Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

Empty nest time? Not if I can help it...


Recommended Posts

My wife & I have spent 20 years raising kids, and today's the day the younger one has gone off to college for the first time.  So once my wife gets back from taking her to her college accommodation, which will be this evening, it'll be just the two of us living here (and Binkie  the dog of course).  So I'm going to do what I can to take the place of the kids.  I'll still be the responsible spouse of course, but I'll also be a 2-year-old in nappies as much as I can be.  My wife is already my Mummy in some ways, but I've really no idea how much she's going to be comfortable with.  She knows I'm in nappies a lot of the time, but only when she's not been around.  That was her condition, for as long as the kids were still at home, and we discussed this 3 or 4 months ago I guess.  What I don't know is whether she can make herself comfortable with me being in nappies while she's around.

Anyway, she knows this is coming, it's just that neither of us knows how it's going to work out.  I'll be in a nappy when she gets home later (unless she phones beforehand to tell me not to, which is possible I suppose).  Will I be in a nappy overnight tonight?  No idea, but that's what I want.  Can I be in nappies permanently from now on?  I hope so, but quite likely it won't be as simple as that.  Will we be in separate bedrooms tonight?  I hope not, but it's possible.  Will she bring me a bottle of milk before she goes off to work on Monday morning?  I doubt it, but even that's possible.

Wish us luck!

Link to comment
3 hours ago, mike indiapers said:

I would love to hear an update on how things went when your wife returned home and whether you are now her little diapered one.

Well, no.  It's going to take a bit longer than that, being realistic.  As Mr Sea Otter correctly said!  We're getting things more out into the open though.  At least she now knows I want to be in nappies all the time.  She's not keen on being in bed with me in a nappy, not surprisingly.  And now she's away for a few days, so I'm a little diapered one, but on my own just now.  At least she's in no doubt I'm in a nappy while she's away though.  And I'll be in one when she gets back too.  It's whether she can adapt to be being in nappies during the day when she's around that's the first thing we've got to get sorted out.  If she decides she can't, then things aren't looking good.

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Stroller said:

 It's whether she can adapt to be being in nappies during the day when she's around that's the first thing we've got to get sorted out.  If she decides she can't, then things aren't looking good.

Just a word of advice.  Don't let your diaper desires and the fetish ruin your marriage after so many years.  Diapers are only one part of your entire life, although for you a big part.  You have gotten by for 20 years without being in nappies all the time.  Maybe for all those years you have been dreaming and anticipating the day when the last kid would be out on his own so you could have your wish of being in nappies all the time.  Maybe that has been a long time fantasy of yours that you hoped would become a reality.  Had you ever discussed it with your wife throughout the past 20 years, or is it something you just recently sprung on her?  You said, "We're getting things more out into the open though.  At least she now knows I want to be in nappies all the time".  She knows you want to be in them all the time, but that doesn't mean she's OK with it, especially if you hadn't said it 5, 10, 12 or even 15 years ago.  For example, did you ever say years ago, "When the kids are grown and move out I want to wear nappies 24/7".  Unless she has been well aware of your desires all along, it's a little unfair to spring it on her all of a sudden.  Yes, it can be a big life change for her that she wasn't expecting.  If she decides she can't go along with you being 24/7 in nappies, you said, "things aren't looking good".  I hope you meant things aren't looking good for your desire to go 24/7 and you may have to continue as you have been for the past 20 years and not, "Things aren't looking good for our marriage if she won't go along with my diaper desires of being 24/7".  You have a lot to lose just for a desire of going 24/7.  Don't let the urges ruin your marriage, life or relationship with your children.  If you separate from your wife, the kids will most likely find out the reason in time.  Do you want all that just to wear diapers 24/7?  

Link to comment

It sounds like Stroller has been looking forward to this for many, many years. That tells me it's not a desire, it's a need. Needs as long as they are safe and not illegal are are deep seeded and something that completes a person. I can completely relate to that. His wife also needs to understand this and if the relationship is strong will understand it. It should actually make for a better relationship. My need to do something that makes me feel complete was great for my relationship.

