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Accidental Exposure Thanks To UPS


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I came home today to a horrifying realization that my stepdaughter probably knows I wear diapers now thanks to the carelessness of UPS.  For years my wife and I have helped hide the fact from our children but today was just the worst case scenario that almost assuredly outed me.  To begin with my wife was not home which meant that my stepdaughter accepted three cases of Rearz diapers.  The shipment came in one exceptionally large box which contained two cases and a single case was in a second box.  The smaller box was perfect but the larger box had split in the corner clearly exposing its contents.  It was raining here today which meant my stepdaughter had to carry the packages inside where normally they would just sit on the porch until I come home.  The large box clearly had been opened with a knife almost all the way down it, enough to peek inside which I suppose is not surprising for a curious teenager.  

She talked with her mother but clearly did not say anything about it because my wife would have definatly said something.  She also is not acting unusual or judgemental with me so I am not sure what to think.  I know for a fact my younger son does not know which I hope if she did see the diapers she played interference so he would not see them.

The only positive about the entire nightmare is it was an order of plain white diapers and not diapers with pink princesses on them.  Also, Rearz has changed their packaging and the packaging definatly now looks more like they are medical diapers.  

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UPS most likely did nothing wrong at all.  They put packages on your porch when they are told to, and if something comes open or whatever during transport, that is really something that is likely to happen.  UPS is only resonsible for how THEY handle the boxes when they get them, but not how the boxes arrive to them, say from being off loaded from a plane while in transit or etcetra.  The truth is, you accidentally exposed yourself because you let your stepdaughter sign for them.  I'm pretty sure you can restrict who can sign for a package if you set it up in advance, and honestly, if you ordered something like that, then you should have told your daughter not to sign for anything on that day.  You could have also called ahead to UPS and tell them that someone responsible was not home to sign for the package, and so if your package came that day, would they please hold it for pick up later?

I understand your frustration and fears, but honestly, this was not as much UPS fault as it was poor planning on your part.  UPS delivered a package without special instructions, and they did their job.  For all you know, the mail service cut that hole in the box on purpose checking for dangerous substances because like it or not, since 9-11 happened, there have been calls to check suspicioius packages arriving at homes to make sure that Anthrax or other dangerous chemicals were not in the package.

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Unfortunately it is very hard to know when my wife is going to have a medical emergency and cannot be home.  We do plan always but even planning sometimes things slip through the cracks.  I will research to see if I can restrict her from signing for packages but honestly in my experience they never even look at your signature or ask for an ID.

The box came UPS ground so it was definatly not on an airplane and I highly doubt it left the store in that condition.  So how did the box get in that condition? It would not have been while UPS had it in their possession?

22 minutes ago, Ishigreensa said:

UPS most likely did nothing wrong at all.  They put packages on your porch when they are told to, and if something comes open or whatever during transport, that is really something that is likely to happen.  UPS is only resonsible for how THEY handle the boxes when they get them, but not how the boxes arrive to them, say from being off loaded from a plane while in transit or etcetra.  The truth is, you accidentally exposed yourself because you let your stepdaughter sign for them.  I'm pretty sure you can restrict who can sign for a package if you set it up in advance, and honestly, if you ordered something like that, then you should have told your daughter not to sign for anything on that day.  You could have also called ahead to UPS and tell them that someone responsible was not home to sign for the package, and so if your package came that day, would they please hold it for pick up later?

I understand your frustration and fears, but honestly, this was not as much UPS fault as it was poor planning on your part.  UPS delivered a package without special instructions, and they did their job.  For all you know, the mail service cut that hole in the box on purpose checking for dangerous substances because like it or not, since 9-11 happened, there have been calls to check suspicioius packages arriving at homes to make sure that Anthrax or other dangerous chemicals were not in the package.

I definatly can not argue with you that I should have been more cognizant of the delivery but I get large cases of diapers to the house all the time, atleast once a month with no issues.  I guess that lulls you into a false since ot security which lead to complacency.

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As i work for a UPS hub location i can say that they didn't follow procedure. That box regardless if it was the shippers fault or UPS handling of the package we are suppose to repack them into a new box unless otherwise stated that we are not allowed to and i know that Rearz doesn't say that when they ship through us. So the people that handled you're package up to when you got it didn't do as they were suppose to. Also just because it says UPS ground doesn't mean it didn't come by plane. That only shows what type of shipping charges were paid and air is almost always sent by plane but if something makes it behind they will send it by plane. 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Little-Daddy-Toa said:

As i work for a UPS hub location i can say that they didn't follow procedure. That box regardless if it was the shippers fault or UPS handling of the package we are suppose to repack them into a new box unless otherwise stated that we are not allowed to and i know that Rearz doesn't say that when they ship through us. So the people that handled you're package up to when you got it didn't do as they were suppose to. Also just because it says UPS ground doesn't mean it didn't come by plane. That only shows what type of shipping charges were paid and air is almost always sent by plane but if something makes it behind they will send it by plane. 

