Doctor Visit

[ItsCordell]

Hi, I have lurked for a long time. But I decided to make an account to ask your opinions. I have had OAB with infrequent (1-2x month) urge incontinence episodes, very frequent night incontinence, and frequency/urgency all day every day. I’m also a DL. 

I have found that the anxiety of NEEDING diapers  doesn’t bring the same relaxation and coping that using them purely for enjoyment does.  Having urinary problems feels stressful most of the time - and im fairly sure that my issues are exacerbated by stress. 

I typically don’t need or wear pads or diapers during the day because when an urge comes, I usually have at least 10 minutes to find a toilet before things get dire. However, when I am traveling or when I know I will be in a unfamiliar situation, or when I am very stressed, I will often wear a diaper “just in case”. These have been very useful in those situations. 

So now, here’s my question. I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my symptoms - and I’m going to be seeing another urology specialist in a big medical center in a nearby metropolis. The  goal is to get a second opinion, find better treatment options.  Anyways, because it is a 5 or 6 Hour drive away,  I will naturally wear a diaper  for the trip. normally, I would change out of the diaper before the appointment because by the time you get to any clinic, there are plenty of bathrooms nearby. Anyways, I’ve recently got this desire in my head to just leave the diaper on for the appointment. I feel like it might be exciting. But I feel guilty about the thought because it’d be unusual for me and really not technically necessary. I’m 100% positive I can make it through the appointment without any problems, and I’ve excused myself multiple times in the past during doctors appointments to go to the bathroom when an urge struck. I mean, it would be less annoying to not have to run out, but that certainly doesn’t necessitate a diaper for anyone else who has these issues but is not DL.

Anyways, what do you think? Would it be wrong/inappropriate/misleading to do wear a diaper to my appointment given my circumstances? I don’t want to push the fetish side of me on people -  but I do have a Genuine issue as well. Thanks for your advice 

[incondl]

7 minutes ago, ItsCordell said:

Hi, I have lurked for a long time. But I decided to make an account to ask your opinions. I have had OAB with infrequent (1-2x month) urge incontinence episodes, very frequent night incontinence, and frequency/urgency all day every day. I’m also a DL. 

I have found that the anxiety of NEEDING diapers  doesn’t bring the same relaxation and coping that using them purely for enjoyment does.  Having urinary problems feels stressful most of the time - and im fairly sure that my issues are exacerbated by stress. 

I typically don’t need or wear pads or diapers during the day because when an urge comes, I usually have at least 10 minutes to find a toilet before things get dire. However, when I am traveling or when I know I will be in a unfamiliar situation, or when I am very stressed, I will often wear a diaper “just in case”. These have been very useful in those situations. 

So now, here’s my question. I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my symptoms - and I’m going to be seeing another urology specialist in a big medical center in a nearby metropolis. The  goal is to get a second opinion, find better treatment options.  Anyways, because it is a 5 or 6 Hour drive away,  I will naturally wear a diaper  for the trip. normally, I would change out of the diaper before the appointment because by the time you get to any clinic, there are plenty of bathrooms nearby. Anyways, I’ve recently got this desire in my head to just leave the diaper on for the appointment. I feel like it might be exciting. But I feel guilty about the thought because it’d be unusual for me and really not technically necessary. I’m 100% positive I can make it through the appointment without any problems, and I’ve excused myself multiple times in the past during doctors appointments to go to the bathroom when an urge struck. I mean, it would be less annoying to not have to run out, but that certainly doesn’t necessitate a diaper for anyone else who has these issues but is not DL.

Anyways, what do you think? Would it be wrong/inappropriate/misleading to do wear a diaper to my appointment given my circumstances? I don’t want to push the fetish side of me on people -  but I do have a Genuine issue as well. Thanks for your advice 

Don't worry about wearing in front of the Dr. or anybody else that may see you.  It's nothing new to them at all. I have to be diapered up all the time and I know for a fact it's commonplace. Get over the fear and know the protection actually is better than the rush to go to the bathroom. I'm sure the staff is happier you are protected than you going to the bathroom all over the floor that they will need to clean up

[Mr. Sea Otter]

1 hour ago, ItsCordell said:

I feel like it might be exciting.

