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I’ve been working my tail off lately and it’s kind of hard for me to get out. I’m a hermit for sure, but when it comes down to it, I’m just depleted of energy. Lately, I’ve been drowning myself in unhealth ways and at this point I just need good friends.

Sadly, the friend(s) I had, I can’t trust anymore and I feel like I never will again; lending money. Seems like I’m being used and other stuff; only true friends keep secrets.. I’ve got my own stuff going for me, but I can’t help but feel belittled or betrayed. 

Just looking for good friends or even advice. To be honest, I don’t think this site is for me, but everyone seems to be real nice.. yet I’ve always been a Lone wolf ?

? 

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Sorry you feel like your being used and betrayed. about 12 years ago, I was in the same situation. I had a best friend who I spent almost every day hang out with and then one day I realized that he was just using me for things and when I addressed my concern, his response was "That's what friends are for! if your not here to help me then why are you here?" so I made the decision to completely cut ties with that person. So I definitely understand how you feel.

Anyways, To be honest, I'm not really that great at giving advise. Personally I'm also going through some things and dealing with depression. With that said, I just wanted to make sure you knew that someone was reading and that I could relate to some of your situation! I also wanted to say that I definitely understand how you feel about working your tail off. In the past I've used work as a distraction and I'm not saying that is what your doing but maybe it is?

I will say that there was a point where I felt I needed to improve my social life and make more friends. I remember searing the web for furry related things going on locally and I happen to find a weekly furry meet that happened in my very own town and I just decided to randomly go to it! It was the best decision I ever made! Not sure if there are any local ABDL meet ups in your area or any kind of meetups relating to something your enjoy but thank GOD there was something going on locally for me. If there are no local social circles doing something weekly or even monthly, then you could always start one? 2 of my best friends 15 years ago wanted to do more socializing so they just randomly started a movie meet! They posted every week on a local mailing server where they where having dinner, what movie they where seeing and when. (I don't know what it's officially called but it's this email list where you can send an email to this server and anyone subscribed to the list gets the email.) They always chose a place to eat they already wanted to go to and a movie they already wanted to see and worst case scenario, no one showed up and they still did something they wanted to do anyways. What ended up happening is furries started to go because they had nothing better to do and now its a weekly meet that 15-20 people show up to weekly! I've met some great people through that meet and I'm so glad that I went! Now, I go every week! 

I guess I'm pretty lucky to have an interest in something that so many other people also share that interest in. I go to local furry conventions twice a year where I meet new people and I go to that movie meet every week. You just got to figure out what you enjoy and find other local people who also enjoy that and start something! Your kind of already doing that now by being on this website and although, we are not all local, you can definitely still meet some new great people to connect with!

Not sure if anything I post helps but I hope something did. I didn't really know what to say when I started this and kind of thought of things as I was typing. I just knew I wanted to say something. :P 

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Belive me dear i KNOW how you feel  and i also know that this is  the depression beast  within youre head   that have comed out  of  its  dark  cave    and we need to get that thing back in its cave were it belong 

Reg being  used  and so on  yeah story of my life they happily use me  when they need me  then al of a sudden thank but you're no longer needed  we get back to you if we do .So yeah i know this  and im VERY  used to it as well . 

Only YOU can decide if this site  is for you or not  hon BUT take it from another  HOWLING Lone wolf  having friends  on the Webb  only is WAY better then not having any at al  dear so if you whant to talk  you know im just a Pm a way  dear                 

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Please don't take this the wrong way, but discovering what a real friend is is part of maturing. We all still have some basic life lessons to learn till we're 30-35, and of real friends you'll never have more than the fingers on one hand. Maybe half that. There's a place in life for the rest, but when it comes to real friends they will never let you down, reveal any secrets, or use you mercilessly. I've got exactly 2 real friends and 2 that are kind of close to that. I just recently discovered that another one in that last category was BS, quite a let-down but I just go on with life. They will need me again someday and then they will discover what they lost. Something younger folks don't understand is that while you might meet a friend on the internet, none of the people you meet only in the distance is really a friend. They can't come over and give you a hand with doing something, they can't show up and pay bond to get your butt out of jail, they can't give you a hug when you need one. Nice folks, but not real friends in your real life no matter how often you connect or how much you share. Real friends are physical, not digital, and they have no limits with you. Plus the reverse.

