Wearing for longer times and it's effect on me, and some questions

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Merry Christmas! I'm off for the holidays and have ample time to explore my baby side.  So a little report on my last few days and some questions for you.

So my wife knows all about my diapers, and has never really approved.  About 1.5 years ago I told her I was also into cross dressing, which she does approve of.  I don't get fully dressed up around her but she seems totally OK with me wearing dresses around the house and she likes buying me makeup and clothes.  So this winter she's been buying me Pajamas including a floor length nightgown, and a two different union suits. We have a large basement and a whole area is devoted to my girl clothes which are just out in the open and ABDL stuff which stays hidden. 

So I realized that I could wear diapers under the union suits and nightgown and it was unnoticeable.  Thursday night wife and I had wonderful sex and then I put on a diaper and my onesie pajamas.  I struggle to fall asleep in a diaper, I always have, it's like my brain is on speed and I just lay there.  I took some sleeping pills and I think maybe got about 3-4 hours of sleep.  I wore a diaper to work friday, but a Walgreens diaper without any kind of stuffer is practically useless so I didn't use it.  On the way home I stopped to do some Christmas shopping and bought some Pampers Baby Dry size 6 to use as stuffers.   It's been a long, long time since I'd bought Pampers and the smell was just heavenly, I used one as a stuffer on the way home and soaked it.  

I put on my chastity cage under my diaper Friday afternoon and again had trouble falling asleep.  Maybe a few hours of sleep.   Spent Saturday locked and in diapers and used them.  Had to change twice.  Saturday afternoon I begin feeling weird, like dehydrated, dizzy, and started getting headaches.  Wife works Sunday mornings so Saturday night when I did my bedtime change I put on a Crinklz with a booster and a Pampers soaker.  Saturday night I slept better but still not well.  Wife went to work early Sunday morning  and I didn't change, there was no need because the Crinklz didn't even seem wet.

Sunday I spent the day in baby bliss, listening to hypno, and drinking bottles.  I keep wetting and  the Crinklz just kept swelling and feeling better and better.  By mid afternoon I had decided that I was going to spend the rest of my life in diapers.  Every movement seemed to feel like a little orgasm in my cage.  I was actually kind of feeling weird, maybe a Adult Baby overdose.  Eventually the Crinklz began to leak a bit and I put on a cloth diaper over it and a super cute diaper cover and just kept wetting and waddling around the house playing with toys and talking pictures, feeling more dizzy and weird as the day went on.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and got out the wand.  In a few minutes I went cummies in my cage.  Just a few minutes later I felt horrible, so ashamed, so weird, and so pathetic.  I was so ticked at myself for the lack of control, and just felt horrible.  I removed the cage and said no more diapers.  Sunday night I slept incredibly well, felt more normal Monday. Today was the first time I've been back in diapers and locked.

So here are the questions.  No need to answer all of them, just any you have feedback on.  I super duper appreciate it!

1.  Sleeping diapered:  Benedryl seems to help me fall asleep, but it doesn't seem like a deep sleep and I wake up many times throughout the night.  Without a diaper I hit the pillow and am out.  I'm guessing if I kept at it I'd eventually get better. 

2.  Bedwetting and volume of pee:  I think part of the problem of falling asleep is fear of wetting the bed.  Here's the crazy thing, if I'm not diapered I fall sleep and cats wake me up around 4 or 5.  I feed them and pee, it usually isn't a huge amount.  I usually lay on the couch for a bit and check the internet and pee once more around 6:30 before leaving for work.  If I'm diapered for bed I found myself awake and wetting around midnight, then again around 2, then again around 3.  Seemed like I had to pee all night long.  Can't say it was a horrible experience but I felt like I was peeing way more then usual and I ended up dehydrated.  Does wearing diapers make you pee more?

3.  That blissful feeling:  I felt so perfectly and wonderfully happy until I had an orgasm after only 2 and a half days without one.  But I was also starting to feel really weird, I think it was dehydration, but I just felt loopy, mild headache, and just really tired, probably not enough sleep too.   I really wanted to not do it, but everything just felt so incredibly sensitive and good that just walking across the house would have me fall to my knees and start humping the floor.   Can you keep that feeling from overwhelming you?  Do you ever get the point where an orgasm doesn't seem to ruin your baby bliss?

