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Breaking the Girl: A Novel


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Chapter One

I sat at the bar, quietly surveying the crowd.  It was a good crowd for a Saturday, I just had to find the right girl.  This was the perfect part of town to find my type.  Smart, willful, playful, with a high pressure job.  Those were the ones who needed to let go the most.  The past couple of weeks of hunting had been frustrating.  Things with Lauren hadn't gone the way I planned.  I really thought she was going to be the one, she ticked all the right boxes and she was a joy to be around.  She had balked at the last minute, though.. and she dumped me.  I don't know which was worse, that or how things had gone with Kailee.  Kailee had gone too willingly, it was too easy to move her along... there was no challenge, no thrill.  Kailee had been disappointing.  I had gotten what I thought I wanted, but I had to cut her out of my life after I had it.  It hadn't been easy to admit, but she hadn't been right for me.  I needed more from my partner.

I scanned the girls.. too loose, too messy, too cold.  I would know her when I found her, I knew my type.  She would look oh-so-serious with some very adult and mature fashion, but there would be a tell.  Lauren's had been a peek of Hello Kitty panties.  The ones under the most pressure to succeed were always the ones who wanted someone else to take over.  Life was too hard for them, they needed to be "on" all the time at work, had to do a better job than the boys, had to be perfect.  That was just part of life in Silicon Valley.  By the time I came along, they were so happy to hand over control.

Finally, she caught my eye.  A boho girl, that style was getting popular.  Multiple bracelets, dangly earrings, earth tone makeup, chunky sandals.. she had a good figure, you could tell she worked out.  She had a smile that lit up her eyes, someone had just told her a funny joke.  Ah, but the tell.  The tell was her purse.  She couldn't help it, she needed something cute.. her purse was shaped like a squirrel - she had what was essentially a stuffed animal on her at all times.  This is how I knew she wanted the loss of control I needed to give.  I had to have her.

The latest K.Flay blared overhead, conversation was impossible.. so I'd have to do this with a look.  I leaned back, my hair brushing the bartop and I watched her.  Humans could feel when someone was watching them with intent, this wouldn't take long.  Her eyes found mine, and I smiled.  I had a million smiles, every one practiced carefully.  This smile said, "I like your style, and I'm pretty sure you like mine."  She looked down into her drink and blushed.  That was all the invitation I needed.  If I had read her wrong, she would have reacted with fear or hostility, not with embarrassment.  She wanted to be noticed.  I waited for her to glance up again and I tilted my head.  This smile said, "I'm nice and I'd like to talk to you."  You could say so much with just a look if you knew how.

I turned slowly as she moved closer, drawn by my wordless communication.  I signaled the barkeep.  I order a Guinness for myself and an Apple Bomb for her.  We'd see if my read was spot on or not.  When she slides up next to me, I don't make eye contact.  I just turn slightly so she can see the smile on the corner of my mouth.

"You looked thirsty," I measured my voice.. it was hard to do under the dirty bass of K.Flay, but I was practiced.  My voice was low, resonant, but playful.  I turned slowly to face her as the barkeep set down our drinks.  With a fluid motion, I picked up the Guinness and took a draw, but didn't touch hers.  "Ever tried an Apple Bomb?"  My guess was that she hadn't, it wasn't a very popular drink even though it was from this area.  But big girls who were hiding little girls inside... they liked it.

"No, I haven't... thanks.  I'm Dani," she slid up next to me and took the untouched drink and sipped it.  "Wow, this is really good.  Thanks again."

"Vanessa," I smiled, turning toward her fully and sweeping a strand of hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear.  I tapped my own dangling earring on the way down, causing it to glint at Dani.  "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dani."  I had to play this part carefully.  Too strong and she'd bolt, too weak and she'd ignore the hook.  "It's so good to just relax with some music, away from the pressures of the office."  Nailed it.  Her right hand tensed as I said it, she had some stress getting to her.

"Ugh, it really is," she said, letting her weight rest more fully on the barstool.  "What do you do?"

