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The do over program


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It's really strange how this story is so hard to find. ABDLforum, Geolinks and numerous other sites hosted this story by Ron, but now it's only on Wattpad and only because some random guy reposted it like a month ago. 

 

https://www.wattpad.com/567360605-cody-and-the-baby-start-over-program-part-one

 

For some reason, there's 23 parts....yeah....

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I have the whole story , if the moderators doesn’t mind I gonna post below ok 

 

 

 

“Cody and the Baby Start Over Program”

 

By: Ron564339

 

E-mail: wbigner@hotmail.com

 

 

Summary: Luke Cody Stephens is a rebellious, violent 14 year old who has already committed many crimes. His parents don't know what to do with him, so they enroll him in a new program. Luke soon finds out that this program aims to revert troubled youths back to their state of baby-hood and re-train them correctly. As "Cody" suffers through his baby treatment, he experiences more humiliation than he ever has before, but he manages to find an unlikely friend through all of his trials. Will Cody's rebellious nature lead him to fight the system, or will he give in and become a helpless baby again?

 

Warning: This story contains profanity.

 

            So there I was, lying down in a giant crib with its bars looking so confining to me. I couldn’t really move because my wrists and ankles were tied down to the crib. And even if I wanted to talk, the damn pacifier that was strapped around my head and stuck in my mouth kept me from doing it.

 

            I looked around the room through the bars of my crib, but there wasn’t much to see; except for the moonlight coming in from the window, the room was completely dark. I could only make out the shapes of all of the other cribs in the room just like mine. Not like it mattered that I couldn’t see them; I knew that just like mine, each one of them contained a pre-teen or teenage boy who like me, were wearing thick diapers, some cloth, some disposable, in addition to some other type of baby clothing.

 

            Unlike me, those poor bastards weren’t tied down. There was no need; they were perfectly happy in their baby-like state, and most were sucking pacifiers because they wanted to, not because they were strapped to their heads.

 

            I was too uncomfortable to sleep. It was this damn cloth diaper; as much as I hated the feel of the disposables, the cloth ones were much thicker, and I hadn’t gotten used to that. When I thought about it, though, I didn’t see how I had gotten even a wink of sleep considering all the crap I had been through.

 

            I tried to spot Johnny, knowing that he was the only one with any sense in this entire hell-hole. But from what I could see, he was happily dozing away just like the rest of those idiots. I guess I really can’t call them idiots, though; they were once just like me, and it’s not really their fault that they loved those stupid diapers and would rather have a teddy bear to help them to sleep than a good shot of NyQuil…

 

            But I guess I’m not making much sense, am I? I should probably back up a bit and explain how I ended up in this horrible situation. Let me see, where should I begin…

 

            I suppose it’s best to start with an introduction. The name’s Luke Cody Stephens. All of my bros called me Luke, but my wussy middle name would be my new label once I entered that hellish place. But that’s jumping ahead a bit.

 

            I wasn’t what you would call your typical kid growing up, unless by typical you mean wretched. What could I say, I was an inner city kid exposed to a lot of rough individuals, and considering how much I hated school, I found joy in the various illegal and immoral activities we did…I even thrived on them.

 

            By age eight I was shoplifting regularly. I picked up smoking at age nine. Ten…vandalism. You know, graffiti, throwing rocks through people’s windows for fun, defacing public property, the usual. By eleven fist fights were the norm for me, and I would get a black eye or bloody nose every week (although I dished out a lot more than I took…I’ve still got scars on my knuckles). I was getting drunk every weekend by the time I was twelve, and getting high was a preferred hobby. I lost my virginity by banging this gorgeous broad when I turned thirteen…I think she was around 20.

 

            School sucked and I only used it as an opportunity to get more acquainted with my fellow thugs. I constantly insulted teachers and even took a swing at an assistant principal…I never did like that stupid chump. Eventually I ended up going to many different schools, and not only did I get kicked outta all of them, I did it with style. I think my favorite was the military school…they don’t seem to like their property being set on fire.

 

            Now, at age fourteen, my parents had damn near given up on me. I had become a typical delinquent that no parent would be proud of. Even though my boyishly pale face and straight black hair might make some think I was a goody two-shoes, the scars on my face, untidy street clothes and decently sized muscles gave another impression.

 

            I suppose part of the problem was their lack of discipline for me, but I don’t know if all the whuppin’s in the world woulda changed the way I was. Anyway, they didn’t know what to do; they didn’t want to see me go to juvi hall, and their lawyers had always made sure I got off…money does strange things to people, even juries and judges.

 

            But my folks were at their wits’ end; they had tried everything else to straighten me out. If they yelled at me, I yelled back and just went back to the streets. If they cried, I didn’t give a fuck, claiming I was just having fun and they should calm down. One time they asked me what happened to the cute little Cody that I had once been. This pissed me off so badly that I yelled, “I hate that fucking name! And don’t ever call me ‘cute’. Damn I hate you sometimes!”

 

            No matter how you look at it, I could tell they had gotten desperate. So when they told me they had enrolled me in a new “school”, I just smiled and said, “Bring it on!” After all, nothing could be as rough as military school had been. Or so I thought…

 

            My adventure basically started with a bus ride. It was weird as hell; there were no other kids on the bus, and all the stuff I was taking with me was taken and I didn’t see where it had been stored. I didn’t really care; these private schools always had weird-ass ways of doing things.

 

            As I got off of the bus, I had to admit I was impressed with the school building; it was fucking enormous. I didn’t think I had ever seen a structure that had covered so much ground space, even though the roof wasn’t all that high.

 

            My welcome wasn’t exactly heart-warming; the rainy weather combined with the dark uniforms that my two escorts were wearing made me feel like I was going off to the hot seat or something. These two guys each grabbed one of my arms tightly and began to lead me off to the entrance, all without saying a word.

 

            Normally I would have raised my fists and given each of them a swift jab to the face, but I stopped myself; I was curious about this strange building, and decided that I’d bide my time and strike at a more appropriate time.

 

            After we went through the door, they led me through this gigantic hall. The lights were bright and the floor was covered with these pale blue tiles. The walls were the same color. Despite the bright lights, the place had an eerie feel to it; I still felt like I was being led to my doom. However, we soon ran up to another person, a man in this tight leather outfit. He was skinny and had this thin black mustache and sleek black hair. As we approached, he gave me this sly grin and said in a shrill voice,

 

            “Ah, Mr. Stephens. I’ve taken a look at your past record, and I must say that it is quite extensive.”

 

            “Impressive, eh?” I asked with a sarcastic smile.

 

            “Quite,” he replied. “And because of this, I do think you’ll find your time in our little program to be quite helpful.

 

            “But first things first. We must get you properly situated.”

 

            As he said this, he pulled out this metal collar thingy from one of his pockets. It was just big enough to fit around my neck, and it had a shiny glare to it.

 

            He moved forward and began to attempt to put it around my neck. I say attempt because I used my feet to kick it out of his hand. That collar looked pretty fucked up to me, and there was no way this prick would put it on me. I would have used my arms, but those two stupid fucks were still holding on to me tightly, not moving. But they were hella strong and I couldn’t move my arms at all.

 

            “I’m not wearing that fucking thing, so you had better give up right now!” I said angrily.

 

            The skinny guy bent over to pick up the collar, although he still has a smile on his face. “Ah, a feisty one, aren’t you Mr. Stephens? No matter; gentlemen, please suppress Mr. Stephens here.”

 

            Before I knew it, the two guards had pinned me to the floor, and no matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t move.

 

            I felt a metal object click into place around my neck. It wasn’t tight enough to choke me; in fact, I couldn’t feel it at all, really. There was definitely something pretty weird about it.

 

            As soon as it was clicked on, the skinny guy said, “All right, men, you can let go of him now.” As they did so, I quickly got to my feet and felt the collar. It was definitely there, even though I couldn’t feel it on my neck.

 

            “And considering how much of a fight you’ve already put up, I will now show you why these little devices are so useful in keeping loathsome boys like yourself in line.”

 

            Not knowing what else to do, I tried to yank off the collar, but it wouldn’t budge. I then decided to try and make a break for the doors. As I turned, however, I felt a surge of pain shoot through my entire body.

 

            I collapsed to the floor, screaming in pain. It was worse than anything I had ever felt before, and I had been sliced with knives and had teeth punched out. I felt like my whole body was on fire, and every single inch of my body was in agony. The immense pain continued for about one full minute, and when it finally stopped, my body was too weak from the pain to move.

 

            “Don’t worry, Mr. Stephens, or should I say, Luke,” I heard the skinny guy say. “You’ll be fine in a few more minutes. But let this remind you of what happens when you don’t cooperate…any one of our trained officials can make you experience it again at any time.”

 

            I listened to these words as I felt myself being dragged across the floor. I guess the two guards were doing it, but I still didn’t really feel like moving; I didn’t really care where they were dragging me, I was just glad the pain was over.

 

            As the skinny guy faded from view, I noticed that I was taken into a small room with white lights, white walls and white floor tile. They hoisted me up onto this soft table. From there, they stripped me naked. This was completely embarrassing and degrading, and I tried my damnedest to resist, but my body was still too weak. After I was naked, I felt them take my arms and strap them down to the table. With that, the two guys left.

 

            Nothing happened for the next few minutes. I did regain my strength, but my arms were so securely pinned to the table that all I was able to do was move my head and my legs around a little. This really sucked, and I let out a yell to express my rage as I violently tried to struggle out of my bonds.

 

            For the first time in many years, I began to feel actually scared; I couldn’t do anything, and I had no idea what these freaks were going to do to me. I knew it had to be illegal, and I swore that I would make my parents sue this place and have all of these creepy fuckers arrested once I got out.

 

            Before I could think about much else, a new person entered the room. I looked up and saw that it was this extremely hot woman in a nurse’s outfit (which I found very sexy). She had a beautiful face, a tight body, and really nice blonde hair.

 

            She began to speak to me. “So you’re the newest member in our wonderful program! Welcome!”

 

            “Funny way to welcome a guest,” I said. “Shocking him and strapping him to a table.”

 

            “Oh, but it’s the only way to handle naughty little boys like yourself,” she said in a sexy, but condescending voice.

 

            “Wait one second,” I said. “I may be ‘naughty’, but I ain’t no little boy. I’m a fucking man…OUCH!”

 

            All of a sudden I got another horrible shock from the collar I was still wearing. Thankfully, this one only lasted about five seconds, and even though I still hurt, my body wasn’t weakened like it had been from the longer shock earlier.

 

            “You better watch that potty-mouth of yours,” she told me. “Every time you say a naughty word, you will receive a shock for five seconds. After 200 curses, it will become ten seconds, and every 200 curses it becomes five seconds longer. We have found this to be a very effective way of cleaning up filthy little mouths.”

 

            Being very frustrated at what she told me, I decided I would shut up for the moment; those shocks were so painful that I wanted to avoid them at all costs.

 

            She then continued. “Hmm…I’m told your name is Luke. But that doesn’t seem to fit a cute little boy like you. I think I like your middle name, Cody, much better. So that’s what we’ll call you while you’re here.”

 

            Forgetting the collar, I yelled, “I hate that fucking name!” I then received another horrible shock.

 

            “You’ll learn shortly, Cody,” she responded. “Anyway, let me inform you about our program. It was developed for bad little boys such as yourself in order to fix what is wrong with you. The basic idea is that you were raised wrong, and that is why you are the unpleasant thorn in society’s side that you are. Therefore, we will have to start over, and retrain you in your ways.”

 

            “What in the…heck are you talking about? Start over?”

 

            “Oh you’ll find out soon enough. For now, I think we had better get you dressed.”

 

            As she went over to open a drawer, I said, “Good, I want to put my clothes back on anyway.” I had assumed that they had only made me naked to perform a physical on me or something.

 

            “Oh, you’ll have no need of those rugged things anymore,” she said as she rummaged around in the drawer. “We have brand new clothes for you. I think we’ll start off with disposable…they’re easier to deal with, anyway.”

 

            Not having a clue what she was talking about, I just watched her for a second. As she turned toward me, I noticed she had something in each hand. In one hand was a small container. In the other, a soft white material that had this little cartoon pattern along the edge of it.

 

            Suddenly, to my great horror, I began to piece together what was happening. The words “start over”, “disposable”, and “little boy” all combined together with the material she was holding to make me realize what it was. It was a…DIAPER.

 

            As I made the connection, the nurse woman spoke again. “You see, Cody, in order to retrain you, we must start from the beginning. This means you will have to become like you were at the beginning, in other words, a baby. And as you probably know, babies must wear diapers, so let’s get you ready.”

 

            I of course wouldn’t have any of this fucking shit. I yelled, “No fucking way, bitch!” I got another nasty shock, but after the initial pain, this one had no effect on me; I was too angry. I continued to thrash my body wildly about; there was no way in hell I would be wearing a diaper.

 

            Unfortunately, the nurse lady was prepared. “Tut tut,” she said. “Let’s teach our new baby a lesson.” With that, she pressed a button on her sleeve, and I felt another horrible shock. This one, however, didn’t go away for a full two minutes. It was pure agony; I wished that I could die rather than for the pain to continue any longer.

 

            When it was finally over, I yet again did not have the strength to move. Although my head was positioned in a way to see my crotch and the nurse, I couldn’t move it.

 

            A smile spread across her face as she stepped towards me. As I lay there limply, she opened up the container and began to sprinkle a white powder on my crotch. The smell of it was sickeningly sweet…it reminded me of the smell of babies. This led me to realize that it was baby powderthat she was putting on my crotch. Too weak to express any anger, I could only manage to say in a tiny voice, “Wait, what are you doing, don’t put that on me!”

 

            But she only continued to smile and say in a babyish voice, “Oh come now, baby Cody has to smell nice and baby fresh like the baby he is. Besides, we don’t want him to get a diaper rash!”

 

            These words were so horribly embarrassing that I actually began to cry. And I never, I mean, never, cry.

 

            The nurse continued to do her work, humming as she grabbed my ankles, lifted up my legs (how in the hell did she do that? it took her no effort at all!), and then put some of the baby powder on my ass, which she referred to as my “baby bottom” (which I hated). She then unfolded the diaper and placed it underneath me.

 

            At this point I was bursting in tears, and just pleaded with her in a bitchy, whiny little voice. “Please,” I cried. “Don’t do this! Don’t put me in a fucking diaper!”

 

            The shock I received from my cursing just reminded me of how helpless I was. I still didn’t have the strength to resist, and before I knew it, the nurse had pulled the diaper through my legs and tightly fastened around my waist with the tapes on the side.

 

            The feel of it was horrible. It was extremely thick, almost as if I had a pillow under my butt. Plus it was so soft, making me feel like the biggest pansy in the world. These two things were so cuddly that I almost felt like physically vomiting. I felt the soft plastic up against my thighs, butt, and whole crotch. To make matters worse, I looked down and saw these little cartoon characters dancing around gleefully on the strip along my waist. But there was nothing I could do; I was trapped in this soft plastic prison, and I honestly began to feel like a helpless little fucking baby. The whole feeling made me continue to loudly cry and whine, no matter how hard I tried to keep it in. I felt the tears stream down my face and my cheeks were red hot from humiliation.

 

            But this wasn’t enough torture for the nurse. She had to keep on mocking me and degrading me by talking to me like I was an actual baby.

 

            “Aww, yes, my sweet wittle Cody looks so adorable in his dydee! But don’t cry, wittle baby, you’ll have many other nice things to play with! Toys, rattles, pacifiers, teddy bears, blankies, and many other delights that will surely make baby Cody stop crying!”

 

            This only added to my grief as I continued to sob and take in the fact that I would be helplessly treated like a baby. Not only was my body still physically weak, but I knew that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. If I ever began to step out of line in the slightest bit, I would have to face that ungodly pain again, and my body would become too weak to do anything for another period of time.

 

            As the horror of my whole situation hit me, I didn’t even have the energy to resist. I was in a state of complete apathy and defeat, so I just gave up. I just helplessly watched as the nurse began to dress me in pajamas for babies…I would later learn it was called a footed sleeper. It was this disgustingly cute baby blue, and it had Mickey Mouse designs on it. To my utmost horror I realized that sewn into it on the chest it said “Baby Cody”, which made me cry even more. Not to mention the fact that the warm, soft material covered my whole body.

 

            I then saw her take out one of those things babies suck on, in other words, a pacifier. I saw her take a piece of ribbon and tie it around the pacifier, and then she pinned the ribbon to my sleeper.

 

            “Well, since my wittle Cody can’t seem to stop crying, maybe this will quiet him down. And if he doesn’t want his paci, maybe he would rather have another shock!”

 

            Utterly terrified at the prospect of being shocked again, I continued to cry as she inserted the rubber nipple of the pacifier into my mouth. It muffled my crying, and it actually sounded just like it does when a baby is crying and a mother gives it a pacifier to calm it down. My sobs continued, but the pacifier muffled the sounds, making it sound like a mere whimper. All of my pride had now been run into the ground as I sucked on the pacifier like a little one year old. I reminded myself of all of those stupid ass TV shows where the baby won’t shut up until it gets its pacifier.

 

            The nurse then un-strapped me from the table. I didn’t even attempt to fight back because I was so scared of getting another shock. She then lifted me up and carried me in her arms (again, I was dumbfounded by her total strength). I continued to cry as she smiled down at me and made baby noises to try to cheer me up. She then laughed and remarked that it was fitting that I was crying since I would have to get used to my new life as a baby. She then cooed me once more and pinched my cheek, which I completely loathed.

 

            Still sobbing around my pacifier, I looked at the walls as the nurse carried me through the hall. Eventually we came to this huge door with a sign over it. The sign read “THE NURSERY”. Upon reading it I cried into my pacifier even more.

 

Part 2

 

            As the nurse carried me into “The Nursery”, I experienced a new feeling: just pure awe. Firstly, the size of the room was amazing; it was easily half the size of a football field. The walls were a combination of pale colors; a light “baby” blue, pink and yellow, and the carpeted floor white. What made this even more awkward was the fact that the walls were covered with all kinds of babyish designs, from smiling bunny rabbits to cartoon characters to paintings of teenage boys crawling around in diapers. The pure cuteness of it all truly sickened my stomach, especially because it reminded me of my current condition. It almost felt like the designs were pointing fingers at me and laughing at my baby treatment.

 

            Even more shocking than the room itself was what was contained in it. Almost every kind of item or furniture you think about when you think about babies was in here. There was a row of baby cribs up against one wall, but these were not normal cribs; a full grown adult could fit in one. I saw big high chairs up against tables. I saw bookshelves filled with little kids’ books. I saw rocking chairs and rocking horses. I saw all kinds of baby toys and blocks scattered across the floor. And worst of all, I saw a huge line of those horrid diaper changing tables, each covered with sickening baby designs.

 

            But what truly made this room shocking and horrifying was not the room itself, nor the objects contained in it; no, the worst part was the fact that there were about 100 boys in the room, and each one was wearing baby clothes. They looked to range from about eight years old to about twenty years old. Some were wearing sleepers like me, others were wearing overalls, some were wearing what I later learned were onesies, and some were just there in their diapers with nothing covering them up. And even if you could not plainly see their diapers, that telltale bulge made certain that each boy was wearing a thick diaper, whether it was disposable or cloth.

 

            In addition to the boys, there were many grown women in the room as well. But they were not dressed as babies; they wore adult clothes, and even though they did not have the same appearance as the nurse who was holding me, it was clear that they were there to watch over the boys and enforce the rules.

 

            As if that in itself wasn’t bad enough, I could tell these boys were not in the same mindset as me. As I watched, I realized they were not merely dressed as babies and resisting the idea. They weren’t even acting like they were aware of it. Instead, each was acting like a real baby. I was sickened by these sights but at the same time I felt sorry for these pathetic kids.

 

            I saw one kid that looked about 15 who was playing with some of the blocks strewn across the floor. I saw a 12 year old shaking a rattle and staring blankly at it. I saw a 9 year old trying to suck his toes. I saw a whole group of boys being read a story by one of the women, and the boys were all listening intently to every word. I saw an 18 year old asleep on the floor, a smile across his face as he sucked his thumb and clutched a baby blanket that was big enough for him. I saw a 16 year old being rocked in a rocking chair and being fed a baby bottle by one of the women. I saw a group of boys peacefully sleeping in some of the cribs. I saw a 13 year old being spoon fed in a high chair. I saw an 8 year old rolling around on the floor making baby noises. And worst of all, I saw a whole group of boys laying down on the changing tables with women standing over them, and I shuddered to think that they were getting their diapers changed.

 

            As I took all this in, my previous feelings of anger, sadness, and humiliation were all multiplied by ten. The fear of the shock collar was still in my mind, so all I could make myself do was softly whine around my pacifier.

 

            The nurse carried me over to the middle of the whole area and just set me down on my ass. The carpet felt soft, and it felt weird to have so much padding between my ass and the ground. After told me to “Have fun with your little friends, baby Cody,” the nurse left the room.

 

            As I sat there dumbstruck by what I was seeing, I began to calm down and stop my foolish crying. I spit out the pacifier but didn’t bother to unpin it from my sleeper. As I tried to think straight, I became more and more appalled at what I saw.

 

            First of all, I hate babies anyway. They make these really annoying crying sounds, they’re always spitting up, and they always smell because they shit their diapers. But it was ten times worse seeing these boys, not babies, but boys, acting like babies. In addition to the dumb giggling and gurgling noises that were everywhere, every now and then you’d hear one just burst out into crying. And I’m not talking about soft crying like mine; they were screaming at the top of lungs. As I watched, one of the women would rush over to comfort the screaming pre-teen or teenager. She would then often do things like play a game to calm him down, bounce him up and down, give him a pacifier, put him down for a nap, feed him a bottle, or, if need be, take him over to a changing table to change his diaper.

 

            The sight of this began to really upset me and it started to drive me crazy. Deciding that the only option I had was to escape this evil nursery, I immediately rose to my feet and tried to run.

 

            But to my dismay, as soon as I got to my feet, another tortuous shock from my collar made by body collapse again. This completely terrified me. I realized that the collar not only had a built in shock for swearing, but also for standing. I then realized that most of the boys would not walk; instead, they would crawl. I panicked, feeling a new sense of confinement. Feeling stupid, I attempted to try crawling. Thankfully, it worked, and I could move about with pretty much freedom. But I couldn’t go nearly as fast as I could running, and surely one of the women would catch me and I’d be in for a huge shock if I tried to escape.

 

            My last resort was trying to remove the collar. But this hope was destroyed when I realized that as soon as I pulled on it, I got another shock. With my last idea being useless, I felt a complete sense of defeat. I simply just sat back down on my butt and began crying again.

 

            I must have not been crying really hard, because thankfully, none of the stupid bitches tried to come over and make me stop. Instead, a boy who looked to be about 10 started to crawl over to me. He was only wearing a red T-shirt and a cloth diaper, and he was holding a teddy bear, and even though he only spoke gibberish, he offered me the bear.

 

            I was still really upset and pouting, so I grabbed the stupid bear and threw it across the room. This immediately caused the boy to howl out very loudly, and immediately one of the women came and picked him up. As she patted his back and tried to calm him down with her soft words, he slowly stopped crying. She put him back down and he crawled over to play with some of those baby ring things on the floor.

 

            I didn’t understand why she hadn’t punished me or even taken any notice of me. But I was just glad that I didn’t receive another shock. Still though, I was stuck, and not knowing what else to do, I pouted and went back to thinking about how completely bad this situation was. I didn’t see how this whole place was legal at all. I thought about how if my parents knew what went on in here how they would sue the living hell out of it.

 

            Then another truly horrible thought struck me; maybe they knew exactly what was going on here, and that they supported it! If so, that meant that no one who would think this place was awful knew that I was here!

 

            But it’s not like it mattered. Even if my parents didn’t know about all this, there was no way that I could escape it and let anyone know what was going on.

 

            As I began to ponder what I had done to deserve this, another boy crawled over toward me. Well, I say boy; he actually looked like he was in his mid twenties. He had blondish brown hair that was neatly parted, light brown eyes, and a face that looked like he belonged in one of those fucking boy bands. Like me, he had a footed sleeper on, but his was yellow. He also had a pacifier attached to it by a ribbon, and he was gladly sucking on the pacifier. I noticed that across his chest read the name “Baby Johnny”.

 

            I was totally expecting another baby-like encounter like I had had with the previous boy, so you can imagine my total shock when he spit out his pacifier, held out his right hand towards me and said “Put ‘er there pal!” in a completely normal (and surprisingly low) voice.

 

Part 3

 

Completely taken aback by this phrase, I basically just continued to stare at the guy in disbelief. After a few seconds, he pulled his hand back.

 

            “Fine, be rude,” he said. “It makes no difference to me anymore, I’ve come to expect it from another punk kid like you.”

 

            Still in shock, the only thing I managed to say was, “You…you can talk!”

 

            “Apparently so can you,” he responded with a sarcastic smile. “Genius communication skill, ain’t it?”

 

            “Wait, now I’m really confused,” I said as I put my face in the palm of my hand.

 

            The guy just laughed and said, “Well, let me break it down for ya. I’ll start off by introducing myself. I’m John Wyatt, although I’m now simply known as ‘Baby Johnny’, as you’ve probably been able to tell by the lovely sewn in label.” As he made this comment, he motioned his hand towards the label across his chest.

 

            He continued by saying, “You are now the newest recruit to this ‘illustrious’ program. They call it ‘Reconstruction’, and this place is known as ‘The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths’, although it’s earned the nickname ‘The Baby Start Over Program’. I’m assuming they’ve told you what the program does, no?”

 

            It was kind of hard to tell when “Johnny” was being sarcastic and when he was serious. Still sort of lost, I said, “All that nurse lady told me was that I’m going to ‘start over’ because I wasn’t raised right, or something like that.”

 

            “Well, that’s the basic idea, my friend,” he said. “You, just like we all once were, are a burden to society. Don’t try to deny it,” he added when I was about to object. “I know that you’ve already committed God knows how many crimes. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

 

            “You see, this place is sort of a last resort for parents who don’t know what to do with their delinquent children. Everyone here once had problems that no school, no court, no correctional program could fix. Their parents had given up, and upon hearing about the program, decided to enroll their troubled youth. And that is why you’re here, am I right?”

 

            He had basically hit the nail on the head. But as I looked around, I couldn’t believe it. There was no way these wussy kids had once broken the law. They were just like babies, for crying out loud!

 

            “Yeah, that’s why I’m here, I guess,” I said. “But wait, you’re tryin’ to tell me these fucking…OWW!” I said as I received another shock.

 

            Johnny just laughed and said, “Oh, you’ll learn eventually. It only takes so many shocks to purge you of your profanity. Although I will say that I myself still occasionally utter a filthy word and get a nasty shock,”

 

            After recovering from my shock, I got back on track. “Anyway, you’re tellin’ me these…pansies were once violent, disrespectful lawbreakers?”

 

            “Indeed, my friend,” he replied. “As you look around this room, you will see a whole tandem of kids, ranging from age 8 to age 20 that were once young hoodlums in their respective neighborhoods. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

 

            “Take a look at Joey over there,” Johnny said as he pointed to a kid that looked 13 and who was currently building a structure out of blocks. “Before he came here, he was a gang member who specialized in knife fights. He hospitalized a few other random kids, and his parents couldn’t stand to see him be punished, using their money to save him from legal punishment. But now that he’s made his way here and started going through the program, he’s as harmless as a one year old.

 

            “How ‘bout ol’ Simon over there?” he said motioning towards a 15 year old that was being bottle fed by one of the women. “By age twelve he was stealing cars every other week. Now, he won’t even touch another kid’s toy without asking for it.

 

            “I think Calvin was one of the roughest kids that’s come here,” he said, pointing at a 17 year old who…I shuddered…was getting his diaper changed. “He specialized in arson, God knows how many buildings lay in ashes because of his work. He even claimed that he killed a kid but was proven ‘not guilty’ in court. I have to admit even I was surprised when I would watch him peacefully doze off in his crib snuggling with his teddy bear.

 

            “Some are younger, of course. Matt over there is still physically only age 8, although like all the others he has the mind of a baby. He would get into fights every single day at school, and he eventually hit his principle and broke his nose (‘strong kid,’ I thought). Now he bawls non-stop until he gets his pacifier and is rocked back and forth to soothe his nerves.

 

            “Then there’s Tommy. That 10 year old over there, the one trying to get his toes in his mouth, was once a drug dealer. How he managed to get into all that by the tender age of 10, I’ll never know. But now he’s an adorable fellow that would make any common girl say ‘Awww’.

 

            “And then of course there’re your rapists. Billy over there,” he said pointing to a 16 year old. “He raped countless girls at weekly parties. But I’ll never forget the look of pain and humiliation in his face when he was bent over one of these women’s knees and spanked until the cows came home. Sometimes that happens to the more resistant blokes.”

 

            “Perhaps you’re wondering why there ain’t no girls here. I have heard that there are institutions such as this one for girls, although I’ve never seen it with my own two eyes. The creators apparently only think the program works if the genders are separated. Besides, as you can imagine, there are plenty more hoodlum boys than girls.”

 

            After this whole speech, I’m still not sure if I believed Johnny. It seemed like there was no way that these harmless little babies were at one time horrible criminals. It just couldn’t be. Curious as to how these kids could have been possibly transformed, I decided to ask Johnny how the program worked.

 

            “Ok, wait a second,” I said. “If what you’re saying is indeed true, then how in the…heck, did they go from such bad kids to the little wussies they are now?”

 

            Johnny smiled and said, “Well, it’s a bit of a complicated process, but I’ll still try to explain how it works, considering I doubt either of us are going anywhere anytime soon. Uh, well,” he said as he looked up over my head. “After your feeding, that is…Enjoy!”

 

            Puzzled by what he was talking about, I just looked at him funny. I then felt a shadow go over me, then I felt someone lift me up from my armpits, and before I knew it, one of the women in the room was holding me in her arms and carrying me (like a baby, I might add) over to a rocking chair.

 

            As she walked (how in the hell was she so strong?), she smiled at me and said, “Ok, wittle Cody, time for you to get your ba-ba!”

 

            Once I realized that she was talking about giving me a baby-bottle, I at once yelled “NO WAY!” and I began to struggle and try to escape from her arms. But she seemed to have the same strength as the two guards that had carried me in, and no matter how much I resisted, she held me firmly in her arms.

 

            “No no no, baby Cody,” she said. “It is time for your bottle, and you WILL be a good boy and drink the whole thing!”

 

            As she sat down in the rocking chair, still holding me tightly with one arm, she reached over and retrieved a baby bottle that was full of milk. As she began to press it towards my mouth, I shot out a hand and grabbed it, trying to hold it back. But she was just too strong; the nipple inched closer and closer to my mouth. But even though I couldn’t hold her hand back, I could at least prevent it from going into my mouth. As it approached my mouth I tightly closed my lips, and she was unable to get it through.

 

            “Well, if baby Cody is going to be a bad little boy, then we will just have to punish him!” she said. With that, she reached over and touched her wrist, and I immediately experienced that same torturous shock throughout my entire body. After it went on for a full minute, my body collapsed again and I could put up no more resistance.

 

            Satisfied, the woman then took the bottle again, and this time it went into my mouth without resistance. As tears filled my eyes again, she forcefully squeezed the milk into my mouth, and I was simply too weak to prevent myself from swallowing it. As I continued to nurse from the bottle, she rocked me back and forth, patted my butt with her hand and said “Now you’re being a good baby, Cody. Drink your whole bottle for mommy!”

 

            As I finished off the stupid thing, she took it out of my mouth and said, “There, now was that so bad? Babies need their milk, after all.” I didn’t even resolve to object to the whole idea. With the ordeal now over, the woman carried me back over to where Johnny was.

 

            “Now you can go back to playing with your new friend, Johnny,” she said as she put me down and left. To make matters even worse, Johnny was sitting there with a smirk across his face.

 

            “Have a good time?” he asked. “Milk, it truly does do a body good.”

 

            As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I muttered, “Fuck you,” and received another five second shock.

 

            “Oh come on,” he said. “Honestly, the kids here always make such a big deal about all this stuff when they first get here. Is it really that bad to be fed a bottle? Honestly…”

 

            “Yes, it is that bad,” I remarked, my pride still hurting badly.

 

            “Oh, just forget about it,” he said. “Well, where were we? I do believe you were asking me about how all these kids went from horrible monsters to the harmless babies you see before you. Are you still interested in pursuing the topic?”

 

            I wasn’t really that interested, but I wanted to have something to think about other than the horrible experience of being bottle-fed, so I said, “Yeah, go ahead.”

 

            “All right,” Johnny began. “Well, as you know, the whole idea behind this program is that you were raised wrong, and that is why you have committed the immoral acts that you have. In order to change who you are, they must start over and retrain you. However, the first step in the reconstruction process is called ‘decoding’.”

 

            “What is that?” I asked.

 

            “Well, before they attempt to re-teach you everything about growing up, they must first prepare your mind and body to take in this information again. You see, when kids first get here, their minds have already been damaged…it is impossible for you, for example, to change your ways in your current state of mind.

 

            “Now whether you want to admit it or not, at one point in your life, you were a helpless, innocent baby. Your mommy had to bottle-feed you, put in your crib for naps, and change your messy diapers, among other things. And all you did was cry when you were upset…there was no evil thought in you.

 

            “Well, basically, what this program must first do is return your body and your mind to that state; that is the only way anything can be changed. You have to become malleable, if you will.

 

            “So what in the hell…Ouch!” I said as I received another shock. I would really have to get used to this shock thing.

 

            “I mean, heck, are they going to do to me first?”

 

            “Well, it’s already in effect,” Johnny explained. “You see, most of the fine male specimens you see before you have already been decoded, hence their baby behavior. I do believe there are about five kids, other than you, that are still in the decoding process. You probably wouldn’t enjoy conversing with them, however. They can still talk, but their interests are nothing like they once were; they would probably only want to talk to you about how much they love their pacifiers and how much they like having their diapers changed.

 

            “Anyway, the first things to go in the decoding process are your physical abilities. As you have found out, you are currently unable to stand without receiving a shock. The purpose of this is that they want to condition your body so that the only physical mobility you will be capable of is crawling. Eventually, your legs muscles will ‘forget’ how to walk, and when you attempt to walk, you will lack balance and the proper strength, and you will therefore collapse and fall over. Even if they wanted to and didn’t get shocked, no decoded kid here would be able to walk unless they have been re-taught how.

 

            “Also, if you’ve noticed, the women here, who we refer to as ‘nannies’, can pick you up and control you very easily. This is not because they are very strong; they’re just average women. It’s your collar; not only does it have shocking capabilities, but it weakens your muscles and makes you light as, well, a baby.

 

            “The purpose of this is to reduce the strength of your muscles. They will not become as weak as a baby’s, but they will become considerably weaker than what they currently are. Even without collars on, most kids here couldn’t put up much resistance if they chose to. This makes it much easier for the nannies to keep them in line.”

 

            As I listened, I became horrified to realize what would happen to my body. “That’s so fucked up…Oww!” I began to say before another shock.

 

            “That’s so messed up,” I tried again. “Does that really happen?”

 

            “I speak the truth to you, my friend. It will happen. And then of course there are your bladder and bowels. I’ll give you about four weeks before you become incontinent.”

 

            “And how does that happen?” I asked.

 

            “Well think about it. Whether you want to or not, you WILL piss and shit…”

 

            But he was cut off from his collar shocking him. To my great surprise, Johnny got shocked for about five minutes. It went on for so long that I thought the pain would actually knock him out.

 

            But to my great surprise, once it ended, he acted like it hadn’t happened at all.

 

            “I really do know better than to curse like that,” he remarked.

 

            “How in the world are you so unaffected by it, though?” I asked.

 

            “Oh, I’m conditioned to it by now. The shock doesn’t affect me any more than a pin prick. But if YOU get conditioned to it, they’ll find other ways to keep you line, if need be,” he said as he saw the look of hope in my eyes.

 

            “Back to what I was saying, you WILL…’go pee pee’ or ‘poo poo’ in your diaper, whether you like it or not. If you haven’t noticed, there are no bathrooms in here, and you have no way to escape this room considering you can only crawl. And if you try to remove your diaper, or even your sleeper, a nanny will soon notice you and you will receive a five minute shock. So, eventually you’ll have no choice but to go in your diaper. And after you do it long enough, you’ll find you won’t be able to control it any more and it will come out without you even noticing. Like I said, I give you about four weeks, tops. But don’t worry if you’re wet or messy…you simply have to just cry for a bit and a nanny will rush over and change you…they’re pretty good at noticing wet and dirty diapers.”

 

            “I don’t believe you,” I said. “There’s no way I’m gonna…do that, in my, my…”

 

            “I’ve heard many say the same,” Johnny remarked. “And look at them now,” he added, pointing over to some boys getting their diapers changed by the nannies.

 

            “Anyway,” he continued. “Your physical attributes will go first, but your mind will still be the same. However, eventually, and it varies from person to person, but given enough time, your mind will begin to return to the way it was when you were a baby. It’s usually a slow process, and because of this, it will probably happen without you even noticing it.

 

            “Typically, it starts small. Kids generally start by finding an interest in the toys here or having stories read to them. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying ‘There’s no way I would ever play with blocks or like these stories.’ But remember, my friend, you have no other form of entertainment. There is no one here who will talk to you normally, save me. The nannies just treat you like a baby, and the kids, well, they’re babies themselves. And it’s not like you have anything else to do. Eventually, you’ll get bored, and your only source of amusement will be these things. Over time, you’ll begin to love them. You’ll be able to pass hours by playing with the toys you see before you, and you’ll become sad, happy, or scared when you here stories like ‘Goldie-locks and the Three Bears’ or ‘Cinderella’. And your reactions will become increasingly babyish because those around you are that way. It will become natural for you to clap with glee when something makes you happy in a story, and simple parts in fairy tales will bring you to tears.

 

            “On that same note, emotionally you will become more and more baby-like. Just look at your current emotions…you have already experienced extreme defeat and grief. And my friend, the only comfort you will receive will be from the nannies and various baby paraphernalia. When faced with complete sadness and defeat and when you have nowhere else to turn, you’ll find pleasure when a nanny holds you in her arms, rocks you and tells you that you’re a good baby. You’ll begin to enjoy the way she plays with you and gives you attention when she changes your diaper. And you’ll begin to get a warm feeling in your stomach and chest when you hug a soft teddy bear, cuddly blankie, or when you suck a pacifier or your thumb. Like it or not, you’ll grow to love these things.

 

            “And your sleep is affected too. They force you to take naps in addition to all of the sleep you get every night. After all, babies do sleep a lot. You will eventually find cribs not to be confining, but they will give you security. And given enough time, you will be unable to sleep without a pacifier, teddy, or other such items. But with these items, you will experience the most peaceful sleep in your life, and your body will have the physical need of getting up to sixteen hours of sleep a day.

 

            “Of course other aspects of your mind will go too. With no one speaking real English to you, you will lose your ability to speak anything but babyish gurgles and crying. Although if you are stubborn and continue to speak English properly, they will resort to shocking you whenever you speak real words. In addition, your perception will be weakened, and you will start viewing yourself as a tiny baby who is in complete control of the nannies. It will become completely natural for you to cry when you are upset about something, whether you’re scared, hungry, or wet.

 

            “You may be wondering how all of this is accomplished. Well, some of it is forced, such as your motor skills and bladder control. In addition, when you sleep, you will at first be tied in your crib, and a pacifier will be strapped into your mouth to force dependence. Likewise, even though they start off by forcing you to be spoon-fed or bottle-fed like you just experienced, soon they will force you to cry when it is feeding time or when you need to be changed. If you refuse, they resort to more shocking, and they will continue to shock you until you cry. They will then proceed to feed you or change you. After time, you will find yourself automatically crying whenever you feel hunger or realize that you need a diaper change, among other things.

 

            “Other aspects just happen naturally, such as your interest in toys and stories, lack of speech (unless they decide to force you), and emotional security. The environment you’re in will have its way with you and without you even realizing what’s happening, these parts of you will become more and more baby-like.

 

            “Given enough time, the process of decoding will be complete. Other than your body size, you will be in all ways exactly like the baby you once were. Once this is achieved, the reconstruction process can continue.”

 

            This was a whole lot for me to take in, and even though as Johnny talked I became more and more horrified, I had a hard time believing him. I mean, there was no way that I would enjoy holding a stupid teddy bear or wet my diaper…I’d sooner die.

 

            I voiced this concern. “Come on, now,” I said. “You can’t be for real. There’s no way that’ll happen to me.”

 

            “My friend,” he responded. “That’s what they all have said. And look at them now…they’re just as much babies now as when they were physical babies, except for their physical size, of course.”

 

            This hit me very hard and I was greatly frightened by it. Nonetheless, I continued to prod away at Johnny.

 

            “Wait a sec,” I said. “There have got to be a few kids on whom the process didn’t work. I mean, some kids must have resisted and refused so much that the nannies and other people in this program just gave up, right? And the kids got kicked out and were still delinquents, right?”

 

            But Johnny just laughed. “My friend, I wish I could tell you that this was the case. But there has not been one person that I’ve seen come through here that have resisted the program so much that the decoding process failed. Every single kid has been regressed completely back to babyhood, no matter how bad they were. Well, except me, of course.”

 

            I began to ask Johnny why he was different than all of the others, but as I asked the question he said, “That’s a very good question, and because not everyone who comes through here has the sense to ask it, I’ll tell you. But not today…you’re not ready to know yet.”

 

            Not knowing what he meant, I said nothing and he continued to talk.

 

            “I will admit some of the kids give in before others do. It’s amazing how fast some of the kids turn. They are so distraught by their initial baby treatment that they immediately give in to the love, comfort and pleasures of their baby treatment. It may just be that they are weak minded individuals, but whatever the reason, they quickly transform from rough and tough kids to cute, harmless little babies.

 

            “Others tend to put up more of a fight. Other than me, I think the record for the decoding process to complete is around five years. Old Danny holds that record,” he said, pointing to a 17 year old gleefully listening to one of the nanny’s reading a story. “He had such a fire in him, and other than me, I don’t think anyone has received more of the punishments.”

 

            “Punishments?” I asked. “Isn’t the shock treatment enough to make anybody give in?”

 

            “You’d think so,” he said. “But as you’ve seen with me, your body eventually gets conditioned to it. Although at this point it is probably more painful than anything else you’ve ever experienced, that’s just because you’re new. Many kids have been able to actively resist the shock treatment for long enough that it doesn’t affect them much more, and the nannies and other workers have to resort to other methods of getting kids to cooperate.

 

            “It’s actually a step process. Once they realize the shocking isn’t having the desired effect, they resort to the first type of punishment. After a while, if you still resist, they move on to the next, and so on. Each one becomes more and more horrible, and in the end, all kids eventually crack, and no matter how much they resist, they too become decoded.”

 

            Even though I was a bit frightened to hear what these other punishments were, I pursued the topic. “What are the different types of punishment?”

 

            “Well, the first step is…” he began, but I didn’t find out what the first step was just yet, because Johnny then stopped, looked down at his crotch and said, “Uh-oh, mate, looks like I’ve got a wet diaper. You’ll have to excuse me for a bit.”

 

            Then without warning and to my surprise, Johnny began to bawl at the top of his lungs, just like a real baby. There were even tears in his eyes! Within seconds, a nanny rushed over, picked him up, realized that his diaper was wet, and carried him over to a changing table.

 

            I didn’t really want to watch, but my curiosity got the best of me. I crawled after the nanny over to the changing table that she had laid him down on. He was still crying as she began to unfasten his sleeper at the waist, but I heard her begin to comfort him.

 

            “There there, wittle Johnny,” she said as she began to rub his stomach. “It’s ok, mommy is hear to change you.”

 

            Once the bottom of his sleeper was opened, she then unfastened what I would later learn are called “plastic pants”, and then un-pinned the safety pins holding his wet cloth diaper to his body. She took it off, and disposed of the diaper in one pail, the pair of plastic pants in another, where they would both later be washed. Johnny was naked, but neither he nor the nanny thought it was weird at all. It was just as if Johnny was an actual baby having his diaper changed.

 

            He began to calm down as the nanny took a baby wipe and began to clean his dick, his thighs, his waist, and his butt, and his crying was reduced to a whimper. After he was clean, the nanny took some baby powder and powdered his ass (she had grabbed his ankles and lifted his legs so that she could easily get to his butt, and I was reminded about how his collar had affected his weight). Afterwards, she unfolded and slid another cloth diaper under his butt, shook some more baby powder onto his dick and hips, and pulled his diaper up over his waist. She then refastened his diaper using two more “diaper pins” on each side. Afterwards, she put another pair of plastic pants on him. He had considerably calmed down by now, and he was even smiling. The nanny then put her mouth on his belly button and blew some bubbles into it, making a snorting type sound. This resulted in Johnny letting out a babyish giggle, and the nanny just smiled back down at him as she refastened his sleeper.

