Question for the mommies out there

[Jbo]

I have a question  all the women who are mommy’s to there husbands/ boyfriends. If you were single again and into being the mommy role would you be looking for the dominant and manly guy or would you be looking for the more submissive guy that you know you could mother? 

I ask this because I would like to make finding a potential girlfriend easier on me, the thought of telling a potential partner about my ab/dL side is very scary for me, due to rejection and or telling the wrong person who would use that to smear me if they were turned off by it.

 

[mamabug]

First, I want to say - that I'm not a mommy because of who I'm dating. I'm a mommy because of - well I'm not exactly sure, a lot of nurture vs. nature type of thing. It's been something I've been into since I was a teenager - and maybe even earlier than that (it is hard to pinpoint it exactly). With that being said, if I were to be single again, I would still be a mommy.

Would I date a dominant guy? Of course not - because I'm a domme mommy. I have dated dominate/vanilla guys in the past, and they just didn't work out (not just because of that, but looking back I realize that this is a huge part of my personality) Maybe more caregivers/nurturing mommy's would be okay with dating a dominate guy - if the ABDL side was more about nurturing rather than sex. (I cannot speak though for them on this, as that isn't who I am) 

As for manly - that has nothing to do with being a dominant or sub. My boyfriend is an LB/sub, and he is one of the manliest men that I know - it's all about character. There is plenty of wannabe dominate's who are really beta males. (but that is getting a bit off topic :p) 

To be honest, though, I have a certain 'type' that I go for - which is geeky/cutesy/dorky guys - which more often than not either will be vanilla or sub (but some have been dominate). 

My advice - is date someone and just get your feelers out there if you believe they could be into ABDL. You can usually get a general idea of what someone is into pretty early off in any relationship (friendship or more). Though, that isn't always the case. For me, as an example, no one can ever guess that I'm a domme mommy. Most people automatically assume that I'm a little girl/sub (because of my overall personality and interests and whatnot) - even though I'm a hardcore domme mommy/sadist. But, once someone starts talking to me and really getting to know me - if someone was in the lifestyle, they would probably start to figure it out themselves what I am (without me having to tell them).

Don't get in a serious relationship without informing your partner of your desires - but don't just tell anyone. It is very scary to tell others our fetishes, and we've all had poor reactions, and some of us had positive ones as well. You never know — just your instinct. Be honest, be patient and you never know.

[Jbo]

11 minutes ago, mamabug said:

First, I want to say - that I'm not a mommy because of who I'm dating. I'm a mommy because of - well I'm not exactly sure, a lot of nurture vs. nature type of thing. It's been something I've been into since I was a teenager - and maybe even earlier than that (it is hard to pinpoint it exactly). With that being said, if I were to be single again, I would still be a mommy.

Would I date a dominant guy? Of course not - because I'm a domme mommy. I have dated dominate/vanilla guys in the past, and they just didn't work out (not just because of that, but looking back I realize that this is a huge part of my personality) Maybe more caregivers/nurturing mommy's would be okay with dating a dominate guy - if the ABDL side was more about nurturing rather than sex. (I cannot speak though for them on this, as that isn't who I am) 

As for manly - that has nothing to do with being a dominant or sub. My boyfriend is an LB/sub, and he is one of the manliest men that I know - it's all about character. There is plenty of wannabe dominate's who are really beta males. (but that is getting a bit off topic :p) 

To be honest, though, I have a certain 'type' that I go for - which is geeky/cutesy/dorky guys - which more often than not either will be vanilla or sub (but some have been dominate). 

My advice - is date someone and just get your feelers out there if you believe they could be into ABDL. You can usually get a general idea of what someone is into pretty early off in any relationship (friendship or more). Though, that isn't always the case. For me, as an example, no one can ever guess that I'm a domme mommy. Most people automatically assume that I'm a little girl/sub (because of my overall personality and interests and whatnot) - even though I'm a hardcore domme mommy/sadist. But, once someone starts talking to me and really getting to know me - if someone was in the lifestyle, they would probably start to figure it out themselves what I am (without me having to tell them).

Don't get in a serious relationship without informing your partner of your desires - but don't just tell anyone. It is very scary to tell others our fetishes, and we've all had poor reactions, and some of us had positive ones as well. You never know — just your instinct. Be honest, be patient and you never know.