"I'm a consultant.  Systems analysis," I smiled warmly - this smile said, 'I have a tough job, too'.  My job was to find the weak points in an organization, and destroy them.  And I was very good at what I did, reading people is what made me so good.  "What about you?"

"Herding cats," Dani grimaced.

"Project management then," my smile projecting 'I feel your pain', "I've been there."

"How did you know?" she laughed lightly, musically, the blue light of the bar dancing across her green eyes.  Oh, how I wanted her.

"Lucky guess," I finished the Guinness and paid the tab.  The hook was set, I couldn't linger.  "I've got to go, it was really nice meeting you, Dani.  I thought I was up to this, but I'm still busted up about my girlfriend dumping me.  Maybe I'll see you around?"

Her eyes flashed a twinge of disappointment.  Perfect.

"Yeah.. it was nice to meet you, Vanessa.  Thanks for introducing me to this drink, I like it."

"I'm glad - have a great night."

I stepped through the front door of the bar, pausing to look back at her.  She was watching me go.  I gave her a smile that said, "I really wish I didn't have to go now."  She gave the smallest wave in return.

I exited into the crowd of Castro Street, the heart of downtown Mountain View.. but I didn't go far.  No, I had just ruined Dani's night.  She wouldn't be staying much longer.  She would suddenly want to go home... if I was right.

It took her about ninety seconds longer than I expected.  She slipped out the front door alone and started walking north.  I flowed through the crowd, following her.  It was a warm night, but not too hot.  The bars were full and the people were happy, it was a good night.  Dani went straight for her car.  Silver Prius, so typical.  I leaned on the corner, obscured by a tree.

"Naughty girl," I said quietly to no one, "You shouldn't drive after having that drink.  I'll punish you for that later."  I committed her license plate to memory and watched as she drove off.  North, then west.  I adjusted my purse on my shoulder and started walking home myself.  I had some research to do.


*   *   *


I spent two days studying Danielle Peters, learning her habits, her path, her preferences.  Every tidbit I learned only solidified the feeling that I had to have her.  Her credit card statements laid everything bare to me.  Dani was a reader, a painter, a jogger.  She went to the same coffee shop in Sunnyvale every day and ordered the same thing - iced chai, the only thing on the menu at her coffee shop that came to the amount that went on her card daily.  She had no pets, and according to her social media profile, her last relationship ended roughly.  Her name was Elaine, another high-powered type.. they probably drove each other crazy.  Too similar.  I knew where Dani worked, what gym she went to, what gas station she filled her car at, what grocery store she frequented.. credit cards were beautiful things for an interested party like me.

I just happened to be at her favorite coffee shop at exactly the same time she visited normally the next day, laying in wait.. sipping a mocha.  Dani didn't want someone too similar.  Normally on a bright day like this, I'd wear a wide-brimmed hat and a pair of sunglasses.. but I needed Dani to notice me and recognize me, so I suffered through.  I thumbed through a magazine, Us Weekly, something Dani wouldn't be interested in.  She had no time for gossip.  I had positioned myself so she'd see me just as she came out with her chai.

"Vanessa?" her voice was light, unsure.  I looked up and smiled at her 'Oh, I'm so surprised but so very happy to see you here!'

"Dani!  Wow, um hey - I'm sorry I disappeared on you the other night.  You seemed really nice... I just... " I trailed off, an invitation for her to step in.

"It's okay," she said as she stepped closer.  I gestured to the chair across from me, inviting her to join me.  "I'm really glad I ran into you... that drink was amazing."  She covered.  She was interested, she took the bait.  Now I just needed to coax her in.

"I had a feeling you'd like it, you just seemed like an apple sort of girl.. sweet," she blushed.. I was coming on a little too strong, I had to play it just a bit shier.  "I.. I was kicking myself all night that I didn't ask for your number.  You seemed so nice.. just this energy about you.. " I looked down, feigning embarrassment, "It's stupid."  I pushed my chair back and started to stand.  She reached across the table and placed her hand on mine.  She was trembling ever so slightly.. the hair on her arm was raised.

