Madison's Code

[Jayme]

Finally found and caught up with the story. I have a suspicion that The bells have issues that have just barely broken the surface yet...

Madison, and Jamie both an relate to Littles in some way, not entirely bad or out of proportion for Jaime. Still on the fence with Madison.

Mr Bell, (Nightmare man) he is loud, judgmental, manipulative, and calculating.  He does what he does, whenever he wants. Similar to the sociopath/ psychopath arguement.

Ms Bell is an enigma, I haven't seen enough from or if her to get a good read.

Jamie's Mother is a single parent who is struggling to keep her head above water and hide it from her daughter.

Of course I could be wrong, I guess I'll have to wait and see...

Anyways Sophie thanks for sharing this with us

[Sophie ♥]

Thanks everybody for all the nice words!!  I would address them all separately, but I'm sleepy and lazy today.  I'll have another chapter up tomorrow.

I'm so glad everybody liked the bit about hide and seek.  As Kimmy said - the whole paragraph was very personal.  I was trying to convey what it's like when two people share something but neither one is willing to talk about it.  But it's not like, fear.  It's trust.  And little stuff is definitely one of those things for me.  I also wanted to really show that being there for someone didn't always require communication - sometimes just "being there" is enough.  And understanding.

My favorite thing about Jamie in this chapter is her constant need to /understand/ Madison.  Not just for her own gain, but for Madison's.  I really love Jamie as a character.  I think she's a great embodiment of some of my best traits.  And I think everyone needs someone so understanding and attentive, regardless of their interests and history.

[Sophie ♥]

Seventeen.

    I hadn’t planned anything in advance.  We had to stop off at Madison’s house to get the movie she wanted me to watch - Aristocats, it was called.  I told her to grab a few more movies too, just in case we wanted to watch another.  After all, we had quite an uneventful afternoon planned.

    “Do you want to bring your Polly Pocket?” I asked.

    She gave me a strange look, curious and uncertain. “Why?”

    “You’ve seen these movies, that’s all.  If you got bored you could play with her.”

    I guess that was the right answer, because Madison went back upstairs to get her Polly Pocket.  I couldn’t possibly understand the appeal of playing with a small plastic doll for as long as she did.  I’d catch her mumbling to it sometimes, but nothing above an inaudible whisper.  I wondered if she had any stuffed animals; I’d never seen her bedroom before.

    Our next stop: the gas station.  I actually needed gas, but it was a great place to pick up snacks too.  Madison went straight to the candy aisle and I tried to find a bag of chips that wouldn’t eat up what little spending money I had.  I wasn’t sure how Madison felt about off-brand chips, but they would have to do.

    “Which one are you going to get?” she asked me.  She was holding a bag of M&Ms, three sticks of Sweetarts, and a Ring Pop.

    “I have chips, see?” I held them up.

    “But don’t you want some candy, too?”

    “One more candy for me is one less candy for you, isn’t it?”

    Madison stopped to think about that for a minute.  Almost everywhere we went, Madison paid.  This was a very rare exception, and she wasn’t used to making such arbitrary decisions regarding money.

    “I’ll share with you,” she finally said, nodding her head with absolute certainty.  I had to stifle a laugh.

    “You do that.  Now what do you want to drink?”

    “Pepsi.  Or Mountain Dew.  Orrr…”

    I followed Madison to the wall of fridges, watching her pour over the colored labels.  She was sure in a good mood today, wasn’t she?  I thought again about Polly, the swing sets, the rabbit hole… 

    “Why don’t you get some juice instead?” Madison was just pulling a Pepsi out of the cooler when I made the suggestion.  A very weird suggestion, a suggestion one teenager doesn’t make to another teenager.  It felt awkward; it felt wrong on my lips.  But I’d gotten the words out already.  The hard part was over. “Juice is good for you,” I went on, “and you have enough sugar there for ten Madisons.  Right?”

    She just stood there, staring at me, bewildered… had I done something wrong?  Had I overstepped?  I wished I could read her mind, but not even the brightness in her eyes gave away what she was thinking.  Whatever I’d done — whether good or bad — had clearly caught her off guard.

