complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[Guilend]

15 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Sorry Aries, Seth isn't ending up in diapers 

I wouldn't want him in diapers anyway, i like it when a dom woman gets forced, tricked, blackmailed etc. Into wearing diapers.

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Eight

I sat parked on the street outside of Dani's apartment, waiting.  She had dropped a couple of hints that she was busy Saturday night, and I had assumed it was with Julian - so I waited, resting in the passenger seat of my locked car, reclined, watching the door to her building.  Worst case, I was wrong and wasting my night, but I was willing to bet that she was either going to meet him somewhere, or he was going to pick her up.

Sure enough, about an hour later, she walked out of the building and to her Prius.  I wished I had already gotten a chance to get my hands on her phone and set up a tracking signal.  Following someone the old fashioned way left both the chance of losing her and the chance of being caught.  I was confident in my ability to play it off if we "ran into" each other in public, but if she saw me following her while driving... that would be tougher to explain.

I slipped to the driver's seat, moving my butt over the console and sliding down, waiting three beats before I fired up the engine and began following her.  She was headed downtown - Sunnyvale had a nice little downtown area not terribly far from her place.  As I pulled into the parking space across the lot from her and watched her walk toward the restaurants, I took a moment to wind my hair up into a bun - an unusual style for me - and tie it back before slipping on my reading glasses and following her on foot.  I watched her step into a Mexican restaurant and hug a blond man an inch or two shorter than she was, before they sat down at a table together.

Could be a friend, could be Julian.  No way of knowing yet.  I settled into a table outside the Irish pub across the way, a spot where I could watch them and ordered a burger and fries - something simple so I could stay focused.  I snapped a couple of photos under the guise of getting a few shots of the downtown and ate my subpar burger, paying early and leaving a 100% tip so the server didn't try to shoo me away.  I watched as the two of them laughed and ate, shared a pitcher of margaritas - naughty girl, once again - and enjoyed each other's company.  Their body language didn't speak of old friends, they were still feeling each other out, still finding the shape of one another.

Following him back to his car was easy, as was memorizing his plate number.  White Accord, California plates - I had all the info I needed.  I watched as Dani climbed back into her car - he waited for her, they were going somewhere else next.  I frowned - I had gotten a good long look at him, he seemed like the engineer-wants-to-be-management type, white polo and khakis, short cut blond hair and a pearly smile.  He oozed "normal" - I hated him already.  Normal was always hiding something.  Normal never hurt, surrounded by all the other normals and lauded for their conformity.

Growth came from pain - the kind of pain you never felt growing up as a straight white male.  Sure, I was prejudiced in my own way, prejudiced against the overwhelming majority of people that looked exactly like Julian in the world, but I felt somewhat justified - I suffered enough at the hands of "normal" and the pursuit of conformity.  I sat behind the wheel of my car and sent an encrypted text to Seth.  I'd do some cursory checking myself as well, but if both of us were digging too deep on the same target, we'd set off alarms.  He was back to his usual routine during the week and there was very little chance of doing the social engineering these kinds of dives required on a Saturday night, so I'd have to wait.

And settle for making some newbies suffer at the hands of my smurf.  I wasn't feeling particularly gracious tonight.

*   *   *

I groaned as I rolled out of bed at the crack of noon on Sunday, kicking over a couple of hard cider empties on my way to the kitchen.  I'd clean all that up in a bit.  Sunday was cleaning day, after all.  I spotted the green light on my phone flashing from where it rested on the couch - I had forgotten to plug it in last night.  I'd stayed up way too late on Overwatch, drinking.  I grabbed my phone and tapped the fingerprint sensor, opening my messages.

DANI:  How's your job in Redwood going?  Any chance you're free Tuesday night?

Well shit, it was from two hours ago.  Why'd she have to pick Tuesday of this week?  I had to take Jess out, it was important.  Tuesday was great usually - lots of places declared it Ladies' Night in an attempt to bring in female clientele, often so the males had a better chance and finding someone... but I wasn't opposed to getting into places free even though the boys had zero chance with me.