I have worn a diaper to all doctor appointments for many years now. My reason for doing so is because I don't wear anything but diapers. I don't find it exciting or anything like that. If the only reason you are doing it is for a thrill, that to me is a red flag and not cool. 

Having said that, you certainly have a medical reason and I doubt anybody would blink.

[WBxx]

Seems to me wearing a diaper misrepresents your situation.  If sincerely seeking a solution, I wouldn’t do it.

[technomonkey]

my family doctor, pain doctor and urology doc all knows i wear diapers. i think they are more embarrassed to talk about diapers than me. they just call it DME products. this has gone on for the last 10 years or so

[stevewet]

4 hours ago, technomonkey said:

my family doctor, pain doctor and urology doc all knows i wear diapers. i think they are more embarrassed to talk about diapers than me. they just call it DME products. this has gone on for the last 10 years or so

Some of the diabetic nurses I see are a little unsure how to discuss my incontinene and dependence on nappies. I always tl them it doesn't bother me at all and I am completely adjusted to being incontinent now.

[rusty pins]

I agree with WBxx.  First, a diaper would be very practical for your long drive, plus the urologist would (or should) be aware of your past history since you mentioned, " I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my symptoms - and I’m going to be seeing another urology specialist in a big medical center in a nearby metropolis. The  goal is to get a second opinion, find better treatment options".  I think maybe forgo it in the doctor office itself if your main goal is because, "I’ve recently got this desire in my head to just leave the diaper on for the appointment. I feel like it might be exciting. But I feel guilty about the thought because it’d be unusual for me and really not technically necessary".  Not right to expose your fetish to others, even if it is your doctor just for a personal thrill.

With that said, the specialists at the urology center will be working to find causes and treatments that can work for you.  They may need to examine you and it could require removal of your underwear anyway.  In the course of your discussions with the doctors, if you must you can say, "I had a 6 hour drive here and due to my only being able to hold it for a very short time, I did wear 'protection', a disposable brief.  I'll be putting another one on for the drive home because I would have an accident before I'm able to find a restroom".  That way you are not interfering with their job and treatment options or imposing your diaper fetish (because you do say you are a DL), but you are showing them that your problem is severe enough that you will have to wear some protection in some cases, such as a long drive.  Even though they are technically diapers and a doctor may sometimes refer to them as such, I believe only we Diaper Lovers and Adult Babies would openly call them diapers when dealing with doctors or professionals, at least at first.  Perhaps after years of wearing you could call them diapers with your own doctor, but with someone you haven't seen before or have only seen a few recent times, "Protection" or "Disposable Briefs"  might be a more appropriate term to use rather than saying you have been wearing "diapers".  I sure wouldn't wear any AB or premium diaper either if your doctor or the urologist might see it.  That would be a give away that you are more into diapers than you should let on, even though you have a valid reason for wearing one on your 6 hour drive.  It would tip someone off that you have been wearing enough and long enough that you discovered high quality premium diapers for long time use instead of an off the shelf product for the now and then situations where you may feel you might have an accident due to not being able to get to a bathroom quickly enough.

[ItsCordell]

Hi, thanks all for the replies.

On 8/1/2018 at 6:47 AM, incondl said:

Don't worry about wearing in front of the Dr. or anybody else that may see you.  It's nothing new to them at all. I have to be diapered up all the time and I know for a fact it's commonplace. Get over the fear and know the protection actually is better than the rush to go to the bathroom. I'm sure the staff is happier you are protected than you going to the bathroom all over the floor that they will need to clean up

You're right, I'm not terribly worried who would see me per se. But because I'm going not anonymously, but as an actual patient, with actual problems...I'm worried about the consequences to my actual medical condition from making that choice. The likelihood of me making a mess on the floor is extremely low. So low that I believe it's 0%. It's never happened before, haha

On 8/1/2018 at 7:59 AM, Mr. Sea Otter said:

I have worn a diaper to all doctor appointments for many years now. My reason for doing so is because I don't wear anything but diapers. I don't find it exciting or anything like that. If the only reason you are doing it is for a thrill, that to me is a red flag and not cool. 

Having said that, you certainly have a medical reason and I doubt anybody would blink.