    “I… uh.” She looked down at the bottle of Pepsi, then at the pile of candy in her arms.  Standing there in silence, hanging on a syllable… she reminded me of a watch that stuttered on the second hand.  Tick.  Tick.  Tick.  But she didn’t move forward, not until she did.  Tick. “Alright.”

    She put the Pepsi back in the fridge and went down the aisle to find a bottle of juice instead.  I finally let out a breath; I hadn’t even noticed I was holding it in.  Why was I so nervous over this?  Why was this so difficult?

    Madison and I met in the first grade: we were both six years old.  She was a very quiet girl back then, but she was always a good student.  She didn’t make a lot of friends until middle school.  Her color blindness bought her a lot of interest, and after some attention her disposition was radiant.  By the time high school started, everyone knew about Madison Bell in one way or another.  Everyone liked her.  Except me.  Maybe I just liked to buck the trends.

    But now, here I was, a sixteen year old high school girl babysitting that same six year old from ten years back.  She’d grown into a beautiful young woman, and at the same time, hadn’t changed a day.  Maybe this was too weird for me.  Maybe it wasn’t worth it.  But when she turned around and her eyes met mine, when I saw that shimmer of excitement burning her up in the best, brightest way… well, what really isn’t worth that?

    “Is this okay?”  The bottle she came back with was topped with Winnie the Pooh and a spout for her to drink from.  She pointed to the label. “It’s apple.”

    “That’s perfect,” I said with a smile I swear could rival hers if someone wasn’t paying enough attention.

    But wow, her juice bottle was expensive.  After paying, I could only put six dollars in my gas tank.  I took the bag in one hand and, without asking, used my other to take hers.  I felt a small twitch in her fingers as I led the way out of the gas station, but she didn’t pull away.  Was that progress?

    My house was remarkably cold when we got there, but the heat kicked into gear pretty damn fast.  I unpacked all the groceries and got the DVD player set up in my bedroom.  It was just after four in the afternoon and the sun was still up.  It seemed silly to suggest changing into pajamas so soon.

    Aristocats was a very fun movie!  Madison talked through the whole damn thing, popping candy in her mouth like her life depended on it.  She went through her cup of juice faster than anything, but absolutely refused to pause the movie to get more.  When the credits started to roll, Madison had finished two packs of Sweetarts and her bag of M&Ms.

    “Whatcha wanna do now?” she asked with the energy of Madison Bell plus two sticks of solid sugar.  The house was warm and comfortable.  The sun was still up, but with my blinds drawn and the way my window faced, it felt like late evening.  I checked my phone.  Almost six.

    “Let’s change into pajamas and we can watch another movie.”

    “Have you seen The Emperor’s New Groove?” she asked me.

    “Isn’t that about the guy who wore invisible clothes?”

    “…no?”

    “Then I don’t think I’ve seen it,” I admitted.

    “Oh it’s amazing, we are doing that one next.”

    She got up from my bed and fished her backpack up off the floor.  Madison had spent a lot of time in my bed; it was more comfortable to hang out in my room than in the living room.

    “I’ll go change and I’ll be right back,” she told me.

    “I’ll get you more juice,” I said, and followed her out of bed.

    I changed into my pajamas first: I had some plaid pants and a tank top I slept in most nights.  That would do.  Then I picked up her Winnie the Pooh cup and brought it with me to the kitchen.  Mom always kept apple juice in the house, though she so rarely drank it.  I checked the expiration date.  Looked fine.

    When I finished filling up Madison’s juice bottle, I screwed on the lid and held it up to get a closer look.  It really did feel like babysitting, huh?  Getting her drinks, watching kids’ movies.  And this bottle didn’t help either, did it?  I wondered if Madison liked sippy cups…

    Madison was waiting in my room dressed in her yellow pajama set from Walmart, with You Are My SUNSHINE written across her top.  The fabric hung loosely - maybe half a size too big - around her form, airy and light, gentle… personifying her.  I almost dropped her cup.

