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AluminumBlack

Do you like where this is going?

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With my recent visit for the first time to a real AB/DL store, it has gotten me thinking this whole "mainstream, growing and more accepted" "thing" is getting and I am not sure I like how popular it seems to be growing.

 A few days ago it was the first time I publicly told someone in person of what I do and at the same time I am thumbing through all the AB/DL stuff that a real AB/DL would ever want. I was in front of "normal" people that worked there in a REAL medical supply store meant for people to get prescription wheel chairs and medical aids, but due to the public, via internet, noticing this once secret community, these types of stores are popping up. W all know why a medical supply store would even consider selling AB/DL stuff, it's big money for them, they probably sell triple the adult diapers plus all the special AB/DL clothes and items....it's profit and it is on us real AB/DL's The nice man there said himself they sometimes have a hard time keeping up with demand, as these specialty, AB/DL stuff have to be imported and what not. 

While there in the AB/DL section which is right in the store in plain sight of EVERYONE, I wondered what "normal" people thought when they went over there waiting for their prescriptions? I wonder if they think WTF is this? What? are these diapers for babies or adults? they have cartoons on them....WTF these are huge onesies....what is this?.  I wonder if they think..."did I just walk into a friggin sex shop" what the hell is this?  I wonder if any of the employees were asked about the intentions of the adult baby stuff they have....I wonder if the employees tell their "normal" customers that they supply stuff for people that like wearing diapers and sucking on binkies....I'd love to be there when they are asked, lmao.   

 I feel different since I was there about my "thing"  Long ago it was just me I felt special, confused, sometimes mad at what I did, but I always enjoyed it and it always made me feel like "me" and comfortable and escape from BS happening around me....I found the community of people like me when I found the internet, I was changed in the same manner as it did a few days ago when I finally revealed my self to another person face to face and bought AB and diapers in front of them.....I don't feel special anymore there are many many like me, so much that even medical supply stors are stocking AB/DL stuff with employees treating us AB's like anyone else.  Pretty soon WalMart will be stocking AB/DL items and people will become used to it and it will no longer be taboo and weird or special.

I dunno.....I just feel like I am missing the mystery of it all, feeling special that I am the only one, and that people will start seeing AB/Dl in public with our jammies and onesies on, but it would all be accepted just as any trans, gay, cross dressers, whatever, are....W will bocome just another one of them and no one would smile at us anymore for being special.

 

Not sure I am actually liking this new AB/DL market where proprietors are cashing in on us  and our sensitive "thing"  I don't think I want it to become mainstream. 

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Considering how many people have gotten hurt precisely by it not being mainstream and accepted, there's no way it becoming more mainstream is a bad thing. We should be accepted just like anyone else. There's also the fact that "incontinence" diapers have taken to scamming incontinent people in recent years with subpar products, so AB/DL products are a must for them nowadays.

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This isn't mainstream and it isn't going to be any time soon (read: ever)... And please don't put ABDL in the same bracket as LGBT.

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3 hours ago, Elfy said:

This isn't mainstream and it isn't going to be any time soon (read: ever)... And please don't put ABDL in the same bracket as LGBT.

I have to agree.  And I'm perfectly happy with a lot of what's happened over the past 20 years that makes being an AB so much easier.  It's great we can find other ABs now.  That used to be so difficult.  It's great that we can buy the things we need, and that we have a good choice of things.  Even if things were available, it used to be so hard to find out about them, and there was so little to buy, as potential sellers couldn't reach their market, and didn't know there was a market.  The WWW has made this lifestyle comfortable for me, both physically and mentally.  I don't yearn for the ABDL scene to be hidden away, or for it to be in everyone's face.  But, I'm so grateful it exists and is thriving.  If a physical medical supply shop morphs into an AB shop, there's nothing wrong with that - that's their business.  If it works, others will follow.  I doubt it will work too well, mixing ABs with other customers openly, but I've no objection to a shop trying to make it work.