I honestly think it's a little of both. That's kind of why I ask. I do frequently wear diapers while traveling and when I know I'll be out and about and don't knwo what the bathroom situation will be. Tha'ts normal behavior for me. But I do have to admit that I'd find it a thrill. That's the honest truth. It wont' be the first time I've had a diaper in front of medical peopel; I've had hospital stays before when I was going through bedwetting and had to wear them. So IDK why the thought of it makes me feel like it might be thrilling. I have a similar reaction though. It feels like a red flag. 

On 8/1/2018 at 9:49 AM, WBxx said:

Seems to me wearing a diaper misrepresents your situation.  If sincerely seeking a solution, I wouldn’t do it.

Right, that's kind of my worry. I really am looking for a real solution to a real problem. I dont' want to screw it up.

On the other hand, I have been dismissed before by multiple urologists (not wearing a diaper) who essentially didn't take me seriously. I feel like it's possible that going in teh room without having taken off my travel diaper from the drive, I might demonstrate to him that i do indeed have a real issue that needs to be taken seriously. I'm not sure. But I agree with your line of thought. 

11 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I agree with WBxx.  First, a diaper would be very practical for your long drive, plus the urologist would (or should) be aware of your past history since you mentioned, " I’m still trying to figure out what is causing my symptoms - and I’m going to be seeing another urology specialist in a big medical center in a nearby metropolis. The  goal is to get a second opinion, find better treatment options".  I think maybe forgo it in the doctor office itself if your main goal is because, "I’ve recently got this desire in my head to just leave the diaper on for the appointment. I feel like it might be exciting. But I feel guilty about the thought because it’d be unusual for me and really not technically necessary".  Not right to expose your fetish to others, even if it is your doctor just for a personal thrill.

 

Right, that's the crux of it. In the end, I'm not sure I'll really NEED one while in the doc office. There will be bathrooms right nearby, very close, I'm sure, without doubt. And I can hold it for at least 10 minutes in almost all situations at this point - even with a severe urge. 

11 hours ago, rusty pins said:

With that said, the specialists at the urology center will be working to find causes and treatments that can work for you.  They may need to examine you and it could require removal of your underwear anyway.  In the course of your discussions with the doctors, if you must you can say, "I had a 6 hour drive here and due to my only being able to hold it for a very short time, I did wear 'protection', a disposable brief.  I'll be putting another one on for the drive home because I would have an accident before I'm able to find a restroom".  That way you are not interfering with their job and treatment options or imposing your diaper fetish (because you do say you are a DL), but you are showing them that your problem is severe enough that you will have to wear some protection in some cases, such as a long drive.  Even though they are technically diapers and a doctor may sometimes refer to them as such, I believe only we Diaper Lovers and Adult Babies would openly call them diapers when dealing with doctors or professionals, at least at first.  Perhaps after years of wearing you could call them diapers with your own doctor, but with someone you haven't seen before or have only seen a few recent times, "Protection" or "Disposable Briefs"  might be a more appropriate term to use rather than saying you have been wearing "diapers".  I sure wouldn't wear any AB or premium diaper either if your doctor or the urologist might see it.  That would be a give away that you are more into diapers than you should let on, even though you have a valid reason for wearing one on your 6 hour drive.  It would tip someone off that you have been wearing enough and long enough that you discovered high quality premium diapers for long time use instead of an off the shelf product for the now and then situations where you may feel you might have an accident due to not being able to get to a bathroom quickly enough.

3

I agree with all this too. I'm not sure though what to do. In all my previous interactions where I talk about diapers with professional people, I have never called them diapers, totally agree. I've called them "disposable underwear" or "disposable brief" or "pads" etc... I imagine I'd actualyl wear a thin light-erweight cloth-backed diaper into the appointment (something you might get in a pharmacy store) if I wore a diaper at all. 

Anyways, thanks for your feedback -- and please, anyone else with more thoughts, share.

[Bettypooh]

Though my actual need has increased to the point where I must be diapered constantly, I was at this exact point myself once. My conclusion was that I would not voluntarily expose someone else to my being diapered, but if that happened accidentally I would not worry about it. Even now I will wear a pull-up to make it easier for them since it's good enough for the short time I will have it on. I do not have the right to make anyone uncomfortable with being around me, but neither do they have the right to be critical of me over things I cannot help. I do the best I can for them and they will have to accept that I can do no better than that. 

