit to talking about pacifiers?

I am a lion I dont want to turn myself into an ostrich. But in all seriousness I rarely care what other people think of me. I am very unlikely to ever meet anyone I talk to online.

I never thought there was that much of a split. We all wear diapers. We all pee and poop. Maybe not in diapers but it still is a thing everyone does. So how come we cant talk about it? 

But I think I am finally understanding stuff.

1 hour ago, KyleABDL said:

basically you're in the wrong spot when you comment or post, you want to find others like you. here on DD theres a "stinky squishy and proud" section (which i personally avoid as im not into that) specifically for people with that interest.

ok in going to be a little mean here, just as a teaching lesson.

a bronie wouldnt go onto a farmer/equestarian website and start spewing my little pony opinions, ideas, and everything they love about MLP. although both of them are indeed into horses, they just have very different tastes and interests and both are likely to be offset by eachothers presence.

now then. you went to a babyfur group, and tried to get them to talk about "scat" or "messing" some babyfurs may be interested in messing, sure, some may even associate babyfur with ABDL, however theyre 2 different titles for a reason. babyfurs are more interested in soft, plush, animals, innocence, regression, and other things, than they are into scat, diapers, or messing.

you need to use appropriate tags and groupings to find other people with your same interests.

its just unfortunate that ABDL is already niche enough as it is. we all just have to live with it and not push ourselves onto others, and THATS being a normal human being, not exepmplary, or negative.

I understand what you are getting at with the mlp thing. But I just have to say one time I went to a police officer forum and along with asking questions about police stuff I also asked in the off topic section about mlp. So I would talk about mlp in the off topic section.

So pretty much you guys are saying stick to only the diaperfur stuff and I am a rarity in that I can look past allot. OK

 

Maybe I am looking at the past with rose colored glasses but stuff seemed different even back in 2011.

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From reading your posts I get the feeling you are acting like a HNG (Horny Net Guy). That isn't a good thing.

You appear to be going into chat rooms to talk about your messy diapers or whatever without knowing anyone in there or what the atmosphere is like. No one likes it when you are talking in a chat room and some random person comes in with the sole intention of using the other people there to get themselves excited sexually or whatever.

Imagine you are at a party with a bunch of people. There's a lot of conversation going on and people are generally socialising when someone suddenly walks in the door and loudly announces that they are horny or that they just pooped themselves or whatever else. It's unpleasant to say the least. There is a time and a place for these sorts of conversations (usually PMs) and it can come up in chat rooms naturally sometimes.

There's nothing wrong with liking diapers but not other baby things but if the chat room is more suited to AB stuff then you can't complain at them when they want to talk about it!

Have things changed? I don't think so. I've been a regular in the chat room here as well as Kik, Discord and other groups since before 2011 and I remember HNGs getting the same treatment back then as well.

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1 hour ago, Elfy said:

From reading your posts I get the feeling you are acting like a HNG (Horny Net Guy). That isn't a good thing.

You appear to be going into chat rooms to talk about your messy diapers or whatever without knowing anyone in there or what the atmosphere is like. No one likes it when you are talking in a chat room and some random person comes in with the sole intention of using the other people there to get themselves excited sexually or whatever.

Imagine you are at a party with a bunch of people. There's a lot of conversation going on and people are generally socialising when someone suddenly walks in the door and loudly announces that they are horny or that they just pooped themselves or whatever else. It's unpleasant to say the least. There is a time and a place for these sorts of conversations (usually PMs) and it can come up in chat rooms naturally sometimes.

There's nothing wrong with liking diapers but not other baby things but if the chat room is more suited to AB stuff then you can't complain at them when they want to talk about it!

Have things changed? I don't think so. I've been a regular in the chat room here as well as Kik, Discord and other groups since before 2011 and I remember HNGs getting the same treatment back then as well.

Mods I am going to be referencing some sexual stuff if this is inappropriate please feel free to edit the inappropriate stuff out.

I am not a "horny net guy." I never do anything like that. It wasnt untill when I was 22 that I even started touching myself. I dont come to groups to talk about me being messy I want to hear other peoples stories with being messy. If I am at a party and everyone is wearing diapers then being messy would be normal.

You meen dont talk about it? I am fine with people talking about AB stuff. I dont complain when that happens. I only ever complained when I was told I could not talk about poop.

