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Feeling down


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Look first I want to say I do believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins and nobody or anything will ever be able to shake that. That's out the way now you know that in case you are too and you have some input for me. Anyway, I'm down because my life is a mess. I'm irrisponsible, I don't pay any bills where I live, I make an ass out of myself and km very thankful. Everyone is tired of me. In the year of 2017, my entire family and all of my friends found out I was an ”ABDL” which is extremely embarrassing because now there's no secret and I can't really live in discretion of one of the only things that makes me feel happy. Not to mention today is the first day in almost a year that iv started wearing diapers again. Anyway, my life is a mess. Every secret or feeling I have had has come out and everyone knows how stupid I are. I feel like I want to just not live anymore. There's no point when every person is judging me because the more they judge me the more I'm down and therefor it makes me more of an ass. (pardon the French). What do I do? How can I secretly be an ABDL when everyone knows I'm an ABDL? How do I live my life without anyone asking ”is that a box of diapers” when I get them delivered. Im just very down right now. I wish j had a girlfriend.

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It doesn't ultimately matter that they know, just find some common ground that you can connect to other people, but if you can't then make a clean start and move away from your environment. It sucks not having respect, but if you don't respect yourself then what do you have? Suicide is never the answer,  assess whether you can live in your current environment or relocate.

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Lots of folks find it gets better to pull up roots and make a clean start elsewhere. It's a tough thing to do but it can help. It's not going to change your tendencies, only give you a fresh chance to address them without outside influence keeping you down. Much of what you note here are common characteristics of Clinical Depression which is a physical disease as much as a mental one, and there can be help with that. I think that you'd do well to speak with a Therapist to help you sort out what you should be doing to make life better. They can help you find direction and help you keep from feeling so overwhelmed. Life can be good but that always takes work to make it that way, so you really need to start addressing your issues in a better way which is exactly what Therapy does for you.

Bettypooh

 

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  • 2 months later...
On 2/11/2019 at 2:45 AM, GatorMan said:

Look first I want to say I do believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins and nobody or anything will ever be able to shake that. That's out the way now you know that in case you are too and you have some input for me. Anyway, I'm down because my life is a mess. I'm irrisponsible, I don't pay any bills where I live, I make an ass out of myself and km very thankful. Everyone is tired of me. In the year of 2017, my entire family and all of my friends found out I was an ”ABDL” which is extremely embarrassing because now there's no secret and I can't really live in discretion of one of the only things that makes me feel happy. Not to mention today is the first day in almost a year that iv started wearing diapers again. Anyway, my life is a mess. Every secret or feeling I have had has come out and everyone knows how stupid I are. I feel like I want to just not live anymore. There's no point when every person is judging me because the more they judge me the more I'm down and therefor it makes me more of an ass. (pardon the French). What do I do? How can I secretly be an ABDL when everyone knows I'm an ABDL? How do I live my life without anyone asking ”is that a box of diapers” when I get them delivered. Im just very down right now. I wish j had a girlfriend.

Oh that would definatly push me deeper/over the edge if everyone knew I was abdl.

Clueless people who don't understand would then probably think I was a peado, and disown me. Or start false rumours.

A few people disowned me when they found out I was pansexual and liked guys. Fucking acquaintances, can never fully trust them unlike actual friends. 

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