No medical people have any right or expectation to you not being yourself as long as you aren't doing something just because it pleases you with no consideration of them. If you need diapers, wear them without shame. If you don't need diapers then don't wear them unless they are comfortable with it.

Bettypooh

[Craisler]

If you need to be diapered for the trip to the doctor’s office, then I see no reason why you need to remove the diaper before the appointment.  You can just explain why you’re wearing one during the examination. It seems like you’re overthinking the situation.  You need the diaper for the trip.  The fact that you like wearing diapers has nothing to do with your problem or the reason for the appointment and should have no effect on his ability to diagnose the problem.  I don’t see why your wearing a diaper during the exam would be misleading in any way. 

[incondl]

If it would help get yourself a penis clamp. It squeezes the penis so you will not leak. Believe me, after a few appointments you won't even think about it anymore. Incontinence whether it be by your own doing of not becomes a medical issue. You decide how to go about dealing with it.

[Soggy Bottom Boy]

My physicians all know that I am incontinent. I wear Depends pull ups to Dr. appointments. They don't hold much but enough for an hour or two. They can easily be removed and put back on if necessary. Many years ago I went to a physical therapy appointment not wearing protection and I peed all over the table and the floor. Wearing diapers doesn't embarrass me but accidents in public does. 

[ItsCordell]

11 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

My conclusion was that I would not voluntarily expose someone else to my being diapered, but if that happened accidentally I would not worry about it....If you need diapers, wear them without shame. If you don't need diapers then don't wear them unless they are comfortable with it.

Good advice, thanks. This is pretty much where I live. And I really only wear them either when I need them or when I’m alone and in private. 

This situation arose as complicated in my mind because for the drive to the clinic, 6hrs, I will be dispered because otherwise I might have an accident in my pants trying to find a bathroom along the interstate urgently. Normally, I would change out of it once getting to the clinic - which makes sense. But I had thought about just staying in it since it would be a novel experience, and maybe, maybe, be taken more seriously about my problems. But technically, as you say, I don’t think I’ll NEED it at that point. 

7 hours ago, Craisler said:

 It seems like you’re overthinking the situation.  You need the diaper for the trip.  The fact that you like wearing diapers has nothing to do with your problem or the reason for the appointment and should have no effect on his ability to diagnose the problem.  I don’t see why your wearing a diaper during the exam would be misleading in any way. 

Lol you’re right about me overthinking it!

i agree with you to a certain point. This urologist is in a large city and sees tons of people - I’m sure he’s encountered fetishists before. I don’t want to go in there wearing a diaper, something my experience tells me is an extreme last resort solution for someone with a major problem - not someone like me who might have significant leakage episodes a couple times a month (or at night). I wouldn’t want to jeopardize my care because the doctor judges that I’m only there for the thrill of it because of the diaper. 

With that being said, like I wrote above, I also feel like it might be possible that wearing a diaper will lead him to take me more seriously - understanding that for me, I’m so distressed about my issue that I would go to extremes of wearing s diaper. Of course, for me, the diaper might overkill if I weren’t a DL (but I definitely need them overnight) - the only times I have had my bladder completely empty while out have been while exercising. For this particular moment, the most likely leakage would be after a super urgent episode and having it start to come out before I’m at a toilet. More of them than not, I’ve had a wet spot on my pants or underwear, but not a flood. I have a hard time imagining my mom DL peers wearing a diaper for this kind of thing but idk, maybe we all just keep it s secret.  

[Bettypooh]

Given your replies, my own over-thinking has brought me another thought. Since you will be wearing for the drive and want to change for the actual examination, why not check in and ask the staff to direct you to a restroom where you can dispose of a used brief? Then mention your need to wear for situations like this to the Doctor when you see them. That would breach the subject without directly involving them in exposure. Then you can gauge from the Doctors response what to do next time, and of course use the same restroom to change for the drive home. The changing facilities will certainly be there, the Doctor will know your issue is serious, and no harm done to anyone.

It can certainly be a dilemma for those with partial or sporadic incontinence and those whose wear constantly but not always due to physical need. We too have a right to be comfortable with ourselves and as long as it's not purely driven by a sexual fetish, then some accommodation should be available to us in medical settings. Something of a balance should be there for everyone.

