Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

My mom opened my package from north shore


Joep

Recommended Posts

The OP is 18, able to vote, and enlist in the military. In most jurisdictions considered an adult, however still living under a parents roof. The 18-year-old is and should respect their parent's rules of the house. Parents, many of them live for the day the kids are out of the house and on their own, or in college, the military etc. Attempting to flex your adult rights should be only done if you have an alternative location of residence ready.

When I was 17 my mother said, "my house, my rules." If I lived under her roof, I had to abide by her rules. I decided I didn't want to live under her roof and enlisted. I never went back home to live and very seldom visited because of her stern rules.  She did catch me one-time stealing diapers and made me take them back to the woman and say I was sorry for taking her babies diapers. I collected books and AB/DL items over the years and went through binge and purge periods, but never talked to my mother about my sexual tendencies or love of diapers.

Link to comment
11 hours ago, DiapersOfTheStorm said:

Frankly Rusty, this whole discussion could be half the legth it is as lot of it are unnecessarily repetitive statements of what is legal or not, when there was hardly any disagreement about legality to begin with.

I agree!

And true, I've gone further than just sticking up for someone's children. I'm still not going to restate, rephrase or change my opinions, including the ones I expressed in my posts you've summarized here.

And you shouldn't have to change your opinions.  It's just that some people have different opinions which is why we can discuss them and point out our different views. 

I know people who are living with their parents way longer than is normal. One of them is about my mom's age, and while he does work and I suppose makes decent money, he's this kind of know-it-all who's completely useless at any manual work, or just anything practical in general, except his personal hobbies. I don't know what he'll do when his parents, who are now in their seventies, die; I guess he'll go straight to a nursing home. Who should I blame, him, or his parents? I don't blame him, I pity him. I know his parents, they're good people, but it's their fault, being constantly too soft on him. But throwing him out now would solve nothing. He's utterly unprepared, has no clue how to do his own shopping, how to cook, wash the dishes or laundry, and if he was suddenly thrown in the cold reality of the world, he'd end up badly. Probably dead. Nobody would benefit from that, since he's at least making some kind of contribution to the society by working as a teacher. And just like anything else, learning how to deal with the reality of the outside world takes time, it can't be done all at once, and just because 18 is the number of years that makes a legal adult (in many parts of the world but not everywhere), it doesn't automatically mean it's the number of years it takes to make a person ready. It's very individual, its a combination of nature and nurture, like many other things.

It's true that people have different abilties.  As much as I would like to do technical things and be good at math, I have more of an aptitude to see the whole picture and come up with a solution on how to fix it.  An engineer such as a friend of mine would take 30 minutes reviewing everything and mathmatically trying to come up with a solution.  By that time the bus would have crashed through the fence!  Yes, some parents are harder on their kids by forcing them out into the work place while others may not prepare their kids for a future on their own.  It could be the kid has no aptitude and is just unable to grasp the tools he needs to make it on his own, or it could be he doesn't want to and his parents are way to soft on him and just enable him in not supporting himself.  There are all kinds.  Some for one reason can't live on their own, but I would bet that is a small majority.  I would guess there are more parents out there that just let their kids sponge off them or are afraid to stand up to them.  I 100% agree that some are ready to move out at age 17 and some may not be ready until they are much older.  Parents need to weigh everything.  Is the person ready to move on his own?  Would he be better off to live at home a few more years and save money to further his education and skills?  That is one of my points and yes, parents and adult kids need to be flexible based on the whole situation. One size may not fit all and I don't see where 18 is an automatic age to kick someone out, especially if you have not prepared them for it through their teen years.  Some will join the military right out of high school to get a free education and training.   Others, if parents are OK with it, may live at home through their college years if they live close enough to university in order to save money.  God knows tuition is high enough as it is without housing added to it.  If the person you spoke about's 70 year old parent's haven't kicked him out by now, I doubt they have any plans to do so.  Unfortunately, it does harm the fellow if he has never been prepared to know how to live on his own, pay bills, manage finances, buy food and clothing and the like.  That's never a good thing.  Likewise, even if a kid is ready to move out on his own at age 18, parents might just want them to continue living at home if they are planning on their child going to college, especially if they are paying for it or helping with his tuition.  If they want the best for their kid, they may want him to succeed with a good career and high paying job that requires a good college education.  Business, lawyer, doctor, etc as opposed to kicking him out with just a high school diploma and having him work a minimum wage job the rest of his life with not a lot of chance to move up the ladder.  It could very well be the parent's who want their kid to stay at home instead of kicking them out at age 18.