 

[Elenwen]

Can't answer the last two questions, but with the first one it's because you aren't used to wearing a diaper to bed. It was about the same with ke, when I tried switching to cloth diapers. I wasn't used to their thickness, so I couldn't fall asleep, but as soon as I changed into a disposable, I'd be asleep in a moment. You probably will be able to get used to it, but in my case, I decided to keep using disposables instead of switching to cloth.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

8 hours ago, diaperchucky said:

Merry Christmas! I'm off for the holidays and have ample time to explore my baby side.  So a little report on my last few days and some questions for you.

So my wife knows all about my diapers, and has never really approved.  About 1.5 years ago I told her I was also into cross dressing, which she does approve of.  I don't get fully dressed up around her but she seems totally OK with me wearing dresses around the house and she likes buying me makeup and clothes.  So this winter she's been buying me Pajamas including a floor length nightgown, and a two different union suits. We have a large basement and a whole area is devoted to my girl clothes which are just out in the open and ABDL stuff which stays hidden. 

So I realized that I could wear diapers under the union suits and nightgown and it was unnoticeable.  Thursday night wife and I had wonderful sex and then I put on a diaper and my onesie pajamas.  I struggle to fall asleep in a diaper, I always have, it's like my brain is on speed and I just lay there.  I took some sleeping pills and I think maybe got about 3-4 hours of sleep.  I wore a diaper to work friday, but a Walgreens diaper without any kind of stuffer is practically useless so I didn't use it.  On the way home I stopped to do some Christmas shopping and bought some Pampers Baby Dry size 6 to use as stuffers.   It's been a long, long time since I'd bought Pampers and the smell was just heavenly, I used one as a stuffer on the way home and soaked it.  

I put on my chastity cage under my diaper Friday afternoon and again had trouble falling asleep.  Maybe a few hours of sleep.   Spent Saturday locked and in diapers and used them.  Had to change twice.  Saturday afternoon I begin feeling weird, like dehydrated, dizzy, and started getting headaches.  Wife works Sunday mornings so Saturday night when I did my bedtime change I put on a Crinklz with a booster and a Pampers soaker.  Saturday night I slept better but still not well.  Wife went to work early Sunday morning  and I didn't change, there was no need because the Crinklz didn't even seem wet.

Sunday I spent the day in baby bliss, listening to hypno, and drinking bottles.  I keep wetting and  the Crinklz just kept swelling and feeling better and better.  By mid afternoon I had decided that I was going to spend the rest of my life in diapers.  Every movement seemed to feel like a little orgasm in my cage.  I was actually kind of feeling weird, maybe a Adult Baby overdose.  Eventually the Crinklz began to leak a bit and I put on a cloth diaper over it and a super cute diaper cover and just kept wetting and waddling around the house playing with toys and talking pictures, feeling more dizzy and weird as the day went on.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and got out the wand.  In a few minutes I went cummies in my cage.  Just a few minutes later I felt horrible, so ashamed, so weird, and so pathetic.  I was so ticked at myself for the lack of control, and just felt horrible.  I removed the cage and said no more diapers.  Sunday night I slept incredibly well, felt more normal Monday. Today was the first time I've been back in diapers and locked.

So here are the questions.  No need to answer all of them, just any you have feedback on.  I super duper appreciate it!

1.  Sleeping diapered:  Benedryl seems to help me fall asleep, but it doesn't seem like a deep sleep and I wake up many times throughout the night.  Without a diaper I hit the pillow and am out.  I'm guessing if I kept at it I'd eventually get better. 

2.  Bedwetting and volume of pee:  I think part of the problem of falling asleep is fear of wetting the bed.  Here's the crazy thing, if I'm not diapered I fall sleep and cats wake me up around 4 or 5.  I feed them and pee, it usually isn't a huge amount.  I usually lay on the couch for a bit and check the internet and pee once more around 6:30 before leaving for work.  If I'm diapered for bed I found myself awake and wetting around midnight, then again around 2, then again around 3.  Seemed like I had to pee all night long.  Can't say it was a horrible experience but I felt like I was peeing way more then usual and I ended up dehydrated.  Does wearing diapers make you pee more?

