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Strange days indeed - a 24 x 7 experiment


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Like Freta, I too use the toilet as a means of saving capacity and costs, just not always. In the mornings with my coffee flushing through me and the vacant bathroom a few steps away it's the better choice for me; I could overflow a premium diaper easily in well under an hour then. And TBH I like wearing my wet nighttime diaper most mornings so to avoid drips and puddles, it's an 'either/or' decision. Since I shower soon after it's no problem.I also use the toilet a few times at work most days, though the results are variable. It's not really "cheating", I can and have been diapers-only for long times too.

You should make a portable "crash bag" that you can toss in whatever car you're using if one isn't there permanently. Something innocent-looking like a cloth grocery bag tossed onto the seat or floor where you'll see it easily when you get back home. You really have to consider which "evil" is best here- an unfixable public leak and wet car seats or the hassles involved. 

I too got some weird feelings from my bladder when everything began settling into my new 'normal'.I think that it was my sphincters trying to figure out what to do; I know what a detrussor spasm is having had those all my life and this was different. In time those faded away, and everything down there somehow felt 'calmer' and better. As long as nothing gets worse andcthere's no other indications of problems I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Same as with anything we each have our own wishes and paths, and all will vary. As long as you do what's best for you everything works out in the end B)

Bettypooh

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As we head into week 9 (two months in a few more days!), things have mostly remained at something of a plateau.  I’ve had exactly zero more of those little bladder-quivers (and I counted them twice!) so I think “bladder spams” have NOT been a thing.  I continue to alternate between phases of nearly-automatic nappy use and “day 1” style conscious control with little predictable pattern.  My night nappies cause me the least worry and inconvenience.

On the work front, I’ve remained in my stable routine. Nappy changes, washing, rubbish disposal routines are all nailed and I remain smell free, rash free and (largely) leak free.  It seems that 24x7 means that there is almost inevitably a small damp patch somewhere from time to time.  I actually leaked a little yesterday – usual spot, rear of thigh, but upon analysis, I’d done a poor job aligning the tapes on one side of my BetterDry and it was riding high on the back of one thigh, allowing a bit of wee to seep out.

On the home front, my partner has been doing a pretty good job of ignoring my underwear for the last week and her mood has been normal.  This is as much as I can reasonably ask for. 

I moved my collection of plastic pants out of hiding at the bottom of a hamper into my underwear drawer as it was just too hard ferreting around for them all the time.  To make room for this, I moved a bunch of my underwear into the bottom of the hamper where the waterproofs came from (it’s not like I’m using them at all right now).  I doubt she is impressed with that but nothing has been said and bad luck.  They are my drawers.

There would have been really nothing to report if it wasn’t for the bedwetting incident Wednesday night…

Mmm, yes...

It was a perfectly routine evening:  I’d changed into my night nappy combo and gone to bed (with the AC on yet again – this summer has been a real grind).  Having been to gym earlier and having had a sneaky mid-week glass of wine or two, I fell asleep very quickly (in general, I’m sleeping better since reverting to nappies).  I’d assume that I would have allowed myself to dribble a little in that nappy in the 20 minutes or so between last change and bedtime but I don’t really recall and I’m largely unaware of “wet” these days.

At 1am, EITHER I stirred and instantly peed OR, I stirred because I was already peeing.  I don't know for sure.  As I awoke I immediately realized I needed to urinate and was simultaneously surprised by the sensation of warm liquid spreading across my pubic area before trickling down my perineum to soak into the seat of my diaper.  I was in fact already peeing.

I’m honestly not sure what happened here.  If I wet AFTER waking, it must have reflexively started the instant I awoke.  Certainly the level of “waking up” needed to pee has been reducing but on this occasion, the realization that I was awake, and that I needed to pee, and that I was peeing myself all seemed to happen at the same time.  If I had started in my sleep, it may have been to do with the vaguest recollection I have of some kind of “I need to pee” dream but I don’t have clear recall.

In any case, in contrast to what I may have done some months ago, I did not panic and clamp off the flow pending a nappy-and-position-check (am I REALLY wearing a nappy? Am I in a leak-safe position?).  I just lay there and let it finish, tapering off into dripping that presumably stopped at some indeterminate point.  I believe this is because by now I have high confidence that I won’t leak in bed and by default, I'm in nappies.  My double-terry lined Babykins vinyl pants are awesome at catching leaks and in any case, I’m not peeing small volumes frequently which makes flooding unlikely.  I poked quickly with my fingers down beneath my thighs, verified dry sheets and swiftly fell back asleep.