The job is stressful but it's going well.  I can't do Tuesday, sorry.  I'm meeting a friend for drinks.  How about Wednesday night?

I sent the message and began my weekly routine, tidying and sorting, cleaning and recycling.  There was one room in the apartment that never needed tidying... though I wanted it to desperately.  I stood in the doorway and stared at the empty crib, a sigh passing my lips as the phone chimed again.

DANI:  Wednesday sounds good - where are we going?

The way she asked brought a smile to my face.  It wasn't so hard to imagine Dani in this room, in that crib - she wanted someone to care for her.  She didn't even want to suggest a restaurant, she wanted to be the submissive partner, she wanted someone else to be in control.  This week was going to be busy.

I have an idea.  How is your emotionally compromised worker?  Have you been able to help them?

Our conversation continued on and off throughout the day, mostly small talk - she wasn't the worker in question's manager, but she was taking on that role somewhat.  Apparently the actual manager wasn't very good at the human interaction part of the job, but very good at the logistics part - it was a shame, logistics were easy but a manager who could actually handle their subordinates well was worth their weight in gold.

I felt relaxed as I tidied up, enjoying the casual ease with which we conversed, but my relaxation was shattered by an unexpected message.

UNKNOWN:  Call Kailee.  Aubrey.

I sighed wearily, all of the good feelings I had been gaining from talking with Dani shattered and washed away.  Kailee didn't have the ability to call me - I had the phone set to send any of the numbers she usually used directly to voicemail and then delete the message.  I allowed unknown texts only because I got job leads that way frequently enough that it was worth deleting a rogue message every now and again.  I sat down on the couch in my freshly cleaned living room and dialed the one person I really, deeply did not want to talk to right now.

"Hewwo mommy," her cutesy voice greeted me.  "You said you wanted to be fwiends, but you never called me."

"I do, Kailee - but I've been busy this week, I'm sure Aubrey has told you that."

"Aubrey says you're going to her company to make people sad," she accused.  "Why do you do that?  Why do you hurt people?"

"I don't set out to hurt people," I countered, "My job is to keep companies from collapsing - and sometimes the problem is that they have too many people, or the wrong people.  I'll be able to talk to you more after the job is done."

"I want to see you," I could see the pout on her face from her voice.  "I miss you."  It was baffling to me now that I had ever found that pout cute, those mannerisms.  I had thought it was simple cover atop a hidden depth, but that turned out to be false - Kailee was shallow and uncaring, her pout wasn't some game, some façade - it's how she really was.  My day with Jess had just reinforced how things could be, with the right partner - and Jess still had a lot of learning and growing to do herself, but she was leaps and bounds ahead of Kailee.

"I know," I said soothingly, "I know you do.  You're probably feeling a little lonely right now.  But you have Aubrey, don't you?  Are you guys going to watch some cartoons today?"

"Aubrey doesn't want to play with me that way," she groused.  "I want my mommy back."

"I'm not anyone's mommy right now, Kailee.  And I can't be yours, either.  We both hurt, we need to focus on being friends first.  Have you tried going to the club?"  The easist solution to my whole problem would be Kailee finding another dom, someone to hold her attention.  She was a bad sub, she was selfish and uncaring and didn't want to devote the time and trust it took to have a deeper relationship... but there were plenty of bad doms out there that fit her just fine.  I knew that for a fact, I had met a few at the club.

"The club is stupid," the pout was back in full force, "They told me I can't come back any more."  Well, that was good news at least, maybe I'd have to visit again.  "But I don't wanna meet anyone else, I want you."  I couldn't say I was terribly surprised that she had been kicked out, after all.  She had probably violated someone else's scene, tried to force her way into a play for attention - Kailee's grasp of boundaries was tenuous at best.

"You want someone to take care of you, right?"

"Yes mommy," her cutesy voice still turned my stomach, but I pressed on.

"That can't be me right now, I have too much work to do.  You need someone who can devote their time to caring for you, to helping you find your best self."

"Aubrey said you have to do what I want."  There it was.  I had been expecting this one.