 

            She then picked him back up, said, “There, all done!”, gave him a good pat on his diapered ass, and placed him back down on the floor. After she left, he simply smiled at me and said, “Ah, there really is little better in life than the feeling of a nice, fresh diaper! I’m tellin’ you kid, drugs and alcohol have got nothing on this feeling”

 

            Still shocked by what I had just seen, I said to him, “But wait…have YOU been decoded, too?”

 

            He laughed again and said, “Well, sort of…it’s a long story, and at some point I’ll tell you. But what you just witnessed is what I like to call ‘playing the system’. That was all an act; I was fully aware of the fact I was being changed, and even though it’s nice to have your wet diaper taken off and getting a new one, my crying was completely under my control. I could have stopped anytime I wanted, I just wanted to make the nanny think she was doing her job.”

 

            “But why did you fake it?” I asked. “What’s the point?”

 

            “I’ll explain it to you later, kid,” he said. “I think we’ve talked quite a bit today. I’ll let you brew over everything I’ve told you…you’ll need some time to take it all in. Plus, I don’t want the nannies getting too suspicious of us, since we’ve been talking for so long. Besides,” he said with a yawn. “I think I need to get some shut-eye, I’m well past the time for my daily nap.”

 

            “Wait, one more question,” I said. “Why are you telling ME all of this?”

 

            Johnny simply smiled at me and said, “Well, kid, to be honest, I don’t tell all of this to every kid that passes through here. They think I’m a baby just like the rest of them. I have found it to be a waste of my time and energy to tell every single kid, and many of them are much better off without ever hearing about how they will be decoded. The ones I talk to tend to be more resistant to the idea, too; it makes sense considering that once they are aware of what’s going on, they will more actively refuse to accept it.

 

            “I typically watch every new kid’s actions for a few days to study them. If they’re the more resistant type, I typically speak to them. If they begin to show signs of giving in, I’ve found that they’re much better off being ignorant of what’s going on; they quickly become happy with their baby treatment, and me telling them what’s happening to them would just ruin it.”

 

            “So why did you tell me on my first day?”

 

            “Ha ha, well kid, let me put it this way,” he said. “I have seen countless hoodlums come through this program, but you’re one of the only few who actually cried in your first few minutes. Maybe it was my own personal desire to comfort you in your defeat, or maybe it was just pity, but even though I knew that since you were crying you’d probably be of a weaker will and be more apt to give in to the decoding, I just couldn’t let you sit there and be miserable. And who knows, maybe now that I’ve told you, you might be able to break Danny’s record and fight the decoding process for more than five years. I think you’ll be an entertaining one to watch, Cody.”

 

            “My name’s not Cody, it’s Luke!” I retorted.

 

            “Well, that ain’t what it says on your sleeper, Cody,” he said as he turned and crawled away.

 

            As I sat there and tried to ponder what I had just heard, I felt an irritation towards Johnny. I was bothered by the fact that he had said that I would be more likely to give in to the decoding because I had cried, but when I stopped to think about it, I was even more bothered by the fact that he said I was one of the very few in the large number that he had seen who had actually cried on the first day I was here.

 

Part 4

 

            With Johnny gone, I had no one to talk to, so I just took a deep breath and lay down on the floor. As soon as I did, I realized that I had to take a piss. As I remembered what Johnny had told me about this, I decided I didn’t want to deal with it, so I ignored the pressure in my bladder. To get my mind on something else, I began to contemplate everything Johnny had told me.

 

            As much as I didn’t want to believe it, what Johnny had described logically made sense…given enough time in a place like this, anybody would start to forget all of the necessary skills to live. I was greatly frightened by the idea of my mind and body returning to a baby-like state, so I decided not to worry about it at the moment. I simply resolved to make sure that I kept my mind sharp and focus on keeping it normal.

 

            The more I thought about it, the more this program sickened me. I still didn’t understand how this program was legal, but I assumed it was because I doubted my parents would get involved with an illegal organization. But this had to be cruel and unusual punishment. I still had the distant hope that my parents, the government, and whoever else would have a problem with this place really didn’t know what went down in here. With that hope, I tried to convince myself that they would find out about it before I had to spend much more time here.

 

            As I continued to think about all of this, the pressure on my bladder got worse and worse. I had never had to go this bad, and I crossed my legs tightly to prevent it from happening. But I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.

 

            It was like a crazy war going on between my pride of not pissing myself and the physical pressure of my bladder wanting me to do so. It got so bad that I even felt pain. I tightened my face and rolled back and forth to hold it in.

 

            But eventually, it got so unbearable that I had no physical choice but to just let it go. Feeling another sense of defeat, I relaxed my muscles. It took a few seconds for my piss to start flowing, but once it did, it was like the Hoover Dam busting. I was thoroughly disgusted as I felt my diaper soak up my warm urine as it flowed out. It was so warm and moist, and not only did I feel it up against my dick and my balls, it was all over my waist and thighs too. As I finished, the horrible squishy feeling of my diaper was an all time low of my time spent here so far.

 

            As the warm moist feeling turned to a cold, damp feeling, I felt like crying again because for the first time in about 11 years, I had pissed myself. And worst of all, there was no way for me to get rid of the damp feeling of my pee up against myself.

 

            Well, other than getting my diaper changed, that is. But there was no way that was going to happen because A, I was not going to shriek like a baby to get the nannies’ attention, and B, the image of Johnny getting changed was still fresh in my mind and I definitely did not want to go through with the process.

 

            This idea worked in theory; unfortunately, a few minutes later one of the nannies came over, and as she picked me up, she said “Ok wittle Cody, it’s time for your nap!”

 

            But as she put me over her shoulder, she sensed what was wrong and said, “Uh-oh, looks like someone went pee pee in his diapy! Next time the baby should cry and let mommy know so that she can change him into a nice clean diaper!”

 

            As she turned around to carry me over to the changing tables, I once again struggled in vain. As she lay me down, I tried to kick her. You’d think I woulda learned by this point, but she immediately gave me another long shock. With my body limp once again, she used a strap to tightly tie my upper body to the table, and then unfastened the bottom of my sleeper. The only resistance I could offer was weakly saying, “But, but...I don’t wanna be changed!”

 

            “Shh…be quiet little one, mommy will fix everything.” With that she stuck my pacifier into my mouth, and since I was afraid of another shock, I just started to cry as I sucked on it. I felt her remove my wet diaper, and I felt horribly ashamed because I was now naked from the waist down. I then felt something cold and wet on my penis; she had taken a baby wipe and was wiping down my crotch. Feeling completely degraded, I just wished for the whole thing to be over. It was even worse when she lifted my legs up and wiped my ass. I then smelt and felt more baby powder being shaken onto my ass, and I felt her lower me down onto a new diaper. After more powder was applied to my crotch, my new diaper was pulled up over my waist and fastened tightly around my hips.

 

            Once she had refastened my sleeper, she picked me up again, smiled at me and said, “Now my pwecious wittle Cody is all dry again! So he can have his nap now!”

 

            She put me back over her shoulder, but this time, she actually carried me out of “The Nursery”. I then realized that the kids here did not spend all of their time in the nursery, and that they had probably been carried in and out without me noticing while I was there.

 

            I didn’t really have the energy or effort to struggle any more, so I just let the nanny carry me down the hall to a new room. This was a smaller room that had about ten cribs in it, and it was dark. As we walked in, the nanny whispered to me, “Now don’t make any noise, Cody, we don’t want to wake up any of our other babies.”

 

            I noticed that most of the cribs had boys in them who were soundlessly sleeping. Through the dark, I saw that all of them looked very happy, smiling around a pacifier or their thumbs as they slept. Although they were all covered in blankets, some of them held teddy bears or other stuffed animals in their arms.

 

            I wanted to make a lot of noise just to spite the nanny and cause the kids to wake up crying, but then I realized I would probably receive my longest shock yet. I instead just continued to suck the pacifier that was still in my mouth while the nanny lowered me into one of the cribs.

 

            However, I almost fought back when she began to tie on a strap around my wrists. But I knew that this also would result in another shock, and at this point I just didn’t care any more. After she had secured both of my wrists and ankles, she unpinned my pacifier ribbon from my sleeper and tied it around my head, insuring that I would not be able to spit it out. She then placed the large baby blanket that was in the crib over my body, tucked me in tight, gave me a small kiss on my forehead and whispered, “Night night baby.” With that, she turned and left the room.

 

            As I lay there, I began to notice that to my surprise, the crib and the blanket were very comfortable. I was warm, but not too hot, and my body felt very relaxed as I felt the soft padding of the crib against my back. Although I did not want to lower my dignity even further by taking a nap in the middle of the day like little kids do, I was worn out from all of the events of the morning, and before I knew it, my eyelids were getting heavy.

 

            The pacifier in my mouth did bother me some, but that minor annoyance could not compare to how tired I was and how comfortable the crib was. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep, happy to know that at least there was one good thing about this fucked up program.

 

            I don’t know exactly how long I slept, but it was one of the nannies who woke me up. For a second I forgot where I was, so I was a little freaked out, but then I remembered. As she began to un-strap my pacifier, I got another urge to resist the stupid woman, but this time it wasn’t the threat of shocking me that stopped me, but my own groggy state.

 

            After she re-pinned my pacifier to my sleeper, she untied me from the crib and picked me up again, although for some reason she carried me on her hip this time. She carried me out of the dark room, and we went back to the nursery.

 

            The nanny once again just plopped me down on the floor with the other kids (who were all still engaged in some kind of baby activity) and left to go do something else. I looked at one of the windows in the huge room, and even though it was a rainy day, I could tell that it was sometime in the late afternoon. I was still pretty tired, so I decided to lie down again. Although the carpet was soft, it wasn’t comfortable enough to sleep, so I got a little pissed. I then looked over and noticed a pink blanket on the floor a few feet away from me. As much as I didn’t want to touch the wussy thing, it looked comfortable, and since I was so tired, it enticed me. Resentfully I crawled over towards it, and it was even worse than I thought. There were pictures of baby boys doing various activities all over it. I picked it up with barely touching it, almost acting like it was covered in shit or something; that’s how much it disgusted me. I flattened it out the best I could, and reluctantly I spread myself out over it. As much as I hated to admit it, it really was very soft and comfortable. As I looked at all of the stupid babies on it, I sneered as I rested my face up against it.

 

            Unfortunately, even though I was really tired, my mind was swimming with thoughts. Once my “nap” was over, I found that my mind was stuck on everything Johnny had said. Was he just trying to scare me, or was it really true that every kid here becomes a baby? As I took another look around the room, I realized that it was very likely that these kids had been “decoded”, and I couldn’t think of any reason they would be here unless they used to be real thugs.

 

            I still had a hard time believing all of this was real. But now that I had gotten over my initial state of shock, it truly started to hit me, and I was not only disgusted at this program, but pissed off. What gave these people a right to do this to these kids? I mean, sure, they were pretty bad, but no one on earth deserved this. I decided that I wanted to ask Johnny how this was legal, but as I glanced around the room, he was nowhere to be found. Lying back down on the blanket, I decided that I’d find him later.

 

            Anyway, even though I felt pretty helpless to this damn system, I was angry enough to decide I would keep on fighting it. They could shock me all they wanted to, they could force me to drink bottles, they could force me to wet my diapers and have them changed, but they would not force me to be a baby again. I would fight as hard as I could to keep my 14 year old mind.

 

            But then Johnny’s words began to echo in my head… “But there has not been one person that I’ve seen come through here that has resisted the program so much that the decoding process failed. Every single kid has been regressed completely back to babyhood, no matter how bad they were.”

 

            I thought about how that Danny kid had resisted for five years, dealing with all of the “punishments”. But what good had it done? Now he was just a baby like all the rest of them. Feeling another shot of fear and defeat, I sighed and decided to stop thinking about it.

 

            There wasn’t much else to do here, so I decided I’d just watch what was happening. As I did, I began to notice a few things that I hadn’t when I had first got here. Firstly, there were the nannies. I guess I haven’t really described what they looked like, but that’s because the only thing in common about them was their actions. Some were young, some a bit older (although none looked older than 40); some hot, some not so pretty (although none were real ugly, I guess that would scare the “babies”); some wore dresses, some sweaters and jeans.

 

            But they all seemed to have the same personality; they were completely sweet and happy all of the time, and very mother-like. They excitedly read stories, bottle-fed kids with calm smiles on their faces, and played with the kids as they changed their diapers. They gave these kids constant attention and were as nice as they could be.

 

            However, as I continued to watch, I realized this wasn’t actually true; sometimes two kids would fight over a toy or something, and a nanny would come in, break it up, scold them, and even occasionally give them a quick swat on the butt. But I noticed that even though they were stern, there was still the love in their eyes.

 

            I also began to notice that they didn’t just simply watch the kids and take care of them. In addition to a nanny occasionally carrying a kid in or out of the nursery, I noticed that they would sometimes carry in cases with baby-bottles full of milk or take out empty ones (I noticed that the full bottles were kept in these little refrigerators near the rocking chairs). They would also take out the pails containing used diapers and plastic pants, and I saw one nanny bringing in a box of new diapers and putting them in some of the shelves under the changing tables. Nannies would also clean up toys and put them back in chests, return blankets or stuffed animals to cribs, or clean up messes kids had left on the high chairs when being fed. They also would change kids into different clothes and play babyish games with them. I began to almost admire (if I didn’t hate them so much) the nannies for their commitment to not only do their jobs, but to do them with so much pleasantness.

 

            I next started to study the room a little bit more. There was only the one door that I had been carried in and out of, and even if I could get to it without the nannies noticing, I couldn’t reach the knob since I was unable to stand. There were also many large windows that I was also unable to reach. I also looked at the ceiling and noticed that there were white lights that had been turned on. I also studied the variety of toys in the room, noticing blocks, stuffed animals, rattles, those little things with buttons that made sounds, toy cars, and even a yo-yo, among other things. Not only did the boys play with these toys with a lot of interest, the nannies would often play with them.

 

            I then noticed that not all of the kids were white like me and Johnny. There were some black kids, some Hispanic kids, and a few Asian ones too. But they all acted just the same, just like the babies they once were.

 

            As I continued to take all of this in, it became dark outside, and I knew that the day was ending. As I tried to relax on the blanket, I saw another nanny walk towards me. Feeling another sense of shame and embarrassment, I thought ‘What now’?

 

            As she walked over and picked me up, she revealed that it was time for another bottle. I was still tired and I only managed to weakly say “Please, no, that’s not what I want…”

 

            “But baby Cody needs his milky-wilky from his ba-ba to stay healthy!” she remarked with a smile. “Mommy hopes he’ll be a good boy and drink it like he knows he should!”

 

            As she sat down in a rocking chair with me spread across her lap, I decided to swallow my pride rather than get another one of those dreadful shocks. Feeling like a total pansy, I sucked on the bottle while the nanny rocked me back and forth. It actually wasn’t quite as bad as the first time, and since I was already tired, I just kind of relaxed and let the milk flow naturally down my throat. I began to think ‘This isn’t so bad…’

 

            ‘What the hell am I saying?!’ I thought as I caught myself. Here I was, my very first day, and I was already forgetting that I was 14, not some baby who needed bottles. Without thinking, I angrily swatted the bottle out of the nanny’s hand.

 

            This caught her off guard, and I used the chance to crawl away from the horrible woman. But she was too fast for me, and I felt a hand grab the back of the neck of my sleeper. As she lifted me and turned me around, I looked into her angry face as she said, “Well, it looks like Cody is not being a good baby after all. Since his shocks don’t seem to be teaching him a lesson, I think he needs another kind of punishment!”

 

            Scared of what this woman was going to do to me now, I violently struggled to escape from her grasp. But it was no use, and she proceeded to pull my chest down over her knee. As I felt her began to unbutton the back of my sleeper where my butt was, I heard her say, “Naughty Cody needs a spanking to teach him that he should drink all of his bottle like a good baby!”

 

            Realizing what she was about to do, for some reason I felt more embarrassed and angry than I had been up until this point. Maybe it was because my parents had never spanked me, and I thought that they were the only ones who had the right to do it. As the nanny began to un-tape my diaper, I began to struggle with all my strength and scream out at the top of my lungs.

 

            To my surprise my voice was strangely high pitched and I began to feel tears come out of my eyes. The fact that I was unable to move made me feel that much more helpless and the only thing I could think of to do was scream. To make matters worse, this had attracted the attention of the other kids and nannies, and they had all circled around us to watch me get spanked.

 

            I felt my naked butt sticking out, and before I knew it, I felt a painful slap across my butt-cheeks. The slaps continued, each one bringing a second of sharp pain while I continued to violently shriek. Tears continued to stream down my face and I felt my cheeks get hot. The pain wasn’t really that bad, but the embarrassment of knowing I was being punished, especially spanked like a two-year old, made the whole experience unbearable. To make things so much worse, some of the kids were pointing and giggling at me, and the nannies just muttered things like “The naughty baby should know better than to disobey mommy.”

 

            The spanking finally ceased, and because my ass still hurt a little, it felt kinda good to have the soft diaper taped back over it. I finally started to get over the spanking, so I stopped screaming and just softly whimpered. After the nanny refastened my sleeper, she sat me back up on her lap, looked at me and said, “Now did Cody learn his lesson?”

 

            While I still continued to softly sob, I nodded. She then smiled at me, bounced me on her lap a couple of times, pinched my cheek and said, “Now that’s a good baby! I think wittle Cody needs another nap right now!”

 

            I was still upset, so I didn’t really feel like objecting to it. I noticed that the other nannies were picking up all of the other kids in the room and carrying them out of the nursery. My nanny was the last one to leave carrying me over her shoulder, and she turned out the light as she left.

 

            As I continued to sob into her shoulder, she softly patted my back and said “It’s ok, Cody, you’re still a good baby.” This didn’t make me feel better, because I had just gone through the worst part of my stay here. I couldn’t believe that in one day I had gone from a badass thug kid who could whoop just about anyone’s ass to a whimpering little baby in diapers. But this spanking had been the worst; maybe it was just because I had never been spanked before, but I would have much rather been shocked for ten minutes than go through what I had just been through. And to make me feel even worse, I had just made myself look like even more of a baby by throwing a tantrum while I was being spanked. It was almost as if for that moment I had lost control of myself and I couldn’t stop myself from screaming and crying. I probably hadn’t cried since I was about 4 years old, but today it just seemed to keep pouring out.

 

            As the nanny carried me into another room with only cribs in it, I continued to cry softly. She once again laid me down in the crib without any resistance from me, strapped my wrists and ankles again, and tied the pacifier around my head. This stifled my crying a little, and after she tucked me in, the nanny kissed my forehead and said “There, there little Cody, everything will be all right. You just have sweet dreams now, honey.” As she left the room, to my great surprise, this actually made me feel better. As my crying calmed down, the comfort of the crib took over and I once again dozed off to sleep.

 

            As I slept, I had many dreams, most of which I don’t remember. However, I do remember the one that was probably the worst nightmare that I had ever had up to that point in my life.

 

            I dreamt that I was walking down one of the more dangerous streets in my old neighborhood. I was alone, and I bumped into two kids that I had never gotten along with, two kids whom me and my friends constantly fought with. The two kids saw me, and one pushed me and said, “Come on Luke, you fuckin’ bastard, what have you got?” Feeling pissed at him, I said, “All right then bitch, let’s settle this!” as I raised my fists.

 

            But then the two punks just busted out into laughter, and between his laughs, one of them said, “We would, but I can’t hit a kid in a…*snort*…diaper!”

 

            I then looked down at my body, and to my horror, I was wearing nothing but a disposable diaper with a Winnie the Pooh strip along the top of it. Completely embarrassed, I tried to cover it up with my hands with a look of fear, shame, and humiliation on my face.

 

            As the two kids continued to laugh and point at me, I heard the voice of a woman behind me. “Cody,” she said. “What are you doing fighting? You’re being a bad boy, and you have to be punished!”

 

            I turned around only to be face to face with the nanny who had spanked me. Before, I knew it, she sat down in a chair and pulled me over her lap. As I screamed in rage and embarrassment, she spanked my diapered butt while the two kids laughed even harder.

 

            As she finished and let me stand again, I looked down at my diaper and noticed that I was wetting it! As the pee continued to fill my diaper, one of the kids screamed with laughter and yelled, “Looks like ‘Cody’ really does need diapers, he’s pissing himself just like a little baby!”

 

            As I began to cry even more from shame and embarrassment, the nanny said, “It’s ok, wittle Cody, those two are big boys and you’re just a baby! It’s ok for you to go pee pee in your diaper, mommy’s here to change you!”

            

            As she walked towards me with a smile on her face, she had a container of baby powder in one hand and another diaper in the other. She inched closer and closer while I yelled “No! No! I don’t want a diaper change, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy…”

 

            I suddenly woke up, and to my surprise, sunlight was coming in through the window. It was morning. I remembered where I was, and even though I was still afraid and upset by the fact that I was in a crib, I was relieved that the dream was over and that it was only a dream.

 

            I then realized something that truly did scare me, though. There was a damp feeling around my crotch. Just like in my dream, I had involuntarily wet my diaper.

 

Part 5

 

            As sunlight poured through the window in this room, I felt even more ashamed that I had pissed in my diaper while I slept, and I began to become scared that I was already losing control of my bladder muscles. But before I could think about it more, I saw another nanny come in. Noticing that I was awake, she said, “Ok, little Cody, it’s time for you to get up! We have to start off today by getting you clean and then you can have some more fun with your friends.”

 

            Just like the other nanny had done before, this woman un-strapped my pacifier, re-pinned it, and then untied me from the crib. As she picked me up, she said. “Looks like someone has a wet didee! That’s ok, mommy will get baby all cleaned up and then he can get a nice clean one!” Feeling my cheeks turn red from the shame of having wet my diaper, I recalled my spanking from the previous night, so I decided to just go along with her. She put me on her hip and carried me out of the room.

 

            She continued to carry me down the hall, and then we entered a new room. I noticed that it was a bathroom, with light blue tile, sinks, some toilets (gasp!), and a few tables with padding, which I assumed were for diaper changes. I also noticed a bathtub that was the size of a typical hot tub.

 

            The nanny put me down on one of the tables and used a strap to tightly tie me down. She then began to run the water into the tub, feeling for the temperature first. She then came back over to me. She first undid the bottom of my sleeper, removed my wet diaper and disposed of it. She then took a baby-wipe from underneath a counter and began to clean my crotch again. I was of course humiliated, but I had realized at this point that resisting was pointless. I just had to lie there waiting for her to finish.

 

            Once I had been wiped, she un-strapped me and completely took off my sleeper. Once I was completely naked, she picked me up and carried me over to the tub, which was just about full. After she turned the water off, she gently lowered me into it.

 

            I was still wearing my collar; I assumed it was waterproof. The water was deep enough that it came up to about my neck. As I was lowered, I felt the water overtake my body; it was just the right temperature, and I actually didn’t mind the feeling of it. In fact, it was kind of nice.

            

            But I couldn’t enjoy it for long, because the nanny then grabbed a wash clothe and some soap. She proceeded to take one of my arms and began to wash and scrub it. My initial reaction was to pull away; I felt like I could clean myself. But she simply remarked, “No no, baby Cody, you don’t know how to get yourself clean, mommy has to clean you. We can’t have you crawling around in a filthy mess, can we? And if you won’t let mommy clean you, perhaps another shock will change your mind?”

 

            The fear of a shock made me once again swallow my pride and give in. However, once the nanny began to clean me, I found that it wasn’t so bad; it was better than being bottle-fed or changed, at least.

 

            She then had me stand up so that she could clean my shoulders, chest, and stomach. I resisted as she got to my dick, balls, and ass; but she just gave me a sharp slap on my ass, which scared me into complying. Once she had finished, she did my legs and feet.

 

            Finally, I sat back down and she poured water over my head. She scrubbed my face, and then took some baby shampoo and ran it through my hair. She smiled as she did this, telling me that my hair was cute. I just shot her a look of resentment as she poured some more water on my head.

 

            “All done!” she remarked as she pulled the plug. She then picked me up and put my soaking body down on a mat. She grabbed a towel and began drying my whole body, finishing with my hair. This wasn’t that bad, but as she carried me back over to the table, I remembered that I still wasn’t dressed, and that I would be put in another diaper.

 

            I just pouted as the nanny strapped me down and powdered me. She took another disposable diaper out, slid it underneath me and taped it on. She then slid a T-shirt over my head; it was white with puppy designs on it. She then grabbed a pair of overalls, slid my legs through them, and fastened them up over my shoulders. She finally put a pair of socks on my feet. I hated the stupid outfit almost as much as my thick diaper, and I wanted to hit her when she told me that I looked adorable.

 

            Calming myself down, I just relaxed as she un-strapped me and carried me out of the bathroom. We once again went to the nursery, and yet again I was left by myself on the carpeted floor of the nursery.

 

            As I once again relaxed down on my back, I tried to make my mind think of something positive. But the only thing I could think about was my horrible situation, the horrible spanking I had gotten, and my scary dream. Despite all of this, after I had just laid there for about half an hour, I began to get bored. As I looked around the room, I noticed some toy cars and some blocks nearby.

 

            I just looked at them for a few minutes, and even though I didn’t want to actively lower my dignity even more, my boredom got the best of me. I crawled over to the cars and picked one up.

 

            It was actually kind of interesting; I had always liked cars as a kid. I put it down on the carpet and rolled it; it went forward a few feet before stopping. I then grabbed another and did the same. Next I took two and found out which one went farther. Next I tried ramming two together. Before I knew it, I was imagining people inside the cars and I invented situations for the people to be in.

 

            As my mind continued to work, I took some blocks and made a few small structures and tunnels. I rolled the cars around the structures, pretending they were buildings. I shot the cars through the tunnels to see if I could do it without knocking them over. This was actually kind of fucking fun. These cars were surprisingly addictive, and I was kind of in a zone seeing all of the different things I could do with them…

 

            “Having fun?” said a familiar sarcastic voice from behind me.

 

            I jumped in surprise from this question, and then I quickly knocked over the little block buildings that I had made. Feeling embarrassed, I turned around to see Johnny giving me a sly smile. This time he was only wearing a blue and green striped T-shirt with his cloth diaper and plastic pants.

 

            “No! You see, I was…just…uh…” I began.

 

            But he put up a hand and said, “Kid, it’s all right. It’s like I told you, you get bored here fast. And hey, the toys here ain’t bad. I’m sure you remember playing with similar ones as a young child, am I right?”

 

            He was right, but I didn’t want to let him know it. “No, it wasn’t fun, I was just doing it to pass the time.”

 

            “Whatever you say,” he said, sounding like he didn’t believe me at all. “But even if you’re not enjoying it now, in time you will.”

 

            Still frustrated by the fact that I believed what he was saying was true, especially since I had started to have fun with the cars, I tried to change the subject. Remembering that I wanted to ask Johnny how in the hell this whole thing was legal, I decided to ask.

 

            “Hey Johnny, I was wondering, how is this whole program run? I mean, isn’t it illegal?”

 

            Johnny just laughed at my question and said, “My friend, not only is it legal, but it is government funded. Well, according to official, constitutional law, it may not be legal. But the U.S. government gets away with all kinds of crazy stuff. I don’t even want to know about all of the things they do that I don’t know about.

 

            “If you don’t believe me pal, think about it. This program was started ten years ago, I kid you not. And you’ve never heard about it, have you? And you don’t know anyone who has, do you? That, my friend, is how good the government is about keeping things hidden.

 

            “I guess they’re willing to try anything to straighten out the troubled youth of America. They’ve tried everything else, right? That silly ‘Say No to Drugs’ campaign, a fat lot of help that did. And almost everything else they’ve tried has failed. Why not give ‘Reconstruction’ a chance?

            

            “Besides, this gives the government a chance to test new technologies.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “That collar around your neck, for one,” he responded. “Government technology, that is. And who better to test it on than no-good little vermin like us, right?

 

            “But there are other technological advancements here as well. Take our pacifiers, for instance,” he said, taking his own pacifier and holding it up towards me. “Normally, if kids our age continued to suck pacifiers as frequently as we do, our teeth would be horribly messed up. But that doesn’t happen with these things. I don’t know how they work, but they actually make our teeth even stronger.”

 

            “No way,” I said. “No freakin’ way that’s possible.”

 

            “You mean to tell me you have no problem accepting that there is a collar around your neck that can sense when you say a naughty word, but a pacifier that won’t mess up your teeth is out of this world?”

 

            “Oh, yeah,” I said. “I guess you’re right.”

 

            “There are other things too. Our clothes and blankets keep us warm but don’t make us too hot, so we don’t sweat, especially at night. Plus if you notice, you don’t sweat in your diaper either.

 

            “On top of that, you may be wondering how teenage boys can survive on just baby-bottles and baby food. Well, that ain’t no normal milk you’ve been drinkin’. That stuff not only gives you the nutrients you need, but it fills you up too. You’ve been here a full day, with only a couple of bottles, and you don’t feel hungry, do you? Amazing, but true.

 

            “And there’s a method to this madness. They know how much food or milk they’ve given you, and they also know when your body will process it and you’ll become hungry again. You see, so far they’ve just given you bottles when they feel like it; for some reason they decide to be nice on the first few days. But soon they’ll wait for you to get hungry; believe me, they’ll know. And if you don’t cry, they’ll shock you until you do. By controlling the amount of milk or baby-food that you get, they’ll know when it’s time for you to be hungry, and they’ll know when to expect you to cry. This way, they can condition you to cry automatically whenever you get hungry.”

 

            “Wow, I didn’t even think about that, I haven’t even been hungry since I’ve been here…” I responded.

 

            “Yeah, well, soon they’ll time your feedings to make you hungry. Speaking of which, I’m famished, and I think I have a feeding right now. Care to join me?”

 

            “I’ll pass,” I said, not having the slightest desire to be fed again.

 

            “Ok, then,” he said. “Here I go.”

 

            With that, he once again burst into a fit of crying, making a high pitched squeal that sounded like it could have woken the dead. Within seconds, a nanny came over and picked Johnny up. She apparently could tell that it was his time to be fed, because I heard her say, “It’s ok, Johnny, mommy knows you’re hungry, and we have some yummy num-nums for you.”

 

            ‘Yummy num-nums?’ I thought. Could the woman be any more stupid?

 

            I didn’t get a chance to ponder it, because at that moment another nanny picked me up, held me up to her face and said, “And I think wittle Cody needs his num-nums too! He and Johnny can eat together!”

 

            Looks like I would be joining Johnny after all. As the nanny carrying me followed the one carrying Johnny (he was still crying, only not as hard), I once again tried to break free, but like before, it was no use. This was the last thing I wanted right now, but I couldn’t do anything about it as the two nannies carried us over to two high chairs that were next to a table.

 

            As Johnny’s nanny put him in his high chair, mine began to put me in mine. I tried to time it right so that I could escape while she was putting me in it, but she was too fast; she must have done it to resistant kids many times. She quickly sat me down and dropped this little table thing attached to the high chair down in front of me. This not only gave me a place to eat (not that I needed it, but I guess babies do), but more importantly to the nanny, it pinned my arms down, so all I could do was make a pointless struggle. As I grunted, shifted, and kicked my legs, the nanny just smiled at me, pinched my cheek, and said to Johnny’s nanny, “Cody is so cute, isn’t he? He’s being fussy and trying to get out of his high chair, but it’s time for his breakfast.”

 

            The nanny then tied something around my neck; I looked down and saw that I was now wearing a bib. This made me struggle even more, but there was nothing I could do about it.

 

            I looked over at Johnny, who had stopped crying. His arms weren’t pinned down, but he was wearing a bib and he was giggling. He then said in a babyish voice, “Mommy, me a big boy! Me feed me, me not need you to give me food with spoon!”

 

            Johnny’s nanny just smiled at him and said, “That’s right, Johnny! But your new friend Cody isn’t a big boy yet, he’s only a baby, and the other mommy has to spoon-feed him!”

 

            This of course pissed me off. Johnny didn’t help matters by looking at me and saying, “You a baby! But one day you be big wike me!”

 

            I just scowled at him while the two nannies brought out some baby food. Johnny’s nanny gave him this little bowl of cereal and milk (although it looked a little mushier than cereal). My nanny, on the other hand, had brought out two small jars of baby food. One looked like it had some kind of fruit, the other looked like carrots.

 

            After she opened the fruit jar, my nanny put some of it on a spoon, and began to move it towards my mouth. But I tightly closed my lips, shook my head and said “Un-uh!” (although it came out as “mmm-mmn!” since my lips were closed.

 

            The nanny sighed and said, “Oh Cody, why can’t you be a good boy like Johnny?”

 

            I looked over at Johnny and saw him holding a spoon like a little kid. He was making a bit of a mess, but he was managing to feed himself his cereal. At that moment, I felt a cold, sweet feeling in my mouth; my nanny had used the opportunity to shove the spoon into my mouth.

 

            It was disgusting; well, not really, now that I think about it. The fruit tasted pretty good; I think it was peaches. But when you’re force-fed something, it makes it taste twenty times worse.

 

            Because of this, I spit it right back out. But since I couldn’t do anything with my arms, it kind of dribbled down my chin and onto my bib and the little table in front of me.

 

            The nanny sighed again and said, “Cody, you’re making such a mess. Let’s try again.”

 

            Before I could resist, another spoonful had gone into my mouth. But I spit this out too, and the mess was even bigger. I guess that I probably did look like a real baby, what with my body in a high chair, a bib around my neck, and baby food all over my face and bib.

 

            Now the nanny began to get frustrated. In a tense voice she said, “All right then, mister, we’ll find a way to make you eat.”

 

            With that, she shocked me for three minutes. It had been a while since I had received one, and I had forgotten how horrible the pain was. This was even worse because my arms were pinned down.

 

            After the shock, my head just kind of limply leaned forward. The nanny then lifted my head up, and with a satisfied smile, used her other hand to feed me another spoonful.

 

            Even though I was too weak to do much, I probably could have spit that out too. But before I did, the nanny gave me an angry look and said, “Now you swallow that, or you’ll get another shock. And if that’s not enough, maybe you need to be spanked again!”

 

            This straightened me out. As much as I didn’t want to, I swallowed the peaches in my mouth. As she continued to feed me the rest, I didn’t bother to fight it. The carrots were a little nastier, but I ate them without resistance as well.

 

            By this point Johnny had finished as well. After the nanny used my bib to wipe my face clean, she lifted the table thingy and picked me up. The two nannies picked us back up and carried us to where we were before. Once they were gone, Johnny spoke to me.

 

            “You made that harder than it had to be, you know.”

 

            “Damn it!” I said, and got another shock.

 

            “And you were doing so well on your cursing, too.”

 

            “Shut up!” I said, but this also gave me a shock. Apparently it wasn’t just curse words that made my collar shock me.

 

            After I recovered, I said, “Anyway, darn it, I can’t stand this. What else am I supposed to do?”

 

            “Just relax, man. I think I’m beginning to figure you out. Now did I hear your nanny right? Did she say ‘spank you AGAIN’?”

 

            Remembering my spanking with a shot of shame, I mumbled, “Yeah, that’s right. Yesterday I got spanked.”

 

            But Johnny just looked at me in awe. “Wow, man, that’s amazing! This is really ground-breaking!”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “My friend, I don’t think I have EVER seen a kid get spanked on their first day. Do you realize, my friend, what that means? You are the fastest kid to reach the first level of punishment!”

 

            Not really seeing what was so great about this, I said, “So what?”

 

            “Cody, think about it. I told you that if the shocking doesn’t seem to work, the nannies will resort to levels of punishment. Spanking is the first. You must have really done something to get under her skin to make her decide to spank you rather than shock you. I heard that a kid had been spanked yesterday, but I just assumed it had been one of the already decoded kids. You see, they use spanking as a punishment for decoding, but they also just do it to decoded kids to discipline them. After all, even babies aren’t perfect and need to be kept in line. But I would have never thought it was you! First day, wow…”

 

            He then paused, grinned at me and said, “From what I hear you threw quite a tantrum, too.”

 

            “Fuck you!” I yelled and received a shock. After I recovered, I said, “It’s not funny!”

 

            “But this is my point, my friend. It’s starting to make sense to me.”

 

            “What is?” I asked.

 

            “I think I’ve figured out your problem. It’s pride. Being here is the worst punishment imaginable for you. I think you’d rather get shot than have a diaper put on you. You’re so used to physical pain and ‘being a man’ and all, but when you’re treated like a baby, you can’t stand it!

 

            “That’s why you cried on your first day; your pride had been hurt beyond anything you had ever experienced. And that’s why you not only managed to get spanked on your first day, but you threw a wild tantrum when it happened. And even after a full day here, you’re still fighting every chance you get.”

 

            “Yeah, so what?” I asked.

 

            “It’s just interesting, that’s all,” he replied. “I’ve seen ones like you, although you seem to be different. First day spanking, wow…”

 

            We were both silent for about a minute. I then remembered that Johnny didn’t have to be spoon-fed; he got to eat by himself.

 

            “Hey, why didn’t you have to be spoon-fed? I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I had been allowed to feed myself!”

 

            Johnny then said, “Well, because I’ve earned it. If you noticed, I could also talk baby talk, unlike the newly decoded kids here. I can do quite a few things, actually; I can walk, play active games, and drink from a sippy cup, among other things. I would walk around instead of crawl, but it tends to upset the other kids.”

 

            “Wait, you’re losing me,” I said.

 

            “Ok, let me explain. I told you about the decoding process, right? You start with a bad kid, turn him into a helpless baby. But if the reconstruction process stopped there, it would be kinda pointless, right? Not much good to have a bunch of big ol’ babies everywhere.

 

            “After they decode you, they begin to re-teach you everything that at one time you learned. It’s kind of weird because they don’t do it in the same order as they would a real baby, exactly.

 

            “You see, a decoded kid gets bottle-fed and spoon-fed. He wears diapers and baby clothes, sleeps in a crib for about sixteen hours a day, can only crawl, has to suck a pacifier often, and gets much joy from simple things like teddy bears and blankets. He can’t really understand stories or play games, and the simplest toys amuse him. He can only speak gibberish, and he’ll probably never remember anything from this point in the process.

 

            “You probably don’t know anything about real babies, but this isn’t exactly a stage in a real baby’s life. Kids can be off the bottle before they learn to crawl, and kids that can talk don’t need sixteen hours of sleep a day. Plus, they’re often encouraged to crawl rather than be carried everywhere like we are. Nonetheless, this is the way that kids start out once they are fully decoded.

 

            “When this program first started, they didn’t really know what they were doing. They first tried to decode kids to be infants; the kids pretty much couldn’t do anything. Problem is, the collars shocked the kids if they did anything but roll over; this actually drove a few kids mentally insane. Their parents got a refund, but since this was a risk in the contract, the parents couldn’t do anything about it legally. The developers decided they would bring the kids back to crawling but that’s as far as they went physically.

 

            “Anyway, they’ve refined their process, and this is the way a decoded kid starts. From there, they begin to help the kid make progress and grow, both mentally and physically, although it’s not really in the same order as real babies. They upgrade kids to sippy cups and let them feed themselves rather than be spoon-fed. While this is happening, they also start encouraging kids to crawl faster, begin to form words, and actively listen to stories. Soon after, they begin to play with more complex toys. They limit the amount that the kids sleep. They try to get kids not to cry as much, but rather to ask when they’re hungry or wet. In addition, they teach the kids to walk and play more active games. I, for instance, have been through all of these phases.”

 

            “But you never were decoded, were you?” I asked.

 

            “Well, not really, but I still had to go through these phases.”

 

            “You’re confusing me,” I said.

 

            “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you at some point. I am a very unique case.

 

            “Anyway, it’s actually quite funny to watch the kids ‘grow up’. As kids progress, they start to gain confidence, and they begin to see themselves as ‘big boys’ rather than the newly decoded ‘babies’. That’s why I made that little comment while we were being fed; it’s what the nannies expect to hear.

 

            “I’m pretty far along the process. I’ve done all of this, plus I normally don’t sleep in a crib. Once I’m completely out of the crib, the last thing to do here is potty-train me. They do that last; I think they did a study that kids who are potty-trained earlier are more likely to become delinquents. Anyway, once that happens, it’ll be time for me to move on.”

 

            “Move on to where?” I asked.

 

            “Well, it takes about three years typically for a kid to go from being a decoded baby to a potty-trained kid. Once that’s done, the kids leave this place and go to a new one. From there they continue to be re-taught skills that kids have to learn; you know, they learn to read, play sports, all the sort of stuff you learn when you’re a kid. They continue to build you up more and more until you’re basically an 18 year old. You have to move around about every time you’re trained five years worth of new stuff.

 

            “What’s really smart about the program is that it doesn’t take as long; it won’t take 18 years to go from being a newly decoded baby to someone who’s experienced everything an 18 year old has. It only takes about six years to go from a kid who’s been potty-trained to an 18 year old. This works because most of the stuff the kids never truly forgot. When you’re decoded, the teenage parts of you are just hidden deep down inside of you; they’re not gone. So when they re-teach it to you, it just has to be dug out.

 

            “It also goes faster because these are all residential places. Kids are constantly in an atmosphere where they’re learning new school material, playing sports, or developing socially.

 

            “But what’s really genius about the system is the fact that they don’t just re-train kids in any old way. Before the program started, they did some studies, and they found that kids that tend to be thugs like us when they become teenagers typically lacked two important things growing up; affection and discipline.

 

            “If you notice, even at this early stage, the nannies are very loving, yet strict. They are not afraid to spank kids to teach them discipline from this early point. But they also constantly let the kids know they are loved.

 

            “All of this may sound crazy, but my friend, it apparently works. This program got started up ten years ago, so once they got the kinks out of the system, they began to put kids through the process. Since it takes about nine years for a decoded kid to become an 18 year old, a few kids have been through the whole system. And from what I hear, not only are they not delinquents any more, but they are very happy and successful citizens.”

 

            “I still don’t believe this stupid system works,” I said. “Hey, wait a sec, you still suck a pacifier!”

 

            “Oh yeah, well, you see, funnily enough, even when kids are potty-trained and ready to move on and leave this place, they still suck pacifiers. They do try to get kids off of pacifiers when they’re about the age of a five year old, but until then, they say pacifiers are very therapeutic.

 

            “The kids also are still very attached to their teddy bears or blankies when they leave here. You see, most kids that become delinquent teenagers were highly discouraged from having stuffed animals or blankets when they were younger. The developers of this program believe that kids should feel it’s ok to still have these things, and that they’ll get tired of them when they are ready. This way, the kids get to feel the love and affection that they missed out on growing up. Plus, they let kids know it’s ok to cry; they make sure the kids aren’t spoiled and don’t whine for over little things, but they encourage kids to cry when they’re truly upset about something”

 

            When Johnny told me this, believe it or not, it really hit me as true. I remembered back to when I was really little, probably about three years old. I had a teddy bear that I really liked, and I carried it around everywhere with me. But my dad told me that only wussies and sissies had teddy bears or blankies, and he took it away from me. I had cried, but my dad just told me to stop being a baby about it. After a while I forgot about it and moved on. But now that I thought about it, ever since then, I hadn’t cried and I’ve had a strong desire to be tough and not be a wussy. Maybe Johnny was on to something; maybe I did have a lot of pride that was built into me.

 

            Johnny then decided to tell me about some thing about babies in general. He told me the difference between cloth and disposable diapers, and he explained what plastic pants were and why they were necessary for cloth diapers. I learned what a onesie and a footed sleeper were, and he told me about other baby clothing too.

 

            As Johnny and I talked, I felt continued pressure in my stomach. In the middle of our conversation, I had realized that I needed to take a shit. I had tried to ignore it and just hold it up until this point, but it had just gotten harder and harder. Not only was I extremely embarrassed to shit myself, I really didn’t want to do it in front of Johnny. But it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t help it. As Johnny was describing the different ways the nannies would hold or carry the kids, I tried to push it out without letting Johnny know. It was very difficult, but after a few minutes, I felt a turd come out of my butt and into my diaper.

 

            It was horrible and disgusting. My diaper pushed the shit up against my ass, and I could feel it smearing all over. It became worse since my ass was against the floor, and since I didn’t want to attract Johnny’s attention, I just sat there and tried to shift a little bit, which only made it smear against my ass even more.

