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Have you ever desired to be handicapped to be changed?


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You'll hate me but sometimes, maybe subconsciously,  I have desired it.

Not free, not indipendent, total incontinent, to think and to act always like a 4-5 years baby with diaper....

I think (but it's just a dream, nothing real) that I'd like that life

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My thinking in the direction of handicaps is more in the physical area, getting hooks for hands or having to use a wheel-chair and then somebody who put me in diapers not to have the troubles of going to the loo every now and then...

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I guess this thread relates to desiring incontinence. There's no need to justify wanting anything, but should you want something and get it, you usually find it isn't like you thought it would be. Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it! 

As I get older my body is slowly breaking down on me. I'm finding the loss of mobility and ability to be the most distressing part of aging. The related pains are no fun either. I know for certain that I'd never want anything like the OP speaks of, especially if it meant only someone else changing my diapers when they wanted to without me being able to do anything about it if they didn't. A life like that would be horrible to me- YMMV though.

Bettypooh

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I have had disability related desires before especially around having a mental disability and needing 24/7 hour care. I like the though of being hopeless. In the 40's and 50's people with Chronic Psychosis/Schizophrenia the last line of defence was Regressive Electroshock Therapy. They would zap the shit out your brain until it left your in a infant like state, double incontinent having to be spoon fed, some people would forget how to swallow so their drink/food would drool out their mouth. They lost all their abilities and would basically become so apathetic they would just sit for hours staring into space. I like the idea of that..

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I was born and "normal" 2003 weird paralysis would come and go and my muscles would sometimes not be controlled , i was in basicly perfect health healthy active had to have and pass a physical twice a year ,when I did bring the crazy symptoms up to my doctor ,she wanted to be informed when and what happened ,it was all bizarre and each time she would want to examine me and would open an appointment that afternoon ( sometimes this was 4 or 5 days a week ,each time nothing rang any alarm bells I checked out fine , until I lost control of my entire body and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes and got some serious road rash , that scared the hell out of her and she reffered me to a Ne urologist who checked me tested me and was drawing a blank ,so he sent me to every other neurologist in the state at least once for a consult, they all came to the same conclusion it was fast and and fatal ALS , he pulled the pin on my career and had me retired before i could protest with instructions to hang with friends and family I had less than a year before the big dirt nap , i verbally ripped this guys head off and told him how little he knew , make a long story the transferred me after a few months on the mental health unit to the city to the super freak rare disease specialist , they didn't confirm the diagnosis , basicly everyone who saw me was looking for 1 elegant solution for all the symptoms which 99 out of 100 neurologist would mis diagnose the same way , none of my test were abnormal they all came back with nothing , the super freak NIH Doctor wanted to see "unremarkable" actual test , not take someone else word for it .

And what this doctor suspected was borne out by him personally redoing every test I ever had ,what other doctors wrote off as "artifact" or machine glitch wasnt so inconsequentil (there was a message in the "tea leaves" if you new what to look for ,i had two diseases both are considered rare, one of them is so rare I am the only person alive to have it, and a few other serious first time in medical history titles .

Doctors have described as everything from a bitch a "catch 22" if i treat the one disease i will shorten my life because it will feed the other disease and kill me twice as fast , so here i sit not dead yet losing nerve and muscle function everday , i went from Rescue swimmer/Paramedic/Firefighter to a high function quad between 2008 and now ,slip slidding away ,never in my mind did i every have any inkling all my knowledge and training were wasting my time , that there was no time for a midlife crisis there would be an opening act "diagnosis" and a closing act, i am in that closing act ,wheelchair dependent, diaper dependant , opioid dependant for pain management living in the shadow of a prognosis 7-11 Years before death, my mind is pretty clear the rest of me tells of my rapid decline if you know what one of these diseases does ,you can read it on my face and head the way my hair is receeding, the way eyelids are the shape and chiseled look of my checks and jaw ,its all there an open book for the poster child of this disease ,it's not invisible or debatable to those who know what they are seeing , it only gets worse fron here , the journey ends in disahility and death unable to voluntrily control my muscles or speak or do anyhing including blink , however doctors dont knoe what exacyly will kill me because until me nowone has ever had both diesases,one of these diseases isnt even taught in medical school in the US because it didnt exist in America until me and now will change the curriculum , people will be studying my life and times for years to, in hope if there ever is another me maybe something can help them, the current odds of another me are greater than 1 in 9 billion which is greater than the current population of the earth. so somethings are out of our control bad things happen to good people with little choice ,obviously my experience isn't typical ,but it is sobering.

Peace

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I had a friend with similar problems, and a rare disease much like MS in it's effects. He went from a very fit 35 year old to someone who couldn't walk from lack of strength in a few minutes time. Each episode might last a half hour or days, all in great pain which no meds could treat. Marijuana was the only thing that decreased his pain, and even his doctors couldn't understand why. He finally took his own life during one of his able moments which had become few and rare. We lost a very good very special person that day. But now the Doctors know that with the few who suffer this disease, there may be a better pain treatment so his legacy will continue. 