    I’d never seen Madison Bell so informally before.  I’d never seen her without her hair curled or without her socks or without her cardigan.  I’d never even imagined… no imagination could.  I knew her top was sleeveless, but she was wearing a gray zip-up jacket I had never seen before.  Her hands were in the pockets, but when she noticed me in the door she spread her arms wide. 

    “Cute, huh?  I’m glad you told me to get them.”

    “Very.  Very.  Cute.” Each word was its own breath — each word had to be.  

    “So, Emperor’s New Groove is amazing.  Just wait.” But I wasn’t sure anything could amaze me more today.

    I had hardly waited for the movie to start before suggesting it.  Madison had already started on her last stick of Sweetarts.

    “Could I do your hair?”

    “Huh?”

    “Like.  Brush it or put it up or something.”

    I expected bewilderment, like at the gas station.  I expected curiosity, like when I mentioned bringing her Polly Pocket.  What I didn’t expect was her mouth to hang open and her cheeks to fill up with a pinkness I had never seen in her skin.  But that was what happened.  She immediately lowered her eyes to the bedsheets and nodded her head.  Okay…

    “Sit over here, I’ll get a hairbrush.” 

    She didn’t talk.  Had I said something wrong?  Or was she shy?  I didn’t know what was so embarrassing about doing hair — Polly and I did it all the time.  And it wasn’t like we were doing anything else anyway, just watching the movie…

    “Oh my god, your hair is so soft.”

    Did she not use hairspray?  How the hell did she get it to stay like that?  I ran my fingers through the tips like water, twirling her curls, and letting them spring back into place.  This close, she smelled like strawberries and cream…

    I couldn’t explain the difference, not in actual words, but this was nothing like brushing Polly’s hair.  This was… overwhelming.

    “Sorry,” I muttered when the hairbrush got caught on one of the tangles.  She raised her juice to her lips and sipped softly while the movie played.  We didn’t talk, but I could feel her breathing whenever my hands would stray below her neck.  Was the movie almost over?  I had completely lost track of time.

    “I was going to do a braid, but your hair is a little shorter than mine.  Can I do pigtails?”

    She nodded.

    The disparity between this movie and the one before it was astounding.  By the time I had finished pulling her hair up in two symmetrical pigtails, fluffed out at the end by her curls, I was sure she had slipped out of the happiness and into the dull quiet.  I’d done something horribly wrong, and I had no idea what it was.  

    But when she turned to me, her eyes were glossy and bright, like she might cry, but I knew it wasn’t like that at all.  She smiled, the smallest smile, the most insignificant thing I had ever seen on her lips, but it felt anything but insignificant.

    “Thank you,” her lips said, but no words came out.

    That was the first time I wanted to kiss Madison Bell.

[diaperpt]

Jamie is being soooo careful! But she's definitely started down that rabbit hole! She's surprised Madison, but in the nicest possible way. Madison seems to be waiting for the other shoe to drop - it's all too wonderful for her to believe and she's afraid... maybe that Dad will come home from bowling??? ...but she's also very happy almost beyond what Jamie can read. And here comes the kiss, but more like a big sis kiss.

I'm loving this story, especially how Jamie is working so hard to find a way in to the real Madison. Sophie, is it too much an assumption to be thinking that just as you just said how you see yourself in Jamie, there's a fair amount of you in Madison as well... at least the Little part?? You are the Little and the story is about helping someone else understand, so you're playing Jamie as well for the explanation part? It seems clear to me, but I often assume all the wrong things!!

[Wannatripbaby]

55 minutes ago, diaperpt said:

Jamie is being soooo careful! But she's definitely started down that rabbit hole! She's surprised Madison, but in the nicest possible way. Madison seems to be waiting for the other shoe to drop - it's all too wonderful for her to believe and she's afraid... maybe that Dad will come home from bowling??? ...but she's also very happy almost beyond what Jamie can read. And here comes the kiss, but more like a big sis kiss.