If I had children and wanted them to leave home at certain age, I had better done my best to make sure they are ready at that time. If they're not ready, and I'd just toss them out the door anyway, and something terrible happened to them, I couldn't look myself in the mirror, and rightly so, because a lion's share of the fault would be mine. And if by some sheer luck they'd make it, my conscious would still not be clean. So instead, if they're not ready to leave at the age I set for myself and them to be the age they should [be ready to] leave, instead of just shoving them out mindlessly, I'd rather think back, see what mistakes have I made and correct them, and if I conclude I have not made any, go with the option that someone just takes a few months or years more to reach that kind of maturity. That's my position.

Perfect!  I 100% agree with you!

This person I was talking about, many might think is a lost cause. I think there is a solution still, it would just take time and gradually increasing assertiveness, not a sudden shock therapy, which would probably end with him having another heart attack.  The thing I have the biggest problem is the one-size-fits-all approach. People are different, situations are different, and just because someone has a specific experience, doesn't make it applicable to all people in all situations. Knowing the necessary facts about the person and their situation in detail is important if I want to make some kind of moral judgement that I intend to present as highly valid, and this knowledge can't be reliably replaced with assumptions and guesses.

And again, every person and situation is different and I do agree.

I can to do that for myself in daily encounters on which I can't afford to waste too much time, in fact in some cases it's even necessary to make a prejudiced quick decision, like if I should avoid going through this nasty parts of town, or not give any money to the homeless bum who smells like booze and looks like he could easily away with my wallet after I pull it out. But we're not under any kind of pressure here on this forum, so I see no need to make such judgements.

All good points.  Last thing I may say about it (maybe).  I'm sure in Joep's situation his mom doesn't plan on kicking him out, at least there is no indication of that.  Some people here may advocate at age 18 get out on your own.  That's their opinion weather we agree or not and we are free to discuss it and point out our own views.  Others may feel different.  That seems to be what this thread has turned into, a forum on when a parent should kick their kid out of the house and why, and weather it's the right thing for them to do just because the kid happened to turn 18.  The original thread was about Joep's mom critisizing him and berating him because she opened a package of diapers he had ordered and was not happy her 18 year old son has decided to wear diapers. (bold and underline is meant for everyone who has posted a reply in this thread).  She already knew he likes wearing diapers but hates that he does and Joep seemed put out that she critisized him for it.  That is the reason for this thread which has morphed into so much more.  It's OK to discuss the different views everyone has, but getting back to Joep's original post, his mom has the right to speak her mind about what he does in her house that she doesn't like.  It might not be the best way for her to handle it or for their relationship.  She may still feel she has to try and teach him what she thinks is right and wrong, but it's not about her kicking him out of the house.  She can do that if she wants.  It's about the fact that while Joep is living in her house, he may have to put up with her critisizing about his diaper wearing and other things he may do that she doesn't like.  If he can't take it or they can't come to a meeting of the minds, he has an option of staying and putting up with it or moving out to get away from it.  And to be fair about it, we are talking 2 different generations here.  Mom may not remember many of the things she did at that age that her own mother was against.  Times change and not always for the better.  You do have to admit kids do some pretty dumb things such as teens texting naked pictures of themselves to their friends and cyber bullying.  Back when Joep's mom was 18 she probably didn't even have a cell phone let alone a smart phone.  Mom may be out of touch with a lot of what teens do these days, and I don't mean the bad and stupid things a lot of them do.  Just things everyday teens do that their parents themselves didn't do.  That doesn't make the critisizm Joep's mom gives him for wearing diapers right, but it's the way she sees things and she doesn't like that her son does it.  That is her right and weather it may be prudent to argue with him about it, it's still her house.  To her, he is still a kid and a teenager and she is still in the mindset of trying to raise him and teach him what she thinks is wright and wrong, acceptible or not acceptible.  You have to remember a lot of people don't understand this lifestyle at all and think teens and adults are pedofiles because they like wearing diapers or acting like babies.  After all, you don't come across many people in everyday life that openly admit to it or openly wear diapers and those who do are looked down on as having something wrong with them, that is to people outside the AB/DL community.  Look at how long it's taken for Gay rights and for gay people to be accepted, and there are still tons of people who hate them and discriminate against them.  AB/DL's are even more in the closet and there are way less of us as well.  In another 4 or 5 years Joep's mom may take a different view and be more open or understanding.  By that time he will be 22 or 23, not an 18 year old still in high school and she will gradually realize he is doing pretty well with his life.   Mom may just have to get over the fact that her boy, still only 18, is technically an adult and while she can try and offer him her own guidance on how she thinks he should act and live life, she also has to realize he is an adult, albeit a novice adult with a whole lot to learn himself!  A mother's natural instinct is to protect her children, and that includes scolding them when they do something she thinks is wrong.  A personal example.  I wanted to get a shotgun and go hunting when I was 20.  my mom was dead set against it even saying she didn't want me to bring a gun in the house.  I got a lock for it and while she didn't like it, she agreed to me having it in the house kept in a case.  When I wanted to get a .22 rifle she said, "You don't need another gun!"  I said, "I'm picking it up this weekend."  She went with me when I bought the .35 caliber rifle and she got me the next gun as a Christmas present.  Once they can see you are responsible and nothing bad has happened, they loosen up about things.

