For Those Who Are Bladder Incontinent Not By Choice

[rusty pins]

This is for people who are bladder incontinent due to accident, medical issues, birth, etc.  This is not for those who decided to become incontinent in order to always have to wear diapers.

If you became urinary incontinent at some point in your life due to an accident that damaged your body or a medical illness or operation gone bad that made you urinary incontinent, did you try other options to deal with your bladder incontinence other than diapers?  For example, did you try a condom catheter and leg bag instead of a diaper?  If so, what made you decide to start wearing diapers instead?  Yes, I know many people with incontinence have become diaper lovers when dealing with their issues but I'm just wondering how many who became bladder incontinent at some point in their life who never had any prior desires to wear diapers ended up choosing diapers over other ways to deal with their issue.  Perhaps condom catheters came lose, leaked or caused a UTI.  Maybe the leg bag was uncomfortable or hard to deal with.  Maybe it was hard to tell when it was full and therefore started to leak.  Maybe the tube came loose and your clothing got wet.  Whatever the case, I'm wondering if you first tried other means of dealing with your bladder incontinence other than diapers, what didn't you like about them, what problems did they cause for you and what made you decide to just wear diapers instead.

[Rob110]

I decided on diapers to manage my bladder issues after doing a lot of research and reading the forms of people who had all ready gone through the trial and errors of different options,  it took a while to find what works (betterdry diapers) but I have no regrets with my IC management choices exept may be not going to a premium diaper sooner and skipping the thinner diapers that leaked. 

 Diapers give you the most mobility back and they are way easier to deal with then a catheter and a leg bag some times the simplest solution is the best,   I have thought of using a catheter in the past but my job is way to physical to alow me the option of wearing a bag strapped to my leg. 

For now diapers are my best option but if my urologist comes up with new options I am open to trying them if theres no side effects or risk of permanent injury due to a surgery procedure.

 

 

 

 

[fillemup]

I had a bout of minor bladder incontinence about 3 years ago when I wrenched my back. I already had an L5-S1 disc and lost some bladder control for about 6 weeks but it cleared up. Last summer, I wrenched my back really bad again and lost all control of my bladder and bowels for about 2 weeks. Partial control slowly came back as time went on. I still only have partial control of things and am having to wear a diaper to bed and anytime I leave home. I have not considered any other way of dealing with the issue because something like a catheter and bag system would only deal with half of the issue. The only solution for my condition is to wear a diaper to contain my accidents which happen frequently when I am out and about. I thought that by now, my condition would have improved to have full control of my bodily output. But it hasn't. I think I did perminant damage to the nerves that control things.

[O2binspired]

Ok. When I was 8 I found out that my bladder sphincter was malformed due to a birth defect.  The doctors tried many ways to help eliminate the pressure of urine. I didn’t notice much back when I was 8 other than an occasional uti from urine backup.  When I was 13 I just strained to pee all the time. It was harder than pooping. The decision my parents made was for the doctor to cut the sphincter to help.  Unfortunately it left me with no control.  So at 13 I had no option but to wear a diaper,  I was a freshman in high school.  I was totally devastated.  

I guess because the decision was made for me a condom catheter was never posed to me.  I tried a few times in my late teens but I didn’t like the feel.  So I had become so used to wearing a diaper I just gave in.  

[adhb]