3.  That blissful feeling:  I felt so perfectly and wonderfully happy until I had an orgasm after only 2 and a half days without one.  But I was also starting to feel really weird, I think it was dehydration, but I just felt loopy, mild headache, and just really tired, probably not enough sleep too.   I really wanted to not do it, but everything just felt so incredibly sensitive and good that just walking across the house would have me fall to my knees and start humping the floor.   Can you keep that feeling from overwhelming you?  Do you ever get the point where an orgasm doesn't seem to ruin your baby bliss?

 

1.  This I have previously shared with you but the only answer is it takes time.  Your senses have to get accustomed to the feeling of the thick padding between your legs.  Eventually your mind will see your diaper as normal and you will honestly barely even feel you are wearing one.  Until then it is honestly sensory overload.

2.  You are going pee pee the same amount but you are going more often.  Since the feeling of your diaper is keeping you awake your mind is telling you everytime you feel the need to potty to go since you are diapered.  If you were actually sleeping better your body would simply be holding your pee pee longer unconsciously.  Many of us experience a greater sensation to constantly empty our bladders as soon as we are padded.  This is a mental thing...your brain is telling you your protected so pee pee.

3.  Yes, one day you will simply masturbate into your diaper and go about your business afterwards without any desire to remove your diaper.  When this will happen is completely unknown.  For me this was this hardest hurdle to wearing diapers permanently.  Luckily for me I asked my wife to force me back into diapers after I reached an orgasm.  If she would have known that I would become actually diaper dependant I am not sure if she would have helped me through this hurdle.   

[Guilyn]

I think the first two questions have been answered well by others but I'll give my two cents on the third question.  I use to have the same problem, the moment I hit my climax I was ready to be out of a diaper, this is normal I have learned for many ABDLs.  When I became incontinent it was no longer a choice if I wore diapers I had to wear them, it didn't matter if I climaxed I had to wear a diaper at all times.  After a few weeks it became completely normal to climax in my diaper and then go back to whatever I was doing like nothing happened, it just takes time.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Thanks for the feedback, and Mark I know I've been stuck on this sleeping thing for a long time.  

So I have this theory, and tell me if you think I'm crazy.  I believe that when I'm diapered my body is producing dopamine.  One of dopamine's effects is increased urine output.  My whole life I've followed a standard routine, wear diaper, wet diaper, whack off.  The longer I can prolong the whack off part, the more intense the overall experience becomes.  If for whatever reason the diapers come off before the whacking stage then the whole thing seems to be reset, but if I avoid the whacking but stay in diapers the intensity grows.  After three days of diapers and no sexual release I felt like I was spent, exhausted, and almost disconnected from things.  I really don't think it can be healthy. 

I'm also sure that if I continued to wear my body would gradually get used to this, but here's the question.  If you're not incontinent and you become used to it do you even continue to want to be diapered?

Here's another question, something really weird happened today, I was diapered for awhile earlier then changed into some tighter and firm underwear that felt kind of like a diaper.  Later I couldn't remember if I was wearing a diaper or not and almost wet myself.  Is that a common experience after more prolonged time diapered.  

[oznl]

1.            I think you’ve answered your own questions.   When I was younger and had something resembling a sex drive, I could look forward to a lousy night sleep if in a nappy.  Now, absolutely NOT the case and I will sleep deeply and soundly when wet.  I will generally get a BETTER night sleep because without a diaper, I will usually wake up around 4am and try to ignore the fact that I need to pee meaning that I at best doze.  If I get up, that’s it, I’m awake.  If I’m diapered, I will just pee upon stirring and fall back asleep.

2.            Not sleeping well will make you pee more at night.  When sleeping, your body releases vasopressin, an anti-diuretic hormone which inhibits urine production.  You can google it.  I originally thought this was driven by circadian rhythm but I recall seeing some evidence that it is triggered by REM sleep.  This is pretty convenient if you’re not interested in bedwetting.