Bettypooh

[ItsCordell]

On 8/5/2018 at 5:31 AM, Bettypooh said:...why not check in and ask the staff to direct you to a restroom where you can dispose of a used brief? Then mention your need to wear for situations like this to the Doctor when you see them.

Thanks for the suggestion :) Always love to connect with fellow overthinkers haha :)

which staff do you have in mind with your suggestion? The nurse once I’m in an exam room? Would seem strange to me to ask this of desk staff...maybe in different language... “Where is the closest bathroom or somewhere I can change?” 

On 8/5/2018 at 5:31 AM, Bettypooh said:

Then you can gauge from the Doctors response what to do next time, and of course use the same restroom to change for the drive home.

I definitely think this is true regardless of what I do - it’ll certainly become more clear about expectations and this specific doctor’s attitude and what not. Also - if the closest bathroom turns out to be 2 floors away, that will settle a lot for me. 

 

On 8/5/2018 at 5:31 AM, Bettypooh said:

It can certainly be a dilemma for those with partial or sporadic incontinence and those whose wear constantly but not always due to physical need. We too have a right to be comfortable with ourselves and as long as it's not purely driven by a sexual fetish, then some accommodation should be available to us in medical settings. Something of a balance should be there for everyone.

This is kind of exactly what I’m trying to figure out. I want to be respectful of the fetish piece because it is certainly there - but I also have some medical stuff going on and at least some degree of “need”.

At what point is rushing around at a clinic trying to find a bathroom to change out of (and then back into) the diapers I actually need, in order to not expose them, just ridiculous and over-sensitive on my part? I’d rather just be confident in my self one way or another - whether it’s wearing to the appointment or not wearing. This second guessing everything is too stressful. 

[Bettypooh]

Stress is not a good thing. Here, it's happening because you have two motivations causing the same ending- wearing at the Doctor's visit. So maybe just decide that you're going to do it for the physical need and go with that. I mentioned changing for two reasons- First to show that it's a bit impractical unless you're wet and need it, and second to show that there is a away to breach the subject without just dumping it on them. 

In my early days of underwear cross dressing I faced a similar dilemma. At the time I didn't know that I was TG; in fact I didn't even know that such a thing existed. I knew there was something of a fetish involved for me but that wasn't the whole picture. All I knew for sure is that I was always dressed this way and couldn't stop myself from doing it. Initially I'd wear men's undies which made me feel like crap, partly to avoid exposure and partly for their comfort. At some point I saw that it was nonsensical and that it didn't really matter. I made the concession of wearing plain white cotton panties and went ahead. I got mixed reactions, occasional questions, and once in awhile a smile or frown. But what I got most was the confidence to be me, and to not worry about what others thought of that, because I wasn't wearing panties for them- I was doing it for me. I wasn't trying to involve anyone else even if that happened, I was simply wearing what I always did. 

You know that you want to wear. You know that in this setting it will be acceptable and understood. You know there's something of a fetish involved in the desire to do this but there's also a physical need too. There's no need to stress over it, just do it and try to keep the fetish part out of your mind. In the end your physical need might make this happen anyway. If you still can't decide then flip a coin and go with the results; by the time this visit is over you will know what to do next time whichever way the coin lands. And should you ever end up needing to wear physically this will help you gain confidence and mental comfort in doing that.

As long as you're doing it only for yourself and not trying to push a fetish onto those not wanting to participate in it, then I can see nothing wrong with wearing.

Bettypooh

[ItsCordell]