"No, Vanessa.. I was wishing the same thing," the last word rang flat.  A lie.  She hadn't been thinking the same thing, but she wanted me to think she had been that interested.. she was ready to take a risk.  Blushing on command wasn't easy, but I did it nonetheless.

"I uh, here.. " I fished a business card out of my purse and scribbled one of my cell numbers on it.  I slid it across the table to her, I had to appear reluctant to touch her back.  The weakness would draw her in.  "Would you.. like to get dinner sometime?  I know this Chinese dumpling place that I haven't been to in a while.. "  I knew she liked the place, she'd left a positive Yelp review for it, she hadn't been there in eight months.

"That sounds really nice.. how about Friday?"

"I.. that sounds great," I looked her in the eyes now and my smile read 'I really, really like you but I'm afraid you don't like me the same way'.  "I'll text you the place and we can meet there?"

"How about I pick you up?"  Shit.  I misread that one, I couldn't be the passenger in her car, it would tip the power dynamic too far in her favor.  I was playing too timid.  My mind spun for a moment on how to salvage this.

"Actually, I get carsick if I'm not driving.  How about I pick you up instead?"

"I would like that a lot," her smile read 'I think I'm falling for you already, I need to know more about you'.  I needed to feed her a tidbit.

"I'm really glad you didn't think I was coming on too strong at the club.  I really like that song and you looked so beautiful under the lights.  Your eyes light up when you laugh.. I knew I had to learn more about you."

"I'm an open book," she was actually completely open.  She was making herself vulnerable, faster than I expected.  I hoped this wouldn't turn out to be another Kailee.  "What would you like to know?"

"What's your favorite movie?" I asked - it was a test.  If she was a Kailee, she'd tell me something cutesy.  I'd break it off right there and resume the hunt anew this weekend, I'd done it often enough.  No amount of wanting her was worth making the wrong pick again.  If she had a shell for me to crack through... she'd say something serious.

"It's stupid because nobody likes it, but Stranger Than Fiction - you know, that Will Ferrel movie that wasn't really a comedy?"  A drama about a writer.  Funny, but not silly.  A good answer.

"Oh, I like that one.  His antics usually bother me, but he was really good in that one."

"Exactly!  What about you?"  I went similar to her with the last response, I had to give her something mysterious, something to draw her in here.

"You'll laugh," I said sourly.

"I won't laugh, I promise."

"Amadeus."

"The one about Mozart?  Okay, I didn't expect that one.  Why?"

"Tortured artists," I smiled.  Just then my phone alarm went off.  Two minutes earlier in the conversation than I planned.  I had set it up to use a ringtone as the alarm, so it would look like I was getting a call.  I slipped my phone out of my purse and held it under the table.  "I'm sorry, Dani.. I've got to go.  It's work, you know how it is.  Text me your number and address.. I'll pick you up on Friday."

"Sounds great.  I'm glad I ran into you, Vanessa."

"I'm glad you did too," I agreed, "Hello?"  I greeted my telephone alarm, silencing it, grabbed my mocha with a little wave to Dani, and walked off.

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Yay!!!  It's finally here.

This should be an interesting story.  I'm really looking forward to reading this.  Thanks so much, Kimmy!

In the first chapter, Vanessa is playing what I call an intense nonchalant.

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I am thinking perhaps another tag may be needed.  Something like FtF or lesbian ......  Just so those that are offended by such don't get in an uproar.  Or am I overthinking?

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7 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

I am thinking perhaps another tag may be needed.  Something like FtF or lesbian ......  Just so those that are offended by such don't get in an uproar.  Or am I overthinking?

Those tags would just make me want to read it :D

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19 hours ago, ELLIE52 said:

Yay!!!  It's finally here.

This should be an interesting story.  I'm really looking forward to reading this.  Thanks so much, Kimmy!

In the first chapter, Vanessa is playing what I call an intense nonchalant.

Yay!  Thank you for requesting it!  You are definitely one of the people who convinced me to bring it back.

Vanessa is a really interesting character - I'm intensely curious how people react to her and think of her as the story progresses.