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I think over many years AB/DL will become more open and acceptable as a lifestyle even though there will still be many who don't like it, don't understand it and don't want to.  I look back over the last 40 years and I see just how far the lifestyle has come.  Internet sites, TV talk shows and even drama's.  Then all you have to do is read the "Diapers in the news" forum to see how much it has gotten in the open as opposed to 40 years ago.

Do I like where it's going?  I'm undecided a bit but I am glad it is at least getting out there so people are aware there are many different lifestyles.  I am at mixed feelings about a combo medical supply/AB/DL store.  In one case, I think it's nice that people who are AB or DL have a place they can walk into and view all the adult baby style diapers and adult baby clothes, ask questions and buy what they like.  I've always been one who likes to first see in a store what I'm buying and look it over.  Many has been the time I have seen an add in the paper and have gone to the store to look over the item only to find that what I thought was a metal housing was cheap plastic, or that it was not at all what I thought it was.  Have you ever seen a Burger King ad with a picture of a Whopper?  Does what you actually get when you order one even come close to resembling what the picture looked like?  It's called marketing in order for you to get interested in their product.  It makes sense to actually look at the diapers, onesie's and all in person so you can see how thick the diapers are, hear how crinckly the plastic backing is, see if they look like they will fit you.  Are the onesies of cheap material?  How well are they sewn?  How about the snaps?  Are the good or do they look cheap?  All things you can see and feel in person a lot better than a picture on a website.  It's also a benefit to the store owner to diversify and have another different but somewhat similar product market available to increase profits, especially a product market so rare to come across in a brick and mortar store.

On the other hand, there's one thing we usually say here on Daily Diapers.  It's not a good idea to involve regular people in your fetish, and that means openly wearing diapers around them, diapers or baby clothes that show in public or mess your diaper among people that can smell it.  I'd just as soon see a store like the one above but have all the AB/DL stuff in an area of the store away from the regular customers, perhaps an alcove behind a curtain towards the back of the store.  That would do two things.  Give the fetish customer's a little privacy from the stares and glares of people who still don't understand the fetish and why a normal adult would go around in diapers and baby clothes.  After all, those like AluminumBlack have a hard enough time working up the courage and getting over enough embarrassment to go in and talk about their fetish and buy adult baby diapers to begin with, without having to do it openly in a showroom full of regular people getting their perscriptions.   And as I said, it would also keep the fetish stuff away from the vanilla customer's coming in for their wheel chair and ostomy supplies.  If you think of it from their standpoint, not only do the old arguments crop up that they think we are pedofiles and sick, but an elderly person who has become incontinent and is having a hard time dealing with having to wear protection could become really upset that he is suddenly in that situation and he has to look at people coming in who choose to wear diapers for fun and enjoyment.

The way the world has become, there are way too many stupid changes already.  People ordering everything on line from their computer or smart phone and having it delivered by drone.  Having a code so the delivery man can go into their house to leave a package.  Using your smart phone app for everything including paying your bill at a store credit card machine, and my favorite.  Ordering your groceries on line and waiting out in the parking lot for someone to bring them out to you!  The latest - order a pizza on your smart phone app with whatever toppings you want on it.  Pay for it with your phone.  get a code number.  Go to the pizza place, put your code into an automatic vending type machine and your pizza comes out!  Seriously?  Are we in that much of a hurry or that fascinated watching a pizza come out of a vending machine? Too much over use of technology for just stupid everyday things.  When you look at some of the really dumb things people have gotten in the habit of doing these days as just their normal every day way of life, going to a store to openly buy your AB diapers  and clothing in front of other people just doesn't really seem as bad as it sounds.

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I for one am glad that there is a move out of the closet for us.

I am glad that there is a wide range of nappies and clothing available. Its all about supply and demand, once the web became a way for us to communicate with one another many of us realised we wern't the only one to have these desires, that were not sick in the head to want to wear a nappy.