 

 

Thank you for the informative facts.  Generally UPS ground takes so long for delivery that I just always assumed it came via truck.

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11 minutes ago, MarkSmith said:

Thank you for the informative facts.  Generally UPS ground takes so long for delivery that I just always assumed it came via truck.

You're welcome and if it happens again or if you feel like reporting it to ups customer care they will generally figure out why it happened and possibly audit the facilities that the package come through to try and make sure it doesn't happen again.

It sucks that it happened to you specially when you've tried hard to make sure it doesn't happen. There are options you can look at to prevent it from happening again whether it be a will call or a hold for another day. She may have already known too btw or she just doesn't really care or is just trying to think it out before talking about it first. There are a lot of reasons she could have not said anything. But from what you've shown from the pictures of the box it looks like they tried to tape it up but didn't tape it up properly if they rest of the box was in good shape. But my hub would not have let that slide so i would say to call the customer care line and report it. Since ups and the union are renegotiating that center could be having issues with the contract. hence why your package ended up like that.

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You said your wife has medical issues?  So maybe your daughter thought they were for her.  Maybe she didn't even think twice about it.  You have to look at the positive in this situation and that is, your daughter will not make a connection to abdl.  It's not like she's going to see them and think, my stepdad is a DL or an AB.

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She probably thinks one of the two of you have a medical issue and respects your privacy, unfortunately close family members will find out at some point in time no matter how careful you are. 

 

  

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Really I have calmed down about it.  She has yet to mention anything to my wife and I about it.  Damage aside, if it was indeed her that opened the top of the package it would be hard for her to explain as to why she did so since it was in my name.  It is also possible that she completely did not notice what is in the box although I find that hard to believe because on many occasions in the past she has asked her mother what is in all the big boxes.

At this point I have the beginning stages of actual loss of urinary control anyway so if I do have to explain to the kids that I am incontinent it would be telling the truth.  For eight years I have worn diapers, and have been in them permanently for almost the last year.

I have had issues in the past where I have left a used pink Rearz diaper on accident in the bathroom linen closet which I hide in there when I am showering.   My wife has came across it several days later and is always extremely upset at me for being so complacent which I do understand.  

I was expecting something to be said yesterday by my stepdaughter and for my wife to be mortified but happily that never came to fruition.  My wife's medical history is an interesting thought as she does suffer from IBS and is constantly on the toilet which everyone in the family knows.  I often joke with her that I have some diapers she can borrow if need be and she always gets playfully upset.

 

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Having experienced receiving packages in less than mint condition, I guess I just assumed that UPS did nothing wrong.  I still think I would look into making sure that only people you want to sign for a package can sign for it.  I think they used to do that as a normal thing way back when.  I don't know when they cchanged the rules, but I think they should change them back.

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5 minutes ago, Ishigreensa said:

Having experienced receiving packages in less than mint condition, I guess I just assumed that UPS did nothing wrong.  I still think I would look into making sure that only people you want to sign for a package can sign for it.  I think they used to do that as a normal thing way back when.  I don't know when they cchanged the rules, but I think they should change them back.

It definatly cannot hurt to research their policies on signature requirements.  Like I said yesterday was all the wrong scenarios happened to all come together at the wrong time and I still do not know exactly who knows what.

If anything it highlights the fact that if I want to prevent a repeat of this event that I need to be less lackadaisical with my diaper shipments.

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The problem with signature required and the like is that first you have to convince the shipper to send it that way which can be quite difficult.   

Neither UPS nor FEDEX will restrict the signature/delivery by name.    Your only options for UPS are signature (by anyone at the address) or adult signature (any over 21 person at the address, mostly for wine, etc...).    FEDEX adds the option of a direct signature (otherwise, the addresee can sign the "door tag" and the driver will leave the package on the next delivery day)..