That’s impressive advice mamabug! You should write a book, you come across as good writer (author)!  It was interesting when you said “you knew about your kink since you where a teenager, maybe younger”. I always wondered if the mommy’s, caregiver or dominant role was something that was developed when introduced to the ab/dL lifestyle. As you are aware myself included that most ab/dl’s Knew at a very young age about our diaper side. I guess the same can be said about the mommy/caregiver role also just like most any other lifestyle.

Telling someone about our lifestyle is indeed very scary, I envy those who found the strength to put themselves out there to find their partner, it takes an extreme amount of courage to do that.

[mamabug]

28 minutes ago, Jbo said:

That’s impressive advice mamabug! You should write a book, you come across as good writer (author)!  It was interesting when you said “you knew about your kink since you where a teenager, maybe younger”. I always wondered if the mommy’s, caregiver or dominant role was something that was developed when introduced to the ab/dL lifestyle. As you are aware myself included that most ab/dl’s Knew at a very young age about our diaper side. I guess the same can be said about the mommy/caregiver role also just like most any other lifestyle.

Telling someone about our lifestyle is indeed very scary, I envy those who found the strength to put themselves out there to find their partner, it takes an extreme amount of courage to do that.

Thank you! I am actually, in fact, an author (haha) and eventually down the road, I plan on actually writing a more indebt detailed book about how I became a mommy (er, at least points in my life that I think helped shape my way), what I have learned about the ABDL/BDSM community and what a REAL abdl relationship is like

I will admit, that I'm probably kind of a unicorn in that regard - I haven't really met many mommies who came into the fetish as I did. I would say most are 'brought in' when their partner tells them of their own fetish, and they realize they enjoy it. I don't necessarily know why that is. Because deep down they had feelings but were too scared or unsure? Perhaps they knew nothing of the ABDL world and that it existed so, therefore, they couldn't exactly 'pinpoint' what was missing.' But, I am sure there are others who were like me who found this fetish on their own. So I understand all the feelings of being ashamed and whatnot.

Yeah, it's not hard. I've had okay reactions from partners and not so great ones - but nothing ever went far enough for them wanting to participate. I mean, to be fair, it is easier to tell someone that you enjoy wearing diapers - rather than wanting to put someone else in diapers (haha)

I just happened to be lucky enough to find someone who wasn't only just the perfect person for me on every other level  - but just so happened to be ABDL himself.

Anything is possible with the right attitude/mindset. 

 

[Jbo]

21 minutes ago, mamabug said:

Thank you! I am actually, in fact, an author (haha) and eventually down the road, I plan on actually writing a more indebt detailed book about how I became a mommy (er, at least points in my life that I think helped shape my way), what I have learned about the ABDL/BDSM community and what a REAL abdl relationship is like

I will admit, that I'm probably kind of a unicorn in that regard - I haven't really met many mommies who came into the fetish as I did. I would say most are 'brought in' when their partner tells them of their own fetish, and they realize they enjoy it. I don't necessarily know why that is. Because deep down they had feelings but were too scared or unsure? Perhaps they knew nothing of the ABDL world and that it existed so, therefore, they couldn't exactly 'pinpoint' what was missing.' But, I am sure there are others who were like me who found this fetish on their own. So I understand all the feelings of being ashamed and whatnot.

Yeah, it's not hard. I've had okay reactions from partners and not so great ones - but nothing ever went far enough for them wanting to participate. I mean, to be fair, it is easier to tell someone that you enjoy wearing diapers - rather than wanting to put someone else in diapers (haha)

I just happened to be lucky enough to find someone who wasn't only just the perfect person for me on every other level  - but just so happened to be ABDL himself.

Anything is possible with the right attitude/mindset. 

 

So you are an author! I guessed right,You are very articulate ?, if it is easier to tell someone that I would like to wear rather than them wearing then I have that going for me, I’m a sub who loves a nurturer( I melt like butter when a woman nurtures me) and I have “no interest” in being dominant and having them wear. I hope that doesn’t make me come off as selfish but it’s who I am. I would be  interested in seeing some of your work!

