complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[herezulo]

Happy birthday! Thanks for another great chapter!

[bbykimmy]

4 hours ago, chansu ragedashi said:

Even without the pseudospoiler i can tell I'm going to enjoy reading where this blackmail goes and what Aubry is gonna do. Cunning antagonists are fun to follow (huh, now that i think about it, that's probably why I like almost all of your antagonists except Opal... she was just mean!)

Opal is the best antagonist ever! 

But we can't say too much, because there might be some people who are just getting introduced to my writing with this story.  Opal is the best character from "Making the Best of It", which is arguably my best story.  Even if you don't like Diaper Dimension stories, you might like that one.  Just ask Ramble Lamb   

2 hours ago, RambleLamb said:

Ooooooooooooooooh! I need popcorn before the next chapter! The plan is to eat it while I read, nodding excitedly from time to time and then throw the bowl and remaining popcorn into the air in exasperation when the chapter ends. Don't think I won't do it!

This is a great story and I'll be not so patiently waiting for the next chapter. 

New chapter will be tomorrow morning before I go to work!  So around 10 AM EST... Vanessa has a phone call to make :O

2 hours ago, herezulo said:

Happy birthday! Thanks for another great chapter!

Thank you for reading it!  It doesn't really matter if my stories are good or not if no one reads them. 

Thank you to everyone, commenters and not, for reading and enjoying my story.  And a special thank you to everyone who comments and makes me feel loved <3

[RambleLamb]

I don't think my work is going to like me eating/throwing popcorn, but it's for a good cause so they can just deal.

[YourFNF]

@bbykimmy  Happy birthday girl!!!

Also I see what you did there giving me a new target

[bbykimmy]

40 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

@bbykimmy  Happy birthday girl!!!

Also I see what you did there giving me a new target

I have noooo idea what you're talking about.  I just write down what the characters tell me

And as of right now, I have through chapter 18 written!  No idea how long this story wants to be yet.

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Six

"Hewwo mommy," Kailee's voice, squeaky and irritating came through the phone.  At some point during our playtime, she had realized that she could do a squeaky baby-voice that she found darling but I found unbearable.  Jess' lisp got irritating, Kailee's was cringeworthy.  I was two words into this conversation and I was already tired of it.  "Aubrey told me you'd call."

"Hello, Kailee," I said softly.  The first day in Redwood was done and I was exhausted, and unhappy with myself for giving in.  I knew logically that the correct course of action when being blackmailed was to beat the blackmailer to the punch - come clean and own the embarrassing deed and control the narrative.  

I could have just gone to Jeffery and said:  One of the employees here has compromising pictures from a segment of my life that is over and done with, she is going to attempt to show them to you.  What I do in my private time is irrelevant to this job, but she thinks that this will spare her.  It would take Aubrey's power away... but knowing a thing was easy, doing the thing was often harder.  She could turn around and spread them everywhere, damaging my reputation.  If all she wanted was a call with Kailee, then the cost was low enough just to roll with it.  I'd figure out how to handle the Benjamin situation later.  I could recommend he be moved to a different team... one that would recognize his faults rather than enable him.

But I also knew that the chances of this ending with one call were nil.

"I missed you, mommy," Kailee continued.  "Did you miss me?"

"Kailee, we had a lot of fun together, but we agreed that we weren't right for each other, that we needed to move on."

"No," her squeaky tone dropped, her voice suddenly sharp, "you agreed that I wasn't right for you, and you dumped me.  But you ruined me, mommy.  You spoiled me.  No one else wants to play with me the way you did.  I miss you... "

"Either party in a relationship has the right to dissolve it,"  I stifled a sigh, laying down on the couch of my apartment, glad to be home.  "It has to be right for both people for it to work."

"Where do you live now, mommy?" she ignored my point, of course.  "You moved and I don't know where you are now."

"Where I moved doesn't matter," I responded.  I wasn't letting her back in my life, she wasn't good for me.  She wasn't good enough for me.

"But I love you." 

My lips drew tight at her cutesy voice saying those words.  The sad thing was, she believed it.

"Kailee," I began, "I appreciate the time we spent together.  I appreciate the growth and learning that we gained, I appreciate the fun-"

"You appreciate the sex," she interrupted.  "We can do it again, mommy.  Let me remind you how much you loved me once."  I did love her once, before I realized that there was no truth to her.  Kailee would do anything I wanted, be anything I wanted, any time I wanted.  Even now, it was impossible to tell if she truly wanted any of this, or if she just wanted a place to sleep and free food and no responsibilities.  Getting her out of my life had been painful, and I didn't want her back in it.

