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The Moment You Knew


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Does anyone remember that moment you knew you were attracted to diapers or into ABDL?  I would love to hear others experiences and whether there was a particular event or trigger that got you to where you are today.  For me, I remember a few experiences from childhood and as an adult that forged my journey into this lifestyle.

My attraction to diapers goes back to my youth and the fact that I wore diapers late into childhood.  I had mixed emotions about it, but do remember the very experience that flipped my feelings from one of diapers being a burden and source of embarrassment to one of feeling attached to them and never wanting to give them up.  I was in nursery school and the oldest kid there still in diapers.  I remember a particular day when one of the teachers came to me with a thick pamper in her hand to take me to the baby room for a diaper change and how special I felt at that very moment.  I had all her attention and felt no judgement nor guilt about still being diapered when she asked me to follow her and took my hand.  I don’t know why that event was so grounding, since this was a common occurrence at nursery, home and other places, but it must have been my age, self awareness and the teacher’s own treatment of me that day that completely changed my feelings toward diapers.  Once I was eventually out of diapers, I was very sad to let them go and jealous of the other toddlers still in them.  

As for my experience into ABDL, I remember finding an old penthouse forum while in high school and reading an article about another adult into diapers and being a baby.  It was fascinating to me that this type of lifestyle existed and that I was not the only one into diapers.  I had secretly worn diapers up to that point and felt so different for my attraction to them.  Once I discovered other adults enjoyed similar things, I sought out more abdl content and once the internet came about it was a going from a small creek into a big river with so much information and finding DFP as my first ABDL community.  That forum article was my moment of discovery into ABDL and it was over 30 years ago.  

Please share.

 

 

 

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I remember discovering the old DPF and [That site].com websites when I was younger. I had been fascinated by diapers for years before that, but that's when I realized this was a whole thing... with other people!

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For me it was the discovery of an ABDL community. I've been in diapers long enough for them to become an everyday norm and routine, but then I accidentally found an article in the internet, looked things up and realised (or maybe decided) I like diapers as soon as I learned there was such thing as ABDL at all.

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I came to appreciate diapers more and more when I was younger.  There was still the whole stigma bedwetting thing going on but I got over that when I realized that it was better to wake up in a wet diaper rather than a wet bed.  I guess things progressed from there.  I do recall wanting to find a girlfriend in diapers as I hit puberty so there's that I suppose....

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I was 6 or 7 years old when I became interested in wearing diapers again. 

Was at hometown paraide and saw two boys my age wearing nothing but a diaper as part of a float/advertisement for the new Pampers toddler size diaper. 

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When I was young (as in elementary school age) I would sneak the big JC Penny's catalogs my parents got and flip through the baby sections, absolutely fascinated by how adorable the clothes were, particularly the dresses and accessories. I never remember being in diapers as a kid, but I always tried to simulate it with bed sheets. I also remember visiting my grandpa's house and sneaking away to climb into the high chair stored in one of the spare rooms. Guess it's just always been engrained in my head.

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I have a vivid memory from maybe age 3. As best I can tell it is my earliest long term memory. I was at a babysitters house and I had wet my pants. I must have been in the potty training phase of life, because I wasn't wearing a diaper. She disappeared from my view and came back with a diaper in hand. I knew what was going to happen next, she was going to put me in a diaper, and I was more than happy about it.  Her mom stopped her though and told her she couldn't put me in a diaper.  I was sad and very disappointed but tried not to let it show, or at least that is what I remember. 

After that, I had reoccurring dreams about being put back in diapers. Not nightly or anything, but every so often the same theme - getting diapered. I knew I wanted it to happen, but was way too young to think deeply about it. 

I was probably in elementary school when I found some diapers at my grandmother's place and took them and tried one on. I loved it.

Years later, when I had money, I bought a pack of the biggest baby diapers I could find. They didn't fit really, but were close enough to make me happy. 

I was in college when I discovered DPF after I first saw the word infantalism in a Dear Abby article I randomly found in a newspaper and used this new thing called a Web Browser to search the internet. That really was the beginning of me really accepting that this wasn't going away, and accepting that I was OK with that fact. I decided life was too short to not explore my quirk and allow myself to be happy.

