Strange days indeed - a 24 x 7 experiment

[oznl]

16 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I imagine ordering things in from Canada would be insanely expensive for you

Yes!  And furthermore, it is AMAZINGLY SLOW!!  I have both DL and non-DL experience with this.  Ordering from Babykins is at once breathtakingly expensive in terms of shipping and also a challenge in future demand planning because whatever I order will arrive two to three MONTHS later!  Canadian friends have given up trying to send presents to my kids for milestone events because they habitually turn up the year afterwards.  Presumably they are dispatched by seal-skin canoe.

Yes, the C$ and A$ long term have been worth pretty much the same although the A$ is currently doing it's justly famous impersonation of a South Pacific Peso by diving down to C$0.88 because China has caught a cold.

12 hours ago, Amber's Boy said:

So around six months ago, I read your story.  Just this weekend, I reread, and got current.  I'm glad I did.  I just want to let you know, that while i appreciate you sharing your journey with us, what i really come back for is your writing.  I think if someone else shared the same exact events, it wouldn't be anywhere near as interesting.  Best of luck to ya, and I hope you keep it up.

Thank you!  It's nice to know people read it.  So far I plan to keep it up. 

16 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

 it would be very complicated to say "Cheerio, have a good life", based strictly on my desire to wear infantile underwear. I still don't know what I would have done if my wife had said "it's the diapers or me", because blowing apart my domestic situation would be catastrophically expensive, both socially and in monetary terms. But, at the same time, I don't know that I can imagine living a life without diapers.

I am trying very hard to navigate around this.  I'm not sure who I'd sit on the back deck and eat cheese and drink wine with otherwise.   We'll have to see.  I'm wondering if there are yet more marital storm clouds on the horizon.  There was a barbed comment tossed tonight before she headed out to gym.

Concentrating on the problems I know I CAN fix, still not sure on ABU L vs XL.  Maybe I should just embrace the fact that I'm built like a VW beetle and get a pack of XL on the assumption that too big is less of a problem than too small.

[ozziebee]

Oh, so LDU has fresh stock now? Awesome! I wonder if he has the XL Betterdry?

[oznl]

5 hours ago, ozziebee said:

Oh, so LDU has fresh stock now? Awesome! I wonder if he has the XL Betterdry?

Yes, fresh stock.  I messaged him about a week ago and he told me that the container was due in back on the 15th and he'd be shipping the next week.  He also said he had small and XL.  I just don't know why the price hike is 10 x inflation.  I will ask him when I see him. 

[ozziebee]

Gee, a case is quite exxy now!  So I ordered two of them!  I was getting quite worried that he wouldn't get stock in before I needed a refill (which would have been in about a month's time).  Am a happy little camper now... Do you know what Crinklz XL he has?  I couldn't see them on the LDU Website.

[Newbee]

Yes I noticed the price hike too and I wasn’t too thrilled about it. I wear crinklz all the time.

[oznl]

1 hour ago, Newbee said:

Yes I noticed the price hike too and I wasn’t too thrilled about it. I wear crinklz all the time.

 

8 hours ago, ozziebee said:

Gee, a case is quite exxy now! 

Yes, this price hike is completely out of kilter with both inflation and currency (unless they are priced in US$ rather than Euro or something crazy).   This is why I'm thinking about defecting to ABU Simple.  The case price for them is way better and they are also allegedly a 5000ml capacity product.

If I end up going up there to get a case anyway, I'll ask him about the Crinklz.

[oznl]

Well, the US work trip that I’d been planning has been deleted by my company due to COVID-19, aka “Coronavirus”.  Hotel and flight bookings have been cancelled, itineraries shredded, plans abandoned and my large suitcase is back in its rightful place gathering dust on a high shelf.

It’s a bit disappointing.  On the one hand, my resolve to stay in nappies through such a major international event had triggered a plethora of low-level diaper anxieties related to TSA checks, hotel logistics, supplies, managing changes in a high pressure/low time corporate environment (takes “change management” to a whole new level!) conflated with my general loathing of long-haul air travel.

On the other hand, if I put aside my abhorrence of the process of GETTING to the USA, I’m perfectly happy once I’m there.  I know lots of friendly faces there, craft beer is excellent and cheap, you can get chilli flavoured Doritos and they speak 95% the same language.  What’s not to like?  I also would have gotten to try out a bunch of nappies (diapers I guess) that can’t be bought here in Australia.  It would also have been nice to have a holiday from the heat.  Oh well…

The decision itself whilst an obvious target for reductio ad absurdum argument, as it was about keeping Australians out of the USA to protect the US from COVID-19, does make a kind of sense viewed in its context of a global corporation proposing a global symposium.  I’m not personally terrified of COVID-19.  I’m fortunate to have learned friends who are wise in the way of viral propagation and they are slightly bemused by the degree of panic although it is clearly not a flu to be underestimated.  Flu can kill.

There is talk about re-scheduling the event later in the year but my travel budget for this is largely gone in low-cost non-refundable airfares (as per corporate policy) so we shall have to wait and see.

