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Worrying About Accidents


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Does worrying, or being paranoid, about having an accident in public indicate some level of incontinence?

To be clear, I don’t consider myself to be incontinent. I have generally good control, though I do get more frequent and urgent needs to go then most men my age. I dribble urine a lot, especially after voiding, but it’s not a significant amount - I should probably be wearing pads tbh. I also tend to leak small amounts when I get a really intense urge to go. However, in the past week, I’ve had 2 incidents where I was worried I would have a full blown accident in very public settings when I experienced an intense urge to go. It felt like my bladder could release at any moment.

During the first incident, I was on a plane. It was a short hour long flight, and I had 2 coffees before it, but peed once before the flight. About a 1/2 hour into it, I got the urge to go, and it went from 0 to 100 really quick lol. I couldn’t get up because the flight was very turbulent (not helping) at the time and the seat belt sign was on. Not to mention I was in the window seat and I was honestly worried that if I could stand, I might leak in front of one of the passengers next to me after standing up. Luckily I managed to hold it, with the exception of some dribbles, until the flight landed.

The second incident was today in class. I had 1 large glass of water, peed before class, and was about 1/2 way through large cup of coffee when I got an intense urge in the middle of class. Again, it felt like my bladder could burst at any moment. I dribbled, but made it to the bathroom after class.

TL;DR - I have strong and more frequent urges than others my age, but have a great deal of control despite small leaks. Urges are feeling stronger lately, and I’ve had 2 experiences in the past week where I was genuinely worried I might have an accident in public. Does this indicate some level of incontinence? 

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Unfortunately incontinence issues can happen at any age, my incontinence issues started with post void dribbles or mini surges but quickly moved to full floods where ai did nit make it to the bathroom intime.  I recommend you make a doctors appointment to get checked out, if you are worried that you will not make it to the washroom intime you should get your self some diapers to handle the dribbles and full flood if you fail to make the bathroom intime.  its better to change out of a dry diaper and have then feeling of knowing you are protected from an accident then have to deal with wet pants if you fail to make the bathroom intime or your mini post dribbles (surges) become worse. 

 

 Hopefully your issue is a simple slight infection thst can be cleaned up with some penicillin, but if you find your self joing our ranks of needing diapers to manage incontinence issues you will find a lot off support from the members here. Remember you are not alone in having to deal with baldder issues there are millions of us out there that deal with incontinence issues on a dail basis and with the proper level of protection (premium taped diapers) incontinence is for the most part easy to manage and live with. 

 

 

 

 

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You’re right, it might be time to see a doctor about it, especially if others have had similar experiences before becoming fully incontinent. I’m going to start wearing some pull ups in public just in case and to handle my dribbles.

i should note that I am a DL, and I’ve been wearing diapers at home a lot more frequently lately. It’s sorta a blessing and a curse wearing them. On the one hand, they help me stay relaxed and not worry so much about the urgency issues, I just let go whenever the urge strikes, which is often just for small spurts of pee. On the other hand I think it’s probably making my urgency issues worse when not diapered. I’ve always fantasized about losing control and needing diapers 24/7, so part of me wonders how much of these two incidents are purely psychological. They were very intense urges like I’ve never quite experienced before, and I did feel my dribbles could turn to gushes at any moment, but I was still able to hold it in until I could make it to the bathroom after all.

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I have had similar issues to Jaytay when traveling and away with work.  I found out that I had a UTI after that situation, but  only after wetting my pants in an airplane and again in the terminal trying to get to a bathroom in time.  I have also been told I have some OAB issues and urge tendencies.  

After going to the doc and getting this resolved over time, I made up my mind that wearing protection when traveling was the best travel insurance I can get.  

Now whenever I am away from home or home surroundings, I am padded as better safe than sorry. 

I will never forget walking through the terminal with my brief case in front of me but obvious wet pants in the back and even down one leg.  Some may like this type of humiliation, but for me am just glad I never ran into someone I knew on that occasion.

Some have said that wearing a diaper or pull up through airport security is asking for trouble, but I have never been challenged about that but guessing an older guy being identified with that type of protection is quite common these days?

