complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[ELLIE52]

On 8/3/2018 at 12:57 PM, bbykimmy said:

I figured if anyone was going to ask, it was going to be you - you have an incredible memory, Ellie.

I was actually listening to a lot of Red Hot Chili Peppers when I first wrote the first chapter to this story - and Breaking the Girl is a great song, and I knew I wanted the story to be about a domme pursuing a sub and breaking her in.  It turned out to be much more than that and the title works really, really well because by the end, every girl is broken in one way or another, including me as the author (I did break and give it a happy ending).

For the second question...

My middle name is Danielle

I feel like we were just clued in to a secret.  I think Danielle is a beautiful name.

 

[thedman]

@bbykimmy Thank You for such an amazing story. I knew that it had great promise from day one and was never dissapointed. You took us through such an emotional roller coaster and taught us so many things about different personalities and mental states. Also I'm really glad that we got a happy ending out of this one. You can save all of the nasty cruelness for "Save Yourself"

[bbykimmy]

3 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

For me it was when she installed the tracker. I was like "Yeah, maybe she's crossed a line somewhere... ?"

Really?  It wasn't when she was sitting in her car outside Dani's apartment, literally following her like it was a spy movie and sitting across the street, watching her date?

Go back and read the beginning again, Vanessa's sociopathy is plain as day

36 minutes ago, thedman said:

@bbykimmy Thank You for such an amazing story. I knew that it had great promise from day one and was never dissapointed. You took us through such an emotional roller coaster and taught us so many things about different personalities and mental states. Also I'm really glad that we got a happy ending out of this one. You can save all of the nasty cruelness for "Save Yourself"

Thank you for reading it!

It was a rollercoaster and I had a lot of fun building it and watching everyone ride it.

I'll go back to "Save Yourself" eventually, but next we go to a brand new world with "Sightlines"... but first, I'll be posting a one-shot short story on Monday, back in the DD.

[Wannatripbaby]

8 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Really?  It wasn't when she was sitting in her car outside Dani's apartment, literally following her like it was a spy movie and sitting across the street, watching her date?

Go back and read the beginning again, Vanessa's sociopathy is plain as day

As we've established, I kinda have a blind spot for Vanessa because I consider myself to be a lot like her. I recognize that she's a sociopath. I just don't consider that to be quite the "bad thing" that most people do.

Watching Dani's date, while a bit creepy, is forgivable in my eyes since she's still in the "recon phase" of dating. And there's no explicit law saying you can't sit in a restaurant and watch people in another restaurant. Please understand that I'm playing Devil's Advocate here.

However, there is NO justification for her installing a GPS tracker on her phone without her permission. I mean, it might be one thing if she expected Dani to disappear or be in some kind of danger in the near future (although that's still pushing credibility) but it was very clear that she was doing it because she to satisfy her need to control Dani because she's paranoid and didn't trust her.

[chansu ragedashi]

That was a good ending. I love that you were even thoughtful enough to show that it doesn't need to be clinically severe for a mental disorder to affect someone's life in devastating ways.

 

And look! It's the closest you've ever been to writing the words 'and they lived happily ever after' in a story ending! It wasn't storybook perfect by any means, but they are together, happy, and improving (which in my opinion is the IRL equivalent to happily ever after.) Vanessa/Dani makes me jealous because it's working so well and that's a great goal for a relationship. (maybe Seth needs to see the same person Vanessa is... especially if he's jealous that Jess is making friends and having fun.)

[bbykimmy]

7 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

As we've established, I kinda have a blind spot for Vanessa because I consider myself to be a lot like her. I recognize that she's a sociopath. I just don't consider that to be quite the "bad thing" that most people do.

Watching Dani's date, while a bit creepy, is forgivable in my eyes since she's still in the "recon phase" of dating. And there's no explicit law saying you can't sit in a restaurant and watch people in another restaurant. Please understand that I'm playing Devil's Advocate here.

However, there is NO justification for her installing a GPS tracker on her phone without her permission. I mean, it might be one thing if she expected Dani to disappear or be in some kind of danger in the near future (although that's still pushing credibility) but it was very clear that she was doing it because she to satisfy her need to control Dani because she's paranoid and didn't trust her.

Everyone has a right to privacy.  It wouldn't have mattered if Dani and Vanessa had been married for ten years, stalking her and spying on her without her knowledge is morally wrong.  The correct thing to do would be to ask and be vulnerable.  "I feel really insecure that you're going on this date.  I'm not trying to stop you, but I really like you and I'm afraid you'll like this other person more than me.  I respect your right to choose and if you choose this other person over me, I'll be sad, but I'll understand and forgive you because you're really important to me."