Bottom line is both mom and son could benefit from a calm sit down discussion of the matter like the 2 adults they are.  Joep can remain calm and try to explain the fetish, reassure her that it's not harming anyone, lots of people have the fetish, it does not have anything to do with actual children, the whole thing that has been mentioned time and time again in the forums.  Likewise, Mom has to put on her listening ears, open her mind, ask questions when need be and try to understand why Joep likes diapers without freaking out about it.  After all, she has probably never heard of the fetish or anyone liking to wear diapers as a teen or adult before and is upset her own pride and joy has this fetish.  They need to do it calmly.  Mom may still not like it but at least she may understand it more.  Likewise, Joep may come to understand more the reasons his mom gets upset by his diaper wearing and at least see her side of it even though he may not like it.  Anyway, Mom can still install rules in her home that must be followed and if Joep wants to continue to live there, he must abide by them.  The hope and best outcome is if they come to a meeting of the minds and an understanding of each other's feelings.  Compromise may come from it.  It might end up that Joep cuts back on his diapers or only wears in his room or when mom isn't around and he makes no mention of it keeping a very low profile.  Mom can back off and realize son wears diapers but as long as he follows rules, contributes to the household, keeps grades up or has a job either after school or is in coillege and is otherwise a model son, she can realize he is an adult who can make choices for himself, has to learn to fly on his own and let him have his space in regards to his diapers.  After all, they are both supposed to be adults now and should back off the arguments and try to talk things out.  It would be a healthier situation for both of them.

Please!  Everyone!  Just because I highlighted my opinions in red within DiapersOfTheStorm's own message does not mean I have aimed all my comments at what he himself posted.  My comments are meant for everyone who has posted a reply to this thread and for everyone reading it, not to look like I'm arguing with DiapersOfTheStorm or making my comments just for him in reply to what he wrote. 

Link to comment
On 10/8/2018 at 5:43 PM, Spokane Girl said:

I collect Social Security so that makes us do very good financially. 

Hmmm, never seen those words together in a sentence before. Have you thought about starting your own business. If your doing well financially, then you should be able to do it at your own pace till you get things going.

About the original topic, living with your parents is alright if you are going through a crisis, but once you are back on your feet, you should get back out there. I am not one of those helicopter parents that likes to control them when there that age by making all kinds of rules, because that would mean I already failed as a parent. By the age of 18, my children should be able to make responsible choices without me telling them what to do. I know that might sound silly, but it's true. On the other hand, I know what freeloading looks like too, but dealing with that situation is not as easy as it sounds, hope I never have to.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 10/8/2018 at 6:02 PM, Glennie said:

ok i never once said she had a disability.. she is a person that is just lazy and refused to better her situation. because I was paying for EVERYTHING... don't turn this into me picking on a disabled person. I never once said that a disabled person should go out and grow up and figure it out...I gave my daughter 5 years to better her situation and she actually made things worse.. the second she moved back in with us. she quit her second job..