I'm loving this story, especially how Jamie is working so hard to find a way in to the real Madison. Sophie, is it too much an assumption to be thinking that just as you just said how you see yourself in Jamie, there's a fair amount of you in Madison as well... at least the Little part?? You are the Little and the story is about helping someone else understand, so you're playing Jamie as well for the explanation part? It seems clear to me, but I often assume all the wrong things!!

I love how my comment about bowling has become this running joke.

Also i believe you're right. I think Sophie has, for the purpose of the story, split herself into 2 persons in order to more thoroughly examine the many facets that make up the girl we all know and love. ♡♡♡♡

[Sophie ♥]

1 hour ago, diaperpt said:

Sophie, is it too much an assumption to be thinking that just as you just said how you see yourself in Jamie, there's a fair amount of you in Madison as well... at least the Little part?? You are the Little and the story is about helping someone else understand, so you're playing Jamie as well for the explanation part? It seems clear to me, but I often assume all the wrong things!!

 

30 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Also i believe you're right. I think Sophie has, for the purpose of the story, split herself into 2 persons in order to more thoroughly examine the many facets that make up the girl we all know and love. ♡♡♡♡

Yeah, pretty much.  I mean, I wrote the story for LB so she could get to know me.  The best way to do that was not only to personify my little side, but also my attentive, compassionate, aloof side as well.  So both characters are very "Sophie".

On the other hand, a lot of Jamie is not me.  And a lot of Madison is not me as well.  They filled themselves in and became their own people in the end.  

[diaperpt]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I love how my comment about bowling has become this running joke.

I tossed it in because it was a spare...

 

2 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Yeah, pretty much.  I mean, I wrote the story for LB so she could get to know me.  The best way to do that was not only to personify my little side, but also my attentive, compassionate, aloof side as well.  So both characters are very "Sophie".

On the other hand, a lot of Jamie is not me.  And a lot of Madison is not me as well.  They filled themselves in and became their own people in the end.  

So now the game will be pin the parts of Jamie and Madison on Sophie!

[Sophie ♥]

51 minutes ago, diaperpt said:

So now the game will be pin the parts of Jamie and Madison on Sophie!

Oh goodness...

Please do this.  I would love that. XD

[Sophie ♥]

31 minutes ago, Hopsalot said:

You don’t happen to have a yellow you are my sunshine pajama set do you? @Sophie ♥

The pajama set is actually modeled after one that I own!   However, mine does not say "You are my SUNSHINE" on the front.  That idea was from a different shirt I saw a few years ago at the store.

Also I love my yellow pajamas (even though they are mostly grey).

[Wannatripbaby]

Let's see... I think It's pretty obvious you aren't colorblind, since you tend to work with color a lot.

[Sophie ♥]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Let's see... I think It's pretty obvious you aren't colorblind, since you tend to work with color a lot.

This is true!  I'm not colorblind. (Though Pudding and I have disputes over color a LOT, I'm sure one of us has partial color-blindness.) I actually got the colorblind idea from this kid I used to work with.  I hated him with a passion because he was a jerk to gay people (he didn't know I was gay!).  But I learned he was colorblind and was like "okay, what color is this?" and we organized colored pencils together and it was so interesting and cool to try to see the world the way he saw things.  So I used it as Madison's "interesting thing".  Though there's more on that later.  

 

[ELLIE52]

7 minutes ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Though Pudding and I have disputes over color a LOT,

I'm not colorblind, but I do find that the light blue excerpts are taxing on my eyes to read.  Sometimes I almost stop reading because of that, but I have learned to continue because I want to read the story.

[Sophie ♥]

1 hour ago, ELLIE52 said:

I'm not colorblind, but I do find that the light blue excerpts are taxing on my eyes to read.  Sometimes I almost stop reading because of that, but I have learned to continue because I want to read the story.

 Our light blue?  Oops... I'm so sorry!!  That shade of blue is my favorite color so that's why I use it, but I didn't consider that it could be detrimental to the reader...

Luckily this story isn't in color?  

[ELLIE52]

I remember when I first read your stories I wondered if there were persons who could not see some of the text.  I don't know how colorblindness works.