Perhaps in reflection of the general “End of the world is nigh!” zeitgeist, I’ve found my own levels of nappy enthusiasm flagging just a little.  Don’t panic!  I’m not about to go foraging around for my underwear just yet but there has been that internal talk track of “Just what do you think you’re doing to yourself?” abrasively rubbing away at my mind.  The other piece of social sandpaper is my beloved spouse and her unrelenting Mahatma Ghandi style of passive resistance applied to her husband's nappies.  Yet another front is that after a very long time on some stable kind of diaper-dependency plateau, there are hints here and there emerging that I may no longer be as much in control of things as I think I am and that’s in addition to waking up to find wet night nappies that I can’t remember wetting.  A long way from incontinent but perhaps no longer 100% continent.  The worst of all worlds in some ways.

I’ve read from the reports of others of similar periods of self-doubt a year or so in and I’m intensely wary of taking permanent measures against temporary problems.  Accordingly, my plan is to “punch through” and stay in nappies at least until I’ve clocked up a full year of uninterrupted diaper usage (although I’ve been 24/7 for around 14 months, a 4-week break means that I’m only approaching 11 months of contiguous wearing).  I also know myself well enough that coming out of nappies would likely catapult me back to a headspace I don’t ever want to be in again.

When my one year “shift” is done in a few weeks, I might road-test myself and see if everything is still working ok down there though. 

[Little Sherri]

14 hours ago, oznl said:

I’m fortunate to have learned friends who are wise in the way of viral propagation and they are slightly bemused by the degree of panic although it is clearly not a flu to be underestimated.  Flu can kill.

Here in Canada, we got hammered by SARS, so everyone is on high alert about COVID-19, though, as you correctly point out, neither SARS, nor, likely, COVID-19, will kill anywhere near as many people as the flu will this year, or, for that matter, as many people as will taking-selfies-whist-driving, or the unwise positioning of ladders. I ended up getting quarantined for SARS because of the job I had at the time. It's too bad I wasn't in diapers back then; it would have been a great excuse to lounge around all day in something big and comfy for two weeks. 

14 hours ago, oznl said:

When my one year “shift” is done in a few weeks, I might road-test myself and see if everything is still working ok down there though. 

This is probably worth doing. I road-test myself two or three times a week when I go to the gym, and so far the results are pretty conclusive - I can go 90 minutes without issues, although I do have to somewhat concentrate on it, in so far as it is now relatively easy to relax and just let things happen. It's almost the inverse of when I started on this road, when I had to remind myself that I was in a diaper, otherwise I would unthinkingly go a couple of hours without "going", and then when the urge came on, I'd have to engage in careful positioning in order not to overwhelm my under-infrastructure. 

Assuming COVID-19 doesn't kill our travel plans, I am going to be facing an extended test-drive in a few months, in the form of a trip to the UK with some buddies, wherein we will be changing venue every couple of days, sharing hotels rooms, and pretty much backpacking around for a week. I can't think of how I could possibly either carry enough nappies, or, arrange to get some there, without being found out. My current barely-conceived plan is to carry enough of my smallest nappy to get me through the nights, and if it hasn't been pushed beyond reason, on any given morning, to continue to wear it throughout the next day, and to cheat and use the loo here and there to extend them as far as possible, while also packing some boxer shorts that I can put on over top. 

I haven't experienced any serious degree of nagging doubts about my path, beyond nagging doubts about my existence in general, anyway - wearing diapers all the time seems about as futile and pointless as most everything else I get up to, but that's the human condition, isn't it? At least I derive some joy from my underpants, which is more than I think most people can say, so, like drinking craft beer, I will continue to do it, with some care but also some determination. You've been at this longer than I have - I'll be one year in about a month - so I wonder if what you're feeling is in the future.

Even if you decide to take a break, I hope you continue writing - at this point you're a bit like a newspaper columnist I've come to follow. Cheers.  

[rosalie.bent]

19 hours ago, oznl said:

Well, the US work trip that I’d been planning has been deleted by my company due to COVID-19, aka “Coronavirus”.  Hotel and flight bookings have been cancelled, itineraries shredded, plans abandoned and my large suitcase is back in its rightful place gathering dust on a high shelf.

It’s a bit disappointing.  On the one hand, my resolve to stay in nappies through such a major international event had triggered a plethora of low-level diaper anxieties related to TSA checks, hotel logistics, supplies, managing changes in a high pressure/low time corporate environment (takes “change management” to a whole new level!) conflated with my general loathing of long-haul air travel.

On the other hand, if I put aside my abhorrence of the process of GETTING to the USA, I’m perfectly happy once I’m there.  I know lots of friendly faces there, craft beer is excellent and cheap, you can get chilli flavoured Doritos and they speak 95% the same language.  What’s not to like?  I also would have gotten to try out a bunch of nappies (diapers I guess) that can’t be bought here in Australia.  It would also have been nice to have a holiday from the heat.  Oh well…

The decision itself whilst an obvious target for reductio ad absurdum argument, as it was about keeping Australians out of the USA to protect the US from COVID-19, does make a kind of sense viewed in its context of a global corporation proposing a global symposium.  I’m not personally terrified of COVID-19.  I’m fortunate to have learned friends who are wise in the way of viral propagation and they are slightly bemused by the degree of panic although it is clearly not a flu to be underestimated.  Flu can kill.