I have urge urinary incontinence that is the result of a surgical mishap when I was 14 years old. I’ve never been reliably dry at night since then and had to wear a diaper 24/7 during my first theee years of high school. However, I was a fanatic about doing what are nowadays called Kegel exercises and reached the point where I could usually go without a daytime diaper by the time a went to university. But my daytime issues worsened as I got older; and I’ve been  back in diapers 24/7 for the past 30 years or so. Every urologist that I’ve ever seen has recommended that I use an external catheter connected to a leg bag instead of wearing diapers. I’ve tried following the doctors’ suggestions on several occasions, but I keep coming back to diapers because I prefer them. The leg bags used to collect urine from an external catheter can be problematic. If bumped against something, the bag can rupture and dump its entire contents down your leg, producing a puddle on the floor or furniture. I’ve experienced my share of leaky diapers, but never anything like the deluge that a ruptured leg bag can produce. However, the main reason I wear diapers is that I like the way a diaper feels, wet or dry. I don’t recall having any interest in diapers before my surgical mishap; but as a horny young teenager, I quickly discovered the erotic characteristics of diapers. In my opinion, a diaper certainly feels better than an external catheter! And the way a diaper feels is the main reason I wear a diaper instead of an external catheter. 

[Newbee]

My specialist suggested meds she even prescribed them but after my husband did some research on the meds she wanted me to take we decided that diapers were a much better option because the possible side effects of the meds were really bad and due to my medical history which the specialist didn’t look into I really shouldn’t have been prescribed them. So for me it’s diapers which after 6 months I’m still getting use to

[Bettypooh]

When my SI/UI/OAB "mixed incontinence" went belong my ability to control it and exceeded thr capacity of pads, I switched over to diapers both from want as well as it being the easiest way to deal with it. I do not and never have liked taking Meds except as the last resort, and having done some research I concluded that a 'sheath' wasn't going to be an option for my short 'endowment'. Even without my DL tendencies I'm sure I would have wound up here anyway as it's the only workable solution for me.

Bettypooh

[SiliconeSpandex]

Although I don't mind the feel of diapers, I use a condom cath for two reasons: 1) I have urge incontinence and often have rapid releases that don't absorb quickly enough, and 2) they're much easier to just empty than to carry diapers and change.  I also wear some absorbent due to tubing disconnecting (thanks to anti-reflux valves there is limited leakage).  There are a number if fixes I would make if I could design them, including barbs or clamps rather than friction fit tubes (the biggest cause of leaks for me), the tube would extend int the bag to reduce a stoppage there (rare, but it happens), bigger volume bags (I use a 2 liter night bag as a stomach bag because any bag seems FULL at half the rated volume and I don't like the feel of leg bags--fortunately I don't have a big belly and wear a safety vest to cover it.)  I wear it all under a waterproof cover so a small leak will be absorbed by the absorbent and not show; obviously, a bag burst would be a show stopper.  I do wear diapers at night.

[stevewet]

I became incontinent in my late 40's due to diabetic related neuropathy and have been in nappies for the last 7 years.

[mick_dl]

When I became IC due to a late treated UTI my first goal was to became continent again. Therefor a condom catheter was not really helpful, because the treatment was a combination of bladder training and toldterin. So it was necessary that I be able use the toilet - if possible. To make this easy I did't use diapers but pads over the daytime, because I had also a shrinked bladder and I wasn't loosing that much over an episode. More over pads where easier to change and work better if I make it to the toilet in time.

That changed later, because the success of the treatment had also a drawback: The more my bladder can hold again, the worse the accident became if I loose control. So maybe after a year I had "only" one or two accidents a day (instead of maybe 20 at the beginning) but at that stage pads did't work anymore because I loose to much with an episode.  Even a year later with even more training, I make it to be more or less continent again over the daytime, and had only nighttime accidents. Unfortunately this become worse again and for the moment I have to wear diapers again over the night.

Former times I tried CC's for the night time but wasn't really happy with it because I sleep better with a diaper and more over was a cost factor because the health insurance was (at the point where I tried) not willing to pay for the night supply anymore.

I not sure how this is in other countries but in Germany there are 3 reason to get support from the health insurance for IC aids: A medical indication like decubitus prophylaxis, on an individual case (that normaly never happens...), and in support of the social live. When I become continent again over  the daytime the health insurance starts arguing that there is no need to support me anymore for the night time because I sleep in the night - and there is no "social live"... This was one of the first lessons I's learned about our health insurances system... Luckily this was  easy to fix, because I argued with my doc that I still had daytime accidents too (what is unfortunately true because - I still need a diaper for driving to work and back home.  I often stickup in a traffic jams and have then no chance don't make it to a toilet in time). Interestingly with this argumentation I got the  supply back for the night time too - some how strange but anyway...  