"Oh, you want to be the mommy?"

"No!  I want you to be the mommy," she whined.  "You hafta!"

"I don't believe the Little gets to tell the mommy what they have to do, is that how it works?  You want to be the boss, you want to make the decisions?"

"No, no... I want you to be the boss," she sounded frustrated, confused.

"Then I don't have to do what you want - if you want me to be the boss, we have to be friends again first.  You know I'm right."

"Yes mommy," she replied sullenly.

"I have work to do, Kailee.  I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay but don't make me wait so long next time."  She was petulant, still trying to top from the bottom in the worst way.  There was a right way to do it and a wrong way - the right way involved communicating your needs and expectations, maybe even having the upper hand over the caregiver for a short time... but it wasn't about forcing the caregiver to play their role the way the Little wanted.  That had to be a gift freely given, and it didn't seem like Kailee was ever going to understand that.

"You have a decision to make for yourself," I told her simply.  "You keep talking like you want to be the boss, but you also want someone to take care of you, to command you.  If you want someone else in control, you have to let them take that control on their own, and only someone - a friend - you trust very well can do that.  Think on it, Kailee.  We can still be friends, but you have to want that first."

And with that, I hung up on her.  She had come close to learning that lesson a few times, but I honestly didn't think she would ever get there.  She wasn't interested in real growth, she was interested in short-term pleasure and it didn't really matter who she hurt - including herself - to get it.

[YourFNF]

23 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Chapter Eight

I sat parked on the street outside of Dani's apartment, waiting.  She had dropped a couple of hints that she was busy Saturday night, and I had assumed it was with Julian - so I waited, resting in the passenger seat of my locked car, reclined, watching the door to her building.  Worst case, I was wrong and wasting my night, but I was willing to bet that she was either going to meet him somewhere, or he was going to pick her up.

Sure enough, about an hour later, she walked out of the building and to her Prius.  I wished I had already gotten a chance to get my hands on her phone and set up a tracking signal.  Following someone the old fashioned way left both the chance of losing her and the chance of being caught.  I was confident in my ability to play it off if we "ran into" each other in public, but if she saw me following her while driving... that would be tougher to explain.

I slipped to the driver's seat, moving my butt over the console and sliding down, waiting three beats before I fired up the engine and began following her.  She was headed downtown - Sunnyvale had a nice little downtown area not terribly far from her place.  As I pulled into the parking space across the lot from her and watched her walk toward the restaurants, I took a moment to wind my hair up into a bun - an unusual style for me - and tie it back before slipping on my reading glasses and following her on foot.  I watched her step into a Mexican restaurant and hug a blond man an inch or two shorter than she was, before they sat down at a table together.

Could be a friend, could be Julian.  No way of knowing yet.  I settled into a table outside the Irish pub across the way, a spot where I could watch them and ordered a burger and fries - something simple so I could stay focused.  I snapped a couple of photos under the guise of getting a few shots of the downtown and ate my subpar burger, paying early and leaving a 100% tip so the server didn't try to shoo me away.  I watched as the two of them laughed and ate, shared a pitcher of margaritas - naughty girl, once again - and enjoyed each other's company.  Their body language didn't speak of old friends, they were still feeling each other out, still finding the shape of one another.

Following him back to his car was easy, as was memorizing his plate number.  White Accord, California plates - I had all the info I needed.  I watched as Dani climbed back into her car - he waited for her, they were going somewhere else next.  I frowned - I had gotten a good long look at him, he seemed like the engineer-wants-to-be-management type, white polo and khakis, short cut blond hair and a pearly smile.  He oozed "normal" - I hated him already.  Normal was always hiding something.  Normal never hurt, surrounded by all the other normals and lauded for their conformity.

Growth came from pain - the kind of pain you never felt growing up as a straight white male.  Sure, I was prejudiced in my own way, prejudiced against the overwhelming majority of people that looked exactly like Julian in the world, but I felt somewhat justified - I suffered enough at the hands of "normal" and the pursuit of conformity.  I sat behind the wheel of my car and sent an encrypted text to Seth.  I'd do some cursory checking myself as well, but if both of us were digging too deep on the same target, we'd set off alarms.  He was back to his usual routine during the week and there was very little chance of doing the social engineering these kinds of dives required on a Saturday night, so I'd have to wait.