14 hours ago, Cya said:

I remember this one. It's good to see patience is rewarded. Thanks for taking this up again. You're a talented writer! 

Absolutely!  It was honestly by popular demand.  I don't think I would have gone back to it if people hadn't been requesting it in the comments for "The Biggest of Desires".  It got my brain turning again, I had half of chapter 3 written but I just never went back to it.  I'm glad I am now :)

12 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Here it is, Bay-Beeeeeeeeeeee! :D

buckle up, 'cuz y'all are in for a helluva ride!

Shhhhhh ;)

11 hours ago, Aries said:

I am starting to remember this one, i do like the first chapter.

It's okay if you don't remember it - I only posted 2 chapters... but I have a lot more now :D

11 hours ago, ELLIE52 said:

I am thinking perhaps another tag may be needed.  Something like FtF or lesbian ......  Just so those that are offended by such don't get in an uproar.  Or am I overthinking?

You're absolutely right, I'm fixing this

11 hours ago, Aries said:

Those tags would just make me want to read it :D

You wanted to read it anyway :P

8 hours ago, thedman said:

OMG it is back! Yay!

Yay!  \o/  And as of this moment, I have 15 chapters to share.

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Two things:

1) Tag addition needed  2) Signature update   shows you're committed

49 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Vanessa is a really interesting character - I'm intensely curious how people react to her and think of her as the story progresses.

Yes!

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Chapter Two

My scrambled eggs were almost finished when I heard my phone chirp.  A text.. from Seth by the tone.  He could wait.  To get perfect scrambled eggs, you couldn't stop folding them at this point.  After only a minute or two more I slid the eggs from the pan to a plate and dropped the pan in the sink.  I picked up my phone as I headed to the living room of my apartment, fork and plate in hand.

SETH (15 minutes ago): I haven't heard from you in a while, I'm assuming you have Lauren in diapers by now.  Jess is driving me crazy tonight, call me.  She needs a playdate.  BADLY.

SETH (10 minutes ago): Vanessa, you always have your phone glued to your hand, what's the deal?

SETH (2 minutes ago): I'm going to video call you in a few.  If you don't want me to, say so now.

Dammit.  I started tapping one-handed at the screen.  I had been distracted on my walk home, I hadn't even heard the previous messages.

No.  I'm not in the mood for _

Then my TV lit up, with Seth on his couch staring at me from the screen, I had forgotten it was still set to auto answer his calls.  He was in his work clothes, a black button-up shirt with a mandarin collar and black slacks.  Even his socks were black, at least he had ditched his shoes or I would have thought this was a business meeting.  I rolled my eyes a bit.  He was the consummate professional with his gelled brown hair, the one curl hanging down over his forehead just above his cold blue eyes, his goatee trimmed just so, sitting straight with an ankle crossed over his knee.

"Vanessa," he smiled an irritated smile at my empty couch, I hadn't stepped into view of the camera yet, "Where in the world are you?"

"I'm here," I said as I took a bite of my eggs, tossing my phone onto an empty cushion.  I sat down, crossing my legs and resting my heels on the glass coffee table. I had planned on savoring my interactions with Dani as I ate, not talking to Seth.  He was right though, I had been neglecting him and he was my best friend.  "Sorry I haven't been around, things ended up not working out with Lauren.  I moved too fast, she bolted."

"What?" came a shrill cry from somewhere behind Seth and Jess ran into view.  Her blonde curls bounced, her face was scrunched up, upset.  She flopped down on the couch, her legs spread wide, her obviously wet pink diaper on full display, completely unhidden by the white and pink-ruffled t-shirt that declared her Daddy's Princess.  "No no no!  You promised me a playdate, Nessa!  You promised!"

"Seth," I said simply with a frown, I wasn't in the mood to have my failure rubbed in my face by his Little.  I was not pleased that Lauren was gone, I really thought she was the keeper.  We... meshed.  It was nice.  I had been just starting to feel like I could really be myself with her, but I scared her away.  It was still more satisfying than Kailee had been.

