Recent Anti-Spanking Rants on TV

[Nat]

Lot of kids were spanked when I was growing up. I was spanked, my husband used to get hit with a belt and last time it happened, he was 16 because of his stupid friend and my husband just happened to be there when it happened and he didn't know it happened until he saw it. He did get rid of the friend. I was even hit with a wooden spoon. It didn't happen often. 

 

I am still waiting to do a crime lol and so is my husband. My parents are still waiting too. 

[cookiemonster23]

On 12/14/2020 at 1:24 AM, marinus18 said:

That is lazy parenting because she doesn´t make it clear why you deserve it. Our mom would always explain it exactly. She was an intellectual so believed understanding was key so we had to discipline. Punishment was merely a tool to make sure we would listen. Punishing a child without explanation regardless of if it's physical or not is abusive. Even if she didn't spank and just did things like grounding and chores without explaining why it would still be bad.

Really? Is that age truly accurate?

 

I think spankings have gone out of favor because people have more time to raise their kids. One big advantage of spankings is that they are much quicker. You don't have to go into lengthy talks. You can just tell them what they did wrong and spank them and they will accept it. Now however families are smaller and modern tech has drastically cut down on the time needed for household chores. Before children HAD to do their chores as a single mother was simply unable to do it on her own. Now though a single mother can do all the chores of a 3 children household reasonably easily. So making sure they do their chores is no longer essential and she has the time to spend on other discipline methods.

Also today the understanding of psychology is much greater than it was before so there are many more techniques available that don't include physical force. My mom was really into that and read all kinds of books and had quite elaborate and creative child rearing methods.

 

Therefore most spankings do not occur because a parent wants to responsibly teach their child discipline and have happy family but because they are too lazy to look into other methods or too selfish to put too much effort into their kids. Or worse of all they spank their children to blow off some steam. I think that's why many kids who are suffering spankings now develop a lot more damage. It's not the spankings themselves but usually the only parents who resort to them also have all kinds of other issues.

"she doesn't make it clear why you deserve it" Excuse me, what? I DIDN'T deserve it. No child deserves to be hit. 

[BabyJune]

Geez, in elementary school the paddle was the most-used method of discipline. We were actually afraid to misbehave. And if we got paddled in school, we also got it again when we got home.

[~Brian~]

6 hours ago, BabyJune said:

Geez, in elementary school the paddle was the most-used method of discipline. We were actually afraid to misbehave. And if we got paddled in school, we also got it again when we got home.

@BabyJune

I only saw one time that I remember when a teacher "punished" a student by spanking them.  When that happened, the Student said something or did something wrong, and the teacher just said, "You are gonna do this......or.....You will be spanked"  He  mouthed off to the teacher, and he was stood up, spanked 4 or 5 times, and then he was sit back down.  This happened when I was in third grade, and I was like "I'm not gonna get in trouble around here like that, because I KNOW what happens when I get home."  This was in the late 70's and I think it only happened once that I saw. 

I remember going to Florida in 1996, 1997, and 1999.  When I did that the friend I stayed with had a 7 to 8 year old son, and he had ADHD and was disabled.  He would get "excited" and would do things she thought were inappropriate when he would "lose control."  I believe the way that they dealt with this would be that he could be corporeally punished to deal with these issues.   This was used at school to deal with his issues.  For some reason, there were times when he would "lose control" and he would just say/do things that would make people squirm, because of him being a wise cracker - Lets just say he was "very disrespectful" and what he said made me go "WTF?"

Corporal Punishment in schools is illegal in most jurisdictions, but apparently (at the time) in Florida, it WAS legal if the parent(s) signed a waiver and an agreement that it was OK to use a "paddle" as a way to correct errant behavior.  I don't think you should spank, UNLESS there is a immediate Danger of harm, or if a parent believes there is a GOOD reason.  Any other use of punishment like this, is just a reason for someone to take out their anger or disapproval out on whoever is causing problems.  There are BETTER ways nowadays to get your point across:  "Spanking" can be used as way to deal with it, but when I was growing up, you basically knew as @BabyJune said, that if you got in trouble and paddled at school, you were gonna get it again when you got home, and that was something to be afraid of and AVOID at ALL COSTS!

I Don't sanction the type of punishments where someone is mad, and just hits to deal with their anger or disapproval:  That is NOT going to teach any lesson:  that just results in kids figuring out that if someone is mad at you, that you are OK to hit someone repeatedly and yell and scream.  This can HURT someone, and sends the wrong message:  That message is "Man, I better make sure I don't make someone mad/upset, or they will beat the heck outta me."  It also sets the stage for kids to be AFRAID to deal with their parents if they are in need of something.  Parents need to set an example that regardless of what happens, they have their kids back, and they can always come to them if they are in trouble:  If they are afraid of getting "spanked badly" they will shy away if they know what that means.

13 hours ago, cookiemonster23 said:

Excuse me, what? I DIDN'T deserve it. No child deserves to be hit.

@cookiemonster23

No child deserves to be Hit: That is a given, and I support that:  There are better ways now to get your point across, and communication with your kids is KEY:  If they KNOW your expectations, and what will happen if they are breached, they will be less likely to have a situation where a corporal punishment will need to be used.  I knew that as a kid, and sometimes, even I "took a punishment" like that because I didn't want to deal with my Mom punishing me:  I took a spanking ONCE, so that my transgretion would be "done with", and I was PROMISED that I would NOT have any further punishment, and Mom would NOT know, and wasn't told, and I was LIED to, and Mom Spanked me anyway:  so that means, I got spanked TWICE: one by her Boyfriend at the time, and once by her:  I hate spankings, because they were used a LOT when I was little.  No talk: a lot of yelling, and a lot of feeling like I didn't deserve some of that.   I feel for you, because back in the day, Parents used to threaten to spank all the time, and sometimes, you got whipped when you didn't deserve it

You are correct:  Children are Children, and they should be allowed to be kids.  They also should be taught that there are rules, and consequences for breaking them.  When a child breaks a rule, the consequence is enforced, based on the age and maturity and understanding of the child in question.  They do NOT deserve to be hit.  When you are "punishing" someone, this is supposed to be a teaching moment, and not a fight or a "whip the heck outta someone" moment.  a "swat on the butt" is one thing, and I've seen that dispensed by my family members, when misbehavior happens, but it is NOT a continuous whipping - That is WRONG

On 12/18/2020 at 2:22 AM, Nat said:

I was even hit with a wooden spoon. It didn't happen often. 

@Nat

Ohhhhh.......That Damn Wooden Spoon.........I hated that thing:  Mom used to threaten me with using that all the time!

Brian

Edited January 8, 2021 by ~Brian~
added a word

[philmydiaper]

On 12/18/2020 at 12:44 AM, Safari Baby said:

Was spanked and the belt but was never beaten so if done right it's harmless.  Now getting lifted on the ground by the neck and slammed into a wall that will mess with you for a bit!

I hear you buddy ! thats physicall abuse borderline assault. I would never wish that on any child or person. That would be poor parenting at its worst.

[1950potty]

When dealing with children corner time is valuable.  Now the child considers it is part of punishment (which it is) but It allows the parent to cool off.  One time my daughter made a big mistake, my now ex sent her to her room for 2 hours before my ex spanked her.  Yes we did spank but we never did it when angry.   It is not a bad idea for using corner time for any parent who needs to punish a child regardless of the method.