And settle for making some newbies suffer at the hands of my smurf.  I wasn't feeling particularly gracious tonight.

 

Damn Vanessa is actually close to serious operator levels. I would not wanna fuck with this chick. She comes after me I'm staying strapped and locked with that .40 cal s&w talon heat.

[ELLIE52]

1 hour ago, bbykimmy said:

I suffered enough at the hands of "normal" and the pursuit of conformity

Those words really struck home.

There was a lot to like about this chapter, but I'm not going into detail.  The wording, the writing - wonderful.

The pleasant surprise was the fact that Dani called Vanessa for a date after her other date with Julian - maybe the date wasn't everything she thought it would be.     There is some glint of hope.

[chansu ragedashi]

7 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

Here's the problem with a Jess+Seth side-story... if it's a story I'm writing, there's going to be big emotions going on, do you really want to put poor Jess through that?

I mean, there's a little corner of my mind that wouldnt want Jess to suffer. but the rest of me would love to find out more about her and see her in some of the predicaments that led to her and seth having the relationship they currently enjoy.

[Wannatripbaby]

 ... Okay maybe the others have a point about Vanessa's stalking being a little creepy.

Also I Love how Vanessa turned the tables on Kailee when she tried to play the blackmail card. Priceless!

[thedman]

I vote for a Seth and Jess side story. It will be so much fun

[Wannatripbaby]

8 minutes ago, thedman said:

I vote for a Seth and Jess side story. It will be so much fun

I vote STRONGLY against it.

When has taking a side character from a story, movie, tv show, etc. And making them the main focus EVER worked? We have countless examples of when that failed miserably. The Penguins of Madagascar movie. The Minions movie. Richie Brockleman P.I. (never heard of that one, have you? There's a good reason for that. It only ran for 3 episodes before being cancelled.)

Sometimes side characters are good BECAUSE they're side characters. They were designed to support the Protagonist and as such giving them their own full-length story would actually take away an intrinsic element of what makes them so enjoyable.

[chansu ragedashi]

19 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I vote STRONGLY against it.

When has taking a side character from a story, movie, tv show, etc. And making them the main focus EVER worked?

I mean, I'm with Trip on this if I'm being totally serious. I was trying to playfully urge the plot along and poke some fun at Kimmy's voting system on this story. I want to find out where Kimmy is gonna go with Dani. I'm so impatient when it comes to good stories!

[bbykimmy]

12 hours ago, ELLIE52 said:

Those words really struck home.

There was a lot to like about this chapter, but I'm not going into detail.  The wording, the writing - wonderful.

Thank you for the compliments, I appreciate it.  Chasing normal is a thing that has caused me a lot of pain in life, trying to look the way people think I should, trying to ignore this fetish... But my truth is this:  if you're not hurting anyone, including yourself, then you're fine and keep doing you.  It's still hard sometimes

6 hours ago, chansu ragedashi said:

I mean, there's a little corner of my mind that wouldnt want Jess to suffer. but the rest of me would love to find out more about her and see her in some of the predicaments that led to her and seth having the relationship they currently enjoy.

You'll find out more about them as the story goes on, Jess has a date with Vanessa now, after all.  And I just wrote an entire Seth+Jess chapter last night.  It came out longer than expected because I was having too much fun.

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

 ... Okay maybe the others have a point about Vanessa's stalking being a little creepy.

Also I Love how Vanessa turned the tables on Kailee when she tried to play the blackmail card. Priceless!

Well SHE thinks it's normal, so that's okay, right?  (The answer is no)

[bbykimmy]

4 hours ago, thedman said:

I vote for a Seth and Jess side story. It will be so much fun

I'm not saying 100% no, but it's not likely.  They'd need an antagonist and a potential tragedy.  It wouldn't be a prequel for sure because there would be no dramatic tension.  Their relationship might not survive, and that would be sad

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I vote STRONGLY against it.