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What I think they’re trying to say is you need to read and get a feel for the room before you contribute. Like others have said, just because it might seem related, doesn’t mean it actually is, or at least to the extent you may think it is. Your best bet from this point forward would be to try and pick up on how the others you’re chatting with are and go from there.

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I'm open for a lot of stuff, but I draw the line with messy diapers and scroll fast over such pictures and even refuse to read stories where it is mentioned

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You want to talk about Topic X (poop), but go into a chat room about Topic Y(babyfur stuff)

Then get upset and complain when people don't like it.

You're pushing your interest (messy diapers) onto a group of people who don't wish to hear about it. They want to talk about other things (pacifiers, baby bottles, etc) They have vocalized their wishes. You should respect that. 

Just because there are more people in a chat room, does not mean all of those people want to talk about what you want them to talk about.  They've voiced their opinion- that they don't even want to hear about it.  Since messy diapers are not the topic of the room, that opinion should be respected.  Not every AB is into messing diapers. 

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So since 6 people have essentially told me the same thing. How about we stop telling me this and mods feel free to lock this topic. I get it.

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I say be mindful of other people's feelings all the time.  I know in the chat room here you can always privet chat with other people with their permission.  No need to chat in a main chat room about something a lot of the others do not appreciate.  If there are a lot of people in the main chat room who don't like a topic you want to discuss, then I say sit back, wait to see if someone new comes in who likes your subject and then chat in privet, but don't force your conversation on everyone else if they don't like it.  Yes, members here do give their advise and opinions and not everyone likes what they hear about themselves from others.  Keep in mind if 10 people all say the same thing, maybe there is something to their opinions after all.  Their reputation rating is also something to gauge people by as well.

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10 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I say be mindful of other people's feelings all the time.  I know in the chat room here you can always privet chat with other people with their permission.  No need to chat in a main chat room about something a lot of the others do not appreciate.  If there are a lot of people in the main chat room who don't like a topic you want to discuss, then I say sit back, wait to see if someone new comes in who likes your subject and then chat in privet, but don't force your conversation on everyone else if they don't like it.  Yes, members here do give their advise and opinions and not everyone likes what they hear about themselves from others.  Keep in mind if 10 people all say the same thing, maybe there is something to their opinions after all.  Their reputation rating is also something to gauge people by as well.

Why would I need to ask in order to pm?

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34 minutes ago, mewtwo said:

Why would I need to ask in order to pm?

because its literally a rule. did you read the forum rules before posting at all?

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8 hours ago, KyleABDL said:

because its literally a rule. did you read the forum rules before posting at all?

And it's polite, and respectful to the lady members here,,,

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10 hours ago, KyleABDL said:

because its literally a rule. did you read the forum rules before posting at all?

Yes and I am fine asking if it is a rule but I have been in other chat rooms where that is not required. they all have different rules so it gets confusing.

2 hours ago, Pete671 said:

And it's polite, and respectful to the lady members here,,,

I dont see what women in particular have anything to do with asking before pming?

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13 hours ago, mewtwo said:

Why would I need to ask in order to pm?

 

13 hours ago, KyleABDL said:

because its literally a rule. did you read the forum rules before posting at all?

You have been a member here since 2007 and you have never seen the chat room rule that you need to ask first before privet chatting with someone?  Maybe on other sites you don't have to, but here you do.  Not following site rules has gotten many people banned.

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6 hours ago, rusty pins said:

 

You have been a member here since 2007 and you have never seen the chat room rule that you need to ask first before privet chatting with someone?  Maybe on other sites you don't have to, but here you do.  Not following site rules has gotten many people banned.

You have been a member since 2005 and somehow missed my post above yours that says Yes I am fine if it is a rule. So yes I knew it was a rule. In other chat rooms it is not a rule and I have been told it is "creepy" to ask to pm.

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No offence and yes, I sometimes do get creepy requests from members who want me to roll play with them, people who haven't even taken the time to read my profile.  At least when they ask permission first, I can tell them no.  It's bad when they just PM me and won't take no for an answer and keep pestering me.  That's where the chat rules are great.  If they don't ask first or they PM after you say no, you can take a screen shot of the chats for proof and send them to an admin.  Some people may think it's creepy for someone to ask to PM first, but I think it's much worse to get a creepy PM from someone who hasn't asked.

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