I am more at ease and relaxed about this part of my life than i have ever been, and that is a good thing. vive la difference

And i didn't choose to be AB/DL Nor did i Choose to be gay they are both just a part of who i am.

Would i like AB/DL to be as more acceptable as LGBT?  Absolutely!  And i for one have no problem with any equating of the two.

Maly.

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On ‎10‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 12:52 AM, Harumaru said:

Considering how many people have gotten hurt precisely by it not being mainstream and accepted, there's no way it becoming more mainstream is a bad thing. We should be accepted just like anyone else. There's also the fact that "incontinence" diapers have taken to scamming incontinent people in recent years with subpar products, so AB/DL products are a must for them nowadays.

You know....I was just thinking about this exact subject the other day.  I can't believe that North American products have become so sub par that they're really a joke in some instances.  I couldn't imagine being full on bowel and bladder incontinent and being stuck with Depends or Attends nowadays....

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53 minutes ago, drynot said:

You know....I was just thinking about this exact subject the other day.  I can't believe that North American products have become so sub par that they're really a joke in some instances.  I couldn't imagine being full on bowel and bladder incontinent and being stuck with Depends or Attends nowadays....

It's only because they have all concentrated on their pull on disposable underwear instead of incontinence diapers.  Light bladder leakage and disposable underpants is where the market and money is these days.  Even before disposable pull on underpants people with light bladder leakage who really didn't need an actual diaper had to wear them because that was about all they could get.  Some companies that make the pull on disposable underpants still make diapers, but they are cheap, almost as an afterthought to the market.  Why do people think adult diapers in stores are getting harder to find and are so cheap?  Because people who really need them buy good quality diapers on line, not the average poor quality store type diapers.  I expect one day you won't even be able to find tape on Depends in your local grocery store.  Every adult diaper will be replaced in stores with disposable underpants.

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Personally I am very happy that it is becoming more mainstream. I have had great experiences at the Rearz store in Waterloo (I am from there) and at incontinence stores in Toronto, Ottawa and now Montreal. While I don't always find ABDL diapers I appreciate being able to buy in person really good quality ones like Abena and Forsite AM/PM. I find the staff always supportive and friendly without being too many questions. I for one am happy about any progression in a community that for me has carried an intense amount of hiding and shame to the point of it being super unhealthy. I'm hoping the trend continues myself.

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I don't know that it's necessarily a good thing, to be honest. It has nothing to do with being or feeling special. I just don't think exposure is a good idea. I don't wish to be "accepted" by the general population, because it's my private business. Every time one of us has gone on t.v. or whatever, they're basically there to be mocked. My freedoms aren't being infringed upon, so why on earth would I need acceptance from a mob that would probably just mark me down as someone who's mentally unstable? Jesus, people can't get around the idea of people marrying who they want, and I've seen so many ignorant comments calling homosexuality a mental disorder. I can't even imagine something like this being in the open.

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53 minutes ago, vampire4 said:

I don't know that it's necessarily a good thing, to be honest. It has nothing to do with being or feeling special. I just don't think exposure is a good idea. I don't wish to be "accepted" by the general population, because it's my private business. Every time one of us has gone on t.v. or whatever, they're basically there to be mocked. My freedoms aren't being infringed upon, so why on earth would I need acceptance from a mob that would probably just mark me down as someone who's mentally unstable? Jesus, people can't get around the idea of people marrying who they want, and I've seen so many ignorant comments calling homosexuality a mental disorder. I can't even imagine something like this being in the open.

