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Done Adulting, Volume 1 (Now available on Amazon with a preview of Volume 2)


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Very cute chapters. Nice visit so far and I actually like how Jamie has gotten a bit defensive towards Cheryl about his life and I wonder how that plays out later. Or if Amanda notices it as well. Looking forward to more!

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That was so great I can’t begin to tell you how awesome this chapter was. I loved how Cheryl immediately came to the defense of Jamie concerning the diapers. Ay the same time she was also accepting of him being diapered. Then she even allowed herself to be regressed just a bit. Cheryl still isn’t aware of the full extent of the babying that Jamie is being given but I feel like she would approve of it when she knows that he is good with it. What was this, three new chapters in a day? You continue to impress me with the quality and speed in which you are putting this out. Very happy to give this a like. 

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I Love this story. 

I sat most of the weekend reading it. Had me glued. 

I must say there is a certain part of me that would love to be able to go to that dimension and be taken care of by Becky and Amanda. Especially when life gets hard. 

Keep writing. again I love it. 

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Chapter 62

 

When Becky went in a little while later to check on them, she found Cheryl sitting up and stroking Jamie’s hair. Even knowing she shouldn’t be this close to a client, she felt her heart melt a little. Cheryl looked up and smiled at her.

“Isn’t my baby bear handsome,” Becky whispered.

“Very,” Cheryl answered, admiring him. She considered that one day she might go to Itali just for the medical care, wondering what it felt like to have half a lifetime’s aches, pains, and wrinkles taken away.

“Ya wanna get up?”

“Yeah.” Becky carefully lifted her out trying not to wake Jamie.

“Can the two of us talk somewhere,” Cheryl asked. Becky led her to the living room and helped her onto the couch. As much as Cheryl wanted to confront her about the diapers, she knew it wouldn’t be right. Whatever Becky had thought or was still thinking, if Jamie was okay with things now, then she had no right to raise the issue and potentially upset the equilibrium of their relationship. Instead, she asked, “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“He’s happy. When I met him ... honestly, I’ve never met someone with so much self-loathing.”

“Neither had I.”

“So what changed? How did he get like this?”

“Love.”

“That sounds, sorry, overly simplistic.”

“Well, it is. It wasn’t just that. He’s been going to therapy twice a week. Amanda and I have been doing what the therapist said, praising him for every nice thing he does. Encouraging him ... believe me, it wasn’t easy.”

“He told me he had some anger issues.”

“More like anger-control issues. And trust issues. And melancholy issues.”

“How’d you get through it?”

“Me? I didn’t give up, even when I got it wrong. Mostly, though, we just wouldn’t let him say no.”

“‘No’ to what?”

“‘No’ to letting us help him. That was his instinct, to do everything alone, have every bad feeling alone. I don’t know what he thought being adopted meant. Just moving in with us?”

“I’m not sure he ever understood what he wanted it to mean.”

“Amanda said something like that a long time ago. Or it seems like a long time ago.”

“He’s crazy about her.”

“And it really drove me nuts at first,” Becky chuckled. “I was so jealous. Happy for them, but, ya know.”

“I understand.”

“But really, what the therapist said was we needed to show him he was lovable so that he would understand he was lovable. You can’t be lovable and loath yourself at the same time, I suppose.”

“He really is, lovable, isn’t he,” Amanda said, beaming. 

“I don’t fully understand how he couldn’t figure that out on his own.”

“You know how he grew up?”

“He explained it.”

“Well, I don’t know if anyone ever told him they loved him. Or made him feel that way.”

“You did.”

“I couldn’t have done this, not in our world.”

“Well, you are responsible for this.”

“He’s the one who made the decision. Take away all the negative things in his life, come here; he figured that part out.”

“And you’re the one who put him with us. So I guess we all deserve some credit.”

“I want to thank you, for helping him get so far. That’s why I put him with you. I thought if any of the people who were interested in him could, it would be you and Amanda. So thank you.”

“How many people wanted him?”

“Just two others.”

“Really? Why?”

“It’s hard to place humans with special needs, especially emotional ones.”

“That’s sad ... probably didn’t help that he didn’t want to be regressed.”

“I’ve only had one other client who didn’t want to be, and she backed out.”

“Most people want a regressed little, I found out.”

“How?”

“Prejudiced people let me know.”

“Does Jamie know?”

“If he does, I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to know that particular prejudice exists in the world.” Becky suddenly felt uncomfortable, needing to defend herself. “He’s not regressed now.”

“I know. I didn’t think he was.”

“He’s not. His mind is perfectly intact.”

“I know.”

“Good ... he just behaves younger sometimes.”

“I’m okay with it.”

“Really?”

“I know the difference. Regression isn’t how you behave. It’s how the mind works, and his works the same as it always did. You didn’t ‘regress’ him; you’re just taking care of him, and he’s letting you and loving it. Trust me, If I didn’t think having the emotional support people give a little was going to be helpful, I wouldn’t have sent him here.”

“He can be very little sometimes now.”

“I figured ... I know Jamie. If he didn’t want to, he wouldn’t ... and even that pacifier in his crib, it’s just a thing. Not going to begrudge him a comfort object. Or comforting anything.”