I never said she had a disability, I said I realize she is probably just normal and this isn't the best she can do because she can do better than that is what I meant. I don't see how my post could get misunderstood when I was very clear in it. 

3 hours ago, Diapered Jason said:

Hmmm, never seen those words together in a sentence before. Have you thought about starting your own business. If your doing well financially, then you should be able to do it at your own pace till you get things going.

Then every person on disability should be starting their own businesses then so they won't have to collect any payments from the gov. They should also pop out children so they can get more money from the gov to do well financially. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Spokane Girl said:

Then every person on disability should be starting their own businesses then so they won't have to collect any payments from the gov. They should also pop out children so they can get more money from the gov to do well financially. 

So you are not doing financially well then? I understand the welfare system and it is very limiting and frustrating. It is a stop-gap measure, nothing more, don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. I don't know your situation, but believe me when I say the government is going to fuck you over the longer they support you. All it takes is one misplaced piece of paperwork that they lost, and you can lose it. So please, for your own benefit, think about how to raise your income in the long term.

Link to comment
House rules shouldn't be absurd though, and in my opinion, if a parents are like, "you're eighteen now, so starting today I no longer care about you and your well-being, which is why I can and will kick you out my house, unless of course you abide by all my rules, some of which will interfere with that part of your life that shouldn't be any of my business but I'm making it my business anyway, despite your being eighteen", then they're just being mean, power abusing assholes, and perhaps could use a few parenting lessons. 
It's not like Joep is doing anything illegal or harmful to anyone or anything. I could understand a no smoking rule since tobacco smoke tends to linger in things an it's kind of a fire hazard (speaking of which, Joep, what's your mom's stance on your pipe and cigar smoking?). I could understand a no guns or other hazardous objects and materials rule. Any rules that could be substantiated by some real, reasonable concern. I could understand a curfew, if not for worrying about one's son's or daughter's safety (since, as we've already established, they're eighteen, at which point the parents no longer care, if they consider kicking their adult offspring out as a real possibility) but for convenience such as not wanting to be woken up at 2 AM by them trying to unlock the door and mistaking them for an intruder.
But diapers? What possible concern does that raise in one's parent to include them in one of their not-allowed-in-my-house rules?
Really, some of the "as long as you live under my roof..." rules, such as "you won't be going out with anyone I don't approve of",  or "you better believe in Jesus and go to church and like it", and, especially "you will only wear things I approve of, diapers not being one of them", are absurd and simply should not be accepted. Your roof be damned. If you are imposing such rules, you're being a despot, not a parent. 
When I was living iny moms house, as long as I was still in college she and my dad were supporting me (my parents are divorced, dad wasn't living with us) . Once I started working, my mom and I just had a sit down to calculate costs and how money much I should give her each month, which is what I did after that. And it worked. No "you can't do this and that" rules besides what was already plainly obvious to me (and should be to anyone) and didn't even need to be said, (like don't make a meth lab in your room or build a greenhouse and grow Marijuana in it), no sticking one's nose in the other's privacy, no fucking contracts and lawyers and shit... I mean what are we, a mother and a son who also happen to be two reasonable persons, or an intrusive, annoying boss/landlord and the pesky employee/tenant? 

She doesn’t like tobacco pipes and cigars so I smoke outside and she still doesn’t like it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Link to comment
3 hours ago, Diapered Jason said:

So you are not doing financially well then? I understand the welfare system and it is very limiting and frustrating. It is a stop-gap measure, nothing more, don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. I don't know your situation, but believe me when I say the government is going to fuck you over the longer they support you. All it takes is one misplaced piece of paperwork that they lost, and you can lose it. So please, for your own benefit, think about how to raise your income in the long term.

We can pay all our bills and pay for my kid's school and pay for gas and our food. We don't get any other assistance but social security and Oregon healthy kids plan and Medicare. We can also pay off our credit cards and we use our tax return money for things like home repairs and car repairs. 