But the story would have been much less dramatic

As for the reasoning for the GPS... it wasn't that she didn't trust Dani, that's not why she installed it.  She installed it just in case, just in case she needed to know where Dani was - she used it for things like making sure Dani's food was warm.  Vanessa was so far gone, so used to ignoring everyone's right to privacy that it never occurred to her that it was the wrong thing to do.

4 minutes ago, chansu ragedashi said:

That was a good ending. I love that you were even thoughtful enough to show that it doesn't need to be clinically severe for a mental disorder to affect someone's life in devastating ways.

 

And look! It's the closest you've ever been to writing the words 'and they lived happily ever after' in a story ending! It wasn't storybook perfect by any means, but they are together, happy, and improving (which in my opinion is the IRL equivalent to happily ever after.) Vanessa/Dani makes me jealous because it's working so well and that's a great goal for a relationship. (maybe Seth needs to see the same person Vanessa is... especially if he's jealous that Jess is making friends and having fun.)

It was an uncharacteristically happy ending for my writing  

But then that was nice because it was unexpected

And yeah - this is probably the happiest ending of my 3 books in some ways (no spoilers).  You can find the person for you, chansu.  There's someone out there for everyone.  It's trite, but the old adage that you have to love yourself before anyone will love you the way you deserve is true.  I wish I had believed it many, many years ago.

And Seth absolutely needs to see a professional.  He has issues, and him being sad over Jess growing less dependent upon him is a bad sign.

Which is why we won't be seeing a Seth/Jess story.  It would make me very sad if they broke up, I loves them.

[Sarah Penguin]

That was an enjoyable ride

 

[Wannatripbaby]

2 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

Everyone has a right to privacy

That reminds me: Have any of you ever watched Person of Interest? It's this amazing show on Netflix about a computer genius who invents a machine that can predict violent crimes and teams up with an ex-hitman to stop them before anyone gets hurt.

I bring that up because the later seasons (I'm only up to season 4 so far) deal a lot with Personal Privacy vs. Personal Safety. What sacrifices are you willing to make for privacy? What if the only reason you're alive today is because someone violated your privacy without your knowledge? It really presents the problem in a fair light that only fiction can accomplish.

That might have something to do with why I'm a bit loose-moraled on the problem of Vanessa's privacy violations.

[ForTheGlory]

You had me going there for a bit, I was almost positive it would be a fairly sad ending. You've done an amazing job as usual.

[diapernocturnus]

Can't believe it is finished it was soooo good, thanks for writing such a great story also is there anywhere to get a PDF to save forever

 

3 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

That reminds me: Have any of you ever watched Person of Interest? It's this amazing show on Netflix about a computer genius who invents a machine that can predict violent crimes and teams up with an ex-hitman to stop them before anyone gets hurt.

I bring that up because the later seasons (I'm only up to season 4 so far) deal a lot with Personal Privacy vs. Personal Safety. What sacrifices are you willing to make for privacy? What if the only reason you're alive today is because someone violated your privacy without your knowledge? It really presents the problem in a fair light that only fiction can accomplish.

That might have something to do with why I'm a bit loose-moraled on the problem of Vanessa's privacy violations.

I love Person of Interest I'm currently chugging my way through I started watching it when it first started but then the channel I watched on lost it to another channel so I never saw past then end of S1 but its so relevant in current times

[bbykimmy]

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

That reminds me: Have any of you ever watched Person of Interest? It's this amazing show on Netflix about a computer genius who invents a machine that can predict violent crimes and teams up with an ex-hitman to stop them before anyone gets hurt.

I bring that up because the later seasons (I'm only up to season 4 so far) deal a lot with Personal Privacy vs. Personal Safety. What sacrifices are you willing to make for privacy? What if the only reason you're alive today is because someone violated your privacy without your knowledge? It really presents the problem in a fair light that only fiction can accomplish.

That might have something to do with why I'm a bit loose-moraled on the problem of Vanessa's privacy violations.

As an Internet freedom fighter of old, privacy is pretty near and dear to my heart.  So as for the tradeoff?  It's not worth it.  Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.

I don't have much time to watch shows, I haven't watched a show since January, really - that's when my mommy-type and I started writing together, and I haven't really slowed down since.

3 hours ago, ForTheGlory said:

You had me going there for a bit, I was almost positive it would be a fairly sad ending. You've done an amazing job as usual.

Surprise!  I'm glad you enjoyed it

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

43 minutes ago, diapernocturnus said:

Can't believe it is finished it was soooo good, thanks for writing such a great story also is there anywhere to get a PDF to save forever

 

I love Person of Interest I'm currently chugging my way through I started watching it when it first started but then the channel I watched on lost it to another channel so I never saw past then end of S1 but its so relevant in current times

I'm actually seriously pondering commissioning some cover art of Vanessa and Dani and putting it up as an eBook.  I've never commissioned any artwork, but it's actually a real consideration for me today.

