Out deer hunting.

[rusty pins]

9 hours ago, willnotwill said:

Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water… BAM! A fucking bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of diaper the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?

Just a question.  Are you by any chance a vegetarian?

[willnotwill]

Nope... it was a slight tweak from the line in My Cousin Vinnie.

[dyperbole]

What's a yute?

[WetDad]

Youth

[Toyboy]

When I read about hunting in other countries I really appreciate my own country so much more. Once you have a firearms license you can hunt all year round no bag limits on dear pig gote. ..and all free .

[Spanky]

I've been out hunting the last two days and today with a group of people,  so I haven't been diapered. It can be a pain sometimes,  trying to fish the little man out through multiple layers of clothing each time I have to take a leak. Diapers are so much more convenient. 

[willnotwill]

1 hour ago, Spanky said:

 It can be a pain sometimes,  trying to fish the little man out through multiple layers of clothing each time I have to take a leak. Diapers are so much more convenient. 

 

Just tie a string to it

For those who haven't heard the joke:
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"

The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant... He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

[rusty pins]

Similar to the story about the guy in the restaurant who's waiter brought him his soup.  The guy noticed the waiter had his thumb in the soup but decided not to say anything.  When the waiter brought the main course the guy noticed the waiter had his thumb in the gravy.  The guy is starting to get pissed but still didn;t say anything.  Finally when the waiter brought the hot apple pie for dessert and had his thumb in it, the customer exploded!  "I watrched you bring my soup, dinner and now pie and you had your thumb in all of them!"  the waiter replied, "Yes, I have rheumatism in my thumb and my doctor told me to keep it in a moist warm place as much as I can".  The customer then yells, "Well you can shove your damn thumb up your ass!"  "That's where I keep it when I'm in the kitchen", the waiter replied.