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My partner isn't throwing his soiled diapers away.


Greenie

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I'm not sure how to bring this up without making him embarrassed. I am obviously aware of his diaper fetish. He has recently started to wear the largest size of Pull-Ups.

I went under the bathroom counter yesterday to get something and there were like 4 or 5 of them in there! Judging my the smell - he had definitely wet them.

I feel awful - he must really, truly, feel like he has to hide them if he's stuffing them away down there. Diapers aren't my thing, but I have no issue with him wearing them and I thought I had made that pretty evident. I don't know why he doesn't just throw them in the normal trash can that gets emptied far more often.

How can I bring this up with out embarrassing him or making him feel bad? I don't care if he wants to use a diaper / pull-up and mess in it, just throw the freaking thing away after!

Is this normal or part of the whole thing and I'm missing that somehow?

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Hi,

This is not part of the whole thing at all and is actually a health hazard and disrespectful rolled into one. Honestly, your partner's behaviour is not really acceptable and should be called out. I would suggest having an honest but frank conversation and saying enough is enough. Tolerarating or condoning that kind of behaviour is bad for both of you. That is only my opinion but I would never do that to my partners and if I did something similar I would hope and pray they would call me on it immediately so I stopped and started being more considerate to others around me.

Kaiya

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You just need to call him out on it and tell him that while you are fine with him wearing diapers/pull-ups he needs to be more respectful and clean and throw them away I always throw mine away as it’s not fair to my husband if I don’t 

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It’s completely unsanitary. There honestly should be no reason whatsoever for this kind of behavior. It may be a touchy subject, but it’s better to have before this conversation before the urine ruins something.

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I would say call him out on it and make him wear nothing but the nappy for 1 night around the house with you when no ones else's there that way he knows you've already  seen him in diaper so there's no dignity/pride to be lost by disspossing of used nappies properly if he continues quit cooking for him or quit whatever else you can do but he can't that he very much relies on you for if he's anything like most males he'll quickly realize how much he needs you and will be glad to properly disspose of diapers in order to get the things he wants back

Good luck 

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I will say that when I was really needing my wife to accept me wearing diapers I went to great lengths to shove them into her face so to speak.  I did not leave used ones hidden under the counter but I would leave used ones not hidden in the trash can intentionally so she knew I was wearing them.  For me it was because I wanted her to accept it.  It is a lot easier to be in denial when things are hidden.

I also have to hide my diapers from my children.  Sometimes when showering I will mistakenly forget about one of my used diapers after I remove it and when my wife finds it I am in a lot of trouble.  It is very easy to get complacent and lackadaisical when you where diapers more and more.

I would simply talk with him.  Reinforce that you unconditionally accept his diaper use and that it does not bother you.  Do let him know that it does bother you when you find his dirty Pampers where they do not belong.

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Instead of shaming him, an idea might be to simply purchase a diaper specific pail with a tight lid, or something like the Diaper Dekor XL which can accept adult diapers. You could then be all like, "Hey, I got you this thing because I support you" while simultaneously giving him an out to dispose of his used diapers in a sanitary way. This will do double duty as it allows you to show that you support him as well as eliminate the need to hide used diapers, because that is what its only purpose is. If he continues to hide them after getting that, then you can have a conversation about sanitation.

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I really appreciate everyone's replies. I did mention it to him last night and he immediately said, "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I know I need to throw them away."

@warpiper Thank you especially for this suggestion. I've just ordered the Dekor Diaper Pail Plus. It also looks like from a quick Google search, it can double as a cat litter pail as well!

 

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I would say take the direct route get him some pull ups and a trash pail with a lid ,explain under the sink is unacceptable once you use them you lose them by throwing them in the trash ,would you like to practice supervised, or do you think you have the concept now, under the sink is not the garbage ! If he's hoarding dirty diapers ,it's a health emergency,as well as mental health issue, he will either understand or you might consider getting him professional help .
Which I know sounds harsh however you understand and his fetish and freely let him indulge , beyond that you need to reign in unhealthy behaviours and I think ,getting him diapers/pull ups and a special can to dispose of them is a perfectly reasonable expectation and message . I have lived with people a lot less understanding and reasonable as yourself. Part of sharing your life is healthy boundaries and occasional reinforcement of same ,now is as good a time as any.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

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Since you have already spoken to him about it, I think it is a moot point from here on unless he doesn't throw them away in the future like he said he would.  Did he know that you knew he wore some kind of protection like a pull up or diaper?  If not, maybe he was just trying to hide that fact from you and hiding the used pull ups until he could dispose of them when you were not around.  Maybe he planned on doing just that but forgot and by the time he remembered you were home again and he couldn't discreetly dispose of them (in his mind).  If he was aware that you knew, maybe he was still embarrassed about the used ones.  Had you ever seen him in them?  Maybe he was aware that you knew he wore them but not that you had ever seen him in one.  Who knows unless you have to eventually ask him all kinds of personal questions about why he wears and why he didn't throw his used ones away.  Maybe he kept them because he likes sticking his head under the sink and smelling his used pull ups as part of a fetish.  I would not make a big thing of it this first time, don't embarrass him or make him feel bad.  If he is aware that you know he wears some sort of protection for whatever reason, just do as you did.  Tell him once that it's OK if he wears but he just needs to dispose of them when he takes them off and not leave them around anywhere.  Enough said, move on.  If it happens again, then bring it up in stronger words.  "What's with the used pull ups under the sink again?  I thought you were going to dispose of them.  You want me to buy a special lidded trash bin or a diaper genie and plastic disposal bags for you?  I don't care if you wear diapers but from now on, dispose of them when you take them off!!"  Let him slide a little on the first one but if it happens again now that he has been warned and agreed to dispose of them, be stronger and harsher!  Not a bitch about it, but let him know in no uncertain terms you are displeased that it happened again and if it happens the next time, it won't be pleasant for him. Cut him slack the first time, afterwards he had his chance and blew it!

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