Link to comment

Thanks RP, but I have thought this through.  I can live without 24/7, but long term I can't take resenting not being able to wear when my wife's around, and always wanting her out of the way so I can change into nappies.  If we can't find a compromise we can both live happily with, the relationship's doomed anyway, even though we love each other.

Link to comment
18 minutes ago, Stroller said:

Thanks RP, but I have thought this through.  I can live without 24/7, but long term I can't take resenting not being able to wear when my wife's around, and always wanting her out of the way so I can change into nappies.  If we can't find a compromise we can both live happily with, the relationship's doomed anyway, even though we love each other.

I'm sorry Stroller but it sure sounds like you have a need verses a desire to me. Things like wanting her out of the way so you can change into nappies sort of states that. There is nothing wrong with needing to wear a diaper if that is something that helps you get by. The relationship should not be doomed if you have a long talk with yourself to accept the need and then a long talk with her to better help her understand your need. Hopefully it'll work out for you. May I ask if you use the diapers for it's intended purpose also?

Link to comment
21 minutes ago, incondl said:

May I ask if you use the diapers for it's intended purpose also?

Yes you may, and yes I do.  Generally just for wetting, apart from occasional accidents and for special occasions.

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Stroller said:

Yes you may, and yes I do.  Generally just for wetting, apart from occasional accidents and for special occasions.

Maybe that is what she cannot wrap her head around. That's a little easier to understand from her perspective. She just cannot understand it. My story is a little different in that I became urinary incontinent not by my doing so diapers were necessary for me. 5 years after that I developed a need for fecal incontinence also so I worked on that until that became reality. And I'm very happy for it. Zero control on both ends. My wife is perfectly fine with it because I was honest right from the get-go. 10 years later I freely go without any thought about it. But I'm also careful not to offend anyone.

Link to comment

She's known about it since shortly after we met, over 20 years ago, when our relationship started to become serious.  I had my own nursery with a cot in it at that time.  She hasn't really had to face up to living with it though, as the family had to come first.

Link to comment

Just to update this:  things are now going pretty well and I'm really happy.  Mummy's not happy with me wearing at night (we share a bed and both want to continue doing so), but she's OK with me wearing during the day, with the proviso that if she says so I must change out of nappies.  That's because she's really worried about friends or family finding out.  She'll probably get more relaxed about that with time though.  So, I'm now in nappies from when I get up to when I go to bed. ? It's a huge change for both of us, and I love her for it (well, I loved her before anyway).  I'm so much less tense and worried now.  I've written a bit more about it on my blog.

And we're both OK with not having the kids at home now - that was never really going to be too much of an issue for us.  Mummy's got enough on her hands with her job, and me, and worrying about helping her parents.  I've got plenty to do too, including helping my aged (real) mother out.  And it was time they left the nest.  They'll be back at Xmas!

Link to comment

She will get used to it. Understanding it is hard. Women are much better at understand the unexplained sometimes. It doesn’t change who you are. In many cases it make you better. 

Link to comment

This morning, before she went off to work, Mummy brought me a bottle of warmed milk instead of my mug of tea.  I think that's going to be every morning from now on, as long as there's just the two of us in the house.

Link to comment
19 hours ago, Newbee said:

I’m very happy that things are going well for you.

Thanks Newbee!  All this is so much easier with the support from the forum.  We're taking big steps, but at least I'm not doing it on my own.  I'm only too aware that Mummy is having to go through it without being able to share it though (apart from with me of course).  She's pretty unlikely to want to come on here, for instance.