“I was afraid you’d think we did something to make him that way.”

“You did do something, though. You made him feel safe enough to do all that, to be this way. That’s what you were supposed to do. He trusts you ... everyone would be happier if they could crawl into someone else’s arms any time they needed to, or just wanted to ... even bigs.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Becky relieved Cheryl didn’t think they’d done anything they shouldn’t have to make Jamie the cuddly baby bear he was now.

“We’re not done,” Becky said.

“With what?”

“Jamie. He’s still got some work to do.”

“I know.” Cheryl was feeling a lot better about Becky. She was glad they’d had this talk. Her initial instincts all those months ago were right, albeit not perfect.

“What are you guys talking about,” Amanda asked as she carried Jamie into the room. His shirt had ridden up and his bottoms had ridden down, and Cheryl got a good look at the cartoons on the seat of his diaper. He really did look cute, even cuter in his sister’s arms. Amanda sat down in the chair, and Jamie sat between her legs, leaning back against her. 

“Just shooting the breeze,” Becky replied, “Did my baby bear get enough rest?”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mom.”

Whatever the details, this is what Cheryl had wanted for him, what she had told him in her farewell letter: with love by his side all day and long night. That’s what Jamie had now.

______________________________________________

 

On the last day of her visit, it was Amanda that Cheryl got some alone time with while Jamie napped.

“Can I try something, Manda?”

“Uh, sure. What is it?” Cheryl blushed and held her arms up. Amanda smiled wide and scooped up Cheryl into an enthusiastic embrace. Cheryl wrapped her legs around Amanda and put her head on her chest. “Have you been wanting to do that all week?”

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years. It always looks so good,” Cheryl answered with her cheek against Amanda.

“Live up to expectations?”

“Even better.”

“Aww. You sweet little girl.” Amanda sat down on the couch and rubbed Cheryl’s back. Cheryl felt softer than Jamie, smaller.

“I want to thank you,” Cheryl said.

“For the hug? You’re very welcome.”

“No. For Jamie. For everything you’ve done for him.”

“It makes me very happy to do all of it.”

“I think you saved him.”

“Everybody says that. I think he should get all the credit.”

“No. He gets some, but you saved him. I need you to know that.” Amanda felt herself tear up a bit.

“Well, thank you for bringing him to me,” Amanda said softly. “He ...” She choked on a sob. “I ...”

“It’s okay, Manda,” Cheryl whispered.

“I’m a better person because of him,” he said, trying to get her diaphragm to stop cramping.

“You were always an amazing person. That’s why I gave you to him. He just helped you realize it ... I told him as much, in my first letter to him.”

“I can’t believe how much I love him. I didn’t think I could ever love someone this much.”

“It’s not just him that makes you feel that way. It’s you, too. It’s inside you. It always has been.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Jamie does. He told me.”

“He’s gonna miss you so much.” 

“I’m gonna miss him.”

“Why not stay? Transfer to the agency office here. Or just come live with us.”

“I can’t. I have people in my life I don’t want to leave.”

“You’ll be happier here.”

“I’m happy already. My place is back home. That’s the right place for me.”

“But you don’t want to leave Jamie.”

“He has the two of you. I can leave, knowing he has you.”

“Maybe you’ll change your mind someday.”

“I don’t think so. But anything is possible.”

Amanda loosened her grip, and Cheryl leaned back so she could see Amanda’s face. She watched her wipe a trail of tears from her face. Looking at her, Cheryl was reminded of something it was easy to forget around bigs. Amanda was still a kid.

______________________________________________

 

“My ride will be here soon,” Cheryl said to Jamie. They were sitting on the floor, absentmindedly playing with the marble blocks he’d gotten for Christmas.

“I know,” Jamie said quietly. “Thanks for keeping your promise.”

“I’ve broken plenty of promises. That’s not why I came.”

“I know.”

“This isn’t goodbye, Jamie.”

“When will I see you again?” Cheryl closed her eyes. This was just as hard for her. “One day I’ll be back. Do you believe me?”

“Always ... I could go back some day. Nine more years isn’t that long.”

Cheryl bit her lip. “Don’t think like that.” Cheryl didn’t believe she was worth giving up all this for; she wouldn’t have it. “You’re never going back. This is the right place for you.”

Jamie’s lungs sucked in air, and he tried to hold it, swallowing it back down until he could control it. “… I know.”

“We’ll write. We’ll still be a part of each other’s lives.”

“This is so hard.”

“It was last time, too … But this is better. We didn’t know then. We didn’t know things would work out like they have ... I’m so happy for you, Jamie. I never ...” She fought back her own emotions. Neither wanted to part with tears. “This is all more than I could have ever hoped for you.”

“… I wish we’d see each other more.”

“I have the portrait you drew me. It’s beautiful, Jamie.”

“And I have your photos.”

“And we can send more. I’ll tell your mom to send me pictures of you.”

“She’d like that. She likes showing me off.”

“She’s so proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”

“ … Promise me you’ll find someone. Don’t be lonely … It’s so hard being lonely.”