 

            Johnny hadn’t noticed, however and he just continued to talk. However, we were soon interrupted by a new kid who just crawled over. He was wearing a light blue onesie with bunnies on it, and I noticed that etched across his onesie was the name “Baby Ronnie”. He had curly brown hair and looked to be about 12 in real life.

 

            “Hi Johnny!” he said as he excitedly waved to Johnny. He then looked over at me, looked back at Johnny and asked, “Who dat?”

 

            Surprisingly Johnny answered him back in baby talk. “Hi Wonnie. Dis Cody. He a baby, not big boys wike us.”

 

            As the two of them said this, I began to smell the mess in my diaper. It was really bad, worse than my farts, which could kill plants by themselves.

 

            Ronnie then looked at me and said, “Oh. Hi wittle baby. You not big wike me.”

 

            I didn’t like this kid, what he said embarrassed me a little , and he was starting to piss me off. But before I could think of anything to say to him, I saw him sniff for a big, and he truly pissed me off and embarrassed me by smiling at me and saying,

 

            “You smell wike poop. You go poopy in your diapy!”

 

            I felt my cheeks go red as I looked at Johnny. He just smiled and said, “You wight, Wonnie! Cody make poopy!”

 

            As I just looked at the two of them in shock, Ronnie said, “You need a new diapa. You poopy. Why you not cwying?”

 

            Johnny then said, “Maybe he not know how.”

 

            Ronnie just smiled and said, “That otay. Me get nanny!”

 

            Before I could tell him “no”, Ronnie turned and yelled, “WITTLE BABY CODY MAKE BIG POOPY! HE SMELL WIKE POOP! HE NEED NEW DIAPY!”

 

            I heard a few of the kids in the room giggle at this, and a couple of them were even pointing at me. I was about to jump on the stupid kid and punch him, but before I could a nanny was walking over towards me.

 

            She picked me up and said, “Whoo, you’re right Ronnie, we have a messy baby right here, don’t we? Thank you for helping the baby out, Ronnie, that was very nice of you. Especially since he didn’t CRY like he should,” she added, giving me a sharp look.

 

            Still embarrassed, I didn’t say anything as Ronnie held his nose and said, “Mommy, change da smelly baby. He smell wike poop!”

 

            As the other kids continued to laugh, I felt like crawling up inside a cave and dying. Hiding my face in the nanny’s shoulder, I began to cry again.

 

            “Yes, he does,” she replied. She then looked at me and said in a sweet voice, “It’s ok, Cody. Did wittle Cody-wody make a stinky-winky? Mommy will change baby Cody into a new diaper, then he’ll stop crying.”

 

            I still had my head buried in her shoulder as she carried me over to a changing table. I was still crying in embarrassment as she strapped me down. The nanny then said, “It’s ok, Cody. Here,” she said as she put my pacifier in my mouth. “That should calm you down.”

 

            I didn’t want to make her mad, so I just sucked on the pacifier, which turned my cries into soft whimpers. She undid my overalls and pulled down my pants. I probably would have tried to fight her, but to tell the truth, I wanted to get out of my shit-filled diaper as soon as possible. As she un-taped my diaper, the smell of it became stronger; it really was quite nasty. To make things worse, I could tell that a lot of it was still stuck against my skin.

 

            This of course prompted the nanny to once again go, “Whoo, you sure did make a big poopy, didn’t you Cody?” I was once again felt embarrassed, but didn’t have the energy or effort to do anything about it. I just tried to get my mind on something else as I sucked my pacifier.

 

            The nanny got out some baby wipes and began to clean all of the shit off of me. Despite the coldness of the wipes, I had to admit that I was glad to get all of the shit off of me. As she worked, the nanny cooed to me and talked baby talk, apparently trying to cheer me up. I did calm down, but not because of what she said. After cleaning my front, she lifted my legs up and cleaned my whole ass, including my crack. Once she was done, she once again powdered me, and then took out a new diaper and fastened it around my waist. Before she put my overalls back on, she rubbed my stomach and then chucked my chin. Finally, she refastened my overalls, un-strapped me, picked me up again, smiled at me, and said, “Now Cody is all fresh and clean in a new diaper!”

 

            I was still sucking my pacifier, but I had stopped crying. The nanny carried me back over to where Johnny was, and thankfully, Ronnie had left.

 

            As she sat me down and left, I spit the pacifier out and just gave Johnny a look of anger.

 

            “Why did you go along with that stupid kid?!” I asked.

 

            “Calm down, buddy,” he said. “There’s no way I’m gonna blow my cover by talking normal in front of the kids who can talk. And I just acted like any two year old would.”

 

            “Whatever,” I said, still feeling embarrassed about the whole thing.

 

            “You know,” Johnny began. “You take things to seriously, Cody. You’d be much happier if you didn’t act like being treated like a baby was such a big deal.”

 

            “It is a big deal!” I said. “I’m fourteen, and it’s completely humiliating to be degraded and treated just like I was two! I’m not a baby anymore!”

 

            “You think I don’t know how humiliating it is?” he asked. “Come on, I have seen many, many thug like kids come through here, and every single one is very embarrassed. But you’re just making things harder on yourself by letting it get to you.”

 

            “So what am I supposed to do?” I asked. “Just give up and let them make me a baby again?”

 

            “I don’t care what you do,” he said. “But if you don’t let the whole thing get to you, you can still fight the system. In fact, the kids who resist the decoding process for the longest are the ones who stay calm and keep a cool head about all of this. They can think more clearly. By panicking and throwing fits, you’re just making things worse for yourself, and you will be more and more enticed to give in and accept you baby role.”

 

            I guessed that this made sense, but I still had a hard time with it. Nonetheless, I resolved to try to take Johnny’s advice and try to relax about the whole thing. That would probably be the only way I could figure out how to escape this place.

 

            I then thought about something. Johnny and I had been having these long conversations, but the nannies had never interrupted us, and they apparently had no idea that Johnny was faking and putting up a baby act.

 

            “Johnny, how have we been able to get away with these conversations without the nannies finding out?”

 

            “That’s a good question. Well, you see, when this program first started, the nannies were a lot stricter. They kept a very tight eye on all of the kids, making sure that they never talked to each other. Well, except at night. If you notice, the nannies just leave the kids alone in their cribs at night. Most of the nannies go home every evening, since they can just strap down kids into the cribs. But over the years the nannies have gotten more lax about their jobs.

 

            “Realizing that as soon as kids were decoded they could only speak gibberish, they stopped keeping a close watch on the kids while they played in the nursery. Unless they notice two kids fighting or one starts to cry, they just think we’re talking to each other in baby-talk. I have to keep my eye out for nannies, but they just think I’m talking to you in baby-talk right now, since that’s all I speak whenever I’m around them. There have been a few close calls, but as far as I know, they just think I’m decoded like all the rest of them.

 

            “And that’s how I’ve been able to pick up all of the information I know. The nannies constantly talk to each other about everything. Often, while they’re changing diapers or rocking kids to sleep, they’ll have conversations with each other. They don’t care since they know that the decoded kids have no idea what they’re talking about. However, I can understand everything they say, and over the years, I’ve picked up on all kinds of things, such as how this program works and all of the details about it. And that’s how I heard about you getting spanked; I didn’t know it was you, but I heard two of the nannies remarking how a kid had gotten spanked and thrown a huge tantrum over it.

 

            “So how have you been able to keep the nannies tricked for all this time?”

 

            “I’ll tell you later, kid,” he said. “When I think you’re ready, I’ll tell you all about my past here and how I’ve been able to keep my mind while everyone else has become babies.”

 

            I was frustrated because he wouldn’t tell me how he had fought the system, but I didn’t decide to pursue the subject. Johnny was apparently tired of talking too, because he then said, “Well, kid, I think that’s enough for today. My advice to you is to just chill out and keep a clear head about all of this.

 

            “Oh yeah, and one more thing. I suggest you only speak gibberish around the nannies. If they keep hearing you talk English, they’ll eventually program your collar to shock you when ever you say any real word, not just curse words. But if you just act like you can only speak gibberish, they won’t bother to switch your collar. If nothing else, by fooling them you’ll give me someone to talk to.”

 

            With that he stood up and walked over to a nanny. After saying a few words to her (which I’m sure were in baby-talk), she grabbed him by the wrist and calmly led him out of the room.

 

Part 6

 

            Once Johnny had left, I yet again noticed that I had to piss. I painfully realized that there was no use in holding it, so I reluctantly decided to just wet my diaper. It still took me a little while to get it out, but once again I pissed myself, feeling the warm liquid up against my body inside the diaper. As much as I hated it, I decided that I would just deal with it until a nanny came over to change me.

 

            This ended up happening sooner rather than later, because after about ten minutes, one of the nannies came over, picked me up and said, “Ok, little Cody, it’s time for your nap…”

 

            She then paused for a second and asked, “Now Cody, are you wet?”

 

            I don’t know why the stupid woman asked; she obviously already knew the truth. But it’s just like when your parents already know you’ve done something wrong but like idiots they ask anyway.

 

            I didn’t answer her, since I didn’t want to tell her that I had pissed myself. She didn’t care, anyway; she just continued on. “Cody, you know that when you wet your diaper, you need to cry to let mommy know. That way she can change you into a nice, clean diaper! So mommy won’t change you until you cry.”

 

            With that, she put me back down on the floor, crossed her arms and waited while she stared at me.

            

            I wasn’t going to lower my dignity or give the stupid bitch the pleasure of seeing me cry. I just sat there and stared at her with anger. After about thirty seconds, she said, “Cody, you know what happens when you be a bad baby. Now you cry right now or you will be punished.”

 

            Maybe I had already forgotten what it was like to be shocked or spanked, but either way, this threat didn’t scare me. I just sat there and continued to look up at her, not moving at all.

 

            After I refused to cry, the nanny once again touched her wrist and gave me a shock. It was only thirty seconds; this was enough to make me yell in pain and suffer agony, but not long enough to weaken my body.

 

            When it was over, she looked at me and said, “Well?”

 

            Even though the pain had been ungodly, my pride was still intact. Feeling even more angry at her, I still remained silent.

 

            She looked angry, and again she shocked me. She let it go for about two minutes, which was pure hell (especially on top of the earlier shock). It had hurt so much that there were tears in my eyes, and when it was over, my body was too weak to move.

 

            Once I had regained my strength, she once again looked at me expectedly (apparently my tears didn’t constitute crying). As much as I dreaded being tortured again, I still refused to cry; I don’t know why, but I got pleasure out of rebelling against her, even if it meant suffering so badly. Besides, making myself cry would be voluntarily acting like a baby, which I had absolutely no desire to do.

 

            She tried one more time, this time shocking me for about four minutes. But despite the horrible pain and weakness of my muscles, I once again defied her and stayed quiet. I almost felt like I was testing her.

 

            Realizing that the shocking wasn’t working, the nanny then said, “Fine. If you won’t cooperate, then we will have to punish you another way.”

 

            She quickly grabbed me and thrust me over her knee like the other nanny had the day before. While holding me in place with one hand, I felt her use her other one to unfasten the straps of my overalls and pull my pants down.

 

            I begin to feel my cheeks redden as I felt the air on my thighs, since only my diaper was showing now. I was filled with humiliation again, and as panic began to overtake me, I decided I would much rather cry than get another spanking (I would be degraded either way, and crying would be less painful and embarrassing).

 

            I then said, “Ok, ok, I’ll cry, please don’t spank me!”

 

            But the nanny proceeded to un-tape my diaper. As she did so, she said to me, “Now that’s more like it. But to make sure you learn your lesson, you’re going to get spanked before that.”

 

            As I became even more panicked, I tried to struggle and escape from the nanny. But she firmly held me in place, and I felt my naked ass being exposed. To make matters that much worse, I heard the nanny yell, “Everyone, listen up! Cody has been a bad baby, and he’s going to be spanked!”

 

            I could see kids all around me stop whatever they were doing and crawl over with smiles on their faces. Apparently they found it funny whenever a kid got spanked, especially a really bad one like me.

 

            As I felt the slaps come across my ass, I began to cry in embarrassment. I was able to keep myself from screaming and making a fit like the last time, but I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I felt even worse when I heard the laughter of the other kids.

 

            After about ten slaps, the nanny refastened my diaper and put my overalls back on. The other kids kept watching, however, as the nanny placed me on the floor and waited.

 

            I was still softly crying, and I had hoped this would be enough to get me changed. But the nanny kept looking at and continued to wait. As much as I didn’t want to, I let out a soft whimper, hoping this would be enough.

 

            As the other kids continued to giggle, the nanny looked at me and said, “That’s not a very big cry for such a big baby! I think you can be louder than that.”

 

            Feeling even worse, I just wanted the whole thing to be over, so I made myself let out a high pitched howl. Once I started, I decided to keep going, since it would be hard to start again. This seemed to satisfy the nanny, who then picked me up and began to pat my back to comfort me.

 

            The other kids lost interest at this, so they went back to what they were doing. I decided to continue to cry to make sure I didn’t get punished again, and I didn’t stop until the nanny had carried me over to a changing table and strapped me down. It was actually the nanny who made me stop crying, because while my eyes were shut and my mouth was wide open I felt her stuff my pacifier into my mouth, which muffled my yells. I took this as a sign that I could stop, but I was still recovering from the whole situation, so I softly whimpered as my tear kept coming slowly. I just tried not to watch as I felt the nanny remove my wet diaper, wipe me, powder me, and put a new disposable on me. By the time she was done, I had stopped crying, though I still had the pacifier in my mouth. Not feeling a need to fight anymore, I didn’t do anything as she dressed me again, picked me up and carried me out of the nursery. I was once again taken to another room and strapped down in a crib for a nap. You would think that I would have been so worn out that I would have gone right to sleep. But I wasn’t used to sixteen hours of sleep a day, and I laid there awake for about an hour and a half, thinking about how much I hated being here and being frustrated about my helplessness.

 

            I finally remembered Johnny’s advice about not letting everything get to me so much. As hard as it was, I made myself calm down and stop thinking about all of my baby treatment. This relaxed me, and within minutes, I was asleep.

 

            After I slept for a few hours, I was woken up by a nanny (thankfully I woke up dry). Seeing no point in fighting, especially since I was still tired, I just let her take me back to the nursery with no resistance. Once there, I simply began to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Johnny was right; given my situation and the likeliness that it would not change for a long time, there really was no point in getting all worked up about everything. I decided that it would be best for me to just relax and refuse to get bothered by my whole baby treatment.

 

            Thankfully, it wasn’t too hard to keep this attitude up. Over the next few days, I managed to stay calm while the nannies continued to baby me. I guess part of the reason I was able to keep my composure was that I was over the shock of it all, and even though I had been there less than a week, I was starting to get used to it. You may be surprised to hear it, but after you’ve wet a diaper a few times, you don’t really feel embarrassed about it anymore, especially since the nannies and the other kids thought it was completely normal.

 

            And let’s face it, I had already been through every thing that they had thrown at me; over the next few days I had a basic schedule down; it boiled down to being given a bath (although they also did things to groom me, such as brush my teeth and my hair), being bottle-fed or spoon fed, having to suck a pacifier while I took naps, and having my wet or dirty diapers changed. I had to swallow my pride, but I managed to get through it without giving it much of a second thought. In fact, I started to get used to it, and it none of it was really that big of a deal.

 

            I worried a little that this may lead to me being decoded, but since I still had my normal mind (and the desire not to be turned into a baby), I didn’t worry too much.

 

            Although not everything was easy. Firstly, whenever I had to take a shit, it came out in a disgusting new form. The first few time it was just like it had always been, somewhat solid; I guess this was my normal food. But a few days of just milk and baby food, my shit started coming out in a kind of paste-like form, almost like peanut butter. I know it sounds very nasty, but at least you didn’t have to deal with it squishing up against your ass in a diaper, and I had to.

 

            I also had to make myself cry whenever I was hungry or needed to be changed. I hated it, but since it was what the nannies expected, it wasn’t really embarrassing anymore, just a little stupid. Besides, at least this way I avoided shocks and spankings.

 

            I also took Johnny’s advice and refrained from talking around the nannies. I even forced myself to make some babyish gurgles. This seemed to satisfy the nannies, and I began to notice that the more I cooperated and acted like a baby, the nicer they were to me. And this way I could make them think that I was being decoded just like normal.

 

            I didn’t see Johnny over the next few days; I didn’t know where he was, but he was never in the nursery with me, I even searched for him a few times. Even though I often got desires to talk with him, I felt confident in my abilities to stay calm and fool the nannies to a degree.

 

            The more I thought about it, the more I realized how lucky that I had actually had Johnny to talk to me and give me the advice about staying calm. If I hadn’t ever talked to him, I would have probably gone insane and just given in to the baby treatment.

 

            Anyway, there was one thing worse than my shit, my crying, my lack of talking, and Johnny’s absence, and that was the boredom. You have no idea how frustrating it was not to be able to do anything fun for days at a time. Having no other option, I once again resorted to playing with the cars on a few occasions. The cars and the blocks were really the only toys that were remotely interesting to me (though I will admit that I tried many different toys, that’s how desperate I was).

 

            I also tried listening to some of the stories. The nannies wouldn’t let me read them myself, so I had to listen like every one else. Yeah, they were stupid and not really entertaining, but they weren’t exactly boring either, and they helped to pass the time.

 

            Anyway, after about a week (it was damn hard to keep track of time), something horrible happened; I wet my diaper without even trying to. I really hated this; I had trusted Johnny’s prediction and was alarmed that I was already losing control.

 

            But here’s the worst part; once I realized I was wet, without thinking, I automatically let out a whine, just like a baby. After about two seconds I realized what I was doing and clapped my hands over my mouth. I couldn’t believe it; without meaning to, I had whined just like a stupid baby because I had a wet diaper.

 

            My cry still managed to attract a nanny over, and she proceeded to take me over to a changing table to change my diaper. This had actually been the fourth time that day that I needed a diaper change, and while I was being changed, the nanny remarked with a smile, “Wow, Cody, you sure go through a lot of diapers! You know, I think we had better switch you over to cloth. Besides, you’re such a heavy wetter!”

 

            I was pissed and embarrassed by these remarks, and I didn’t have the slightest desire to start wearing cloth diapers. But I had been doing such a good job at keeping calm and making the nannies happy that I just accepted the predicament.

 

            Once I was wiped and powdered, the nanny took out a white cloth diaper, folded it in a certain way, and put it under my ass. She pulled it tightly through my legs and over my waist, and she held two large safety pins (diaper pins, I guessed), between her lips while she did so. She then held the diaper in place on my right side while she took one of the pins and fastened the diaper around my leg. She proceeded to do the same on the left side.

 

            Afterwards, she took a pair of white plastic pants out, and she buttoned them over my diaper as well. She didn’t bother to put any more clothes on me; I had already been wearing a T-shirt.

 

            Once I was back down on the floor, I noticed how weird the cloth diaper felt. It was definitely thicker than the disposables had been, and unlike them, it had no give; I definitely felt like there was two inches between my ass and the ground.

 

            And the plastic pants! I felt the outside of them; it was smooth, soft, and unlike anything I had ever worn before. On top of that, they made a crinkling sound every time I moved. I was sort of mystified by the weird feeling of my new diaper.

 

            Fed up with the toys and the stories, I simply just sat there and drifted away in my thoughts. As I sat there, a new thought entered my mind. I began to think about how I never talked in front of the nannies, and how I had stopped fighting them. I thought that they probably thought that I was giving in to the decoding process, and that I would soon become a complete baby.

 

            I decided that I would use this against them. I was really starting to get sick of this place, and I didn’t know how much more I could take. So I decided that the next day I would try to escape.

 

            You’d think I would have given it a lot more thought, but I generally believed that the nannies would be caught off guard if I tried to make a break for it and that I would have the element of surprise. So, I basically decided that the next time they would take me out of the nursery to put me down for a nap, they wouldn’t be holding me as tight, and I would get escape their grasp and crawl away, hopefully reaching the door that led to the outside.

 

            Deciding that this was a good plan, I decided that I would try it the next day. In the mean time, I had shit my diaper again, and I needed a change. The cloth diapers were even weirder when I pissed or shit in them, and they didn’t absorb nearly as much as the disposables. This was annoying, but at the moment, I didn’t care.

 

            After I was changed, the nanny put me back in a crib for the night. To my surprise, I saw Johnny in the room where she had taken me, although he was sound asleep, his pacifier in his smiling mouth.

 

            After I was tied down, I was left to go to sleep. But I had trouble sleeping. And this brings me back to the spot where I originally started to tell you this story.

 

            I guess the cloth diaper was one reason why I had trouble sleeping, but I think it was mainly because I was nervous about my escape plan. Nonetheless, I eventually became to tired to stay awake any longer, and I drifted off to sleep.

 

            That night, I dreamt again. In this dream, I met this really hot girl who looked like she was about sixteen. She invited me to an apartment, claiming that it was her brother’s. She told me he was out of town and that we had the whole place to ourselves. I eagerly accepted her offer.

 

            After we chilled out for a bit in the living room, she invited me back into her brother’s bedroom. I was excited because I knew that this totally hot chick wanted to have sex with me!

 

            Once we got back there, she took off all of her clothes except for her bra and her panties. In a sexy voice she said, “Ok, baby, time for you to get undressed too.”

 

            As I felt myself get hard, began to take off all of my clothes. Once I was naked, she walked over, gave me a kiss on the lips and began to massage my shoulders.

 

            “So, are you a real man?” she asked me.

 

            “Oh hell yeah,” I said. “I’m all the man you can handle.”

 

            With that, I grabbed her and threw her onto the bed. I immediately jumped on top of her and began to fuck her.

 

            Or, at least, I tried to. As soon as I jumped onto the bed, she rolled out of the way. I landed, and then rolled over on to my back, only to see her standing there with an angry look.

 

            “You pig!” she yelled. “You’re not a man, a real man knows how to respect a lady! You’re just a selfish, spoiled little baby! And now, I’m gonna treat you like one!”

 

            “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, trying to get up. It was then I realized that I was somehow attached to the bed, and I couldn’t get up.

 

            When I looked back at the girl, she had an evil grin on her face, and I saw that she had an unfolded cloth diaper in her hands. As I violently struggled and yelled and pleaded with her to stop, she grabbed my legs and powdered my ass with baby powder that she had somehow obtained. She talked baby talk to me while she pinned the cloth diaper on me with a HUGE diaper pin. As I lay there crying, she called in her brother and a bunch of other guys and girls who all pointed at me, laughed, and cooed me just like I was a baby. As I begged them all to stop, they forced me to drink a baby bottle, which caused me to immediately wet my diaper.

 

            As they all laughed and commented about how I was a wet baby, I woke up and found myself back in my crib. As soon as I got over the dream, I began to ponder my escape plan for the day.

 

            I continued to think about what I was going to do as a nanny came in, gave me a bath and groomed me, and then took be back to the nursery. Once she was gone, I figured out what I would do; once it was time for my next nap, as a nanny carried me down the hall, I would give her a good, solid punch to the stomach. Since I knew I could hit hard considering how many kids I had beat up in the past, I figured this would be a good way to stop her for a period of time. Besides, since I had been so good the past few days, she’d never see it coming. From there, I’d quickly crawl down the hall and find the main door. Surely I could reach the handle, even if I had trouble standing, and I could open the door and make it outside. From there I could hide somewhere until I lost them. I’d then figure out a way to remove my collar and make a break for it.

 

            I wasn’t exactly sure what I would do once I had escaped, but I didn’t care; all I wanted was to get out of this place.

 

            I spent the next few hours practicing crawling, knowing I’d have to crawl very quickly. Even though it was annoying putting up with getting changed and fed again, I dealt with it.

 

            Then the moment to strike came. A nanny picked me up and told me in a nice voice that it was time for my nap. She then carried me out of the nursery.

 

            Turns out I would be in even more luck than I had thought. The nanny ended up carrying me to a…uh, “crib room” I guess you could call it. Anyway, she carried me to a crib room that was close to the main door! As we got closer and closer, the door was only about twenty feet away.

 

            As she turned to carry me to the crib room, I took the opportunity to attack. She was holding me in her arms, so I just quickly turned towards her and punched her right in the stomach.

 

            It did the job; the nanny dropped me in surprise and I felt my feet and legs crash into the floor. I quickly turned towards the main door and started crawling. It hurt my knees terribly crawling on the hard tile, but I was too full of adrenaline to care. I could see myself getting closer and closer to it…ten feet…eight feet….five feet…two feet…

 

            As soon as I was close enough, I made myself stand up to reach the handle. I knew I would get a shock, but I was prepared. As I felt the pain shoot through my body, I managed to grab hold of the handle and turn it. Despite my horrid pain, I was able to open the door, and as I did so, I dropped to the floor, knowing that the horrible agony of the shock would be over as soon as I reached the floor, and then I would be free to escape the building!

 

            But to my horror, as soon as I reached the floor, the pain didn’t stop; in fact, it became worse. I panicked because I didn’t know why I was still being shocked. I yelled in pain as I rolled over onto my back.

 

            It didn’t stop for what felt like an hour, although I’m sure it was more like five minutes. Near the end of it, I looked up and saw the nanny. She was pressing a spot on her wrist, and I realized that she was the reason I was being shocked.

 

            Once it was over, my body was far too weak to move. As the nanny scooped me up in her arms, I saw that she had a smile on her face, but it was not a kind smile; it seemed to say “I’m happy because I know how much trouble you’re in”.

 

            As she walked me into the crib room and strapped me in, she said, “Cody, Cody, Cody…you were being such a good baby. But I guess you forgot that you’re only a baby, and when a baby hits a nanny, it doesn’t hurt much. Don’t worry, honey, mommy’s not mad you tried to hit her; many bad little babies have done it before. But you WILL be punished. For now, it’s time for the baby to have his nap, but when he wakes up, he will be punished greatly.”

 

            After she left, it took a few minutes for my body to regain its strength. I began to realize what had happened. Like the stupid bitch said, I didn’t have all my strength, so my punch must have not hurt her as much as it should. However, because of what Johnny had told me, I knew I had more strength than a baby; I just think the woman got pleasure to tell me I was only as strong as a baby (or maybe it was another technique of the decoding process). Anyway, my punch didn’t have much affect on her, so she probably just dropped me in surprise, not pain. And she must have started to shock me either while I was standing or as I came down.

 

            No matter how it happened, I was feeling very defeated at my failed attempt. On top of that, I began to get worried about how I would be punished. I had not only hit a nanny, but I had tried to escape. Despite everything that was going through my head, I managed to fall asleep (even in a week I had gotten somewhat used to the extra sleep).

 

            I woke up wet, which was irritating but not exactly surprising. Within minutes the same nanny who I had hit came in. She carried me back to the nursery, and even though she was nice while she changed me, I knew she was looking to punish me.

 

            Well, she didn’t actually change my diaper. After taking off my wet one and cleaning me, she just picked me up under my armpits with my naked lower half left for the whole nursery to see (I was only wearing a T-shirt). After getting the attention of the whole nursery, just like before, I was put over her knee and she proceeded to spank me.

 

            Yet again I was embarrassed, especially because I was even more naked than I had been before. But then I began to remember Johnny’s advice. After a while, despite the laughter of the other kids, I began to wonder what was so bad about this. I mean, even though she gave me what seemed like a hundred slaps, they didn’t really hurt; I’ve taken a lot of pain in my life. And yeah, it was kind of embarrassing, but only because I let it be. So a couple of “babies” and “nannies” were laughing at me, who gives a damn? After receiving a good number of slaps, I began not to care that it was happening. I even felt a cynical smile go across my face.

 

            The nanny must have noticed the fact that I wasn’t screaming or even crying. After a while, she stopped spanking me, and she sat me up and looked me in the face. She then asked, “Now, did baby Cody learn his lesson?”

 

            I should have cried. I should have put on a sad face and nodded. I should have simply said “yes” no matter how happy my face looked. But like a fucking IDIOT, I shook my head, and even though it was extremely childish, I stuck my tongue out at her.

 

            Why did I do it? I don’t know, I just got pleasure out of defying her and letting her know that no matter what she did, she wouldn’t embarrass me or make me feel like a baby. I guess it’s the rebellious nature in me, the reason why I was here in the first place.

 

            I expected her to be angry. I expected her to yell at me and say, “Oh, is that so little baby?” Hell, I even expected her to throw me back over her knee and spank me some more. But she didn’t do any of those things. She simply smiled (yet again, another one of those evil smiles). She then stood up with me in her arms and carried me out of the room, motioning for another nanny to follow her.

 

            I probably should have been scared, but after going through a spanking and not being affected by it, I felt on top of the world. It didn’t seem like anything else could get to me at all.

 

            The two nannies took me to another bathroom. Once there, they took off my shirt, so I was completely naked. I started to get a little worried, so I tried to struggle, but like always it was useless. I was once again strapped down, left only to see these two women leaning over me.

 

            “Well, Cody,” the main one began. “It seems like you think you’re very tough, don’t you? I think that’s the problem; you still think you’re a big boy, you haven’t realized that you’re just a baby. So I think we’d better make you more like the baby you are.”

 

            With that, she went away for a few seconds, and when she came back, I saw that she had some shaving cream and a razor in her hands.

 

            I screamed in rage and struggled as violently as I could, but it was no use. The other nanny yet again tied a pacifier around my head and my restraints held me tightly. But the nanny just smiled as she put the shaving cream on my pubic hair and proceeded to shave it off.

 

            I did everything I could to stop her while I did it. I made as much noise as I could around the pacifier, and I squirmed in whatever way possible. But I didn’t stop her in the least bit. I began to cry again because of my pure helplessness.

 

            Once my pubic hair was gone, the nanny kept going. Soon, she had shaved my legs (I tried to fight it, but the two nannies were able to keep my in control, even when they had to unfasten my legs to shave them). She also shaved off my stomach and chest hair, my armpits, and even my face. The only good thing is that she didn’t cut me at all; I guessed that this wasn’t the first time she had shaved someone like me.

 

            She decided to leave the hair on the rest of my head alone, saying “It makes you look so adorable, Cody” as she pinched my cheek. The whole time I continued to helplessly cry. And to add to my grief, she then said, “And we want him to stay baby smooth, now don’t we? So we better make sure he doesn’t get back his big boy hair.” With that, she took out this weird kind of spray and sprayed it all over the areas that she had just shaved. Even though I wasn’t sure if I completely believed her, the thought alone was bad enough.

 

            Now I know what you’re thinking: why the hell was this such a big deal? I had just gone through a spanking in front of a room of people, and it didn’t phase me. Why was getting shaven enough to drive me to tears?

 

            I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but I guess you could say I was proud of those hairs. Ever since I had first grown them, I felt more like a man, and I had gotten very used to having them. Once they were gone, I felt completely like a little kid, or considering my situation, a baby. Combined with the nannies’ constant chiding and telling me how cute of a baby I was, as well as my remembering of how I had failed to escape, I kind of broke down and couldn’t just shake it off.

 

            I could tell the nannies were satisfied with my response, and once I was completely shaved (don’t you dare think of the phrase “smooth as a baby’s bottom), they powdered me again and put a new diaper and pair of plastic pants on me, refusing to shut up about how cute I was in my diaper and how little babies need their diapers. Once they had dressed me again in my shirt, they picked me back up and began to carry me back to the nursery.

 

            I was so flustered that I struggled with all of my might, but they held me firmly, and for good measure, shocked me again. This scared me into complying, and I just continued to cry as they plopped me back down on the nursery floor.

 

            Still feeling horrible about being shaved, I just collapsed onto the floor and continued to cry. It seems no matter what I did I still felt like a baby, not the badass fourteen year old that I once was.

 

            As I continued to feel sorry for myself, I noticed something a few feet away from me; it was a teddy bear. The bear was brown with a black plastic nose and eyes, and it looked very soft.

 

            Initially, I just ignored it. But as I looked at it more and more, I began become more interested in it. I had no idea why, but it struck me as cute, as stupid as that sounds. My interest continued, and I decided to crawl over to it and check it out.

 

            As I got closer, I had the urge to grab the bear. As I reached for it, I suddenly felt a sudden need to stop. ‘What in the hell are you doing?’ I asked myself. ‘For Christ sake, you’re fourteen years old! Why in the hell would you have a teddy bear? Only little wussies and…babies…have teddy bears.’

 

            But as I pondered this, I thought more and more about my past, and what Johnny had said. I thought about how my dad never let me have a teddy bear, and how I had always thought they were a bad thing for cool kids, tough kids like me. I looked at the bear and wondered what was so wrong about it. It was only a stuffed animal, and I couldn’t convince myself that it didn’t look cute…

 

            What was so wrong about having a teddy bear? It’s not like anyone here would think any less of me if I grabbed the bear, they think I’m a baby anyway. I was wearing a diaper, after all.

 

            But was I a baby? Just because I was being treated like one didn’t mean I really was one. And since I wasn’t a baby, I couldn’t justify having the bear.

 

            But then I thought ‘Dammit, why shouldn’t it be ok for me to have it? Why, just cuz my dad thought it was wussie? He’s the one who put me here! It looks so soft, and cute, what harm could it be in holding it…’

 

            With that, I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing the bear. Once I had it in my hands, I decided to give it a hug. I was filled with a warm sensation over my entire body, and it felt just so…good inside. As I continued to hug the bear, a smile spread across my face and I forgot all about the agony that I had been suffering. I made the decision that my dad was wrong, and that I had been wrong all of those years thinking teddy bears were for wussies…something this cute that made me feel this good had to be ok, and it didn’t matter what anyone else thought, it was right for me to have this bear.

 

            As the happiness continued to spread over my body, I decided to find a spot to lie down. I saw a light blue blanket on the ground, so I crawled over to it still clutching my bear.

 

            I curled up my body on the blanket, and I got comfortable snuggling my bear. Putting aside all of my feelings of silliness, I decided to give my bear a name. I liked the name “Timmy”; for some reason that sounded good.

 

            I continued to relax on the blanket as my euphoria continued, and I began to feel myself drift off to sleep. I didn’t know why, but as I did, my thumb inched closer and closer to my mouth. Before I knew it, I was sucking on it. I didn’t know understand exactly why I had put it in my mouth, or even more importantly, why I didn’t take it out once I realized it was there. It just felt so natural, and it made me feel even happier.

 

            I was just about asleep when I was jolted awake by a strangely familiar, sarcastic voice that said, “Aww, isn’t baby Cody just the cutest thing? I have to admit, you are pretty adorable with your bear and sucking your thumb like that, kid.”

 

 

Part 7

 

            I immediately recognized the voice (it was Johnny, of course), and I responded right away. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up straight, pulling my thumb out of my mouth and wiping it on my shirt while I did so. Strangely enough, I was still holding Timmy; I didn’t think about getting rid of him.

 

            I then said, “No, no…I was just…uh…”

 

            Once again Johnny held his hand up and said, “Come on kid, it’s natural. I told you that you’d find comfort in your furry little friend there.” He gave Timmy a look as he said this part.

 

            Realizing that I was still holding the bear, I slightly jumped out of shock and embarrassment, and I threw Timmy to the side. Even though I knew Johnny was right and that he even expected me to like the bear, I was still embarrassed to admit that I had gotten so much joy out of holding Timmy.

 

            It’s funny how quickly you can change mindsets. In the time span of ten seconds I had gone from complete happiness holding Timmy to extreme shame. I even started to feel disgusted that I had even considered hugging the stuffed animal.

 

            Johnny laughed at my reaction, and he just said, “Have it your way…but you better not lose him, you’ll probably want to hold him again. That is, if you don’t want to right now?”

 

            Johnny’s question puzzled me. I couldn’t decide…part of me wanted to race over to Timmy and grab him again, and another part not only resisted the urge, but made me feel stupid that I even had it.

 

            I decided to resist and I told Johnny, “No way, I don’t want that stupid thing.”

 

            “If you say so,” Johnny responded. “Not like it matters. Any particular reason you decided to grab him in the first place?”

 

            I wasn’t sure I wanted to recount the story for Johnny, but I decided to go ahead and tell him my failed escape plan, how I had fought off the shame of being spanked, and how I had been shaved because of it.

 

            Johnny was impressed; not at my escape plan or my stupid mistake of sticking my tongue out at the nanny, but at the fact that I had been shaved already.

 

            “I don’t know if you realize it kid, but that was the second step of the punishment process. Step one is spanking, step two is shaving. In just a week, you’ve already managed to reach level two. I can see why, though. Most kids here haven’t been able to fight off three spankings…probably because they didn’t have my advice about staying calm. And those who did weren’t foolish enough to so blatantly defy the nannies by sticking their tongues out at them…although I will say I that I find it quite funny.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess it was pretty stupid,” I admitted.

 

            “True, but look where it got you…you’re fighting the system pretty well kid, I’m impressed. Don’t worry so much, kid. Not a lot of kids here can say they’ve reached the level of being shaved. Well, once a kid is completely decoded the nannies typically shave him to make diaper changes healthier and whatnot, but it’s not a punishment for most kids…they never make it that far.”

 

            “Was the nanny being serious when she said my hair won’t grow back?!” I asked in alarm.

 

            “Well, partly…it will grow back, but it’ll take a couple of years…”

 

            “A COUPLE of YEARS???!!!” I asked in horror.

 

            “Oh come on kid, it’s no big deal.”

 

            “It is to me!”

 

            “Well, you’ll just have to deal with it. That spray stuff is pretty remarkable. It’s kept my hair off pretty well.

 

            “Anyway, given the shame of being shaved—especially considering YOUR pride—I find it completely normal that you found comfort in your bear. And I noticed you sucking your thumb, too!” he added with a smile.

 

            Feeling myself go a little red, I asked, “No, you see, I don’t suck my thumb, I have no idea why I did it. I don’t even think I sucked my thumb as a little kid…”

 

            “Yeah, kid, but remember, you probably haven’t held a teddy bear in a long time, either. Besides, don’t forget that you’ve been forced to sleep with a pacifier in your mouth for a week, so it’s natural for you have something in your mouth while you sleep. My guess is that as you started to fall asleep your body naturally responded by putting something in your mouth, with your thumb being the easiest thing. It happens all the time, although kids tend to just stick their pacifiers in their mouths when it happens.”

 

            As I took this all in, I got irritated and said, “Man, this decoding stuff really sucks!” After receiving another shock, I recovered to hear Johnny’s response.

 

            “Well, whatever you think of it, it’s happening. And it’s also affecting you in ways you probably haven’t even noticed yet.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “Well, I kind of reluctantly tell you this, since it’ll probably just upset you.”

 

            Although I was a little resistant, I was curious now, so I said, “No, go ahead and tell me.”

 

            He started to say, “Well, let me ask you this…since you’ve been here, have you had a…” But he suddenly stopped and sniffed a bit. As he did so, a smell hit my nose. It didn’t take me long to realize that Johnny had a dirty diaper.

 

            He of course noticed the smell too, and he stopped and said to me, “Looks like someone needs a change.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess you’re gonna cry now and get a nanny to change you, right?” I asked.

 

            But Johnny just looked at me funny for a second, and then he said, “Uh, kid, I hate to tell you this, but I’m not the one with a smelly diaper…you are.”

 

            At first I thought he was joking. But then I shifted myself a little bit, and with complete shock and horror I realized he was right; I could feel the nasty mess up against my ass. How in the hell had I not noticed it come out, and then not noticed it once it was in my diaper.

 

            I almost started to cry, but I held it in. I just asked Johnny, “How did I not notice it?!”

 

            He just gave me a nervous look, shrugged, and said, “That’s what happens, kid. You get used to it after a while. But don’t feel bad; I myself am wet anyway. Come on, we can get changed together. It’ll be fun.”

 

            Not feeling like it would be any fun, I decided to just go with it. Both of us launched into a crying fit, and soon two nannies came over to change us. They carried us over to two changing tables and changed our diapers side by side. As my nanny removed my dirty diaper and wiped me, I noticed that Johnny was once again acting like a total baby.

 

            Even though I felt really stupid, I had an urge to…outdo Johnny, if that makes sense. I wanted to act even more like a baby than he was, almost like it was a competition. To be honest, I even had a fun time as I started to giggle and make babyish sounds while my nanny lovingly wiped me, powdered my butt, and pinned on a new diaper.

 

            Once we were changed, the nannies carried us back over to our previous spot.

 

            “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Johnny asked me.

 

            “Well, I GUESS not,” I responded.

 

            “Anyway, not to kill the mood or anything, but I was in the process of telling you how decoding has already affected you. Let me ask you this…since you’ve been here, have you had an erection?”

 

            After I processed Johnny’s question, I was utterly shocked…not only had I not had a hard on since I had been here, the thought of having one had never even crossed my mind.

 

            “Well…no,” I said in amazement to Johnny.

 

            “And assuming you used to drink, smoke, or do drugs, I bet you haven’t thought of any of those things or had the desire to use them since you’ve been here, right?”

 

            Once again he was correct. I was completely frightened by the idea…those things that used to be so central to my life were now things that didn’t even enter my mind at all.

 

            “Why haven’t I thought about all that stuff?” I asked.

 

            “Well, it’s actually just a pleasant (well, pleasant for the creators, anyway) side effect of you being here. The creators didn’t know about it at first, it just kind of happened, and that was just something else they didn’t have to purge us of. I can’t really explain it. I don’t think even they understand why it happens…I guess it’s just because you’re so surrounded by baby images that your mind can’t even take the time to think about it.”

 

            I was greatly bothered by this news, and I immediately tried to get a boner. I closed my eyes and I tried to clearly picture the hottest woman that I had ever seen, dressed in skimpy underwear. I pictured her slowly taking off her clothes, and I pictured her huge tits and tight ass.

 

            But my penis wasn’t responding at all. It stayed limp as ever. And not only that, but I had trouble finding the woman sexy. She looked nice and everything, but instead of me being turned on, I was filled with a desire to have her hold me in my arms. When I pictured her breasts, I didn’t get aroused by them, but I simply just had a desire to suck them…not for pleasure, but to get milk out of them…

 

            Horrified, I opened my eyes and just stared at Johnny.

 

            “What the hell…” Another shock. Feeling even more frustrated, I said, “What is happening to me?!”

 

            “You’re being decoded, my friend, I’ve told you many times before…”

 

            My mind was spinning around in circles from all of this. I felt like I was going insane. But one thought stood out; as much as my gut drove me to these babyish desires, my mind firmly rejected everything. I didn’t want to be decoded and turned back into a baby. I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to have a teddy bear, I didn’t want to suck a pacifier, I didn’t want to compete with Johnny to see who could be more babyish during a diaper change, I didn’t want to be loved (especially by stupid nannies), I didn’t want to play with stupid cars and blocks. I just wanted to go out and party with my friends, get into fights with people, raise hell like I used to…

 

            But when I looked Timmy, the teddy bear that was lying only a few feet away from me, I once again felt a churning in my stomach, a deep down desire to rush over and hug him. I wanted to be held in the arms of a nanny and have her lovingly bottle-feed me. I wanted to have someone there to change my wet or messy diaper whenever I let out a helpless whine…

 

            What the fuck was I saying?! I didn’t want that…I just wanted out! But I couldn’t get my mind to stick on that thought. I needed to find a way to focus…

 

            Then it hit me: Johnny. Johnny had been here for years and years, and yet he wasn’t decoded. Seeing him as a last hope, I told him, “Johnny, I NEED you to tell me how you’ve fought this system. Now.”

 

            He sat there, and once again he told me, “Later. I will when I think the time is right.”

 

            “Johnny,” I said, frustration building at this point. “I need you to tell me RIGHT NOW. I think now is the time.”

 

            “Sorry, kid, I ain’t going to. You’re not ready to hear it…”

 

            “Not ready to hear it!” I yelled in a whisper (if that makes any sense…I guess it was more like a hiss). I spoke like this because I wanted to be careful not to attract the nannies’ attention. “Johnny, I’m being decoded here! I’m starting to cry whenever I wet myself! I am being filled with desires to have a teddy bear! I’m sucking my thumb when I sleep! I’m having fun playing with cars…”

 

            “And I think it’ll be good for you,” he responded.

 

            This was about all I could take. My frustration was bursting over the top because he refused to tell me. I couldn’t hold in my temper any longer, so with a look of anger on my face, I very quickly crawled over to Johnny, grabbed him by the shirt he was wearing, and I forcefully pushed him down onto the floor. As I tightly pinned his shoulders to the floor, I told him, “NO! Tell me! Now!”, being careful to keep my voice down.

 

            My actions clearly caught him by surprise, but once he regained his composure, he calmly said, “Calm down kid. Come on, get off me.”

 

            After I quickly checked to make sure no nannies were watching us, I gave him a shake and responded, “No! Not until you agree to tell me why you’re not decoded!”