Seth was almost as good at reading people as I was, he grabbed hold of the ring on Jess' pink leather collar and she was over his lap in a flash.  She cried out and kicked her legs as he slapped her on the backs of her thighs, she wouldn't be able to feel a thing through the thick padding he kept her in if he swatted her bottom.  Knowing Seth, she had at least one booster in that thick disposable, maybe two.  She was sobbing after four smacks, and he laid her down on the couch, her face in his lap.  He stroked her hair gently, the punishment over.

"Shhh, cupcake.  The adults are talking, Littles will be silent.  What you did was very rude to Vanessa.  When I allow you to speak again, I expect you to apologize to her."  Her sobs were short lived, her diapered bottom poking up in the air.  She knew how to play him just as well as he played her, she knew if she started crying too quickly he'd spank her more.. but crying was the fastest way to get the spanking to end, too.  "I'm very sorry to hear about Lauren, you really liked her."

"I really did," I sighed, Seth was one of the few people I knew I could be completely honest with, "I really, really did, Seth.  She was something special."

"What are the odds of her coming back to you?"  Seth continued to stroke his Little's hair, her sobs had stopped but she stayed face down in his lap, she wasn't taking any chances.  His handprint was still visible on her exposed thigh.  An ember of jealousy burned in my heart.  Lauren should have been in my lap just like that, my fingers in her hair... I wanted it so badly.

"Nil," I frowned, finishing the last bite of my dinner, "She bolted.  She's not coming back.  We're not all as lucky as you."  Jess peeked an eye out at that, she loved hearing things like that... honestly, I said it for her.  She was too bratty for my tastes, but that's how they liked it.  I had no interest in constantly punishing someone.  Seth, on the other hand...

"I'm sorry, Vanessa.  If I had known, I wouldn't have bothered you tonight.  You know you can talk to me any time, right?  We've been friends for a long time."

"I know, Seth," I sighed, "I know.  I will say this: my hopes are up."

"Really," Seth intoned as he leaned forward.  Jess slipped to the floor at his feet to avoid getting squished.  I couldn't see her under their coffee table now, but I knew she'd have her forehead pressed to his toes, just as he taught her.  "Tell me about her."

"Middle management, stressed out... "

"No no," he interrupted, "Tell me about her."

"Fit.  A hair shorter than me," I started again.

"Vanessa," he said my name with a touch of venom, his irritation.

"Sweet," I smiled, he wasn't going to stop until he dragged it out of me, "Hair the color of a moonless night, begging to be up in pigtails.  Full, pink lips, a narrow nose.  Upturned, cute.  Bold but hiding the little girl underneath.  A round-shaped face... big, beautiful green eyes.  I don't know if she's the one, but I'm certainly drawn to her."

"How many dates?"

"First is Friday, I expect it'll take three before she's comfortable."

"Happy hunting, Vanessa.  Dream of your Little-to-be tonight," Seth's smile and his well-wishes were sincere.  He was a good friend.  "Wish Vanessa luck, cupcake," he purred as he pulled Jess up by her collar.  Her already dry face peeked over the edge of the table.

"I'm sorry I was rude, Nessa.  I hope you get the most perfectest babygirl ever," she grinned widely at me, and then whispered, "Because I want a friend."

The screen went black and I laid back on the couch, my feelings in a bit of a whirl between thoughts of Lauren and daydreams of Dani.


*   *   *


The time until Friday night was painful.  I was distracted, I had found a shot of Dani running laps at her gym and I could not stop imagining having her in my lap the way Jess had been sprawled across Seth's.  Was my read of her correct?  She was a woman-in-charge.. did she have the soft center that I wanted?  The need to be cared for, guided, controlled... but the will to resist just a bit?  I didn't want a brat like Jess who craved punishment, but I didn't want a sycophant like Kailee who had no opinions of her own.  I was in love with an idea, and that made finding real love quite difficult.