This isn’t quite a first for me.  Several years ago I had some similar experiences towards the end of a couple of months where I either wore nappies or practiced bedwetting EVERY night.  I’m actually a little surprised that it has taken this long for this phenomenon to reappear given that this time I’m in nappies 24x7 and NEVER pee in a toilet.

If history is to be repeated, this will happen again in the coming weeks but not reliably.  It is of considerable regret to me that my window for 24x7 use will likely close before I can find out what happens if I ignore this cue and just keep sailing.

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On leaks, they don't happen with a properly-fitting diaper until it's soaked. It sounds to me like you should try different lower taping techniques and see if that helps. I've worn several different style diapers which had more capacity then my preferred Moli's that leaked long before my Moli's (and Tena's) would which is why I think that fit matters most with capacity second to that ;) SAP's don't absorb quickly, only thoroughly, so you need the waterproof fit to give them time to work. Even with my laissez-faire attitude toward leaks I'd still rather avoid them. In time leaks will get noticed by someone who you might not wish were the one discovering them :huh: 

Sleep is a gray area where you can be semi-awake without realizing it as long as nothing triggers a fuller waking. I drift between knowing I'm awake just before the stream begins to being more awake before realizing I need to pee then instantly letting go and relaxing back to sleep instantly, sometimes not being awake when the stream finishes. And once in awhile I wake to discover I'm soaked with no memory of that whatsoever :girl_happy:I don't place any value on any of that as long as my waking is no more than momentary, because more than that ruins my good night's sleep :(

The most important part of any of this is to be happy with whatever is happening, even if you want to go further. If you're happy and relaxed your journey will be faster and easier :biker_h4h:

Bettypooh

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Well here we are:  two whole months of 24x7 nappies with ZERO meaningful holding lapsed earlier this week and I'm off into month #3.

Where am I now?  Still on a bit of a plateau really.

Physiologically:  Well, in what might be a disappointment for some, I don’t think I’m incontinent!   Not even nearly.   All episodes of urinating have commenced with either active or at least passive approval.  There have been some “borderline” pees at night but I’m pretty sure that at least my sub-conscious was on-board with the fact that I was suitably protected and that it was therefore “ok”.   Having said that, I think that is IS possible to “un-train” oneself through some kind of sphincter atrophy and I can see the early stirrings of this.

There certainly HAVE been physiological changes that I have noticed though and I think these are due to disuse of certain muscles and the formation of new habits.  There are possibly also more changes that I have NOT noticed but may become obvious when I go back out of nappies for a while.

  • ·         I’m actually struggling to remember NOT wearing nappies.  On the odd occasion where I may spend a few minutes out of one, I feel strangely naked down there.  The bulk of a nappy between my legs is the new normal.

  • ·         I have no particular sensation of “wet” at all in my pants (in either cloth or disposable).  I’m nearly always warm and wet so it just feels normal.  I evaluate my need for changing by weight and time.

  • ·         My pee stream is slower and weaker now.  A micturition event (such as they happen given that I don’t allow any significant build-up) is divided into 2 – 3 adjacent “bursts” which will dissipate into prolonged dripping and dribbling unless I make a conscious effort to “clench”.  I need to stop and think to clench before getting off the toilet (for #2) or I am likely to drip on the floor.  “Co-incidental” pees that occur in the shower or whilst dealing with #2 on a toilet can take more time than I have and sometimes I just choose to let them finish in my nappy so I can get on with my day.  I suspect upon cessation, peeing in a toilet might be quite time consuming for a while.   On the odd gym session, I have inadvertently dripped into my underwear shortly after changing out of a nappy for a brief workout although this quickly settles down.

  • ·         It is VERY easy to start peeing and hard to pause (I only found out the latter this week).  The slight tingling sensation at the tip of my penis that is kind of the last cue that some pee is about to come our arrives almost simultaneously with actual pee and can feel a little muted.  Once a pee flow has started, clenching to stop it is does not work like it used to.  I can slow the flow but I will still at least dribble for a little while.  If I started having an accident, I think my pants would be visibly wet by the time I was able to stop.

  • ·         I wet frequently at night in bed:  generally 2 – 3 times around 2 hours apart although due to the aforementioned stream strength, the quantity of pee is probably normal.  Sometimes I can clearly remember peeing, other times I will have a hazy recollection.  On the odd occasion, I suspect I fall back asleep still peeing.  On these occasions, I can remember stirring and DECIDING to pee but I can’t actually remember doing it or finishing but my nappy is wet and my bladder empty.  As per daytime however, I don’t believe I have ever wet unintentionally although there has been ONE incident where I experienced a surprise wetting.

I really don’t know how my bladder “cruise range” is faring because I’ve not attempted to exercise it.  The longest I’ve been out of nappies has been around 50m and by the end of this time, I invariably have a low level urge to pee.

