The Moment You Knew

[Sailor Snow]

I was probaly around 18 and from what i remember i first discoverd abdl in a documentary it wasnt at that moment that i really got into it but after that i started searching online and got more into it that way.

[rosalie.bent]

Three years old thinking in bed that if I thought about nappies, my bed was usually wetter than usual. It was my first concious connection to nappies.

 

Michael

[ozziebee]

For me, this was about 4yo.  I'd discovered a pair of plastic pants, and decided to wear them over my undies, and under my shorts.  Every now and again, I'd sneak off around the side of the house and have a look and feel - this as all new sensations, something exciting, but also something I knew was wrong, and needed to keep secret.  Some time during the day, my dad and I went to the barber.  I remember sitting in the chair getting my hair cut, and feeling the plastic pants underneath the cape.  When dad had his hair done, I went and sat outside, and occasionally stole more feels through my shorts.   I don't remember how I was discovered, but some time after we got home, either mum or dad had cause to strip me, and I remember ending up under a cold shower for an hour, wearing nothing but the plastic pants.  Mum eventually saved me.

Because I was bowel IC through my childhood, I was sometimes put into nappies as punishment, and threatened with being put back into nappies for school.  In those days, disposables either weren't around, or were expensive, so it was a terry-cloth nappy.  Typically no plastic pants, though I remember I cheekily asked for plastic pants one night, after being quite publicly nappied in the loungeroom of a cousin's house.  Though a pair were found, they were too small.  Everyone must have thought this was punishment, but I loved it. 

I eventually started experimenting with baby nappies whilst in late high school (once I got a job and had some money) and into first year university.  I'd buy a packet of huggies girl nappies (white shell, pink inner liner, pink printed taping panel), and tape two of them together, and wear them.  At this stage, I was still bowel IC, but not as bad as during my earlier childhood.  I'd wet them, occasionally mess too, dispose of them in the outside garbage bin.  I kept the packet hidden out of site in my room.

At the same time I was experimenting, I was going through quite bad bouts of gender dysphoria, and would often use the nappy to remove the unsightly bulge down there.  I came out to my mum through letters, and in one I mentioned the nappies.  I soon started suffering from regular  bedroom raids, and have my girl clothes taken, but my nappy stash remained. 

Towards the end of living in that house, I discovered adult incontinence products, namely the green plastic-backed Depends, and the terrible belted pads.  I would occasionally go and buy more Huggles nappies, as they were more reliable.

As I was approaching my gender reassignment surgery, I discovered the very small ABDL community in Sydney - it must have been through Usenet groups and IRC channels.  Just after my surgery I started experimenting with regression and AB stuff, bought some terry-cloth nappies and plastic pants, bottles, some baby pacifiers, and loved it. 

Then I met up with two awesome guys, who I would visit from time to time.  They introduced me to AB properly, feeding me bottles, and sleeping in the spare room in a footed sleeper.  I loved that time.  They also told me about a medical supplier who sold proper adult nappies - Tena Slip Maxi and the purple Molicare, both thick and plastic backed.  I never went back to Depends or baby nappies after that.  

All the while I felt shame, and would often go through binge/purge cycles.  Life, future plans, and career interfered at this point, and I gave up my inner little baby girl, and hid the nappies away under the bed, only pulling one out from time to time to scratch the itch.

But I never forgot them.  The urge would disappear, then begin to appear in my dreams to the point where I could _not_ stop thinking about them.  The thought, the excitement, of wearing consumed me.  I had to scratch that itch.  I had one packet of Tena Slip Maxi that lasted some 12 years.  By the last couple of nappies, the glue in the tapes had turned to dust.

Over the last 10 years or so, I'd been having issues with bladder IC.  I think a few undiagnosed bladder infections maybe around 2009/2010 started it all, but I would get home from work to increasingly damp knickers, for which I'd get a bit irritated, and wear a period pad for a bit.  You'd think that a DL girl woudl love wearing period pads, right?  Not this black duck.

I flew overseas a few times, with the last time taking spare knickers and pads and pants on the flight, and needign to change at the other end.  After I got home the last time, August last year, I did something about it, and went to see a urologist. 

Now, I'm 24/7 in nappies, and loving every moment. 

[AluminumBlack]

earliest memory of myself engaging into AB/DL was at 6 years old.  I used to take a diaper or two out of my cousins diaper bag when they came over and stash it in my room then wear it at night.

[oznl]

I can remember preferences and practices that hinted at what I would later learn was ABDL tendencies back as far as 3 years of age!

As for the moment that I "knew" that ABDL was a thing.  I did write about that epiphany (if you have a fetlife account) a few years ago:

https://fetlife.com/users/445082/posts/1210796

[Craisler]

I can’t remember any specific time or incident when I suddenly realized I was a DL.  From my perspective, I’ve always been a diaper lover.  I was toilet trained (meaning I could stay dry if when I wanted to) by 2 ½ years old, but I still preferred using my pants, just because it was more convenient than going home to use the potty chair that was often stinky from earlier deposits.  As a result, I was often diapered during the day.  At night, I was always diapered because my nighttime wetting continued until I was nearly 10 years old.  At around 3 or 4 years old, I was hospitalized to surgically correct a minor genital birth defect. I vividly remember being jealous of other kids in the ward, some much older than I was, who were diapered. I wasn’t diapered because of the location of my surgery. So, my conclusion is that I was a DL by the time I was around 4 years old even though I had no concept of the term at that age.