There is talk about re-scheduling the event later in the year but my travel budget for this is largely gone in low-cost non-refundable airfares (as per corporate policy) so we shall have to wait and see.

Perhaps in reflection of the general “End of the world is nigh!” zeitgeist, I’ve found my own levels of nappy enthusiasm flagging just a little.  Don’t panic!  I’m not about to go foraging around for my underwear just yet but there has been that internal talk track of “Just what do you think you’re doing to yourself?” abrasively rubbing away at my mind.  The other piece of social sandpaper is my beloved spouse and her unrelenting Mahatma Ghandi style of passive resistance applied to her husband's nappies.  Yet another front is that after a very long time on some stable kind of diaper-dependency plateau, there are hints here and there emerging that I may no longer be as much in control of things as I think I am and that’s in addition to waking up to find wet night nappies that I can’t remember wetting.  A long way from incontinent but perhaps no longer 100% continent.  The worst of all worlds in some ways.

I’ve read from the reports of others of similar periods of self-doubt a year or so in and I’m intensely wary of taking permanent measures against temporary problems.  Accordingly, my plan is to “punch through” and stay in nappies at least until I’ve clocked up a full year of uninterrupted diaper usage (although I’ve been 24/7 for around 14 months, a 4-week break means that I’m only approaching 11 months of contiguous wearing).  I also know myself well enough that coming out of nappies would likely catapult me back to a headspace I don’t ever want to be in again.

When my one year “shift” is done in a few weeks, I might road-test myself and see if everything is still working ok down there though. 

Sorry to hear you lost your OS trip. But your journey to 24/7 is not atypical. You are finding you are starting to wet at night without awareness and that will only increase. Also, day wetting will begin to occur when you are in nappies. You may find you are dry when not in nappies but wet by accident when you are in them. Eventually however, time out of nappies will be risky. I know what you mean about your 'non-nappy-wearing headspace'. Ive seen that in action and I wouldnt wish it on anyone. Only you know yourself, but reading your missives, it is apparent that you need to b 24/7 for your sanity and emotional well-being. I understand that your wife is not exactly a supporter, but you may need to do this anyway just to be able to handle life. Personally, I dont get it, but I've seen a truly dramatic difference in my own hubby/baby that the inconvenience of nappies and babying is worth the improved relationship and happiness.

Best of luck on your journey.

[oznl]

18 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I haven't experienced any serious degree of nagging doubts about my path, beyond nagging doubts about my existence in general, anyway - wearing diapers all the time seems about as futile and pointless as most everything else I get up to, but that's the human condition, isn't it? At least I derive some joy from my underpants, which is more than I think most people can say, so, like drinking craft beer, I will continue to do it, with some care but also some determination. You've been at this longer than I have - I'll be one year in about a month - so I wonder if what you're feeling is in the future.

Even if you decide to take a break, I hope you continue writing - at this point you're a bit like a newspaper columnist I've come to follow. Cheers.  

I'm not sure that I’m about to take a break but on the other hand, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure that this monologue is NOT simply a cheerleader’s sonata about how fabulous it is to preferentially urinate in absorbent underwear relative to the toilet.

In the interest of trying to accurately chronicle what actually happens when an adult decides to wear (and use) nappies in stark rebuttal to potty training, I’ve very much attempted to keep it “warts and all”.  Part of that “warts and all” zeitgeist is that sometimes, just sometimes (perhaps when we realise that we may have, yet again, dampened an auspicious item of clothing or furniture), we pause and think to ourselves, “just WTF do you think you are doing?”

I’d go so far to say that if one is accepts an alternate narrative maintaining that the path forward is unending, rose-petal-strewn and dappled in sunlight then either the reader., the author (or possibly both) has their metaphysical “hand on it” ?  My interest here is to tell it like it really is.  At least for me.

Doubt happens, life happens.  Not every day do we fall into our day nappies with unalloyed joy of a toddler entering a baked-bean based food fight.  That seems to be a part of it.  And yet, we tape on another nappy and (to use shamelessly QLD vernacular), “Bundy on!”

Writing is in my DNA.  It seems like I HAVE to do it.  I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.  I just might not have anywhere to post them. 

Dulce et decorum!  Time for a change before bed!

And, by the way, thanks for reading...  It's so much better than considering the alternative that I am writing missives to oblivion!

[oznl]

I’m just going to briefly go off on a tangential rant here.

I went to Costco today.  If it helps preserve some semblance of DD relevance, I was in a slightly wet Molicare Elastic under Gary PUL waterproofs.  Thusly attired, I went to Costco.

I went there because I live near Costco and I go there every other Sunday to buy enough toilet paper to deal with the third world’s dysentery.

Today however was feral.

Yes, COVID-19 is a virus.  Yes, it may become a pandemic (if it isn’t already).  Yes, the Government suggested we should keep a few days food on hand in case of disruption to freight and logistics.