 

            But he just continued to stay calm and said, “Kid, I’m warning you, you better get off of me right now,”

 

            But I wouldn’t have it. I once again checked to make sure no nannies were watching, and then I once again gave him a firm shake and said, “Tell me!”

 

            “Sorry, kid, you asked for it.” I expected him to push me off or punch me or something. That’s what I’m used to happening in fights, and that’s what most people did when I had them pinned up against a wall or something. I didn’t worry, thinking I could take Johnny in a fight.

 

            But he didn’t fight me back. To my surprise, he began to cry. Although he started off small, he was soon screaming at the top of his lungs, tears coming out of his eyes.

 

            Realizing that a nanny would soon be here, I tried to get him to stop. If I had been smart, I would have jumped off of him and pretended like he was just crying because he was hungry or something. But I wasn’t thinking, so I just stayed on top of him, giving him a small shake and hissing, “No! Stop it! Come on, stop crying!”

 

            But before I knew it, I felt a yank from the back of my shirt, and I was thrown back a few feet. Looking up, I saw a nanny, a look of pure anger on her face.

 

            Another nanny rushed over, picked up Johnny, put him over her shoulder and began to comfort him. He continued to cry, but his yells turned into sobs. I looked around and noticed that the whole nursery was watching us.

 

            The nanny standing over me continued to look angry, and in a voice that had more anger than I had heard any of the nannies use, she said, “Cody, what happened here?”

 

            Before I could respond, in a babyish voice Johnny said, “C…Cody…hit me!” through his sobs.

 

            I immediately heard gasps from the nannies (and even some of the kids) across the room. As Johnny’s nanny comforted him, the nanny near me became furious. She looked down at me and yelled “HOW DARE YOU!” With that, she grabbed my right ear with one of her hands and started to drag me towards the door.

 

            I don’t know if you’ve ever been dragged by your ear, but I hadn’t, and let me tell you, the pain is horrible (I almost would have preferred a shock). Plus there was the fact that I couldn’t stand, so I was basically being dragged on my knees. I was too overwhelmed with shock by the whole situation that I only managed to whine a bit and go along with her. As she pulled me out of the room, I noticed that all the nannies and most of the kids were looking at me with scowls. I glanced over at Johnny. His head was over his nanny’s shoulder, and her back was towards me, so I could see his face. His cries were now merely whimpers, but his face wasn’t sad anymore; in fact, he was looking right at me with a devilish grin.

 

            Once I had been led out of the nursery, the nanny let go of my ear and harshly picked me up and put me in her arms. As she carried me down the hall, she held me tightly (it wasn’t just securely like they normally carried me; this was forcefully out of anger). She even gave me a few forceful shakes, stared down at me in anger and said, “You miserable little brat! I’ve seen a lot of wretched little creatures come through here, but you’re the nastiest one yet!”

 

            Even though these words made me feel horrible (you don’t know what it was like to look into her face…it was terrifying), although a part of me was just shocked because this was the first time I had heard a nanny talk to me (or any kid) in such a tone. Even when I had been punished, there was a sense of love about them. I hadn’t thought they were capable of being so…mean.

 

            As she continued to walk, she said, “I’m going to take you to one of our assistant directors, Dr. McPherson. He’ll know what to do with your filthy little carcass.”

 

            After she walked for a few more seconds, she came up to a door and stopped. She gave it a few quick knocks, and I heard an oddly familiar voice say, “Just a minute.” It seemed like the person was on the phone. After about a minute, I heard the voice say, “Come in.” I knew I had heard the voice before, but I just couldn’t place it.

 

            Once the nanny opened the door, I gasped when I recognized who the voice had belonged to. Sitting at a large desk (which had a little chair in front of it, facing it) sat the slick haired, greasy mustached man who I had first met when I arrived here. He was wearing another one of those leather outfits, although this time it was a dark red (I still don’t know why he wore them…what a freak).

 

            The nanny walked in and forcefully threw me onto the little chair. She then quickly strapped my wrists to its armrests and then grabbed my feet and did the same with my legs to the bottom of the chair (it was attached to the floor so I couldn’t move). She didn’t put anything in my mouth.

 

            It took the leather suit guy, Dr. McPherson I guessed, a few seconds to recognize me. Once he did, a devious smile spread across his face, and he looked at me and said, “So, Mr. Stephens, we meet again…” He then gave this shrill laugh that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

 

            “So,” he said, looking at both me and the nanny with the same smile. “What appears to be the problem here?”

 

            Before I could say anything, the nanny broke in and said, “Cody here attacked one of the other children!”

 

            The smile across McPherson’s face quickly snapped into a frown, and he suddenly stood up and looked at me intently.

 

            “Is this true?!” he demanded of me.

 

            I was really nervous, so I had trouble getting my voice to go. Technically, I hadn’t actually hit Johnny, so I nervously said, “N…no, I didn’t…”

 

            But the nanny once again interrupted me.

 

            “Don’t lie, you evil little troll!” she yelled. “I saw you myself! You were kneeling over him, holding him to the ground! Plus Johnny told us that you hit him!”

 

            As she spoke, McPherson stormed over towards me and got right in front of me.

 

            I began to say, “That’s not true…” but I was cut off my McPherson giving me a hard slap across the face.

 

            “Insolent boy!” he said angrily. “I hope you understand that I have no reason whatsoever to believe you. I trust our workers here far more than your filthy mouth that has told countless lies in the past. I know how you little cretins work, I’ve dealt with many of you in the past.”

 

            “And why would we ever take your word over Johnny’s?” the nanny added. “I admit Johnny was a very, very, difficult one to train, but now he’s one the sweetest babies we’ve ever had!”

 

            I was so pissed at Johnny that I blew his cover.

 

            “That’s not true!” I responded. “He’s not a baby! He’s just been acting like one, he’s fooling all of you…”

            

            My words didn’t accomplish anything, though, because I was cut off again by another angry slap by McPherson. “Shut up, you nasty little liar! You just don’t know when to stop, do you?”

 

            He then turned and walked slowly back towards his desk. While he walked, he started talking again.

 

            “We have seen many horrible little boys come through our wonderful program here, Mr. Stephens.”

 

            As much as I hated this prick, I have to admit that it felt very nice to have someone refer to me as something other than “Cody” or “the baby”

 

            It didn’t last though, because he then added, “Or should I say, Cody. We have dealt with the worst delinquent little brats that this area has to offer, and we have successfully re-programmed them to be what they should, good little babies and boys. But never, and I mean, never, in the ten years of this program, has one of them had the complete nerve to actually strike another one of the children so maliciously.

 

            “Unless you’re too stupid to notice, Johnny is nothing more than a two year old in an older body. He’s completely harmless and good-natured, and like you’ve heard, he’s one of the best behaved children that we have here. But YOU have the pure audacity to strike this child for no reason at all! What did he do to you, offer you a toy? Ask you to play with him? And you not only strike this innocent child, but then you invent some off the wall story to try to make up for it!”

 

            He walked over towards me, said “You utterly disgust me, Cody,”, and then he spat on me.

 

            This got rid of all the fright and nervousness I had, and it turned to pure anger. After wiping off his spit on my shoulder with my face, I violently tried to struggle, but I couldn’t do anything. Frustrated, I yelled out, “Yeah, fuck you and this gay ass program!”

 

            I of course got shocked, but not before I completed the statement. I was so enraged that I didn’t care.

 

            But McPherson just smiled. “Yes, that’s right, use your filthy language to try to insult me, that’s all you know how to do, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter; you may think you’re “tough”, Cody, but you’ll learn, no matter how long it takes.

 

            “You see, Cody, don’t get a false impression of our program. Most nasty little boys who come here believe that they are being turned back into babies. But in reality, that’s not the case. All this program does is show you little brats what you truly are, and treats you like it.

            

            “Because that’s all that you are, Cody; a baby. You always have to have your way. It’s all about doing what YOU want, not doing what older, wiser, people tell you to. They only help you to do what’s best for you, and what do you do? You ignore their rules and follow your own, having no appreciation for them.

 

            “You children are just like babies. Mommies and Daddies spend countless hours taking care of a baby; feeding it, bathing it, dressing it, changing it, comforting it. And what does the baby repay the parents by doing? It cries in the middle of the night, spits up on them, causes problems in public, and has messy diapers that need changing. It is in all ways selfish because it doesn’t know any better and can’t help it.

 

            “You are just the same way. Your parents, teachers, and other authority figures do everything for you, and how do you repay them? By making their lives miserable, causing problems for no reason. You are just a selfish little baby who doesn’t understand that others are only taking care of you and doing what’s best for you. So this program doesn’t turn you into a baby; it just treats you the way that you already are.”

 

            I resented everything this fucking bastard had to say. He didn’t understand a damn thing about my previous life. And he had no right to say anything about who I was, why I was here, or how I should be treated.

 

            But in the back of my mind, a tiny little voice was gnawing at the back of my head; it was saying that he was right, and I was just a selfish little brat, a baby who constantly hassles those who try to take care of me.

 

            But I pushed the little voice completely out of my head and ignored it while McPherson continued to talk.

 

            “But given that you have already committed this offense on poor Johnny, we are now faced with the dilemma of what to do with you. After all, we have never had a boy so wretched that has done something like this before…”

            

            The nanny once again broke in, “May I suggest lashings, sir?”

 

            Before I could process this, McPherson said, “As much joy as I would get out of beating this little waste of human skin, he doesn’t appear to be the type that pain seems to affect the most. From what I hear he has quite a rebelliousness to his shocks, so I don’t thing anything involving physical pain is serious enough to deal with his actions.”

 

            “Perhaps,” the nanny began. “An enema, then?”

 

            I gave a nervous gulp of fear. McPherson gave that shrill laugh again and said, “I do think that this idea would help straighten out our naughty little baby here, but as you know, we have not had the equipment necessary to administer the punishment for quite some time. Besides, many parents have complained about this treatment…although I haven’t the faintest clue as to why.”

 

            After he thought for a few minutes, he said, “Well, I do believe we’ll go with the standard punishment.”

 

            The nanny snorted and said, “Do you really think punishment level 3 is enough to discipline Cody for what he has done?” she asked.

 

            “No, I don’t,” he remarked. “That is why he will receive punishment levels 3, 4, and 5 within a three day period.”

 

            The nanny gasped in disbelief. Considering her relentless suggestion of punishments, this frightened me more than anything that had happened so far.

            

            “Do you really think he’ll be able to handle all three in such a short period of time?” she asked.

 

            “Well, there is the tiny risk of him going insane, I suppose,” McPherson responded. “But I think Cody does not have enough guts to make it through all three without surrendering to his babyhood, anyway. From what I’m told, he’s already found quite a fondness for a certain ‘teddy bear’.”

 

            I was irritated and shocked that he knew about Timmy, but more bothered by his suggestion of punishment.

 

            “It’s final,” he said. “Starting tomorrow, Cody will be punished accordingly. I hope you’re ready to leave this place, Cody.”

 

            I was filled with a sudden hope. Did this mean that I was done here at this stupid program? No matter what punishment levels 3, 4 and 5 were, if they meant I could take off this stupid diaper and get out of here to be punished, I didn’t care what they were.

 

            I couldn’t contain my hope, so I blurted out, “You mean I actually get to leave here and not be treated like a baby anymore?!”

 

            He looked at me for a second, and both he and the nanny burst into laughter. Once they were done, he said, “No, you idiot boy! How stupid are you? I don’t want to spoil the fun for you, so I’ll just say that tomorrow, the nannies and the other children won’t be the only ones who get to see you in diapers.” He then added another shrill laugh.

 

            “I think that will do it,” he said as he turned back to some papers on his desk. “Get this little piece of filth out of my sight,” he added without looking up.

 

            Before the nanny came over to untie me, my stomach gave a rumble. I had been hungry almost since the moment I had been taken to this room. Without even getting a chance to think, I let out a babyish howl; just like when I was wet, it came out by instinct.

 

            I soon caught myself and stopped; but the damage had already been done.

 

            “Oh, it looks like it’s time for Cody to have his ba-ba,” the nanny said. Turning to McPherson she asked, “Should I feed him, or make him stay hungry until tomorrow?”

 

            Looking up and smiling, he simply said, “Let the baby have his bottle. But afterwards, I do want you to tie him down in his crib until tomorrow morning. He needs some alone time to think about what he did to poor Johnny.”

 

            I was angry enough to try to resist and fight as the nanny untied me. Getting fed up with me, she gave me a five minute shock, which made my body limp enough for her to easily pick me up and carry me out of the room.

 

            Before she carried me out the door, McPherson spoke, “Oh, and one more thing. Since Cody still appears to be a little troublesome, don’t change his diaper until tomorrow morning. Maybe staying in his filth will make him realize how much he has in common with it.”

 

            It was kind of weird; once the nanny took me out of McPherson’s office, her treatment of me completely changed. Instead of treating me with hate and disgust, she reverted back to acting just like I was a baby. Her grip on me was still firm, but not hostile like it had been before. And I didn’t have the impression that she was mad at me anymore.

 

            She took me back to a nursery, although it was a different one than the one I had been going to. Until now they had always taken me back to the same one; I didn’t know why, or why she chose a different one this time. I guess after all of the drama that had just gone down in the other one she didn’t want to spark up any more problems.

 

            It’s not like the new nursery was much different; except for the color of the carpet, which was pink, it looked exactly the same as the other one. There were a lot of kids here that I hadn’t seen yet, but they acted just like the other ones, except for the fact that it seemed like more of them were walking rather than crawling. I began to wonder how they organized the different nurseries, and whether or not each one had an individual purpose.

 

            I didn’t have much time to think; I was hungry, and the nanny quickly took me over to a rocking chair and started to feed me a bottle. Given my current mental state, you’d think I would have fought against her. I didn’t for two reasons; (A) I was already in a lot of trouble and I didn’t want to make it worse, and (B) I was famished, and a bottle didn’t sound too bad.

 

            I kept Johnny’s old advice in my mind while I sucked on the bottle; I didn’t let the belittling of nursing from a baby bottle get to me. I was still pissed at him, so I resentfully followed his advice.

 

            Once I was done, I guess this nanny had other business to attend to, because she handed me over to a new nanny. The new nanny asked, “What’s this little fella’s name?” The first nanny told her that I was Cody, and after instructing the new one that I needed to be kept in a crib until the next morning with no diaper changes, the first nanny left.

 

            The new nanny smiled at me, and said, “Cody, huh?” She then carried me out of nursery and down the hall.

 

            For some reason there seemed to be something different about this nanny. She carried me very gently, and she didn’t constantly harass me with baby talk like the other nannies always did. I noticed this and it made me feel better. I immediately took a closer look at her.

 

            She was pretty young; she looked like she was in her early to mid-twenties. She was very beautiful, and had a slim body that also had a little muscle on it. She had light brown hair, blue eyes, and a gorgeous smile. She was wearing a pink sweater and jeans, and she smelt nice. All of these things combined to make me feel happy to be in her arms. She made me feel…safe.

 

            After she carried me down the hall a little bit, she turned and walked through a door. I expected us to go into another crib room; but instead, we were in a tiny little room that contained nothing but a flat little table and a small cabinet.

 

            She laid me down onto the table, which I noticed probably wasn’t a changing table because it had nothing to strap me down with. I was only wearing a shirt and a diaper, so I was surprised when she took off of my plastic pants and unpinned my diaper.

 

            As she did so, she said, “I’m not going to strap you down, but if you move, I will shock you, ok?” I was surprised at her tone; she talked to me like I was fourteen, not a baby.

 

            I began to speak, but as I did, she took the pacifier that was pinned to my shirt and shoved it into my mouth. “Don’t talk,” she said. “Just listen.”

 

            I did as she said as I watched her reach into the cabinet. She pulled out this little tube, which she then used to squirt this paste into her hand. I was shocked when she started rubbing the paste all over my newly shaved pelvic area.

 

            As she did so, she said, “I’m told you’re not going to get a diaper change in a while. Since that’s the case, you’re going to get a bad rash, which I’m sure is part of your punishment. However, this cream will prevent that from happening.”

 

            She proceeded to put some more of the cream on my ass. Once she did so, she wiped off her hands and put my diaper back on me. After sliding my plastic pants back on over it, she spoke again.

 

            “I don’t have the time to explain anything right now…this is one of the few places that they’re not watching us, and I’m not supposed to have you in here, so we have to leave now. But before we do, listen to me: One day this will all be over. Until then, be strong; fight the decoding process, don’t give in to it.”

 

            I could hardly believe my ears as she picked me back up and carried me out of the room.

 

            As we went down the hall, I had the urge to speak or try to get out of her arms, knowing that she was different than all of the other nannies. As I spit out my pacifier, she quickly put it back in my mouth and hurriedly whispered, “No! Not now, you’ll surely be caught and be in more trouble. For now, just keep your mind right.”

 

            As much as I didn’t want to, I just stayed silent and sucked on my pacifier. She took me into a crib room and strapped me in, finally strapping my pacifier around my head. Before she left, I saw her turn around and grab something; to my great surprise and delight, it was Timmy! She tucked him in with me, smiled and whispered, “The other nannies told me you liked this little guy. Here you go!”

 

            I couldn’t really grab him, but I was filled with joy as she put him down next to me. Before she left, she whispered, “I’m Tammy, by the way.” With that, she turned and left.

 

            I was completely awestruck. I had no idea who this Tammy woman was, but she was obviously different than the other nannies. What was she up to? Not only did she not treat me like a baby, she defied McPherson my putting that cream on me, and she even told me to fight the decoding process. What was going on here?

 

            Even though I felt much happier knowing that someone was on my side, a nervous thought entered my head; what if this was a trick? What if the other nanny had sent Tammy to me to make me trust her, and then Tammy would use that trust to decode me even more? After all, she had given me Timmy, right?

 

            Not knowing what to think about the whole situation, I decided to just relax, which eventually led to me falling asleep. I slept for a few hours, and when I woke up, I was wet and hungry. Luckily, a nanny came in (not Tammy), and without bothering to untie my wrists or legs, gave me a bottle while I was still in my crib (she took out the pacifier, of course). However, she didn’t change my diaper, and I was forced to lie there in the cold dampness of my piss.

 

            A few more hours passed before I could fall asleep again. In that time I ended up shitting my diaper, and I was getting really sick of the smell and the feel of it all over my ass and crotch area.

 

            During this time all kinds of thoughts swam through my head; my anger at Johnny and McPherson, my nervousness about my punishment the next day, my confusion as to who Tammy was, my self-pity for the state I was in, my happiness that I had Timmy with me, and the discomfort of my nasty diaper to name a few. Eventually, however, I fell asleep for the night.

 

            I awoke the next morning to sunlight once again coming in through a window in the crib room. Two things struck me almost immediately. Firstly, there was the horrid feel (and smell) of my wet and dirty diaper. It apparently did its job and held everything in it; however, this also meant that I had to deal with it pressed up against my skin, and it had been there long enough to really start stinking a good bit. It almost made me gag.

 

            The second thing I noticed was that I was alone. There were no other kids in any of the other cribs. This was awkward, but I didn’t think much of it.

 

            It wasn’t long before a nanny came into the room. She had a smile on her face at first, but she soon turned her nose up in disgust. “Whoo!” she said. “We have a very smelly baby, don’t we? Let’s get baby Cody changed.”

 

            I was so relieved at this that I wasn’t even bothered by the babyish talk. She untied me from the crib and took me to a changing table in the crib room; for some reason there was one in this particular crib room. The nanny thoroughly wiped and cleaned me when she changed me, and to be honest, for the first time I truly enjoyed the feeling of a clean diaper on me.

 

            She then dressed me in a light blue and (gasp!) pink striped footed sleeper. This was the worst one yet, and again, it had that stupid “Baby Cody” label on it. I didn’t complain, however; I knew it would just lead to more shocking.

 

            After I was taken to a nursery and spoon-fed, uh, breakfast, surprisingly enough I was taken back to the crib room. It was very early for a nap, so I almost questioned the nanny why she was taking me back there. To make things even more odd, once I was strapped in, she didn’t bother to put my pacifier in my mouth. Timmy was in the crib with me; it was the same one that I had slept in the night before. I lay there for a bit, trying to figure out what was going on.

 

            The answer was soon revealed. As the nanny just looked down on me and smiled, two people entered the room. In fact, the two people who were responsible for me being here at all; the two people were my parents. I felt a mix of emotions. Part of me was horrified and embarrassed to have my parents see me like this. Part of me was pissed at them for putting me here. But another part of me was just relieved to see them, in the hopes that maybe they would let me leave.

 

            As they walked in, I noticed the looks on their faces. My mom looked extremely happy; she had a huge grin on her face, and she looked excited. My dad just had a somewhat satisfied smile on his face.

 

            Before I could say anything, my mom said, “Cody, I’m so happy to see you!”

 

            I didn’t even notice the fact that she called me Cody, not Luke. Before I could think, I said, “I’m happy to see you guys too!”

 

            I suddenly realized that this was my chance to get out of here, and my hope overtook me. “Mom, do you see what they’ve done to me here?! Come on, tell them to get me out of here! They make me sleep in a crib, suck pacifiers, drink baby bottles, wear diapers…”

 

            “You wear diapers?” my dad asked. As I nodded, he just burst out into laughter. He found the idea hilarious!

 

            My mom just continued to smile. “Honey, now think, why would we want to get you out of here?”

 

            I was suddenly filled with a new sense of terror. “But mom,” I said nervously. “I can’t stay here any longer! They treat me just like a baby! This isn’t right! You’ve got to help me…”

 

            “But you see, honey,” my mom said. “We are helping you. When you’re done, you will be a good little boy!”

 

            “Mom,” I began, as anxiety started to take over. “No! You’ve got to get me out…”

 

            “Just shut up for a second,” my dad said.

 

            “Honey, this really is the best thing for you,” my mom said. “One day you’ll thank us. Besides,” she said with a smile. “You look so adorable! I always wished I could get back my sweet little baby Cody! And now I have him back! Just look at you! You’re wearing a cute little sleeper, you have your little blankie, you have your paci pinned so you can suck on it, you get your fed your ba-bas, and you even have to have your didees changed!”

 

            “And look,” my dad added. “You even sleep with that teddy bear! I guess you really were a little wussy after all! You’re finally in a place you belong!”

 

            Tears began to fill my eyes as I realized that even my own parents wanted me to be a baby. My mom came over and said, “Don’t cry, sweetie, it’s ok. If you want your teddy, that’s fine. Babies need their teddy bears…”

 

            “I’m not a baby!” I screamed in rage. “My name’s not Cody! Get me out of here!” I added as I struggled violently.

 

            “Looks like our baby is a little fussy!” said the nanny who was still in the room. “I think he needs his paci and should be rocked to sleep!”

 

            “Allow me!” my mom said. “He is my baby, after all.”

 

            As I tried to resist my own mother, she stuck my pacifier in my mouth and tied it around my head. The three of them worked together to untie me, and once they did, my mom carried me out of the crib room and into the nursery. My dad decided to leave; after thanking the nanny for what she had been doing to take care of me, he said he needed to go to work and he left.

 

            I tried as hard as I could to escape, but like the nannies, my mom was too strong for me.

 

            After the three of them took me over to a rocking chair, my mom said, “I think Cody wants his ba-ba. I’ll feed him; it will be just like I used to fourteen years ago.”

 

            As she took a baby bottle and tried to put it in my mouth, I didn’t let her. She then said, “Cody, you drink your bottle, or I will have to spank you!”

 

            Horrified at the idea that I would be spanked by my own mother, I consented to the bottle. I couldn’t believe here I was, fourteen years old and being fed a baby-bottle by my mom! As I nursed from it, my mom told the nannies stories about how when I was a baby I used to cry and cry until she gave me a bottle and burped me.

 

            To make matters that much worse, as I drank it, I wet my diaper! After I finished the bottle, my mom knew that I was wet and said, “Awww, looks like the baby needs a diaper change! Maybe it’s been a long time since I’ve changed your diapers, Cody, but I haven’t forgotten how!”

 

            “No…no!” I said. I was utterly horrified by my mom changing my diaper.

 

            “Wait a second,” the nanny said. “I think someone else can help us with that.”

 

            I thought there was no way things could have gotten any worse; but I was wrong. As I looked towards the door, of the nursery, my latest ex-girlfriend, Vicky, came in through the door.

 

            We hadn’t had the best relationship. Even though we were both only fourteen, I had often yelled at her when she did little things to irritate me, and I had cheated on her many times. When she finally found out, she dumped me, but soon after I had sex with her best friend, so I wasn’t bothered by it.

 

            But now here she was, with a huge smile across her face. As she approached us, she said, “Well, well, well, the big bad Luke is now being treated just like what he is, a big baby!”

 

            As my mom held me tightly in place, Vicky leaned over, pinched my cheek and said, “Cutchie cutchie coo, little baby! Aren’t you so cute? I have to admit, Cody,” she said, reading what was on my sleeper. “I like you much better as a baby.”

 

            I felt deep hatred towards her, but also defeat at the helplessness of my situation.

 

            The nanny then said, “Vicky, you’re just in time! Cody here has a wet diaper!”

 

            Vicky just let out a laugh and said, “That’s just classic! Luke, the boy who used to think he was the king of the world, needs a diaper change! Well, Cody, I’ve baby-sat a lot of babies in my time, so I think I can help you out! One clean diaper coming right up!”

 

            I once again started crying as the three of them carried me over to a changing table. This just couldn’t be happening! They strapped me down, and the nanny and my mom held my legs and arms in place as Vicky began to unfasten the bottom of my sleeper.

 

            As she took off my plastic pants and unpinned my diaper, she said, “You sure are a heavy wetter, Cody! You really went pee pee in your diapy!” She just laughed and merrily hummed as she removed the diaper and used a baby wipe to clean my pubic area.

 

            After remarking on my shaven state, she took some baby powder and powdered my ass. After doing the same to my front, she took out a new diaper.

 

            Then something funny happened; as she unfolded it and put it underneath me, my vision started to become blurry. I guess it was just my emotional state overtaking me, but I felt like I was about to pass out. As Vicky continued to smile at me, everything began to slowly and slowly fade away…

 

            I again woke up. I was back in my crib, with Timmy next to me, and I immediately noticed that I had a very wet and messy diaper. A pacifier was strapped around my head, and I noticed that I was only wearing a diaper and a T-shirt. I once again noticed that sunlight was coming in through the window, and I could tell it was early morning…

 

            After noticing the other kids in the room, I realized that I had been dreaming. After gathering my thoughts, I realized that I did have the encounter with Tammy, and yes, my diaper hadn’t been changed since McPherson had ordered it not to be, but to my great relief, neither my parents nor Vicky had ever come here. After I sighed around my pacifier, I felt happy that at least my life had not been complete hell.

 

            Soon after, a nanny came in. After untying me, and changing my severely nasty diaper, she said, “Ok, Cody, let’s get you fed and cleaned up. You have a big day ahead of you!”

 

            I remembered that I still had punishment level 3 to go through today. I was still relieved that the encounter with my parents and Vicky had been a dream, but if I had known what was ahead of me, I probably would have wished that that encounter had been the real punishment.

 

Part 8

 

            My morning routine was actually just about the same as it always was; I was bathed, dressed (in overalls), spoon fed, and left to play for a few hours. However, after about an hour of being left in the nursery, a nanny came in, picked me up, and put me on a changing table.

 

            I didn’t need a diaper change; she just put me up there so that she could put a type of clothing on me that I hadn’t worn since I had been here; shoes. They actually weren’t all that bad; true, they did have Sesame Street designs on them, and they were Velcro, but compared to a diaper and overalls, the shoes weren’t that embarrassing.

 

            Afterwards, the nanny carried me out of the nursery and down the hall to a little room next to main door. I really saw no point in resisting her as she carried me down the hall; I knew it would just lead to shocks and more trouble.

 

            This changed once we got into the room. This was because of what I saw; a STROLLER. This was no ordinary baby stroller; ok, the design was the same, what with the padded seat, wheels, and the overtop cover thing, not to mention the fact that the whole thing was light blue. But I could tell that just like all the other furniture at this place, the seat was big enough for, you guessed who, me.

 

            Upon seeing the hellish transportation device, I burst into panic and yelled, “No…no…no!” I violently tried to get out of the arms of my nanny. But she held me tight, walked over to the stroller, and struggled to push me into the seat of the stroller.

 

            Despite her strength, I managed to prevent her from doing so; no matter how much she pushed, I managed to keep myself from being put into the seat.

 

            You can probably see where this shit is going. After a few more seconds of resistance, the nanny got frustrated with me, and just like before, she shocked me (for a good five minutes). After the horrible pain, my body went limp again, and she had no trouble sitting me down in the seat of the stroller.

 

            I just weakly pleaded with her to stop, saying, “No…please…anything but this…”

 

            But she just continued to work, muttering that I had brought it upon myself. Once my body was in the seat, she pulled down a soft bar that went over my waist, and pulled up another one that went between my legs. They clicked together and locked; it was just like a baby who is gets pushed in a stroller. Well, with one major exception; my arms were also pinned down by the bar, so I couldn’t move them either.

 

            As I was trapped into the stroller, I did manage to make some resistance…I was able to lift my arms a couple of inches, trying to stop the nanny. But it was pointless; my efforts were futile, and I was now snugly strapped into the evil device.

 

            Have you ever been to an amusement park and rode a ride that goes upside-down? You know how those bars tightly fit over your waste to keep you strapped in so that you don’t fall out? Well, that’s how this was, with two exceptions; one, my arms were also strapped down, and two, the “bars” holding me in were really soft, yet firm.

 

            Even though it didn’t matter, I had to admit the stroller was kinda comfortable. I was sitting upright, with my feet out at a slight angle. And the seat against my back and butt was soft, like a nice easy chair. Yet somehow my comfort didn’t give me any comfort.

 

            With my body still limp, the nanny took my pacifier and once again strapped it around my head. She also took a baby blanket and draped it over my body, tucking it in at the bottom near my feet and near my shoulders as well, so it wouldn’t fall off. The good thing was that this hid my overalls; the bad news was that it was a babyish, puffy blanket that had little moons and ducks all over it. I saw the nanny throw a bag with baby patterns on it over her shoulder, and then she went out of my view. I knew that she was behind me because a few seconds later I felt myself and the stroller being pushed.

 

            The nanny proceeded to push me out of the room and then through the large door leading out of this hellhole. It was a weird sensation, being pushed around like this. I wondered why the nanny didn’t struggle to get me to move, but then I remembered that my collar made me super light.

 

            As we went outside, I got my first good look of the area surrounding the building. It had been so rainy when I had arrived that I didn’t notice anything, and when I tried to escape I never got a good look at the outside. But now, it was a beautifully perfect spring morning. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was blue, and the air felt great. Too fucking bad I couldn’t enjoy the weather. But even with my body still recovering from the shock, I had a good view of what was around the building as the nanny followed a pathway leading around it, and I decided to study the area.

 

            Strangely enough there wasn’t much to see around three sides of the building. There was a pretty large field surrounding the building itself, with well kept, picture perfect grass. Beyond that, on two sides, there was a pretty thick forest. On a third side, the grass just extended to an even larger field.

 

            However, the nanny pushed me along the pathway that extended out to the fourth side. This side was not barren; in fact, the first thing I saw was a street. Beyond that, I saw that the area was a mix between a suburb and an urban area. There were houses, apartments, and other buildings fairly close together with streets and sidewalks surrounding all of them. However, there was also grass and small trees in between them as well. I suddenly came to the realization that I didn’t know where we were, only that it was about two hours away from my house (since that’s how long the bus ride had been).

 

            And then it hit me; judging by the cars driving through the streets and the people walking along the sidewalks, I realized that I was going to be “strolled” out in the open, where all these people could see me in my baby-like state.

 

            The shock of this had a direct effect on me, and I immediately got a jolt of panic. This managed to bring my body out of its limp state as adrenaline filled my body. I struggled violently in the stroller, hoping that if nothing else I could get it to tip over. But I was tightly locked in; no part of the stroller even budged, and the nanny just kept on pushing me right along, getting closer and closer to the main street.

 

            I became more and more panicked as the images of cars and people became clearer and clearer. As beads of sweat formed over my head, I struggled even more, but only managed to wear myself out. Feeling helpless, I only managed to softly moan as we inevitably reached the street.

 

            After waiting for the stoplight to change, the nanny pushed me across the street. I could turn my head, but I had no desire to look at the people in the stopped cars, so I just merely stared forward as we approached the other side. I found myself on a sidewalk with various buildings beside it. The nanny continued to push me along the sidewalk into the town, taking turns every now and then.

 

            She wasn’t in a hurry; I don’t know if she just didn’t care, or if she deliberately went slow just to soak in people’s reactions.

 

            There were quite a few people out on the sidewalks, some walking, some standing outside shops or houses just talking. As much as I didn’t want to, I found myself looking at people as they reacted to my situation. The streets weren’t really crowded, but we definitely passed someone at least every ten seconds.

 

            I honestly expected everyone to jump in extreme shock; I mean, that’s what I would have done if I saw a woman pushing a teenager in a stroller with a pacifier in his mouth and a baby blanket over him. I even thought (and hoped) that someone would run over and ask the nanny what the hell was going on.

 

            But not only did no one cause a scene, ask questions, or yell out in surprise, no one looked the slightest bit shocked to see me like this. Nobody even gave me or the nanny any weird looks.

 

            To my great relief, most people didn’t even give me a second look; they just went about with their business as usual. You’d have thought that I was an actual baby being pushed by my mother.

 

            Well, almost. There were some exceptions. As we went passed a few boys playing on the sidewalk (they looked about ten), they stopped playing and looked at me for a second, trying to get a closer look. Once they realized I wasn’t an actual baby (I wondered why the idiots didn’t realize it at first because of the huge stroller), they pointed at me and laughed, whispering things to one another as I was pushed past them. I felt my cheeks go red, and I desperately wished that I could escape and pound them; that would shut them up. But I couldn’t, I just had to sit there and take their laughter.

 

            There were many such cases as this, especially with boys. However, they were not the only ones to respond.

 

            Some people, especially women would smile at me as we walked past. Some gave me babyish waves. Some let out choruses of “awwws”. But the worst was when they stopped us.

 

            After initially saying something like, “My what a beautiful baby!” or “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing!”, these people would been down in front of me and stare. The nanny would stop the stroller and answer the questions that were asked, such as “What’s his name?” or “How long have you had him?” Then they would continue to smile at me, often pinching my cheek, commenting on my blanket, telling me how adorable I was, or just talking nonsense baby-talk to me. One even said “I wish I could take him home and make him my little baby!”

 

            I really had no choice but to sit there and take it, with my cheeks burning and my temper flaring. I tried to cuss out one of them, but my pacifier made it sound like I was just making babyish gurgle. This led one woman to say, “My my, he’s fussy. Have you checked his diaper?” I decided from then on just to not do anything, hoping to resist any more embarrassing comments.

 

            Thankfully, I managed to keep in my tears; this was good not only for my own pride’s sake, but if I cried, I just knew that someone would really act like I was a baby and that I needed to be fed or changed or something.

 

            As we moved on, I wondered what the hell was wrong with everybody. Except for the kids, they acted just like I was a real baby. Was this town just as fucked up as the program that I was in? This only made me feel worse, so I decided not to think about it.

 

            Soon I got a ray of hope; as we kept going I saw a policeman on a street corner. For the first time in my life I was glad to see a cop. Surely he’d put an end to this, arrest the stupid bitch pushing me, and bust me out of the fucking program.

 

            But to my horror, as we came upon him, he looked over, smiled at the nanny, tipped his hat and said, “Good day, ma’am.”

            

            After the nanny responded, he leaned closer to me, smiled, and said, “Who’s this little fella?”

 

            “This is Cody,” she said. “We decided it would be good for Cody to get some fresh air and show everyone what a cute baby he is. Everyone we’ve seen so far finds him absolutely adorable!”

 

            “Well, he is a cute little tyke,” the man said. He chuckled and reached out to lightly grab my chin. I would have bit him damn fingers off if I didn’t have the pacifier in my mouth. After patting my cheek lightly, he said, “Now you be a good boy for your mommy, you hear?” It was funny how he said this; it was still like I was a real baby and all this meant was that I shouldn’t cry or something like that.

 

            As we left him, I began to get really bothered, realizing that I really did have no hope. But once again, Johnny’s advice echoed through my head. I knew the only way I could fight the decoding (and the possibility of insanity) was to stay calm and not let all of this get to me. As I took a few deep breaths through my nose, I began to make myself relax.

 

            Now that I was used to the whole thing, this wasn’t so bad. Have you ever had something embarrassing happen to you in public? At first, you’re like “Oh god, this is so embarrassing to have everyone see me.” But then you’re like “Wait, I’m not ever going to see any of these people again, so why does it matter if they see me?” That’s the way I began to feel. Even the snotty kids didn’t bother me since I knew that I didn’t know them and that I wouldn’t have to deal with them again.

 

            After I managed not to let a few more encounters with some stupid women get to me, I was feeling pretty good. This was punishment level 3, and I was taking it pretty well. The nanny would probably just take me around town a little more, and at the very worst, we’d stop in a restaurant and she’d spoon feed me or something. That wouldn’t be so bad, and soon the day would be over. And that would be one punishment down.

 

            My hopes were shattered soon afterward, however. The nanny stopped in front of an open gate with a series of buildings next to each other and said, “Ok, Cody, here we are, where you’re going to have some real fun!” I looked up and became mortified as I read a sign that said, “St. John’s Catholic Boarding School for Young Ladies”.

 

            My nerves suddenly shot through the roof. This wasn’t just random people seeing me in a stroller; the nanny had taken me here for a purpose and obviously something was going to go down. And with a bunch of girls to make matters worse!

 

            As the nanny pushed me through the open gate, I noticed we were on a brick pathway. The “campus” looked sort of nice; there was grass, trees, and about fifteen brick buildings scattered about.

 

            As we continued along the pathway, I noticed a group of girls at a picnic table having lunch. As we drew closer, one of them spotted me and the nanny, and I saw her say something to the group of girls (there were about ten of them). They all looked over at me and began to point and talk excitedly. Soon after, they got up and started running towards me. My body tensed up with a new level of nerves, and I felt my heart pound faster. I struggled as hard as I could to escape the stroller, but it was no use. I thought in my head ‘Please! Just get me out of here! I’ll do anything, just turn around!’ But of course I couldn’t say any of this, and even if I had been able to, it wouldn’t have made any difference.

 

            As I felt my nerves burst through the roof, I started to sweat again, and I saw the group of girls stand in front of the stroller.

 

            They all looked about my age, maybe slightly younger. They were all very hot, with nice, slim bodies. They were all white, but their hair colors varied. They were all wearing the same outfit; white button-up shirts, black skirts that were pretty short, and white socks that were pulled up.

 

            I had always had a thing for girls in Catholic school girl outfits, and before I would have given anything to be surrounded by these ten pretty girls. But given my current situation, my heavenly fantasy was complete hell, and I wished so badly that I could just disappear into thin air.

 

            The girls just completely surrounded me, and a flood of giggles and voices filled the air. They immediately started saying “Awwww”, asking the nanny about me, and remarking how cute I was. But this was different than the women in the street. Not only were there ten of them, but because of their laughter and the tone of their voices, it was obvious that they knew that I wasn’t really a baby. The women in the street could have fooled me; they acted exactly like they would have if they saw a real baby. But these girls had such a sarcasm that I knew they were perfectly aware of my real age. However, this didn’t stop them from having a good time with me.

 

            I heard them say things like:

 

            “Oh he’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen!”

 

            “Look at his little blankie!”

 

            “And he’s sucking a pacifier, just like a baby!”

 

            “Does he wear diapers! Ha ha, maybe he needs a change!”

 

            “I want to give him a bottle!”

 

            Each comment brought on more laughter and whispering among each other. I hoped the nanny would try to fend them off, but she was almost encouraging them, saying, “Oh yes, baby Cody loves his blankie and his paci, and yes, he does need his diapers and his bottle! He is just a baby, after all!”

 

            After more laughter, the girls became more excited and continued to hassle me. I continued to sweat and blush a deep red as they messed with the blanket, pinched my cheek, and looked me in the eye as they cooed and baby-talked me. It was a weird combination of the way they would treat a real baby and the way they would treat a teenage boy who they liked making fun of.

 

            I couldn’t hold it in any more, and my eyes started tearing up again. I tried to yell around the pacifier, but it only made muffled sounds that basically sounded like gibberish. The sight of my tears brought on even more laughter and babyish talk, resulting in such lines as:

 

            “Aww, poor wittle baby!”

 

            “Why is da baby cwying?”

 

            “Does he need his diaper changed?”

 

            After more giggling, to my relief, I heard a woman’s voice say, “Ok, girls, lunch is over!”

 

            After babyishly waving bye to me, the girls left. I felt a combination of shame, embarrassment and anger. These girls, who I was old enough to take out on a date or even fuck, were treating me just like a baby, and even though I felt like punching them all in the face, I was helpless.

 

            The nanny continued to push me along the pathway as my tears dried up. The only thing I could think to tell myself was what Johnny had told me about staying calm. It was extremely difficult, but I managed to basically get over what had just happened.

 

            My day apparently wasn’t over, though, because I was then pushed into one of the buildings. After the nanny pushed me down a hall that we were in, she came up to a door and stopped. She knocked on the door, and I heard footsteps come over to the door.

 

            As the door opened, a saw another woman who was wearing a long blue dress. She looked to be about 40, and her brown hair had slightly turned gray. However, she wasn’t really ugly, just average, really.

 

            She looked at the nanny and said, “I was wondering when you’d get here! We’ve been waiting for you!”

 

            Turning to me, a smile spread across her face (it looked genuine to me), and she said, “And look who we have here! Our special little guy! Oh, he really is adorable! Just look at his cute little face!”

 

            Turning back to the nanny, she said, “Ok, bring him right in!”

 

            As the nanny got behind me, she pushed the stroller into what I realized was a classroom. I saw about twenty more girls sitting behind desks that were lined up, and the woman, who I realized was the teacher, was standing behind a big desk at the front of the room, right next to a blackboard.

 

            As I was pushed in, the talking that had been going on stopped, and immediately all of the girls in the classroom looked at me and started pointing, whispering, and giggling.

 

            “Settle down, girls,” said the teacher. As they quieted down, she said, “I’d like to introduce someone who is going to be helping us out a little bit. This is our new baby in the class. His name is Cody!”

 

            As my cheeks started to burn again, I just helplessly looked at all of the faces that were smiling at me and trying to stifle more giggles. I once again tried to struggle, but yet again, it was useless.

 

            “As you know, ladies,” the teacher began again. “This class is called ‘home economics’. And an important part of this course deals with childcare and raising children. We’ve already covered a lot about childcare, but only a little bit about taking care of babies. Knowing how to care for a baby is a very important part of motherhood, and over the next few weeks we will be covering important topics such as feeding, dressing, and bathing a baby. You will learn how to calm down a crying baby, what makes babies feel safe and secure, and safety rules for babies.”

 

            As she spoke, I felt a heavy feeling in my stomach. In utter horror, I realized that I had to shit. But I was trapped; I knew the only thing I could do was hold it until I was out of here.

 

            “Now normally,” the teacher continued. “We simply use plastic baby dolls to help teach you these skills. But you girls are very lucky. You get a real live baby to practice on!”

 

            I became utterly terrified at her words, and between that and the feeling in my stomach, I felt like fainting.

 

            ‘Stay calm,’ I told myself.

 

            It was at that point that a one of the girls asked a question. I got the impression that she was pretty ditzy.

 

            “But wait a second,” she said. “He’s not a real baby, is he? He looks like he’s our age!”

 

            The teacher just laughed and said, “Laura, you silly girl, let me ask you this; how old are you?”

 

            “Fourteen,” she responded.

 

            “So if Cody was your age, wouldn’t he be fourteen?”

 

            As Laura nodded her head, the teacher continued by saying, “Right. Now, tell me, do fourteen year olds need to be pushed around in strollers?”

 

            Laura gave a nervous laugh and said, “No, of course not,”

 

            “Right. And do they suck pacifiers?”

 

            “No…”

 

            “And it’s pretty obvious that Cody here is being pushed in a stroller and sucking a pacifier. Now, who does things like that?”

 

            “Babies do,” said a girl with a very irritating voice. “So Cody is a baby!”

 

            “Correct, Molly!” said the teacher. “And therefore, Cody will be the baby that will help us out!”

 

            This whole conversation was completely degrading, but I was kind of used to that by now, even if I did have to deal with the girls’ gawking and giggling. I was more worried about what they were going to do to me, and of course, my need to shit was on my mind too.