From a psychological perspective, after two months where am I?

  • My preference for nappies has not abated.  There has been the odd day here and there where I’d thought to myself that things might be easier if I just pulled on some underwear that this view was NEVER enough to subvert my primary intent which was to remain in them.  I view my upcoming and unavoidable “disrobing” with some degree of depression.  Clearly, my 24/7 thing is no idle fantasy.

  • I am competently managing my nappies.

  • I can see that I could actually do this if I was willing to put up with my partner’s pressure.

  • I have learned (and perhaps begun to accept) that I am strangely attracted to the idea of drifting off into incontinence – possibly because a formal diagnosis would provide justification and assuage guilt.

There is hard stuff I’ve yet to deal with:

  •           A catastrophic leak in public with family members or colleagues (although I’ve had just PLENTY of non-catastrophic leaks although the “wee running down right leg” at the mall was close to catastrophic!)

  •          A catastrophic leak in bed (dealing with a partner or even worse, a hotel)

  •          Dealing with a nappy rash (can’t believe I’ve dodged that bullet through a Queensland summer)

  •           A holiday in nappies with my partner

  •          Staying over at a house that is not mine in nappies

  •          Having a conversation with a medical practitioner explaining why I’m in a nappy if I got to a point where I truly needed them (and I think it *would* based on what I've seen so far)

Where is my long-suffering partner?  She’s still around.  I can’t say she’s happy but the tantrums have stopped.  Any reference I make to my nappies is completely ignored.  It is a complete conversation-killer so I don't tell and she doesn't ask. That’s ok.  I sought and expect only tolerance.  I’m not sure how to have the conversation that after my return to Australia in April, I would like to go back into nappies…  I think I have decided NOT to have that conversation and we will see how 4 weeks of “drying out” in late March/April goes…

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Hi onzl

thank yourself lucky you have dodged the nappy rash bullet I wish I could say the same the heat here in oz this summer has been awful. 

Even though I have no choice but to wear I understand that naked feeling when you don’t have a nappy on I must say I don’t like that feeling. 

I think the fact that you are unable to stop peeing once you have started might been a sign that things are going in the direction of incontinence, I think you are going to have to be very mindful of the fact when you have to stop wearing your nappies for 4 weeks that you don’t have one on.

 I’m happy to hear that your partners tantrums have stopped but I’m still sad for you that she won’t even discuss nappies with you. I admire you for going through with this even though you don’t have her support as it’s what you want and it’s whats making you happy.

keep us updated

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I have suspected for some time now that continence can be described as a sine wave of indeterminate amplitude. Why do I say this?  

 

It seems that a loss-of-continence milestone is reached from time to time, but then one’s continence appears better, or the loss hits a plateau, only for another milestone to hit and suddenly one finds they’ve lost/unlearnt a bit more. 

 

Like you hear in medical shows the classic “1 step forward 2 steps back”. 

 

Some of us feel they’ve reached a milestone in untraining only to quickly find they’re almost back to square 1, but then later discover they’re deeper than it first appears?

 

You would think that untraining milestones are gates you pass, perhaps never to return through. But it doesnt seem so. 

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1 hour ago, ozziebee said:

I have suspected for some time now that continence can be described as a sine wave of indeterminate amplitude. Why do I say this?  

 

It seems that a loss-of-continence milestone is reached from time to time, but then one’s continence appears better, or the loss hits a plateau, only for another milestone to hit and suddenly one finds they’ve lost/unlearnt a bit more. 

 

Like you hear in medical shows the classic “1 step forward 2 steps back”. 

 

Some of us feel they’ve reached a milestone in untraining only to quickly find they’re almost back to square 1, but then later discover they’re deeper than it first appears?

 

You would think that untraining milestones are gates you pass, perhaps never to return through. But it doesnt seem so. 

Yes.  It looks a lot like this.  I'm going to find out how deep in I was this time next week when I need to think about pulling out - at least for a while to get this big trip out of the way.

On the one hand, it seems to me that  I'm more aware than ever of when I need to pee but when I stop to think, I realise that this "need to pee" is near constant and isn't reflective of the fullness of my bladder.   I suspect next week might be a little uncomfortable...

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22 minutes ago, oznl said:

Yes.  It looks a lot like this.  I'm going to find out how deep in I was this time next week when I need to think about pulling out - at least for a while to get this big trip out of the way.

On the one hand, it seems to me that  I'm more aware than ever of when I need to pee but when I stop to think, I realise that this "need to pee" is near constant and isn't reflective of the fullness of my bladder.   I suspect next week might be a little uncomfortable...