I'm really proud of this book.

[diapernocturnus]

4 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

As an Internet freedom fighter of old, privacy is pretty near and dear to my heart.  So as for the tradeoff?  It's not worth it.  Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.

I don't have much time to watch shows, I haven't watched a show since January, really - that's when my mommy-type and I started writing together, and I haven't really slowed down since.

Surprise!  I'm glad you enjoyed it

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I'm actually seriously pondering commissioning some cover art of Vanessa and Dani and putting it up as an eBook.  I've never commissioned any artwork, but it's actually a real consideration for me today.

I'm really proud of this book.

Well i'd chipin $5 for a ebook

[Wannatripbaby]

8 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I don't have much time to watch shows, I haven't watched a show since January, really - that's when my mommy-type and I started writing together, and I haven't really slowed down since.

I might be a bit biased, but I'd say you're better off and I'm totally not at all saying that because I love your writing. 

10 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I'm actually seriously pondering commissioning some cover art of Vanessa and Dani and putting it up as an eBook.  I've never commissioned any artwork, but it's actually a real consideration for me today.

That's sounds amazing! ?

[apollo1969]

BBK, I thought you didn't like happy endings? Perhaps I was misinformed in this thread, because that was the happiest ending I could imagine from the set up.

Vanessa gets therapy, while dani continues her professional life with a relationship that is surviving a major issue under the guidance of a therapist. 

I imagined that dani was going to break and just give in to the little game that Vanessa yearned for. I could see dani then falling to jess levels of dependence, and leave 'Nessa with a bittersweet victory. 

Your ending was far more heartwarming

[fyunch]

20 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

There is a small chance I might go back and edit this and turn the ABDL scenes into BDSM scenes and publish this on Amazon... the Little archetypes I presented also exist in BDSM (bratty sub, service sub, princess sub) and the diapers weren't really central to the plot... it just happens to be my (and your) fetish.  I'm also very subby in the "traditional" BDSM sense and a lot of this could translate.  The crib becomes a bondage bed, the Little clothing becomes fetishwear, pacis become gags, etc.

 

This is an interesting observation.  I haven't thought about it in this way, but I suppose there are a set of equivalences that can be mapped between the two worlds.  In the ABDL world the diaper maps to the collar in the BDSM world - both are pivotal symbols of the relationship between the top and the bottom (there's a terrible pun possible right there, but I'd rightly be expelled from DD if I took it any farther).  I suppose we can go further along understanding that, but I need to think about it a bunch.

Thanks, Kimmy, for that observation.  That comment is sort of a bridge for me between this story and Sunstone.

[Wannatripbaby]

9 minutes ago, fyunch said:

Thanks, Kimmy, for that observation.  That comment is sort of a bridge for me between this story and Sunstone.

Kimmy JUST introduced me to Sunstone a few days ago! I'd never heard of it before and now you just so happen to mention it 3 days after I learned about it!

Same thing happened to me recently with the word Glomp. I'd never heard of that word before and once it was explained to me everyone was Glomping left and right!

[fyunch]

7 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Kimmy JUST introduced me to Sunstone a few days ago! I'd never heard of it before and now you just so happen to mention it 3 days after I learned about it!

 

Sunstone appeared on Deviantart quite some time ago, maybe 2011.  It started out as some marvelously drawn and rather inventive B&D images by Shiniez, but evolved into a remarkably rich set of characters and storylines that really explore the emotional and operational dynamics of the D/S lifestyle.

[oregonrain]

On 8/1/2018 at 6:59 AM, bbykimmy said:

I do NOT  see Vanessa as a sociopath. Just because she stalks her potential mate, does  NOT make her sociopathic! Sociopaths are incapable of empathy. Vanessa is not like that. Throughout the story she has expressed empathy AND sympathy sincerely.    Stalking behavior does not define sociopath.  I.M.O.  the true "bad guy" is nobody, it the attitude of fear.

"

"I just wanted to know you better," Vanessa said.  It didn't make sense.  "I just wanted to know how to make you happy, I wanted to know if we were right for each other."

 

"I just wanted to love you," Vanessa said weakly.

"She's a sociopath," Lauren's hand was on my shoulder.  "She just wants someone for her sex games, she has no morals - it's why she's so damned good at her job.  She ruins peoples' lives for a living, Dani."

It didn't make sense.  Everything they were saying made sense, but when it was put all together, it didn't make sense.  I took my phone from Julian, staring at the screen.

"Dani, I'm sorry," Vanessa's voice floated across the void to me.

"You're sorry?" Lauren hissed.  "You're sorry?  You break into peoples' lives to find someone to date, you sick bitch!"