This is NOT the end of the world people.  It is NOT NECESSARY to panic-buy.  This was NOT a national call for the entire population to descend upon Costco like some plague of giant-trolley-wielding-locusts and engage in shopping cart-to-shopping cart battle for the rapidly-dwindling store of parking spaces and groceries.

This isn’t like Y2K where society collapsed and it was necessary for survivalists to shoot marauding bands of starving citizenry from their bunkers illuminated with home-generated-power searchlights whilst collapsed governments stood by impotently, oh wait, that didn’t happen either…

And, just a small point here, if it WERE necessary to panic buy groceries.  Go for the stuff that has shelf life.  Bottled water, tinned food and preserves are good.

It would be a desolate monument to the accomplishment of mankind if the last to live died after fighting over the remnants of a cake-shaped-like-a-doughnut the size of Homer Simpson’s liver…

[Shotgun Diplomat]

8 hours ago, oznl said:

a cake-shaped-like-a-doughnut the size of Homer Simpson’s liver…

But I NEED IT!! The end is nigh, the reckoning is upon us. Rapture has come, and Ragnorok has been called. I need my Doughnuts!

[Little Sherri]

On 2/28/2020 at 5:22 PM, rosalie.bent said:

Also, day wetting will begin to occur when you are in nappies. You may find you are dry when not in nappies but wet by accident when you are in them

A complete accidental wetting during the day still has not occurred as far as I can tell - when one is wearing a modern nappy that is midway through it's usable service life, the question of if one has wet it from any particular moment to the next, is similar to the question about the fate of Schrodinger's cat. But up to now, I've never put on a dry diaper and then been surprised to find out that I've wet it at some point, other than if I'm wearing it overnight. 

However, I did have an experience again this past weekend that I've had a couple of times before, and that was a bit disconcerting; I felt an urge to go, so I did what I usually do, and provided clearance to drop the gates. I happened to be standing in front of our bathroom sink, brushing my teeth - and, as discussed previously, this timing is not uncommon. Once I finished brushing, I decided to test the bulk of the front of my diaper via a quick pat, and when I put my hand there, I could feel "activity" - the motion of liquid. I was not pushing and I did not feel like I was going at all. I had a quick look, and I was indeed producing a small continual trickle. Once I was staring at it, I became aware of it, but up until that moment, it seemed that, having initially "allowed" a transfer to commence, the works down there had gone on autopilot and stopped reporting up the chain of command. 

[oznl]

Today is the 401^st day of my 24/7 diapered life although thanks to last year’s March trip, I’m just starting month 12 of uninterruptedly damp underwear.

Last week’s regrets on my choices seem to have again moved to the back of the room and I never seriously considered commencing the hunt for my grown-up underwear.  Regret is a permanent house-guest in my mind anyway.  It will be back.  I have some envy for those who can take a stand on something and having done so, banish those nagging doubts about whether the view might have been better by taking that stand somewhere else.  I seem condemned to the draughty discomfort of an open mind.

Sometimes I wonder if my elevating interest toward diaper dependency is just a way of muting my dissenting voice of regret.  Regret is the cousin of indecision.  Diaper dependency removes the decision from my conscious mind and I know that I can mentally navigate that which I cannot change (although I may reserve the right to complain about it).

Speaking of dependency, I remain quite confident that during the day at least, my conscious mind remains in charge but there have been some inexplicable things suggesting change.  I’ll see what (if anything) develops and report back.

On the domestic front, I have yet again unintentionally annoyed my wife.

Daunted by the recently-radically-escalated cost of BetterDry nappies, I’ve been casting about for alternatives and on the advice of others, I thought I’d give “ABU Simple” a try.  These are actually available in Australia, an important point in my circumstance. 

Local vendor offering "same year" delivery?  Check!

Discrete packaging?  Check!

Accept delivery instructions to leave under carport?  Check!

Estimated day of delivery?  Check!

Excellent, I could time the delivery for my “work from home” day and in case that failed, have the delivery placed discretely out of site and sheltered from the ravages of tropical weather under our carport.  I’ve never ordered an ABDL nappy before, using as I do, a highly reliable, discreet and predictable medical vendor.  I ordered a single pack which is an eye-wateringly expensive way to buy them but if they work, the case price is more reasonable.

Best laid plans of mice and men…

Arriving home from work today (the day BEFORE estimated delivery date), my wife in the car with me (we car pool), I swing into the Ponderosa driveway to find the sinking western sun reflecting off a a brilliant white package, exactly the size, shape and weight of one of the packs of adult nappies she hates so much,  placed, not discretely out of sight under the carport as I requested, but almost ceremoniously, on display in the middle of the paved turning circle of our driveway.  I’d imagine there were people on the International Space Station having a look at it out their windows.

“I’ll grab that!” I volunteered, leaping from the car, “You grab the mail” (the letterbox being at the other end of the driveway).

No dice…  “What’s that…” she said in exactly the tone of voice that did not suggest an altruistic seeking of information but rather someone who felt her partner should at once get the mail himself AND destroy the shiny white package with a flame-thrower whilst he was in the business of being useful.

“Oh, just some of MY stuff” I replied.

