Socialization questions

[PamperDude]

Hello everyone, I'm pamperdude. I live alone in Davenport Iowa, and I have an issue. I have a difficult time finding social situations. I need to start hanging with people more. Does anyone have any tips for meeting people and making friends in general? 

 I have had a difficult past with abuse from my parents negltive treatment and foster care , and I just overcame homelessness. I could also use job searching tips.

I moved into an apartment house that has extremely nosey neighbors, I have only been here for 2 months and I have been served 2 courtesy notices about small insignificant issues e.g. walking too loud, ( I wear Ariat cowboy boots.)

  The neighbors are down the landlords throat every morning telling him about every breath I take. 

 Thank you for your advice in advance!

[Bettypooh]

I can't help much with suggestions with some of this which you're certain to have heard already anyway, but maybe we can get you to be a little more 'socialized' . Everyone has a hobby or interest, so pursue that and look for local folks who are into the same thing. If while out shopping or whatever you notice someone who seems to have that interest, make a comment to them and wait for their response to see whether to say more. Be friendly to those who don't get much of that like store clerks and the serving staff at restaurants. Smile and say "Good Morning" to the folks you have to interact with. At first that may not seem to do much with them but in time it will. And learn to be a listener which is half of the art of conversation. If someone seems to be feeling down, ask them if everything is OK then do or say do something to brighten their day. Learn to laugh and smile freely when appropriate and people will come to you wondering what you've got going for you that let's you be this way when most folks are otherwise. I tend to be a very private person but not wanting the loneliness which tends to come with this, I've learned these things myself and put them to use which has taken the edge off the problem. I still don't fully fit in anywhere but I can now be a part if society even if only at the edges. 

With your 'nosy neighbors' and their complaints, you might want to speak with them and attempt to make peace. Show them that you will try to keep from annoying them, but understand that there are people in life who want to be pissed off and they would complain if you handed them the world on a silver platter because it wasn't a gold platter instead. Not much you can do with those kinds, but you won't be the only one who notices this, which renders their voice less effective in causing you problems. They are here to teach you tolerance and patience, which is about all those kinds are good for. It doesn't hurt to try to be nice to them and at least others will see that you're trying. I detest having to "walk on eggshells" at home, which is why I've avoided apartment life and communal situations as much as possible. You might want to do similar when you can. 

On the job thing, all I can say is to do everything you can to make yourself seem like the person they want to hire, and be persistent in your efforts. Don't rule out any jobs that you can tolerate doing even if you don't plan to stay there because the first thing most prospective employers look for are people who are employed already- that at least shows that your willingness to work is there at acceptable levels. If money is really desperate look for anything you can get because that is better than nothing. I've spent an entire afternoon raking leaves for someone to just get $10 when I was broke and facing hunger. Anything which help's you get through is worth considering. 

More than anything, never give up because you're worth that effort. As long as you're trying anything is possible.

Bettypooh

[PamperDude]

Thank you soo much! I have an update: I just enrolled in college. I just have to Finnish my undergraduates and then I will be zooming. SCCC (Scott county community college ) 

[Diapered Jason]

Have something valuable to say and say it with confidence. People will like you more if you do, so start reading.