 

            The teacher then said, “Ok, class, let’s all get up and meet Cody.”

 

            As all of the girls stood up and came closer to me, their reaction was similar to the girls outside; I could tell they knew I was really fourteen, but they seemed to get a real kick out of treating a fourteen year old, especially a boy, like a baby.

 

            “Now, I know Cody is very cute,” said the teacher. “And I know you all want to play with him and hold him, but let me warn you now that taking care of a baby is a lot of work. It is fun and very rewarding, but it’s also hard work.”

 

            Unfortunately, as she said these words, my bowel muscles gave way. With complete horror I felt my diaper fill up with my soft shit, and the nastiness of it pressing up against my ass was disgusting.

 

            Praying that no one would notice, I listened on as they spoke.

 

            “Now if you’ll notice,” the teacher said. “Cody is sucking a pacifier. Babies often need something to suck on to make them content, so if you’re putting a baby to bed or just need to calm down his crying, a pacifier can be useful. We better let Cody keep his because he might start to get fussy if we don’t.”

 

            I was so nervous about my shit that this didn’t even bother me. Unfortunately, I could now smell the nasty stench.

 

            “Babies also need to be kept warm most of the time,” the teacher said. “That’s why you’ll notice that Cody has a blanket...”

 

            “Ewww!” one of the girls yelled. “What’s that smell?”

 

            Another one said, “It’s horrible!”

 

            “It smells like…<giggle>…poop!” said the annoying girl Molly.

 

            As my cheeks burned with the hottest yet, the teacher just smiled and said, “Ah, I think someone has a dirty diaper!”

 

            This caused an eruption of “Ewwwws” and laughter among the girls. As one of them said, “Ewwww, that’s nasty!”, the teacher said, “Ah ah ah, girls, you see, this is what I’m talking about. Babies look very cute, but remember, you have to deal with things like midnight crying and dirty diapers, too. And since it’s come up, I think this is a wonderful opportunity for one of our first lessons: how to change a dirty diaper!”

 

            I couldn’t believe my ears; I reached a new level of panic as my heart pounded strongly in my chest. The mere thought of getting my diaper changed by the teacher with all of the girls watching was enough to make me start sweating again.

 

            As the teacher walked over, she said, “Ok, let’s get the our little stinker up on the changing table.”

 

            To my amazing relief, the nanny interjected and said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hoover, but I think Cody is very tired, and I must take him back to his crib. I’ll change him by myself before I go.”

 

            “Oh, nonsense,” Mrs. Hoover said. “It will be a good lesson for the girls.”

 

            “No, really, I must follow the rules,” the nanny said.

 

            Backing off, Mrs. Hoover said, “Oh, all right then. Ok, girls, say good-bye to baby Cody!”

 

            As the girls giggled again and told me bye, the nanny wheeled me out of the room and into a bathroom. She laid my blanket down on the floor. Afterwards she said, “Listen, Cody, if you put up the slightest fight, I will carry you back into the classroom and let them change you. Then I will spank you in front of all of them. Do you understand?”

 

            Terrified at her words, I agreed to comply. She took me out of the stroller and proceeded to change my shitty diaper, using the supplies from the bag that she had carried with her. Once she was done, she put me back in the stroller with the blanket over top of me.

 

            As she rolled me out of the building and away from the school, she began to speak again.

 

            “You know, Cody, you’ve made it through punishment level 3. However, because of the severity of what you did, tomorrow you have punishment level 4. And I’ll just say that tomorrow, we will come back here, and tomorrow you will not be as lucky as you were today.”

 

            Deeply frightened by what she was talking about, I tried not to think about it as she rolled me back to the main building of the Reconstruction program. After what I had been through the small encounters in the street meant nothing. As we re-entered the building, I was still worried about the next day, but extremely relieved that punishment level 3 was over.

 

Part 9

 

            After I was fed, I was put down for a nap again. To my dismay I woke up with a wet diaper, but after everything I had gone through, I hardly cared anymore. After a quick change I was taken back to the nursery and left on my own for a while. Even though I was a little surprised that they didn’t keep me strapped in the crib for the rest of the day, I wasn’t complaining; maybe they thought that one day’s worth was enough.

 

            I didn’t feel like doing much in the nursery; as bored as the place made me, the activities really weren’t fun most of the time. Besides, I had plenty on my mind, so I just decided to relax and think for a while.

 

            I still couldn’t get a lot of the images from earlier that morning out of my mind. The nanny, the teacher, the girls at the school, and even the people on the street didn’t give a damn about how I felt; they just acted like I was really a baby and it didn’t phase them at all. The girls even found it funny. I got filled with frustration, anger, and embarrassment when I thought about how much I wished I could have met them as my usual self; they were really hot, and I bet I could have convinced any one of them to fuck me. But it just sickened me how they just laughed at my helpless, babyish state and found me “adorable”.

 

            And I didn’t know what the hell was up with the people on the street. Why hadn’t they freaked out when they saw me, a fourteen year old boy, being pushed around in a stroller. My only guess was that I couldn’t have been the first kid to be publicly treated like a baby; after all, punishment level 3 must not have been a new thing.

 

            What was funny about the whole punishment was how it affected me; it actually filled me with anger more than anything else. The previous two punishments had torn down my pride and made me cry in humiliation; Johnny had explained that this was supposed to drive me to find comfort in the babyish pleasures surrounding me. But now, I just felt like killing the people who put me through this, and unlike before, I had no desire to even get near that stupid teddy bear.

 

            I wondered whether or not this was the effect that McPherson had wanted. I mean, wouldn’t he expect me to just feel horribly humiliated like before? Was it a good thing (for me) that I was pissed off like this?

 

            Or was that their goal after all? Was getting pissed off like this just another part of the decoding process?

 

            The only thing I felt sure of was that (as much as I didn’t want to admit it) Johnny’s advice about staying calm was wise. I mean, as long as I didn’t let the whole thing get to me, I had a much better chance of fighting the system.

 

            Thinking about Johnny just pissed me off even more. It was his damn fault that I had to go through all of this in the first place. Why the hell didn’t he just tell me how he managed to escape the decoding process? “I wasn’t ready yet”…what kind of shit was that?

 

            But then I realized something; when I had asked him, I had felt like I was going crazy. I loved holding the teddy bear, I was sucking my thumb, I even had fun getting my diaper changed with him. But now that punishment level 3 was over, I was just filled with hatred, and I had no desire to be a baby whatsoever. I didn’t even want to play with the cars!

 

            Had Johnny known this would happen? Did he cause all of this to help me fight the system? Or was he just being an asshole and screwing with me and my mind even more? I couldn’t figure him out.

 

            Either way, I knew that I still had two punishments up ahead of me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about punishment level 4. Level 3 had been the worst thing yet; public humiliation, especially in front of the girls, had easily been the most humiliating thing of my life. But it wasn’t over; I knew from what the nanny had told me that I would be going back the next day, and to make things truly worse, she had hinted that I would have to get my diaper changed in front of the girls.

 

            I began to get really nervous about the whole idea. For those few seconds earlier today I had thought the teacher was going to change my shitty diaper in front of the whole class. During those seconds, I almost fainted. But whereas I had escaped it this day, I wouldn’t be able to the next one.

 

            The idea terrified me. Not only would I be naked in front of the whole class, but I would be displayed as even more helpless because it would prove that I actually used the diapers and needed to have them changed. I was filled with fear as I thought about being wiped in front of all of them and having to deal with comments about my stinky diapers.

 

            But as I thought about it more and more, I began to calm down. I had been through so much already, so this could only be so bad. Besides, it would be over in a few minutes; at most it takes five minutes to change a diaper.

 

            I began to wonder why the nanny had made the comment, and whether or not it had been a good thing for me. Was it something that just slipped? Or did she hope that it would psyche me out and make me nervous, possibly pushing the decoding process even further?

 

            I couldn’t tell whether or not I was glad that she had told me; it was nice to know what was up ahead and be spared the shock of it, but at the same time it still scared me.

            

            I would find out the next day that there were still more shocks to come.

 

            After wasting the time in the nursery, I was fed a few more times, changed, and then put down to sleep (as much as I hated to admit it, these things didn’t really bother me any more…believe it or not, you can only have your diaper changed so many times until it becomes old news). It was irritating how easy it was for me to fall asleep with the pacifier in my mouth, especially since I was still getting about sixteen hours of sleep a day. I tried not to think about how much I had already been physically decoded.

 

            The next morning came, and like the previous one, I was changed, bathed, and spoon-fed. After I was once again dressed in clothes fit for going out (and surprisingly enough, a disposable diaper rather than a cloth one), I was put back into the stroller (which didn’t really surprise me, since I had assumed we would be going back to the school). Interestingly enough, it was the same nanny that had taken me before who was going to take me to the school again.

 

            It’s funny how things are never as bad the second time through; to be honest, I wasn’t that bothered by the fact I was being pushed along in a stroller with a pacifier in my mouth and a baby blanket draped over me. Maybe it was because it wasn’t new to me like it had been the day before, maybe it was because less people stopped to remark how cute of a baby I was, maybe it was because I kept telling myself to stay calm, or maybe it was just because I was nervous as hell about returning to the school. Whatever it was, I was hardly phased by my adventure through town.

 

            However, my nerves reached a peak as we once again went through the gates of the Catholic school for girls. Thankfully, this time none of the girls were outside when we went through; we reached the door to the classroom building without being stopped.

 

            Just like before I was pushed down the hall towards the classroom. Before the nanny knocked, she bent down in front of me and said, “Now Cody, you will do EVERYTHING the teacher tells you to do today, or you will be VERY sorry.”

 

            With that, she knocked on the door, and we were once again greeted by the teacher, Mrs. Hoover. As the nanny rolled me into the classroom, I once again was overwhelmed with nervousness as they stared and began to giggle.

 

            Mrs. Hoover then addressed the class. “Ok, girls, look who’s here! Now that Cody is with us, we will get a chance to practice everything I’ve been telling you about this morning. Our first lesson: how to bottle-feed a baby.

 

            “Ok, girls, gather ‘round while I get Cody ready. Molly,” she told that stupid annoying girl. “Get me that baby bottle full of milk, will you?”

 

            As Molly gave an annoying smile, she said, “Yes, Mrs. Hoover,” as she retrieved a baby bottle on a nearby table.

 

            Meanwhile, Mrs. Hoover leaned over me with a smile across her face. After taking the blanket off of me, she released me from the stroller.

 

            I had an urge to fight her and escape, but I knew that it would have been pointless, and it would only end up making these really bad for me, especially considering what the nanny had told me a few minutes earlier. Besides, Mrs. Hoover didn’t really seem to be making an effort to degrade me; she basically acted like I was an actual baby.

 

            She continued to smile at me as she lifted me my the armpits and said, “Ok, wittle fella, time for you to get your ba-ba!” I was embarrassed by this, but I didn’t really feel anger towards her; it was kind of hard to hate someone who was just treating you nicely (which was weird, considering how much I hated the nannies).

 

            As she shifted me so that she was holding me in her arms (with my legs on one side of her and my head on the other). She carried me over to a large easy chair as the girls circled around us.

 

            As Molly brought the bottle over, Mrs. Hoover explained how to hold a baby and that normally you should warm up a bottle. She then undid my pacifier, and even lightly pinched my cheek with a smile. She then took the bottle and slowly inserted it into my mouth.

 

            I wasn’t hungry, but I guessed that this was probably just normal milk. Again, I wanted to resist, but I knew it would do no good, so I just told myself to stay calm as I ignored all of the giggles and “awws” from the girls. Mrs. Hoover pulled the bottle out of my mouth after only a few seconds, and to my surprise, she stood up and put me over her shoulder.

 

            As she began to pat my back, to my great surprise, I let out a burp! As Mrs. Hoover told the girls about burping babies, I was just filled with awe that I had actually been burped! (the nannies never bothered to do it) I was embarrassed by this new form of babyhood, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

            Mrs. Hoover then asked for a volunteer, and one of the girls stepped forward. After Mrs. Hoover handed me over to the girl, she instructed her about how to hold me. It was kind of interesting; even though my collar made me extremely light, the girl still had a little trouble holding me since I was so big. But she got a hold of me, and just like Mrs. Hoover, she proceeded to bottle-feed me.

 

            Yet again, I was tempted to resist, especially since the girl wasn’t as confident in what she was doing as Mrs. Hoover or the nannies. But I once again refrained. And it wasn’t all that bad being bottle fed by the girl. She was pretty, and she didn’t laugh at me or go out of her way to baby me. It was kind of like a real girlfriend holding me, except that I was really in her arms and she was feeding me a baby bottle. I noticed that her name was Tracy since that’s what Mrs. Hoover called her.

 

            She tried to burp me as well, but she had a hard time getting me over her shoulder. But she was also able to make me burp, and once she did, she passed me on to the next girl.

 

            Each girl proceeded to do the same thing, all under Mrs. Hoover’s direction. But each time was different. Some girls were obviously more experienced, and despite my large size, they easily positioned me, bottle-fed me, and burped me. Others struggled, although none of them dropped me (but the ditzy girl, Laura, came very close to doing just that). I also didn’t burp every time; sometimes Mrs. Hoover would just tell a girl to stop after about ten pats. Laura almost beat me to death before I let out a soft little burp.

 

            Some girls were just concerned with getting the job done. Unfortunately, others got great pleasure from treating me like a baby, resorting to pinching my cheeks or cooing or baby-talking me. To make matters worse, Mrs. Hoover encouraged this, and it made the whole thing even more embarrassing. Molly was the worst; she had obviously dealt with babies before. She arrogantly grabbed me, somewhat forcefully stuffed the bottle in my mouth and said in a babyish voice, “Now drink up baby Cody!” After removing the bottle she patted me on the cheek and said, “Good baby!” She then swiftly threw me over her shoulder and gave me a few firm pats on the back, which resulted in a fairly loud burp.

 

            Once all the girls had gone (again, there were about twenty of them) and the bottle was empty, Mrs. Hoover moved on to spoon-feeding. She took over to a makeshift highchair that had a little table attached to the front of it. After strapping me in she tied a bib around my neck as she explained to the girls some of the techniques of spoon-feeding.

 

            She then proceeded to give me a few spoonfuls of baby food, even resorting to some stupid baby games like “Here comes the airplane!” As much as I hated this, I had long since learned that the best way to deal with spoon-feedings was just to swallow the stuff and get it over with as soon as possible.

 

            Like the bottle-feeding, each girl got a chance to spoon-feed me. For the most part, it actually wasn’t that big of a deal; true the airplane game (Mrs. Hoover told each girl to try it) was annoying, and my arms were still firmly held in place by the table, but it really wasn’t so bad.

 

            Unfortunately, some girls didn’t have such good aim, and they ended up spilling some of the gunk around my mouth and bib. This made it look like I was the one making the mess, making me look even more babyish. But Mrs. Hoover soon instructed them to wipe my mouth with the bib and it wasn’t the hugest deal.

 

            Laura managed to knock over the bottle of baby-food, and she somehow got baby food in my hair when she was trying to spoon-feed me. Tracy, on the other hand, did a very good job, and she just gave me a kind smile as she finished and said to me, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

 

            But of course, Molly was a complete bitch. She firmly shoved the spoon in my mouth before I was ready, which made me spit out most of the baby food. Remarking about how much of a mess I was making, Molly wiped my mouth off and continued to forcefully feed me. I felt like slapping her, and my anger just resulted in even more of a mess. As she finished, Molly just said, “Cody’s just a messy wittle baby, isn’t’ he?” as she gave me a condescending smile.

 

            Because of lack of time and equipment, Mrs. Hoover skipped everything else except for my biggest fear, which was of course diaper changing. To my surprise I noticed that I was wet, which just made matters worse.

 

            Maybe this is what led to Mrs. Hoover deciding to do diaper changing next. She remarked how I was a wet baby, which of course led to more “ewwws” and giggles, and to my dismay she picked me up by the armpits and carried me over to a changing table that was in the corner of the room.

 

            I was so nervous that I began to shake, and I had to use every bit of will power I had to stay calm and not try to escape. As Mrs. Hoover strapped down my upper body, the girls gathered around to watch, and I just closed my eyes as I tried to hold on to whatever dignity I had left.

            

            But as Mrs. Hoover unsnapped the bottom of my sleeper (that’s what I had been wearing), I couldn’t stop myself. I began to cry at the thought of having my diaper changed in front of all the girls and having all of them see me naked. Some of the girls were just shocked to see me cry, some giggled, and some just said, “aww”.

 

            Mrs. Hoover used the opportunity to explain to the girls that a baby will often cry when it is hungry or needs a diaper change, and that sometimes babies cry when you try to change them. She took a baby rattle and shook it in front of my face as she smiled at me, trying to calm me down in the same way she would a baby. Of course this didn’t comfort me at all, so she explained that sometimes a pacifier is the best thing. As she popped it into my mouth, she whispered for me to suck on it. I was still afraid at what would happen if I didn’t, so I sucked on it, which muffled my crying. Mrs. Hoover then smiled and said, “See? Sometimes that’s all little babies need to calm them down.”

 

            After she explained how she had unfastened my sleeper, I just closed my eyes and tried to zone out everything. I tried to ignore her explanations of how you un-tape a disposable diaper, but I still cringed when she said most babies wore disposables nowadays and that I just wore cloth ones because I was a “heavy wetter”. But the worst was when she finally undid the tapes, lifted up my legs and removed my wet diaper.

 

            The girls had a mix of reactions. Some said “ewww” as Mrs. Hoover disposed of the wet diaper, but most burst into fits of giggles as I could tell they were looking at my shaved privates. I felt my face burning red with shame as they seemed to be unable to control their girlish giggles. I could tell through her voice that Mrs. Hoover kept her composure; she just said, “Now stop being immature, girls. As you know by now, girls and boys don’t have the same anatomy, and when you bathe a boy or change his diaper, you will have to accept that. Stop being silly, after all, Cody is just a baby. However,” she said with a small giggle of her own. “When you change a boy’s diaper, you should be prepared; they do have…aimers.”

 

            This made me go even more red as I heard the girls giggle again and felt the cool air on my pubic area. I just continued to try to ignore everything as Mrs. Hoover continued, wishing the whole thing would just end.

 

            After explaining about how to dispose of used diapers, Mrs. Hoover explained how important it was to clean babies with baby wipes. I then felt a cold baby wipe rubbing my stomach, thighs, and to my utter dismay, dick, balls, and even my ass. Again trying to block out the giggles, I was thankful that she was done with that part.

 

            She then explained how creams, oils, lotions, and powders were important to prevent diaper rash, and I felt her shake some powder onto my genitals. She lifted me up and did the same with my ass, and the giggles continued to persist.

 

            I had been changed so many times that I knew that at least the end was near. I could hear Mrs. Hoover unfold a new disposable diaper, and I felt her slide it up under my waist. After explaining how to unfold a diaper and which end goes on the front and the back, she pulled it up between my legs and taped on one side and then the other, explaining what she was doing the whole time. Thankful to be clothed again (even if it was a diaper), I was filled with relief as Mrs. Hoover explained how to refasten a sleeper and then did so.

 

            I was so happy that the ordeal was over that I sighed in relief. That’s probably why Mrs. Hoover’s next words freaked me out so much.

 

            “Ok girls,” she said. “Now it’s your turn. But since we don’t have much time, plus I want to have a little fun, we’ll have a little contest: we’ll see who can change Cody’s diaper the fastest!”

 

            I gulped in terror as the girls excitedly chattered and giggled.

 

            “We won’t worry about powdering since that will just get out of hand,” Mrs. Hoover continued. “But each one of you will have to undo Cody’s sleeper, take off his diaper, wipe EVERYWHERE on him that needs to be cleaned, and then put a new diaper on him and refasten his sleeper. To save diapers, we’ll just alternate between two of them, and since the tapes tend to wear out, you’ll have to make sure you attach them very tightly!”

 

            I almost whined in fright, but I reached deep down inside me and managed to stay calm. As the first girl approached, I once again closed my eyes. I heard Mrs. Hoover yell “Go!”, and I felt the girl quickly unfasten my sleeper and move on to un-tape my diaper.

 

            I don’t know why, but I guess my curiosity just got the best of me, because I found myself watching her as she changed my diaper. She was so determined that she didn’t even take much notice of me. She worked quickly, even when she wiped me, but she fumbled with the new diaper, which ended up slowing her down.

 

            Most the girls were about the same, and some even looked more nervous than me. Most had trouble dealing with my large legs, but they all did about the same as the first girl. Thankfully, when changing me, almost none of them giggled at seeing me naked, and they were so into what they did that it actually wasn’t quite as embarrassing as I had thought it would be.

 

            Lauren of course had trouble. She easily had the slowest time, because she struggled to unfasten my sleeper, didn’t really know how to wipe me, and she put the new diaper on backwards before finally getting it right.

 

            Tracy did an overall good job, despite the fact that I think she had never changed a diaper before. She wiped me gently and with care and snugly refastened my new diaper with an almost perfect feeling. After she refastened my sleeper, Mrs. Hoover announced that Tracy had the fastest time. Afterwards, Tracy just reached over me, stroked my hair and said, “Here’s lookin’ at you, baby,” with a cute smile. To my surprise, this actually made me feel good, and to my ultimate surprise, I think I was starting to fall for Tracy a little bit!

 

            I didn’t have time to process this because it was the last girl’s turn, and it was Molly. She looked very determined, and I knew she wanted to win the contest very badly.

 

            That’s why when Mrs. Hoover told her to go, I felt a devilish grin go across my face. Because to my joy, I knew that I had to pee…

 

            After Molly quickly un-taped my first diaper, she wiped me down all over with extreme speed. But as she leaned over to get the next diaper, I just let it go. She screamed in horror and disgust as my piss squirted all over her the front of her shirt and her face. The class burst into enormous laughter and I even noticed that Mrs. Hoover couldn’t control her laughter. As Molly yelled “Ewwww!!!!” and tried to wipe it off of herself. She was furious and glared at me with anger.

 

            I wish that I had just stayed calm and acted like it had been an accident. But I couldn’t control my own laughter and I merrily laughed at her soaked state.

 

            This would have been fine, but the nanny (who was still there) walked over and said, “Oh, you think you’re funny, don’t you little baby? Well, we need to teach you a lesson.”

 

            The laughter immediately calmed down as the nanny un-strapped me, and I immediately went into shock. Without bothering to even re-diaper me, the nanny firmly picked me up, and before I knew it, she had put me over her knee.

 

            “Now wait a minute,” Mrs. Hoover said. “Cody’s just a baby, you know he can’t help it if…that happens when he’s being changed. I did warn the girls…”

 

            “No,” the nanny said. “Cody did that on purpose, and he will be punished for it!”

 

            Horrified, I spat out my pacifier and screamed “Nooooo!!!! You can’t spank me!”

 

            I think the girls were kind of shocked to hear my normal voice, but they were even more shocked when the nanny began to spank my bare ass. I could see Molly laughing as this happened, but she was one of the few who did. Although I couldn’t prevent myself from crying, screaming, and going red, I got a very tiny bit of comfort in that the other girls merely looked shocked, and that they weren’t laughing. Later I would realize that they had actually grown to like me and that they had enjoyed babying me!

 

            But in the meantime, I just continued to scream in pain and embarrassment as the spanking continued. Once it was over, the nanny quickly re-diapered me while the class watched in silence. My cries had been reduced to whimpers, and I just softly complied as the nanny picked me back up and re-tied the pacifier around my head. After forcefully throwing me back in my stroller, the nanny angrily said, “There, now you girls have a lesson in what you do with naughty little babies. We will see all of you tomorrow!”

 

            With that, she quickly rolled me out of the classroom as I heard frantic whispers coming from the girls. As she rolled me down the hall, “Well, I’m glad you thought you were so funny, you naughty little baby. That’s what you get for your little joke…”

 

            But she was cut off by the last person that I expected to see. There, right in front of us, was Tammy.

 

            She looked kind of frantic. “Quick!” she told the nanny. “You’re needed back at the nursery! I’m told it’s very important!”

 

            The nanny then said, “Oh! I’ll bring Cody right over!”

 

            “No time!” Tammy said. “You must go now!”

 

            “Then what about Cody?” She was clearly upset that she wouldn’t get to humiliate me anymore.

 

            “I’ll take him. I can bring him down to the park and show him off to everybody for about an hour.”

 

            The nanny smiled at the thought of me being publicly embarrassed even more. “All right then. But remember, only for about an hour!”

 

            “Right,” Tammy said, grabbing the back of my stroller.

 

            “Ok, I’d better go,” the nanny said. With that, she hurried down the hall and out of the door.

 

            “All right then, mister,” Tammy said to me. “Let’s take you down to the park. I may have some things to tell you.”

 

            I really had no choice but to sit there as Tammy pushed me down the hall because I was still strapped in the stroller with the pacifier in my mouth. This was difficult because my mind was racing considering the hell I had just been through as well as my shock of seeing Tammy.

 

            As Tammy rolled me outside the building and then off of the school grounds, I began to think a little more clearly. I knew Tammy was not a normal nanny, and I was pretty sure that she thought this whole system was as fucked up as I did. My head began to overflow with questions I wanted to ask her, so I was extremely frustrated at not being able to. I began to struggle and make muffled sounds to try to get her attention. She noticed and apparently knew what I was getting at because she whispered, “Cody, not now. It’s not safe to talk just yet.”

 

            What the hell did that mean? I couldn’t find out just yet, so I just had to continue to endure being rolled down the street.

 

            After what felt like hours (but was probably only about ten minutes), Tammy rolled me into a nice, quaint little park. There were a bunch of kids playing around with their parents on a little playground area, a few couples were relaxing and talking on a pretty large field, and a few people were playing catch on a baseball field. Tammy rolled me over to a bench and sat down facing me.

 

            “All right, listen up,” she said in quiet voice. “We don’t have much time, only about forty-five minutes. I’m going to take your pacifier out, but you have to promise me you’ll stay calm and quiet, ok? If not, both of us will be in a lot of trouble. If you haven’t noticed, everyone here acts just like you’re a real baby, and if they don’t think you’re acting like one, there will be hell to pay.”

 

            I nodded my head. Although I didn’t think I could get into any more trouble, Tammy was the only normal person (other than Johnny, who I was still pissed at) that I had to talk to, so I didn’t want her in trouble either.

 

            She untied my pacifier, and as soon as she did, I didn’t know what to ask her first. Before I could say anything, she said, “Well, I guess you’re wondering why I’ve taken you here. Well, it’s really the only safe place to talk. The people who run this stupid system are extremely strict about it, so they’re always watching at the main building, and this was the only chance I’ve had in a long time to talk to one of the kids here.”

 

            “Watching?!” I asked. I was extremely relieved that Tammy was indeed on my side, but I was also alarmed at this information.

 

            “Oh yeah,” she responded. “They’ve got cameras all over that place, and even though they don’t watch them or even turn them on all of the time, there’s no way of knowing when they’re not.”

 

            I was shocked as hell to hear this information. It made sense, but I had never thought about them actually watching over the kids. I felt really weird knowing that they might have been watching me when I thought to myself in the nursery or played with the toys.

 

            I then realized that they could have been watching when I talked to Johnny. But if they had been, why had they not done something about him telling me all about the system?

 

            I didn’t have time to further process this information, because Tammy continued by saying, “When I heard you were going to go through punishment levels 3 and 4, I knew this would be one of the few chances I would get to talk to one of you kids. I actually created the ‘urgent situation’ at the nursery. It’s not that big of a deal; I just let a few of the kids loose in the halls. It was really fortunate actually; I overheard one of the nannies saying how they were turning the cameras off in one of the crib rooms today, so I woke up about ten boys and let them crawl away down the hall. It’s not like it mattered, since like you’ve probably noticed, they’re really just like babies. But the people in charge of the system always overreact to this kind of thing. I think they think that if one of the kids hurts himself it will completely screw over the reconstruction process…”

 

            But I cut her off by saying, “Who exactly are you?”

 

            She paused, took a deep breath, and then said, “Well, my name is Tammy Reynolds. I guess my involvement in all of this began about ten years ago, when I was about fifteen. I was pretty popular at my school and I always hung out with the same group of kids. We were all pretty bad kids…a lot like you and the type of kids who go through this program. Time and time again we’d drive our parents crazy by going out and getting drunk, doing drugs at parties, not really caring too much in school. Well, at least my friends didn’t. I managed to make pretty good grades despite my behavior.

 

            “We never really thought much about it, though. We were kids, so what if we weren’t perfect little angels, what did it matter? My boyfriend was the worst…he’d pick fights with anybody and he did so badly in school that he should have just dropped out. His parents were extremely worried about him, saying they were afraid that he would never amount to anything, and they hated him hanging around me and our friends.

 

            “For a while, everything was ok. But one day, my boyfriend didn’t show up to school. We just figured he was skipping again, but when we went to his house, he wasn’t there either. We didn’t see him for a few days. I would call his house but get no answer.

 

            “Me and my friends really began to get worried. We were afraid something had happened to him. Some of my friends said they still saw his parents around, so we knew it was just him. After about a week I couldn’t take it and one night I just went to his parents house, busted through the door, and started screaming at them, telling them to tell me where he was. At first they threatened to call the cops so I left. But I kept coming back, and I eventually realized they were too spineless to do anything about it, so one night I forced his mom to tell me.

            

            “All I got out of her was that they had sent him away to a ‘special’ school, called The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths. This meant nothing to me, but she said she had no idea where it was, and I couldn’t get anything else out of her.

 

            “Of course I was completely heartbroken and furious. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days, and I don’t think any of my friends could either. Even after talking to my boyfriend’s mom a few more times, I still couldn’t get anything else out of her.

 

            “Years passed. What could I do? The only thing was that I swore I’d find him and bust him out of whatever school he was at. I graduated from high school, and decided I wanted to work for the government to hopefully find out more about everything…that’s how strongly I felt about it.

 

            “Fortunately, one day, his parents contacted me and said that he was coming home. I was ecstatic; I rushed over to their house as fast as I could.

 

            “But the sight there was simply horrifying. I couldn’t believe my eyes; there my boyfriend was, about four years older than he was when I had last seen him. But that wasn’t all that was changed about him; I was dumbstruck as I saw him, strapped into a huge baby stroller and wearing baby clothes with a pacifier strapped in his mouth.

 

            “There were a few women with him, each acting just like he was a real baby. His parents seemed to be delighted, gleefully exclaiming how cute he was. Even some of our old friends who I hadn’t seen in years were there. But I couldn’t believe it; they weren’t comforting him, but laughing at him! I guess they hadn’t seen him for so long that they didn’t care about him any more.

 

            “I was filled with anger, panic and grief. ‘What the FUCK have you done to him?!’ I screamed. I completely lost control as I ran over to him, tears running down my face. As I looked at him, even though the pacifier was in his mouth, I could see in his eyes that he felt this was just as fucked up as I did. But he was helpless…he couldn’t do anything.

 

            “But the rest of the people didn’t seem to notice, and one of the women said ‘Now Tammy, calm down, you don’t want to make the baby fussy.’

 

            “ ‘What the fuck is wrong with you people?!’ I screamed. ‘He’s not a baby! He’s my boyfriend!’

 

            “But they just held me back and led me out of the house with me screaming at the top of my lungs, and by the time I made it back there again, he was gone.

 

            “I was filled with a new passion. I just had to find out where this place was and help him…he had nobody else. Using my new connections, I eventually found out about what the system was, and how it basically worked. I even found out how the nannies got there jobs there. For a few more grueling years, I went through the process to become a nanny, and I almost didn’t get the job.

 

            “It was horrible to me. I had never minded taking care of babies, but I was still extremely disgusted by the whole system. To pass the test, I had to take care of a teenage boy who acted exactly like a baby. I almost lost my cool; I felt so sorry for the poor kid. But he acted just like a real baby, and I managed to do everything for him.

 

            “Once I got the job, I had to wait a few weeks before I could do anything. It was a very hard time; I had to take care of a whole bunch of teenage babies before I even got a glimpse of my boyfriend.

 

            “Finally, I got a chance to see him. I was overwhelmed with joy at seeing him, but yet again I felt pity for him in his situation. As I got the chance to hold him, I expected him to just yell out to me or at least act surprised to see me. But to my utmost horror, he just looked at me exactly like a baby would. As I tried to get his attention, he just made babyish gurgles and happily sucked his thumb. I couldn’t believe it; just like all of the other kids, he had been turned into a baby.

 

            “I experienced heartbreak. After all of those years, I had finally found him, but he was now a baby. It was horrible. I almost just ran away, never wanting to come back to the completely fucked up nursery building. But even if he was basically a baby, I just couldn’t make myself leave the place. It was bittersweet the few times I got to take care of him. I was extremely happy just to be around him, but I couldn’t stand to see him as a helpless baby who needed me to feed him a baby bottle or change his diaper.

 

            “Eventually I learned more and more about the whole reconstruction system, how it worked, and how things went down. Every now and then a new kid would come in, but I never got a chance to talk with them. I not only would have been fired, but even possibly arrested. There was even a chance that I could have been thrown into the program (‘So there were programs for girls’, I thought).

 

            “So why am I still here? Because I couldn’t stand what happened to my boyfriend, and I wanted to do everything I could to take down this fucked up system and help the poor kids who went through it. Sure, they’re all messed up kids who need a lot of discipline, but no one deserves this. This program is inhumane and cruel.”

 

            “So what have you been doing to take down the program?” I asked.

 

            “Well,” she said. “It’s really tough. Legally, there’s nothing that can be done. The government does run it, and they keep it extremely well hidden. Only the people of the towns in which the programs are located know about them.”

 

            “Why the fuck don’t they do anything about it?” I asked. “Why do they act just like I’m a baby?”

 

            “Because they agree with the system,” she said. “The program spits out all of this propaganda to them, painting you kids as horrible criminals that would rob them or kill their children. They know you’re bad kids; they just think that this is a suitable punishment for you.”

 

            “And they keep outsiders out of this small town. Sure people pass through, but none ever find out about the program. They actually monitor these little visits like the ones you’ve been having so that people don’t find out.”

 

            “But hasn’t SOMEBODY told someone about the program?” I asked.

 

            “Yes, but no one ever believes them. It sounds preposterous, doesn’t it? And besides, the people in the town are told they’ll be arrested if they tell anyone and are caught. It scares people, and besides, they have no problem with the program anyway. And the people just tell their kids that the big boys treated like babies really like being treated like babies and are very happy about it. Even the girls up at the school don’t care. They either believe you like being a baby, or they think you’re a horrible criminal and think it’s extremely funny that you’re being treated like a baby and can’t do anything about it.”

 

            “So what can you do about all of this?” I asked hopelessly.

 

            “Well, it is possible to do something playing by their rules. In some cases, if a kid fights the decoding process long enough, they give him a chance to prove that the experience truly has changed him and that he’ll change his life for the better.

 

            “But he has to do a lot of things to prove this. They first get together a bunch of his old friends, family and teachers together. Footage of his stay at the program is shown, footage of him being bottle-fed, sleeping in a crib, playing with baby toys and teddy bears, and even having his diaper changed. While it is shown, he must admit that before the program, he was just a big baby, and the program treated him like one. He has to say that he totally deserved it and he was glad that it happened.

 

            “If he does all of that, as long as his parents consent, for a full month he has to let them treat him like a baby to prove the point. After that, he is potty-trained and brought back up to being a normal person again. He either has to re-enroll in school or get a job; if he fails to do well or resorts back to any of his old habits, he is thrown back into the program.”

 

            I was dumbstruck at hearing all of this. “So that’s the best case scenario?” I asked.

 

            “I know it’s extremely harsh, but it’s the only way out of all of this that I’ve found. So I’ve tried to help kids like you, Cody. I’ve tried to sneak them away from the cameras and tell them to fight the decoding system as long as they can. So far, none have lasted. I’ve only heard about kids being allowed to leave the program, I’ve never seen it happen.”

 

            As I tried to take all of this in, I couldn’t even think of anything to say.

            

            “Well Cody,” Tammy said. “I think we’re about out of time, I had better get you back. But remember, if you want a chance out of here, no matter what, you have to fight the decoding process. It’s the only way that you have a chance of doing anything. You’re already doing so well. I’ve never gotten a chance to talk to any kid like this, so I hope that it won’t be in vain.”

 

            I could only nod as I saw her wipe a tear away from her eye. Still speechless, I just sat there as she said, “Well, I guess we better put this back in.” She took my pacifier, put it in my mouth and strapped it around my head again.

 

            She began to wheel me out of the park, but as she did, two kids ran up to us. One was a boy, and the other was a girl. Both looked like they were about seven years old.

 

            “Look at the baby!” yelled the little girl.

 

            “He’s not very big. He’s in a baby stroller,” said the boy.

 

            “And he loves his pacifier,” Tammy said. I was shocked. ‘What the fuck?’ I thought.

 

            “He looks happy,” said the girl. Leaning closer she put her hand on my face and said, “Look at da cute wittle bay-bee boy!”

 

            “Does he wear …<giggle>…diapers?” asked the boy.

 

            “He sure does,” said Tammy. “Remember, Cody’s only a little baby, not a big boy like you.” I was appalled. What the hell was wrong with Tammy? I could feel my cheeks burning as the kids pressed on.

 

            “That’s right!” said the boy. “I’m a big boy”

 

            “And I’m a big girl!” said the girl. “I don’t have to wear diapers like the little baby there! He’s just a little baby!”

 

            “You’re exactly right,” said Tammy. “But it’s time for Cody’s nap right now, so I better put him in his crib.”

 

            “Make sure he has his blankie!” said the boy as Tammy rolled me away.

 

            “And his teddy bear!” yelled the girl.

 

            “Oh I will,” said Tammy.

 

            Once we were out of earshot, Tammy whispered, “Sorry about that. But I can’t arouse any suspicion, even with kids.”

 

            Understanding her point, I just sat back and relaxed as Tammy took me back to the main building. Once inside, she unstrapped me from the stroller, took out my pacifier, and carried me back to the nursery.

 

            After setting me down, she said, “Bye bye, BABY Cody,” she said with a wink before turning around and leaving me there with my head swimming with thoughts.

 

Part 10

 

            Unsurprisingly, all of the information Tammy had told me was the biggest thing on my mind. It looked like things were going in a positive direction for a change. Even though I had no idea what she was capable of doing, at least there was someone who was doing something in order to get me out of here. And she had managed to fool everybody this far, so she definitely had some skills.

 

            Her story was chilling. I could only imagine what it must be like to have someone you’re close to be turned into a baby. It reminded me how fucked up this program was. But it was even more chilling to think that that there was what looked to be a strong chance that I might be turned into the baby as well. I shuddered as I thought about Tammy’s boyfriend’s parents and how happy they had been to treat him like a baby. What if that was to be my future?

 

            I resolved to do what Tammy said and continue to fight the system no matter what. I now had hope, and as long as I managed to continue to refuse to give in, I could get out of here.

 

            On top of all of this, I couldn’t help but continue to think about what had happened during punishment level 4. Having a bunch of girls shove a baby bottle in your mouth and have a contest changing your diaper isn’t something that escapes your mind too quickly.

 

            But it was kind of funny; compared to punishment level 3, the day hadn’t been too hard. Sure, Molly was a fucking bitch, and it was pretty bad when I got spanked, but being babied by all of the girls hadn’t been all that bad (well, at least when compared to what I had already experienced). As weird as it felt, I was actually kind of used to having my diapers changed and being bottle-fed and spoon-fed. Having a bunch of girls do it instead of nannies wasn’t all that different, even if it was a whole group of them goggling at me.

 

            In fact, to my great surprise, it had actually been kind of nice compared to what I had already been through. I couldn’t shake the impression that the girls had genuinely liked me, even though it may have been in the same way they would have “liked” a baby. When I actually thought about it, I don’t know if I could remember anyone feeling like that towards me. I had never really had any serious girlfriends, most of them were just fuck-buddies. And I never felt my parents truly showed me any affection, even if they did worry about me all of the time. Even my friends always acted like bad asses and never really told me I was a good friend.

 

            Had it really been all that bad to get a lot of attention from all of those girls? Was getting my diaper changed by them really horrible? I suddenly remembered Tracy and felt a weird feeling in my stomach as I remembered her feeding me the bottle and putting the diaper on me. I began to wonder what it would be like if she did it again…

 

            With a jolt my train of thought completely shifted. What the fuck was I thinking? I didn’t want to be treated like a baby! It was fucking stupid! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ I thought.

 

            I began to wonder if that’s what punishment level 4 was meant to make me feel. Was I supposed to like the attention from the girls? Was getting my diaper changed supposed to be something enjoyable rather than humiliating? Maybe their goal was not to embarrass me, but to warm me up to being treated like a baby? Was this another trick to make me give into the system? I began to feel disgusted with myself for even considering getting pleasure out of the experience.

 

            Once again I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy. I didn’t know what to think anymore, what I was supposed to think or what I should think.

 

            Taking a deep breathe, I decided the one thing that always seemed to work was to stay calm. No matter what they wanted me to do, keeping my composure seemed to be the best way to resist the system.

 

            I thought of Johnny. Anger burned inside me when I pictured his devilish smile, and I deeply resented the fact that I was still taking his advice. I then wondered if he knew about Tammy and her whole agenda here. If so, why hadn’t he told me about her, and why hadn’t she ever mentioned him. I felt stupid that I hadn’t her about him or told her about my interactions with him.

 

            But then I decided I was glad I hadn’t said anything. I couldn’t see how it was possible that they knew about each other. And that meant that she wouldn’t try to help him get out, but she was helping me.

 

            ‘Good’ I thought. ‘Let his stupid ass stay here forever. He thinks he’s so damn smart, having figured out this damn system. Tammy will help me out of here and he’ll be stuck, forced to trick those damn nannies until they figure him out, and then his ass will be in deep shit. Yeah, that’s what’ll happen’.

 

            I began to think about the possibility of Tammy getting me out of here. As much as it sickened me to have to tell everyone I knew that I was a baby and that I deserved this (in addition to have my parents baby me for a month), but compared to the prospect of staying here, it sounded like a wonderful thing. I didn’t know if I could get my act together, but that would be something to worry about when I got there.

 

            ‘Or “if” I got there’ I reminded myself. I still had to fight the system until Tammy could get me out. And then I remembered that I still had punishment level 5 to deal with the next day. I couldn’t think of what else they could do to me, and given the relative ease of level 4, I kept myself from worrying too much.

 

            The rest of the day was basically the same old thing. It was hard to believe how much I had gotten used to the baby treatment, but at the same time it was hard to believe that any of this was actually happening at all. But it still felt kind of funny to think that having my diaper changed was just a regular day-to-day activity. But I wasn’t really complaining; it was kind of nice knowing that I didn’t experience hell every time I was forced to wear baby clothes or suck a pacifier.

 

            After all the other events of the day (which included a nap), I was put to bed (or “put to crib”, I guess). I dreamt many dreams that night.

 

            In one I was strapped into a stroller with a bunch of people all around me baby-talking me while I saw Tammy screaming “No, not Cody! What the fuck are you doing to him, he’s my boyfriend, not a baby!”

 

            In another one, I dreamt that Tammy had helped Johnny escape the system, and they both were outside the building, laughing at me while I was strapped in a high chair with baby food dribbling down my front. As I sat there crying, I heard Johnny say “I warned you, kid. I told you to get off me, but you didn’t, and now you’re gonna be a baby forever!”

 

            In the next one I dreamt that I was no longer being treated like a baby, but that I was my normal teenage self. I was in a classroom full of kids my age, and the teacher went out of the room and came back in rolling a baby stroller. In the stroller, completely with baby clothes and a pacifier, was Molly. I went over and laughed heartily while the teacher let me bottle feed her and change her wet diaper, and I made fun of her and baby-talked her the whole time, which made her face go red while the entire class laughed.

 

            In next one I dreamed that I was very small and that I was naked. I looked up and saw a giant Tracy, and she picked me up and said, “Let’s get the little baby into a clean diaper!” After she laid me down on a changing table she powdered and diapered me, and then she cradled me in her arms. As she sat down on a couch with me in her arms, she put a bottle in my mouth. I felt extremely happy and content as she rocked me in her arms, until suddenly…

 

            “Ok Cody, time for you to get up!”

 

            I opened my eyes and saw one of the nannies standing over my crib. After she un-strapped me, she said, “We better get you ready, you have a very, very big day ahead of you!”

