Taken advantage of for too long.

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

Well, where do I begin? I have only known my Brother for 10 years, I guess you can say it is a good thing. Anyway, I understand that he does have a hard life, but, He brought the whole thing on himself. I would lend him money here and there, then, here and there, turned into every time I seen him it was " hey you have any money I can Borrow until the 1st of the month?" I usually would lend him money, and when the 1st came.   

- Me  : " so, you have the $50.00?"

-him: " Well, you see, so and so used my card and spent too much so I can't pay you back anything."

-me: "ok, just pay me when you can"

Mind you this whole thing went on for years. till last week. 

-Him :" Hey you have any money I can borrow?" 

-me :" Nope, all I have is (Insert said mount of money) and I need that to pay my internet bill.

-him :" Can I borrow it?" 

- me: " no I need it in my account to pay my bill. 

- Him: " I guess you don't give a shit about what happens to me and my motorhome"

-Me: "Fuck you, Fuck (name of room mate censored) and Fuck your piece of shit motorhome".

I don't know about you, but it was both harsh and felt great at the same time. I normally am not that type of person, but when you get burned out on something, my brain just said "Fuck It". I feel a bit bad, but the other part of my brain tells me that enough is enough. Sorry about the language. Mind you he is an alcoholic, weighs 526lbs and is homeless living in an rv. He had a chance to turn his life around but ruined it when he got drunk while in a hospital, got into an argument with a nurse because she brought him water instead of Milk. He Got kicked out because he threw a spoon at the nurse. I guess the term I can use here, "No use Crying over Spilled Milk" Much? Fuck it. I can go on and on and on about all the stupid, ridiculous things he did. I spoke to my Counselor about all of this and he told me "You can not help someone who does not want the help". 

[Warmwetandcozy]

Hey it was perfectly reasonable of you to tell him off after borrowing money multiple times and not paying it back he deserved to be told off some times you need to be kind and considearate other times you need to be hard and brutal you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink that was the perfect time for tough love believe I've dealt with similar situations  you were actually a lot nicer than most people are in that kind of situation 

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

1 hour ago, Warmwetandcozy said:

Hey it was perfectly reasonable of you to tell him off after borrowing money multiple times and not paying it back he deserved to be told off some times you need to be kind and considearate other times you need to be hard and brutal you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink that was the perfect time for tough love believe I've dealt with similar situations  you were actually a lot nicer than most people are in that kind of situation 

about as nice as it gets.  

[diaperedandspanked]

Next time he asks for money, and he will ask again, make sure the answer remains no. Time to break the cycle and stand up for yourself. good job.

[Bettypooh]

Your previous loans was enabling him to not take responsibility for the problems he created himself. Now he will either have to face his problems or find someone else to leech from. Anyone who truly cares about you wouldn't care any less if you didn't have something to loan or give them. Anyone who dumps you because you didn't have that didn't really care about you in the first place- you were just a source of money for them. Even if you have it, the next time they ask for money the answer should be "No" until you can determine which kind of person he is.

I'm a 'giver' by nature. I don't mind helping people at all. But the point came when I'd given so much that there was nothing left for me. That was the base reason I became suicidal and the reason my Clinical Depression blew up the way it did. In therapy I had to learn to first keep enough for me, and then after my needs were dealt with then I could help others. I couldn't really help anyone otherwise, because you can't give what you ain't got, so you have to take care of you first to have anything to give to someone else. Yes, I care about you but I care about me too, and I come first. I have to be this way to have anything to give you, don't I?

That's the bottom line here. If someone really cares about you, then they will not change that if your loans stop. If they do change, they never cared to start with and you don't need them in your life. Let them go and get on with your own life, just as you should be doing. If they get nasty about it, then "F you" is the correct response. Make it a permanent response until they change their ways and become worthy of your caring. If you too are a "giver" then find someone more worthy to share with. But always keep enough of you for you or you won't be any good to anybody- yourself included.

Bettypooh

 

[Cute_Kitten]

I've cut off toxic family members.  I know it can be hard- but you also have to remember to look out for yourself and take care of yourself.  Users won't care if they bleed you dry- they'll just dump and move onto the next person they can take advantage of.  

[WBDaddy]

Nothing at all wrong with cutting toxic influences out of your life, even if they're blood.  I haven't spoken to my own mother in several years because it was just long past time to stop her from hurting me over and over again.