[stevewet]

On 2/9/2019 at 10:24 PM, Newbee said:

My specialist suggested meds she even prescribed them but after my husband did some research on the meds she wanted me to take we decided that diapers were a much better option because the possible side effects of the meds were really bad and due to my medical history which the specialist didn’t look into I really shouldn’t have been prescribed them. So for me it’s diapers which after 6 months I’m still getting use to

Same here too many side effects.

[mick_dl]

Well, the side effects where heavy and toldterin was that on that worked best for me, how ever after   the first year I set it down also,  because there was no real improvement with it any more . On the longterm  the bladder training + the change of drinking times and the avoidance of coffee and orange where the real sussessors

[babykeiff]

Incontinent from birth due to (simple non medical term) bridged and crossed nerve and muscle control. This wasn't diagnosed until I was 8. Even then, doctors tried almost mediavial torture devices including clamps, indwelling catheters with valves, bags etc. It was after numerous infections and near fatal kidney damage that a nurse suggested diapers - the thick bulky folded cloth kind and plastic pants during my teenage years. That did little for my street cred or my social standing in school.

It was not until I was 16/17 that I started with disposable diapers which gave me a lot more freedom and independence.

Personal research has told me exactly that the cause is genetic and also, despite the wishful thinking of the medical community worldwide, incontinence is either a direct result or a side effect of a nerve and/or muscle control which is NOT cureable in todays medicine. Maybe on Star Trek fiction, but not in reality today.

In my opinion, diapers are the only way of managing incontinence where the side effects of management does not require medical intervention (in most cases). The world has been managing diaper dependance in babies since about 400BC. That is 2000+ years, and before the discovery of most medical intervention. I think that we, as humans, know how to handle diapers by this stage.

[Real world Incon]

I started with diapers to control night time accidents when I was twelve and by high school, I was using pads in the daytime. after High school  my bladder issue kept progressing so I experimented with condom catheters, I had a lot of issues with the condom pcs coming off when I moved and the job I had required climbing ladders the leg bag and tube always pulled and I could not find a good way to work and use the catheter in a way that didn't constantly have me worrying about it or having leaks. During that time I had a few surgeries to try to correct my bladder issues and each time they left me with an indwelling catheter for extended time for me to heal and I had a terrible time with them from painful bladder spasms, infections and other negative aspects for me.  Both products prevented me from doing the job I enjoyed so Diapers were and still are the best product for me. these products certainly work fine for many but I just had a rough time with them.

[rusty pins]

23 hours ago, Real world Incon said:

I started with diapers to control night time accidents when I was twelve and by high school, I was using pads in the daytime. after High school  my bladder issue kept progressing so I experimented with condom catheters, I had a lot of issues with the condom pcs coming off when I moved and the job I had required climbing ladders the leg bag and tube always pulled and I could not find a good way to work and use the catheter in a way that didn't constantly have me worrying about it or having leaks. During that time I had a few surgeries to try to correct my bladder issues and each time they left me with an indwelling catheter for extended time for me to heal and I had a terrible time with them from painful bladder spasms, infections and other negative aspects for me.  Both products prevented me from doing the job I enjoyed so Diapers were and still are the best product for me. these products certainly work fine for many but I just had a rough time with them.

