do you fell shame in your wetting

[stevewet]

On 1/31/2019 at 1:41 PM, Danielgartin6993 said:

And my parents don’t believe my doctor is telling the truth, my father has diabetic neuropathy too actually but he’s not wetting himself yet, but when he does he’ll realize we were telling the truth the whole time 

Although there is no cure at the moment who is to say that in a few years things may be different. There are pills that help some people but they did nothing for me. In fact one of the pills I take for my diabetes actually can cause incontinence as a side effect.

On 1/17/2019 at 1:49 AM, oldwetter66 said:

       Do you fell shame in being a Adult that wets the bed or day time?

  I do.but there are some of you that seam happy or even proud that you wet!

 

I have reached the stage that I am genuinely happy in nappies. Proud of wetting the bed no but proud of my coping strategy yes very much so. 

My incontinence and enuresis is just part of who I am just as wearing nappies 24/7 is. My wife is very pragmatic and told me in no uncertain terms not to let something like incontinence get me down. "Wear nappies and get on with your life" was her reaction to my bedwetting and increasing day time incontinence.  Even when she realised I had embraced being in nappies she just said "If it helps you cope then so what. You have to live with being in nappies so what is the harm"

I have been in nappies for over 10 years now. It is just normal for me and I don't feel dressed without a nappy on.

On 2/9/2019 at 7:11 PM, oldwetter66 said:

     drs will tell you too wear a diaper  but you got to find A diaper that works for you and how you sleep most of the time A company will not pay for the good ones only the cheep ones that don't work

My doctor never once mentioned how I was going to manage my incontinence. He just refered me to the NHS continence nurses. They were and still are brilliant.

[tommyneedsdiapers90]

I only feel ashamed if I wet and I'm not padded in any way, like guards or pull ups, my normal underwear. I feel dumb and like I should know better. Padded I feel 0 shame

 

[stevewet]

31 minutes ago, tommyneedsdiapers90 said:

I only feel ashamed if I wet and I'm not padded in any way, like guards or pull ups, my normal underwear. I feel dumb and like I should know better. Padded I feel 0 shame

 

Dare not risk it without protection nowadays.

[tommyneedsdiapers90]

3 minutes ago, stevewet said:

Dare not risk it without protection nowadays.

Exactly my feelings but sometimes I air out and wear nothing under my shorts or pj pants and then the dribbles start...

[bbrz]

Only in the beginning, when my wife made me wear diapers, she hated the sheets wet with urine and having to rewash the bedding, she would harshly reprimand me every time, a feeling of shame that left me terribly overwhelmed in its moments of testing, therefore, I was also ashamed, especially when my diapers leaked in the bed or on a piece of furniture. I was still entitled to reprimands from him. It was very hard for me psychologically at first. To have a good butt thickness when I walked, I told my wife that my diaper and my panties make noise and my diaper thickness is very visible, people will surely comment on me in a derogatory way. As a result, she assured me that no one would notice them. Unless they come to the house unexpectedly, like the neighbor she saw me several times just in wet diapers, she hastened to tell him that I was due for a diaper change with her sarcastic smile .Because at no time do I have to cover my diaper, just strut around in my diaper with plastic pantie around the house. It still took me a while before I could go out in public in diapers without having the phobia of people staring at my puffy butt from my diaper. Since then, I've worked a lot on myself to come to terms with having to wear diapers 24/24 at my age.🧷

Quote

 

[~Brian~]

Good morning!

I don't feel any shame at all! part of the problem is there's people out there that have built into our heads the fact that wearing diapers is shameful or bad or terrible or yucky or whatever it is that we have been instilled into our heads as we are kids. Parents used to tell us all these things about how bad it was, and then of course when you have issues, There are some people who may end up being non empathetic or non sympathetic to you. Most of the time come at this isn't too bad, because most of the people that I deal with understand why I have done the thing I have done and why I've made the decision I did.

The reason I don't feel shame is Twofold.  One I've always had a disability, one that is neurologic and muscular skeletal in nature, so there are certain things that may not work the best, or it might not work as well as other people's legs arms or whatever. This is basically a given. Deal with disabilities or anything that we are dealt with in very specific ways and we deal with the challenges differently, but the thing that we all have to realize is that our disabilities are part of who we are and what we are, and once we can figure out how to take care of our disabilities or our shortcomings in an appropriate way, we then beat the disability, as people should realize that one of my mantras is I may have a disability, but it does not have me.

Part of having a disability is accepting certain things that may pop up. It was extremely lucky that for 46 years I was able to maintain continents most of my life, but there were several times in my life when incontinence would rear its ugly head, or cause me issues. Because I am so used to the fact that there are people who are disabled and maybe incontinent, or may have other issues that they're dealing with that concern their disability, I am very sympathetic and empathetic to many situations and many people's struggles. One of the things that I always used to worry about was whether someone was gonna find out when I would have an accident, or whether I was wearing a diaper or whatever else, this is when I was a kid, because peer pressure and all of those types of things are very strong motivators. When you're a kid, you grow up, and then you may for example have a disability or something that makes it harder for you to grasp a specific task or to be able to complete it, it might take you longer to train than others, and sometimes what happens is peer pressure can be effective if a person really wants to learn, but sometimes peer pressure can be in the negative.