3.            I don’t know sorry but I can report that with creeping middle age, my attraction to diapers has (as it was in my early childhood), largely de-coupled from sex.  One notable exception is that the physical sensual stimulation of a warm wet diaper down there can trigger interesting dreams sometimes.  I don’t mind at all.  What’s the worst that can happen right?  A slightly wetter diaper?

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

1 hour ago, diaperchucky said:

Thanks for the feedback, and Mark I know I've been stuck on this sleeping thing for a long time.  

So I have this theory, and tell me if you think I'm crazy.  I believe that when I'm diapered my body is producing dopamine.  One of dopamine's effects is increased urine output.  My whole life I've followed a standard routine, wear diaper, wet diaper, whack off.  The longer I can prolong the whack off part, the more intense the overall experience becomes.  If for whatever reason the diapers come off before the whacking stage then the whole thing seems to be reset, but if I avoid the whacking but stay in diapers the intensity grows.  After three days of diapers and no sexual release I felt like I was spent, exhausted, and almost disconnected from things.  I really don't think it can be healthy. 

I'm also sure that if I continued to wear my body would gradually get used to this, but here's the question.  If you're not incontinent and you become used to it do you even continue to want to be diapered?

Here's another question, something really weird happened today, I was diapered for awhile earlier then changed into some tighter and firm underwear that felt kind of like a diaper.  Later I couldn't remember if I was wearing a diaper or not and almost wet myself.  Is that a common experience after more prolonged time diapered.  

Will you still desire to be diapered once the novelty has worn off and you are not incontinent?  This answer lies only with you.  For me, before experiencing signs of actual physical incontinence from unpotty training I definitely felt a mental dependancy.  It is as if you almost feel naked without padding on.  Your mind definitely is the key and everyone's mind is different.  It is quite possible that you could lose the desire to wear diapers and decide to enter a purge cycle.  When it comes to your desires to wear diapers you might not know until the day after.?.

Yes, prolonged diaper wearing trains your concious mind to wet, wet, and wet again.  Eventually it can become an unconscious reaction.  Since being in diapers permanently for over a year I tried exactly twice to take my diapers off.  The first time I felt as if I needed to sit on the potty every five minutes and within an hour my wife told me to simply put my diaper back on.  The other time I actually started to wet my pants and was back into diapers almost immediately.

[Galaxie 66]

Diaperchucky ,I know exactly how you feel and feel it's a pretty common tie that binds us all .

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Hi guys, quick update.

So I stayed chaste all day while alone on Christmas and took off diapers that evening while wife and I visited family for Christmas. No diaper that night or next day. Sorry if this is too much info, but it's relevant I think.   Next day I was unbelievably horny and wife had sex with me.  It wasn't all that exciting for her as I came in about 1 minute.  Seriously had no control and couldn't stop it.  But I was able to stay hard and give her an orgasm so I didn't feel like a total loser.  

So Wednesday night I slept in a diaper and slept well, with the aid of a dose or two of Nyquil.  Thursday we went on a shopping road trip, I didn't wear a diaper and I really wished I had.  About an hour into the car ride I had to pee really bad, should have stopped, but we were almost there, traffic got bad and I started freaking out.  I actually started sweating and I came close to wetting my pants, really close. THing was  I peed right before we left.  

Thursday night slept diapered again with cloth diaper but no cage and no leaks and slept great.  Found myself awake around 3AM and wet then fell right back asleep.

Friday night spent day diapered including a 3 mile hike with my family, last night another cloth diaper and another morning of wonderful sleep.  

I think the cage was making things worse and I've stopped wearing it, I was getting sore.  The cage is kind of dumb anyway.  It came with 3 rings, with the third smallest I can still get the cage off, though it hurts and it generally hurts to wear.  My penis gets incredibly small when flacid.  With the smallest ring I can't get the cage off but it's to uncomfortable wear.  Of course this is a 14 dollar knock off design so maybe that's why.  This morning I caught myself masturbating and stopped, so I'm thinking I may not need it anyway.  

Thanks for all the tips and advice.