Sometimes life dumps on us and there's nothing we can do about it except to try to make the best of things. I wish you well in your days and hope that they discover a cure.

Bettypooh

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Here's some craziness my girlfriend has MS her doctor is dead set against the "evil weed" ,my doctor prescribed it to me to try , there's a whole plethora of drugs I may be able to reduce or remove completely if it helps?

Here's were it gets ridiculous the state medical marijuanna program is set up to validate your residency one way thru your OLN ,no other way , i traded in my CDL for a wheelchair , never got a state license or ID I didn't need it , nor is my state yet comparable with Federal rules (not real Id compliant) which technically makes it useless paper outside the state , however I do have several Federal Federal licenses and ID that is kind of a little invasive , if you know what your looking for any browser or search engine will tell you everything about me and give you turn by turn GPS directions from wherever you are to my place, lots more info then most people need to know ,and even though i live in subsidized disabled housing for 11 years non of that is usefull, there is an exclusion that allows caregivers to purchase it if you are considered homebound being in $35,000 power chair qualifies , but once again I am expected to have a useless drivers license ,my caregiver has a state drivers license but thats not good enough , so on one hand being homebound helps you out on the other this whole exclusionary b.s. with drivers license keep the eligible people from accessing the program.its almost like they said let's make it legal but unobtainable so we can have it both ways , just pick your way of not really obtaining it ?There is a huge segment of people who don't drive nor have any need for a license ,and hafe other forms of valid ID that's un usable ,i literaly could buy any opiates and weed on the street easier than going the llegal way , if this isnt the hand of influence of shady big pharma tipping the scales in its favor i dont know what is .and dont get me started on people need to die in some tramatic dramatic way of suicide because we lack any real death with dignity acts that have real benefits, theees a host of european countries i could go to and instanly qualify bt being on there soil, but here in the US I need to mske it look like auto erotic asphyixation or something other than it really is (knowing there is no upside to progressively becoming an infant again)

So betty my deepest sympathy on the loss of your friend ,there's no reason anybody should not be able to end there life on there terms surrounded by the people and things they love , it hurts me too know that death with dignity is not a human right , there is so much unfairness in this world to get through only to find there's a ton more in order to leave it on your terms with peace and dignity while keeping your humanity intact .

Not to get political but the trump administration is intently screwing whole segments of the populations rights as we speak and that hatefull little man has no reason to exist at this point then too turn society back 100 years as his last desperate acts of his stupidity contribution before he dies.

I had a friend with similar problems, and a rare disease much like MS in it's effects. He went from a very fit 35 year old to someone who couldn't walk from lack of strength in a few minutes time. Each episode might last a half hour or days, all in great pain which no meds could treat. Marijuana was the only thing that decreased his pain, and even his doctors couldn't understand why. He finally took his own life during one of his able moments which had become few and rare. We lost a very good very special person that day. But now the Doctors know that with the few who suffer this disease, there may be a better pain treatment so his legacy will continue. 
Sometimes life dumps on us and there's nothing we can do about it except to try to make the best of things. I wish you well in your days and hope that they discover a cure.
Bettypooh




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I kept my friend supplied with the weed he needed- F legality when morality is more important. And I have another friend whose disability would be stopped if he got a drivers license which they said would prove he wasn't disabled even if he didn't drive. When it comes to helping our own who really need help the US is a fourth-world country. shameful when we can certainly do better. I wish I had the power to force those who decide things to swap places with those they decide for so they could learn and see where they are wrong, but I can't. In many lesser ways I also suffer the wrongness too. I already expect to make my own ending and am only pondering the how. You can't always want what you get, and those who don't get screwed over should be very thankful for that. May whatever smiles and peace you can find be sufficient for you.

Bettypooh

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No I wouldn’t want to be handicapped just to get my diaper changed or anything. On the other hand I wouldn’t mind to be incontinent (I do not consider incontinence a handicap) especially when I was younger and still struggling with my feelings. If I were incontinent then me wearing diapers would have been justified more or less. I might have resulted in ease of mind rather than feeling some sort of freak like I felt for many many years in a row, until I discovered I was not the only one with this strange desire to wear and use diapers. When I found out a heavy burden was lifted of off my shoulders but the damage was done also. I wouldn’t want anybody to change my diapers even now that I am healthy it is my thing.

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
13 hours ago, paragirl123 said:

I am physically disabled and use a wheelchair. I'm incontinent and wear nappies and my boyfriend or carer has to change me. I love it

I'm curious, Paragirl123, did you have any attachment to diapers before you became incontinent?  Or did it become something you realized later on that you enjoyed?

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Actually I reread that thread and somebody complained about the cost of hearing Aids,anything having to do with accommodating for a disability is a wallet breaker,for the cost of my wheelchair I could be driving a nice new pickup truck , and it's not like the technology is ground breaking, it's existed for 50 years but slap the word "mobility" or "disability" and the price goes up 10K.
Capitalism is alive and well and fleecing people out of money .disabilities are expensive !