Consider wearing for your trip. It’s very possible you’ll leak enough to find yourself in a very uncomfortable position. I’d hate to read later how you were embarrassed because you weren’t protected. 

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Like nearing the end of a long, long summer school holiday, the pleasure of my days is increasingly tinged with invading thoughts about the resumption of a nappy-free normal. 

Although comfortable in my kite folded terry nappy and plastic pants (slightly wet!) as I work from home today, tomorrow I will start disentangling myself from nappies and give my rusty bladder and sphincter a few days to get back into normal working order before I leave Australia next Friday.

It may be something to do with the fact that I’m already thinking about NOT being in nappies (I stopped thinking about BEING in nappies some weeks ago!) but I seem to be more aware of what’s happening in pants now than I was a week or 2 ago!

I’ve found myself more frequently retaining pee and when I release, it’s often more than a mere dribble now.   A counterpoint to this however is that yesterday I spent most of the day at my desk in my BetterDry and I was so much in the “dribble zone” that a few times I felt a warm burst in my nappy that just kind of happened.  Absolutely I could have stopped it but I’d left my body in a state where it could just occur and it did.

At night, I’ve noticed I am waking MORE to pee now or at least, more clearly remembering some pees.  I think this is because I’m being woken by quite strong urges that seem to be quite disproportionate to the quantity of pee I end up releasing so this COULD actually be a “progression” rather than a “regression” of my state.

My plan is that I’ll stay in nappies today and tonight – just because I want to.  I have ZERO appetite for getting out of my nappies any earlier than I have to.  Tomorrow morning also, I’ll probably just  change into a fresh nappy because I have some shopping to do and I don’t want to be fretting about finding toilets.  Tomorrow afternoon at some time, instead of changing, I will take my nappy off

During the day Sunday, I will attempt to stay out of nappies all day. 

I will wear a nappy to bed for a few nights – just in case.  I’m fairly certain I don’t bed wet but it has occurred to me that I actually have ZERO hard evidence to support that hypothesis and at least ONE example that suggests it CAN happen now.  I will wear to bed for a couple of nights but plan NOT to use them.  If I wake up wet however, I’m going to have to re-evaluate my plans (hint to my sub-conscious:  you can step in and save me here ?!).

I will see if I have any urgency problems towards the end of the week.  If the worst comes to the worst, I will wear a nappy on the flight over but attempt to keep it dry.  I think it’s more likely however that I will recover fairly quickly and be fine.

I’m tempted to declare “I’m going straight back into nappies when I get back in April” but I will not.  I am going to wait and find out why my headspace looks like when I get there.

If I DO go back into nappies on my return, I need to accept the likelihood that I would remain in them for such a time that next big trip, I may no longer have the choice to go “dry”.  That’s going to be a VERY difficult conversation with my wife and at some point, I’d have to inform some medical practitioners: awkward…

Just in case this de-tox plan turns to custard and I find that I’ve got rampant urgency and very little bladder range (I AM of a certain age!), I’d be very grateful for any suggestions from US based members as to the closest thing to a BetterDry 247 that I could buy retail in the US from say a Walmart or a Riteaid in Western states.  I will be moving around a bit so mail order to a hotel might be tricky.

I think I am actually a little bit depressed by all of this.

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Do you remember what I theorised earlier about a sine wanve of indeterminate amplitude? That sine wave is your continence level. You’ll get worse continence, then you’ll seemingly get better, but the overall trend line will arc downwards. 

 

You could take a pack of Betterdrys with you in your bags, but also order a pack from Northshore to your first hotel. then drag them to your other destinations.  Customs may query you but they wont reject you. Same with DHS. Embarrassing, but who cares. 

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Life is change, and sometimes the changes aren't what we'd prefer. You either roll with the punches or stop fighting and take what you get. I've chosen the latter course; my true fate is to be diapered and I'm not fighting it.That decision has affected some other things but overall it was best for me- your life will be different. 

I would definitely advise taking some protection along in case your control doesn't return as you think it will. You shouldn't need anything heavy but you don't want to take avoidable risks, a few pull-ups or pads will likely do. Worry about what will happen when you get back home when it happens; you're well set up for whatever that will be so there's nothing to be concerned over- plenty of time to deal with that then ;)

And whatever the conclusion is, you're good by me. Not everyone needs to be 24/7 and that's fine B) You've experienced that deeply enough to make a real and honest comparison now by 'taking this time off' and returning to continence a bit. We do tend to forget how things are when we haven't 'been there' in a while. So just enjoy the trip and make the best of it, life back home will be waiting at the end and you'll make the right choices on your return.

Bettypooh

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12 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

Life is change, and sometimes the changes aren't what we'd prefer. You either roll with the punches or stop fighting and take what you get. I've chosen the latter course; my true fate is to be diapered and I'm not fighting it.That decision has affected some other things but overall it was best for me- your life will be different. 

