The Urge Never Goes Away

[wetkn0t]

In my wayward college days I was an absolute DL fanatic.  Whenever I was sharing a residence with someone (roommate, partner, family etc) it was mitigated by opportunity but that didn't stop me from indulging frequently.  I pushed boundaries of risky wearing I wouldn't dream of today like going to class diapered or non-offensively using in public spaces.  I also used to be into wetting generally, although diapers were far and away my favorite.  I got into a long term relationship, got older, got a job with a long commute, got busy... and diapers were no longer a major player in my life.  I have been wearing/wetting every three months or so, partly because my spouse works from home and partly because I just didn't have the inclination with so much going on in life.  Because of my constraints I sadly haven't messed in at least six months.  I still use DL/wetting/messing material for masturbatory purposes, though!  ?

After an unrelated medical process recently I was advised to start taking psyllium husk for overall health.  It's been less than a week and I have to tell you that with the added fiber bulk the urge to wear and mess is back a hundredfold.  I know many DL's go through a use/purge cycle and we come to accept the waves.  I was very happy to have it all come 'crashing back' and to know that I still had the spark for it!  Unfortunately for me my spouse still works from home... but I'm locked and loaded for an opportunity to try again!  Meantime, that 'full' sensation has my libido on overdrive daily and my imagination running.

Wanted to celebrate a bit with like-minded folks and encourage those going through a purge or downtime cycle in their DL or AB experience that there can absolutely be an upswing at the end of the tunnel!

[incondl]

I’m so glad I’ve never experienced the purge cycles. It sounds conflicting and stressful. From the moment I started messing I’ve never turned back. I’ve never questioned it and focused my attention to managing it. It would cause me too much stress to ever change it so I don’t. 

[rusty pins]

I would say the urge to wear can go away and for many it does.  The thing is, it usually always comes back weather that happens a few days later, weeks or even months later. 

[le Hollandais]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I would say the urge to wear can go away and for many it does.  The thing is, it usually always comes back weather that happens a few days later, weeks or even months later. 

I have experienced exactly that. Last time I diapered up, I had a good two days all to myself. At the end of the first day, I felt like I'd had enough.

[DaveeBEd]

I went through many kinks/fetishes before finally embracing the fact that I'm gay and with all of them the urge/purge cycles came and went. I was in my 30s before I finally realised I'm a D/L and the same urge/purge thing happened with that. Over the last few years the periods of wearing have gradually increased in duration with a few failed attempts at becoming IC and wearing for extended periods of up to 3 weeks at a time. A few months ago I finally decided to not deny this any longer and I''m now just completing 4 months on the 12 month programme. I still have moments of self doubt wanting to tear the diaper off but I am persisting so far.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I don't think the urge has ever gone away with me, and to be honest I have never purged. I like using my diaper and i love the feeling of a fully loaded diaper. The feeling I get when my diaper is full and dirty just makes it that much more difficult for me to even think of purging. I don't consider it wrong at all to love messing my diaper, and if someone can prove otherwise, diapers it is for me. Even as a 12 year old girl the feeling of a pooped diaper under my jeans was heaven. I couldn't wait to get home sometimes to play with my growing body and exploring my wild side.

[incondl]

9 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

I don't think the urge has ever gone away with me, and to be honest I have never purged. I like using my diaper and i love the feeling of a fully loaded diaper. The feeling I get when my diaper is full and dirty just makes it that much more difficult for me to even think of purging. I don't consider it wrong at all to love messing my diaper, and if someone can prove otherwise, diapers it is for me. Even as a 12 year old girl the feeling of a pooped diaper under my jeans was heaven. I couldn't wait to get home sometimes to play with my growing body and exploring my wild side.

Closing in on 6 years now I’ve never one time considered stopping. I’m doubtful I could. Those who binge and purge must be so conflicted about it. My suggestion would be to stop & just give in as you already know how good it feels each time it happens. For me the 2-3 times per 24 hour period leaves me with many hours with a filled diaper. Managing it is simple and nobody knows. I also do not consider it wrong but moreso the right thing to do. 

[Ginger]

how do you KNOW it is the right thing to do? I feel I NEED to do it. But worry sometimes that it is wrong or that something is wrong with me for having this never ending need... but Iove it so

[incondl]

On 4/20/2020 at 1:13 PM, Ginger said:

how do you KNOW it is the right thing to do? I feel I NEED to do it. But worry sometimes that it is wrong or that something is wrong with me for having this never ending need... but Iove it so

This is the million dollar question. How do you know you need it? It must be something from deep within. When you don’t you know something is somehow not right but when you do you feel satisfied and as if it was the right thing to do. That’s how it is for me. And no it’s not wrong for you as it may be for others. You certainly are not hurting anyone. If this truly is something you need/want then keep it up regardless of what you think others may think about it. It’s not about them. It’s all about you.

[Transfusionelle]

I say if it feels right do it. I started off with just wearing my diaper at work because of long periods on my feet and little time for breaks, and the peeing felt great and on winter nights it warmed me up. Then The first time I pooped is when I got sucked in hook line and sinker. It's been a good twenty years and i don't think I can say no to a full diaper. It just feels so good. The urge is always there when you look forward to making a bigger mess the next time out.