Here's an old post I dug up that would be related to this topic, that might be worth a read.
 


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  • 2 weeks later...

It was one of my long time fantasys I'd had for years until last year I sprained my ankle and my girlfriend wanted to get better at changing me on one hand it fulfilled my fantasy on the other hand now that I've experienced and it was fun I no longer have that fantasy my new one is becoming incontinent but being as my last two fantasys have been self fulfilling I'm not going to do anything to make it happen but won't have a problem if/when it does 

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  • 2 years later...

After my childhood discovery showed me that the diapers from the closet were capable of giving extremely pleasurable sensations & feelings, I became obsessed with everything related to Pampers. The crinkly yet smooth plastic texture and wonderful nursery smell of the soft diaper padding was intoxicating. Wearing them gave me that first ever diaper-induced arousal that turned into a sexual preference, well before I knew what that was. With no reliable way of getting them, my imagination would run wild with all sorts of scenarios that had me in diapers.

There was a really cool playground by the apartments we used to live in back then. One of the kids I saw quite a bit was a girl in a wheelchair. Often times her mom would bring her by the sandbox while we played, and plenty of us would interact with her while her mom came back-and-forth from the bench to make sure she was OK.

When particular day I just happened to look up while digging in the sand near her, and by chance the angle I had let me clearly see her bulky diaper. That's the moment I made an association that all people in wheelchairs wear diapers. I could clearly see her diapers had the same plastic texture of the ones I got to wear. I was so jealous at that moment, and when her mom came to take her back home a little while later, I couldn't help but wonder is she was going to have her diaper changed. That night I lay in bed imagining I was in a thick crinkly diaper. I started imagining scenarios of being in my diaper and feeling those sensations again. Every time I saw her, I wanted to be her. I guess if I was just allowed to wear diapers, I probably wouldn't of focused so much on disability being an avenue to get them? It's my parents' fault!!! lol j/k...

A few post back someone said the old phrase "be careful what you wish for". At 19 I broke my neck in a pool, leaving me with paralysis below my mid chest and in my hands, as well as full incontinence. I was athletic, enjoying life, and having a good summer, and then this life-changing event happened that expectedly would be very difficult for anyone to go through. It sure was, and if given the choice it's not the path I would consciously choose. But I'm thankful for two things that let me cope. One is that I have pretty good sensation below my level of injury, and even though I can't move any of it, I sure can enjoy it ? -- and two is that I'm really lucky I already liked the idea of being in diapers.  To this day I totally love wearing diapers every day since my injury occurred in the early 90s. Another cool aspect is that nobody thinks I'm weird for wearing diapers and understands I have nursing assistance that changes me multiple times a day.

The other side of it as I look back is that there are many things I really missed out on due to my disability. My injury happened at a young age, and through my 20s while my friends were going on weekend excursions and traveling, I didn't have the independence or resources to go because I needed care. I wasn't going to be asking my friends to change my diapers for me. As far as my actual spinal cord injury, the variability aspect is potentially drastic when predicting what you'll be left with, and what other conditions might arise once you're actually paralyzed. The level of general function is pretty predictable because that all depends on where you break your spine, but there are often additional "side effects" to having such an injury for many. That's why I said I was glad I have good sensation below my injury level, I don't think I would enjoy diapers nearly as much if I couldn't feel them. Or maybe I should say I would enjoy them differently? 

Another thing that scares me a little bit looking forward is my level of care as I get older. I'm good at advocating for myself and most caregivers know that, but I still have clear memories of my rehab stay and how it was for people that can't be assertive for various reasons. This was reaffirmed in recent years as my mom had health issues and spent time in rehab centers. I see how some of the care workers take advantage of folks as they lose certain faculties, and it makes me nervous to think I might end up needing higher levels assistance later on when I'm not as sharp as now or when I was younger.

To end on a positive note, there's no doubt I love that I'm in diapers every day and that I do constantly enjoy it. I do feel like I'm out of the norm though as far as having no choice in being incontinent or disabled and actually enjoying some aspects to a great degree. I guess I'm a horny diaper freak! lol I live a pretty full life, and thankfully the internet makes conversations like this possible. I'm never one to say "don't do it" but I like to share my experience along with hearing how others share their negative and positive experiences of actual incontinence and disability so others can make a better decision.

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On 6/29/2018 at 7:53 AM, Bettypooh said:

I guess this thread relates to desiring incontinence. There's no need to justify wanting anything, but should you want something and get it, you usually find it isn't like you thought it would be. Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it! 

As I get older my body is slowly breaking down on me. I'm finding the loss of mobility and ability to be the most distressing part of aging. The related pains are no fun either. I know for certain that I'd never want anything like the OP speaks of, especially if it meant only someone else changing my diapers when they wanted to without me being able to do anything about it if they didn't. A life like that would be horrible to me- YMMV though.

Bettypooh

Agree with you on not wanting to live like that.To me thats the same as being brain dead.And I would rather be dead

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