 

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For me it was a few weeks after my mom put me back in diapers for pants wetting.My mom was busy one time so my older sister said she would change me.Well I realy enjoyed er changing me.And she point blank asked me if I was enjoying wearing diapers?I told her I was.She said I have something you might enjoy.That is when she went and got my baby sisters bottle and put milk in it and fed it to me.So that is where my ab/dl started.Lord I look back on it now and think' they could never get away with doing that today.But things where so different back in 1964.

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As far as I know I was born a diaper lover, and still am today at 53 years old. However, It took like forever for me to find out I was not the only one with this rather strange desire, I was 32 years old. I never really grew out of my diapers for I have strong memories being some 3 maybe 4 years old wearing them, I like them better than regular underwear. I still love the feeling of wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants just like I was raised. I love the bulky feeling between my legs and the authentic look when diapered in cloth and plastic pants. I'm much more relaxed when all diapered up makes it me feel complete. So to get back to the OP question for me it has always been that way, although there must have been a time that I didn’t wear for I was fully potty trained on an early age, and that I do not remember.

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I wet the bed as a kid until I was almost 6 years old.  My mom diapered me for bed every night in cloth diapers and Gerber plastic pants, often in the living room in front of my dad and brother.  I remember one night when I was around 4 or 5, I suddenly became excited that I had on diapers and plastic pants under my pajamas and kept looking down inside at the plastic pants and feeling their softness with my hand.  I have no idea why I was all of a sudden turned on by being in diapers and plastic pants but I know that was the exact moment I was hooked on being a DL for life.  My parents never treated me different because I wet the bed and I was never embarrassed or humiliated because of my night diapers, therefore I never had any AB desires at all.  In fact, on vacations where we might have stayed with relatives I never wanted anyone to find out I was in diapers at night.  Hotels were ok, just not around anyone else.  To me wearing diapers is more exciting and perhaps sexual, but in no way do I feel any baby tendencies or want to.  That said, I was a DL after I stopped bedwetting but had no diapers or plastic pants anymore.  It wasn't until around age 12 that I started wearing diapers on the sly with Pampers and home made diapers.  I've been wearing ever since for fun and enjoyment.

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For me this was always. My earliest memories include the daydreams of me and my (alive) teddy bear playing and exploring, and I was always diapered. My bladder control issues kept diapers in the picture throughout my life. Occasionally I'd try a homemade diaper but those mostly failed, especially when I was drunk trying to put it on for bed. In my 40's I got online and eventually landed here on DD. Everything I'd found prior to this was AB oriented; I knew I was different, and I gained comfort with being DL. I bought a bag of baby diapers and taped three together, my first real diaper, and I knew right away that this was going further. I bought some adult-sized diapers, the old Ambeze ones, which confirmed my new direction. My bladder leakage, which I had under control for about 20 years, returned and I began needing pads in the daytime. As my control lessened I knew I'd need to upgrade to diapers. Being quite poor, when I happened across an EBay seller who had single-layer birdseye diaper squares cheap, I bought some and sewed my first cloth diapers and began wearing them frequently, especially at work. The usual worries went along with that and my wearing was constantly on my mind. Then one day at work after lunchtime I realised that I hadn't given one thought to my diapers for hours. I can't recall the date but I vividly recall the place and the moment right down to the teddy-bear plastics panties I had on. It was that moment when I knew for sure that this was me and that it was going to be forever. 

So while it's been a lifelong interest with me, that is the moment when I really knew for sure, and whatever burdens I'd carried about wearing began fading away to confirm that. I only wish it had happened sooner!

Bettypooh

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I thought I was the only one (or at least a very few) until I found the HSX forums on the old CompuServe around 1987.    From there I went to asfd on USENET and eventually to this forum.

 

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I knew I liked diapers at around the age of 13, didn't really know why, eventually I would make size 5  & 6 (and later 7) diapers usable for a short time by using 2 sets of Tabs and stuffing one diaper with another and I just knew it felt really good; which explained why I liked diapers I guess.