[Sophie ♥]

4 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

I remember when I first read your stories I wondered if there were persons who could not see some of the text.  I don't know how colorblindness works.

Hmm... I honestly don't know. O_O I can definitely imagine some of our colors are very difficult to read.  Especially some of the lighter ones.

Though I've only had complaints about a few colors in my day, and I try not to use those ones anymore.  Like yellow.  Ugh, that was an awful idea...

[chansu ragedashi]

54 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

I remember when I first read your stories I wondered if there were persons who could not see some of the text.  I don't know how colorblindness works.

Basically they don't see the saturation of color, just the contrast of the shade. For example, someone red/green colorblind cannot differentiate something that has the same intensity. Hex color code #FF0000 and #0000FF will look the same, but they can still differentiate both from white/black/any color they can see.

 

Hence why 'colorblind mode' in games tends to use strange bright and dark shades of purples and other secondary colors because it lowers the chance of someone being totally unable to differentiate what they see in the game.

[bbykimmy]

On 8/21/2018 at 11:06 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

“I’ll share with you,” she finally said, nodding her head with absolute certainty.

This is so Little it's amazing.  This is the essence of Little, distilled.  This gesture, this nod.  This is Little.  This is something that must just be as natural as breathing to Littles because every Little I've ever known does it.  I do it when I know I'm saying or doing something irrefutably childish, like it's my own permission to myself.

<3 Madison

On 8/21/2018 at 11:06 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

 “Very.  Very.  Cute.” Each word was its own breath — each word had to be.  

This line is the gold in the chapter for me.  This line is so artful, this line screams Sophie.  This is the essence of your style to me, it captures the feeling so succinctly, without any need for overwrought prose, it evokes the feeling so clearly and so cleanly.  I love it.

On 8/21/2018 at 11:06 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

That was the first time I wanted to kiss Madison Bell.

I may have said "YESSSS" a little too loudly when I got to the end...

Okay, you fibbed to me.  You said nothing much happened in this chapter when we talked, but you're a big fibberhead.  This chapter was amazing.  This is the essence of Little, this discovery, these blushy feelings over pigtails and sippy cups and juice.  You're capturing a part of Littleness, this gentle trepidation, this loving innocence that is so hard to express.  I don't know if I've ever done it this beautifully.  This chapter is a love letter to Littleness and it's beautiful.

This is non-sexual CG/l, this is gentle regression in the subtlest way and I love you for sharing it with us <3

[Sophie ♥]

52 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I do it when I know I'm saying or doing something irrefutably childish, like it's my own permission to myself.

Yes!  Like you're giving yourself permission!  That's a great way to phrase it.  And I absolutely do this.  Nodding my head to convince myself it's okay.

52 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

This line is so artful, this line screams Sophie.  This is the essence of your style to me, it captures the feeling so succinctly, without any need for overwrought prose, it evokes the feeling so clearly and so cleanly.  I love it.

 That's my STYLE?!  I mean, I absolutely strive to do this.  I love putting insane, indescribable, complex ideas and dumbing them down to a sentence or two.  I love when people read my work and say "I have never been able to describe this and you did it so perfectly in 10 words".  It means so much to me that this comes across in my writing, but I never thought I was good enough at it for it to be my style.  Ahhh.. *hides under my blanket in embarrassment*

52 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

This chapter was amazing.  This is the essence of Little, this discovery, these blushy feelings over pigtails and sippy cups and juice.  You're capturing a part of Littleness, this gentle trepidation, this loving innocence that is so hard to express.  I don't know if I've ever done it this beautifully.  This chapter is a love letter to Littleness and it's beautiful.

This is non-sexual CG/l, this is gentle regression in the subtlest way and I love you for sharing it with us <3

*talks from under my blanket* THANK YOU.  This story was always meant to be a way for littles to connect to non-littles.  I wanted it to be useful.  I'm so happy that people are connecting so personally.  I hope littles can use this story for years to come to help introduce difficult ideas to people who are important to them.

And Kimmy - your comments literally shake me to my core.  You don't tell me what you think of the chapter, you make me feel what you think.  And I just... I'm so glad you're here.  Thank you so much.