 

            After I was spoon-fed in one of the nurseries (again, I knew resisting was pointless, so I didn’t), I realized that my diaper was wet. I cringed as I felt the soggy moistness of it against my skin; even though I was used to it, I still didn’t like it, especially because it reminded me of how little I could do in the situation. The future punishment loomed ahead of me and I knew that no matter what I did to fight it, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

 

            The nanny carried me into one of the bathrooms and removed my wet diaper. She proceeded to bathe me like they always did, but once I was dry, things changed a little bit. After the nanny put me down on my back onto one of the changing areas in the bathroom, she took out a little bottle filled with liquid. She squirted some lotion into her hand, and began to rub it on my shaven chest and stomach. I didn’t know what to think about it, so I didn’t say anything. As she proceeded to do the same to my thighs, I took a whiff of the stuff. It smelled kinda sweet, and (as much as I hated to say it) babyish. It felt kind of funny when she started rubbing it onto my dick and my balls, so I involuntarily flinched. She gave me a quick slap on my thigh to make me stay still, and thinking that defying her would not be a good way to start the day off, I stayed still and let her work. She finished by rubbing some of the lotion onto my ass.

 

            Next came some baby powder, which I was of course completely used to. However, like the lotion, she not only put some of the powder on my privates and ass, but onto my chest, stomach, and thighs as well. I was confused by this, and the only clue I got was her saying “We need the baby to smell baby fresh for his big day!”

 

            She then turned away from me and opened one of the cupboards in the bathroom. When she turned back around, I let out a very nervous gulp when I saw what she had in her hand. It was a diaper.

 

            Now I’m sure you’re thinking “So what? It’s just a diaper.” I had been wearing diapers for a decent amount of time by now. But this was not an ordinary diaper. It just looked, well, BIG.

 

            By big I guess I mean thick. I was used to cloth diapers that we about an inch thick. But this thing looked like a good three inches thick. But before I could think anything else, the nanny had grabbed my ankles, quickly placed the diaper underneath my butt and pulled me down over it. While I was still in shock she grabbed the ends of it and folded it over my waist. Grabbing two big diaper pins (by big I mean like, six inches long), she very tightly pinned the really think diaper around my waist. Before I knew it, I was trapped in the hugest diaper that I had ever seen.

 

            A couple of things really shocked me about it. First of all, it was, I guess the best word for it is…fluffy. It was extremely soft despite being so thick. But I also noticed the thickness. I really couldn’t even feel the table I was on with my butt or upper thighs, and it was so big that I couldn’t even really push my legs together. And on top of all of this was the cover of the diaper. Amazingly, it felt very much like a pair of plastic pants, only softer. There was a slight reflection off of the white, plastic surface of the diaper. And I also noticed that there were little patterns of teddy bears on it as well.

 

            Without even thinking, I blurted out “What is this thing?!”

 

            The nanny just smiled and said, “This is our special diaper for special babies who need to be reminded of their place. And it’s a very big diaper for a very big baby, like you Cody!”

 

            As much as I resented her comments, for some reason the next thing I thought and said was “Well how are you going to get any more clothes on over it?” (Funny the things that enter your mind in situations like these. I just finished having this huge diaper put on me and the only thing I can think about is how more clothes are going to fit over it)

 

            “Oh you don’t need to worry about that little fella,” the nanny said with a smile. Without saying anything else, she turned back to the cupboard. When she finished digging around a bit she emerged with another piece of clothing. Not only was this a piece of baby clothing that I had not yet worn, I don’t think that I had ever seen anything like it, even on real babies.

 

            It basically a coat, but it was light blue, pretty thin, and looked like it was made out of satin; like my diaper, I could see a little bit of light reflecting off of it. It had babyish little buttons down the front of it, and it had a pocket with a teddy bear on it on its right side.

 

            While I just lay there dumbstruck, she un-strapped me, sat me up, and slipped my arms into the sleeves that went all the way down to my wrists. She buttoned up the coat, and I noticed the feel of it. It was short enough that it didn’t cover my diaper at all, and like the diaper, it felt very soft up against my arms, chest, back and stomach. If it didn’t look so damn babyish, it actually would have been kind of comfortable.

 

            She told me not to move, and as much as I wanted to because of how stupid I felt in this dumb little jacket and huge diaper, I knew that it would just lead to more trouble. It was pure hell forcing myself to comply while I sat there feeling like an idiot. But we weren’t done yet.

            

            The nanny once again rummaged through the cupboard and came back with more baby clothes. I first thought that she had pulled out some socks, but then I noticed that they weren’t made out of the same material. As she slipped them onto my feet, I noticed that they only covered my feet and the bottom of my ankles, and that they felt like they were made out of the same material as my diaper. They were white and it felt like they were half an inch thick. She finished by taking a light blue ribbon and tying bows around each of my ankles.

 

            I was again felt horribly immature as she continued. Next was a pacifier, which was light blue and quite a bit bigger than the normal ones. She put the large nipple into my mouth and tied it around my head. It covered my mouth completely and the large ring on the front was large enough that it was the size to me that a normal pacifier is to a baby, if that makes any since.

 

            There was only one more piece of clothing, but it was probably the one that I loathed the most. The nanny emerged with what I immediately recognized as a baby bonnet. The other bits had been really bad, but this one struck me as particularly wussy for some reason. The edges on the front of it were really frilly and I let out some tiny whimpers around my pacifier as she began to fit it around my head. I tried to pull my head away, but before I knew it, she had fitted the whole thing around my head and began to tie the strings on both sides together. What really made it bad was that the “strings” on either side were pretty big, so that the bow that she had tied around my chin was so big that it almost looked like I was wearing a white bow tie.

 

            When this was done, she took a step back and said, “Why, you’re the most beautiful baby that I’ve ever seen! You’re simply adorable!” This sickened me and I gave her a nasty look until she picked me up and forced me to look at myself in the mirror. Had the pacifier not been in my mouth, my jaw would have dropped. I was quite a site; I had fluffy little baby booties with ribbons on my feet, the light blue baby jacket gleamed softly in the light, my huge pacifier made my cheeks bulge slightly so that my face looked chubby, the frilly bonnet and huge bow simply astounded me, and on top of it all, I had a huge diaper pinned around my waist my two huge safety pins.

 

            The sight of myself made my eyes tear up. This wasn’t just because I felt like a wussy little idiot and it was extremely embarrassing; that was bad enough by itself. But what really made it horrible for me was that as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t help but agree with the nanny; I found myself cute. I didn’t know why I felt like this, but no matter how hard I tried to just say that I looked stupid and nothing else, I couldn’t help but feel like I looked soft, cuddly and adorable.

 

            I guess the nanny was satisfied with my tears, because she just smiled and took me out of the room. After going down the hall, she took me into one of the nurseries. As soon as we entered, I felt the room go silent and it felt like all the eyes in the room were on me. It was a really weird sensation, but before I knew it, every nanny in the room stopped what they were doing and raced over to see me.

 

            Their behavior was so horrible that it was scary. Until now, even though they never missed a chance to degrade me and talk about how much of a baby I was, they always struck me as pretty professional. But now, it was almost like they weren’t even grown women any more; they acted just like the girls at the school had. All at once they surrounded me and started doing all kinds of things to me. They pinched my cheeks, talked gibberish and baby talk, goggled and let out “ooh’s” and “aww’s”, passed me around so they each got a chance to hold me and bounce me up and down, and commented on the cuteness of me and my clothes. As much as I didn’t want to, the treatment made me cry, but none of them took notice; they just continued with their actions towards me. Even some of the kids in the room pointed at me and giggled.

 

            When it was finally over, the nannies went back to their jobs, and the nanny who had brought me in took me back out. I was still whimpering around my pacifier, but she took no notice as she carried me down the hall and into the stroller room. I was so distraught that I didn’t even resist as she strapped me into the stroller (I still fit despite my huge diaper. I also realized why the size of the diaper didn’t conflict with my clothes; for the first time in public, I would be going out with nothing but a diaper and booties covering me from the waist down).

 

            Once I realized that I was trapped in and that I would be forced to go out in public dressed like this, I began to violently struggle. But it was useless, and to my surprise, the nanny just laughed at my vain attempts of escape. “Aww, wittle Cody is being fussy. That’s ok little guy, get out all of your energy. And if you need to go wee wee or poo poo, just go ahead, your diaper will still hold it. But I don’t know why I’m telling you that, it’s not like babies can control their pee or their poop anyway!” She then let out a laugh that further signified my situation.

 

            As she got behind me and started to push me, she said, “And I know how much you love your blankie, but I think we’ll go without it this time. We want everyone to see your adorable new clothes now, don’t we? But wait, I can’t let you go without something for you to cuddle with. Little babies get fwightened if they don’t have something to make them feel safe. Since we won’t have your blankie, I know just the thing.”

 

            She left me there for a few minutes and when she came back, she had a teddy bear in her arms. But it wasn’t just any bear; it was Timmy, MY teddy bear. The nanny tucked Timmy in the stroller with me so everyone could see him in plain view. This added insult to my injury not only because it was yet another embarrassing baby item, but because it was true; I did get comfort from Timmy, just like a baby would. I felt like I a normal high school kid who still slept with a teddy bear for comfort and that I was being forced to walk around my high school for a day holding him, letting everyone know that I still needed a teddy bear to get to sleep.

 

            I felt nervousness and anxiety like I never had before as the nanny rolled my stroller out into the warm, bright, sunny day and the rest of punishment level 5.

 

            I didn’t know where we were going, but just like before, we headed out across the street like we had the previous two times. Like before, she rolled me along a sidewalk, and also like before, there were plenty of people roaming the streets.

 

            But as bad as the previous two public trips had been, this one easily topped it as being the worst. You would think that I would be used to public humiliation like this by now, but it was just something about these damn new fancy baby clothes that brought my suffering to a whole new level. They made me feel so prissy (even for a baby), and I completely hated everything about them. I don’t know what was the worst: the stupid frilly baby bonnet, my huge diaper with it’s completely oversized diaper pins, or the fact that my teddy bear was squeezed in right beside me.

 

            And I definitely didn’t luck out as far as people’s reactions went. I had a distant hope that they would have lost interest in me after two previous visits, but this was not the case. In fact, they were actually more interested. It seemed like every single person had to stop what they were doing and take a look at me, and it seemed like each one didn’t leave for at least a couple of minutes. Everyone (but especially the women) talked in these horrible baby voices that made me feel about two inches tall, and they all seemed to want to pinch my cheeks or tickle me. Almost all of them commented on my clothes, remarking about how they made me look so adorable or how they knew it must be for a special occasion. They often laughed at the size of my diaper and made comments about it, and many of them let out an “aww” at the sight of my teddy bear.

 

            I didn’t know exactly why they reacted in the way that they did, but I guessed it was either (A) the sight of my clothes and condition really did interest them more than before (especially since they probably hadn’t seen too many kids go through level 5), or (B) the people at the program had previously told them to act the way they did so that this punishment would be worse for me the last two.

 

            After what I was sure was about an hour’s worth of babyish taunting, the nanny finally rolled me and my stroller to our destination, which turned out to be (once again) the Catholic school where I had previously gone. Despite my condition, I still noticed that the outside area was completely devoid of any girls.

 

            The nanny rolled me in through the same building as before, but the halls also seemed to be particularly quiet. We went past the room that I had gone before but we did not go in, and from the sound of it, the room was empty. I wandered if perhaps it was a weekend or something and none of the girls or teachers were here. But if that was the case, then why was I here?

 

            As we went further down the hall, I found out that the school was in fact not deserted. Although I couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on, a heard a large murmur of female voices behind a set of double doors on one side of the hall. But the nanny did not roll me in through the doors; we just kept on going.

 

            Eventually we went out the building, turned, and went alongside another wall of the same building. We reached a door, and after opening it, the nanny pushed my stroller through it to reach a room inside.

 

            I immediately recognized that we were in a large auditorium, and by the loud murmur of voices that I heard, I knew that this was the room that we had just passed. After going in, I realized that we must have been on the stage of the auditorium, on one of the sides. However, we must have been hidden from the seats. I could still hear a lot of the clearly female voices, and from the sound of it, I had found out where all of the girls were. I couldn’t see any of them, though, but from the sound of it, I guessed that the whole school must have been in the auditorium. My stomach lurched as I estimated that there must have been a couple hundred girls right on the opposite side of the curtains hiding me from their view.

 

            For a few grueling minutes I just had to sit there and do nothing while the nanny left me. But after those few minutes, she came back and rolled me around to a new position. I was still hidden from the crowd, but now I had a clear view of the stage, and to my surprise, a huge screen that was hanging up in the background behind it.

 

            As I watched on, a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties walked up to the podium that was on the stage. She looked kind of pretty, with long brown hair tied behind her in a pony-tail and a face that was slightly pale but completely devoid of wrinkles. She was wearing a black business suit, but it just looked really formal, not weird.

 

            Leaning into the microphone, the woman smiled and said, “All right, ladies, settle down, settle down.” As the talking died down, the woman began to speak again.

 

            “I, Mrs. Angela Walker, head of this very school, want to welcome all of the students here to a very special day. Today we have a special guest who is enrolled into a program that is just as prestigious and honorable as this one.”

 

            I realized that the guest must have been none other than me, and I thought ‘Bullshit’ when I heard the word honorable. But I was so nervous that I didn’t think anything else of it.

 

            “It is hard for me to give a good description of our guest,” Mrs. Walker continued. “I can say that he very, very special, and that he is learning and experiencing many new things in his program. Having said that, I think I will just let this video presentation say the rest. If you will, gentlemen.” She made a hand motion towards the opposite end of the auditorium and then walked off of the stage in the opposite direction.

 

            I felt my body freeze up with anxiety and fright as I saw the lights of the room dim and a bright light covering the screen. And before I knew it, the video presentation had begun, and I was completely dumbstruck from the beginning to the end…

 

            It began with a woman’s voice and a series of pictures. The voice began: “Meet Luke Cody Stephens. At first, he may have appeared to be a regular, sweet, mild-tempered little baby, and most likely at this point in his life, he was.”

 

            As the woman spoke, I saw pictures of a little baby boy flash up on the screen. As I watched, I realized that I recognized the pictures and the baby in them; it was me! I know I had seen them in old photo albums.

 

            The voice continued. “However, ‘Cody’ soon grew up to be a very naughty little boy. Despite his parents constant love and caring that they provided for him, he was growing into a selfish, obnoxious brat who thought he was bigger and better than those who tried to guide him in the proper direction that young men should go. Before he was even ten years old, he was causing constant problems at school, being an overall bully, stealing, smoking cigarettes, and even vandalizing public property.”

 

            As I watched on in horror, I felt large surges of anger. While the voice played, video footage was shown. In it, a boy that looked about eight or nine was shown pushing other boys around, yelling at teachers, smoking cigarettes and doing grafitti on a school building. I was outraged; even though the kid kinda looked like a younger me, it was obviously footage of some other kid. Even though the woman’s voice wasn’t particularly inaccurate, I felt the crowd was getting a very biased view of the way that I had grown up, and on top of it, they were framing me by showing false footage.

 

            “As a young teenager,” the voice continued, “Cody continued to behave more and more naughtily. The childish boy began to constantly get into fights in dangerous environments, actively abuse alcohol in ways that he was not prepared for, and treating girls with no respect at all. He constantly defied authority and didn’t know what was good for him.”

 

            As more footage of a slightly older boy was shown doing these things, I heard the many of the girls’ gasp in shock or boo in anger. My blood was boiling at how unfair this video was portraying me. Sure, I had done some bad things, but this was a very one-sided presentation of them.

 

            “To no surprise, Cody’s parents and teachers had no idea what they could do to get this naughty little boy to grow up and stop behaving like a childish brat,” the voice went on. “Fortunately, they found out about a program that would help him achieve both of those goals, even if the ‘growing up’ took a little bit longer than anticipated, and his actions would most likely continue to be childish while enrolled in the program. The name of this program is ‘The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths’.” At this point a picture of the program’s building was shown. “Here, Cody would begin his new journey of learning to behave properly.

 

            “Of course, like many troubled young children like Cody, at first Cody resisted changing his ways. Naughty little children like Cody tend to be stubborn and refuse to change, very much like young babies refuse to make the change from using diapers to using a potty.”

 

            As the voice went on, I was shocked to see more video footage. But unlike the previous footage, the boy in this footage actually was me. But that’s what made it so shocking. I was just left in amazement as I saw clips from my first day at the program. There I was, still clad in my normal clothes, but I was shown making snide comments to McPherson and yelling in anger as he tried to put my collar around my neck.

 

            I heard a large murmur of laughter as the voice made the “diaper/potty” comparison, and also as footage was shown of me being forced to the ground. The voice continued to go on as footage was shown of me being dragged across the floor, being strapped down onto the table, and being stripped naked (to my relief my privates were blurred out…It was a Catholic school, after all).

 

            “Because Cody was acting like a baby by resisting this necessary change, the workers at the program knew that that was the way that he should be treated. In fact, the comparison of Cody being like a baby refusing to give up diapers is quite a fitting one, because Cody would now be back in diapers full time.”

 

            As these words were spoken, I felt myself start to get sick as I saw footage of me lying on the table, but this time I was wearing a disposable diaper with baby patterns on it. Tears streamed down my face in the footage as I struggled violently to free myself of the plastic prison.

            

            My current body was numb with shock as I watched; I never realized that they were taping me during that whole time. The earlier murmur of laughter from the girls could not even compare the tumultuous laughter of them seeing me lying there in a diaper. It seemed like the walls were shaking because of their howls of laughter, and I even heard a few “Aww”s in between them.

 

            But the voice continued. “At the beginning of his life, Cody was a cute, sweet innocent baby. But while he grew out of his innocence, he never grew out of his infantile behavior. So the directors of the program decided that he would be forced to grow out of it. But since he was so keen to act like a baby, they decided he must first be treated like one again. Cody would be returned back to his original baby state and eventually grow out of his baby behavior like he should have. He is still in the process of doing so currently.”

 

            As she spoke, footage was shown of me being dressed in a footed sleeper by the nurse, having a pacifier put in my mouth, and being carried “like a baby” out of the tiny room. The girls’ laughter and “Aww”s continued as they listened to what the voice had to say.

 

            “It took Cody time to adjust to his new baby lifestyle. Cody didn’t even realize that in reality he was still a baby and that he had to be treated like one. But Cody soon found out many things about babies like himself. He realized that as a baby, he must be bottle-fed from his baby bottle, take naps in his crib, be given baths by his caregivers, suck his pacifier to get to sleep, have his wet and dirty diapers changed, and be spoon-fed baby food from his high chair.”

 

            To my utmost horror, footage was shown of me doing each of these activities while the voice described them, even though in each one it looked as though I was resisting the treatment as much as I could. It was terribly awkward to see myself suck a pacifier and be bottle-fed, and I wanted nothing else than to die as the girls’ laughter and awwing seemed to be growing stronger with each clip.

 

            “A few times Cody needed some extra reminders about what a baby he was,” the voice continued. “And he learned that bad little babies must be spanked. Cody didn’t like his treatment, so of course, like many babies do, he threw a temper tantrum when he didn’t get his way.”

            

            Things got even worse as footage was shown of being screaming in anger as a nanny gave me a spanking. This of course resulted in the loudest burst of laughter yet.

 

            “But don’t think that Cody is really a bad little baby boy. Like most babies like himself, Cody just needed a little time to understand the fact that he was a baby. Once he began to understand the truth, he started to accept it. And once he accepted it, he began to enjoy it.”

 

            As these words were spoken, I felt even worse as footage was shown of me playing with some of the toy cars. I had had no idea that that stuff would ever be shown to anybody, and I felt even more humiliated by my actions.

 

            The girls continued to aww (although surprisingly enough, they didn’t laugh) as more footage was shown. Unlike the previous clips, in all of these I looked happy. I was shown asleep in my crib, but to my surprise I had a wide smile on my face while sucking my pacifier. I was shown giggling one time while I had my diaper changed, and I truly looked content as I was being bottle-fed in one clip.

 

            “Cody even managed to find a couple of friends, one of which was a very good little baby named Johnny.” Clips were shown of me and Johnny being spoon fed and having our diapers changed together, although to my relief there was none of us having normal conversations (although come to think of it, those would probably just look like two babies talking baby-talk to one another anyway, since none of the clips had any sound).

 

            “But Cody found a friend who was even more special to him. This is none other than his teddy bear.”

 

            I felt a deep surge of shame as the next bit of footage was shown. There I was, sprawled across on a blanket, one hand clutching Timmy tightly to my body, the other pressing my thumb into my mouth. This one resulted in a truly astonishingly loud echo of “Aww”s, the loudest one yet. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I watched.

 

            “As you can see, Cody has now accepted his new babyhood, and as you can see, he is quite a happy little baby. Don’t blame Cody for his past actions; he was just simply a baby who refused to grow up. But now he has the chance to go back and do it right, and one day he will grow up from being a sweet little baby boy to a fine young gentlemen.”

 

            To my huge relief, the truly terrible presentation was finally over. The screen went blank and the lights filled the room. Murmurs broke out among the girls and I could here them all excitedly chattering about what they had just seen.

 

            Mrs. Walker went back up to the podium, and after quieting the girls, said, “So as you can see, Cody is a very special person. Some of you have been fortunate enough to meet Cody already, but I hope that you all now truly understand and appreciate why Cody is so special. For those of you who have already met him, you already know what a little sweetheart Cody is. But for the rest of you, you will now get the chance. Without further ado, I give you….BABY CODY!”

 

            To my surprise, the crowd broke out into applause. But before I knew it, I felt my stroller being pushed forward onto the stage. I would have given my right arm to make the nanny stop, turn the stroller around and take me out of that place. But I was completely helpless, and before I could think any more thoughts, I was pushed beyond the curtain and found myself looking at a couple hundred teenage girl faces, all staring at me.

 

            To make matters even worse, a man with a video camera emerged, and I quickly glanced up at the screen. There I was, in my stroller wearing a bonnet and a huge diaper (among other things) with my teddy bear right beside me. Between the close-up on the screen and me actually being there on stage, the girls couldn’t help but point at me, let out more laughter, but more than anything, continue to let out those deeply humiliating “Aww”s. I could even here a few remarks made by some of them on the front row, catching words like “pacifier”, “teddy bear”, “bonnet” and “diaper”.

 

            The nanny wheeled me around to face the crowd directly as Mrs. Walker came over to me. By this point tears were simply streaming down my face; I simply couldn’t help it. But Mrs. Walker just smiled down at me and softly chucked my chin, saying, “My, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful baby in my entire life.”

 

            As I continued to sob, Mrs. Walker went back to the podium and said, “Now don’t you worry about Cody, girls. He’s not really upset, it’s just that babies often get frightened by large crowds with lots of noise. It’s only his pacifier that’s preventing him from letting out his earsplitting little baby cries,” she added with a laugh.

 

            “But I think we can find ways to cheer baby Cody up. I’ve arranged opportunities for many of you to meet Cody after our presentation. But for now, one of you lucky girls will get the chance to meet Cody on stage and give the rest of us a brief display in baby-care.”

 

            If anything could have made me feel worse, that was it. I just continued to sob as I saw a few people bring out a few pieces of furniture, among them a table with a baby-bottle, a spoon, and some baby food on it, a high chair, and a crib. The only relief that I got was that nowhere in sight was a changing table, diapers, or any diaper changing supplies. While this was happening, Mrs. Walker continued to talk.

 

            “If each of you look underneath your chair, you will find a piece of paper with a number on it. The girl whose number matches the one I call out will be able to come up here and get a chance to show us how to take care of Cody. You will show how to tuck him into his crib, feed him a bottle, and then spoon feed him some baby food. Don’t worry, if you don’t know how, someone will be up here to help you. You will also get a chance to share any thoughts that you may have about Cody and his situation.

 

            “Ok, well, the winning number is…85!” As the crowd broke out into applause, one of the girls rose from her seat. As she walked down the aisle up to the stage, my heart did a small jump; to my great surprise and delight, it was none other than Tracy! At least one thing had gone right today.

 

            Walking up on stage, Tracy was all smiles. As she walked by me, she gave me a small pat on the head, but that was it. However, something about the way she looked at me just made me feel OK about the whole situation. She continued to walk up the podium, and whispered something to Mrs. Walker.

 

            Mrs. Walker leaned into the microphone and said, “Oh! Tracy tells me that she’s one of the girls who has already met Cody. Well, Tracy, do you have anything you’d like to say about Cody before we start?”

 

            Tracy leaned into the microphone and said, “Yes, I do. I just wanted to say that Cody truly is a very special boy, and that I’ve already learned a lot about life through my experiences with him. I believe that one day he will be one of the finest young men in the whole world!”

 

            With this, the entire place burst into applause. Even I managed to make myself stop crying when I heard her speak. What she had done was truly classy. If you just looked at her words, it could have been her talking about a fourteen-year old me. But at the same time, there was nothing in her words that gave any implication to anyone else there that she viewed me as anything but a baby. But I knew that she was only doing that to humor everyone else, and that she didn’t just think of me as a real baby.

 

            Once she was done, Mrs. Walker said, “How nice! Well, because you’ve dealt with Cody before, I don’t think you’ll need anything help in your demonstration. Why don’t you begin by showing us how you would put Cody down for a nap?”

 

            “With pleasure,” she said. She then walked over towards me. She gently un-strapped the restraints that held me into the stroller, and she picked me up and held me in her arms with ease, smiling towards me the whole time. After carrying me over to the crib (which had a blanket and a pillow in it), she softly laid me down inside, my head resting on the pillow. She went back over to the stroller and grabbed Timmy the teddy bear. She gave him to me, and I gladly took a hold of him in my arms (I know, it sounds weird that I was taking this so well, but I was in a very funny state of mind, and between Tracy and Timmy, I couldn’t help but be at least a little happy). She then took a hold of the blanket and snugly tucked me in. The camera man had been following us the whole time, so when she was done, the whole audience burst into applause again. During the uproar, Tracy whispered to me “There, that wasn’t too bad, was it?” She then gave me a wink.

 

            After the clapping died down, Mrs. Walker leaned over the microphone and said, “Very nicely done! He looks like a very happy baby! Now, next up, we’ll have you…”

 

            But she was cut off by a voice yelling from the crowd. “Wait just one second!” the voice said. Even from my position in the crib, I could see two girls walking up the aisle. As the whole crowd looked on in shock, the two girls walked up on the stage. To my great disdain, I recognized one of them as being none other than Molly, the stupid blonde bitch, and what looked to be one of her extremely snobby friends.

 

            “What is the meaning of this?” asked Mrs. Walker into the microphone.

 

            “Mrs. Walker,” Molly said, seizing the microphone. “Tracy stole my number! I was number 85, but right after you called it, Tracy grabbed it from me and came racing up here!”

 

            “That’s not true!” yelled Tracy angrily.

 

            “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Because Kathy here saw it too!” squealed Molly.

 

            “Yeah, Molly’s telling the exact truth!” said Kathy. “Tracy stole it!”

 

            “Tracy, is this true?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Of course not!” answered Tracy.

 

            “Can anyone verify that you didn’t?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Well…no…but…”

 

            “Well, in that case, I have no choice but to agree with Molly.”

 

            “No!” yelled Tracy.

 

            “Oh come now,” Mrs. Walker said. “Even if you didn’t, you already got a turn with Cody. Why not give Molly a chance?”

 

            ‘No!’ I thought desperately. ‘Anything but that!’

 

            Tracy objected again, but Mrs. Walker wouldn’t have it. She had one of the men take Tracy back to her seat. She had no choice but to comply, and she shot me a look as if to say “I’m sorry”.

 

            The crowd murmured as Tracy and Kathy returned to their seats. As this happened, Molly leaned over my crib, gave me a devilish smile and whispered, “Well, little baby, now you’ll learn not to pee on me! Time to treat you like the baby you are!”

 

            Mrs. Walker got back on the microphone and said, “Well then, in that case, Molly, do YOU have anything you would like to say about Cody!”

 

            “Why yes!” Molly squeaked in a very annoying, prissy voice. “I just wanted to say that Cody has taught me that taking care of babies can be very trying and difficult. In class we practiced taking care of Cody, and not only was he very fussy when we tried to feed him, but I had to change one of his POOPY diapers. And he is quite a little stinker, let me tell you!”

 

            My cheeks burned with shame. The stupid bitch! That never happened. However, the crowd just laughed loudly again at her comments. Even Mrs. Walker couldn’t help but giggle.

 

            “Well, at least you won’t have to worry about changing his poopy diapers today!” Mrs. Walker said. “However, I would like you to show us how to bottle-feed and burp him.”

 

            “With pleasure,” she said, mocking Tracy. As she walked over to the crib, I was tempted to make some kind of run for it, but I knew I would never make it, and I got a sudden vision of being spanked by a nanny in front of the entire school, so I regretfully decided just to play along. Molly quickly pulled away the blanket covering me and then grabbed me and forcefully threw me over her shoulder. As she carried me over to a chair, which she sat down in. She untied my pacifier, and as she pinned it to the front of my jacket, I had a huge urge to bite her. But I refrained as she was handed the baby bottle filled with milk.

 

            Molly had someone hold a microphone up to her face as the camera man did a close up on us. She shoved the nipple of the bottle in my mouth and forced me to drink. I just wanted this horrible ordeal over with as soon as possible, so I felt myself go red as I began to down the milk as fast as possible. Unfortunately, as I did so, Molly jabbered on into the microphone.

 

            “…but don’t get me wrong, I do think Cody is super-duper adorable. Just look at his cute little bonnet! And those booties are just precious! And of course he’s wearing his super thick diaper because he’s quite a heavy wetter! It was quite hard to pin his diaper over his cute little bottom when I was changing him the other day since he was squirming around so much on the changing table. Babies often do that, if you haven’t noticed, I really am quite expert at taking care of them…”

 

            I just tried my hardest to block out her remarks and the resulting laughter and “Aww”s from the crowd. At long last, the bottle was finished, and Molly removed it from my mouth. She stood up, threw me over her shoulder and began to forcefully pat my back. After about six pats, with the microphone pressed to my face, I let out a burp that made the whole audience laugh once again.

 

            With that done, she carried me over to the high chair and pulled down the front of it, pinning my arms to the side. She excitedly tied a bib around my neck, letting the crowd know what a messy eater I was. After sitting down in front of me, she opened up the jar of baby food. Again, I just wanted to end this, but she made it ten times worse than it should have been. She had to smear the crap all over my face and bib, but she conveniently blocked the camera at the right times so it probably looked like I was the one making the mess. She continued to talk about what a handful I could be and how sometimes I would cry because I didn’t have my blankie or teddy, followed by more talks about her expertise at babysitting.

 

            Finally though, it was over, and after wiping my mouth with my bib, Molly took it off and took me out of the high chair. I was just glad the whole thing was over, and I was looking forward to her getting the hell out of there.

 

            But she had one more display of bitchery left in her. She had been holding me with one hand underneath my diapered butt, and with someone putting the microphone to her face, she began to giggle and said into the microphone, “Uh, Mrs. Walker? I think Cody…well…he, uh…I think he went poo poo in his diaper!”

 

            I think the loudest outburst of laughter for the day followed that remark, as well as a chorus of “Eww”s. Mrs. Walker walked over and put a finger into the thigh of my extremely thick diaper. After a few seconds, she said, “I don’t think he did, Molly. I don’t smell or feel anything. He seems dry to me!”

 

            “Oops, my mistake!” Molly said. I sneered at the stupid bitch as she put me back into my stroller. As she left, one of the nannies took my pacifier and put it back in my mouth, tying it around the outside of my bonnet this time. After stuffing Timmy back in with me, she wheeled me off the stage.

 

            “Everyone tell Cody bye!” Mrs. Walker said. “But remember, for those of you who would like to see Cody again, just go to room 104. He’ll be there, and I even think we can arrange to have a few pictures taken!”

 

            I just wanted so badly for this all to be over and to be able to go back to the nursery (I never thought I’d ever want to go back there). But I was rolled into the room, and soon after, an extremely long line of girls were lined up outside.

 

            I had to endure about two hours worth of their attention. Each one found me extremely cute and they each took turns passing me around, pinching my cheeks, commenting on my clothes and talking baby-talk. And it seemed like they all had cameras, and they took turns taking pictures of each one of them holding me in their arms while I sucked my pacifier and clutched Timmy. After those two grueling hours, I thought I would be done, but there was one more huge task for me to endure.

 

            You see, it had been a long time since breakfast, and remember, I hadn’t gotten my diaper changed since the morning. So during these two hours, I wet my diaper. Even though it looked weird, my diaper did its job and didn’t leak.

 

            But to my utmost horror, at the end of the two hours, almost all of the girls were still there, and the nanny, noticing I was wet, said, “Uh-oh girls, looks like someone has a wet diaper! Does anyone want to stick around and see how you change a wet diaper?”

 

            I almost fainted at this news, especially since all of the girls giggled with delight as they wanted nothing more than to see me have my diaper changed. It was horrible, especially since the nanny explained everything in detail while she changed me. I was kind of used to public changes since I had done so many the day before, but on top of everything else I had experienced that day (plus the constant girl giggling and long nanny diaper changing explanations), this was pure hell. After telling the girls how to unpin a diaper, wipe the baby, and powder him, she pinned on another extremely thick diaper around my waist. The experience was so horrible that I had started crying uncontrollably again.

 

            The girls were a little alarmed, so the nanny just said, “Uh-oh, poor Cody is fussy, he must be very sweepy, he hasn’t had a nap all day! I think it’s time to say good-bye girls.” After saying their good-byes, the girls finally left, and soon after, the nanny was rolling me out of the school, with me still crying around my pacifier.

 

            I managed to calm down sometime on the trip home, and to my great relief, nobody on the street seemed interested in me. We got back to the main building with nothing happening, and the nanny took me back into the original bathroom that she had dressed me in.

 

            Piece by piece she took off all of my special clothing and put it in a hamper. She taped a normal disposable diaper on me (to be honest it felt so nice compared to that damn thick one), and then put me in another sleeper. She then picked me up and carried me into a crib room. After strapping me in for the afternoon, she just looked at me and said, “Well, now, Cody, I hope you’ve learned a lesson from all of this. Face it, you are just a little baby, and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will become a happy little baby.” With that, she left and turned out the light.

 

            I was so mentally and physically worn out that I fell asleep almost instantly. For some crazy reason I didn’t have any dreams during my nap, and when I woke up, it almost felt like punishment 5 had just been a dream.

 

            Soon after another nanny came in and un-strapped me. She picked me up and took me into one of the nurseries (the first one I had ever been in, in fact). She set me down on the floor, and to my great surprise, she gave me Timmy. I didn’t know what to think as she just left me there, Timmy still in my arms. I was definitely a bit dumbstruck and groggy since I had just gotten up.

 

            But then all of a sudden a whole flood of thoughts and memories from the day rushed into my mind. All at once my mind was flanked with images, images such as seeing myself dressed in my jacket, booties, bonnet and huge diaper in the mirror, the horde of nannies that had surrounded me that morning in the nursery, the huge crowds of people in the street, the horrible video piece that had completely lied and painted me as someone completely different, Molly’s constant jabbering about how cute I looked, her lie about me shitting my diaper, and having my huge diaper changed in detail in front of all of the girls, to name a few.

 

            I don’t know how all of this happened, but it caused some kind of a mental breakdown within me. I panicked, not knowing what to do or where to go. Without thinking I clutched Timmy tightly against my chest and quickly crawled over to a light blue blanket lying on the floor, making babyish grunts and whimpers as I did so.

 

            I grabbed the blanket and using my right arm I held both the blanket and Timmy tightly against my body. Involuntarily I shoved my left thumb straight into my mouth and began to suck on it furiously. This helped greatly in calming me down, but my mind continued to be overrun with all of those horrible images of the day. Tears began to rush down my face and I felt the salty taste of them come around my thumb and into my mouth. I began to rock back and forth, my thumb muffling my cries into soft babyish whimpers. I felt scared and alone, and the only things that gave me any comfort were Timmy, my blanket and my thumb. I tried to find any source of happiness, and my mind suddenly locked onto Tracy. I pictured her holding me tightly in her arms, saying, “It’s ok, wittle Cody, mommy’s here to protect you”. The only actual conscious thought that I could think in my mind was ‘I just want my mommy!’

 

            Suddenly something slightly jerked me out of my crazy state. That something was a voice, a particular sarcastic voice that just happened to say, “What’s up kid?”

 

            I turned to find myself looking at Johnny. There he was wearing a striped shirt and a small pair of little kid jeans. He had that same telltale smirk on his face.

 

            Even though he had startled me, I still felt exactly as I had a few seconds earlier. I continued to rock back forth, tears running down my face, letting out babyish whimpers while still held Timmy and the blanket and still violently sucking my thumb.

 

            I continued to look at Johnny as I did so, and I saw his face immediately change into one of genuine concern. “Hey, Cody, are you ok, kid? No, you’re not…tell me, what happened to you?!”

 

            It was a real testament of my current state that I didn’t rush over and start pounding Johnny’s face in considering he was the one who had caused all of this. It was all his fault. But I was so completely distraught that I had no room for anger. I didn’t even know if I could make myself speak. I tried to take my thumb out of my mouth but I just couldn’t do it.

 

            Johnny’s look of concern deepened. “Come on, Cody, speak to me! Oh man, please, please don’t tell me you’ve been decoded!”

 

            It was hard as hell, but I somehow managed to take out my thumb. I had a lot of difficulty making myself speak, but I managed to get a couple of sounds out. “Puh…puh…puhn…”

 

            “Don’t worry, just take your time,” he said in a truly concerned voice. I noticed he sounded extremely relieved that I could at least make sounds. “You can do it, just take your time…”

 

            “Puhn…punish…” I tried again. “Punishment….leh…level-el…f-…fi…five.”

 

            Looking into Johnny’s face was a big shock to me. His jaw dropped and he looked just like he had seen a ghost. He started to go pretty pale for a second, but soon after, without warning, he threw his arms around me and embraced me in a hug. I could hear him start to cry as he patted me on the back and said, “K…kid…I d-don’t…I don’t believe it!”

 

            That was about all I could take. Just letting myself go, I felt all of the anger and hatred I had towards Johnny melt away from me. Losing all of the pride and dignity I had left, I buried my face into his shoulder and violently cried as I still clutched Timmy and my blanket.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 11

 

            We must have just sat there for about ten minutes. I just continued to cry, unable to stop myself. Johnny didn’t really say anything, but he didn’t let go of me either. It just was too much to take in; I had just been subjected to the worst treatment in my entire life, and I couldn’t get over it.

 

            Finally, I managed to calm myself down. Having Johnny there was a huge help, and I don’t think I could have done it without it. It was just nice to, well, have a shoulder to cry on. And I knew from the look that I had seen on Johnny’s face that he really did care about what I had just been through. Because of that, I eventually stopped crying, and wiping my eyes, I pulled away from Johnny.

 

            He looked like he was about to cry himself, but he was able to keep in control and soon he was relaxed again. As we looked at each other, he suddenly had a quizzical look on his face.

 

            “Wait a sec…if you went through level 5…that means…it’s only been about three days since you jumped on me…that means…you went through levels 3…4…and 5?!”

 

            I simply nodded, still unable to find words. As I did so, a look of pure horror crossed his face. He started to move towards me as if you embrace me in another hug, but he stopped himself. He then just let out a sigh with a bewildered look on his face.

 

            “I…I never would have EVER dreamed that they’d go that far. That’s just…it’s just…fucked up.”

 

            I had to wait another five minutes while Johnny got shocked. It startled me at first. But for some reason…it made me feel better. If what I had gone through was bad enough to make Johnny cuss, then I know that I truly had survived a lot.

 

            When Johnny finally recovered, he said, “Sorry. Anyways, I just…I still can’t believe it. I mean, I knew you were gonna be in trouble, but I thought they’d only spank you again or something. The most I ever woulda dreamed was level 3. Man, all three of those levels? It’s just pure wonder that you can still talk. I bet any other kid here would’ve been driven insane or been automatically broken down and decoded. Kid, that’s just stunning. Uh…you can still talk, right?”

 

            Managing to find my voice, I said, “Yeah.” Then, I said the first thing that was on my mind.

 

            “You told them I hit you,” I said. “You lied. You acted like a baby and told them I hit you. You’re the reason why I had to go through all of this.”

 

            I wasn’t really angry with Johnny. I was in much too weak of a state for that, and right now I knew he was the only one who was truly on my side (well, other than Tammy). But still, I couldn’t help but feel he was more responsible for this than I was.

 

            He just looked extremely ashamed for a second, and after taking a breath, he said, “You’re right kid, I am. And I don’t know how I can apologize for all of it. I don’t know, I just kind of got caught up in the moment. I’ve talked to a lot of kids who have gone through here, and many have gotten angry or frustrated at me. Many have cussed me out or yelled at me, and some have refused to talk to me until they became completely decoded. But not a single one has ever jumped on me like you did. I don’t know, it’s just as soon as you did, I just automatically got kind of angry. It’s one of the reasons I was sent here in the first place; I was always fighting with people. And when you jumped on me like that, I was so filled with anger, just like I used to before I came here. And my only natural reaction was to get you back in whatever way I could, and I got caught up in the moment. Again, kid, I’m sorry. Like I said, I never would have dreamed that they would go so far with you. Kid, one day, honestly, I’ll make it up to you. Somehow, I will. ”

 

            I don’t know if I really wanted to accept this explanation or Johnny’s apology, but I really didn’t feel like holding a grudge. Maybe I’d get pissed at Johnny later, but for now, I just needed a friend. That footage shown of me was just so horrible, and…

 

            I suddenly jumped. “Johnny!” I said. “You’ve gotta stop talking to me! They’re taping us here, and...”

 

            To my surprise, Johnny just smiled. “Oh that,” he said in a calm manner. “I’ve known about that for years. Right now they’re not taping us. Or at least, not in this spot right now. I memorized the taping schedule a long time ago. That was really hard to do, but eventually I got it down. Anyway, like I said, the nannies have gotten really lax in recent years, and they only tape certain things. That’s why I haven’t talked to you all the time, and you’d only see me every few days. Luckily, you crawled over to the right spot on your first day, and they weren’t taping you, at least not when I talked to you. And even if they ever did catch us, they’d only think we were talking baby talk. Like I said, I’ve got these nannies so fooled, they have no idea.”

 

            I still had my doubts about all of this, but I was also really eager to talk to Johnny. So I trusted his judgment, since it had apparently worked for him so far.

 

            “But weren’t you extremely surprised to find out that they were taping you?” he asked. “I had no idea about it ‘til I went through level 5. I almost fainted when I saw footage of me sucking a pacifier being projected onto a huge screen in front of a huge group of girls.”

 

            It felt really, really good to hear Johnny describe level 5. I felt better knowing that he knew how I felt, since he had gone through the same thing at some point.

 

            “Well, it was pretty shocking to see it,” I admitted. “But I found out about the taping right before.”

 

            “How?”

 

            I hesitated, not sure if I should mention Tammy. Deciding it couldn’t hurt, I went for it. “Do you know Tammy?”

 

            “Yeah, she’s just a regular nanny here. She’s kinda young, and she’s always been kinda nice to me, but that’s all I know about her.”

 

            I couldn’t believe it. For these last few years, Johnny and Tammy had no idea about each other. He had been doing his act, and she had been doing hers. She had no idea that there was still a kid here who wasn’t a baby, and he had no idea a nanny could have helped him out.

 

            I quickly told Johnny about my encounter with Tammy and how she had told me about the cameras and her past. He was simply stunned to find out about this.

 

            “Wow, that’s amazing,” he said. “Very, very interesting. Well, not like it matters. I probably would have never gotten a chance to talk with her. I barely see her, and they do tape quite frequently. Besides, I got my own plan.”

 

            “Ok,” I said. “Come on Johnny, please tell me, who are you? How long have you been here? Why haven’t you been decoded? What’s your plan out of here?”

 

            Johnny just looked at me for a second. He then sighed and said, “Well, kid, you’ve been through more than any kid has ever been through in such a short period of time. I thought you were impressive before, but doing levels 3, 4, and 5 and still being sane is an all time record. If anyone deserves to hear my story, it’s you, especially since I’m responsible for your punishment. I know you’re ready to hear it now, and I owe you that much. So let me start from the beginning and I’ll tell you everything.”

 

            After letting out another sigh, Johnny said, “Well, I guess it’s best to begin at the beginning. You’d be surprised at how much of my past I remember; I guess that’s one positive trait that I have, an excellent memory. Anyway, I’ve been here in this program for just about ten years. The only way I know that is that I’ve overheard the nannies talking about how the program is about ten years old, and I was among the first group of kids who entered into the program.

 

            “That makes me twenty-five years old, because I remember that I was fifteen when I first came here.