 

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2 hours ago, deewet said:

I have had similar issues to Jaytay when traveling and away with work.  I found out that I had a UTI after that situation, but  only after wetting my pants in an airplane and again in the terminal trying to get to a bathroom in time.  I have also been told I have some OAB issues and urge tendencies.  

After going to the doc and getting this resolved over time, I made up my mind that wearing protection when traveling was the best travel insurance I can get.  

Now whenever I am away from home or home surroundings, I am padded as better safe than sorry. 

I will never forget walking through the terminal with my brief case in front of me but obvious wet pants in the back and even down one leg.  Some may like this type of humiliation, but for me am just glad I never ran into someone I knew on that occasion.

Some have said that wearing a diaper or pull up through airport security is asking for trouble, but I have never been challenged about that but guessing an older guy being identified with that type of protection is quite common these days?

 

No one has ever challenged me at the airport either

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13 hours ago, deewet said:

I have had similar issues to Jaytay when traveling and away with work.  I found out that I had a UTI after that situation, but  only after wetting my pants in an airplane and again in the terminal trying to get to a bathroom in time.  I have also been told I have some OAB issues and urge tendencies.  

After going to the doc and getting this resolved over time, I made up my mind that wearing protection when traveling was the best travel insurance I can get.  

Now whenever I am away from home or home surroundings, I am padded as better safe than sorry. 

I will never forget walking through the terminal with my brief case in front of me but obvious wet pants in the back and even down one leg.  Some may like this type of humiliation, but for me am just glad I never ran into someone I knew on that occasion.

Some have said that wearing a diaper or pull up through airport security is asking for trouble, but I have never been challenged about that but guessing an older guy being identified with that type of protection is quite common these days?

 

Sorry to hear this happened to you, I would die of embarrassment! I kept thinking about something like this happening when I was on the flight.

just curious, at what age did everyone start having these urgency issues/accidents? I am close to, but not yet 30 years old. Is this young to be having these issues?

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As i said    prior to me  having too   me having to go 24 /7 my Urge IC  actually started  say 5 years prior to that   so in my case  with Urge IC  desiding to  come back thats  37   .HOWEVER    IC   actually dont have  specific age im afraid   my friend   all ages  can get it  im afraid

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When my incontinence first became a problem I was determined to stay dry and tried everything but wet patches just happened. My wife who is very pragmatic and straight to the point told me to wear nappies and get on with my life. That was seven years ago and now nappies are just a way of life.

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I have been treated for prostrate issues since finding my mid 50's, so for almost 15 years now.  One of the reasons this became an issue is the start of dribbles before and after voiding, and occasional a very strong urge to get to bathroom immediately, even without a full bladder.

While treatment has been largely successful in reducing the size of prostrate, it has also lead to other issues (another topic as to what happens with greatly reduced T levels)  and has never resolved the initial symptoms completely, so I have to be careful to avoid situations where they can become a problem for me again.

I suppose some of it is due to my age, but in any case something many have to deal with as I do and will continue to do as I have accepted what may be inevitable.

 

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I have found sometimes when I've been wearing nappies a lot then I get increased urgency when I'm not wearing one.

I've put it partly down to the fact that when you're in a nappy, whether you're holding it for a big flood or just wetting little and often, the time between deciding to relieve yourself and actually doing so is only a matter of seconds. Maybe make sure you're positioned right to not leak, but otherwise, you just do it. Whereas when you're out of nappies, you make the decision to go and then have to actually walk to the toilet... but you've got used to said instantaneous relief. Cue bladder to brain, "you said I could go, I want to go now!" Resulting in urgency or, potentially in some cases, an accident.