[Sophie ♥]

Eighteen.

    Madison Bell had her ring pop in her mouth for exactly fifteen seconds before she fell asleep on my shoulder.  I played with the fluffy ends of her pigtails and listened to her soft, even breathing.  That’s what happens when you fill up on sugar, I supposed.

    The movie ended.  I’d have to watch it again, because honestly, I had no idea what was going on.  There was a llama that could talk, and some fat guy, and what I assumed was a witch.  I didn’t move.  I didn’t wake up Madison.  I just wanted to let the night settle in around us.  I wanted everything and anything to be jealous of how comfortable we were.  I wanted it to last a lifetime.

    I heard the front door open.  Damnit.

    “Jay?”

    I shuffled out from under Madison’s cheek.  She toppled sideways onto my bed and sat up even faster.  Even through her half closed eyes, I could see her confusion.  I patted the top of her head and whispered, “Lay back down, I’ll be right back.”

    I shut my bedroom door behind me as quietly as I could.  Mom noticed.

    “Got a boy in there?” she asked.

    “Madison fell asleep.”

    “She’s not staying the night, is she?”

    “No, Mom.  I’m taking her home at ten.”

    “She should drive herself around sometimes.”

    “She gives me gas money.  I don’t mind.”

    “Don’t be taking too many handouts from that girl.”

    “I don’t,” I lied.

    She checked the thermostat even before she took off her work coat.  I preempted her question.

    “I turned it on when I got home for a few minutes to heat the place up.  It hasn’t gone back down yet.”

    “Lucky us,” my mom said, and went off to her room.  

    I snuck back into my bed with the lights out.  Madison had taken my advice.  I approached the bed so softly, so slowly, so afraid I would wake her up.  Each muscle of my body ached as I lowered myself into the sheets beside her.  I found a pillow and balled it up under my head, inching closer to the sleeping girl every minute or two.

    An eternity later, every bit of me was only a pencil’s width from every bit of her.  Our knees almost touched, our elbows, our foreheads… I could feel the heat fill up the space between us.  This is what I needed: not a heater, but a girl.  Madison.

    I closed my eyes and prayed for the first time since I was a kid.  I prayed for time to stop.

    “I have a problem,” I told Polly.

    “With Sunshine?”

    “Uh, yes.  With Sunshine.”

    February had grown very cold very quickly.  I was spending weekends at Polly’s again just so I could get some real sleep.  Madison and I had been out of touch for a few days - things kept coming up.  No Days for her.  Snow shoveling for me.  Most of my gas money came from shoveling snow, raking leaves, or mowing lawns.  Every now and again I’d luck into house-sitting a dog or a cat or a plant.

    “Was it weird?” Polly asked. “The kid stuff?”

    “Well.  Sort of.” I mean, weird as in: certainly not normal.  Not weird as in: I wouldn’t do it again. “But that’s not the problem.”

    “Okay, then what’s the problem?”

    “I like her.”

    Polly turned her head away from the TV and I watched my race car shoot past hers.  That was the first time I beat Polly at that game.

    “You like her?  Like her, like her?”

    “What is this, middle school?  Yes.  Like her, like her.”

    Polly turned back to the TV, then back to me.  I’d won first place.  The victory music was playing. “I mean.  Obviously.  But.  When?  How?”

    “On Monday.” I put the controller down.  Polly’s was still firmly in her hands.

    “Monday?!  You waited all week to tell me this?!”

    “I wasn’t sure.”

    “But you’re sure now?” she asked.

    I looked down at the bracelet she made me for Christmas.  It had been a month, and still, I hadn’t taken it off.  God help me… “Yes, I’m sure.”

    “Tell me everything!”

    So I told Polly everything.  I told her about the trip to the gas station and about the movie.  I told her about her pajamas and the juice bottle.  I told her about the way her hair felt in my fingers and how warm she was when we weren’t even touching.  I told her about wanting to kiss her.

    “Am I crazy or something?” I asked, exhausted from the long-winded recount.  I felt crazy.