 

            “I was probably extremely similar to the way you and all the other kids who have come through here were before you got here. I hated school so I skipped often and failed most of my classes. I went out and got drunk all the time, and I smoked marijuana quite a bit too. I even used cocaine and heroin. I fought with people all the time; little things would make my temper rise, so I’d go and beat up anybody who I didn’t like.

 

            “My parents always worried about me, but they never had the guts to truly discipline me. If I ever got in trouble with the law, they’d find a way to get me out of it. I guess they loved me; but if they really did, they probably would have disciplined me more.

 

            “I always hung out with kids who were just like me. The guys were my best buds, and even though I had friends who were girls, I mostly just used them for sex. I did have a girlfriend, and I do think we truly loved each other. We were both really bad kids, and we were constantly having sex with other people. But I still think we felt we had a connection.

 

            “Well, this went on for a few years, with nothing really changing. Then one day my parents heard about some kid in our neighborhood who overdosed on heroin. This totally freaked them out because they knew that I was always using drugs. They were so scared of me dying too that they felt they had to do something.

 

            “But they couldn’t bring themselves to send me to military school or rat me out to the cops or anything. I don’t know exactly how they found out about the Reconstruction Program, but apparently it was some new type of program that promised to straighten out kids by raising them correctly. I guess it sounded good to them, so they signed me up and told me that I would be going off to a special program. I wasn’t crazy about the whole idea, but they told me that if I didn’t agree to go, they’d get some of my friends in big trouble. See, they hated my friends, and because of their connections and money, I felt like they really could have made life really bad for my friends. I was so worried about my friends that I agreed, although now that I think about it, my parents were probably too weak-minded to follow through.

 

            “Anyway, it looked like I’d be going to this ‘special program’. Before I knew it, I found myself on a bus with a bunch of other boys. By the looks of them, they seemed to be just as bad as me. None of them looked happy about going into this program, and I still remember the cold stares that they all gave each other on our bus ride. I didn’t really feel like talking to any of them, so we remained silent for the whole ride. I counted and figured out that there were exactly twenty of us.

 

            “Our arrival was probably very similar to the way yours was, considering that’s one of the few things that has remained the same throughout the years. As we all got off the bus, about forty big men grabbed us (two guys to each one of us) and forcefully led us into the huge building that you are currently in. I went along calmly, but they really had to wrestle a couple of the other kids in there. Once inside one of the nursery rooms (it was empty and the walls were blank at that time), the wonderful Doctor McPherson gave us the traditional welcome.”

 

            “McPherson was there then, too?” I asked.

 

            “Oh yeah,” Johnny said. “And he was just as much of a greasy haired slime ball as he is now.

 

            “Anyway, the big guys pushed us all down to the floor while McPherson placed collars around each one of our necks. A bunch of the kids yelled at him and the guards and cussed them out too. Well, until the collars were on. Then they’d receive shocks every time they cussed. I remember hearing their howls of pain as it happened. Once we all had collars on, McPherson began to talk to us. He told us about our collars and how they would shock us every time we cussed, and he then gave every one of us a shock just to let us feel it. Like the first time you were shocked, it made our bodies go limp, and I felt myself being drug into another smaller room all alone.

 

            “I was completely full of fear as I was strapped down to a table and stripped naked. I was helpless and I knew that there was nothing I could do. And I didn’t even know what these crazy people were going to do to me. I pictured them physically torturing me or locking me in a tiny cell or something.

 

            “Had I known what was coming up, I might have preferred the torture. You can imagine my anger and anxiety when I saw a nanny (they didn’t have those nurse ladies back then) come in the room and take out a diaper. I had never been around babies much, but I knew a diaper when I saw one. I yelled and struggled to no avail as she smiled at me and proceeded to tape it around my waist. She shocked me to calm me down and talked to me like I was a baby. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, and there was still nothing I could do about it. Things only got worse as she put a onesie on me and pinned a pacifier to the front of it. After telling me that from now on I would be treated like a baby, she warned me not to resist or I would get another shock. The shocks were so painful that I decided to just go along with her. But I still felt about two inches high as she picked me up and carried me in her arms. There I was, dressed like a baby, diaper and all, and now I was being carried like one.

 

            “For a few horrible minutes I thought I would be shown in front of the other boys and I would be the only one treated this way. So I was shocked but extremely relieved when I saw that the rest of them were also dressed as babies.

 

            “We were in another nursery, although this one had twenty huge baby cribs in it. All of the other boys were also being carried, although some continued to struggle despite the shocks. Nonetheless, the nannies put each one of us into a crib. As I was laid down, I heard one of the nannies say, ‘Ok, change all of their collars to just roll over status now.’

 

            “With that, I was left in the crib. I tried to stand up, but as soon as I did, I was shocked. I couldn’t move for a few minutes, and when I recovered, I tried again. The same thing happened. I began to panic as I realized that the only thing I could do was lay there and roll onto either one of my sides.

 

            “As I looked through the bars of my crib, I noticed the other kids were coming to the same realization. The nannies had left the room; we were just left there in our cribs and baby clothes, unable to do anything but roll over like infants. The other kids were all yelling and I could here the panic in there voices as well. It felt like some horrible nightmare; we simply couldn’t believe that this was happening.

 

            “Thankfully, one of us had some sense and was able to keep his cool. I looked over and saw him; he had spiky black hair and looked to be about sixteen. He looked frustrated but also very calm. After the yelling died down, he yelled out, ‘Ok, everyone shut up!’ He was shocked, but once he recovered, he said, “Ok, everyone calm down. I know this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to us, but we’ve gotta keep our heads.’

 

            “ ‘How are we supposed to do that?!’ I heard one kid yell. ‘They’ve put us in cribs and damn baby clothes…’ His voice trailed as he got shocked.

 

            “ ‘I know that!’ the first kid said. ‘But if we panic we won’t be able to do anything except continue to get shocked!’

 

            “ ‘So what are we supposed to do?’ I asked. ‘I can’t do anything but roll over!’

 

            “ ‘Just don’t think about it!’ he responded. ‘Ignore the fact that we’re all wearing diapers. Don’t think about moving; just lie there and relax. Here, let’s talk about something to keep our minds off of it. My name’s Ricky Rawson. How ‘bout you guys?’

 

            “Most of us introduced ourselves and talked about where we were from. We explained our pasts and tried to avoid talking about our current situation. Eventually, though, we ran out of subjects. Sensing this, Ricky began to talk again. ‘Well, the one thing I know is that we’ve gotta stick together. That’s the only way we’re ever going to get out of this!’

 

            “Everybody agreed, but yet again we had nothing else to say. We all still felt demoralized and ashamed, and didn’t feel like talking much more. After a period of time, we heard the nannies come back in.

 

            “I saw one come over to me and lift me out of my crib. I still couldn’t move without being shocked, so I didn’t. But I could still see that the other kids were also being taken out of their cribs. Soon after, the nannies all began to shove baby bottles in our mouths and forced us to drink the milk that was inside them. Again, most of us resisted, but in the end we had to consent. Again, I felt extremely ashamed and humiliated.”

 

            “Once they were done, they put us back in our cribs and left. It was only a matter of time until we realized something; we couldn’t move, but we had to pee or poo. One kid pointed this out, and everybody began to get worried again. Eventually all of us had to go, and after a while the nannies came back to check on us and change our diapers.

 

            “My first diaper change was horrible. I couldn’t believe that I had actually gone in a diaper and that I needed to have one of the stupid nannies change me (she did so in my crib). But once it was done, I was put right back into my crib, and it was only a matter of time before I fell asleep.

 

            “Over the next few days everything went basically the same way. We were taken out to be given baths, fed, and changed, but other than that, we were always left in our cribs. I truly began to get worried, and it was only through forced conversations from Ricky that I managed to stay calm.

 

            “Then one day, the nannies came back in and took us out of our cribs. They sat us down on the floor, and I noticed, to my great joy, I could move again! I found out I still couldn’t stand and that I could only crawl, as did the other kids. After we got the chance to move around, the nannies told us to sit still or we’d be shocked.

 

            “Once they got us to stay still, they told us about what was happening. They explained that five of us had gone mentally insane due to our treatment. I looked around and noticed we were down to fifteen. They continued and told us that we would still be treated as babies, but that we’d be allowed to crawl around under their supervision. With that, they took us out of the room and into another nursery.

 

            “This one had a bunch of baby toys in it and some chairs and tables. The nannies put us down and let us roam about freely. We used our chance of freedom to interact with each other. The news of the others going insane really scared us, and we knew that now, more than ever we’d have to stick together.

 

            “A few of the kids panicked. I saw some automatically race to the door or try to rip off their baby clothes. It was actually kind of funny at first because they couldn’t figure out how to do it. They kind of did look like babies as they struggled to figure out how to unbutton their sleepers or onesies. But it didn’t last long because the nannies shocked anyone who showed any sign of resistance.

 

            “Eventually we all settled down and began to talk. You might be a little surprised that the nannies allowed us to do this, but remember, they still didn’t really know what they were doing; remember, they had just driven five kids insane, so they decided to be a little bit nice to us. If we were all driven insane, the program would be deemed a failure and they’d all be out of jobs, especially since a lot of money had already been poured into the program. So they basically just let us be and decided to watch how we acted.

 

            “One we all settled down, we began to seriously talk with one another. It was so much nicer to be able to see each other and start putting faces, voices and names together. We started to get to know each other and get along.

 

            “Over the next few days we were still put into our cribs to sleep, bottle-fed, given baths, and had our diapers changed. But we were still allowed to talk with one another, and we all started to become friends.

 

            “The nannies were in a bit of an awkward situation. Remember, the directors, who gave the nannies their instructions, still didn’t really know what they were doing. They didn’t want to risk driving any of us insane, but they also knew they had to do something; at the current rate, we were still acting completely like teenagers despite our forced baby state. So the directors began to experiment with us.

 

            “Different groups of us were forced to do certain things. Some kids were forced to suck pacifiers or be subject to shocks. Some were made to hold and cuddle teddy bears for hours. Some were put down for naps during the day. Some were made to play with baby toys. Some were only talked to in baby-talk. Some were spoon fed, some were bottle-fed, and some were both. Some had baby powder used for changing, others baby oil or baby lotion. Some were made to cry when they were hungry or wet.

 

            “It was really embarrassing for us to go through all of this, but after weeks and weeks the nannies still had no luck. Despite our humiliation, we were still allowed to talk to each other, and we all still had teenage mindsets.

 

            “During this time I got to be really good friends with Ricky and a couple of other kids, named Andy Higgins, Jamal Houston and Ryan Peterson. We became really close, and despite our conditions, we managed to actually enjoy ourselves. We shared stories about our pasts and we talked about what the nannies had done to each of us. We began to gain confidence.

 

            “It looked like everything was going to be fine. The nannies became more and more stressed about their failed attempts, and the program was going nowhere.

 

            “But then we made our first big mistake, even though we didn’t know what we were doing. There was one kid named Scotty who was having trouble fitting in with everybody else. He couldn’t get over his baby treatment, and even though a lot of us complained and even cried a few times, Scotty just simply couldn’t take it. We started shunning him because he always seemed to whine a lot, and he was often left out.

 

            “One day, he started uncontrollably crying. We thought he was just whining again, but then we saw that he was crying the way that babies do. Before the nannies came over, we managed to calm him down. But when we tried to talk to him, he only let out gurgles. We couldn’t get him to talk to us, and at first we thought he had been driven insane. But then Ricky realized what had happened. Scotty’s mind had been reduced to the mind of a baby.

 

            “The nannies quickly realized this, and they were overjoyed. They began to get excited and treated him just like a real baby. His reactions were exactly the same as a baby’s and they knew that they had had their first success.

 

            “This was terrifying to us. We simply couldn’t believe that all of this baby treatment had worked and that they had successfully turned Scotty into a baby. The nannies began to gain confidence and continued to their various experiments on the rest of us.”

 

            “Wait,” I said. “You said you guys made a mistake. What did you do?”

 

            “Ah,” Johnny said. “You see, kid, even though neither us nor the nannies realized why Scotty had been decoded at that particular time, it was really us kids’ fault that it had happened. Ok, listen up, because here’s the secret to the decoding process. A kid has to be treated exactly like a baby by EVERYONE. You see, that’s why we had lasted so long; we were still talking to each other. By doing this, we reminded each other that we were really teens, not babies. But we had been shunning Scotty and had stopped talking to him. The only interaction he had was with the nannies, and they all simply treated him like a baby. Given enough time, his mind started believing that he really was a baby, since that was the only thing he was ever told.

 

            “Anyway, despite their success, the directors still didn’t know why Scotty had been decoded, and for that matter, neither did us kids. But about a year passed, and the fourteen of us were still there. We could tell that the nannies were becoming frustrated again.

 

            “Unfortunately, we began to get worried that we wouldn’t escape. Some of the kids were still worried that they would suffer Scotty’s fate, and before we knew it, another one of us did.

 

            “It was a Hispanic kid named Marco. I think it happened because he had been forced to spend a lot of time alone in a playpen. Thankfully, there were also a lot of other things the nannies had only been doing to him, ranging from burping him to rocking him to sleep. They still had no idea that his isolation from us had caused it, and neither did we.

 

            “Our lack of knowledge caused terror and panic among us. Before we knew it, three more kids had become babies. It’s hard to know exactly why, but I have some ideas. These three kids were kinda weird, and I think they got decoded more for other reasons than simply being isolated.

 

            “I think Chris, the first, just gave up. I think he got tired of fighting, because one time he told me he started to like being treated like a baby. He said he felt truly loved for the first time in his life, and said that if he had to be a baby to be loved, he would be a baby.

 

            “Tyrone, the second, found an interest in baby toys. Despite being able to talk to each other, we still got pretty bored. Eventually we started playing with the toys we were given to pass the time. Tyrone got so into it that I think it started eating away at his mind, and eventually he started acting just like a baby.

 

            “Richie, the third, was really weird. He started getting a thing for baby food. He once told me he loved the way it tasted, and like Tyrone, he got in so deep that he just began to act like a baby.

 

            “But these are only my guesses. But for whatever reason, we were down to ten. Despite the nannies joy at having three more baby boys, they couldn’t get the rest of us to crack, and they were still clueless as to why they had been successful with the other five.

 

            “More time passed and we were still teenagers mentally. We started to gain a lot of confidence, believing the first five were just weak. Since we had each other, we felt fine with our situation. True, we were now diaper dependent and couldn’t walk or do much else physically, but we were so used to our baby treatment that it wasn’t embarrassing anymore. Yeah, in small ways we started acting kind of weird. Most of us often sucked our pacifiers and carried around stuffed animals and blankets, but we weren’t really embarrassed about it. And bottle-feeding, baths and diaper changes were just normal, everyday activities.

 

            “But then we made our second mistake; we started to get too cocky. Remember, we were all rebels, part of the reason that had gotten us in here in the first place. We began to get extreme satisfaction in the nannies’ frustration, and we started to push them even further. We’d make the other five babies (who were still with us) cry. We’d knock over cribs and changing tables. We’d throw our pacifiers at the nannies. We always laughed about it afterwards, and it was pretty fun to make the nannies’ tempers boil over.

 

            “However, they finally had had enough of it. This is when they came up with the ideas of punishing us. One day one of the nannies told us that since we were babies, we would be punished like babies. One by one, we were held down and spanked. Not only did it kind of hurt, but it was very humiliating. A couple of us even broke down and cried.

 

            “They saw us humiliated for the first time in a while, so they continued to do it whenever we stepped out of line in the slightest bit. Oh, they still shocked us, but most of us had built up a pretty decent resistance by then. The spanking was far more effective, and it seemed like no matter how many times it happened, it was still very degrading.

 

            “Casey eventually cracked. He couldn’t take it anymore; he told me that it reminded him of when his dad used to beat him. He started to find comfort in his teddy bear and pacifier, and before we knew it, he was a baby.

 

            “This inspired the nannies to new punishments. Even though the rest of us had stopped being bothered by the spankings, they introduced new punishments. The first was level 2, where we were all shaved. This successfully decoded Jason, and we were down to eight. They hadn’t yet come up with levels 3, 4, or 5 yet; they still had no connections with the surrounding town. However, they had other ones that they don’t use anymore.

 

            “One of these was the use of enemas. My first one was truly horrible, but all of us except Stevie were still OK after four or five of them given to us over a few days. But now we were down to seven, since this punishment effectively decoded Stevie.

 

            “Next, they refused to change our diapers for days at a time. That was horribly nasty, but only Corbett was decoded. Now there were only six of us.

 

            “Next came forced crib naps. They strapped us in our cribs for weeks and weeks, changing our diapers and feeding us while we were still strapped in. Thankfully, they still left us together in the same room, so we could still talk to each other. However, when we were finally taken out, Shawn was a baby.

 

            “There were now only five of us remaining: Ricky, Andy, Jamal, Ryan, and me. Now more than ever we knew that we’d have to stick together and fight the decoding as hard as we could.

 

            “Thankfully, we were all extremely good at this. It helped that we were such good friends. Whenever, we saw one of us faltering, we got him back on track. The nannies still didn’t know what was going on, but we figured it out. We knew that as long as we reminded each other that we weren’t babies, we could stick together and fight the system.

 

            “This gave us a newfound confidence. The nannies repeated all of the previous punishments over and over again, but none of us cracked. They tried, even more ideas, ranging from making us talk stupid baby-talk and gibberish to singing lullabies and little kiddie songs to us to even (Johnny let out a shudder as he talked)….BREASTFEEDING us. But nothing worked.

 

            “On top of this, one day, a few new kids arrived. Like us, they felt extremely humiliated. We tried to comfort them and tell them how we had last so long, but it didn’t really work. The other fifteen babies seemed to scare them because they felt that the same thing would happen to them. Due to the nannies’ treatment of them, and the fact that they believed that they would eventually turn into the babies, all of the new kids were eventually decoded.

 

            “Every now and then more kids would come, but the same thing happened. Eventually, there were about fifty teenage babies crawling around. It seemed like the more babies there were, the easier it was for the new ones to give in and be decoded.

 

            “Since the system was working extremely well, the directors really began to expand and improve it. They painted the walls with baby designs, bought new furniture, and started to gather more baby toys. They hired more nannies, and the nannies began to spend more time with the babies, such as doing things like reading stories and playing games. It was probably around this time that they started to use cameras to make sure that the babies didn’t get hurt. They began to come up with schedules so that there were always nannies there to take care of the babies and give them attention.

 

            “They also were able to start reconstructing the kids, and we noticed that some appeared to be acting older. They began to speak words, walk, and drink from sippy cups. After a while, we noticed that Scotty and a few of the other earlier babies had grown up to be like little kids, and soon after they left.

 

            “The directors had basically given up on the five of us, however. They still treated us like all the other babies, but they knew we weren’t really decoded. They also began to worry about us; they didn’t care if we talked and interacted with each other, but they were worried that we would start to be a bad influence on the other babies, especially the ones that were acting older. The directors thought that maybe we might break the decoding and turn them back into horrible teenagers again. They knew something had to be done about us, especially since they still didn’t know how we had managed to fight the decoding.

 

            “So one day, while we were all sitting down and chilling, one of the nannies came over, picked Andy up, and carried him out. We didn’t think anything of it, thinking he was just getting a nap or a bath or something. But a few hours later, they carried him back in and he was crying uncontrollably. It took us about an hour to get him to stop, and we worried that he may have been decoded. But finally, he managed to talk to us again, and told us what had happened. He had been through what is now punishment level 3. We just stared in awe as he described being rolled around town in a stroller, being gawked at by the people in the city, and being baby-talked by a bunch of Catholic school girls. We couldn’t figure out why these people had gone along with it, but it truly scared us.

 

            “Over the next few days, the other four of us had to go through the same thing. We were a little bit better off than Andy since we knew what was coming, but it was still one of the worst experiences of our lives. I especially remember how embarrassed I was to have girls younger than me act like I was a real baby. There was something about public humiliation that was about a hundred times worse than anything we had experienced in the nursery.

 

            “We were all still OK though, so they proceeded on to putting us through level 4. We went through probably all the same stuff you did; we were the baby for the home economics class, and we were used as examples for bottle-feeding, spoon-feeding, diaper-changing, pacifier-sucking, crying, and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

 

            “I was only bottle-fed, spoon-fed, and changed,” I replied. “But they had a diaper changing contest, and I peed on one girl.”

 

            Johnny laughed as I told him the story, and he then said, “Well, we had it a little worse than you, but not by much. Anyway, what was really bad about it was that Ryan didn’t make it. He was the first, and when he came back, he was so distraught he couldn’t talk to us. Soon after he became a baby, and we had to wait for Ricky to go through the punishment before we knew what it was.

 

            “But there were still the four of us. But then came the real killer; level 5. Tell me, what was it like for you? I know it’s really hard, but if you can, I want to know.”

 

            With difficulty I recounted my story for Johnny. Even though he shuddered over some details, for the most part he just nodded.

 

            “Yeah, ours was just about the same. I still can’t believe they use that stupid bonnet and jacket. Anyway, I had to go first, and I almost fainted when I saw footage of myself on that huge screen. When it was finally over, it took the other guys hours to get me back on track. I pulled through, but unfortunately, Jamal didn’t. It was simply too much for him. Ricky, Andy and I couldn’t believe it; it was now down to just us three.

 

            “We formed a completely tight bond. No matter what, we swore we’d get out of here. We tried as hard as we could to get any new kids on our side, but eventually they all got decoded. Some managed to make it pretty far, and even a couple made it all the way to level 5. But none lasted longer than that.

 

            “But the directors still wanted Ricky, Andy and me. After a while, they stopped letting us talk to the new kids. They also had developed all kinds of new techniques, and during this time, the program became basically exactly like it is today. They had perfected their methods over the years, and Ricky, Andy and I were the only three people who kept the program from being a one hundred percent success.

 

            “They decided to go with extreme measures for us. They got rid of all of the punishments except for current levels one through five. But they came up with new ones. And all of the punishments beyond level five were made specifically because of us three.

 

            “It’s been so long that I mix up which one is which. But I remember them all.

 

            “One involved the people of the town treating us like teens. This doesn’t sound bad at all, but what made it so horrible is that they made fun of us due to our babyish state. I remember a nanny rolling my stroller in front of a crowd. They trash-talked me, laughed at me, and jeered me. Then they started saying things like ‘The big bad thug is now going pee pee in his diapers!’ or ‘Not so tough now, huh? Can’t fight anybody when you need a pacifier to go to sleep!’

 

            “The next one will blow your mind. Get this; they injected this drug into us. This crazy injection made us get turned on by our baby treatment. Whenever we wet our diapers, we would get erections. Whenever we were bottle-fed, the same thing would happen.

 

            “This was unbelievably enticing. We hadn’t gotten turned on in years. I remember when I first wet my diaper after I had the drug. I was so excited that I flipped over on my stomach and immediately rubbed the front of my diaper against the carpet until I climaxed. It was the most powerful one I had ever had.

 

            “It was very effective, though. It forced us to love parts of our baby treatment. Somehow, Ricky and I managed to continue to fight, but Andy couldn’t help it. He enjoyed it all so much that he decided to become a baby again.

 

            “Now it was down to just Ricky and me. Oh they made us show off our sexual pleasure from our baby treatment in front of the crowds, who then called us pedophiles and freaks (again, they were sent propaganda to make them think this). They put us through levels one through five numerous times. They made us stay in real day care centers with actual babies to further enforce our babyish treatment. They publicly spanked us.

 

            “But we hung in there. I thought we were gonna lose it on the next one, though. They invited our old friends over to the nursery. They paraded us around in front of them in our baby clothes, and then they told our friends that we LOVED being treated like babies (of course we had pacifiers in our mouths so we couldn’t argue). To prove their point, they injected us with the drug and showed our friends how we got turned on by our baby treatment. I still remember crying when I saw guys that at one time were my closest of friends laugh at me and call me a sick freak for being aroused by my condition.

 

            “But even that didn’t break us. And then it came. Ricky was taken away one day, and when he came back, he was only barely able to recount what had happened to him.

 

            “He told me that he had been taken back to his old house. His parents were there, and so were his friends. He said his parents were overjoyed to see him as a baby, and his friends just laughed. But he said the worst was his girlfriend; she burst into tears and tried to save him from his condition, but both he and his girlfriend couldn’t do anything.

 

            “Once he finished his story, he tried to talk to me rationally. But as I tried to will him on, he just simply started to slip away. He shoved his thumb in his mouth, grabbed a blankie, and began to make gurgling noises. For the next few days I tried to get him to come back, but it was useless. Like all the others he had been decoded. It was horrible for me, especially since I had to go through the same thing with my old friends and family the next week…”

 

            But I cut Johnny off. I simply couldn’t believe what he had just told me.

 

            “Johnny,” I said. “I just realized something; Ricky is Tammy’s old boyfriend.”

 

            “What?!” he asked.

 

            I repeated the story about Tammy’s past to Johnny, and he looked just as stunned as I am.

 

            “Wow,” he said. “I don’t believe it. That’s…really sad.

 

            “Well, to continue my story, I was now alone. Everyone else had been decoded, and I felt like I was destined to the same fate. Part of me just wanted to give up; I had lost everything. My original friends, my parents, my dignity, even the only friends that I had had here. What was the point in fighting?

 

            “But Ricky’s condition fired something up in me. I wasn’t just sad or depressed anymore; I was angry. I felt like a fire was burning inside me, and I wanted nothing else but to kill everyone involved with any of this.

 

            “I was able to keep cool-headed, however. I knew the helplessness of my situation, but I was able to channel my anger into logical thoughts. I knew that the only way to get out of here was to be decoded and reconstructed. So I knew that’s what I had to do. Only, I would only make them think they had succeeded.

 

            “By now, I know they realized why Ricky and I had lasted so long. They had made efforts to separate us in the past, but through clever, secret discussions we were able to talk to each other. But now that he was gone, I knew they’d think I would be decoded in a heartbeat.

 

            “So I decided to fool them. I acted like I was decoded. It was very hard to act like a baby, but I eventually got it down to an art. And like I said before, I was able to pick up all kinds of information because they didn’t think I was listening.

 

            “Now you’re probably wondering how I managed to keep from getting decoding. It’s hard to say for sure why that’s true; at the time, I couldn’t think of any other plan, and if I didn’t do something, I would be decoded anyway.

 

            “I guess I had built up quite a tolerance. I had gone through seven years of baby treatment and some of the worst punishments imaginable. Plus, I had bee interacting with Ricky for seven years as well. Due to all of this experience, it was much easier to keep my head and fight the urges to be a baby. And I did exactly what I’ve told you to do; I stayed calm.

 

            “In addition, a lot of times when a new kid would come in, I’d talk to him. I didn’t just do this to comfort him; it also gave me the interaction I needed to continue to fight the decoding.

 

            “So for the past three years that’s what’s been going on. I memorized the camera schedules and figured out basically how everything works around here. New kids come in, and some have even managed to make it past level 5. But except for you and a couple of others who are partially decoded, I’m the only one who doesn’t have the mind of a baby. They reconstructed me for the most part, and get this.”

 

            He pulled down the front of his pants to reveal…

 

            “Pull-ups,” he said. “They’ve started potty training me. Soon, I’ll be completely trained, and I’ll be ready to move on.”

 

            With Johnny’s story finished, we both just kind of stared at each other for a little bit. I then said, “So what now? What’s your plan? When you ‘move on’, won’t you have to keep the act up in the next place they send you two?”

 

            But Johnny just laughed and said, “No way, kid. You see, here’s the thing. I’ve tried to escape this place in who knows how many different ways. So have the kids who have come through here. But the one thing that’s stopped all of the plans is this.”

 

            He pointed to the collar around his neck. “Even though it doesn’t hurt me anymore, the shock still keeps me from moving while it’s going on. No matter what I do, they’ll be able to stop me as soon as I put one toe outta line. This thing’s even got a homing device in it, so even if I did escape, they’d just shock me until they used it to find me.

 

            “But remember what I told you; once I move on, they take the collar off. And remember, they all think I’m just a sweet little two-year old. As soon as this thing is off, I make my move. I’ve regained most of my physical abilities, and I’m as mentally sharp as I ever was. I’ll catch them completely off guard and make my escape. They’ll have no way to stop me.”

 

            “But what if you fail? Or if you do escape, what do you do then?” I asked.

 

            “Well, if I fail, I’m right back in here, and I guess I’ll just finally throw the towel in and be decoded. And if I make it out, I’m sure I’ll figure out something. I know I can get a job somewhere. Anything’s better than being stuck here.

 

            “But the real question is, kid, what are YOU gonna do?”

 

            “What do you mean?” I asked.

 

            “Well, you heard my story. The only way to fight the decoding is through interaction with people who don’t treat you like a baby. They’ve perfected their methods now; they’ll make sure no new kid who comes through here gets anywhere near you. They don’t want the two of you to get together since they’d be afraid of you two talking and fighting the system together. If they knew I wasn’t really decoded, I would have never gotten the chance to talk to you in the first place. No matter what you do, you can’t fight the decoding process.”

 

            Johnny’s words hit me hard. I couldn’t believe that he was going to get out of here but that I was going to be decoded no matter what. I had always believed in the back of my mind that Johnny was always gonna be there helping me through this.

 

            Sure, Tammy was trying to help me, but she said I’d have to fight the decoding process for a long time before I’d get the chance to tell my parents I was really a baby and get a chance to start over outside of this place. And if what Johnny said was true, how could I fight the decoding process much longer?

 

             I just sat there and looked at Johnny, unable to believe that I was doomed to be a baby. But then I said something that changed the whole direction of our conversation, and by the end of our conversation, Johnny, the only person who truly knew what it was like to go through what I had gone through, would hate my guts.

 

Part 12

 

            “But Johnny,” I said. “I’m different.”

 

            Johnny just let out a soft laugh and said, “Kid, I keep tellin’ you, that’s what every kid who comes in here thinks. No one thinks they can be decoded, they all think there’s something special…”

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m different because of…you.”

 

            Johnny just sort of paused for a moment, and then quizzically said, “What?”

 

            “Johnny, you said yourself that the decoding system can be fought as long as someone can talk to someone who doesn’t treat them like a baby. And that’s what you’ve been doing to me. Think about it, we can fight the system together, it’ll be just like you and Ricky! We’ll keep talking to each other, fool the nannies ‘til we can get out of here together…”

 

            But Johnny stopped me. “Kid, do you got wax built up in your ears or somethin’? Haven’t you been listening? I’m outta here. I’m gonna be going in a just a few days.”

 

            I was a little bit surprised to hear him say this. I knew he was going to escape, but I thought he’d make some kind of change to his plans now that he realized that I hadn’t been decoded. I mean, he could have escaped somehow, I’m sure. He’d just have to wait a little longer.

 

            “But Johnny, you can’t do that to me! I’ll never make it without you! They’ll never let another kid near me until I’m decoded. And there’s no way I’ll be able to trick the nannies like you did, I’m not that strong! I just can’t do it! I need you here! You just can’t leave!”

 

            “And why not?” he asked, with that same calm tone that he always seemed to use. It started to get on my nerves, especially since I was becoming more and more anxious as I realized my predicament.

 

            “Because…” I stammered. “Because…I don’t deserve this!”

 

            Johnny just sort of stared at me for a moment. He didn’t say anything for about thirty seconds. And then, with a calm, rigid tone, he said (more to himself than to me), “You know, I don’t know why I even bother anymore. I honestly don’t know why I even talk to you kids. Because all of you are the same; selfish, conceited no-good punks.”

 

            I just kind of stared at him as he continued, now talking to me. “Take a look around you, kid. You’re surrounded by what used to be the scum of this earth. Kids who are lucky to be alive. Filthy, vile, criminals who would be better off left just robbin’ and killin’ people ‘til they died. You, me, that’s what we all are. We’re no-good, snot-nosed brats who don’t know what’s good for us.”

 

            I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but he kept going. I could hear anger rising in his voice as he spoke (although he was careful to keep his voice a whisper so that the nannies didn’t hear him).

 

            “You just don’t get it, do ya kid? Again, look around you. Had it not been for this program, every kid in here would either be dead or in jail. We’d all be getting anally raped and bullied around in a prison cell or just left cold and rotting in a gutter somewhere. Either that or we’d waste away our lives hurting and killing innocent people while we suffered every single day under our own self-loathing. Sure, we’d love our immoral lifestyles for a little while longer, not thinking about our futures while we’re out drinking and having sex. But then one day the bottom would fall out and we’d realize what a waste of human flesh we truly are.

 

            “But again I ask you to look around you. Is that what you see? Do you see kids lying in the street with heroin needles stuck in there dead carcasses? Do you see rapists who get away because their mommies and daddies don’t have the spines to let them go to jail? No, you see harmless, innocent little teenaged babies.

 

            “But it’s not just society who is lucky. The real lucky ones are these kids. Look how happy they are! If they weren’t here, they’d be wondering how they’d find food for the next day or whether or not they’d be sleeping on a park bench the next night. But no, they don’t think about that here. They get to feel true love. They get to be nurtured for and cared for in a way that they have never experienced before. They laugh and giggle as they play games with the nannies. They contently drift into soft, peaceful sleeps with their teddy bears and pacifiers to give them comfort. They get gently cooed and rocked if they feel sad or lonely. There only worries are whether or not they’re hungry or need a diaper change, and when that happens, they have a nanny right there to fix the only worries that ever cross their little minds.

 

            “This is their second chance. So many people in this world would trade anything to get a second chance in life. These kids get a chance to go back and live the way they would have had they gotten a proper upbringing. They get the love and discipline that they need to be the happy, law-abiding citizens that they should have been in the first place.”

 

            He then said in a mock voice, “ ‘I don’t deserve to be here’.” Switching back to his rigid tone, he looked directly at me and said, “You’re right about that, kid. If you got what you deserved, you’d be rotting in a jail cell, lonely without any friends. But instead of realizing how lucky you are, you’ve been complaining ever since you’ve been here. ‘Waah waah waah, I have to wear a diaper. Waah waah waah, I have to drink a baby bottle. Waah waah waah, they held me and loved me like their own child. Waah waah waah, they actually care about me.’ That’s all I here from you and every other kid who comes through here. You really do sound like a bunch of babies. You have too much pride to realize how truly fortunate you really are.”

 

            After saying his piece, Johnny just looked at the ceiling, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

 

            But Johnny’s words had a strange effect on me. As much as I resented his words, I had trouble finding them to be false. But at the same time, they angered me. Who was Johnny to tell me what was good for me? Who was he to tell me what I deserved?

 

            I now spoke to him. “And what about you?” I said, careful to keep my voice down. But anger also rose in my voice as I continued. “What makes you so special? You admitted yourself, you were just like us. You never were a goody little two shoes yourself, either, were you? You were just as horrible as the rest of us. You think you’re so much better, sitting back and only talking to kids to keep yourself from becoming a baby. Messing with our minds, only telling the kids that you choose how to fight the system. You’re just as selfish as anyone else. So why don’t you just get decoded if it’s so good for us? Why do YOU get to escape from here, while everyone else turns into babies?”

 

            As these words hit Johnny, I got a sense of satisfaction, feeling like I had made a huge point. I gave him a sly smile as he took in what I had said.

 

            But then his face changed. For the first time, I saw a pure look of hatred across his face.

 

            In a very dark tone, Johnny began to speak again. “Kid, you DO NOT want to go there. You have NO IDEA what I’ve been through. You don’t have the slightest clue what it’s like to experience what I’ve experienced here.

 

            “Think about it kid. You’ve been here a measly two weeks. I’ve been here TEN YEARS. You don’t think I felt the same way you did? Think about how many times I’ve had to wet and mess a diaper. It’s a wonder I even remember what a toilet is. I haven’t had anything but baby food and milk for ten years. I’ve been cooed and baby-talked to no end, I can hardly remember what it’s like to be called anything but ‘baby Johnny’.

 

            “But that’s the easy part. I told you kid, things are different now. When I came through, it was a WHOLE different ball game. YOU didn’t have to lie in a crib for weeks, only allowed to roll over while you heard the screams of the only other kids in the room. YOU don’t know the terror I felt when I saw kids go insane, afraid I would be next. YOU don’t know what it’s like to watch a kid mentally break down directly into a baby right before your eyes. YOU don’t know what it’s like trying to will other kids on while they cry into your shoulder for hours, fearing being turned into babies. YOU don’t know what it’s like to lie in your own fecal matter for days on end. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be confined in a crib for weeks and weeks. YOU don’t know what it’s like to have four enemas shoved into you each day for a week. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be yelled at and spit upon by a whole crowd who love seeing you being treated like a baby. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be filled with disgust as you push yourself to orgasm rubbing your penis up against a diaper.”

 

            A few tears began to come out of Johnny’s eyes as he shook with emotion, continuing by saying, “YOU don’t know what it’s like to see your friends one by one having their lives stripped away from them as they dissolve into simple babies. YOU don’t know what it’s like to hold your best friend of seven years in your arms while you have to witness him finally give up his struggle. YOU don’t know what it’s like to cower with fear as you realize that you are left completely alone, with only nannies, babies, and a few punk kids left to comfort you.

 

            “You don’t think I considered giving in and being decoded? You don’t know how many times I’d lie awake at night, telling myself I should just give in. I still wonder if that’s what I should have done. Because, the decoded kids are the lucky ones. They LIKE their diapers. They LIKE being bottle-fed. They simply LOVE their whole experience here. But for three years, I had to go through all of it from a teenage/adult perspective. But I learned the truth. I realized that I deserved just that. I understood that before I came here, I was an evil hearted kid who deserved to be sent to jail.

 

            “But after ten years, three of which I was all alone here, I’m still here. I proved that I could do it. I showed my will, my refusal to give in. And THAT is why I deserve to finally get out. If anyone deserves to get out, I DO.”

 

            Johnny wiped the tears out of his eyes and just gave me a cold stare, before saying,

 

            “So YOU make it three years here, kid. You see how much you can take by yourself. Then maybe I’ll be convinced that you know what you’re talking about. I get out of here in two days, kid. So all I have to say is, good-bye, and good riddance, LUKE.”

 

            While I just sat there stunned, Johnny crawled away out of my view.

 

            Not much happened for the next few minutes; I just continued to sit there, having trouble taking in everything I had heard. Once my mental gears started running again, I thought and thought for what felt like hours.

 

            So much had just happened during this one single day. Not only were images of punishment level 5 still running through my mind, but the result (me breaking down like I did) mystified me. It was almost as if I had lost total control of myself and was unable to regain control without Johnny’s help. I didn’t even know something like that could happen; on the other hand, I would have never thought it was possible for me to be paraded around as a baby on a stage in front of hundreds of teenage girls, either.

 

            But then of course I thought about everything Johnny had told me. His past was remarkable; it was hard to believe that he had been here ten years, and that he witnessed everyone besides him fall to the decoding process. And I was horrified by some of the things he told me he went through; I had it pretty bad, but I didn’t think my experience could slightly compare to his.

 

             But my mind was mainly focused on Johnny’s sudden change of emotion towards me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he had told me that I and everyone else here were lucky to be here. The mere thought of it made me hate Johnny; he had no idea who I was and he had no right to tell me what was good for me. Yeah, so I did some pretty bad things; I wasn’t the most well behaved kid in the world. But to say that I deserved to be degraded and treated like I was a one year old kid was an insult. This program was inhumane; no one on this planet was bad enough to have this happen to them. Compared to this, prison seemed like heaven.

 

            This was how I felt; or at least, how I wanted to feel. But for some reason Johnny’s words made my stomach feel weak. I thought about what I had done before I got here. I thought about all those nights my mom had cried because I had gotten into a fight. I thought about all the times I felt angry or sad and my dad hadn’t given a damn about me. I thought about all the times my mom looked out for me or bailed me out when I had done something bad in school. I thought about all the time my teachers had invested in me trying to get me to learn, and how I had just thrown everything back into their faces.

 

            Johnny thought I was a selfish, snot-nosed brat. The insult meant little to me by this point; countless people, including McPherson, had referred to me as such. But it was different coming from Johnny; he was someone I had truly felt was on my side. He knew what it was like to be a delinquent teenager. He knew the shame I felt from having to wear diapers. He knew what it was like to be publicly humiliated in front of crowds of people. And despite all of this, he praised the program. He said that I was lucky to be here.

 

            I looked around the room. I had never really thought about the kids here; I really viewed them in the same way that I had viewed real babies. To me they were nothing more than babies. But they were all once just like me, law-breakers who would probably have grown up to be criminals who would die or be thrown in jail before they were thirty. But now they were harmless. They were innocent kids who were happy just to be held and loved.

 

            Was the program really fucked up? Was it really that bad? I had already gotten used to wearing diapers and being bottle-fed; after a while it wasn’t really all that embarrassing. Had Johnny been right all along? Was it my pride that was the problem? Should I be thankful to be here?

 

            I tried to find a flaw in Johnny’s logic. It seemed like there must be something that I could say that would prove that this program was just morally or ethically wrong. But was it if it really fixed kids? Johnny had told me that the system worked, and that a few criminal kids who had been through the program were now happy citizens.

 

            Did the ends justify the means? Or did that still not mean the program was right?

 

            But the real question was my own personal role in all of this. My life had been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I would get huge thrills out of going out, drinking and fighting. But once it was all over, I didn’t really feel satisfied. I felt empty inside. I had no one to tell about my, well, my feelings. None of my girlfriends wanted anything more than a good screw. My friends all would have laughed at me and told me to stop being a faggot. My dad probably would have said the same. And my mom…I think she just wanted to form me into someone I wasn’t rather than listen to what I truly felt.

 

            Had I ever really been loved? Had anyone really cared about me? Did this program really offer me that? Should I start over from scratch and get the attention that any human being deserves from the beginning?

 

            Was I really just a baby who needed to be nurtured and cared for?

 

            I still didn’t know what to think about all of this, and I was rocked out of my deep thought by someone picking me up. It was of course another one of the nannies but I couldn’t see her face. I then noticed that I was wet again; I guess all of my thoughts had distracted me. Preparing myself mentally for a diaper change, I just let out a sigh.

 

            But the nanny didn’t carry me to a changing table; instead she carried me out of the nursery. I was puzzled about this until I heard a voice.

 

            “Shh…I’ve got something to tell you. I’ll change you in one of these tiny rooms without cameras.”

 

            I was a little surprised to realize it was Tammy. Everything that had happened had almost driven her out of my mind. And now she had something to tell me. I just waited patiently as she slipped into one of the tiny changing rooms.

 

            She quickly put me down on my back and began to change my diaper. As she did so, carefully keeping her voice down, she said, “Ok, I don’t have much time. It’s time for your nap and I don’t think they noticed me taking you in here. But they’ll notice you’re gone soon. So let me fill you in.”

 

            She removed my wet diaper and started to wipe me. I began to speak, since I wanted to tell her about Johnny.

 

            “Tammy, I’ve got something to tell you about too…”

 

            “There’s no time!” she hissed. “Cody, listen. I know you’ve just been through hell and I’m extremely relieved that punishment level 5 didn’t reduce you to a baby. But now that it hasn’t, I need you to help me out. You have to passively fight the decoding. I don’t know how you made it through level 5, but if they make you go through it again, or worse, put you through a higher level, I don’t know if you’ll make it. So you have to promise me you’ll be good and not push their limits!”

 

            “Why?” I asked as she took out a new diaper and placed it underneath me. It felt like she was my mom and was telling me to just be a good little boy. After all, I hated being told what to do. “What difference does it make?”

 

            “A lot!” she said as she started to tape my diaper around my waist. “Because I’ve just had a major breakthrough. It looks like I’ll be able to get you out of here in just a few days, but it won’t matter if you get decoded between then and now.”

 

            A rush of excitement filled my body. I couldn’t believe it; I’d be leaving this place intact in a matter of days! I excitedly asked her, “What have you found out? What’s the breakthrough?”

 

            After she fastened my sleeper back on me, she began to say, “Well, I’ve recently found out…”

 

            But the door to the room slammed open. Standing in the doorway were two nannies, and they didn’t look happy at all.

 

            “Tammy, what are you doing?” asked one of them.

 

            As Tammy stood there surprised, the other nanny rushed past me and grabbed me into her arms.

 

            Tammy just said, “I was just taking Cody here, and um, changing him before his nap…”

 

            “And you had to take him here to do so, huh? I’ve been watching you lately. Took Cody out to the park yesterday, did you? Was it just to show him off? Or is there some other reason you’ve been so interested in him?”

 

            Tammy just responded, “Look, you know as well as I do that Cody’s just a filthy little brat who needs to be babied to set him straight. Ask the kids in the park, they made fun of his diapered state.”