Link to comment

I will say this You need to do something special for her. My wife/mommy works at a hospital, I usually have breakfast made when she wakes in the door after being up all night. I will give her a backrub and footrub before she goes to sleep. During the week while she is off, she usually has breakfast made and my work cloths ready. She will change me out of my cloth diapers into a disposable while I'm still laying in the bed waking up. I finish getting dressed and eat breakfast. Its like we get each other through the tough times of working . Go out of your way for her and she will open up even more for you. Here's a chance for you two get to know one another more then ever. Would like the link to your blog

 

Shawnie

Link to comment

This is a great story. A fellow 'empty nesters' I know what it means to be alone and have the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Being able to be openly babied becomes possible but we've always had to be aware that our kids tend to drop in unannounced and since they still have keys... they can come in without warning. We had to tell them that if they visit to ring the doorbell first in case' we were naked or something. The mere suggestion of catching us 'in flagrante' made them ring the bell so in case of being openly babyish, there was time to rectify it. So far, NO DISASTERS.

Take it slow, take it easy, but at the same time your AB need has been responsibly kept under wraps. It is now YOUR time. I just wouldnt couch it like that! LOL

Link to comment
10 hours ago, rosalie.bent said:

This is a great story. A fellow 'empty nesters' I know what it means to be alone and have the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Being able to be openly babied becomes possible but we've always had to be aware that our kids tend to drop in unannounced and since they still have keys... they can come in without warning. We had to tell them that if they visit to ring the doorbell first in case' we were naked or something. The mere suggestion of catching us 'in flagrante' made them ring the bell so in case of being openly babyish, there was time to rectify it. So far, NO DISASTERS.

Take it slow, take it easy, but at the same time your AB need has been responsibly kept under wraps. It is now YOUR time. I just wouldnt couch it like that! LOL

Thanks very much Rosalie.  And thanks so much for your book too.  I gave Mummy a copy of "There's Still a Baby in My Bed" months ago, and haven't seen it since, but I know it's been a help.

We live out in the country, & it's not likely the kids will drop in unannounced.  They don't drive, so they'll be asking for lifts from the station!  We'll be keeping the house pretty vanilla anyway.

Link to comment
On 10/6/2018 at 5:51 PM, Stroller said:

Thanks very much Rosalie.  And thanks so much for your book too.  I gave Mummy a copy of "There's Still a Baby in My Bed" months ago, and haven't seen it since, but I know it's been a help.

We live out in the country, & it's not likely the kids will drop in unannounced.  They don't drive, so they'll be asking for lifts from the station!  We'll be keeping the house pretty vanilla anyway.

I'm glad it has been some help. Sometimes, ANYTHING is better than nothing. Let me know if there is anything we can do to help make it a bit easier.

Link to comment

I’m a little surprised by the prohibition on bedtime nappies.  If you were to be limited by her to parts of the day then I would have thought in bed and asleep would have been the least “in your face” scenario.  The fact that it seems important to her that she not “see” nappies seems to me to be a bit of a warning flag.

I am however intensely interested in how this works out and how you manage the logistics of it (logistics would make a great blog entry). 

At some point in the future, I may want to try a similar venture (although as a DL, I would not be asking for a mother figure nor wearing baby clothes around the house unless you counted my underwear).  In fact my interest in trying this is starting to border on the obsessional.   I suspect I might get less push-back with permanent night nappies than daytime ones but there would be push-back for sure.  On one occasion when I stayed in nappies for a second consecutive night, there was an argument...

Link to comment
3 hours ago, oznl said:

I’m a little surprised by the prohibition on bedtime nappies.  If you were to be limited by her to parts of the day then I would have thought in bed and asleep would have been the least “in your face” scenario.  The fact that it seems important to her that she not “see” nappies seems to me to be a bit of a warning flag.

We sleep together, and I think it's more that she's put off by the idea of being in bed with a nappy.  I've got her feelings to think about, and I'm not going to push too hard on this one just now.  She's got a lot to get used to.  Getting used to seeing me during the day, & interacting with me when I'm wearing is going really well so far.  She has yet to see me in just a nappy.  No problem with carrying nappies around for washing, putting on, etc.  I've no reason to try to hurry things along too fast.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...