The date was nice.  I had to rein in my dominant desires when I picked her up.  I wanted so badly to buckle her in myself, to give her a stuffed animal to hold and pop a pacifier in her mouth... but she certainly wasn't ready for that.  Dani had decided that a floral dress was the way to go for the date.  It was white and faded to a dark blue, covered in dancing petals as it drew closer to the hem that fell below her knees.  I couldn't help but wonder what sort of panties she had on under there.. would it be another tell?  She clutched her stuffed squirrel-purse to her.

"I really like that purse," I said, feeling confident in my own port-colored blouse and ankle-length black skirt.  I had 4" heels tonight, nothing too extreme but enough to give me a distinct height advantage.  I had to be subtle, but I wanted to set the tone right from the start.  I was the dominant in this relationship, it was not going to be egalitarian.  "It's very cute, it suits you."

"Really?" she blushed, "My best friend Jenni teases me about.. " she hesitated a split second, a word on the tip of her tongue.  Most people wouldn't have picked up on it, "my purse."  I couldn't help but smirk.  She had named her purse but was afraid to tell me.

"Something tells me that you like cute things, what's wrong with that?"  We cruised along, the local top forty station on the radio.  The impulsive part of me said to tune to "Radio Disney" to see how she'd react, but I didn't think we were there yet.  "I like it."

"I can't normally afford to be cute.. thanks," she looked away to hide her blush, staring out the window of the car as we cruised down Central Expressway.

"Well I want to get to know you, the real you, Dani.  Please don't feel like you need to hide anything from me," the irony of the words burned as I said them.  It was completely true, but at the same time I was hiding my true desires from her the same way she was used to hiding hers from everyone.  It was a cruel world we lived in where no one could afford to truly be themselves.


*   *   *


Dinner was nice and relaxed.  It held no surprises for me cuisine-wise, I had done my research.  I did get to learn some details that raw data didn't hold.  Dani liked sweet things and steered away from the bitter.  My green tea order elicited a shudder from her and she got a chai... to which she added an absurd amount of sugar.  We spent the meal talking about the stresses of work and our hobbies.  I could sense she was holding something back.  She told me her favorite fitness routines and I talked about my love of puzzles.  Our common interest turned out to be in video games, despite Dani's love of the cute, she still enjoyed a mental challenge and played games when she could.

She was generally happy with her job and happy in her adulthood, but there was definitely a longing for the cute and carefree buried underneath.  After dinner I took her to an ice cream parlor nearby and we each got a bowl - mint chocolate chip for me and cookie dough for her.  I made sure she didn't have a chance to pay for anything, not dinner and certainly not the ice cream.  I couldn't resist wiping a dab of ice cream from her chin during the dessert, which earned me an intense blush, accompanied with an adorable smile.

As far as first dates went, I had rarely had one that went better.  I was a little sad when I had to drop her off at her place, though I did walk her to her front door.

"Thanks for everything, Vanessa.  I had a really good time," she smiled shyly, glancing down as we stood at the entrance to her apartment.  "It's my treat next time."  She was already thinking about a second date, perfect.

"We'll see," I smiled a wry smile, a smile that said 'Not a chance in hell' in the friendliest way possible, "I like treating you.  And you like treats.  It's win-win."  She started to object and I slipped in for a kiss.  My heels gave me the extra few inches I needed to get her chin to really tilt up to meet my lips.  She was surprised by it, but didn't pull away.  This was a risky move, but there was rarely reward without risk.  She didn't give herself fully to the kiss, but she didn't withdraw.  I kept it short, sweet.. welcoming.  When we broke, I took a small step back. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, Dani."

"You're.. welcome.. " she was a little stunned.  I took her hand gently and smiled.

"I hope to see you again soon.  This was very nice."  And with that, I excused myself and headed for the car, hoping I hadn't overplayed my hand.  I was missing a piece of this puzzle, her reaction didn't fit entirely with my read.  I cursed myself for a fool momentarily before driving off into the darkness.  Dani had potential.. we could have something real, as long as I didn't drive her away.