"I can't," I was trying to let her down gently.  If I didn't, Aubrey would simply try to blackmail me further.  "I've moved on, I'm sorry you haven't.  You could make someone very happy, I know it, and you deserve to be happy."

"You've got another girlfriend, don't you?"  Her tone was curt, accusing.  "You've already got another girl."

"I don't," I did sigh this time, "I was just broken up with about a week ago."

"I know how much that hurts," she said, unable to hold back her passive aggressive nature.  "I want to see you.  I'm wearing your favorite diapers right now."  Guilt was like a second language to Kailee - she knew how to twist words, how to make someone feel bad despite the best of intentions.  She wasn't stupid - far from it, she was clever and sharp.  But she was damaged and despite all my urgings for her to find someone to talk to, find someone to help her heal from the wounds of her past, she wouldn't.  And you can't make someone help themselves, so I had no choice but to walk away.

"I can't," I had to be firm, had to hold that boundary.  "I'm willing to try and be friends again, but I'm not ready to open my heart."

"I didn't break your heart," she accused, "You broke mine."

"I never wanted to hurt you, that was never my goal.  I hope you understand that." 

"You're a liar, Vanessa," she hissed.  "You always lie, you've told countless lies in the time I've known you.  How can you even look in the mirror?"

It was true, I was a liar.  A social manipulator.  Telling a falsehood brought me no remorse in and of itself, people told lies all the time - often to themselves.  What was one more drop of water in an endless ocean?  Those who were closest to me knew my truths - and what Kailee was calling a lie... wasn't.  I hadn't wanted to hurt her, but I wasn't going to let her drag my life down with her damage.

"You're hurting, Kailee," I said softly, "I understand.  I'd be mad at me too if I were in your situation.  Do you still want to be friends?"  There was no point in arguing with her, Aubrey had the cards - if I shut Kailee down, she'd just make another demand.  But if Kailee walked away on her own then Aubrey lost her leverage - too many demands and I'd show the photos myself first, and then she'd lose out on what she wanted.  While Aubrey and Kailee were "besties" as they said, I knew for a fact that Aubrey would turn on her in a hot minute.

"I do," she whispered, "I miss you."

"Then we'll talk again," I assured her.  "But you're sleepy and I'm tired.  Say goodnight, Kailee."

"Night mommy."

*   *   *

Wednesday morning came too soon and not soon enough at the same time.  Aubrey had left me alone on Tuesday and I had been able to focus on the job - it would take me well into next week before I could make my recommendation to the COO and I was sure I would be exhausted by the end of the job... but it was also likely going to be the only job I needed to do that month.  Companies with weak management hired me specifically because I was willing to pull the trigger on jobs for them, I was given the authority to fire people because they were too scared to do it.  Firing someone was hard, you had to look them in the eye and tell them that they were on their own, that they'd have to find another way to feed their families, and too often the managers got caught up in their own feelings surrounding that, how they would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

But to me, it was just another job.  I'd done it dozens of times before, I would do it countless more times.  I had fired hundreds of people.  It held no thrill for me, but I felt no guilt either.  It wasn't the fault of the people getting the axe that they were selected, not often - it was management choices, market changes, poor allocation of resources.  But that was just the way it was, I wasn't going to lose sleep over it.  It was either them or the company... and the company was paying.

I waited in my car of the parking lot of the coffee shop... until I spotted Dani exiting her Prius.  I had been twenty minutes early.

"Hey," I said as I slipped up behind her, holding the door open as she stepped inside.

"Oh, what good timing," she smiled.  She was in tight black pants today with a white blouse, more of her chunky boho jewelry - two necklaces and three bracelets - with a dark blue blazer.. and she smelled amazing.  She was a little taller today - brown suede boots lifted her another inch from last time we met.  "I was worried I got here too early."

"I just got here too," I gave her a smile that said, 'I am very happy to see you' as I followed her in.

We sat down at the table, her with a hot chai and me with another mocha - not my favorite, but the narrative was important.  She talked about her project, one of the engineers she was managing was having some personal trouble that was pushing out her timeline and she was trying her best to compensate for it and help him with his emotional troubles - a mature route, and I expected no less from her.  I offered her tidbits about my own project without mentioning the company, but I focused on the positive - how the company would be in much better shape after the inefficiencies in their system were identified and corrected... 