The easiest way around any of this is to have things delivered to a PMB (UPS store, Postal Annex, etc...).    You can either rent a box (get the smallest one possible,)  or in some cases you can pay for it on a per package basis.    I mostly do this for wine delivery, but I tend to have a lot of other stuff (including diapers) delivered to my PMB and I don't care what the staff there thinks of the boxes (they're just happier that it's diapers rather than wine because it's lighter).

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2 hours ago, willnotwill said:

The problem with signature required and the like is that first you have to convince the shipper to send it that way which can be quite difficult.   

Neither UPS nor FEDEX will restrict the signature/delivery by name.    Your only options for UPS are signature (by anyone at the address) or adult signature (any over 21 person at the address, mostly for wine, etc...).    FEDEX adds the option of a direct signature (otherwise, the addresee can sign the "door tag" and the driver will leave the package on the next delivery day)..

The easiest way around any of this is to have things delivered to a PMB (UPS store, Postal Annex, etc...).    You can either rent a box (get the smallest one possible,)  or in some cases you can pay for it on a per package basis.    I mostly do this for wine delivery, but I tend to have a lot of other stuff (including diapers) delivered to my PMB and I don't care what the staff there thinks of the boxes (they're just happier that it's diapers rather than wine because it's lighter).

Thanks for the advice.  I think you can also request that the package just stay at the local sorting facility where you can go and pick it up.

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Yes, that works as well.  You need to sign up for the UPS or FEDEX custom delivery (it's free) and then they'll email you when a package is on the way and you can request it held.

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I really think that mail orders should require people to be at least 18 years old at a residence to sign for packages anyway.  You know, when they have someone sign for a package, they are actually transfering responsibility to the person that is signing.  While it may not be something that people think is important at the moment, I do think that there are worse possible scenarios than a kid finding diapers in a box that can happen when they sign unknown packages and get curious and open them.

You as her parents, could also ask her not to sign for packages anymore and to let the package go back for holding.  As a minor, the kid could just say "Sorry, my mom isn't here right now, and I was told it's not proper to sign for stuff that doesn't belong to me." as her excuse.  Explain to her that she wouldn't want you to open her box if she had something personal in there that could embarrass her (Or better yet, let mom tell her that, and mom can mention bras as an example), then she would understand you not wanting her to sign for a package that isn't addressed to her.

Honestly, though, I think the UPS and FedEx have just gotten lazy because a lot of people are working when they deliver, but there really should be a law against letting a minor sign for anything since they cannot be held accountable in court if something came up missing, and then FedEx or UPS were attempted to be sued by the person that was supposed to get a package.  It would be easy to fake a signature and still a neighbor's package the way things are run now.

Sorry about my ranting.  I just feel that the system is broken and the idea that your stepdaughter could have found the diapers is a wake up call to the broken system.

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I think this is a prime example that even when trying to hide the fact that you wear diapers the inevitable will occur.  My stepdaughter is very inquisitive by nature and I do believe she knows.  Tonight we talked for a long period of time about life (not diapers) and there  was no awkwardness or weirdness.  She is very mature for her age of sixteen and I also know that if she did see the diapers she kept my younger son from noticing them too.  Almost always my son is downstairs and when I got home his sister had him in her room which almost never happens.  A 16 year old may not say something but a seven year old definitely would so I am either thankful that neither one of them noticed or my stepdaughter played interference.

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20 hours ago, Ishigreensa said:

 I still think I would look into making sure that only people you want to sign for a package can sign for it.  

I'm not sure how that would work.  Say it's your 16 year old daughter at home alone but she doesn't have permission to sign for UPS deliveries.  How does the UPS driver know that you are not home yourself before hauling your torn open case of adult diapers to the door? 

"UPS.  I need a signature from either John Smith or Jane Doe for this package." 

"Sorry, neither one of them is home right now". 

The UPS driver then has to leave a note on the door and haul the torn case of adult diapers back to his truck.  During all this, wouldn't it be reasonable to think the teenage daughter has been looking at the torn open package and would see what's inside even if she couldn't sign and accept delivery?

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5 minutes ago, rusty pins said:

I'm not sure how that would work.  Say it's your 16 year old daughter at home alone but she doesn't have permission to sign for UPS deliveries.  How does the UPS driver know that you are not home yourself before hauling your torn open case of adult diapers to the door? 

"UPS.  I need a signature from either John Smith or Jane Doe for this package." 

"Sorry, neither one of them is home right now". 

The UPS driver then has to leave a note on the door and haul the torn case of adult diapers back to his truck.  During all this, wouldn't it be reasonable to think the teenage daughter has been looking at the torn open package and would see what's inside even if she couldn't sign and accept delivery?