Excellent point!  I would never out myself as a DL and I'm way in the closet.  Only people who know are those on this site and my DL friend who passed away last year.  Being in the closet, I don't really care much one way or the other about acceptance but there are those who do, those who feel they must tell their friends and family about their lifestyle.  For them, getting more out in the open and accepted is a major thing but I think it will be a long time coming, even though there have been many strides made in just the past 30 years.  I know Angela Bauer will probably remember 20 or so years ago when on the Montel Williams show what it was like with the audience.  Likewise the Jerry Springer show and Phil What-His-Name Donahue show where the AB people were forced to act really bizarre.  Even that one TV crime show that I don't recall had the business man killed in his home in all his AB clothing and diapers.  The lifestyle is still ridiculed by most regular people but at least people are becoming more aware of it.  The LGBT lifestyle took a long time to get where it's at and there are a whole lot more of them!  Also, where it is now acceptable to be a gay contestant on a game show or be out in public with your partner, I doubt if it will ever be acceptable to walk down the street or appear on Wheel Of Fortune in just a diaper, onesie and pacifier.  It's one thing to want the lifestyle to be out there and known, it's quite another thing to do it so tactfully that people won't hold it up to ridicule and think we are pedofiles and wierdo's.

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Well yeah, but being gay and our thing are so different. I mean, yeah, none of us chose to be this way, but with the lgbt crowd, I think a lot of people were able to be sympathetic to them....because their basic rights were being infringed. Our rights aren't, so I feel, if anything, the lgbt crowd might resent such a "coming out", and more ignorant people would simply roll their eyes, convinced that freaks like us coming out is just another sign of the end times, or the further degradation of the world's supposed morals all that.

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So, about gay people being accepted and such in public. That aint happening. I get that straight people think they are accepted, but just today, I was denied an autoloan because the banker, and I quote, "I don't make deals with fags."

My HOA for my condo just told me I have a month to evict my girlfriend because the MOI prohibits same-sex cohabitation, so I have to choose fines, kicking my girlfriend out, or filing a lawsuit.

LGBT are not accepted in the mainstream yet.

And diapers are even further away, and not even related. This is closer to BDSM than it is to LGBT, and you don't see the BDSM community, generally, wishing they could walk around town with their sub in a gimp suit. Time and place.

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To clarify, I was not comparing LGBT with diapers.  What I was doing was stating how long it took for one type of controversial lifestyle to become relatively accepted (LGBT) and how much longer it will take for the AB/DL lifestyle to become accepted based on the type of lifestyle it is and how much fewer of us there are overall when compared to other lifestyles like LGBT or bondage, for example.

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I like where it's going. I like that the store in question is doing what they want to. I would never want ABDL relegated to only a back-room segregated from everyone else. But they might do better with the ABDL stuff being less visible to all walk-in customers without being totally hidden from those who want to look around. It's their choice- let them make it. It's a business so they will reap the outcome of their choices which I hope are good. As can be seen in our Incontinence forum, there are several who wear for need that also like printed diapers even if only occasionally to break the monotony of life and to just have some fun wherever you can. Most of the Incontinent are aware of us, but many have never seen the variety of diapers we have today so why not give them that chance? We all know there's nothing wrong with ABDL so why not let the world see that too? To those who are closeted and won't go there because of the exposure, that's your choice and you deserve having that choice too. Nobody is making you go there and you can get everything online in the shadows if you so wish. You're not losing anything by their having their ABDL department exposed to the general public. You get the outcomes of your choices too, just like everyone else. What nobody gets is the right to tell someone else what to do, where to put their ABDL items, or whether or not to let anyone walking into the store see them.

Bettypooh

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4 hours ago, rusty pins said:

To clarify, I was not comparing LGBT with diapers.  What I was doing was stating how long it took for one type of controversial lifestyle to become relatively accepted (LGBT) and how much longer it will take for the AB/DL lifestyle to become accepted based on the type of lifestyle it is and how much fewer of us there are overall when compared to other lifestyles like LGBT or bondage, for example.

Being gay is not a lifestyle. No more so than being straight is a lifestyle. Calling it a lifestyle implies choice.

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50 minutes ago, GhostGirl said:

Being gay is not a lifestyle. No more so than being straight is a lifestyle. Calling it a lifestyle implies choice.

I think you might be picking apart the wording just a bit. Being AB/DL isn't a choice either. But to outsiders.....it's seen as a lifestyle. An alternative lifestyle. Not saying it's right but.....I mean here we are in the Our Lifestyle area.