Great!  This is what I meant.  Someone who has tried other options, discovered there were some problems or issues and found diapers to be the best overall solutions.  While diapers may very well be the best overall solutions, at least some people realize there are other things they might try first to see if that manages their bladder incontinence.  Part of me started this thread because some people here (a couple of them) have posted about their incontinence and sometimes are discouraged by having to wear diapers.  Diapers may be what eventually is needed, if someone tries other options they may find that in some situations they will work.  For example, you may still need a diaper at work or out and about where you are active and walking around, but perhaps at home in the evening sitting in the chair watching TV or reading the paper, a condom catheter and leg bag might allow you to get out of the diaper for a while and air out a bit.  Even from a mental state of mind, just the idea for some people that they are bladder incontinent but don't always have to be wearing a diaper could help their outlook!  Maybe a balance of two different options - a diaper when active and away from home and a condom catheter when relaxing in the evening watching TV when you are mostly sitting and not moving around so much.   For those who get upset, bothered or dwell on the fact that they have to be in diapers 24/7/365, times like this could make a difference in their mental well being.

[babykeiff]

rusty pins,

it seems to me that you are looking for an alternative to diapers as a management device to bladder incontinence. To put it as simply as possible, bladder incontinence is NOT curable as it is a side effect to a larger issue. Secondly, any device that requires itself to be stuck into you is an intrusion. One size does not fit all. No one is 'normal'. As a result, the normal / average / regular sized implanted device (catheter, condom catheter) does not fit exactly to everyone. Each of use are unique.

If one is depending on an inserted / sheath device, it won't fit perfectly, AND will cause infection.

Medical Science percieve incontinence as a disease that they must fix - in order to place the paitent into the 'normal' category. 

Nobody is exactly 'normal'. People are +/- 10 to 30% normal.

Diapers cope with ranges / groups of people - but leak a little bit. The only way to get diapers to not leak is to get them custom made!!

 

[rusty pins]

Yes and no.  I personally am not looking for anything because I'm not incontinent and I wear diapers for personal enjoyment a few times a week.  As I have stated, some people get in depressed moods because they always have to be wearing a diaper for their bladder incontinence even though at times they may enjoy it.  Other times not so much.  Yes, if someone hasn't tried other options besides diapers, maybe if they did they might find an alternative other than diapers that would work to manage their incontinence.  It may not work, but then again, maybe it would work great for some people and they may prefer an alternative to having to wear diapers 24/7/365, even if they may still need diapers in some situations.  True, " One size does not fit all. No one is 'normal'. As a result, the normal / average / regular sized implanted device (catheter, condom catheter) does not fit exactly to everyone. Each of use are unique".  That said, there will be people that a condom catheter won't fit or work, but since no one is "normal", it works both ways.  While many may not be able to use a condom catheter due to fit or other problems, there may be a lot of people out there who will have no problems at all.  No one is the same.  That's why clothing comes in all different sizes and while some people find a perfect fit, others will still need a custom made suit because an off the rack just won't fit.  Even an off the rack suit can often be altered to fit someone.

This is what I was trying to ask, no reading between the lines.  If you are bladder incontinent, was wearing diapers the first and only thing you did to manage it, or have you first tried other options like a condom catheter and leg bag or other ways to manage.  It may very well be that diapers are the best or only solution that works for any one particular situation, especially if someone has tried other ideas.  I'm not discouraging anyone from wearing diapers if they want to for whatever reasons.

I am not at all or have never,(and I think my posts are very clear on this), stated that your incontinence can be fixed or cured.  Possibly at some point in time medical research can come up with cures for all kinds of things like cancer, spinal cord damage, hearing loss, blindness, and others depending on what the cause of it is.  Obviously, if someone's eye has been poked out there isn't much that can be done, but nerve damage might eventually be corrected with research.  Look how many people have been able to hear that couldn't.  Also people who were paralized can walk with a machine that helps them move their legs.  Polio was once rampant and now you hardly ever hear of it.  Research is ongoing and look at the past 40 or 50 years where there are heart, lung, kidney transplants and things routine now that in the past were though impossible.  Perhaps in the future some types of incontinence can be cured, BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I SUGGESTED HERE AT ALL!