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Should have just dragged her into the house, stripped her naked then get her all diapered up. Sure, she'd be shocked, maybe scared, but she'd learn to love it :D

24 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

.  I was missing a piece of this puzzle, her reaction didn't fit entirely with my read

Ok, that is puzzling. 

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4 minutes ago, Aries said:

Should have just dragged her into the house, stripped her naked then get her all diapered up. Sure, she'd be shocked, maybe scared, but she'd learn to love it :D

This one is NOT set in the diaper dimension, Aries.  The morality of our own dimension is a lot clearer than the DD - it's wrong to force another to do what you want.  I would hope that people would follow that because it's the morally correct choice, not because it'll get you thrown in prison for assault :P

Vanessa wants love, not just forcing someone in diapers.

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I remember this chapter now, the last that was posted which of course made us want more.  It's currently hard to get a read on Dani as we aren't getting her perspective.  Vanessa is being only a tad bold, not much,

25 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

It was a cruel world we lived in where no one could afford to truly be themselves.

playing it mostly safe, but picking up subtle hints about Dani such as she has named her squirrel purse even if she doesn't say the name.  I can't pick up on the missing piece of the puzzle though unless Dani wants to be in charge.....

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2 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

Okay, interest piqued. Is it just coincidence that the title is a Red Hot Chili Peppers song title and one of the main characters is too?

Hi, I don't think I've ever seen you comment on one of my stories, welcome!  <3

Let's see... Breaking the Girl, the love interest is Dani and it's set in California...

Think you're so clever
But now you must sever
You're breaking the girl

Hmm... that doesn't sound like Vanessa though, right?  ;)

She was a girl
Soft but estranged
We were the two
Our lives rearranged

Nah, pure coincidence.  :O

In all seriousness, I used that as the title not because of the song per se, but because the phrase is in the collective unconscious because of the song.  Also, I play bass guitar and am in constant awe of Flea's abilities.  I'm not an RHCP fanatic, but I do enjoy their music and Flea's slapping on Rollercoaster of Love is life goals.

There's another reason I used the name Dani and the setting, but I won't reveal that until we're done.

1 hour ago, ELLIE52 said:

I remember this chapter now, the last that was posted which of course made us want more.  It's currently hard to get a read on Dani as we aren't getting her perspective.  Vanessa is being only a tad bold, not much,

playing it mostly safe, but picking up subtle hints about Dani such as she has named her squirrel purse even if she doesn't say the name.  I can't pick up on the missing piece of the puzzle though unless Dani wants to be in charge.....

Yep, this was the last chapter I had until a few weeks ago.  I've written through Chapter 15 now, so we have 3 weeks' worth of story to share.  It was actually this story fizzling that made me rethink my policy on not posting until I had a bunch... although the flipside is, if I hadn't shared it then, I wouldn't be finishing it now... jeez, that's a catch-22.  I don't want a reputation as a writer who never finishes stories, it honestly hurt my feelings when thedman was joking about that.

Maybe I should share "Two Coins in a Fountain" at some point.  I only have 1 chapter written, but it has the potential to get very, very deeply emotional.

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Me and Vanessa have the same favorite ice cream! :)

Mint Chocolate Chip for the win!

Mint Chocolate Chip is my 3rd favorite, behind Strawberry Cheesecake (has to have chunks of real cheesecake) and Cookie Dough.

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11 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

This one is NOT set in the diaper dimension, Aries.  The morality of our own dimension is a lot clearer than the DD - it's wrong to force another to do what you want.  I would hope that people would follow that because it's the morally correct choice, not because it'll get you thrown in prison for assault :P

I know, but i had to say something to get reactions from people. I am good at reading people in person, and sometimes online, i like to make statements that would force others to react, most react the way everyone does, or how they do and yet every now and again someone reacts in a completely different way. Those are what i like, the odd ones out, those that are not in the "norm".

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27 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Yep, this was the last chapter I had until a few weeks ago.  I've written through Chapter 15 now, so we have 3 weeks' worth of story to share.  It was actually this story fizzling that made me rethink my policy on not posting until I had a bunch... although the flipside is, if I hadn't shared it then, I wouldn't be finishing it now... jeez, that's a catch-22.  I don't want a reputation as a writer who never finishes stories, it honestly hurt my feelings when thedman was joking about that.

