Complicated issues with partial incontinence.

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

Hi, my name is Scott and I have been struggling partial incontinence (have some, but weak control over bladder/bowels). But the lack of control isn't what bothers me, it's the pain I get from attempting to hold it even for a short period of time. I've seen 3 different urologists and will be seeing a GI doctor soon, one of those only tried one medication on me before he decided he wanted to jump straight to the interstim, I respectfully declined as I have heard some bad things about that and I feel uneasy about invasive surgery. My second urologist tried 4 different meds on me only to write me a prescription for the first med I started on to begin with. So now the one I currently see recommended I go to an GI doctor as a problem with the GI tract can cause problems with your urinary tract. But anyways I'll cut to the chase, I was wondering if I wear 24/7 to become fully incon, would that condition be less painful as you couldn't feel the urge to go? I imagine it wouldn't take that long to lose the little control I have left as I already have shaky control to begin with. Anyhow, thanks for any advice I may get.

[Joe-Box]

What is the reason of your urges? OAB? Neurological? I have done experience but in order to find out if it is relevant, it would be great to know a little more. Thanks!


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[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

We are still investigating as to why I get those urges. It could be what they call "painful bladder syndrome" but we haven't confirmed that yet. I was already diagnosed with OAB though.

[Craisler]

Simply wearing a diaper isn’t going to cause you to become incontinent or cause you to lose the feelings in your bladder or rectum when you need to go.  Having a diaper on simply gives you an alternative to holding it in until you can get to a toilet. If the urge to becomes too painful before you can get to a toilet, you can let your bladder or bowels empty into the diaper with minimal consequence.  Instead, you now have to deal with a wet or soiled diaper and the clean up associated with that.   If you’re not already wearing protection, I’m guessing that you’re not currently having accidents. So, it will probably take longer than you think to overcome your inhibitions to wetting or soiling your pants and begin going in a diaper. 

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

I wear diapers during the worst episodes and at night. I wear pull ups during the day to try to control it, but don't make it to the bathroom in time about 9 out of 10 times. I am sorry if I didn't explain the situation that well.

[Rob110]

Hi Scott

If you are not making it to the bathroom most of the time then yes its probably  time to swith to premium taped diapers,  I made the switch over 3 years ago not having to worry about am I going to make it in time I now use my diaper 90 % of the time for my bladder needs as I no longer get warnings I need to pee most times and I am  usually dry for only about 30 minutes or less after changing to a new diaper.  If you decide to wear 24/7 and to just use your diaper when you feel the need to pee on the days you can hold it for a while you will loose your remaining control quicker then you think.

I do not regret skipping the meds and going 24/7 to manage my OAB as the stress of will I make it and if the meds will work 100% of the time was not worth it . I wear Betterdry (plain white versions of the Crinklz) and they work great day and night. 

keep seeing your urologist to make sure all is ok and its not life threatening and discuse switching to dispers to manage your bladder issues its your choice to skip the meds and wear diapers 24/7 it does take a bit of getting use to but its not that bad over all and your daily life does not change much.

 

 

 

 

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

 

29 minutes ago, Rob110 said:

Hi Scott

If you are not making it to the bathroom most of the time then yes its probably  time to swith to premium taped diapers,  I made the switch over 3 years ago not having to worry about am I going to make it in time I now use my diaper 90 % of the time for my bladder needs as I no longer get warnings I need to pee most times and I am  usually dry for only about 30 minutes or less after changing to a new diaper.  If you decide to wear 24/7 and to just use your diaper when you feel the need to pee on the days you can hold it for a while you will loose your remaining control quicker then you think.

I do not regret skipping the meds and going 24/7 to manage my OAB as the stress of will I make it and if the meds will work 100% of the time was not worth it . I wear Betterdry (plain white versions of the Crinklz) and they work great day and night. 

keep seeing your urologist to make sure all is ok and its not life threatening and discuse switching to dispers to manage your bladder issues its your choice to skip the meds and wear diapers 24/7 it does take a bit of getting use to but its not that bad over all and your daily life does not change much.

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Rob, thanks for the advice. Question, was one of your symptoms pain while holding and did it go away after switching to diapers permanently? If so how long did that take? How are crinkes by the way? I currently use rearz safari's on my bad days.