I would definitely advise taking some protection along in case your control doesn't return as you think it will. You shouldn't need anything heavy but you don't want to take avoidable risks, a few pull-ups or pads will likely do. Worry about what will happen when you get back home when it happens; you're well set up for whatever that will be so there's nothing to be concerned over- plenty of time to deal with that then ;)

And whatever the conclusion is, you're good by me. Not everyone needs to be 24/7 and that's fine B) You've experienced that deeply enough to make a real and honest comparison now by 'taking this time off' and returning to continence a bit. We do tend to forget how things are when we haven't 'been there' in a while. So just enjoy the trip and make the best of it, life back home will be waiting at the end and you'll make the right choices on your return.

Bettypooh

Thanks for your kind thoughts Bettypooh.

It’s Sunday and I’m not wearing a nappy.  I’m in a foul mood and stubbornly ignoring my bladder, which less than one hour out of nappies, is protesting insistently at being asked to actually do something.

This last 2.5 months has taught me a lot but one of the big lessons is that I really *do* want to wear 24/7 and I *can* do it.  The other big lesson is that I’m attracted to the idea of NEEDING nappies and thus my laissez-faire attitude towards maintaining continence.

This is not the end of my 24/7 phase, just a pause ?  I’ve got a spare-wardrobe full of BetterDry & Molicares to deal with!

I’ve been 24x7 for long enough now to know that the advice from others in this place is most likely true and with suitable effort, I *could* stay diapered for this trip despite some sizable logistical challenges.  The killer issue however is that my wife is coming with me for at least a chunk of it and I promised her months ago that I would not wear.  Whatever the demarcation lines of control and my pursuit of happiness, a promise is a promise.  I’ve been travelling to the USA for work regularly for 25 years and this is only the second time I’ve been able to take her with me.  We *will* go out and eat burgers at vaguely retro LA diners, we *will* walk along Venice beach, we *will* go to Rodeo Drive (and I *will* pray that she doesn’t decide to buy something there) and we *will* do it without the nappies she hates.

I’ll use the time-out to re-evaluate things and make a decision if I go back into 24/7 upon my return or like Stroller, I wait a while until I can retire, or, far more likely, am forced on to the scrap heap as a white male 50-something in IT.

I’ve got to get through a night yet.  I was in nappies in bed last night but chose not to use them.  I gave that battle up at 3am in order to have some sleep.

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I am in total agreement with BettyPooh, as can say from first hand experience, how bad it is to wet your pants in an airplane or airport terminal (there are times in each case when you can't leave for a toilet when needed).  At the very least, wearing some pull ups is recommended, easy to get on and off when using a toilet, and very discrete.   Even while I was able to get over my UTI  that caused these accidents after some time, the lessons learned while traveling will never leave me.  As they say in some of the TV adverts from days past, "Never leave home without it" in my case protection for my weak bladder control.

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On 3/10/2019 at 12:09 PM, deewet said:

I am in total agreement with BettyPooh, as can say from first hand experience, how bad it is to wet your pants in an airplane or airport terminal (there are times in each case when you can't leave for a toilet when needed).  At the very least, wearing some pull ups is recommended, easy to get on and off when using a toilet, and very discrete.   Even while I was able to get over my UTI  that caused these accidents after some time, the lessons learned while traveling will never leave me.  As they say in some of the TV adverts from days past, "Never leave home without it" in my case protection for my weak bladder control.

Yeah, and if you're concerned, a full diaper is safest, when you're in your seat on a plane nobody is going to know (or care).

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Well folks it's day #3 out of nappies over here and I'm 36 hours away from heading off.

I'd have to say that things have bounced back fairly well but the first days weren't so great with urinary urgency and my sleep is back the way it was before nappies (not so good).

There are a couple of symptoms that are persisting.

I can go a few hours between pees now (not so much on day #1) but the urgency I have is out of proportion to the size of the pee.  Secondly, it is still taking noticeably longer to complete a pee.  Frankly sometimes, it's just getting boring waiting for a pathetic and halting stream to conclude.  Lastly, I still have to remember to clench.  I've had a few very small wet spots in my underwear because I forgot that one.

There's another symptom that is persisting.  I moved all my underwear out of my dresser to make way for waterproofs.  I thought I'd moved it all back but i can only find a few pairs.  It seems that they may have escaped!  I'm probably going to go straight from the airport to Walmart...

I'm still umming and ahing about wearing on the flight - more worried about my spouse than anything else at this stage.  I might sneak a pull-up on the way over and have a BetterDry in my luggage for the trip home.