Her gaze narrowed and her face hardened, lips compressed into what I fondly like to think of as “Chook’s arse configuration”.  Nothing further was said.  For some time.

I’ll try the ABU Simple on the weekend.  If they are any good, I’ll order a case.  With my luck so far, I expect a case will be delivered via drone with Mariachi band and local TV networks in attendance whenever I least expect it and the rest of the street are out mowing the lawns.

(Just to be fair here, the screw up was entirely due to the courier.  My delivery instructions were faithfully printed on the label which had been utterly disregarded and the delivery date was also of the courier’s nomination).

[rosalie.bent]

8 hours ago, oznl said:

Today is the 401^st day of my 24/7 diapered life although thanks to last year’s March trip, I’m just starting month 12 of uninterruptedly damp underwear.

 

Last week’s regrets on my choices seem to have again moved to the back of the room and I never seriously considered commencing the hunt for my grown-up underwear.  Regret is a permanent house-guest in my mind anyway.  It will be back.  I have some envy for those who can take a stand on something and having done so, banish those nagging doubts about whether the view might have been better by taking that stand somewhere else.  I seem condemned to the draughty discomfort of an open mind.

 

Sometimes I wonder if my elevating interest toward diaper dependency is just a way of muting my dissenting voice of regret.  Regret is the cousin of indecision.  Diaper dependency removes the decision from my conscious mind and I know that I can mentally navigate that which I cannot change (although I may reserve the right to complain about it).

 

Speaking of dependency, I remain quite confident that during the day at least, my conscious mind remains in charge but there have been some inexplicable things suggesting change.  I’ll see what (if anything) develops and report back.

 

On the domestic front, I have yet again unintentionally annoyed my wife.

 

Daunted by the recently-radically-escalated cost of BetterDry nappies, I’ve been casting about for alternatives and on the advice of others, I thought I’d give “ABU Simple” a try.  These are actually available in Australia, an important point in my circumstance. 

 

Local vendor offering "same year" delivery?  Check!

Discrete packaging?  Check!

 

Accept delivery instructions to leave under carport?  Check!

 

Estimated day of delivery?  Check!

 

Excellent, I could time the delivery for my “work from home” day and in case that failed, have the delivery placed discretely out of site and sheltered from the ravages of tropical weather under our carport.  I’ve never ordered an ABDL nappy before, using as I do, a highly reliable, discreet and predictable medical vendor.  I ordered a single pack which is an eye-wateringly expensive way to buy them but if they work, the case price is more reasonable.

 

Best laid plans of mice and men…

 

Arriving home from work today (the day BEFORE estimated delivery date), my wife in the car with me (we car pool), I swing into the Ponderosa driveway to find the sinking western sun reflecting off a a brilliant white package, exactly the size, shape and weight of one of the packs of adult nappies she hates so much,  placed, not discretely out of sight under the carport as I requested, but almost ceremoniously, on display in the middle of the paved turning circle of our driveway.  I’d imagine there were people on the International Space Station having a look at it out their windows.

 

“I’ll grab that!” I volunteered, leaping from the car, “You grab the mail” (the letterbox being at the other end of the driveway).

 

No dice…  “What’s that…” she said in exactly the tone of voice that did not suggest an altruistic seeking of information but rather someone who felt her partner should at once get the mail himself AND destroy the shiny white package with a flame-thrower whilst he was in the business of being useful.

 

“Oh, just some of MY stuff” I replied.

 

Her gaze narrowed and her face hardened, lips compressed into what I fondly like to think of as “Chook’s arse configuration”.  Nothing further was said.  For some time.

 

I’ll try the ABU Simple on the weekend.  If they are any good, I’ll order a case.  With my luck so far, I expect a case will be delivered via drone with Mariachi band and local TV networks in attendance whenever I least expect it and the rest of the street are out mowing the lawns.

 

(Just to be fair here, the screw up was entirely due to the courier.  My delivery instructions were faithfully printed on the label which had been utterly disregarded and the delivery date was also of the courier’s nomination).

 

That was a funny read and you certainly have a good way with words. Yes, couriers can be the bane of our existence at times. One of our ABU deliveries *apparently* came while we were at home with car in the drive, but rather than knock on the door, they 'discreetly' left them stashed in a corner of the house where we never go and it was only after an email advising us that they had been delivered that we had to search for them.

it doesnt need to be THAT HARD!

Your indecision is different to my baby. She embraced 24/7 with a fervour - as did I - once I saw the dramatic improvement in her mood and general well-being. 

I hope the new nappies work out well.

[oznl]

53 minutes ago, rosalie.bent said:

That was a funny read and you certainly have a good way with words. Yes, couriers can be the bane of our existence at times. One of our ABU deliveries *apparently* came while we were at home with car in the drive, but rather than knock on the door, they 'discreetly' left them stashed in a corner of the house where we never go and it was only after an email advising us that they had been delivered that we had to search for them.

it doesnt need to be THAT HARD!

Your indecision is different to my baby. She embraced 24/7 with a fervour - as did I - once I saw the dramatic improvement in her mood and general well-being. 

I hope the new nappies work out well.