[Joe-Box]

It is the experience of many of us that letting go in the diapers is ok. Holding can either painful or can clinch the muscles. As you already miss 9 out of 10 times, then it makes sense. Wetting often but little is ideal for diapers.


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[Bettypooh]

I have a nerve dysfunction causing my leakage issues. Before I stopped trying to control my bladder leakage, I would often feel it spasming which was sort of painful. With 'pain' being perceived differently by everyone, I cannot say if you'd feel the same with this problem. Mine was similar to a muscle cramp, though not as debilitating. I had to restrict certain movements till the spasm passed but with a great effort to hold it, I managed to function without leakage. Then I began to lose the ability to hold and began wearing protection, at which time there was no point in me trying to maintain bladder control so I didn't try anymore. Before many months my old spasms diminished and I could cease restricting my movements like I had been doing. That enhanced my life a lot. None of this seems to have affected my bowels which weren't a problem for me. 

Apparently what was happening with me was that without warning, my bladder detrussor muscle would contract regardless of the amount in my bladder. My internal sphincter would follow along, leaving me to have to clinch my external sphincter to keep from peeing. In time because of the huge work overload that was being placed on my external sphincter it began weakening, being pushed well beyond it's design limits for so many years. The exact cause cannot be determined, this can be something affecting a nerve anywhere between brain and bladder or something in my brain itself. Without being able to pinpoint what is wrong where, it cannot be treated, and medical science is still not at the point where many nerve problems can be treated anyway. 

Unless your medical advisors say otherwise, I think it would be wise to try your approach for a while to see what the results are. That may resolve your pain issues or it may not, but it is worth trying if they cannot do something better for you. Doctors and even many Urologists are so prejudiced against diapers that they will do everything possible to keep you from going there. They tend to lose sight of the goal which is to remove or reduce your problem to a manageable level with the least amount of active intervention possible. And that they are acting only in an advisory capacity- all the regions are yours alone to make. Sometimes you have to remind them of these things and rarely do they take that well.

My choices are mine alone but once I gave up trying to stay dry my life improved immensely and I had much less stress in everything. Stress being very bad for you, I made the right decision for me and it might work for you too. Whatever approach you decide to take I wish you happiness and an improved life as the result- that can happen and it should!

Bettypooh

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

1 hour ago, Bettypooh said:

I have a nerve dysfunction causing my leakage issues. Before I stopped trying to control my bladder leakage, I would often feel it spasming which was sort of painful. With 'pain' being perceived differently by everyone, I cannot say if you'd feel the same with this problem. Mine was similar to a muscle cramp, though not as debilitating. I had to restrict certain movements till the spasm passed but with a great effort to hold it, I managed to function without leakage. Then I began to lose the ability to hold and began wearing protection, at which time there was no point in me trying to maintain bladder control so I didn't try anymore. Before many months my old spasms diminished and I could cease restricting my movements like I had been doing. That enhanced my life a lot. None of this seems to have affected my bowels which weren't a problem for me. 

Apparently what was happening with me was that without warning, my bladder detrussor muscle would contract regardless of the amount in my bladder. My internal sphincter would follow along, leaving me to have to clinch my external sphincter to keep from peeing. In time because of the huge work overload that was being placed on my external sphincter it began weakening, being pushed well beyond it's design limits for so many years. The exact cause cannot be determined, this can be something affecting a nerve anywhere between brain and bladder or something in my brain itself. Without being able to pinpoint what is wrong where, it cannot be treated, and medical science is still not at the point where many nerve problems can be treated anyway. 

Unless your medical advisors say otherwise, I think it would be wise to try your approach for a while to see what the results are. That may resolve your pain issues or it may not, but it is worth trying if they cannot do something better for you. Doctors and even many Urologists are so prejudiced against diapers that they will do everything possible to keep you from going there. They tend to lose sight of the goal which is to remove or reduce your problem to a manageable level with the least amount of active intervention possible. And that they are acting only in an advisory capacity- all the regions are yours alone to make. Sometimes you have to remind them of these things and rarely do they take that well.

My choices are mine alone but once I gave up trying to stay dry my life improved immensely and I had much less stress in everything. Stress being very bad for you, I made the right decision for me and it might work for you too. Whatever approach you decide to take I wish you happiness and an improved life as the result- that can happen and it should!