You're at a crossroads in life and not making progress- that's why you're feeling down right now. I don't know the cause but I well know the symptoms. First thing I'd recommend is getting out into more of the world- the real world, not the internet, and get some new personal interactions going on. Explore a hobby more, look into things you've never tried but always wanted to, try something new just for the heck of it. We're made to grow and have progress in life- when that stops we begin to die, and you're not old enough for that yet. Needing human interaction is how we're built and that's become more shallow these days what with everyone's life being more digital than physical. Social media has changed the world, and not all of that change is good. So now it's time to move forward into something more real- that will rejuvenate your spirits and get you going again. Put on a smile and head out the door even if only to see what's going on around you today. Find something to like about it- the leaves changing color, how pretty snow on the ground is, seeing how many people smile back at you, or whatever.

We need life, not just survival, and it doesn't often come to us- we have to go out and grab some of it ourselves, so go grab some!

Bettypooh

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3 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

Please don't take this the wrong way, but discovering what a real friend is is part of maturing. We all still have some basic life lessons to learn till we're 30-35, and of real friends you'll never have more than the fingers on one hand. Maybe half that. There's a place in life for the rest, but when it comes to real friends they will never let you down, reveal any secrets, or use you mercilessly. I've got exactly 2 real friends and 2 that are kind of close to that. I just recently discovered that another one in that last category was BS, quite a let-down but I just go on with life. They will need me again someday and then they will discover what they lost. Something younger folks don't understand is that while you might meet a friend on the internet, none of the people you meet only in the distance is really a friend. They can't come over and give you a hand with doing something, they can't show up and pay bond to get your butt out of jail, they can't give you a hug when you need one. Nice folks, but not real friends in your real life no matter how often you connect or how much you share. Real friends are physical, not digital, and they have no limits with you. Plus the reverse.

You're at a crossroads in life and not making progress- that's why you're feeling down right now. I don't know the cause but I well know the symptoms. First thing I'd recommend is getting out into more of the world- the real world, not the internet, and get some new personal interactions going on. Explore a hobby more, look into things you've never tried but always wanted to, try something new just for the heck of it. We're made to grow and have progress in life- when that stops we begin to die, and you're not old enough for that yet. Needing human interaction is how we're built and that's become more shallow these days what with everyone's life being more digital than physical. Social media has changed the world, and not all of that change is good. So now it's time to move forward into something more real- that will rejuvenate your spirits and get you going again. Put on a smile and head out the door even if only to see what's going on around you today. Find something to like about it- the leaves changing color, how pretty snow on the ground is, seeing how many people smile back at you, or whatever.

We need life, not just survival, and it doesn't often come to us- we have to go out and grab some of it ourselves, so go grab some!

Bettypooh

( Standing up and applaud )    I couldn't have sed  it better even if i tried   

I can only ad is  i can with EASE  count my REEL  friends on ONE hand.  REEL friends  are ALWAYS   there for you nomether  what.  Come  heaven or  or high water,  NEVER  judge  ,and never  take you for granted dear . And i rather just have  the few  REEL   friends i have   then a billion  NOT reel friends     

In my case   99 % of my so called social life is on the Webb.  As i sed  im a HOWLING Lone   ? forced  to become one  from my diagnosis             

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Thanks you guys! I really do appreciate all the advice and stories. Helps me gain a little more perspective in my situation. Got lots to say, but it’ll have to wait for another day... it’s way past my bed time .-. Lol I just wanted to post this real quick to say how much it means to me to get someone else’s point of view. Not much of a hugger, but I’d gladly give you three a hug for taking time out of your day for the response that you gave. 

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  • 1 month later...

It's hard for me too, but if you try to put yourself out there you'll meet new people. A few key things to remember are that not everyone will like you, you can't make everyone happy, and a friendship takes both people to make it work (so if you find yourself balancing deeds and favors then it's probably time to move on). I've betrayed, I've been betrayed, but I always try to learn what worked and what didn't work (mind you I don't go out of my way to double-cross others, I just acknowledge sometimes it's not possible for me to make others happy, which can make others feel betrayed).

Consider how others interact with you and how you encourage the interaction.  When I'm at work, I present myself to be outgoing and friendly, which in turn helps my customers to trust me and want to work with me, if I presented myself as a sour person who passes judgement on others I wouldn't get very far with my objectives, since your objective is to make friends you have to ask yourself what other people are looking for in friendships. The things people look for in others varies, but a few attributes I can list off the top of my head are charisma, looks, smarts, and wealth/resources. Figure out what you have going for you and use it to your advantage.

I hope my advice was helpful. Best of luck and may you meet others who treasure your company.

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