"Our whole relationship is built on a lie," my voice sounded a million miles away as the realization stared me in the face.  "You manipulated me.  You showed me what I wanted to see until I fell in love with you."

"I just wanted to give you the things you wanted, I wanted you to be happy... "

 

 

My heart was breaking.  I had destroyed Julian for her, I had thrown away part of my identity for her.  I had debased myself and surrendered to her game.

I had loved her.

My heart was breaking and I just sat there and cried.

*     *     *

"Stay the fuck out of my life, Lauren," I growled, picking up Dani's box and tossing it into the back seat of the car.  "You broke her fucking heart."

"I broke her heart?" Lauren echoed.  "You are a psycho, Vanessa.  I'm trying to save her from you."

"I never hurt you," I countered.  "I played a game you didn't like, and I didn't seek retribution when you left."

"You violated me," Lauren roared.  "Do you know how many identity protection services I signed up for to guard against your bullshit?"  I did, actually.  She had hired three - one of them was decent.

"I never harmed you," I objected.  "I never used any of that information against you, I never tried to bring you pain or sadness."

"You can't just break into peoples' accounts, Vanessa!  It's a crime for a reason!"

"And yet politicians hobble encryption at every turn," I sneered.  "I exploit holes in systems that they left.  There are ways to protect yourself, Lauren.  Just do some fucking research.  Safeguard your accounts - then it's harder for evil bogeymen like me."

"You're sick, Vanessa.  Get help."

"You've helped me quite enough," I snapped.  "I need to find her.  I love her."

"You're a sociopath," she sneered.  "I don't think you're even capable of love."

I got in the car and fired up the tracking app - but Dani had disabled it.  She couldn't have gotten far.  I fired up the engine and drove slowly in the direction she had run, watching for her.

I hated Lauren right then, more than I hated anyone before in my life.  She had ruined everything - after t

Anything.

a

[fyunch]

Well, let's contrast our reactions to Vanessa's behavior based on the modes of surveillance she used.

[1] What if she hired a private detective agency to follow Dani around and discover what she did?

[2] What if she hacked Dani's phone and credit cards and so on, as in the story?

If your reaction to [1] is different from your reaction to [2], why?

[ELLIE52]

24 minutes ago, fyunch said:

1] What if she hired a private detective agency to follow Dani around and discover what she did?

My thought on this one is that this procedure is done when someone is trying to find out if someone is cheating on them although the rich may do it in advance of dating I suppose to "vet" someone.

Probably I'm not the best one to reply to No. 2 as I knew it was a story and that it was part of the *plot* so to say.

But you do pose an interesting ?

[Wannatripbaby]

22 minutes ago, fyunch said:

Well, let's contrast our reactions to Vanessa's behavior based on the modes of surveillance she used.

[1] What if she hired a private detective agency to follow Dani around and discover what she did?

[2] What if she hacked Dani's phone and credit cards and so on, as in the story?

If your reaction to [1] is different from your reaction to [2], why?

For me they're one in the same. Except that 2 is more efficient and cost effective than hiring a detective.

7 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

My thought on this one is that this procedure is done when someone is trying to find out if someone is cheating on them although the rich may do it in advance of dating I suppose.

But people usually don't higher a detective unless they've already found some sort of evidence that their partner is cheating on them (unless they're just really paranoid.)

[fyunch]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

For me they're one in the same. Except that 2 is more efficient and cost effective than hiring a detective.

OK, but private detectives are legal.  We don't consider using one to be reprehensible to the point of total disgust.

[Wannatripbaby]

8 minutes ago, fyunch said:

OK, but private detectives are legal.  We don't consider using one to be reprehensible to the point of total disgust.

True, but the harm done would likely be the same. It would be an equal betrayal for Dani to find out Vanessa had been personally following her around as it would if she hired someone to do it for her. Actually, hiring a detective might be even MORE creepy!

[ELLIE52]

12 minutes ago, fyunch said:

OK, but private detectives are legal.  We don't consider using one to be reprehensible to the point of total disgust.

There are rules of conduct.  Essentially they are not allowed to break the law altho they may find a way around it.

[fyunch]

29 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

There are rules of conduct.  Essentially they are not allowed to break the law altho they may find a way around it.

I'm not suggesting that the hypothetical PI breaks the law.  Just follows Dani around surreptitiously and notices where she goes and with whom.

 

32 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

True, but the harm done would likely be the same. It would be an equal betrayal for Dani to find out Vanessa had been personally following her around as it would if she hired someone to do it for her. Actually, hiring a detective might be even MORE creepy!

Well, that's sort of interesting, since PIs are a relatively well-understood and accepted profession.  They are licensed by the government and it is presumably legitimate to hire one.