Stress is not a good thing. Here, it's happening because you have two motivations causing the same ending- wearing at the Doctor's visit. So maybe just decide that you're going to do it for the physical need and go with that. I mentioned changing for two reasons- First to show that it's a bit impractical unless you're wet and need it, and second to show that there is a away to breach the subject without just dumping it on them. 
In my early days of underwear cross dressing I faced a similar dilemma. At the time I didn't know that I was TG; in fact I didn't even know that such a thing existed. I knew there was something of a fetish involved for me but that wasn't the whole picture. All I knew for sure is that I was always dressed this way and couldn't stop myself from doing it. Initially I'd wear men's undies which made me feel like crap, partly to avoid exposure and partly for their comfort. At some point I saw that it was nonsensical and that it didn't really matter. I made the concession of wearing plain white cotton panties and went ahead. I got mixed reactions, occasional questions, and once in awhile a smile or frown. But what I got most was the confidence to be me, and to not worry about what others thought of that, because I wasn't wearing panties for them- I was doing it for me. I wasn't trying to involve anyone else even if that happened, I was simply wearing what I always did. 
You know that you want to wear. You know that in this setting it will be acceptable and understood. You know there's something of a fetish involved in the desire to do this but there's also a physical need too. There's no need to stress over it, just do it and try to keep the fetish part out of your mind. In the end your physical need might make this happen anyway. If you still can't decide then flip a coin and go with the results; by the time this visit is over you will know what to do next time whichever way the coin lands. And should you ever end up needing to wear physically this will help you gain confidence and mental comfort in doing that.
As long as you're doing it only for yourself and not trying to push a fetish onto those not wanting to participate in it, then I can see nothing wrong with wearing.
Bettypooh

Thanks so much, this is very helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time to go around and around with me

If is kind of funny how I change out of diapers to be in certain situations like that — its always/typically about stress or the worry of being found out. Take today for example, I was at a work seminar thing for part of the day and since I was going to be around people all day, I decided to forgo a diaper. I was in a situation where bathrooms were always close. But because I’m so frequent in need of a toilet, I ended up having to (a) either break off conversations kind of awkwardly to run away to a bathroom or ( stand and talk and not be “present” for the conversation because i was focusing on squeezing my bladder so I wouldn’t leak or have an accident right there. It would have been far less stressful to be able to wear a high quality diaper and just let it go so I could be present. That doesn’t technically quality as incontinence per se. But at what point does it become that when you have to run to the bathroom and constantly excuse yourself every 45 or 60 minutes?

Your analogy with TG/crossdressing seems quite apt. You didn’t realize how much of a “need” it was for you at the time perhaps... I wonder to myself how much extra confidence and “calm” that came to you once you just relaxed into it. ? I guess part of my problem is that I live in a small town and kind of have a prominent job - secrecy has been my friend all along and as long as I continue in the work I’m in, I’ll probably have to keep that charade up. That might be partly why I had the idea of wearing to this doctor...unlike seeing other doctors in my small town...its in a big city a long way away and so I’ll be anonymous (other than being tracked on my medical records).

I was thinking about perhaps trying to find some kind of compromise...perhaps wearing a men’s guard to the clinic instead of the diaper I will wear for the car ride — or maybe even a very thin set of pull-up type diapers — because those, to me, seem like the solution a “normal” non DL person with my issues would choose. That feels less scary, also provides some protection, and hopefully not pushing anything of a fetish on anyone...


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[deewet]

Interesting how this conversation keeps going round and round but still ends up at the same conclusion it seems.

I believe you answered  your own concerns with you conclusion  at the end of this last post.  I would also venture to add that if you are honest with your doc during your upcoming visit, that they would also advise you to start using protection and probably something suitable for the task.  And finally, plan on being told there will be a lot of testing to be done yet, but until there is an answer, be prudent and use adequate protection!

[ItsCordell]

Interesting how this conversation keeps going round and round but still ends up at the same conclusion it seems.
I believe you answered  your own concerns with you conclusion  at the end of this last post.  I would also venture to add that if you are honest with your doc during your upcoming visit, that they would also advise you to start using protection and probably something suitable for the task.  And finally, plan on being told there will be a lot of testing to be done yet, but until there is an answer, be prudent and use adequate protection!

Thanks, yes probably so This is kind of my M.O. — overthinking.

As it turns out, over the past few days I’ve been experimenting with men’s pads for bladder leakage and I’ve found them to be incredibly useful. When I get these really intense urges and I’m in the middle of a conversation or a meeting or something else where it would be rude or embarrassing to immediately run away, the pads have proven very useful. Instead of crossing my legs or focusing all my attention on flexing my muscles and holding back the flood, I can let a little out with the first urges and that usually will buy me in the neighborhood of 5-20min depending, until the same thing happens again. I’m not sure if you’d technically call this incontinence since I’m aware of and technically allowing the leakage. But I’d be in the bathroom all day long otherwise.