When has taking a side character from a story, movie, tv show, etc. And making them the main focus EVER worked? We have countless examples of when that failed miserably. The Penguins of Madagascar movie. The Minions movie. Richie Brockleman P.I. (never heard of that one, have you? There's a good reason for that. It only ran for 3 episodes before being cancelled.)

Sometimes side characters are good BECAUSE they're side characters. They were designed to support the Protagonist and as such giving them their own full-length story would actually take away an intrinsic element of what makes them so enjoyable.

I think I could do it justice, but the outcome might make the audience unhappy, I'm not opposed to killing off characters.  (No spoilers to any of my other stories please)

[thedman]

Murder death kill! Murder death kill! Now this is sounding like a fun spinoff 

[YourFNF]

8 minutes ago, thedman said:

Murder death kill! Murder death kill! Now this is sounding like a fun spinoff 

Damn and I thought I was agro..... lol

[RPMolly]

So bold prediction that defiantly won't come true, Dani likes Julian a bit more than she expected because he appeals to her supressed Mommy side that she has so desperately been looking to unleash, and Vanessa is really her from the future with a time machine invented by Jess who is secretly a super genius to warn her to chill out a little before she turns into her. 

And then kill Sarah Connor

[bbykimmy]

12 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

So bold prediction that defiantly won't come true, Dani likes Julian a bit more than she expected because he appeals to her supressed Mommy side that she has so desperately been looking to unleash, and Vanessa is really her from the future with a time machine invented by Jess who is secretly a super genius to warn her to chill out a little before she turns into her. 

And then kill Sarah Connor

Crap, now I have to change the ending

[Guilend]

4 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Crap, now I have to change the ending

Yeah, killing off Sarah Conner would be forseen, good to stay clear of that.

I know, Dani is actually a Dom and the whole time Vanessa is trying to lure her in, Dani is slowly turning her into a sub, at the end Vanessa wakes up in a crib in a messy diaper wondering how things turned around on her.

[YourFNF]

19 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

So bold prediction that defiantly won't come true, Dani likes Julian a bit more than she expected because he appeals to her supressed Mommy side that she has so desperately been looking to unleash, and Vanessa is really her from the future with a time machine invented by Jess who is secretly a super genius to warn her to chill out a little before she turns into her. 

And then kill Sarah Connor

Can I have whatever your having? It sounds amazing. Preferably in the form of bite sized snacks.

[RPMolly]

3 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Can I have whatever your having? It sounds amazing.

Sure it's called to much free time, being a weirdo and lack of New Dragon Age games to complete

[YourFNF]

3 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

Sure it's called to much free time, being a weirdo and lack of New Dragon Age games to complete

lol mood

[RambleLamb]

My imagination is fixed on this little breadcrumb:

On 6/27/2018 at 12:27 AM, bbykimmy said:

I watched her step into a Mexican restaurant and hug a blond man an inch or two shorter than she was

This is telling me that Dani is an undercover boss and is looking for practice dummies to hone her Domme skills but not necessarily looking to make Julian her little. I don't think she's trying to level up specifically for Vanessa, but maybe she recognizes a worthy opponent when she see's one and wants to better her chances of coming out on top. Maybe she's not a Mommy Domme at all and will be surprised when Vanessa springs her trap of diapers and baby stuff and counters with her OP BDSM skills leading to a sexy stalemate. Sexy stalemate is the name of my barbershop quartet that only covers 90's R&B songs.

The story is great and it has me guessing plot points which I never do because I like to be surprised. I can't wait for more of this fireworks factory tour!

[Wannatripbaby]

26 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

On 6/27/2018 at 1:27 AM, bbykimmy said:

I watched her step into a Mexican restaurant and hug a blond man an inch or two shorter than she was

This is telling me that Dani is an undercover boss and is looking for practice dummies to hone her Domme skills but not necessarily looking to make Julian her little. I don't think she's trying to level up specifically for Vanessa, but maybe she recognizes a worthy opponent when she see's one and wants to better her chances of coming out on top. Maybe she's not a Mommy Domme at all and will be surprised when Vanessa springs her trap of diapers and baby stuff and counters with her OP BDSM skills leading to a sexy stalemate.