"I got you this," I said after a short, comfortable silence.  "I'm hoping this counts as a second date to you, I really enjoy your company."  I slid the small box over to her, waiting.  The way she lit up at the tiny present was adorable.  My timing had been good, she had forgotten that I had mentioned this, and her eyes smiled in a way that most people her age couldn't manage - especially in this town.  They were too jaded, too worn... but Littles - and I was sure she was one - held onto some of that childlike innocence.  Her lips parted in a wide grin when she opened it.

"Squirrel earrings!" she cheered, holding them up - they were cute, they were happy squirrel faces, but what made them great was the fact that the earring back was the rest of the squirrel - it would look like a squirrel was dangling from each earlobe.  "Squirrels are my favorite animal!"

"I guessed from your purse," I smiled.

"I uh," her face fell a bit - here it came.  Something had caused her to want to downgrade from a dinner date to coffee, but my hopes were still high.  "I have a bit of a confession."  She looked at me with a deep concern in her eyes, her posture shifted slightly - she was worried she was going to hurt my feelings.  I smiled softly, a 'I can take it' smile, and waited.  "I met a guy the day before our dinner date.  I know we just started seeing each other - I wasn't sure if you and I are really dating - and I don't know if you're the one-person-at-a-time kind of dater.  I usually am.  So... I just wanted to tell you."

A guy.  I was surprisingly threatened by that, I felt the fingers of my right hand twitch with a tell that I wouldn't usually provide, though I let my smile shift to a 'Everything is fine'.  All my research had indicated that she was gay, I hadn't accounted for this possibility at all.

"We never defined our relationship, Dani - we don't have to.  I don't own you," Yet. "I'm not upset that you're dating someone else at the same time.  I'm a little surprised, I'll be honest - I thought you were gay."

"Well," she blushed, "I haven't dated a guy in a long time, I kinda figured I was done with them.  Not because I'm not attracted but... ugh, there's no way to say it without sounding sexist.  Women are just easier to relate to, you know?  Anyway, his name is Julian and he's really nice and... different.  I'm glad you're not hurt, you never know how some people will take this kind of news."

"I'd like to continue seeing you - dating you - if that's okay.  I like you,"  I laid a hand gently on hers, the physical touch was important to show that I wasn't threatened.  I wasn't - I was sure I would be a better partner for her... if my feeling about her was correct.  This Julian likely had some other damage, some secret, some folly - and I would find it.  Nobody was perfect.

I was bothered by the idea of her with a man, however.  And that surprised me.

"I'd like that," she smiled... her eyes were smiling too, but there was a glint there, something hidden.  She tilted her head just so, turned her body just so... there was something she wasn't saying.  She liked him more than me.  Damn, and I thought I had been playing this so well.  No matter, I didn't mind a little competition.

I would win.

"I'm glad we met up this morning.  Seeing you makes my day brighter, it will be easier to face the challenges of work."

"Me too," she closed the box on the earrings and slipped it into her purse.  "Thank you for the thoughtful gift, it's really kind of you."

"I'm glad it brought a smile to your face."  My tongue burned, I wanted to press - to ask her what she had named her purse, but it wasn't time yet.  If she didn't embrace her Little side, if she struggled with it as I suspected, it would only embarrass her.  And given that she had friends that teased her for those tendencies, that was more likely than not.  It would only cause me to lose ground in this unexpected competition I found myself in.

"I hope you have a great day at work," she leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss, our lips barely brushing together.  It was gentle, timid.  It told me that she wasn't sure what she wanted... she knew I made her feel good, there was some attraction there, but I didn't sweep her off her feet.

Good.  I hadn't been trying to.

But I would, once I knew more about this Julian.  The moment I was back in my car, I messaged Seth - I was going to be busy today, but he was likely still taking it easy after his emergency job on Sunday.  I asked him to find out the identity of this Julian she mentioned and see what he could learn.

He knew the drill, he wouldn't let me down.  I had done the same for him with Jess.

[Guilend]

Oooh! A guy, wonder if he even exists, maybe a test, or he's her daddy online. So many possibilities to think about this early in the morning.

[bbykimmy]

3 hours ago, Aries said:

Oooh! A guy, wonder if he even exists, maybe a test, or he's her daddy online. So many possibilities to think about this early in the morning.

We'll find out...

So is Kailee everyone's favorite character yet?

[Guilend]

5 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

So is Kailee everyone's favorite character yet?

Who? Never heard of her.

[Wannatripbaby]

25 minutes ago, Aries said:

Who? Never heard of her.

Yeah, that name doesn't sound familiar.  Was Kailee the waitress at the coffee shop or something?

[treasuresman]

Are you going to post more of the diaper dimension story? 

[bbykimmy]

34 minutes ago, treasuresman said:

Are you going to post more of the diaper dimension story? 