[mamabug]

13 minutes ago, Jbo said:

So you are an author! I guessed right,You are very articulate ?, if it is easier to tell someone that I would like to wear rather than them wearing then I have that going for me, I’m a sub who loves a nurturer( I melt like butter when a woman nurtures me) and I have “no interest” in being dominant and having them wear. I hope that doesn’t make me come off as selfish but it’s who I am. I would be  interested in seeing some of your work!

You are correct! And thank you for the compliment  

And there is nothing wrong with that, we all have our interest - so long as you're not thinking only about what the person can do for you - but what you can bring to the table, then you shouldn't have any problems.

Those that remain alone - are those who are only thinking of what a 'mommy' can do for them. I can't count how many times I've asked people who messaged me randomly and asked me to mommy them - what I would get out of it. Very few ever had a real answer. 

[Jbo]

1 hour ago, mamabug said:

You are correct! And thank you for the compliment  

And there is nothing wrong with that, we all have our interest - so long as you're not thinking only about what the person can do for you - but what you can bring to the table, then you shouldn't have any problems.

Those that remain alone - are those who are only thinking of what a 'mommy' can do for them. I can't count how many times I've asked people who messaged me randomly and asked me to mommy them - what I would get out of it. Very few ever had a real answer. 

Your also very good at punctuation ?, I forget to say that earlier.Agreed a relationship has to be a 2 way street. I wonder if a lot of littles have so much built up from keeping their secret inside them for so long that they forget about their future partners needs.I am single because of fear( the potential negative outcome from telling a partner), the dating scene alone is a mess let alone putting my lifestyle in the mix. 

[mamabug]

15 hours ago, Jbo said:

Your also very good at punctuation ?, I forget to say that earlier.Agreed a relationship has to be a 2 way street. I wonder if a lot of littles have so much built up from keeping their secret inside them for so long that they forget about their future partners needs.I am single because of fear( the potential negative outcome from telling a partner), the dating scene alone is a mess let alone putting my lifestyle in the mix. 

Perhaps. I think loneliness and desperation don't help with it. They built up this fantasy of the way they wish it would be, but it is not like that. I try to be patient with little/subs who approach me and wish to talk. But yeah, relationships are a two-way street - and even vanilla people don't always understand that concept.

Don't be scared of dating, because, nothing will happen if you don't put yourself out there. 

[MommyJess]

The man (now my baby boy) that introduced me to this lifestyle 8 years ago was the most masculine man I’d ever dated. I went on to date others (a couple of babies along the way) ... but he’s always been the most masculine, and also the most willing to submit to any of mommy’s requests. 

[Jbo]

On 4/17/2019 at 4:20 AM, MommyJess said:

The man (now my baby boy) that introduced me to this lifestyle 8 years ago was the most masculine man I’d ever dated. I went on to date others (a couple of babies along the way) ... but he’s always been the most masculine, and also the most willing to submit to any of mommy’s requests. 

That very interesting mommy Jess ! Would you mind if I messaged you? I would be interested to know how you got started with the lifestyle.

[Fulldiaper]

@mamabug

@MommyJess

What is it that you derive from being an ABDL mommy if you don't mind me asking? What are your expectations from the relationship on the part of your partner and your needs and desires?

[mamabug]

7 minutes ago, Fulldiaper said:

@mamabug

@MommyJess

What is it that you derive from being an ABDL mommy if you don't mind me asking? What are your expectations from the relationship on the part of your partner and your needs and desires?

I get to feel like myself. All my previous relationships were with vanilla dudes who pretty much had no interest in my fetish (the farthest some would go would be calling me mommy) and I always felt like something was missing. I never got to be myself. Now that I'm in an ABDL relationship, I feel like 100% me because the person I'm with is compatible with me both in a vanilla and fetish sense. Anything we do together - we both equally enjoy. There are no sacrifices to be made. I've been sexually interested in diapers since a young teen, I love humiliating, but I'm also naturally nurturing and hell even a bit of a caretaker (but my title is still a domme mommy and not a caregiver lol) - all those are a part of me and that is what I get out of the relationship  

[Fulldiaper]

@mamabug

Thank you for that. I understand where you are coming from. All of my partners knew about my ABDL side before we got serious. Some embraced it and empowered themselves as the Dominant partner in the relationship, whereas a few thought the man should be the dominant factor in the relationship.