Dear God... No...

26 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

Sexy stalemate is the name of my barbershop quartet that only covers 90's R&B songs.

 This made my morning!

27 minutes ago, RambleLamb said:

it has me guessing plot points which I never do because I like to be surprised.

You should TOTALLY guess more often! Your imagination is HILARIOUS! ♡♡♡

[Guilend]

I am just setting here, patiently waiting for the next chapter. @bbykimmy

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Nine

I stretched as I stood, waiting, in Seth's living room.  I had decided to go with a simple style tonight, my hair was down - a few locks braided near my temple to hold some beads, otherwise flowing free.  I had chosen a pair of deliciously tight black jeans and sneakers sporting a flaming heart, along with a small t-shirt - Sir Sly, white on black and very form-fitting.

I wondered idly what he would have Jess wear - if she would be padded - but I didn't have to wonder long.

Jess stepped out into the living room timidly, her arms wrapped tightly around one of Seth's as he guided her.  She wore a simple one-piece dress, a blue skirt and black top with a few bands around the waist, the short sleeves hanging down over her upper arms elegantly.  It was a very mature look, but I could hear the crinkle as she moved.  She was still well-diapered under there.  No one else would know, it wasn't a thing most people even thought to listen for, but I knew that sound very well.  Her hair fell in blonde waves around her face, her makeup was simple but there - more than she usually wore - and she had lovely hoop earrings that went well with her ensemble.

"Is this Jess' older sister?" I teased, crouching down a bit so our eyes were level, "Hello there, you look quite mature - your sister is cute as a button, but she's terrible at potty training.  How about you?"

"Nessaaaaa," she whined buring her face in Seth's arm.

"This one's no better," Seth joined in, turning Jess around and lifting her skirt.  "Not potty trained at all.  She has to be kept in the thickest of diapers, look at these."

"Oh they are cute," I continued as Jess pushed her skirt down, blushing fiercely.  The small woman was adorable - Seth was tall and Jess only stood to his shoulder, she came to my nose at least.  It wasn't a terribly big surprise that she was a Little.

"I thought I was supposed to be adult tonight," she complained, pouting and defeating her own point.  "I thought that was the whole idea?"

"It is," I confirmed.  "But you can't blame us for teasing you just a little.  Your blush is darling."

Seth laughed and kissed Jess sweetly, pulling her to him and bending down slightly - though she still stood on her toes so he didn't have to bend quite so far.  I wondered what it would feel like to have a lover so much smaller than I was - Kailee was as close as I'd come, she was four inches shorter than me.  Dani was only two inches or so shorter.  Seth seemed to like it, and I wagered that Jess did too given that Littles preferred to feel small, in general.

"You're going to be an adult," I confirmed.  "The padding is just a precaution, given that you've been 24/7 for quite a while now.  No one will ever know, I won't do anything to embarrass you."

Jess nodded and Seth gave her a small nudge with a hand to the small of her back.

"I love you, Cupcake," he smiled and blew her a kiss.

"I love you too, Daddy," she grinned as we slipped through the door, making a heart-shaped gesture at him with her hands.

*   *   *

I let Jess pick the restaurant - Seth liked keeping her in the dark whenever they went out.  She wouldn't know where they were eating until they got there, it was just part of their dynamic.  Honestly, I wondered what she really thought of that... the fact that she had an answer instantly said quite a bit.  She wanted Korean - I wasn't a huge fan of the cuisine and I knew for a fact that Seth didn't like it at all, some vendetta against fermented vegetables.

"Thanks for letting me pick," she whispered as she sat down across from me.  "I never get to have Korean anymore, it used to be my favorite."

"Of course," I smiled warmly to her, not a condescending smile, but a friendly smile.  "When was the last time you went out this way?"

"Gosh," she shrugged as she lay her napkin across her lap, "I don't know - six months?"