I'll be off the DD air for a few weeks I think.

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3 hours ago, oznl said:

Well folks it's day #3 out of nappies over here and I'm 36 hours away from heading off.

I'd have to say that things have bounced back fairly well but the first days weren't so great with urinary urgency and my sleep is back the way it was before nappies (not so good).

There are a couple of symptoms that are persisting.

I can go a few hours between pees now (not so much on day #1) but the urgency I have is out of proportion to the size of the pee.  Secondly, it is still taking noticeably longer to complete a pee.  Frankly sometimes, it's just getting boring waiting for a pathetic and halting stream to conclude.  Lastly, I still have to remember to clench.  I've had a few very small wet spots in my underwear because I forgot that one.

There's another symptom that is persisting.  I moved all my underwear out of my dresser to make way for waterproofs.  I thought I'd moved it all back but i can only find a few pairs.  It seems that they may have escaped!  I'm probably going to go straight from the airport to Walmart...

I'm still umming and ahing about wearing on the flight - more worried about my spouse than anything else at this stage.  I might sneak a pull-up on the way over and have a BetterDry in my luggage for the trip home.

I'll be off the DD air for a few weeks I think.

I hope there is not a disaster in the waiting for you. You very well be distracted from what you are doing in hopes you’ll be able to hold it when you have to. Good luck to you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sneaky post from smartphone in USA.  Taking advice from others I decided to wear a pull up on the flight to lax.  I can confirm that the new bodyscannners at Brisbane international DO detect these as a anomaly (even if dry apparently) and you get flagged for a pat down in the relevant area LOL!  Nothing happened apart from a murderous look from my partner though.  I didn't need the pull up. Wife and I had a row to ourselves so I could get up whenever (which was a fair few times tbh).  2 weeks until home now...

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On 12/4/2018 at 10:47 PM, oznl said:

Last Saturday after a multi-year descent into desperation, I rolled the dice on my 30-year marriage.  I told her that with my headspace today, I can no longer keep my nappy thing inside the ever-narrowing swim lanes she is painting for them and that henceforth, I will be wearing a lot more and at my discretion.  Furthermore, I have told her that this wearing will include at least some period of experimental 24x7 usage.   She has opted to continue our partnership.  I feel bad and good all at the same time in a kind of cold, clear air of shared truth.

been there done that. My hubby basically did the same thing for the same reasons. He could no longer control his baby side and my only option was to deal with it and impose reasonableness on him. It worked and Theres Still a Baby in my Bed resulted!

It was still a difficult time tho.

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On 3/24/2019 at 7:06 PM, rosalie.bent said:

been there done that. My hubby basically did the same thing for the same reasons. He could no longer control his baby side and my only option was to deal with it and impose reasonableness on him. It worked and Theres Still a Baby in my Bed resulted!

It was still a difficult time tho.

I bought a number of your non fiction books to read as research on the flights. I didn't get that one because I have the first edition already.  These books are quite aimed at regressing adults with strong baby alter egos which doesn't fit me that well.  There were a couple of things that Dylan wrote that resonated however.

I will have the return trip to finish reading soon.

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Hi, Oznl, you directed me to this based on my post asking about the potential pitfalls of going over to being in diapers 24/7 for a period. This has been a great read, and fascinating. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing and your frank and open reporting. 

I spent this past weekend entirely in diapers (damp yes, messy no), from Friday until this moment. I chose relatively slim Depends because they conceal well. I was out at about, at an event, at a friend's house, etc. I can't entirely describe or explain the sense of comfort that diapers provide. 

I think your situation with your spouse is what mine would look like if I were open about this. I *think* she knows that I have been wearing diapers to bed for the last two years or so, consistently. She hasn't mentioned them and I haven't had the guts to just strut around in a diaper and a t-shirt in front of her. Funny enough, what precipitated the move to night diapers was a bed wetting incident; I have been someone who enjoys diapers since I was a little kid, and I actually wore diapers to bed until I was about 8, because I was a prolific bed wetter, which is what I think seeded my life-long fascination with diapers, but since then I've never "needed" them for practical reasons, only for emotional ones. 

However, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour a decade ago (big but benign, if you are going to get one, this is the one to get), and it presses on my pituitary, which may or may not explain the very rare bed wetting that I have been experiencing lately. This COULD be the excuse I need to "come out of the closet" on wearing diapers in bed, but I haven't had the guts to broach it. Anyway, "lucky" for me, I had a stash of diapers and I liked wearing them anyway, so, the solution to this new problem was readily at hand. 