It was only the one corner busted out with an attempted repair by tape so depending on how he was holding the package it may not have been exposed to her but there is no way of telling.  I wonder what the UPS driver would do if he noticed what was inside the package?  Would he have attempted to be more discreet or just generally not care?

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It really matters not so much in your case that only one corner was busted and taped up and maybe the contents weren't that easily exposed.  There could always be a situation (as has been state here in past forum posts) where a box is severly damaged making the contents very obvious to even the most casual person.   The point I was making above is that a UPS driver would not know that the only person who had authorization to sign for the package might not be home until he had hauled the torn open box to the door for whomever answers.  Trying to make sure through a delivery service like UPS that only certain people are allowed to sign for the package in order to keep the contents from being seen by another family member won't do any good when the package has been damaged to the point people can see the inside contents.  UPS will still bring the package to the door and ring the bell for a signature before they find out the authorized person is not home to sign for it, exposing the open or damaged package to whomever opens the door.

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If I was the ripe age of 16 and found out my parents wore ***diapers!!!*** I'd be too embarrassed to mention anything about it.

Kinda like walking in on your parents having sex... nobody wants to talk about it.

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17 minutes ago, Darkfinn said:

If I was the ripe age of 16 and found out my parents wore ***diapers!!!*** I'd be too embarrassed to mention anything about it.

Kinda like walking in on your parents having sex... nobody wants to talk about it.

And I am okay with this.  I remember when I was a teenager I was snooping around some of my father's boxes and found an entire box of "marital aids".  Needless to say nothing was said.

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First off kids are not stupid and are can very understanding. Second if you have resorted to 24/7 you should be honest about the packages with your daughter when she asks. I am not saying tell her about your do or abdl but tell her more in a matter of fact sort of way you need and wear diapers. I wear a lot and believe my kids don't know everything. My oldest son now since moved out found a package of my diapers at age 6. I told him they were diapers. He said he knew that but asked why they were big enough for adults. I was hoping he would think they were his younger sisters. I just calmly said some adults have problems also and wear diapers and I needed them at night sometimes. He never mentioned it again. We keep my diapers from them mostly other than the buldge when I wear them but I am usually wearing something to cover that when they are around. I think it was my oldest daughter, not sure now was 3 to 4 ish, but crawled into bed with us. I have been in night diapers for years and was then. She didn't see them but when cuddling dad asked me why I was in wearing diapers. I said she was being goofy and I wasn't. My wife distracted her and I snuck away and changed. We did that twice with success. The last time she said something I could not deny it. She came in while we were asleep and crawled in. After feeling the diapers she lifted the covers and looked. I was in my bulky cloth ones and shorts so it was pretty obvious. I told her even big people wet the bed and I wore diapers some times just like she did. She never asked again. She has recently moved out. My two younger kids have never asked me but if they did I think I would tell them more now. Not about the abdl but more about my diapers. Then I wouldn't be feeling the need to hide everything as much.

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If she asks I will be honest.  My stepdaughter is bisexual so she understands what it is like to be unique.  She also knows of the abuse I suffered as a child and honestly I feel she would not be judgemental at all.  I do think if the question was going to be asked it would have been already so either way I am no longer worried about it.

My wife is the bigger concern.  She is absolutely adamant that the kids would be horrified and look at me differently if they found out.

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had a similar experience several years ago. had placed an order from Bambinos. The box did not make it through shipping and arrived fairly damaged.... as it busted open, with one looking as if someone had literally ran it over. It was left on my doorstep while at work and the neighbor decided to take it into their place as our complex was in a high traffic area and was having deliveries go missing. They didn't act too weird about it. They could clearly see what was inside the box. But coming home, for them to tell me they have a package for me and they will bring it down to me a bit later, only to realize what it was... and how exposed it was... was highly embarrassing. Luckily Bambino replaced the order after I sent them pictures of how messed up portions of the order were. But, it did not save me of embarrassment. The neighbor didnt mention it at the time, but then during parties in which they were invited and whatnot, a few subtle jokes came forward, after a few drinks. I was always too shy to pry or acknowledge the joke at all. So, not sure what their intention was-- to make light of the situation, or if they may have really been interested in the kink themselves?! 

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and this is why I prefer to pick up the packages at the terminal...

I don't really like anything sent home to me, much rather it get sent to nearest post-office and thankfully that is always an option in Norway, as its cheaper for them to unload all packages at 1 place, than to drive around to people

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