 

Most people who are different don't choose to be that way, we just are. No one is trying to claim that being AB/DL is as hard as being gay.

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People can pick the fly $hit out of the pepper all they want to, but my actual meaning is clear enough.  Who gives a rat's a$$ if it's a lifestyle or not.  That's semantics.  The point is some "groups" (or are they not groups either?) have gone though many years of ridicule, being outcast and labeled before they started to gain some acceptance.  Those who like to play at babies or wear diapers (I won't label them for fear of more semantics and pepper/fly $hit picking) will most likely take an even longer time to start being understood or gaining some acceptance based on what they like to do weather it's right, wrong or misunderstood.

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I thought it was clear Rusty. And may I just say, my earlier predictions seem more likely based soely on this interaction.

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5 hours ago, rusty pins said:

People can pick the fly $hit out of the pepper all they want to, but my actual meaning is clear enough.  Who gives a rat's a$$ if it's a lifestyle or not.  That's semantics.  The point is some "groups" (or are they not groups either?) have gone though many years of ridicule, being outcast and labeled before they started to gain some acceptance.  Those who like to play at babies or wear diapers (I won't label them for fear of more semantics and pepper/fly $hit picking) will most likely take an even longer time to start being understood or gaining some acceptance based on what they like to do weather it's right, wrong or misunderstood.

The term lifestyle is often used against LGBT communities to water down what it is to be gay. Lifestyle does imply choice in the matter. This is used to justify the existence of gay conversion camps, the labeling of gay and transgendered people as mentally ill or social deviants, etc.. Its semantics to you, it is a big fucking difference to me, because that word is used to delegitimize how I feel, and what I am attracted to all the freaking time.

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To me this diaper thing has been with me since 6 years old, so I knew back then I was attracted to being a baby again and diapers really pinned that need to be babied and be one again. I think it's just a kink, like cross dressing, men wanting to wear woman's shoes or whatever that is not "ordinary" I don't see AB/DL as a lifestyle at all or being related to the LGBT crowd either. It was MY thing, MY special deal that was all me, but now I know it is not just me by far, and now actual medical supply stores are stocking AB/DL stuff...it's crazy.

 

 To be honest I am going back tomorrow and pick up a couple more things....They have a sleeper with snappies in the legs plus I wanna get some Simple ultras and Tykables.

 

It wa sjust so weird to be buying ABU diapers and adult onesies with baby prints....in front of another person that is not AB/DL at an actual medical store....Still trying to wrap my head around it and I am guessing AB/DL stores to be hitting the malls.  

 

Also I don't think it is fair to have all the AB/DL stuff in front of the "normal" customers...... What id they need adult diapers and pick out some ABU kiddos then think WTF? is this?...

Still don't know if I want this kink to get biggr than what it has become.

Someone mentioned the AB/DL that ar on talk shoes and what not.....it makes me cringe to see some of the dumb asses representing us....I hate that some of them go on stage all diapered up, it makes me sick, but I have exceptions like Riley Kilo....she handled it nicely and represented us greatly.  I still don't want us on talk shows....it makes me mad, bcause it makes me feel like a freak  and I am on stage for people to make fun of.  

 

 

 

 

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On 10/15/2018 at 9:47 PM, GhostGirl said:

The term lifestyle is often used against LGBT communities to water down what it is to be gay. Lifestyle does imply choice in the matter. This is used to justify the existence of gay conversion camps, the labeling of gay and transgendered people as mentally ill or social deviants, etc.. Its semantics to you, it is a big fucking difference to me, because that word is used to delegitimize how I feel, and what I am attracted to all the freaking time.

I understand and accept your aversion to the word "lifestyle". Jerks have turned it into a slur. Of course, said slur shouldn't be used against ABDLs either. (But, to me " lifestyle " is a fine word when used in a friendly manner. Reminds me of the word "liberal". The ass who sired me can't pronounce " liberal" without sneering. So, if I were to be foolish enough to contact him I'd be tempted to sneer "conservative" a few dozen times.)