I also know that some people are AB, DL and Incontinent and truly embrace wearing diapers and wouldn't give them up even if there were better solutions for managing their situation.  Please don't read into this more than I intended.  I am not trying to get everyone here to give up their diapers.  If that's what they want, FINE!  I do, as I have stated, know there are some people who at times get discouraged that they have to wear diapers 24/7 for their bladder incontinence, and I simply asked if diapers were their first and only choice to manage, or if they tried other options.  If anyone reads my original post, I clearly stated, " Perhaps condom catheters came lose, leaked or caused a UTI.  Maybe the leg bag was uncomfortable or hard to deal with.  Maybe it was hard to tell when it was full and therefore started to leak.  Maybe the tube came loose and your clothing got wet".  I am well aware that in some cases these are possible problems that can happen.  I pointed out that maybe some people did have problems and that was why they decided diapers were the best overall solution.  Fine.  At least they did try other options first so if some of them feel depressed at times they at least know they have tried other options, and maybe some who do get depressed at times might think, "Hmmmm.  Condom catheter.  I never thought of that and maybe it might work for me in some special situations other than a diaper."

[Bettypooh]

I can understand Rusty's 'academic' interest in this. He's well-explained his own story on DD many times over

My distant brother recently had surgery that left him with no urinary control, and related to me of his using a 'sheath' cath and bag, as he couldn't use an indwelling type. He was having problems as night being a restless sleeper so I discussed my own issues with him and recommended something better than the institutional pull-ups his doctor had recommended. He hasn't mentioned anything since then save that he still needs the bag, which he's comfortable with. He did mention it was kind of convenient to not have to stop what you're doing to go pee sometimes I didn't relate my whole situation, omitting the DL parts, but I did discuss my loss of control and how I handle it with diapers. I also have a sister who wears pads, partly due to effects from her hysterectomy and partly due to her aging. She's somewhat open with that, but doesn't seem very comfortable discussing it.

Bettypooh

[babykeiff]

Bettypooh,

Rusty Pins query / interest in others choices that exclude diapers can be...

View #1: Asking others to admit their failures (my personal view)

View #2: Checking available options to diapers - for academic reasons (your view)

View #3: Seeking thrills / sexual excitement on the act / omission of others

Is there another reason? He, by his own admission, is not incontinent and chooses to wear diapers for 'personal use'.

I, personally feel used by Rusty Pins, as I suspect do others who responded to him in good faith.

I thought that I was helping a fellow AB  / incontinence person, not someone who's knowledge and experience is being picked dry for another 'this is the way to do x' books!!! Medical science in relation to incontinence is still in the stoneage, and I personally feel it is due to the misinformation provided by idiots.

[rusty pins]

Just thought I would comment on one thing.  We have many forums on this site.  Diaper Lovers, Stinky Squishy and Proud, Baby Talk, Our Lifestyle and others.  There is an Incontinence Desires forum and it has been said many times by admins that you will be warned if you speak out against people in that particular forum who want to purposely make themselves incontinent in order to have no choice but to wear diapers 24/7/365.  It is there place for their discussion.

This particular forum is for discussions about medical issues for those who live with Incontinence.  The pinned post at the top dated October 2006 under PURPOSE OF INCONTINENCE FORUM states:

"This forum is not for posts about can you make me wet myself. This particular forum is for support, advice, and the sole communication of Incontenint members of this board who want serious conversation.

If you are here to meet someone, post it in 'meeting place'

If you are here to become Incontinent, post it in 'General'

All posts will be moved if they are irrelevant.  

While there are many forums on this website about wearing diapers, baby play and others having to do with a diaper lifestyle, this INCONTINENCE-MEDICAL section is for people with incontinence for those who live with incontinence, bedwetting, IBS etc... as it states at the top of this section.  While some love diapers and would never want to be without them, this forum is for more than discussions of diapers.  As the pinned post I quoted above says, "This particular forum is for support, advice, and the sole communication of Incontenint members of this board who want serious conversation".  While diapers may be a serious part of medical discussions on how to handle incontinence, it is not the sole topic of this forum.  This forum is for support, advice and communication of incontinent members, and that support, advice and conversation can include tips,advice and discussions of many ways of handling incontinence issues other than "Wearing Diapers" just because the majority of the site and members have some AB or Diaper fetish.  There are plenty of forums on this site to discuss our diaper fetishes and while diapers may actually be the best solution for many who are incontinent, I personally don't feel we should be condemned on this particular incontinence forum by anyone for talking about other means for managing incontinence other than wearing diapers all the time.