"You haven't stepped outside of your dynamic at all in six months?" I asked, genuinely surprised.  That wasn't healthy.

"No, that's not true," her smile was easy and comfortable - she wasn't feeling threatened by the question, that was good.  "Seth and I have adult time, and sometimes we go hang out with some other people from the club, but I almost never go out without him.  I get a break from littlespace pretty regularly."

I decided not to press the issue any further, no sense in potentially ruining our night before it had even begun.  She ordered a mild bibimbap, I ordered a spicy one - it was my favorite dish as far as Korean went - the way you could mix the flavors in your own time, paints on the palette of your bowl, it was culinarily entertaining.

"So," she began, unable to take more than a few moments of silence after the waiter took our order.  "Will you tell me about your new girlfriend?  Her name is Dani, right?"

"Yeah.  She's a year or two younger than me.  Taller than you - but that's not terribly hard," Jess stuck her tongue out at me for that one, but I continued anyway, "Young professional type, very serious career-woman.  She prefers a bohemian style, lots of chunky jewelry and earthy tones, it's nice."

"What makes you think she's a Little?  That's why you're trying to catch her eye, right?"

"She's got some subtle tells," I explained, "But what tipped me off initially was her purse - it's shaped like a squirrel."

"Oh em gee," she actually said the letters - I always found that mannerism of hers to be ridiculous, "Yeah, that's a pretty big tell - like, that's her everyday purse that she carries around normally?"

"She was carrying it at a nightclub," I smiled.  "So yeah, pretty big.  It's adorable... she's adorable."  The smile I wore now was an easy one, it came naturally - a rare, true reflection of how I genuinely felt: content and hopeful.

"Is she already in the scene?" Jess asked, lowering her voice as if anyone cared.

"I've never seen her at the club - not that I go very often any more... no, I think she's a vanilla waiting to find her spice and she just doesn't know it.  Truth be told, that's what I'm hoping for."

"I hope she is, Nessa.  I think doing double dates with you and your Little would be awesome... and playdates.  We've gone out to dinner with a couple of the other clubgoers, and I get along great with the other Littles, but you know Daddy.  He's so standoffish.  He finds something wrong with everyone we hang out with - that guy is too religious, it's creepy.  That girl chews with her mouth open - which he hates.  That couple can't stop laughing at awkward moments.  Et cetera, you know how he is."

"I do at that," I agreed, "Seth likes things the way he likes things."

"I'm glad you're his friend, Nessa.  I like you a lot.  In a way, you two are really similar.  You've both got this calm, in control attitude.  And you're both really scary when you're mad... but it's like this quiet mad.  Daddy would be less scary if he yelled, I think."

"I'm glad he's my friend, too."  I chose not to comment on Seth's temper.

Watching Jess eat was mildly hilarious - her chopsticks technique left a lot to be desired, but her overjoyed expression as she ate her favorite meal showed no self-consciousness.  Jess - especially this Jess who sat before me now, who had been with Seth for over two years as his live-in Little - had a childlike glee that most adults didn't have.  Seth had seen it in her early on, when she was a burned out restaurant manager... when she was Jessica.  Seth had seen that spark in her, that inner child, right away.  I had been there when they met, it was a rare client dinner where both of us had the same customer.  Imagining that sharp, pinched woman sitting here with me now was impossible - Seth had unlocked her Little self and while I think Jess could have rejoined the workforce if she wanted to, she was much happier this way.  She sold some homemade jewelry online, but for the most part her life was strikingly similar to a three year-old's.

When she was done, she politely sat her chopsticks on the edge of the bowl and relaxed in her chair with a look of pure contentment on her face.

"Oh," she groaned happily, "That hit the spot.  Thanks Nessa."

"Are you going to be too full to go dancing?  When was the last time you even had a drink?"

"I drink," she said defensively, "Daddy says I'm giggly when I drink, so I drink at home sometimes... like once a month."

"Really?  That's surprising, considering Seth never drinks."

"He doesn't drink with me... but he'll put something nice in a sip- " she cut off as the waiter came back to collect her bowl, blushing that she almost admitted to drinking from a sippy cup at home.