And no, being gay is nowhere near as difficult as being ABDL. Heck, being a gay ABDL is way easier than being a straight ABDL. If I could flip the switch and become gay I'd do it with no hesitation. (Of course, straight v lesbian ABDL is a different calculation. What's your take on that?)

Oh, and when people denigrate the gay lifestyle they generally are thinking about flash and sparkle and flaming. You know, in your face stuff, as opposed to sexual orientation. That can spread to pure bigotry, but the vision that drives the bile is prancing and flaming, not some regular Joe or Jill who happens to be homosexual. (And no, I'm not looking down at loud and proud. Heck, I'm 24/7 super thick cloth, pull on jeans, and fun t-shirts. (My Ernie shirt gets the most compliments from women.)

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If homosexuality were purely genetic then all identical twins would have identical orientations. A recent study suggests that 65% of gays' identical twins are also gay. Interestingly, 30% of nonidentical twins of gays are also gay. This shows strong causality and a lack of a single 'gay gene'.

But 'whether' being attracted to men, women, diapers, and/or laundry appliances is a choice isn't the proper question. Instead ask, "When might it be a choice?" After all, infantile amnesia makes any claim that "I was born this way" kinda difficult to swallow. Heck, I doubt the structures that control orientation are finished until after birth. Genetics, how chemical gradients tell the foetus to grow, and life. Which brings me to...

But if there was a choice it was made by a very small child who likely had no clue or interest in sex. Perhaps he chose to toddle into his mom's closet and inhaled the wonderful softness. From that moment on it wasn't a choice.

Not much of a choice when you don't have a clue that you're making it. And who would blame that little kid for his choice?

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I don't think we should go as far as "blaming" anybody.    There's theories inolved in "love maps" that say triggers can cause fetishism and perhaps homosexuality, and I'm not sure why you would blame anybody for having those triggers in their environment.    It's not like someone intentionally went out and exposed themselves to the "gay virus."

I'm pretty sure my diaper fetish comes ancillary to some child abuse I experienced early on.   

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On the word "lifestyle" it is neither clearly defined nor is it denigrating though some intend it that way. Long ago I was at an ABATE meeting where the discussion turned toward the fact the Bikers were also living an "Alternative Lifestyle" and that we should use that term to show our tolerance of others and that there are plenty of alternative lifestyles like hunters, fishermen, mountain climbers, racing fans, computer nerds and so on- all who tend to align with certain traits of others like themselves based on their predisposition toward that thing. Yet each was still an individual and just being a Biker didn't mean we were grungy mean evil and nasty drunks and drug addicts. In fact few of us were like that. So our embracing the term "Alternative Lifestyle" and showing we weren't that way with our charity assistance events would help defuse the negative image so many had of us. It was a lifestyle indeed, but not necessarily bad- only different :biker_h4h:

So here I'm a "DL" even though that term often implies a sexual aspect to it which I lack. Among us I embrace the term "DL" and it's lifestyle. Nothing wrong with "AB" or "IC' or even non-wearing. And each of those terms will bring us a mental picture of how we view the respective "Lifestyles" yet we all know that like me there are exceptions, and that in the end it's hard to precisely define any of us except as individuals who share a common interest. Individual "Lifestyles" but also with a thread running throughout all the individuals which brings us together that somewhat gives us all a "Lifestyle" in general terms ;) I ran into the same thing with being TG. No, I'm not a "Drag Queen" or "Crossdresser" nor does it define my sexuality. and doesn't indicate me being "Transsexual" either. But I'm definitely TG and I lived that "Lifestyle" though mine was different from those others.It seemed I was constantly having to explain that to others but I didn't mind because it opened their minds and it defused their ability to use the term disparagingly with me :)

So rather that letting their words create something negative in you, just turn it into a positive for there are many like you and in fact almost every "Lifestyle" is an "Alternative" one, even theirs!

Bettypooh

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