Anyways, I’m still not sure about what I’ll do with the doctor visit. It’s still several weeks away anyways; and at present, my symptoms seem to be worsening little by little over the past days/weeks.

With all that being said, I’m still not clear or sorted out on the excitement/thrill side of it. I remember the first time I had to wear a diaper in the hospital, I was SO SO embarrassed about it and did everything I could to avoid having any of the staff see it. One time a nurse came to check my abdomen and as she was pulling down the sheet, I quickly pushed down my shorts and diapers to the foot of the bed as this knee-jerk reaction to hide them. In that situation, I definitely wasn’t feeling the “Excitement” of wearing.




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One other side concern I have in this is that if I were to wear an actual diaper - and obviously I have some need that is in the ballpark somewhere - I’m terrified of getting aroused because of the excitement piece of it for me. Obviously, arousal is at least partially controlled by our brains, but also can sometimes happen against our will. I’m afraid of judgment/awkwardness or even consequences (getting kicked out of the clinic or something crazy) if that were to happen. I mean, that context is not sexual or anything; and obviously nothing sexual would be happening. But because diapers are a fetish for me, I always kind of have this underlying charge even though I’d not experienced arousal while wearing them on a regular basis for years.


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[ItsCordell]

Over the past few weeks my daytime symptoms have been getting worse. My urgency is more often and more intense. I think I’ve pretty well decided to wear a pull up that day, at least. Both for fear of leaking in the office and Also to make clear to communicate how serious my problem is. I’m not sure how exciting this might feel anymore - it is much more of a drag as time goes on.

[Newbee]

I recently had to do the same and I did find that it took some fun out of wearing either pull up or diaper 

[Bettypooh]

During my time in therapy, one lesson I took away was to not fight yourself, because that is a fight you can never win. When my physical loss of bladder control reached the point where diapers were going to be mandatory I had mixed emotions. It was exciting for my DL side, but worrisome that discovery might have bad consequences at work or with personal relationships. Over time all that settled into wearing just becoming normal for me. Nothing bad happens and some of the joy of wearing goes away but that's about it. Wearing for need can be a little troublesome sometimes but it isn't going to ruin your life unless you let it. So don't let it- it really is that simple. Simple doesn't always equal easy though. 

The bottom line is that if you have a physical need for diapers then there's no point in fighting it because you won't win. Until your Doctors are done just roll with the punches and see what comes of it all I the end. Whatever happens, you can handle it with the right approach.

Bettypooh

[ItsCordell]

Thank you all for your replies. I’m sorry if this is a dead horse that I keep one beating, lol, I’m just anxious about it and I want to be sure to be respectful.

Can you tell me what a normal, NON-DL person, who has newly developed incontinence would wear with a diaper/pull-up (especially when they are first starting to use those things)? Do people who are not DL tend to wear underwear over the top of those items, or just to wear it under pants/shorts like normal underwear?

I’m pretty much resigned that I need to wear protection to the doctor. For the past 2 weeks or so, I’ve been wearing pads at minimum at all times, and for any circumstance where I dont know about the bathroom situation, I’m wearing a pull-up, or even a diaper depending. So I dont’ think its misleading or any kind of fetishizing thing at this point.

Now I’m just confused about what is normal for someone who is not DL. Obviously, I like diapers and normally prefer to not have underwear over them at all — and I think that they work better without. But I also dont’ want to seem to eager/weird if that is unusual for newly incontinent folks.

Thanks for your continued advice!!


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[anned]

I typically don’t need or wear pads or diapers during the day because when an urge comes, I usually have at least 10 minutes to find a toilet before things get dire. However, when I am traveling or when I know I will be in a unfamiliar situation,, I will often wear a diaper “just in case”

this fits me to a Tee.

i always wear a diaper when traveling to my doctor as its a 150 mile trip.

i see no reason to take off my diaper before my appointment

[Newbee]

I recently went to a specialist over my incontinence and I wore a pull-up I was hoping that she could do something for me well turns out she wanted me to try some meds I was going to try it but when my husband and I looked up the meds we didn’t like the sound of the side effects so we have decided that I will just wear pull-up/ diapers as they are managing my problem fine and we have both become used to me wearing them.