"Is this on one check or two?" he asked, that eternal question that I had to deal with no matter how affectionate I was being to whatever woman was with me.  Despite being in the Bay Area, it seemed unfathomable that a pair of ladies could be, well.. a pair.

"One check," I smiled my polite-professional smile, there was no point in showing that the all-too-common attitude bothered me.  The few times a date and I had been correctly identified, I had left a 200% tip.

"Thanks, Nessa," Jess grinned sheepishly.  "Anyway, yes - I can still go dancing tonight, no worries."

*   *   *

"Wow," Jess whispered to me, my arm gently around her waist as I guided her into the club.  "There aren't many guys here at all."

"Not on a Tuesday," I smiled - it was, in fact, Ladies' Night at this particular club and I had observed quite some time ago that despite being a prime invitation, guys just didn't seem too common at these.  Not that I was complaining, mind you.  "Are you hoping to hit on a guy?" I teased.

"No!" she half-gasped, half-grinned.  "Just sometimes... it's nice if they try.  I haven't done this in a long time."

"Want to know if you've still got it?"

"Not really," she shrugged as we sat down at the bar together, "I honestly can't imagine life the way I lived before.  Is that pathetic?  I really like just being... Little."

"Is it pathetic to enjoy yourself?  No, I don't think so."

"No, that's not what I mean," she pursed her lips as I ordered our drinks - a hard cider for her, one of my favorites that I thought she'd like: a raspberry, and a Jack and Coke for me.  "I mean, do you think it's a little pathetic... you know, the way I live?  I'm not exactly the postergirl for female empowerment."

"Hey," I said gently, setting my hand on hers.  "Feminism is about the freedom from the traditional roles - but it doesn't mean that the sub role is inherently bad.  If that role brings you joy, if you're not being oppressed against your will, then who cares if you're not Ms. Career Woman.  You lived that life, and it almost ate your soul."

"Yeah," she grimaced her agreement as she sipped the cider.  "Oh, this is good."

"I thought you'd like it."

"I just... sometimes I feel guilty, like I should be doing more with my life.  I'm giving up a lot, I basically walked away from my career.  It's hard to get that back once you throw it away, what if... "

"Are you going to throw away," I interrupted her, squeezing her hand gently, "something that makes you happy right now on the possibility that things might be hard later?  It's good to plan ahead, it's good to prepare for potential hard times, but should you deny yourself something that feels right and makes both you and Seth happy so you can fulfill some sort of modern female ideal?  I think you're doing the right thing, just where you are.  And I say that as Ms. Career Woman.  It's okay that you enjoy your relationship and the feelings it gives you."

"You're so damned smart," Jess smirked.  "Thanks, Nessa.  You're a good friend."

"You are too - now let's have a dance or two before I have to get you home.  I won't even tell Seth about the naughty word you just said."

After her blush faded, Jess really opened up when we hit the floor - I wasn't especially big on dancing myself, but she knew how her body moved and she enjoyed it.  She was fluid, sensual.  She had a sex appeal to her that I couldn't imagine Dani possessing - I certainly didn't have it either.  She did end up getting hit on but let him down gently - I wondered what his reaction would be if he knew what was hiding under that skirt.  I actually had to move to block someone from grabbing her butt at one point, so she wouldn't be discovered.  I gave the guy a fiery, possessive look and he backed off before Jess noticed.  She was walking on clouds after the all the attention that night, I didn't want some misguided shame ruining that.  She loved that people were flirting with her, she loved that she was wanted.

Everyone wants to feel wanted, after all.

[ELLIE52]

18 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I gave the guy a fiery, possessive look and he backed off before Dani noticed. 

Dani? or Jess.....

[RambleLamb]

I'm once again out of thingies to give, but you know they'll be coming.

I really like Jess being out of Little space. There's something very sweet about her having this experience and seeing that even though she's a Little and she's being allowed to have supervised Big time, it's done in a way that reinforces her love of Seth and the life she lives with him. I like it a lot and I'm really impressed with the way you handled it.