I lack talent and other skills that will give me higher income and cleaning doesn't pay enough. I can only work uneducated jobs and people have to want to hire me which is also tough. I have troubles getting a job while I can keep one. I have tried applying for other jobs in the past that isn't just cleaning but none hired me. I have thought about doing online prostitution and my only fear is becoming the female Chris Chan. I have thought about being a stripper too. I could just use my tax return savings to buy a stripper suit if I have to since I've read those can cost a $100. I tried to get into modeling too but got rejected. 

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Joep said:


She doesn’t like tobacco pipes and cigars so I smoke outside and she still doesn’t like it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes, that seems to be excessive however I am not you or your mother.  This is what I meant when I said you both should come to a compromise and meeting of the minds.  Seems like you have compromised by smoking outside so as not to stink up her house ( and I myself am against smoking - smells and harms your health but people are free to do as they please).  If you are willing to do all your smoking outside where she can't smell it and so it doesn't stink up the house, that is compromise and I can't see her getting on you about it (if she does - you didn''t say she was always on your back for smoking, just that she doesn't like it).  Also, you have to keep in mind why she doesn't like it.  Is it because she just doesn't want you to do it or is there real concern for your health, well being, afraid a smoking habit might hold you back from some types of employment?  Did she have a relative who died from lung cancer because he or she smoked?  This is where you stop and ask in a calm adult way, "What is it about my smoking that bothers you?  I really want to know so I better understand your point of view".  If she opens up and tells you, good.  If she just says, "Because!" then you are the more mature adult, at least in this situation.  Either way, when it's her house you abide by the rules or your option is a place of your own.  Think of it this way.  When you are in your 50's and your elderly mom has to come live with you in your home, you can say, "I don't like that soap opera you watch!  I don't want you wearing that perfume in my house and stinking up the place!  I don't want your stewed prunes in my refridgerator!"  You can make your own rules as rediculous as they may seem, the same way as your mom can make her own rules that seem rediculous to you in her home. 

Link to comment
On 10/11/2018 at 3:14 PM, Spokane Girl said:

We can pay all our bills and pay for my kid's school and pay for gas and our food. We don't get any other assistance but social security and Oregon healthy kids plan and Medicare. We can also pay off our credit cards and we use our tax return money for things like home repairs and car repairs. 

I lack talent and other skills that will give me higher income and cleaning doesn't pay enough. I can only work uneducated jobs and people have to want to hire me which is also tough. I have troubles getting a job while I can keep one. I have tried applying for other jobs in the past that isn't just cleaning but none hired me. I have thought about doing online prostitution and my only fear is becoming the female Chris Chan. I have thought about being a stripper too. I could just use my tax return savings to buy a stripper suit if I have to since I've read those can cost a $100. I tried to get into modeling too but got rejected. 

Well, what works is something you enjoy, but won't also have to report as income. Do you like going to garage/yard sales or thrift stores?

Link to comment
On 10/12/2018 at 8:20 PM, Spokane Girl said:

Yes. 

You can flip that stuff on eBay or similar websites. On eBay's site, you can look up sale statistics for any particular item. Overtime, you will learn what sells and how to sell it. You could easily make an extra $1000 a week. When you get to that point, you'll probably want to report it as an LLC, but till then you will not have to report it as income. That said depending on your county's rules, having an LLC is often a neat way to say you are employed, but not making much yet, so you could qualify for more assistance, like daycare and food stamps. But once you are successful in your business, obviously, you won't need them anymore.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Let see now, way back in 1982 on the day of my 18th birthday, I had been wearing diapers as often as I could and was buying my own diapers to wear for the past two years. 

The day started out normal, just like any other day living on the farm, woke up at O’dark 30 to go out to the barn and milk the cows, clean calf pens, clean the gutter, and anything else that was part of the morning ruteen. 

Once all the morning chores where done it was back to the house for a breakfast of oatmeal and toast. 

All was going as normal until breakfast was over and my father looked across the table at me and asked, you turned 18 today? I said yes it my 18th birthday today. 

He says, I thought so, happy birthday and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. 

I looked at mom and she just shrugged her shoulders which meant his house his rules. 

I went to my room, packed what few belongings I had, took them out and put them in the back seat of my car and drive away. 

Life on your own at 18 is no easy task but it taught me a valuable lesson, if you want it, find a way to earn it or do without. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...