I would love for her to accept this and let me roll with it, but if it went the other way, "What, you're a sicko, oh my God...", the result could be the equivalent of a nuclear device being let off in my life. I am the sole breadwinner and we have two kids and life is expensive. I might have to chose between diapers in a bad apartment, or my nice house and access to my kids, while skulking about wearing diapers whenever I can. I work from home frequently and also travel, so I do have opportunities. 

There isn't time to get into this right now, but, in a nutshell, being secretive about this leaves me with the same feelings I had when I was wearing diapers to bed as a kid - a sense of shame and embarrassment that I'd like to put behind me. 

I'm looking forward to hearing which way you go on this project when you return.  All the best. 

 

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On 4/1/2019 at 9:31 AM, Little Sherri said:

Hi, Oznl, you directed me to this based on my post asking about the potential pitfalls of going over to being in diapers 24/7 for a period. This has been a great read, and fascinating. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing and your frank and open reporting. 

I spent this past weekend entirely in diapers (damp yes, messy no), from Friday until this moment. I chose relatively slim Depends because they conceal well. I was out at about, at an event, at a friend's house, etc. I can't entirely describe or explain the sense of comfort that diapers provide. 

I think your situation with your spouse is what mine would look like if I were open about this. I *think* she knows that I have been wearing diapers to bed for the last two years or so, consistently. She hasn't mentioned them and I haven't had the guts to just strut around in a diaper and a t-shirt in front of her. Funny enough, what precipitated the move to night diapers was a bed wetting incident; I have been someone who enjoys diapers since I was a little kid, and I actually wore diapers to bed until I was about 8, because I was a prolific bed wetter, which is what I think seeded my life-long fascination with diapers, but since then I've never "needed" them for practical reasons, only for emotional ones. 

However, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour a decade ago (big but benign, if you are going to get one, this is the one to get), and it presses on my pituitary, which may or may not explain the very rare bed wetting that I have been experiencing lately. This COULD be the excuse I need to "come out of the closet" on wearing diapers in bed, but I haven't had the guts to broach it. Anyway, "lucky" for me, I had a stash of diapers and I liked wearing them anyway, so, the solution to this new problem was readily at hand. 

I would love for her to accept this and let me roll with it, but if it went the other way, "What, you're a sicko, oh my God...", the result could be the equivalent of a nuclear device being let off in my life. I am the sole breadwinner and we have two kids and life is expensive. I might have to chose between diapers in a bad apartment, or my nice house and access to my kids, while skulking about wearing diapers whenever I can. I work from home frequently and also travel, so I do have opportunities. 

There isn't time to get into this right now, but, in a nutshell, being secretive about this leaves me with the same feelings I had when I was wearing diapers to bed as a kid - a sense of shame and embarrassment that I'd like to put behind me. 

I'm looking forward to hearing which way you go on this project when you return.  All the best. 

 

Thanks Sherri.  I am STILL in the USA and whilst I have been travelling here for work so many years that I have many colleagues here who are friends, I know my way around and I can get great craft beer, I miss my own bed badly after 3.5 weeks.

Also not enjoying the cold virus so much.  Thanks team USA for that one.

I will be back home next week and I will update... 

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I'm home!  So, let me provide an update.  For those of you with little appetite for reading, let me cut to the headline:  I am back in full-time nappies and have been since LAX airport some 48 hours ago!

Here's the details:

1. The Great Brisbane Airport Security Fail

Taking on board the (probably prudent) advice from a few that after 2.5 months using nappies, I should probably wear some kind of protection on a 14 hour trans-pacific flight, I donned a Molicare pull-up under my jeans before heading off for Brisbane airport.

My intent was to keep it dry (and I did) but to at least have some insurance.  I was travelling with my wife and I thought it less controversial not to tell her I had it on.

At security, Brisbane international is using new body scanners.  I’m not sure of the technology.  They seemed a little different from the US ones with which I am familiar as you stand between a pair of fixed boards rather than in a kind of ‘phone booth’ where scanners swipe around you.

As usual, it was highly congested in the morning and it took some time in a queue of hundreds of people to inch forward to the hand baggage scanners and body scanners.  Being familiar with these through US travel, I’d emptied all pockets and removed my belt.  I was slightly disturbed by the sign that asked passengers to inform security staff of any “medical appliances” but kind of assumed this was aimed at physical devices rather than garments.

Pretty much everybody was moving through the scanner with only the usual dramas caused by people failing to empty pockets.

There was one guy ahead of me who failed.  He was directed to one side, patted down, and then sent through the scanner again.  He failed again.  He was again patted down, more carefully and then sent on his way regardless.  If he was a terrorist, he won.

Then I failed. 