I can't answer that question without it becoming political.  As I said in the other thread, I have moral reasons for not posting the next chapter given the current goings on in America.  It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable right now.

39 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Yeah, that name doesn't sound familiar.  Was Kailee the waitress at the coffee shop or something?

I know Kailee is your favorite character, Trip.

[RPMolly]

I liked Kailee in the sense of she made Vanessa more relatable, at first when Kailee was just mentioned as a girl who gave in to easy I wondered if it was self sabotage Vanessa never letting herself be happy. But upon that interaction damn that girl is toxic I've known some Kailee's in my time and the best thing to do is cut them out quick.

[Guilend]

Kailee just seems to clingy to me. From what i gather, she might be mentally unstable, the homicidal phyco kind.

[Wannatripbaby]

15 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I know Kailee is your favorite character, Trip

You caught me. I hope to find a Kailee of my own someday. She's my ideal Little. 

[bbykimmy]

10 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

I liked Kailee in the sense of she made Vanessa more relatable, at first when Kailee was just mentioned as a girl who gave in to easy I wondered if it was self sabotage Vanessa never letting herself be happy. But upon that interaction damn that girl is toxic I've known some Kailee's in my time and the best thing to do is cut them out quick.

That's a really interesting way to look at it!  Thank you for that perspective <3

Yeah, Kailee's not the best.

8 minutes ago, Aries said:

Kailee just seems to clingy to me. From what i gather, she might be mentally unstable, the homicidal phyco kind.

I think it's too early to decide if she's homicidal or not... we'll just have to find out :O

4 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

You caught me. I hope to find a Kailee of my own someday. She's my ideal Little. 

I actually shuddered at that.

I would love it if people told me who their favorite character is at this point in the story... but it's also really early yet

[chansu ragedashi]

I love how this story is taking your "it takes all kinds" statement and writing it out as a perfect example of how that looks. Especially with Kaylee being too mercurial for vanessa, but I sincerely hope someone in the story is her "perfect someone" even if she is one of the antagonists and not the main character.

I have faith that you'll write another "--and everyone lives happily ever after!" Ending even if the characters don't realize it on the journey.

[Guilend]

Mine would be Jess, she's my ideal little, that and i can relate to her the best, since i am kind of like her when I'm in my little side

Though i doubt I'd use the potty at all, even when my Mommy wasn't around, unless Jess has a reason for that, that hasn't been said yet.

[Wannatripbaby]

Mine is Vanessa. I know that's sort of a boring answer, but she's very similar to me. In fact, one of the things that initially made me so interested in this story was that it was told from a CG's perspective rather than a Little's.

[YourFNF]

I'm seriously  convinced Vanessa is a sociopath now.

[bbykimmy]

7 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

I'm seriously  convinced Vanessa is a sociopath now.

I get that she's probably not your favorite, but she's not all bad.

Who is your favorite so far?

[YourFNF]

10 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I get that she's probably not your favorite, but she's not all bad.

Who is your favorite so far?

Oh that's not value judgement statement or at least not intended as one merely a statement of probable fact. Although I can't deny the associated cultural baggage that is associated iwth personality disorders/internalized abalism and my already negative attitude toward her. Favorite would probably be Dani just seems the most well innocent in all this either that or Julian but I honestly don't know Dani that well. With Vanessa as much as I want to like her and it's clear she is not a mustache twirling monster.... I have to confess that inspite of my attempt to remain impartial in diagnosis and evaluation I have already formed a negative judgement on her character.

[Babyqtboy]

Good chapter, I liked it  Dani is my favorite character so far. There is more to her than meets the eye and I think Vanessa is going to finally get the challenge she wants. I almost feel like Dani is toying with Vanessa 

[RambleLamb]

This is a delight to read as always! My favorite character is Vanessa because, while I'm convinced she's a sociopath, or at the very least is on the spectrum...the other spectrum, the criminal/mastermind one, I feel like she's a "still water's run deep" kind of character and I find her very intriguing. I don't think she's as bad as we've been led to believe but I'm also very trusting and not great at judging people's nefarious motives.

Fun fact: I read Kailee's voice in the voice this girl I went to school with had and couldn't figure out why I had a headache and it turned out I was gritting my teeth REALLY hard because of the voice. She and Opal can go to the "Island of Misfit B Holes" and never come back once the story is over.

Keep up the great work!

[ELLIE52]

Okay, so much for going dark and leaving the comment life.  I'll just try to do less of it, and get back to my real life somehow.

I actually LIKE Vanessa.  I like her ways as well.  Not sure what that says for me.