Eventually i found out about there being a significant ABDL community in the world (from many countries), and knowing that cemented that I'm not alone and made it easier for me to accept this part of me.

And then when i tried High Quality Medical Style Diapers I knew I would make it a more regular thing for me and now I always have a good stock of diapers around and it's my main stress reliever (way better than when I would Self Harm or way overdo drinking Alcohol)

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Thanks for sharing your moments and I enjoyed reading them all. It amazes me that my memories are still so vivid and strong regarding those moments in time that influenced my abdl feelings and desires.  They have not faded away, but stay with me and replay over and over as reminders to my past and the reason why I am wired the way I am to be attached to diapers.  I sometimes wonder what it would be like to not have these strong internal needs for diapers and Throuhg my own journey I have gone through a spectrum of feelings about it, from confusion, anger, guilt and finally acceptance and fulfillment.  I love to share with this community and look forward to reading more experiences of that moment you knew, 

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I never knew there was such a thing as AB or DL until about 10 years ago when I found the sites. Until then I thought I HAD to be the only one that was into this. I was a late potty trainer and bedwetter growing up. As I remember, I was about 7 when I started going in my pants intentionally during the day. I liked the feeling. I would wet on car trips and pretend to be asleep or would be playing outside and get an urge to poop and do it in my pants. Or go in my pants with the sitter. I stopped at about 10 but then at about 12 became curious again. I wet the bed on purpose. The feeling, the smell, the reaction from my mom...it was all just so intense! Not to mention I was at the age where “something else” happened too (my first org was in a wet bed). Soon I was wetting every night again, “tanking up” every afternoon so I would. I ruined a mattress (I miss that thing) and mom bought me a waterbed. Not long after starting to wet the bed again, I pooped in my pants. I hid that for the longest time. I had many doctor and therapist visits and many of those talks with my mom. I have since told her about being ABDL. Neither of us had any idea then!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I never knew anything about ABDL until I was a teenager, but before then I knew I liked diapers. When I was maybe six years old my Mom found an old swim diaper while doing a deep cleaning, (you know getting rid of old things, reorganizing, etc.) It was a pull-up style, I tried to hide it in my room; however my six year old brain chose the worst hiding spot. I tried to hide the diaper under a plastic play table, a table mind you that you could clearly see under from my doorway, I remember being a little embarrassed at Mom finding it but any distinct feelings are a bit blurry all these years later.

The next diaper incident was probably the incident that defined my interest in diapers. I was sleeping over at my Grandma's with my big sister and my little cousin, I was maybe 8 or 9 at the time and my cousin was in diapers. I remember staying up in my sleeping bag, waiting for my sister on the couch to fall asleep so I could get at the diapers; I eventually did, I grabbed 5 diapers and hid them in my night bag. When I got home I put one on and proceeded to wear it in my room, I vividly remember going through each diaper but I won't describe that. I threw the wet diapers into my bedroom trash can, I guess with my 9 year old brain I thought they would magically disappear like the garbage in the main trash can did, needless to say Mom found them and yelled across the house wondering why the hell I had wet diapers in my garbage. I just repeated I didn't know and eventually I was off the hook.

I didn't think about diapers again until I was 12 or 13 I think, It was at the babysitter's my Aunt's. In the summer all the kids would eat outside at the picnic tables, so I would eat quickly to be the first one done and excuse myself to the bathroom. I would take a diaper from the empty living room and put it on in the bathroom and wear it until I took a shower at home before bed. This is the point where my fascination in diapers became a love of diapers. Around this time was also my first sexual experience, which I was diapered for, you can imagine how that effected my sexual development. I would hide my used diapers in the back of my closet and throw them away in bulk when no one was home, but My usage was out pacing my disposal and my Mom found them, she smelt the stale urine while cleaning my room and subsequently my diapers. I was in the room when she found them playing PS2. I don't think I ever felt more embarrassed in my life, even if Mom was more worried then anything I was too irrationally scared to tell the truth and I kind of just refused to answer her, we never talked about it and we eventually moved on.