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My bladder issues are nerve-related and life-long, mostly exhibited as spasms and urge incontinence with OAB. But in mid-life I was able to avoid accidents except when I fell asleep drunk. In my mid 40's my control abilities began slipping away and I started wearing pads. By my late 40's they weren't enough and I started wearing diapers. I've always had some DL tendencies but had never really explored them so both kind of came along together. Knowing what my issues were I didn't feel a need to see a Doctor over this directly, but I have done huge research online and I've actually deeply interacted with 2 Doctors online over this, so other than a physical examination in-person there's nothing more to be done for me. I guess I should note here that I have no fears of prostate cancer etc or of death in general, so I feel I've done enough already and I won't be going to a Doctor over this alone, but I do highly recommend that for you and anyone else who might see life and death differently than I do. Especially for males, there's a chance that your bladder control issues emanate from something which could be life-threatening and you need to address such as that early when there's a far better chance of successful treatment.

Chances are that the Doctors can do little or nothing for your leakage directly, but some treatments do help some people. If that's your lot in life then accept it, do what you have to do, and get on with life. Being DL can make that easier to deal with, but in the actual needing you can expect some of the excitement to wear off- maybe all of it. So maybe just take the path I did and try to enjoy what you can of wearing and not spend so much time focused on the need, since you can't change that part anyway once it happens. Wearing diapers beats the heck out of having visible accidents and/or worrying about them.

Bettypooh

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13 hours ago, nappylover78 said:

I have found sometimes when I've been wearing nappies a lot then I get increased urgency when I'm not wearing one.

I've put it partly down to the fact that when you're in a nappy, whether you're holding it for a big flood or just wetting little and often, the time between deciding to relieve yourself and actually doing so is only a matter of seconds. Maybe make sure you're positioned right to not leak, but otherwise, you just do it. Whereas when you're out of nappies, you make the decision to go and then have to actually walk to the toilet... but you've got used to said instantaneous relief. Cue bladder to brain, "you said I could go, I want to go now!" Resulting in urgency or, potentially in some cases, an accident.

This is a great point. I’ve also thought along these lines too in terms of why my urgency has increased as I’ve worn more and more often.

One thing I also realized about these two incidents was that I felt “trapped” and that it wasn’t easy to get to the bathroom at the time. When I was on the flight, the seat belt sign was on, so I couldn’t go to the bathroom, and when I was in class, I was sitting in the middle of lecture hall/theatre style seats, so it would have been a huge inconvenience for me and the other seated in that row for me to have get up and exit. I think psychologically, being used to wearing and going right away, made the urgency that much worse because I knew I couldn’t go to the bathroom right away. When I’m not padded, but I know I can make it to the bathroom right away if I need to, the urgency doesn’t feel so strong that I might have an accident. Nevertheless, in any case, I still get more frequent urges that are stronger than they used to be.

10 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

So maybe just take the path I did and try to enjoy what you can of wearing and not spend so much time focused on the need, since you can't change that part anyway once it happens. Wearing diapers beats the heck out of having visible accidents and/or worrying about them.

 

This is great advice! If I ever end up really needing them to the point where I’d have full bladder leaks if I wasn’t wearing, I’m sure that my attitude towards needing to wear would change significantly. Right now, I still love wearing and using diapers whenever I can, which for me has meant daily/nightly for some time now. I still hesitate to wear full protection in public, but I’m accepting that I might need to start wearing pull ups everyday in public to at least mitigate the worry of having a large accident.

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jaytay,

similar to most advice here, see your doctor.

Your described symptoms can be anything from enlarged prostate to degenerative nerve / muscle disorder. Without a few tests, nobody here can really be certain what is causing your issues....

See a doctor and if that doctor can't give you answers / gives you generic "it is an age thing" /  "could be stress / circumstance / diet " see another. There IS a medical reason for your symptoms ... and it is not that you are AB. It takes time for one to convince ones mind to wet oneself as a baby. On of the main triggers used to toilet train you was the fear and discomfort of wet pants. That is strong in your mind. You said that you post dribble. That is your bladder not fully emptying. Even in playtime diapers 'AB' mode, ABs do not partially empty their bladders / post micturition bladder volume. They do not have that level of control. I personally suspect that your interior bladder wall may have some damage from UTI / calcium deposits... which is common in kidney stones etc. See your doctor before this behaviour becomes permenant.

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