Haven't got the will to try and fight

[Madmanmike]

I've been suffering from depression for several years now trying to fight back suicidal thoughts and actions but to tell you the truth I don't  want to if the opertunaty came where I had no ties to anything and it was A quick means I would end it I really would no one in my life apart from my GF gives A crap about anyone but themselves including my family if I want anything I have to take it by force if I want anything done I have to do it myself and if I want any help I'm sh#t out of luck I seriously think the crooked man is after me sometimes I think I see him out of the corner of my eye and even when I don't see him I know he's there watching me waiting for the right time to make me suffer because I still live with my folks until I'm financially stable I can't have little time and that's the worst part because I can't have little time I don't really have A healthy coping mechanism for my depression I've tried therapy medication and even numbing my pain with cheap booze and nothing really works anymore any help would be appreciated thank you

PS sorry I haven't been here in A while my uncle got high on molly ran out of the stuff then stole and sold my phone so he could afford more I sh#t you not also I'm A little drunk right now so sorry if there's any spelling errors in this

With love Mike

[Baby Girl Sarah]

Mike  as as  frequent flyer  in the DEEP   (and i mean DEEP  DARK  depression  pit  ) And also i have had suicidal tendencies  from when i was young up to know   i think i can safely say  i know  some of this  my dear  SO  if you dont mind talking a woman  and WAY older then you as well    im right here  ready to Listen (read  ) 

What i can say is  Suicide is NOT  will NOT EVER be the right solution dear   and thank god its not that easy  to get it done  as  many people with this  thoughts are led to believe Most   methods are   both HIGHLY  unpleasant  and   Painful and the success rate arent that high either  (again THANK GOD   )  Self medication  with Booze  or drugs  or whatever   same  story   and it NEVER   work. 

Hon youre only 19  dear and TRUST me on this when i say  it WILL get better  BUT it will need for you to WANT to take on the fight  and just dont give up.  When i was in youe age  i was  also a complete  wreck   so i do recognize the signs  were you are at now  dear  so believe me i understand more then you think .   

HANG in there Mike i know right now it feels you dont have future  and it isent worth a shit anymore so you might as well just end it   BUT   youre WRONG you have the rest  of youre life ahead of you  Mike 

Feel free to Pm me  as well  IF  you want to talk   Mike                               

[Wannatripbaby]

What she ^ said.

*hugs*

We're here for you, buddy. ? Suicide is not the answer. And I can tell you from personal experience that when you get through this you'll look back on your old self and be like "Damn, I really said that!?" 

I'm probably in the minority in that I believe Depression can ultimately be a good thing. It proves that you're conscientious enough to see the darkness in the world and in yourself. And it DOES hurt, but it will pass when you're ready to accept the darkness with the light. ♡

[Madmanmike]

Thank you both so much I really do appreciate it It's nice to be able to talk about this to someone I've been trying to scedual A therapy session soon and hopefully that will go well until then I'll do my best to keep fighting and stick in there

With love Mike

[Wannatripbaby]

16 hours ago, Madmanmike said:

Thank you both so much I really do appreciate it It's nice to be able to talk about this to someone I've been trying to scedual A therapy session soon and hopefully that will go well until then I'll do my best to keep fighting and stick in there

With love Mike

Thanks for sticking with us, Mike. You won't regret it, I promise!

[Baby Girl Sarah]

17 hours ago, Madmanmike said:

Thank you both so much I really do appreciate it It's nice to be able to talk about this to someone I've been trying to scedual A therapy session soon and hopefully that will go well until then I'll do my best to keep fighting and stick in there

With love Mike

With me once i have started  helping someone im in for as long as  needed  and im wanted. Come heaven or high earth Mike.  And you have done WELL  my friend  believe me i know how hard it is to take this step once youre down there  & im PROUD of you.             

[Bettypooh]

As I see it, if there's a possibility for things to get better then there's reason to go on, even if just to see if that happens. Younger folks have a whole life ahead of them which means plenty of chances for better ahead. You can't get to have any of that if you're not here among the living.

Give me the roses- I love them even if they have thorns which hurt me sometimes. I'll focus on the roses and deal with the thorns as best I can, knowing that the next bunch of roses will have thorns too but they will still be roses which I love

Bettypooh

[horrorfan]

A big part of depression is recognizing what triggers you and either knowing how to avoid or how to respond to your triggers so that you come out on top. Think about what upsets you and make a plan of action on how to stay positive when depression strikes. I can also confirm that alcohol and drugs do not help with depression (in fact, they make it worse).

I say this to almost every depressed soul I meet, but if you try to take care of yourself (eat and sleep right, get enough exercise, challenge your mental capacity, and try to help others), it gets easier, and eventually manageable. Good luck, bud.

[Bettypooh]

4 hours ago, horrorfan said:

A big part of depression is recognizing what triggers you and either knowing how to avoid or how to respond to your triggers so that you come out on top.

So VERY true. My Therapist gave me the tools to deal with my triggers this way which has allowed me to go on in life without Meds.It's a never-ending process of watching for warning signs of depression creeping back in and of learning how to better handle my problems and new problems as well. Learning this is as important or may be more important that taking Meds because what you gain here will also work with better handling everything else in your life too. Some triggers can be avoided but some can't, and with those how you handle those makes all the difference in the world.

Bettypooh