I figured this way if I need diapers I need diapers! no one else is going to have to put up with what I have to put up with, other than myself because I'm the one that deals with changing myself and making sure I'm clean and all of this, but there's nothing more embarrassing than to have wet pants or wet shorts or wet something or other because you aren't wearing the proper protection or you're not watching how what your diaper is. Sometimes even in the best of situations your diaper can overflow, and you can leak, and that's a given. I am not ashamed and never was ashamed of the fact that I would have to wear diapers at some point. wearing  them on and off all of my life, some of the time during the time I was six to 10 years old, in rehab centers where they would basically have you fully mobile and walking, and by the next week or so they'd have you in your chair independent on it, and then they wouldn't allow you to get up, so they would be lazy, so you wouldn't be able to get up, and then after you wet your bed several times, outcome the diapers. Because of this type of situation, It became normalized for me to wear diapers because of the fact that I couldn't get up, or I couldn't move fast enough, even when I showed them that I was fully capable of doing it.

So I learned to adapt, because of the place that I was being taken care of in was kind of like an internal hell.  Much like many people on DD, diapers help people in many ways shapes and forms, some of them say that diapers help them keep them safe, and away from the world that's so bad, well in my case my diaper keeps me dry, and safe, and I don't have to worry about anything anymore, because wearing diapers is expected and acceptable, and no one's gonna say much, because this is the way I wish to deal with the problem.

The shame and the embarrassment in all of this is based on current norms and acceptable practices. If people would just understand that people need to wear diapers for a variety of reasons, and they wouldn't be so quick to snap judge against someone wearing diapers, then acceptance of wearing diapers would be not as bad, and it would be as common as wearing regular underwear. Warren is going to question your underwears choice unless they can see that you're wearing diapers for some reason in common because they always equate wearing a diaper to being a baby,incontinent, or disabled. I can tell you That norms an acceptable practices have changed over the years, and if people would be just more Accepting an open minded, wearing a diaper would be no big deal because no one would have to call attention to it which would make wearing a diaper is common is wearing a pair of glasses because you need them to see. Need a diaper to be able to help you so that you don't make a mess. There's a reason for both pieces of equipment

At my age I have learned many things that I've learned stress is the major problem in most people's lives. If you can eliminate most of the stress in your life, most of your life will be pretty easy. That doesn't necessarily mean that your life is going to be a cakewalk but if you relieve all of your stress and you try to eliminate stressful situations as much as possible it's a lot easier to deal with. One thing that I've also learned is that being incontinent should not stress you out, and it shouldn't be a big deal, but I know there are people that worry about it. If I use a diaper I use a diaper. 24/7, I have accepted it, I embrace it, and that is because I figure that it is time that I realize that not only am I a DL and IC, But that also procrastinating and waiting so long makes it so that it took me longer to get to the realization that I need diapers for more than just incontinence. They help me with stress they also help me with feelings and urges that I've always had, and they help me deal with it in an appropriate manner.

So no, I am not feeling shame nor do I feel shame about wearing diapers. Wearing diapers is the way I decided to deal with the situation that I would probably end up losing the battle over anyway, so why not just be prepared for it. Once I accept it or and had accepted it, then you can add the pieces that you need of the lifestyle that you want to use, and you can then make something that may be mundane like wearing diapers everyday and does something fun, because even when you're wearing diapers you always like to have fun, so why not have awesome looking cute diapers and things like that to make it easier on yourself. Let the stress out and let it go, because I'm telling you that is 90% of many people's problem the stress is almost ridiculous sometimes!

I've also told people that kids that are dealing with bedwetting Go through many things, and as I've learned, young kids bodies aren't fully developed yet, and some people still have problems with bed wetting into their teens and 20s or even later than that. Because of that necessary precautions need to be taken, and normally are. There are some people that can outgrow bedwetting, Well some people deal with it well into adulthood. Nothing to be ashamed of, diapers help you in many ways. There are also other ways that people may choose to deal with the situation, but in my case I'm not feeling shame, I actually feel relieved because I can wear diapers and they help me and more ways than one exclamation

Brian

[Rue Rue]

I am so glad that there is a bedwetting topic here! 

I dont feel shame when I wake up wet so long as I just wet my diaper. I had a diaper leak and that embarrassed me. The wet diaper didn't, though. 

[wetmonkey]

It has definitely been a journey to self-acceptance but I no longer feel shame about my wetting. Needing protection of some kind is part of my daily life like eating or drinking water. When I first started wetting the bed nightly back in 2018 I was embarrassed, humiliated and full of deep shame. But through support groups online, friends, and an astounding therapist I feel as confident as ever knowing I won't wet myself in bed or in the day.

Is it embarrassing to have some people discover my diapers? Sure, but way less so then wetting myself in public or waking up in a soaked bed.

 

 

[rusty pins]

Frankly, I think a person should feel much more ashamed of themselves if they know they will wet in their sleep but decide not to wear a diaper or some protection and wet their bed, sheets and mattress (especially if you have a partner sleeping in the same bed with you).  It's also not fair if you make your wife wash and dry the sheets and bedding.

[deewet]

Well said Rusty Pins!

[BabyJune]

Better out than in.

[Rue Rue]

Yes, I feel ashamed while cleaning up my mess especially. My peers have probably long lost the feelings associated with waking up in a wet bed, much less in a wet diaper or sleeping for a short while and wetting their underwear a bit and changing it throughout the day when they see the damage. I get ashamed especially around my friends. Sometimes, I am hanging out and I leak because of my injury.. I don't always wear a diaper.. but I just excuse myself and think, don't my friends think I am gross for my wet spot? How can they not laugh at me? 

I have a very special friend who knows and she never calls me out, but she knows I need to shower like Pronto in the morning and privacy to change. She leaves me a change of sheets and soap and stuff. Even when I had an accident I forced her to let me wash my bed sheets myself. She is really one of a kind and is one of my only friends who made me feel accepted and not rejected. I always fold my sheets when I come spend the night at her house because she knows. ❤ And I'd do anything for her as a friend. 

The fact she and I chat, she is married, she says come over with my pissy self and all, she loves me enough to look past that like the friends we are and not shame me is one thing that when I remember it, makes me feel just awesome.