Thank you for your thoughts and thanks for suggesting the ABU Simple in the first place.  Today is and tonight are "cloth" times but I'll try one tomorrow.  If it can survive Saturday, I'll make the call if I want to chance one for a workday next week.

I realise that there isn't an IQ test imposed on couriers but since they have to walk PAST the car port to get to either the front door or turning circle, it's not as though leaving a package where the instructions said would have been any more difficult than arranging it as an art installation in the middle of an empty and visible-from-street pavement.  It even got rained on a bit (double-bagged, no damage)  I guess I don't think (or should that be "fail to think") like a courier.

As for my indecision, it's not that I am unsure what I want.  I know that I want to stay in nappies.  I just worry that by doing so, I will rot away the love that my partner has for me and we'll either be another sad old ex-couple living in separate penury or a sad old ex-couple living under the same roof on a perpetual cold-war footing:  a fairly bleak range of scenarios.

[BedWetMark]

9 hours ago, oznl said:

Today is the 401^st day of my 24/7 diapered life although thanks to last year’s March trip, I’m just starting month 12 of uninterruptedly damp underwear.

 

Last week’s regrets on my choices seem to have again moved to the back of the room and I never seriously considered commencing the hunt for my grown-up underwear.  Regret is a permanent house-guest in my mind anyway.  It will be back.  I have some envy for those who can take a stand on something and having done so, banish those nagging doubts about whether the view might have been better by taking that stand somewhere else.  I seem condemned to the draughty discomfort of an open mind.

 

Sometimes I wonder if my elevating interest toward diaper dependency is just a way of muting my dissenting voice of regret.  Regret is the cousin of indecision.  Diaper dependency removes the decision from my conscious mind and I know that I can mentally navigate that which I cannot change (although I may reserve the right to complain about it).

 

Speaking of dependency, I remain quite confident that during the day at least, my conscious mind remains in charge but there have been some inexplicable things suggesting change.  I’ll see what (if anything) develops and report back.

 

On the domestic front, I have yet again unintentionally annoyed my wife.

 

Daunted by the recently-radically-escalated cost of BetterDry nappies, I’ve been casting about for alternatives and on the advice of others, I thought I’d give “ABU Simple” a try.  These are actually available in Australia, an important point in my circumstance. 

 

Local vendor offering "same year" delivery?  Check!

Discrete packaging?  Check!

 

Accept delivery instructions to leave under carport?  Check!

 

Estimated day of delivery?  Check!

 

Excellent, I could time the delivery for my “work from home” day and in case that failed, have the delivery placed discretely out of site and sheltered from the ravages of tropical weather under our carport.  I’ve never ordered an ABDL nappy before, using as I do, a highly reliable, discreet and predictable medical vendor.  I ordered a single pack which is an eye-wateringly expensive way to buy them but if they work, the case price is more reasonable.

 

Best laid plans of mice and men…

 

Arriving home from work today (the day BEFORE estimated delivery date), my wife in the car with me (we car pool), I swing into the Ponderosa driveway to find the sinking western sun reflecting off a a brilliant white package, exactly the size, shape and weight of one of the packs of adult nappies she hates so much,  placed, not discretely out of sight under the carport as I requested, but almost ceremoniously, on display in the middle of the paved turning circle of our driveway.  I’d imagine there were people on the International Space Station having a look at it out their windows.

 

“I’ll grab that!” I volunteered, leaping from the car, “You grab the mail” (the letterbox being at the other end of the driveway).

 

No dice…  “What’s that…” she said in exactly the tone of voice that did not suggest an altruistic seeking of information but rather someone who felt her partner should at once get the mail himself AND destroy the shiny white package with a flame-thrower whilst he was in the business of being useful.

 

“Oh, just some of MY stuff” I replied.

 

Her gaze narrowed and her face hardened, lips compressed into what I fondly like to think of as “Chook’s arse configuration”.  Nothing further was said.  For some time.

 

I’ll try the ABU Simple on the weekend.  If they are any good, I’ll order a case.  With my luck so far, I expect a case will be delivered via drone with Mariachi band and local TV networks in attendance whenever I least expect it and the rest of the street are out mowing the lawns.

 

(Just to be fair here, the screw up was entirely due to the courier.  My delivery instructions were faithfully printed on the label which had been utterly disregarded and the delivery date was also of the courier’s nomination).

 

ABU simples were my go-to nappy for about the last 18 months.  Secure, absorbent, not massively expensive and a nice fit.  However I had a couple of cases where the right hand side or left hand side would come undone, leaving fluffy padding floating around.

To be fair, they replaced the cases free and sorted me out, but I got dubious about the quality vs cost, so I've switched to Tykables and I couldn't be happier.  All the new Tykables range follow the same pattern and hook & loop system.  I've not had one failure or duff nappy.  Yes the are more expensive, but as I wear for genuine need at night, I'd rather pay for the extra security they give.

The one other nappy I do like is the good old Rearz Safari. They take loads of liquid, they are thick, they crinkle.  What's not to like.

But I hope your ABU simples are a better batch than the last few I had.