I was waved to one side where another security worker stepped up.  He immediately patted my hips and ran his finger most fleetingly to the outer edge of my nappied crotch and stopped.  Immediately he said "ok" and waved me on and we were done but he knew…  It HAD to be the nappy.  There was nothing else and the pat down only went to one place.   He’d felt what he needed to feel and had been trained to let it drop.

My wife stared daggers into my back from behind the security scanner although she never said anything.

The Molicare remained dry for the flight.  There was an empty seat between my wife and I for the trip over to LA and I could get up easily whenever I wanted.  Despite the dehydrating nature of flight, I definitely went more than usual.  As LA was my first destination, I didn’t have to worry about any more security and proceeded through immigration and customs without incident.

2. US Adventures

I’m not sure if it is a consequence of 2.5 month in nappies or just being 2.5 months older but things were at best 85% normal for this trip with respect to bathroom use.  I continually had low level urgency and frequency aggravated by a frustratingly slow pee rate.   I can now hold off peeing for some hours but when I DO get to go, it can take a little time to get started and ages to actually finish.  Many times I found myself standing there in front of a toilet, wishing I was diapered so I could just move on with my day.  I spent a LOT of time in toilets ?

Another fall out from 2.5 months diapered is that it seems aliens abducted my underwear.  I simply couldn’t find very much of it to take away!  I honestly have no idea where it has gotten to.  I thought I’d moved it to my nappy-hamper so I could move my waterproof pants into my underwear drawer but when I went to pack, I could only find a few pairs!

It was around day 4 in LA when we were planning some shopping that my wife reminded that I should get some underwear as well as some jeans and shirts.

It was at that point I told her that I didn’t see the point because I wasn’t planning to wear underwear when I got back.  Subtle eh?

“How long for THIS experiment?” she immediately asked.  “I don’t know” I replied.  “It’s indefinite...”

There was a tantrum, then some tears, and then some bargaining but compared to December last year, it was like somebody had pressed the “fast forward” button this time around and we rocketed through the whole pantomime in 20 minutes flat…  The bargaining is that I will keep my nappies more carefully covered walking through the house even when I think my teenager is asleep or otherwise locked away in his room with the door shut.  It would be easier if I just changed in our walk-in-robe but she didn’t seem comfortable with that.

There was another request.  She asked for a “break” before resumption when I first returned. 

On the face of it, this didn’t seem such a big ask but I wanted to understand why this would be helpful for her.  She had no answer for this. 

As non-confrontationally as possible, I responded that since there was no specific reason, this was most likely another attempt at control that I didn’t want and wouldn't help either of us.  I suspect if I’d given in to this request, then campaigning and perpetual extensions to this break would have been sought.

This seemed to be (reluctantly) accepted.

3. What next?

And so I returned on my Qantas flight from LAX to BNE wearing a BetterDry 247 and Gary PUL pants (emergency supplies I’d stashed in my suitcase) under my black jeans.  A combination of long haul flight dehydration and general BetterDry awesomeness saw my nappy handle the flight, the trip home and a couple of cups of coffee afterwards before a nice long shower and a change.

And US shopping?  I have a new range of “one size too large” work dress pants and jeans.

Last night I went to bed in my nappies for the first time in nearly one month.  Waking up languidly empty-bladdered and comfortable in the morning was brilliant.  Upon arising and changing myself,  it appeared that I’d had a “wet dream” in my molicare during the night.  I have absolutely no recollection of that (or anything else) happening last night as I'd been up for nearly 48 hours by the time I went to bed.  It could just be some kind of SAP residue thing, I didn't do any DNA testing!

I have no particular stop date for this 24x7 phase which is a bit different from last time.  Presumably if I was to hold onto my job, I could bump into a similar major OS commitment this time next year but if I’d spent the intervening 12 months diapered, I may no longer have the option of leaving nappies behind.  The US retail diaper range I saw was beyond dismal.  I didn’t see ANYTHING I would have trusted on a shelf: least worst seemed to be the 6-tape Depends.

I will continue to monitor my continence and call it as I see it in terms of letting things run on or pausing.

 

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Hi onzl

good to hear your back in oz. So your 24/7 experiment continues, you have to do what makes you happy. All I can say is thank goodness teenagers are in their own worlds you should try having an inquisitive 9 year old. As for your wife as long as you don’t flaunt your nappies in front of her i think she will learn to except it although still not agreeing with your choice of underwear.

keep me updated.

newbee

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Oznl, I’m glade to hear of your return to diapers and details of travels abroad. I’ve highly enjoyed your updates on this thread and look forward to more. While I’m not married I view your experiences and the way you’ve handled diapers and  marriage as a resource I can draw on later in life. I suspect I could be headed down a similar path towards balancing a partner and desire to be 24/7 for the most part. Thanks for letting us all into your journey 

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