Maybe I should share "Two Coins in a Fountain" at some point.  I only have 1 chapter written, but it has the potential to get very, very deeply emotional.

I recall you mentioning Two Coins in a Fountain in one of your recent stories.

What worries me is if you start spreading yourself too thin.

Thedman is Thedman.*  Pay no attention to what sounds mean.  You are well-respected for your stories, beginnings, middles, and endings.

I'm liking the serious vein to the story.  Vanessa is in desperate need.

 

*he really is one of your constant fans

 

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3 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

I recall you mentioning Two Coins in a Fountain in one of your recent stories.

What worries me is if you start spreading yourself too thin.

Thedman is Thedman.  Pay no attention to what sounds mean.  You are well-respected for your stories, beginnings, middles, and endings.

No worries there - I can really only work on one story at a time.  "Two Coins" is on hold at the moment, I started it before I started "Vacation".  "Desires" is all Maya at the moment, she wants to write Rachel so I'm only functioning in an editing capacity there right now.  "Vacation" is on hold probably until "Breaking the Girl" is done.  But I could share chapter 1 of "Two Coins" just to let people see it... maybe after this story is done.  I do want to finish "Vacation", I know where the plot is going, and maybe even go back and finish "Save Yourself" because I remember where that was going too. 

It was kind of neat to pick this one back up after a year... I had half of chapter 3 written and I just sat down and continued it like I had never stopped, the story, the characters, the plot were all still in my head.

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14 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

But I could share chapter 1 of "Two Coins" just to let people see it... maybe after this story is done.  

It's okay with me, of course.  But I would put in a disclaimer at the top saying Preview Only, something like that.

I'm beginning to wonder if I needed external validation would I actually produce something.  LOL, nah

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6 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

Hi, I don't think I've ever seen you comment on one of my stories, welcome!  <3

Let's see... Breaking the Girl, the love interest is Dani and it's set in California...

Think you're so clever
But now you must sever
You're breaking the girl

Hmm... that doesn't sound like Vanessa though, right?  ;)

She was a girl
Soft but estranged
We were the two
Our lives rearranged

Nah, pure coincidence.  :O

In all seriousness, I used that as the title not because of the song per se, but because the phrase is in the collective unconscious because of the song.  Also, I play bass guitar and am in constant awe of Flea's abilities.  I'm not an RHCP fanatic, but I do enjoy their music and Flea's slapping on Rollercoaster of Love is life goals.

There's another reason I used the name Dani and the setting, but I won't reveal that until we're done.

 

Thank you, I don’t usually comment on stories because by the time I get around to reading them, someone has already said what I was thinking, And I hate to be cliche or redundant. It was the title that actually made me read this because I have had “Breaking the Girl” stuck in my head for 2 days now so I thought the story might be serendipitous :) 

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5 minutes ago, Babyqtboy said:

Thank you, I don’t usually comment on stories because by the time I get around to reading them, someone has already said what I was thinking, And I hate to be cliche or redundant. It was the title that actually made me read this because I have had “Breaking the Girl” stuck in my head for 2 days now so I thought the story might be serendipitous :) 

Well welcome to the party :) 

If this is the first story of mine you've gotten to catch in progress, I do things a little differently than most.  I like to write a BUNCH of chapters and then release them 1 at a time, so you have a consistent schedule and something to look forward to.  I'll be posting a new chapter of this story every weekday as long as I have them (I have 15 chapters right now).

And it's always okay to repeat a thought - it's valuable to me to know how many people are thinking the same thing :D

Especially if it's saying nice things ;)  Feedback really does mean a lot to me, so do those silly little "Likes" on posts, they make me feel good.

So tomorrow morning I'll be posting Chapter 3!  I hope you come back and comment again <3

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5 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

So tomorrow morning I'll be posting Chapter 3! 

Can't wait, going to hed now so it can be tomorrow already haha

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