Incidentally, I tried the new ABU hook and loop nappies and didn't like them.  The designs were far too busy and the plastic was weird and oily feeling. No thanks. 

 

[oznl]

8 minutes ago, BedWetMark said:

ABU simples were my go-to nappy for about the last 18 months.  Secure, absorbent, not massively expensive and a nice fit.  However I had a couple of cases where the right hand side or left hand side would come undone, leaving fluffy padding floating around.

To be fair, they replaced the cases free and sorted me out, but I got dubious about the quality vs cost, so I've switched to Tykables and I couldn't be happier.  All the new Tykables range follow the same pattern and hook & loop system.  I've not had one failure or duff nappy.  Yes the are more expensive, but as I wear for genuine need at night, I'd rather pay for the extra security they give.

The one other nappy I do like is the good old Rearz Safari. They take loads of liquid, they are thick, they crinkle.  What's not to like.

But I hope your ABU simples are a better batch than the last few I had.

Incidentally, I tried the new ABU hook and loop nappies and didn't like them.  The designs were far too busy and the plastic was weird and oily feeling. No thanks. 

 

Thanks.  I'm not sure where you're based in the world but here in Australia, choices are limited.  Where products ARE available, they are often at price-gouging premiums relative to larger markets.  As I wear 24/7, it's a fairly significant cost and I suspect that if my partner had clear visibility into this cost, there could be additional friction (even though I earn most of the household money, it's highly likely that she will finish up the breadwinner for a period of time as my industry loathes older workers and we are first in line for lay-offs).  Experimenting away from BetterDry is entirely a cost thing.  I've been perfectly happy with BetterDry.

There's also the AB thing.  If she sees "AB", I think that could be a drama as well.  I think Tykables would likely fail that test.  The advantage of those ABU Simples is that they can pass for "normal" nappies.  The supplier thoughtfully included some AB stickers (if I was so inclined) at no charge but I think not.  I'll take the Chupa-Chup they threw in though ?

[rosalie.bent]

19 minutes ago, oznl said:

Thank you for your thoughts and thanks for suggesting the ABU Simple in the first place.  Today is and tonight are "cloth" times but I'll try one tomorrow.  If it can survive Saturday, I'll make the call if I want to chance one for a workday next week.

I realise that there isn't an IQ test imposed on couriers but since they have to walk PAST the car port to get to either the front door or turning circle, it's not as though leaving a package where the instructions said would have been any more difficult than arranging it as an art installation in the middle of an empty and visible-from-street pavement.  It even got rained on a bit (double-bagged, no damage)  I guess I don't think (or should that be "fail to think") like a courier.

As for my indecision, it's not that I am unsure what I want.  I know that I want to stay in nappies.  I just worry that by doing so, I will rot away the love that my partner has for me and we'll either be another sad old ex-couple living in separate penury or a sad old ex-couple living under the same roof on a perpetual cold-war footing:  a fairly bleak range of scenarios.

I am glad you are aware of the consequences to your relationship and taking it seriously. If only that were more common. That said, your wife could be a bit more positive. Ive told countless parents and partners... "It's only nappies! Think what else it could be!" To me that seems rational, but I've also been on the other side, but once I saw the incredible positive changes that went with open 24/7 nappies, I would never choose the alternative. 

19 minutes ago, BedWetMark said:

ABU simples were my go-to nappy for about the last 18 months.  Secure, absorbent, not massively expensive and a nice fit.  However I had a couple of cases where the right hand side or left hand side would come undone, leaving fluffy padding floating around.

To be fair, they replaced the cases free and sorted me out, but I got dubious about the quality vs cost, so I've switched to Tykables and I couldn't be happier.  All the new Tykables range follow the same pattern and hook & loop system.  I've not had one failure or duff nappy.  Yes the are more expensive, but as I wear for genuine need at night, I'd rather pay for the extra security they give.

The one other nappy I do like is the good old Rearz Safari. They take loads of liquid, they are thick, they crinkle.  What's not to like.

But I hope your ABU simples are a better batch than the last few I had.

Incidentally, I tried the new ABU hook and loop nappies and didn't like them.  The designs were far too busy and the plastic was weird and oily feeling. No thanks. 

 

I think every diaper has occasional manufacturing faults. We had tykables where every diaper had a loose bottom right tab. We jjust taped it over pre-emptively and no dramas. Its not like a failed safety pin in a cloth nappy when they suddenly open.. THEY CAN HURT!  It might make me laugh, but I shouldn't!

[BedWetMark]

9 minutes ago, oznl said:

Thanks.  I'm not sure where you're based in the world but here in Australia, choices are limited.  Where products ARE available, they are often at price-gouging premiums relative to larger markets.  As I wear 24/7, it's a fairly significant cost and I suspect that if my partner had clear visibility into this cost, there could be additional friction (even though I earn most of the household money, it's highly likely that she will finish up the breadwinner for a period of time as my industry loathes older workers and we are first in line for lay-offs).  Experimenting away from BetterDry is entirely a cost thing.  I've been perfectly happy with BetterDry.