Bettypooh

Omg, your so right! I don't know why most doctors are opposed to diapers especially when their patient has already been struggling against this condition for a few years now only for things to get worse. If it can help them then why not? I think the stigma of diapers needs to be done away with. Thanks, I think I am going to go ahead with staying diapered 24/7/365 for bowel my bladder and bowel issues. I will post an update later down the line with my results.

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

Have another question, I was considering switching to the Abu peakabu's to give me more absorbency because changing out in public is difficult and uncomfortable for me. How are the Abu peakabu's? I would like one to last me a whole day.

[Craisler]

15 hours ago, Lil Fox Scotty 91 said:

I wear diapers during the worst episodes and at night. I wear pull ups during the day to try to control it, but don't make it to the bathroom in time about 9 out of 10 times. I am sorry if I didn't explain the situation that well.

If that’s the case, I’d recommend using a good premium diaper (e.g. Seni, Molicare, Abena, etc.) and not worry about trying to hold on if it’s causing you that much pain.  Personally, I’d avoid AB diapers as they are designed to be noisy and babyish.  I use the Seni Quattro.  It is easily good for at least 8 hours. However, how long it lasts for you is entirely dependent on your metabolism.

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

20 minutes ago, Craisler said:

If that’s the case, I’d recommend using a good premium diaper (e.g. Seni, Molicare, Abena, etc.) and not worry about trying to hold on if it’s causing you that much pain.  Personally, I’d avoid AB diapers as they are designed to be noisy and babyish.  I use the Seni Quattro.  It is easily good for at least 8 hours. However, how long it lasts for you is entirely dependent on your metabolism.

The extra thickness of the ABDL diapers don't bother me. I would prefer not having to change in the middle of my day, particularly out in public as I haven't mastered taping while sitting or standing. I am much better if I do the taping while lying down and take a little bit more time to get it right. But at home I don't mind using medical diapers because it easier to change at home. I use confidry 24/7 at home.

[Rob110]

Hi Scott

Crinklz or the plain white version Betterdry have worked great for me since I switched to them they do swell up a lot more then the dry 24/7’s  but they are quick to absorb so they work better as I am a side sleeper. I have had no issues ie finding they are to noticable juring the day. 

My incontinence grew worse quickly but that was probably due to the fact I didn't fight it as long as you have as for pain from trying to hold it i never really experienced any as when I got the feeling I needed to pee my bladder just released in its own a minute or two later.

 

changing in public gets easier as time goes on you will get to the point of not even thinking about it you will just grab your back pack and head to the washroom and change. People do not notice and in 3.5 years no one has ever said anything or even reacted to me caring out a rolled up diaper out of the stall. you can alway keep a few small garbage bags in your back pack and use them to dispose of your diaper so no one sees it when you exit yhe stall. 

 

Hope the pain goes a way quickly when you start to use your diaper instead of holding it, keep a log for a while so you can let your urologist know that switching to taped diapers worked better then the meds to manage your OAB

 

 

[joemama]

On 7/29/2018 at 3:56 AM, Rob110 said:

Hi Scott

If you are not making it to the bathroom most of the time then yes its probably  time to swith to premium taped diapers,  I made the switch over 3 years ago not having to worry about am I going to make it in time I now use my diaper 90 % of the time for my bladder needs as I no longer get warnings I need to pee most times and I am  usually dry for only about 30 minutes or less after changing to a new diaper.  If you decide to wear 24/7 and to just use your diaper when you feel the need to pee on the days you can hold it for a while you will loose your remaining control quicker then you think.

I do not regret skipping the meds and going 24/7 to manage my OAB as the stress of will I make it and if the meds will work 100% of the time was not worth it . I wear Betterdry (plain white versions of the Crinklz) and they work great day and night. 

keep seeing your urologist to make sure all is ok and its not life threatening and discuse switching to dispers to manage your bladder issues its your choice to skip the meds and wear diapers 24/7 it does take a bit of getting use to but its not that bad over all and your daily life does not change much.

 

 

 

 

I agree with all of this.  I took the meds - I have packs of mybretriq in front of me never finished.  They all either cause headaches, thirst, or worse.  Some worked a little, but none were 100% effective meaning I still wear diapers.  At some point the cost and side effects dawned on me could be avoided if I just used the diaper a little more often.  A good premium diaper is well worth the extra cost over cheap leak prone ones. 