    “No, you aren’t crazy,” Polly assured me.

    “Is she crazy?”

    “Probably, but in a good way.”

    I fell back on the sofa and covered my head with my arms.  Everything felt uncertain and scary.  It made me warm in a way I didn’t like feeling.  So I admitted:

    “I don’t know what to do…”

    “Tell her how you feel?” But even before I could say anything, Polly already amended herself: “No, never mind, that’s a terrible idea.”

    “How can I like her?  She’s so annoying!  She acts like a kid half the time and a zombie the other half!  I don’t understand anything she does, most of the things she says… is this just a silly crush?  Am I just lonely?  What the hell?!”

    “Hey, I called this months ago!”

    I gave Polly a sour look.  Was this real, then?  Did I actually like Madison Bell?  Ugh, I didn’t even know when I started tolerating her, let alone liking her!  This was a disaster…

    “What are you going to do?” Polly asked.

    “Nothing,” I sighed. “There’s nothing to do.  I’m still missing so many pieces to this puzzle, and maybe… maybe I’m seeing an incomplete picture.  Maybe I’m feeling an incomplete feeling.”

    “Maybe.” But Polly didn’t agree with me at all, that much was clear in her tone.  Honestly, I barely agreed with me.

    “I have to talk to her about this kid stuff,” I said. “I can’t put it together on my own anymore.  I need her to help me.”

    “Do you think she will?”

    “She has to.” She just has to.

[bbykimmy]

18 minutes ago, Sophie ♥ said:

    “Is she crazy?”

    “Probably, but in a good way.”

This is my favorite bit from this chapter.  As the conversation started, I was really afraid that cool artist Polly would frown on Sunshine.  Not because Polly is an especially judgmental person, but because it's an odd situation... and I project a lot into this story and rejection is kind of my biggest fear... so I'm unreasonably afraid of Polly rejecting Madison and thus Jamie in this instant.  My heart froze for a split second at "Is she crazy?"

Littles are a bit crazy, in my opinion.  There's something different about us (obvi) - for some it doesn't stem from trauma but for a lot of us, it does.

But we can be crazy in a good way.  There's nothing wrong with regression, and I have the feeling that this is the moral of the story.  Like, it could be the story's subtitle if it wasn't a massive spoiler   (It's not a spoiler if you've read to this point, Madison is a Little and that's pretty dang clear).

But this was a chapter without Madison, and a chapter without Madison is like a day without sunshine...

Yes, Madison has to help you understand, Jamie... but not for the reason you think.

[Wannatripbaby]

7 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

I closed my eyes and prayed for the first time since I was a kid.  I prayed for time to stop.

    “I have a problem,” I told Polly.

Shouldn't there have been some spacing or some asterisks between those 2 paragraphs?

Also I have to ask: is this story gonna break certain rules here like Untrained did?

[Sophie ♥]

6 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Shouldn't there have been some spacing or some asterisks between those 2 paragraphs?

Also I have to ask: is this story gonna break certain rules here like Untrained did?

We are eighteen chapters into a thirty chapter story.  The word "diaper" hasn't even been written yet.  And you're wondering if they are going to fuck?  Haven't you realized yet that I run the pace of a small, asthmatic turtle when Pudding isn't there to motivate me?

Yeah, there should probably be spacing or something.  I like abrupt scene changes.  Especially after cool one-liners.  But you're right.

[Wannatripbaby]

23 minutes ago, Sophie ♥ said:

We are eighteen chapters into a thirty chapter story.  The word "diaper" hasn't even been written yet.  And you're wondering if they are going to fuck?  Haven't you realized yet that I run the pace of a small, asthmatic turtle when Pudding isn't there to motivate me?

No no! I was worried because last time that happened you said you forgot it was a rule and I didn't want you to get in trouble.

[diaperpt]

There is nothing wrong with a small, asthmatic turtle... UNLESS you're writing a story!!!

 

Ooops... where did my patience go?

 

[foofybabykitten]

For some reason the idea of a small, asthmatic turtle is really cute in a pitiful, I want to cheer for it kind of way, you know?