There's also the AB thing.  If she sees "AB", I think that could be a drama as well.  I think Tykables would likely fail that test.  The advantage of those ABU Simples is that they can pass for "normal" nappies.  The supplier thoughtfully included some AB stickers (if I was so inclined) at no charge but I think not.  I'll take the Chupa-Chup they threw in though ?

I'm in England - luckily we do seem to have a variety of retailers who stock up on all options.

 

I hear you though, the cost is higher than a medical nappy.  My wife doesn't know that I spend extra on these, but the bed is dry and because they're so good, I continue to wear during the day at weekends or when working from home with no worries.  Although my using of them during the day is hidden too, as I've said before.

 

I actually thought she'd blow up about me wearing Tykables, but I braved it.  One morning while getting ready for work in the morning I stripped off to jump in the shower, whilst in the bedroom and walked to the bathroom wearing just a wet Tykables Unicorn.  I was waiting for the "WTF are you wearing?" but nothing came.  So I've stuck with them.  And now I've added the Tykables booster pads to prolong my usage.  Actually, about a month ago we were both ill for a week with some crappy flu-like illness (no, not the current craze) and I wore Unicorns 24/7 for the entire week.  Not once did she bat an eyelid.  But then the following week I was told off for leaving a "thing" out and not hidden.  Sigh. 

[oznl]

41 minutes ago, rosalie.bent said:

 "It's only nappies! Think what else it could be!"

LOL, perhaps the title of your next book?  Or maybe "At least he's not a serial killer!"...

36 minutes ago, BedWetMark said:

 But then the following week I was told off for leaving a "thing" out and not hidden.  Sigh. 

A quick check shows that Rearz Safari IS available in Australia but the delivered cost for a pack works out at a burp-inducing £2.50 per nappy.  We call this "The Australia Tax". 

I was amused by recourse to the versatile indefinite article "thing"...  My wife calls them "things"...  I would have held her responsible for that particular piece of Orwellian newspeak but in fact, I've caught myself doing it to demilitarise a discussion.  Example: when confronted with what is obviously a freshly delivered packet of nappies on the driveway, I describe them as "MY things"..

[Stroller]

10 hours ago, oznl said:

My wife calls them "things"...

And mine too, although she's coming round to using more realistic terms for everything.  It's a bit difficult to hold a conversation about any of this when one party to the conversation will only use the word 'thing' for nappy, dummy, mattress cover, bottle etc, and even meets and the whole ABDL scene!

[DL-Boy]

I guess I'm pretty lucky then...  My wife at least calls my diapers, "DIAPERS".  She attends ABDL Munches and other events with me and doesn't have any issue with my wearing around the house in her presence.  She's not into it as a caregiver or participating Mommy but she accepts it.  Perhaps it is that she has perspective since she has been wearing pull-ups for years due to OAB along with both urge and stress incontinence.

[rosalie.bent]

On 3/6/2020 at 7:53 PM, Stroller said:

And mine too, although she's coming round to using more realistic terms for everything.  It's a bit difficult to hold a conversation about any of this when one party to the conversation will only use the word 'thing' for nappy, dummy, mattress cover, bottle etc, and even meets and the whole ABDL scene!

Been there, done that as well.  You make an important point that any degree of acceptance requires your partner to correctly describe the objects and activities. It is one of those maor steps where we as partners, accept the existence of NAPPIES and BOTTLES and DUMMIES and even harder, the existence of a regressed infant inside the adult.

It's a bit step.

[Little Sherri]

On 3/8/2020 at 10:19 PM, rosalie.bent said:

You make an important point that any degree of acceptance requires your partner to correctly describe the objects and activities. It is one of those maor steps where we as partners, accept the existence of NAPPIES and BOTTLES and DUMMIES and even harder, the existence of a regressed infant inside the adult.

It's a bit step.

My wife has said the that-which-shall-not-be-named word ("diaper"), a couple of times, but it's very infrequent, and always surprises me when it happens. Usually she either says nothing about them at all, or she says "those" and either points to the one I'm wearing, or points to the bottom drawer in my dresser, which is where I keep the ones for immediate use. She has never said "dummy" or "pacifier". 

 

On 3/5/2020 at 5:59 PM, oznl said:

A quick check shows that Rearz Safari IS available in Australia but the delivered cost for a pack works out at a burp-inducing £2.50 per nappy.  We call this "The Australia Tax". 

I'm lucky enough to be able to pick up at Rearz, and I've chatted with the owner - maybe we should look into what sending a container over would cost? Safari's are great, although they are not a discrete nappy, at least not on me. 

Your story about the ABU's being left on the driveway, @oznl, is hilarious. It seems like the guy went that extra mile in pursuit of specifically ignoring your instructions.  I got a package of nappy samples from a medical supply company last year, in pursuit of finding a slim daytime diaper I could buy by the case lot, and the website promised discrete packaging - which they delivered on - but, there was a big customs sticker applied to the top of the box that said "Contents: adult diapers". That was the first and only time I've had anything shipped, although I have moved from paying cash at Rearz (which you can no longer do, anyway), to paying with my credit card. So far my wife has not asked me about any of the charges, but I suspect that if she drilled down on it, I'd be wearing cloth diapers a lot more often, at least around the house.