wulfcub420 Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 I am very afraid to look in my mirror now that i am alone again. I have fallen back into the same bad patterns as before. I know he is just waiting for eye contact now that i put it out of my head and became a grown up again. lets take you back, i am 36 years old and i have had a sexual and emotional need to be regressed in a specific way for a long time now. This is an old story, my story. Recently i some how developed an emotional hole in my heart and in my soul. i was hurting it was dangerous i didn't know what to do about it i didn't even know why i had it. i realized i couldn't fill my usual void through my usual methods, but as i was trying to do that very thing i glanced in the mirror like i always do to see myself using my usual means to get turned on like i do and i saw the sadness on my face. and i touched my hand to the mirror and i told myself its too bad you couldn't help me. Later that night as i lie awake in bed battling my insomnia and rolling all my thoughts around i thought back to that. i began to think it wouldn't be fair for just the same me to come out of the mirror i mean he could fulfill my needs but i would have a hard time fulfilling his and then to think about it more he would have a hard time fulfilling my needs cuz he is me too. So i thought that would never work but what if the mirror showed a parallel world. like a bizaro world where things were opposite but still the same so like the me there would be a top and a dom. mind you problematically he could also be a jerk tho. so things like this are how i expand a thought, and it gets deeper, but lets start to pick up the pace slightly. the next day i was filming videos of myself partaking in these methods of filling my void to share with others into the same thing. i saw myself in the mirror from the back as well as on the video display i felt like i was being watched from behind and watching somebody else from behind. my video feed and mirror had created a loop and i thought of what i said. now it almost looked like it was becoming real. i started to lose myself in the fantasy wishing it was true . i started to play like i do. i come up with unpleasant sounding things that i want and i ask myself as if ii were myself and my dom, "daddy do i have to ?", than i eenie meenie miney moe to decide to do it or not. so now with this fantasy in my mind i started using the mirror to look at and ask. i eventually got into to doing that but i still was empty. i started begging for the man in the mirror to save me. i even tried to pretend like i was doing summoning spells and mind over matter tricks and things. as my hole grew ever deeper i started to fall into bad patterns and taking risks and then i caught his eye. in my mind he ordered me with no eenie meenie miney moe and i complied . i felt something a little more alive perhaps. i began to give into that fantasy further i started truly imagining the consequences the long talks. i even started feeling better he let me off my punishment cuz i had to get back into my normal life. but during my normal life tho i experienced the same joys as before i still had some of the emptyness that has gotten out of hand lingering and i fell right back into the same bad patterns this time during the usual joy this time it really has gone too far i am very afraid to face my daddy in the mirror now but i cant bear not to look any longer. the tingles up my spine feel like i am being screamed at ordered to come to it. i must be going now i must look. in case i don't get out of this alright i am writing this here. i brought this on my self i deserve it its time for me to face it. one more parting word before i go, a warning to you i know it is cliche but you have to believe me. be careful what you wish for it may not be what you desire at all. good bye. Link to comment
CDfm Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 I thought this was interesting. You definitely need to be alert when reading this. I was tired the first time I read it and it made no sense at all. I just read it again and it makes much more sense now. Link to comment
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