“I promise.”

“I love you. I should have said it then.”

“I love you, Jamie. No regrets.” 

A horn honked outside. They froze, everything still, as though awaiting the toll of a bell.

Jamie stood up first, holding out his hand for Cheryl. She took it, and he pulled her up. He walked her to the living room, where she said her thanks and goodbyes to Becky and Amanda. They thanked her again. Hugs were exchanged. Promises to send pictures. Jamie walked her to the door alone and helped her into her coat. He took her in his arms.

“It’s not goodbye, Jamie. It’s only goodnight.”

They kissed one another as they hadn’t kissed since the night they spent together, the headlights refracting through the cut glass window of the door. They parted, and he held her face in his palms.

“No tears this time,” he whispered.

“We’ll write soon.”

“We will. I promise.”

“I believe you.” 

She shut her eyes again. In that darkness, she imagined she could open her eyes and see Tish holding the syringe and Jamie closing the folder that held the final consent form, him shaking his head and saying he wanted to stay with her, that it had all been a terrible, wonderful dream, and she would cast aside her better angels and take him home, make a life together with him, and that her love would be enough to block out all the brokenness of the world that had broken Jamie, and he’d be happy and so would she. But she knew that was only a comforting fantasy, that it would never have come to pass that way, and when she opened her eyes, Jamie was still there, still touching her face with his soft hands. 

She took hold of one of those hands and gently pulled it away. He took his other away. She leaned over and picked up the handle of her backpack. Jamie put his hands in his pockets.

“It’s only goodnight, Jamie.”

“Goodnight, Cheryl.”

“Goodnight, Jamie.”

They looked at one another for a moment longer, and Jamie sighed before opening the door for her. She stepped into the winter dark and walked to the car without turning around. When she had gotten in and closed the door, he waited for the car to pull away, and he gently closed the door behind him.

In the living room, Becky was seated on the couch. Amanda watched out the window. Jamie put his arms up even as he walked across the room, and Becky leaned forward and lifted him onto her lap. He pressed his face against her, letting her sweater wick away the tears he didn’t need to hold back anymore.

“I’m okay,” Jamie whimpered.

“I know you are,” Becky replied.

“I’m not sad.”

“I know, baby bear.” She rested one hand on the back of his head while the other patted his back.

He cried himself to sleep like that. Only then did Amanda let a few tears of her own escape.

“I know, baby, I’m sad for him, too,” Becky said.

“Who’s going to comfort her tonight? She’s so small ...”

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Oh no... Amanda has gotten the Big's little syndrome!

Excellent chapter Alex, I love how you make this story so personable. I can picture every chapter mentally and see the characters as the story unfolds

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Awesome chapter. I'm glad that Jamie and Cheryl came to terms with their relationship to each other. After reading this I really want to snuggle with my stuffies, but I'm on vacation right now, so I'll just have to carry on without any snuggling.

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Oh my! This brought tears to my eyes. Especially that very last sentence. I would have really liked it to have Cheryl stay with them. I know that would have caused some problems with Jamie and Ella but it was hard to see those two who have so much love for each other being separated. I can’t wait to see more. 

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5 hours ago, Author_Alex said:

“Who’s going to comfort her tonight? She’s so small ...”

Some of the things Becky says is funny. Especially when she has the "Little Blinders" on. 

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6 hours ago, Author_Alex said:

had ridden up and his bottoms had ridden down, and Cheryl got a good look at the cartoons on the seat of his diaper. He really did look cute

Omg so cute ! I bet she thinking that he using pampers with Elmo in the seat hehehe ! I vote for Jamie to be the new spoken baby for pampers hehehehe 

really loved this chapter 

1 hour ago, DiaperBoy37 said:

Some of the things Becky says is funny. Especially when she has the "Little Blinders" on. 

I think that was Amanda that said that !

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8 minutes ago, Pierry Louys said:

Omg so cute ! I bet she thinking that he using pampers with Elmo in the seat hehehe ! I vote for Jamie to be the new spoken baby for pampers hehehehe 

really loved this chapter 

I think that was Amanda that said that !

I think I see what you mean. I think she was jealous of Becky for holding Jamie as long as she did. 

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4 hours ago, DiaperBoy37 said:

I think I see what you mean. I think she was jealous of Becky for holding Jamie as long as she did. 

I don't think she is jealous over Jamie. I think she really does want Cheryl to have someone to commfort her. She knows how good it can be.

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So Cute!! I wonder what else you have in store but I feel like there is some wrapping up there in your comments about him staying, but it isn’t guaranteed yet but even Jamie seemed to think it a bit. I look forward to more!! 

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The finale is on its way I think. I’m kinda conflicted about it.

I do think this is just the end of Volume 1 of what I think will be 2 or 3 (albeit shorter ones.)

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16 minutes ago, DiaperBoy37 said:

I'm glad to see even after this part of the story is done, you'll continue it later. 

Ditto. Otherwise I'd have a huge hole in my life and heart.

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48 minutes ago, kerry said:

Ditto. Otherwise I'd have a huge hole in my life and heart.

Well that just makes me sad.

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