[Bettypooh]

I have to disagree with babykeiff because I am one of those who thirsts for knowledge even with things I play no part in, or have no desire to do. I simply like to understand everything as best I can, which I find allows me to see everything else more clearly too.

While every Mod or Admin can operate here, I do most of the Mod work in this forum. My approach has been from the start to first protect the Medically Incontinent from harm or bashing as this forum DOES belong to them, and second to not disallow relevant conversation which is not being complained about by the people whom this forum belongs to. If I receive such a complaint or have dealt with a similar issue in the past I will most certainly act on the behalf of the Medically Incontinent when such acts benefit them; that's my job here.

Anyone with a complaint or who wishes to discuss how I function here is most welcome to PM me and I will respond to you ASAP.  If we can't reach a satisfactory resolution then I recommend you take the matter up with the site owner DailyDi.

It is my intent to leave this discussion going until such time that it requires my official attention, so let's not argue the point here where it's going to adversely affect everyone..

Bettypooh

[scif788]

I have urge urinary incontinence that is the result of a surgical mishap when I was 14 years old. I’ve never been reliably dry at night since then and had to wear a diaper 24/7 during my first theee years of high school. However, I was a fanatic about doing what are nowadays called Kegel exercises and reached the point where I could usually go without a daytime diaper by the time a went to university. But my daytime issues worsened as I got older; and I’ve been  back in diapers 24/7 for the past 30 years or so. Every urologist that I’ve ever seen has recommended that I use an external catheter connected to a leg bag instead of wearing diapers. I’ve tried following the doctors’ suggestions on several occasions, but I keep coming back to diapers because I prefer them. The leg bags used to collect urine from an external catheter can be problematic. If bumped against something, the bag can rupture and dump its entire contents down your leg, producing a puddle on the floor or furniture. I’ve experienced my share of leaky diapers, but never anything like the deluge that a ruptured leg bag can produce. However, the main reason I wear diapers is that I like the way a diaper feels, wet or dry. I don’t recall having any interest in diapers before my surgical mishap; but as a horny young teenager, I quickly discovered the erotic characteristics of diapers. In my opinion, a diaper certainly feels better than an external catheter! And the way a diaper feels is the main reason I wear a diaper instead of an external catheter. 

I i have urge urinary incontinence from medication i did my research it didnt start until about three years but as a child i had bone age disease underdeveloped bladder because of that had to take growth hormone through out high school my bladder was already weak anyway because i was underdeveloped scrawnier and tiny and bedwet until i was 13.5 always been medicated since kindergarten caused a lot of side effects all my current medication causes frequent urgency urination and accidents diapers i chose because thats all i had access too


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Same here too many side effects.

Same


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ThomasInWVa]

Tired condom an indwelling caths. My skin cannot tolerate the adhesive of the condom cath. The indwelling cath caused significant internal irritation. And with evidence of internal bladder damage I gladly stopped them. They are not very workable for an active lifestyle. 

I explored surgical options but they had too many severe risks and costs.

I'm not happy about diapers but they are simple and work well. Never had a UTI with a diaper. 

[littleJaina]

Have you ever been annoyed that they decided this without your input? 

[ppdude]

Mine is also due to sphincter malfunction. I did not opt for surgical solutions as I didn't like the outcomes. I tried every non-surgical option I could get my hands on without success. Doc  thinks that surgery should only be used as a last resort and that diapers are the best way to go. That's been his opinion for the last 25 years .