For a time after that I was too scared to wear any diapers for fear of being caught so I let the internet satisfy me. Where I learned about ABDL and CGL, I knew right away that I would love it and when I eventually did get to try it a few years later with everything; diapers, stuffies, clothes, etc. My love was only more affirmed, and the rest is history.

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#foofybabykitten - I began taking diapers when I was a teenager in situations similar to those you describe above.  I remember a few instances when we had friends of the family visit our home with young kids still in diapers and that I would take a diaper or two from thire diaper bag if the opportunity presented itself.  I also had a paper route during that time and would buy pampers with my paper money and go to an adandoned wharehouse to try them on and return to my happy days.  The comfort and security of being in diapers was like coming home.

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I'll bite.  For me it started at age 3.  I was out of diapers, and I was going to visit my grandparents for the weekend.  I guess for some reason, my mom decided it would he good to put me back in diapers for this excursion.  I remember being at the store with her and she bought a box of Pampers.  I was confused because I didn't wear diapers anymore.  Fast forward a tiny bit and I'm with my grandparents for the weekend.  I was out running errands with my grandfather and needed to pee.  My first thought was to tell him, but then I remembered I was wearing a diaper.  I had a weird feeling of pleasure.  I recognize in retrospect that it may have been my first feeling that was any kind of "sexual."  I also remember later, possibly the same day and my grandmother was changing my diaper on the bed.  I was on the edge of the bed and she was down on the floor changing me.  I was having a play argument with my grandfather about whether my pajamas were called "jammies" or "sleepers."  After the trip, I guess there were diapers left over so I remember my mom putting me in one and then remarking to my dad that "we have a Pampered boy."  Ever since that time, I wanted to be in diapers.  I wanted to recapture that feeling I had..

Fast forward to the era of the internet.  It was in it's infancy at the time, but since my father sold computers for a living we were relatively early adopters.  He got a book.  Kind of an "internet for dummies" before that series came out.  I saw in it a listing for a Usenet group alt.sex.fetish.diapers.  I was amazed that there were people into diapers.  I was probably 13 or 14 at the time.  

I never figured out how to access the Usenet group, but I knew now.  There were others!  

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I don't really have a singular moment. Mine is a series of moments spread out across my life from childhood until now.

When I was 4 or 5 my mom put a diaper on me to try and shame me out of having accidents while I was playing by myself... it backfired completely and I loved it, but I never actually bought or stole diapers as a kid or teenager. It was just a thing I would daydream about sometimes.

When I got older I got into pants wetting as a kink and that led to me experimenting with diapers as an adult. For the longest time I would just wear and wet one to get off occasionally, whenever the urge struck, until earlier this year when I just inexplicably got the urge to wear a diaper under my clothes one day... and I loved it! I felt like I had a sexy, kinky little secret that no one else knew about. ❤️ I had known about the abdl kink/community forever but wanted nothing to do with it up until that point (actually, truth be told, I had a lot of negative and hostile phobic beliefs about the AB community,) but once I realized that I was probably a DL I joined this forum and ADISC to read peoples' stories and hopefully meet some like-minded people.

I'm mostly on Tumblr now, but I still pop back in from time to time. ^^

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  • 3 weeks later...

To be honest, I can’t ever say I had a particular moment where it really clicked. They’ve always just kinda been on my mind. For one, I trained late (4 1/2), and some of my earliest memories involve potty training and wearing Pull Ups. I also wet the bed for a while after training, and remember putting on the old white Goodnites before bed.

There was another moment when I was about 10 or so. I was at the grocery store shopping with my folks, and we went down the bread aisle which was also the diaper aisle. There was a shelf display clipped on to the edge of the shelf, and glued to it was a Pampers Cruisers diaper, freshly re-designed. I walked over to it and touched it, and that warm, soft feeling hit my body and I needed more. I went back a few more times while we were there, and every time after until they did away with that display.

Then came middle school. Long story short, I was allowed to change in the school nurse’s bathroom for PE, and the special needs kids had diapers and Goodnites in there. I swiped one out of curiosity and put it on the second I got home. From that day on, I knew I was hooked on diapers, and I’ve been wearing ever since.

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