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

18 hours ago, joemama said:

I agree with all of this.  I took the meds - I have packs of mybretriq in front of me never finished.  They all either cause headaches, thirst, or worse.  Some worked a little, but none were 100% effective meaning I still wear diapers.  At some point the cost and side effects dawned on me could be avoided if I just used the diaper a little more often.  A good premium diaper is well worth the extra cost over cheap leak prone ones. 

So true! The meds made me feel ways I shouldn't and they never really fixed anything for me. Yep, mybretriq is the first one I started on and it didn't even begin to make a dent in my problems. They cost way too much when you can manage your promblems far better and with no side effects with diapers for about the same cost or maybe a bit more, but the extra expense isn't what I am worried about. It's about my health and comfort. I just started 24/7 diaper management yesterday and my pain is already only about half as bad than before. I think with more time I may feel completely better, I hope.

On 7/30/2018 at 4:08 AM, Rob110 said:

Hi Scott

Crinklz or the plain white version Betterdry have worked great for me since I switched to them they do swell up a lot more then the dry 24/7’s  but they are quick to absorb so they work better as I am a side sleeper. I have had no issues ie finding they are to noticable juring the day. 

My incontinence grew worse quickly but that was probably due to the fact I didn't fight it as long as you have as for pain from trying to hold it i never really experienced any as when I got the feeling I needed to pee my bladder just released in its own a minute or two later.

 

changing in public gets easier as time goes on you will get to the point of not even thinking about it you will just grab your back pack and head to the washroom and change. People do not notice and in 3.5 years no one has ever said anything or even reacted to me caring out a rolled up diaper out of the stall. you can alway keep a few small garbage bags in your back pack and use them to dispose of your diaper so no one sees it when you exit yhe stall. 

 

Hope the pain goes a way quickly when you start to use your diaper instead of holding it, keep a log for a while so you can let your urologist know that switching to taped diapers worked better then the meds to manage your OAB

 

 

How would I go about practicing changing while standing or sitting while out in public? (Public restrooms, my car, or wherever I find some privacy). Thanks for the tips btw.

[Bettypooh]

Many folks back against a wall to hold the new diaper in place. That option is available in almost every restroom. I do my changes standing. Pull the diaper between spread legs till the front is correct, close legs, then tape. The keys to this method are knowing how high the front goes, then knowing where to place the tapes in relation to the padding. It takes me around one minute to change this way when I hurry, but I've been wearing this brand for some years now so it's easy to know where everything goes. Your early efforts will probably be lopsided though, this takes practice to get perfect and any change of styles or brands means relearning where it all belongs.

Everyone needs to have an "on the road" changing plan and technique as there will be times when you need it. 

Bettypooh

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

Thanks. Should I try practicing this at home first?

[Joe-Box]

Thanks. Should I try practicing this at home first?

Yes, you could also use short trips to familiar places with no stress.


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[Craisler]

There is no better place to practice than at home.  I open the diaper and hold the waistband at the right level behind me.  The lean against the wall to keep it in place while I reach down between my legs and pull the front up and get the diaper properly situated. I first fasten one side a the leg and then the other. I then fasten one side at the top and the the other.  Finally, I roll the front waistband inward all the way to the sides.

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

Well, the first change standing was sloppy.

[Craisler]

That’s to be expected.  Practice, practice.  Once you get the technique down at home, you can then try it in a public lavatory stall.  Handicap stalls provide enough room to do the job properly and also dispose of the used diaper discretely. 

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

9 minutes ago, Craisler said:

There is no better place to practice than at home.  I open the diaper and hold the waistband at the right level behind me.  The lean against the wall to keep it in place while I reach down between my legs and pull the front up and get the diaper properly situated. I first fasten one side a the leg and then the other. I then fasten one side at the top and the the other.  Finally, I roll the front waistband inward all the way to the sides.

What dose rolling the waistband inwards do?

[Craisler]

Being somewhat overweight, the diaper waistband will naturally roll outward on me.  If it does that, the absorbent material will then be in contact with you outerwear (in my case, my jeans).  I had the unfortunate experience of thoroughly soaking my jeans, shirt, and belt while on a plane trip once. Changing clothes while traveling is even more of a pain than changing a wet diaper; especially if you don’t come completely prepared for such an eventuality. 

[Lil Fox Scotty 91]

Oh, didn't know that could happen. Sorry that happened to you on your plain ride. It shouldn't be a problem for me though as I am a little underweight because of lack of appetite from depression. That's another thing I need to work on too.