 

            Before I could hear anymore of the conversation, the nanny who was holding me carried me out of the room. The last bit I caught was the other nanny saying, “Well, I think it would be best for all of us that you stay away from Cody from now on. I think you believe that you’re a little bit above the system, don’t you Tammy? You had better watch yourself, or you might find out that conceited little girls might need to be reminded that just like babies, they are not in charge. Speaking of which, why did you not just change Cody back in the nursery instead of bringing him here?”

 

            But I wasn’t able to here Tammy’s response. I struggled to escape, but a shock kept me from doing so. The other nanny carried me into a crib room. After feeding me a bottle while rocking me in a rocking chair, the nanny strapped me in a crib for the night.

 

            I was left there in thoughts again. Now another piece of information was lodged in my brain. On top of everything else, now I was thinking about Tammy. She had said that her “breakthrough” could get me out of this place in a few days. But now she had been caught sneaking me out of the nursery. Would she be punished? Would she be fired? Was it even possible that she could be shipped away and forced to be in a start-over program?

 

            It seemed like one thing was for sure; I wouldn’t be seeing her for a while, considering what the nanny had said. But I still had the faint hope that maybe she would still be able to get me out of here in the next few days, despite our encounter with the nannies.

 

            My mind was so overwhelmed that I drifted off to sleep in no time. As I did, I knew one thing was for sure; it had definitely been one crazy day.

 

Part 13

 

            I still remember that night very well. Once again, my sleep was filled with dreams. Most of them I forgot, but not one. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget this dream, because it was the thing that changed my entire life.

 

            I was walking down a street in my neighborhood. I was in normal clothes and it was just like any other time that I had walked down that street. Suddenly, all around me, a bunch of guys that I had known had appeared. These were guys that I had fought many times and I knew they wanted to beat me to a pulp.

 

            But I had a knife in my hands, and before any of them could do anything, I slashed and slashed. A few of them fell to the ground bleeding and screaming in pain. As the rest closed in, I dodged their attacks and sank my knife deep into their bodies one by one. I felt a rush of triumph and joy as I did so; I had slain my enemies and their bodies were left twitching on the ground before me.

 

            Then the mood changed. Because as I stood there, each one of the guys stood up. But now, they weren’t themselves anymore; they had each transformed into one of the nannies in the center. Each had a smile on their face, and one said, “Naughty wittle Cody needs to be punished for being a bad boy!”

 

            They closed in on me, and as they did so, I noticed that each one had a baby item in their hands. One had a container of baby powder, one had a diaper, on had a pacifier, one had a teddy bear, one had a baby bottle…the list continued.

 

            Each one let out a triumphant laugh as they knew they were about to have their way with me. But I was ready this time; I didn’t cower before them as I had in my previous dreams. I was pissed; all the anger and hatred I felt inside because of all of the times they had taken control of me and forced me to drink a bottle or wear a diaper filled my entire body. Now I had no collar around my neck, and they had no control over me. Especially not when I had a pistol in my hand, as I did now…

 

            Before they could step any closer, I pointed my gun and pulled the trigger, lodging a bullet right in the forehead of the nearest one. As she screamed and collapsed, I turned and shot another one in the stomach.

 

            The others began to realize the danger they were in, so they each dropped their baby item and turned to run. But as they did so, I picked them off one by one and laughed heartily as I heard their squeals of pain.

 

            I then shot one in the leg and watched her grasp it and crash into the pavement. I walked over and turned her over so I could see the look of terror on her face. It was the nanny who had first taken me to see the girls at the Catholic school. Hatred burning inside me, I shot her four more times in the legs just to torture her as much as I could. I finally ended it by putting the barrel right up against her forehead and firing, feeling not the slightest sense of remorse as her brains splattered against the pavement.

 

            There was one left, however. As she tried to make a break for it, I caught her in the leg as well and watched her hopes of escaping me drift away. I ran over and turned her body over. It was the nanny who had taken me to punishment level 5, the one who I had hated the most. In seeing her face I was filled with a rage that I had never experienced before, and the only thing I wanted to do was inflict as much pain as possible onto every single inch of her body.

 

            I took the pistol and beat her with it. Blow after blow struck her head and I blanked out her terrified yells as bruises formed on her face. I was in control now, and I was going to make her pay for every bit of humiliation she had forced on me. I took my fists and pummeled her stomach, and then I stood up and stomped her as well. I then decided to end it; I grabbed a nearby knife and stuck in directly in her throat, feeling deep satisfaction as her body finally went limp.

 

            Standing up, I let out a triumphant yell as I stood there in my glory. An insane laughter took over me, and I felt on top of the world.

 

            But then I heard a sound; it was the sound of someone crying. Looking around, I noticed that there were now children all around me. There were boys and girls, ranging from age five to age ten. Each one was kneeling beside one of the nannies, and tears were pouring down their faces as they let out loud sobs. They were shaking with grief and their high pitched cries hurt my ears.

 

            Realizing what I had done, I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands, forcing myself not to look at them. But then they started speaking to me, yelling at me with grief and anger.

 

            “YOU KILLED MY MOMMY!” one girl screeched. “How could you?! She was so nice!”

 

            “MINE TOO!” yelled a boy. “You’re a monster! She’s dead because of you!”

 

            They all yelled out similar things and I broke down into tears, wishing they would stop.

 

            As I looked up, more people had appeared. The bodies of the guys I hated were on the street now as well, and their were older couples around each one of them, also crying uncontrollably.

 

            “My little boy!” screamed one woman. “You took my little boy away from me!”

 

            A man yelled, “You little brat! You’ve destroyed my boy’s life! You’re worse than the dirt on my shoe! You deserve to be tortured to death!”

 

            “You’re nothing!” yelled a woman. “I should stomp you like the bug you are! You don’t deserve to breathe the air of this world!”

 

            “STOP!” I yelled out, tears still running down my face. “I didn’t mean to! I..I’m sorry!”

 

            “That doesn’t take back what you did!” yelled a man. “You’re worthless! You’re an evil, selfish little punk and no one on this earth gives a damn about you, because they shouldn’t! You think only about yourself and what you want! You don’t care about anyone else!”

 

            “SHUT UP!!!” I screamed. “It’s not my fault!”

 

            I then heard my dad’s voice. Standing right in front of me, he yelled. “Yes it is, you little piece of trash! We did our best for you, tried to make you realize that you were throwing your life away! But noooo, you continued to be a selfish little wussy, and because of that, I’ll never admit you’re my son!”

 

            I felt his spit fall upon my face. I screamed again, grasping my head with my hands. I felt as thought my head would explode.

 

            I then heard my mom’s voice, crying. “Cody, what happened to you?” she said through her sobs. “You used to be such a sweet little baby! Now look at you! You’re a horrible person! We really tried to make you listen! We tried to get you to do right! But you still act like a selfish baby!”

 

            “NOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I screeched. “That’s a lie! I’m not a baby! I’m a fourteen year old boy!”

 

            “You’re an excuse of a fourteen year old!” my dad said. “You should have never been born, because you just made this world worse! Don’t you get it? We hate you. We all hate you. No one gives a damn about you!”

 

            “He’s right,” my mom said. “We used to love you, Cody, but now we all hate you.”

 

            Everyone in the crowd said the same thing, screaming “WE HATE YOU! WE HATE YOU!”

 

            I collapsed onto the ground in a heap, curling myself up into a ball. I tried to block out there voices. Eventually, their voices started to fade. As I kept my eyes closed, the voices eventually disappeared. I opened my eyes, and was shocked at what I saw.

            

            I no longer was on a street, but now on a never ending patch of grass. The sun was bright and the sky was blue. And standing right in front of me was Tracy, with a big smile on my face.

 

            I was still crying, and this prompted Tracy to say, “Don’t cry, Cody. I’ll make it all better!”

 

            “But…but…no one likes me! They all hate me!” I said through sobs.

 

            “Well, Cody, you see, that’s because they want you to be something that you’re not!”

 

            “W…what?” I asked.

 

            “They want you to put others before you. They want you to be responsible. They want you to think about your actions. They want you to understand and do what they say. But you shouldn’t have to do that…you can’t do that!”

 

            “Finally, someone understands!” I yelled happily. I was so happy that I didn’t care that Tracy was now much, much bigger than me and that I now lying down naked on a big white cloth.

 

            “That’s right!” Tracy said with a smile. “Because they want you to be fourteen. They don’t understand that you’re not fourteen, you’re still a baby!”

 

            She leaned over me and smiled, gripping the edges of the white cloth and pulling it over my waist.

 

            “You see, Cody,” she said. “Babies can’t listen to adults. They are selfish. They don’t think about their actions. They aren’t responsible. And I know that you are just like that…you’re a baby!”

 

            I began to cry again as Tracy took two safety pins and pinned the cloth tightly around my waist.

 

            “No, I’m not a baby!” I yelled at her.

 

            “Yes, Cody, you are,” Tracy said as she tied a baby bonnet around my head. “You’re still a baby. But that’s ok! I don’t hate you like everyone else does. They don’t know you’re a baby, but I do. So I will treat you like one and love you like one. Until you’re ready to grow up, I’ll treat you like a baby!”

 

            “No,” I said as she tried to put a baby bottle into my mouth. “No…no…no…”

 

            I then woke up and found myself in my crib again. It was still night, and I was shaking, sweating, and breathing heavily because of my dream.

 

            It took me a few minutes to calm down and think about it. It had been extremely scary and disturbing. All I could think about was how I had killed those nannies, how everyone was crying, how everyone viewed me as a waste of flesh, and how Tracy had said it was because I still acted like a baby.

 

            I remembered how Johnny had told me I was lucky to be here. I remembered all of the attention and care the nannies had given me. I remembered how happy every one of the other kids here had been.

 

            I couldn’t really figure out why, but I had a bit of an epiphany; they were all right. I realized that for all those years I had been wrong; I had been acting like a childish, disobedient little two year old. I didn’t listen to what the people who looked out for me were trying to tell me. I had made them all hate me. That’s why my parents sent me here; it was for my own benefit, not punishment. They wanted to give me a second chance, a chance to grow up and do everything right. I was still a baby and I needed this program to force me into my true role and then get me to go through and grow up, something I had never done before.

 

            This change of outlooks may have happened very suddenly, but the dream had been that powerful. I felt like a blindfold had been lifted from my eyes and I now saw life the way it really was. I had painted this false image in my mind of who I was and why I did what I did, and now I realized how wrong I had been. It was amazing and hard to believe, but I had been through a lot in the past few weeks that was amazing and hard to believe as well.

 

            I couldn’t get back to sleep. My dream had been too scary, plus the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about what it had made me realize. Hours passed, and eventually a nanny came in to get me up.

 

            I was almost in a daze as she changed my dirty diaper, gave me a bath and spoon-fed me. I complied without the slightest since of resistance as I continued to think about everything.

 

            Eventually I was plopped into a nursery again. I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I just leaned against a wall and stared at the floor.

 

            Hearing someone come over, I looked up. To my great surprise, it was Johnny. As he crawled closer I noticed the look on his face; it wasn’t angry at all, but kind of solemn.

 

            As he got close to me, he looked at me, let out a sigh, and in his calm, normal voice (minus the sarcasm) said, “Look, kid…I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”

 

            I was puzzled by this, so I said, “Johnny…”

 

            But he put up a hand and said, “No really, kid, I mean it. I blew my top yesterday. I had no right to yell at you like I did. It was uncalled for, low, mean, and just petty. I’m in no position to tell you what you deserve. This place is rough, and I know more than anyone how hard it can be here. I know that you’ve done some bad stuff, but it was wrong of me to say that you belong here and that you’re a no-good brat. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of positive qualities about you and that your friends and parents do love you…”

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s the thing,” I said. “You were right yesterday. You were exactly right. I’m…I’m just a baby. I’m a spoiled, pampered (literally) little brat who only thinks about himself. If I ever get out of here, I’ll change my ways. I’ll do things right. I’d grow up and stop being a baby. But until then, I should be treated like what I am…a little baby.”

 

            Johnny started to speak again, a small smile crossing his face as he did so. “Kid, no, really, you’re not a baby, I was wrong in saying that…”

 

            “No, Johnny,” I said firmly. “I was a horrible little punk. You were right, I’m lucky to be here. I don’t deserve the love and care that they give me. Everyone else hated me, and rightly so since I didn’t act like I was fourteen, I acted like I was one.”

 

            Johnny reacted strangely to this. For a few seconds, a huge grin crossed his face and he let out a small laugh. But then suddenly, his face went really serious again, and he looked almost depressed. He looked into my eyes for a few more seconds, and then asked in a depressing tone, “Well, kid, what are you gonna do now?”

 

            I just stared at him blankly. What was a I gonna do? If I really did believe what I was saying, then I should just give up and be decoded, right? If I really thought I was a baby, I should just let them treat me one and completely become one, right?

 

            So why was it that I still couldn’t make myself think that this was the right answer? Why did I still dread the thought of being turned into a helpless, mindless baby?

 

            Then it hit me; I didn’t need to be decoded to realize that I was a baby who needed to grow up. The program had already taught me that; I knew now that I had wasted my whole life acting like a baby. But I also knew that if they let me out, I could turn around my life and show them that I can grow up on my own without being decoded.

 

            But I knew they’d never buy that. The nannies would just think I was lying and causing trouble in order to make them let me go and end the baby treatment that they knew I despised. So what WAS I going to do? Once I had the answer, I told Johnny.

 

            “Johnny, I’m going to fight.”

 

            “What?” he asked.

 

            “I’m going to fight this system. I know that I’ve been wrong my whole life. I know I’ve been acting like a baby. But I also know I can make myself change. I don’t need to be decoded to realize either one of those things. So I’m gonna fight, and through this I’m gonna prove to the nannies and the creators of this program that I have a strong will that can’t be broken. I have a will to change my entire life, to grow up and live it like I should. And I will make them see that will in an unstoppable resistance to this decoding process. I will make them realize that I have the power to change!”

 

            Johnny just fixedly stared at me for a little bit, and then calmly said, “Well, kid, no one has ever done that before. There were a couple of kids who told the nannies that they knew they were babies and were willing to admit it in front of their parents and friends, and they got a ticket out of here. True, they did still have to be babies in front of their parents for a bit…”

 

            “No, Johnny, I’m not doing that,” I said. “My parents would never take me back in; they don’t really love me, they just put me here to make me grow up so they wouldn’t have to do it. I know it’s my fault that I never grew up, but if they had helped me out instead of just yelling all the time, I probably would have been different. No, I’m gonna do this on my own.”

 

            “Well, kid, it’s like I said, no one has ever done it. Donny had a record of five years, and even I only managed to fight for seven, and I had friends with me. But, kid, if anyone can do it, you can. You’ve already broken all sorts of records here, and if what you’re saying is true, I believe you can do it.

 

            “Well, kid, my time here is almost up. Tomorrow’s the day that I get out of here, so today they’re gonna do all sorts of tests on me to make sure I’m ready. So I have to be going, and I don’t think I’ll be seeing you again anytime soon, if ever. So, kid, good luck.”

 

            “You too,” I said. “I hope your escape plan goes the way you want it to.”

 

            “Me too, kid,” he said. Then, he crawled very close to me and gave me a hug. I gave him one too. After he let go, he waved bye to me and crawled over to a nanny. As she picked him up and carried him out of the room, I waved again and felt a tear fall down my cheek.

 

            It was hard to believe that Johnny was really leaving. I had gotten so used to him being here; even if I didn’t always see him, I knew he was still there and I always felt that I’d get a chance to talk to him in the near future. But with him gone, I was now on my own.

 

            This was even more accentuated by the situation with Tammy. I really had no idea what was going to happen to her. Was she gonna keep working but just be prohibited from seeing me? Or was it something more serious? Would she be punished somehow? Would she be fired? Was it even possible that they would go so far as to put her in a program like this one for girls?

 

            And what about Johnny? Would his escape plan work? Would he be out on his own and become the first kid ever to successfully fight and escape the program? Would he be able to do OK in the real world?

 

            Or would he be caught? I shuddered to think what would happen to him if he failed. He had already been through so much here, and they even thought that he had been decoded for three years. They sure would be surprised when they found out he had fooled them. But they would also be extremely angry, so if he failed, he would be so deep in shit he’d be swimming in it.

 

            Suffice to say, no matter what happened, it didn’t look like I’d be seeing Tammy or Johnny for a long time. Just how long it would be was a complete mystery.

 

            With that in mind, I began to think about what I would do now. Without Johnny or Tammy to talk to, I was doomed to spend my time here with no one to talk to who didn’t treat me like a baby. According to Johnny, because of this, I had no chance of fighting the decoding. But I had to try; my desire to prove them wrong about me was too strong.

 

            I didn’t know what the best strategy was, but I decided that the first thing I would do is take the collar out of their weaponry. Even though there was no way I could get it off, I could build my resistance to it. Under my breath, I uttered a cuss word. Like always, I received a five second shock. It was horrible, but I knew that I could take it. Over the next few minutes, I kept saying cuss words and getting shocked. It started to wear me out after a while; it was harder than I thought, and the pain was still pretty excruciating. Nonetheless, I pressed on, knowing that it would pay off in the end.

 

            I only got about another thirty seconds before it was time for a nap. A nanny took me away to a crib, and with the pacifier in my mouth, I was unable to continue to build my shock resistance. Besides, I was exhausted, so in no time I was fast asleep.

 

            I slept very peacefully; “like a baby”, I guess you could say. But after a quick bottle and diaper change, I was once again left by myself in the nursery. Careful to make sure the nannies weren’t watching, I continued to fight against the collar.

 

            I continued to do this for the next few days. It was one of the hardest things I had yet to do here, especially because eventually the shocks became longer with each curse. It only took a certain number of shocks to bring tears to my eyes, and I had to struggle to keep myself from screaming in pain.

 

            But I refused to give in. I was partly motivated because I could tell that little by little I was getting used to the pain. In addition, I timed it so I could give myself breaks.

 

            During these breaks I would think more about how I would fight the system. I knew the number one rule was to stay calm and not lose my cool, no matter what the nannies did to me. I decided to just make myself completely swallow my pride and not let the baby treatment bother me. Johnny was right; so what if I had to piss my diaper? So what if I had to suck a pacifier? It wasn’t really that bad once you got used to it.

 

            But at the same time, I didn’t want to get too into it. If I let down my guard and let myself drift away in my baby treatment, I knew there would be a huge risk of turning into a baby. I knew I had to keep on fighting the system and do whatever I could to make the nannies forget their positions and talk to me like a teenager rather than a baby.

 

            This line of thought led me to strive to keep a balance; I would press the nannies just enough to make them irritated with me but not angry. I would act like a good little baby for a few days, and then all of a sudden do something bad. I decided to show them that the shocking wasn’t affecting me; I felt this would help to make them get more frustrated with me and slip up. However, I didn’t want to push them too far; I thought it would be best if I could make them stick to the first couple of punishment levels.

 

            A few days in I began to implement my strategy. It was difficult to pass the free time, but I tried to look for ways to amuse myself. At first I managed to just do stupid things, like picking at the carpet or counting ceiling tiles, to pass the time. This was really boring, but I knew it would help me keep my teenage mind. However, those toys and stories became more and more tempting.

 

            Still, I was a good little boy for a few days. The nannies seemed to be happy as I giggled during diaper changes and eagerly sucked down the milk in my bottles. But after those few days, during a diaper change, I un-strapped myself and tried to roll off of the changing table. I got a shock, and I faked a cry to satisfy the nanny.

 

            I continued this same routine for a few more weeks, sometimes pushing the nannies further than others. I tried to be creative in my ways of defying them; it gave me some laughs if nothing else. After a few weeks I managed to get a full resistance to the shocks; they hardly affected me at all. Once I reached that state, I decided to push them a little more.

 

            The spankings weren’t really a big deal at all; they hardly hurt compared to the shocks, and it wasn’t really all that embarrassing. However, I didn’t want to press my luck; I screamed and thrashed in fake humiliation when I got spanked, just to make them think they were getting to me.

 

            Weeks passed and passed. So far, my plan was going very well. I managed to keep my head and make sure I didn’t lose my teenage thoughts. I managed to enjoy myself enough to pass the time without becoming too bored. I wasn’t phased at all by any of my baby treatment. I shifted my behavior enough to frustrate the nannies and keep them on their toes. I hoped I would confuse all of the people in charge my making them think they were doing a good job on me but then make them realize that I was still fighting. My acting really seemed to confuse them; for all I knew they thought I was becoming subject to mood swings.

 

            Either way, I was cruising. I had managed to make it really far without being decoded. But it was becoming harder and harder to keep this pace up.

 

            Johnny was right; you did lose track of time in this place. After a while I was completely oblivious as to how long I had been here. I also began to get anxious because I had heard nothing from Tammy; as more and more time passed, I began to doubt whether or not she would be able to help me. After all, for all I knew she was being treated like a baby right now. And there was still no sign of Johnny, either. I still lay awake at night sometimes wondering what those two were doing as I was still stuck here.

 

            I was sure that new kids were being introduced into the program, but like Johnny had said, I never saw them, since the nannies knew that I still wasn’t decoded. Without anyone to talk to, I really had to work hard to keep my head on straight.

 

            I began to get sick of the baby food and baby bottles. I began to get more and more tired of having to get my diaper changed or be given baths. I couldn’t resist the urge to play with baby toys to keep me entertained.

 

            I slipped up a few times and pushed the nannies too far, meaning that I had to go through punishment levels three, four and five again (although each one at separate intervals). The second times weren’t nearly as bad, especially since Johnny had made me feel better about it before. But still, they definitely put a dent in my resisting process.

 

            Slowly but surely, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep up my fight. Sometimes I would just zone out, and before I knew it, I would have been playing with some blocks for hours. More and more often I would let out a cry when I was hungry or wet and not even mean to. Babyish giggles would slip out of my mouth when being changed. I would slip into states of bliss when sucking my thumb or cuddling a teddy bear. I still managed to snap myself out of it whenever I began to slip up and act like a baby, but it started happening more and more frequently.

 

            Time continued to pass on and on and I really began to get worried. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to keep this up for much longer. It became clear to me that the nannies and creators knew what they were doing and were completely unrelenting in keeping up my babyish treatment. To make matters worse, one day one of the nannies told me that my parents had heard about my bad behavior in the program, and that they refused to take me back until I had been completely decoded and reconstructed. Although I knew that it was possible that the nannies were lying and just telling me this to make me give up, but at the same time, it sounded exactly like the kind of thing my parents would do.

 

            I truly became desperate, and I lost all hope in Tammy. She surely would have done something by now. I knew that I was completely on my own, and that my only hope was to fight the process until they gave in. It was either them or me. But I still had no clue as to how long I had been here, and I knew that the record was five years. I tried not to think about the time as I continued to struggle to fight.

 

            Eventually I wasn’t even myself anymore. I would just black out for minutes at a time and realize that I had been a baby during that time. But I was still able to regain my composure and remind myself of who I was. But I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted by all of this that I needed a nap to get back my strength. After even more time I got to the point that I was surviving day by day. Each day I told myself ‘Just one more day…just one more…they’ll give up if you keep fighting just one more day…’

 

            But give up they didn’t. In fact, they seemed to notice that I was cracking, and they seemed to have an extra skip in their step when dealing with me. I was truly disgusted by the fact that I was in a state that I couldn’t really defy them the way I wanted to anymore.

 

            One night after being put in my crib, I just burst into tears. I guessed that it had been about a year since I had entered the program, and I was just a shell of the person that I once was. ‘What’s the point?’ I asked myself. ‘What’s the point in fighting? Nothing’s gonna change. I’m doomed to this fate. Everyone has decided that I need to start over. Maybe Johnny was right. Maybe I just need to start over. It’s a second chance, right? That’s it! I’ll just throw in the towel. It’s not worth it anymore. It’s too hard to keep this up. I can be happy again by giving in. I can suck my thumb without feeling bad about it. I can cuddle my teddy bear with no one telling me I’m a wussy. I can start over, make everything right, and most importantly….be…happy…for the first time in my life…’

 

            I drifted off to sleep just thinking that it was the only way. I can come to the end. It was time to just admit that they were all right and that I should accept what I truly was; a baby. But at least I could be a happy baby.

 

            When I woke up in the morning, these thoughts were still in my head. I prepared myself to just be happily held in one of the nanny’s arms and let her change my dirty diaper without a struggle. It really was the only way…

 

            But when the nanny did show up, I found out that I was wrong; apparently, it wasn’t the only way after all.

 

Part 14

 

            It was just one of the same old regular nannies, so at first I just sighed and decided it was finally time to just give up. But then I realized there was something different about this nanny; it was her face. I had never seen any of the nannies ever look as angry as she looked. I mean, they had definitely gotten frustrated with me and been very strict, but this nanny looked exactly like she hated me with all of her might. The scowl on her face was just frightening. She leaned over and began to un-strap me out of my crib violently, not caring how rough she was with me. After she got me free, she yanked my pacifier out of my mouth and said in a very angry voice, “All right, you stupid little punk, get up, let’s get this over with!” She then grabbed me and threw me over her shoulder and began to walk very quickly.

 

            I just let her carry me because I was too scared to do anything. Her actions had been so shocking that I wasn’t even thinking about everything I had the night before; I was too curious to see what was going on to give in at this moment. But I only nervously thought, ‘What the hell could I have possibly done this time? What is it now?’

 

            The nanny carried me down the hall and into one of the bathrooms. She laid me down and proceeded to change my diaper like the nannies always did, except she wasn’t gentle with me, but rather very firm, a look of anger still etched across her face.

 

            After I had been changed into a new diaper, I expected just the same normal baby treatment. So that’s why I was completely shocked when the nanny whistled and two men walked into the room.

 

            It was two of the strong guys who had carried me in this place on my very first day; I hadn’t seen any of them since. In their arms they were carrying some clothes. Once the nanny took them and unfolded them, to my surprise, I realized that they were actually parts of a dress suit!

 

            While the two guys held me up, the nanny took a white dress shirt and slipped my arms through the sleeves. I just stood there mystified as she then put my legs through a pair of black dress pants, tucked my shirt in, looped a belt tightly around my waist, and tied a black neck-tie around my neck. Next, she put some black socks and a pair of shoes on my feet. Finally, she combed my hair and brushed my teeth.

 

            I had never been the least bit crazy about dress-up clothes, but it had been so long that I had worn anything that wasn’t baby clothing that frankly, I welcomed the change. But why?

 

            The two guys put my arms over their shoulders and carried me out of the bathroom with the nanny leading the way. It felt so weird to be carried like this, with my feet being dragging along the floor; I had gotten so used to being carried in the various ways someone carries a baby.

 

            All of this made me realize something; for some reason, they weren’t treating me like a baby, at least for the moment. I wasn’t being talked to like a baby, I was wearing a suit, and I was willing to bet the only reason I was being carried at all was because my legs didn’t have the ability to walk. But what the hell was going on?

 

            I was still curious as the guys followed the nanny down the hall. Eventually, we reached a set of double doors. After the nanny opened them and went in, the guys proceeded to carry me in as well. My mouth dropped open at what I saw.

 

            We were in what looked like a very, very dark courtroom. I could just barely make out what was going on. On either side were rows of seats separated from the path me and the guards were on by a thin barrier. The rows were filled with people, and to my great shock, I recognized most of them. I saw my parents, my old friends, my old teachers…it seemed like almost like everyone from my past was here. Their faces were all expressionless, almost as if they were made of stone.

 

            The guards carried me down the little passageway for about twenty feet. There was a huge spotlight where the rows came to an end, and a tiny little chair with chains attached to its arms. In front of it stood a huge counter-like structure; it rose about ten feet up. As we got closer, I looked up and saw about twenty people behind the tall counter. I could only just make them out through the light.

 

            Finally, we reached the little chair, and the two guards lowered me into it. They then chained my arms down to both armrests. I could feel my heart beating with anxiety; I still had no clue as to what was going on.

 

            After I was in the chair, I looked up to see the people before me. The spotlight almost blinded my eyes, but I could still manage to make out the people. There were men and women, and they were all wearing dark, black robes. To my surprise, I even recognized a few of them.

 

            McPherson was up there, and he was the only one not wearing a black robe. Instead, he was wearing another damn tight, black leather suit…I still don’t understand it. I also saw Mrs. Walker, the head of the Catholic School, the woman who had displayed me in front of all of those girls. But most of them I didn’t recognize. However, I realized who I must have been sitting in front of; these were the creators of The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths. I glanced around at the some of the ones I didn’t recognize.

 

            Right in front of me was the only one who’s face I couldn’t see. It was a large figure, and I assumed it was a man. I couldn’t make out his face, but he had long hair that came down both sides of his head and I could tell he was smoking a cigar.

 

            I saw a thin old man with tiny spectacles and thin, grey hair. He was so wrinkled he reminded me of a prune. I saw a black woman with curly hair and thick glasses. I saw a young, sharp looking man with streaky blonde hair and bright sparkling teeth. I saw a black man with dreadlocks. I saw a tiny Asian woman who kind of looked like a mouse.

 

            After I got a good look around, I hear a voice to my right, “Session for Luke Cody Stephens beginning. Judge Vincent Rhines will be in charge of the hearing.” I recognized the voice; it belonged to the woman who had narrated the video package of me as a baby that was shown in front of all of the girls.

 

            “Very well, very well,” Judge Rhines’ voiced boomed out. His voice was incredibly low and it felt like it was echoing off of the walls it was so deep. “Luke Cody Stephens, is it?” Somehow I knew he was directing this question at me.

 

            I had trouble finding my voice. Maybe it was because I hadn’t talked to anyone normally in so long, or maybe it was because I was so nervous and I felt like my voice was lodged inside my stomach. I opened my mouth but no words came out.

 

            “The honorable Judge Rhines asked you a question, boy!” yelled out the old man with spectacles. “Answer him this instant!”

 

            Before I could respond, Rhanes let out a deep chuckle. “Ha ha ha…calm down, Mr. Mitwick. Give the boy some time. It’s obvious he’s frightened. Just look at him cower!”

 

            As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Rhines was right. There was something extremely intimidating about the man, and every word he spoke made me even more nervous.

 

            “It’s ok, little boy,” Rhines continued. “You probably don’t even have any idea why you are here. So I’ll let Mrs. Friedman explain.”

 

            The black lady with the curly hair stood up and began to speak, “Luke Cody Stephens, you have now currently been enrolled in The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths for three full years to the date.”

 

            Three years?! I couldn’t believe it; I truly had lost track of time! I almost felt as if I had been in a time warp! But what the hell was going on? Why was I here now?

 

            “Most children enrolled in our program are successfully decoded in a matter of weeks…”

 

            “You do know what decoding is, don’t you boy?” asked the dude with dreadlocks.

 

            “Silence, Rolivio!” yelled Mitwick to the dreadlock dude. “You cannot give away our secrets to the boy! What if he catches on? Then we shall never succeed!”

 

            “Mitwick, buddy, it doesn’t matter at this point,” said the young blonde guy in a drawling, almost bored voice.

 

            “And why not, Hale?” asked Mitwick.

 

            “Mr. Mitwick, again, calm yourself,” said Rhines in a calm voice. Even though it was so calm, it was still very loud and bass filled. “Mr. Rolivio and Mr. Hale are correct. There is no harm in telling the boy. Besides, he already knows about the decoding process anyway, don’t you, boy?”

 

            Before I could answer, the Asian lady said in a high pitched squeak, “What?! How could he possibly know?”

 

            “Because, Mrs. Pepperdine, he has been informed. There have been infiltrators into our system and Mr. Stephens was warned about our methods almost from the beginning.”

 

            “What?!” yelled Mrs. Friedman in a dignified voice. “Excuse me, Mr. Rhines, but how is that possible? It’s preposterous.”

 

            “It is not, Mrs. Friedman,” Rhines said. “Our nannies failed to do their jobs properly. My methods were perfect, but their execution was highly flawed. They allowed these infiltrators to slip through the cracks and influence young Mr. Stephens here. He has been aware from his first day what our program does and how it works. He has even received tips as to how to fight the system. That is the only reason he has lasted as long as he has.”

 

            The people on the panel in front of me began to murmur as they heard this information. Apparently they did not know this beforehand. My head was still swimming with so many thoughts that I continued to remain silent.

 

            “But Mr. Rhines,” began Mr. Rolivio. “If you have been aware of this, why did you allow it to continue? Why didn’t you stop it from the beginning?”

 

            “Because, Mr. Rolivio, it matters not. All of the boys who come through here are weaklings, and my methods are flawless. I knew it was only a matter of time before Mr. Stephens gave in. He was cuddling his teddy bear and sucking his thumb for comfort in a matter of days…he obviously did not have the will power to resist such inner temptations for long.”

 

            He let out a deep booming laugh as he said this, and many people in the audience laughed as well. This seemed to break me out of my trance, so I began to speak.

 

            “So why am I here?” I asked nervously.

 

            “Silence!” boomed McPherson. “You will not speak unless spoken to!”

 

            “Let the boy speak, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. “So you want to know, do you son? Well, as Mrs. Friedman was saying, most little boys like yourself cannot truly resist their inner desires to become babies for long. Oh, you look surprised when I say that. But I don’t know why. It’s obvious that you, Luke, have internal desires to be a baby again. That’s why you acted like one before you even stepped foot inside our program.”

 

            “Hear hear!” I heard my dad yell from the back as Rhines said this. I wanted to punch him.

 

            “All our program does is give you what you truly desire and deserve, boy. And as I predicted, you almost collapsed under your desires in a matter of days, once you got over the shock of it. But things didn’t go as planned; you had help and were led to believe that you in fact did not want this. But I did not interfere, knowing that it would not matter in the end. I decided to just watch you and see what you did, Mr. Stephens. I knew from the beginning that you were an interesting one. Why, you burst into tears on your very first day here! I laughed when I saw how easily you bent under the pressure of embarrassment. But I knew that you would be special, and once you had been informed of the system, I knew you would be a very interesting study.

 

            “Normally, when a boy fights our system for a long time, he eventually either gives in or decides he has learned his lesson. I study our tapes of the boy’s activities, and if I feel he is suitable, I give him the chance to redeem himself. As you have been informed, in order to be given release from our program…”

 

            “Mr. Rhines, you can’t tell him that!” Mrs. Walker said.

 

            “My dear Mrs. Walker, he already knows. As I was saying, to be released from our program, a boy must admit to his parents that he is in fact a baby, continue to be treated as one for a month, and then gain a proper position in society. If he fails to perform any of these steps successfully, he is re-enrolled in the program and does not get another chance to leave.

 

            “In your case, this option was impossible. From day one your parents told me that they did not even want to see you again until you were a complete baby. This made my study of you that much more interesting. So I continued to watch you.

 

            “But now, after you have fought our system for three years, there has been an unexpected detour.”

 

            “That’s right,” said a voice behind me. As I turned my head to look, I saw the most beautiful sight that I had ever seen. There was Tammy right behind me to my right, standing behind a desk.

 

            I couldn’t believe my eyes; there she was, decked out in legal attire with her hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing glasses.

 

            “Yes, I am here to vouch for Mr. Luke Cody Stephens’ release from this program.”

 

            There was a murmur of laughter from everyone in the room, including the people behind me in the rows and those in front of me.

 

            “Well look who it is,” said Hale. “The good ol’ bimbo Tammy Reynolds.”

 

            “Poor wretch probably couldn’t get another job after she left our program,” said Mrs. Pepperdine.

 

            “That’s enough,” said Rhines. “Now, for those of you who do not know, Mrs. Reynolds was once employed as a nanny in this very program. She had been working for us for a brief period of time before Mr. Stephens arrived here. However, she felt the need to alert Mr. Stephens about certain aspects of our program as well as potential ways of escaping it, in addition to other acts that she was not authorized to do. Once again, I blame our nannies for not detecting her ulterior motives from the very beginning. Even I did not see her for who she was until she had already attempted to liberate some of our other subjects from the program.”

 

            “You mean to tell me SHE is one of the ‘infiltrators’ who is part of the reason why this boy fought the decoding process?!” asked Rolivio.

 

            “Yes,” Rhines said. As he said this, many of the people on the board in front of me murmured in outrage.

 

            “Quiet,” boomed Rhines. “Yes, Ms. Reynolds succeeded in notifying many of our subjects about our system and the possibilities of leaving. She is well trained in legal expertise and has worked diligently to fight for the boys’ freedom. But you have always come up short, haven’t you Ms. Reynolds? You could never outwit one such as I, you did not have the intelligence or the power. Because you see, I was aware of your motives from almost the beginning, and you did not have the slightest clue. I was even aware of that stunt you pulled the day Mr. Stephens went through the fourth level of punishment. I had you followed and was aware of everything you told him in the park that day.”

 

            Tammy looked shocked and nervous to hear that, but she kept her composure. I sure was glad she did, because now I knew what was going on, and all of my hopes of escaping were now riding on Tammy’s shoulders.

 

            Rhines continued. “Due to Ms. Reynolds’ interference, Mr. Stephens had hopes of leaving our program, and these hopes helped him fight his decoding for even longer.”

 

            “So you mean to tell me that the only reason this little boy was able to stop the decoding was because of this silly little blonde?” Mitwick asked.

 

            “No,” Rhines continued. “He would have never even met her if he was left on his own. No, Mr. Stephens had help from another source. Another troubled youth enrolled in our system, one John Wyatt.”

 

            There was definitely a small uproar on the board as Rhines said this. “What?! Baby Johnny?!” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “The very same,” said Rhines. “Mr. Wyatt was one of the experimental group. He outlasted them all, making it seven years without giving in. Finally, he was clever enough to resort to tricking our imbecile nannies. I was well aware of this, and continued to allow it. I was so proud of Johnny; he was a boy with some strength in him. No matter what was thrown at him, he managed to fight it off. Loss of friends…extreme humiliation…complete loss of hope…but he did not quit. No, Johnny was the most resilient of them all.

 

            “I was most interested in Johnny. I was curious to see what was different about him, and how he succeeded where all others failed. I was also determined to make him give in; I was the creator, he was the experiment. I tried as many different methods to get him to break…I knew I was more clever and powerful than he was, and I knew I could do it…

 

            “But Johnny never gave in. I was proud of him. He even managed to fool our highly trained nannies…”

 

            As I listened to Rhines drone on about Johnny, an immense anger overtook me. I no longer felt nervous or scared. This jackass, Rhines, was talking about Johnny as if he were some lab rat. I had heard all of Johnny’s tales, I listened to the horror stories and immense pain and humiliation that he has suffered. But this was just a game to Rhines, playing with Johnny like a puppeteer does with a marionette.

 

            I couldn’t take it anymore, so I yelled out and interrupted Rhines’ speech. “But you couldn’t do it!” I screamed, shocking everybody. “You failed! Johnny was too smart for you! He made it all the way through! He managed to fight your system until you were forced to let him move on to the next stage!”

 

            “Shut up, you insolent boy!” yelled Mitwick. “Unless you want your sorry behind back in baby clothes and a crib you will shut your mouth right now!”

 

            But Rhines was just chuckling deeply, a sound that once again drove fear into my heart. “Foolish, boy,” he said calmly. “You don’t get it, do you? I knew what Johnny was doing! I even knew about his escape plan. I was proud of the boy. He had devised a clever plan and strategy and implemented it to success.”

 

            Once again this was shocking news to the board. “Wait,” said Hale. “Mr. Rhines, you knew about Johnny’s escape plan? None of us suspected a thing, and that’s why he was able to slip through our fingers once we took his collar off!”

 

            “Of course I knew about it,” Rhines said. “I knew everything about Johnny.”

 

            “Then why didn’t you tell us?” asked McPherson. “Why did you let him escape?”

 

            “Because it did not matter, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. “What was Johnny to me? He was just one of my original guinea pigs. At the beginning, I did not know how make sure our system would work. I needed a group of boys to test it on. And that’s what Johnny and his little friends were. Once I used them to perfect my system, they had served their purpose. What was it to me that Johnny left? He had learned his lesson and had enough willpower to get out. Besides, I knew he wouldn’t make it in the real world, so it mattered not.”

 

            So Johnny had escaped. But that had been a long time ago. Almost three years ago…

 

            “So you just used him!” I yelled. “You never did care about him! All you wanted was to use him to perfect your system so you could make money off of these kids! You didn’t care what kinds of torture you put us through! You didn’t even care that you used Johnny, your most prized kid, and then threw him away like a lump of coal!”

 

            “SHUT UP!” yelled McPherson.

 

            “Calm yourself, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. He then let out another low chuckle, and for the first time I saw his face. To my surprise, for some reason he was wearing a dark, black mask. Maybe he had been burned or something, but it made him that much scarier.

 

            “You still do not understand, Mr. Stephens,” he said. “I will not deny that I used Johnny. It matters not to me that one suffers in order for the group to benefit. You see, Mr. Stephens, my program benefits society in unimaginable ways. What is it to me if I have to sacrifice one boy in order to benefit society in these ways?

 

            “But what you really don’t understand is how naïve your perception of Johnny is. You view him almost as a hero who suffered indefinitely and valiantly escaped right under the noses of the ones persecuting him. But in fact, Mr. Stephens, Johnny is just like me. He used all of his friends. He was secretly happy when they became decoded. He caused them to stumble. He would convince them to be decoded and turned into babies. He would comfort them only so that he could convince them they wanted to be babies. Maybe a few of them were his friends, but he only kept them around to keep from being decoded. And you! You probably think he cared about you as well! My boy, he only told you about the whole process to keep himself from being decoded. He told you lies so that you would trust him, but he only wanted to keep you close enough so that he could have human contact. And what happened when he escaped almost three years ago? He turned and fled, leaving you here to become a baby again! Johnny was not some honorable hero; he was a boy who was clever enough to save his own skin before anyone else’s.”

 

            I couldn’t believe it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Rhines was right; Johnny had used me.

 

            “So,” Rhines continued. “With that out of the way, let us hear what Ms. Reynolds has to say about what happens to you now, Mr. Stephens.”

 

            Tammy got herself together and then began to speak. “As I mentioned before, I am here to request the release of Luke Cody Stephens from this program. As you are all aware, it is legally allowed for a youth to exit the program if he is not decoded. He must be willing to admit that he truly is a baby and that he completely deserved every bit of treatment he received. He then must spend a month being treated as a baby by his family for a full month, and then he must re-enroll in school or become employed.

 

            “As you have seen, it is clear that Mr. Stephens does not have the mind of a baby, and he is fully capable of going back into society with his current mind. He is also prepared to admit that his treatment has been just and that he truly is a baby.”

 

            I could hear the growls of the people across the board as they heard this news. It was obvious they did not want me to exit the program.

 

            But it was Rhines who spoke. “You speak the truth, Ms. Reynolds. Mr. Stephens is not decoded. However, I have my doubts as to whether he truly believes his punishment has been just. In fact, I have many tapes of Mr. Stephens recently claiming that his treatment is unfair.

 

            “However, I am not an unfair man. I will allow Mr. Stephens to present his case in front of his old friends, teachers, and parents. If he can do so correctly, we will proceed to further processes. Gentlemen, if you will.”

 

            The two guard guys came over to me, picked up my chair, and spun me around so that I was facing the audience. I saw a large group of faces all around me, and once again I became nervous.

 

            “Well, Mr. Stephens, what have you got to say for yourself?” Rhines asked.

 

            This was it; this was my chance. Finally, after all of these years, I was going to get the chance to end this torture. It was simple really; I just had to lie and tell these people that I was a baby and deserved everything I got.

 

            But as I opened my mouth and began to speak, my throat went dry. I tried to make a sound, but nothing came out. I didn’t understand it; it was so simple, why couldn’t I do it.

 

            I looked out and saw a bunch of my friends. Some had their head hung low, not wanting to see me like this. Others looked at me like I was a little wussy. Others just scowled.

 

            My parents and teachers all had large grins on their faces. This is what they wanted to hear; they wanted to hear out of my own mouth that I was nothing but a little baby who needed “grown-ups” to tell me what to do.

            

            As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Looking into their faces, I couldn’t tell the lie. I know it sounds stupid, but at that moment I felt like I would rather be forced to be a baby again than to admit that Rhines and his fucked up system were right and that just like my parents had thought, I was just a little baby.

 

            After about a minute of silence, I could hear the board laughing behind me. The guards picked my chair back up and turned me around. I hung my head low; I had lost my only chance.

 

            Rhines let out a deep laugh and with a very smug look, said, “It is as I suspected. Mr. Stephens is not ready to leave our program yet. He has not truly embraced his role in society and his overall selfishness and immaturity. I think he needs more baby treatment before he is ready to make that step. And besides, everybody knows ‘Baby Cody’ is still in love with his precious teddy bear, Timmy!”

 

            The whole room burst into laughter as Rhines let out another deep chuckle. I couldn’t believe it; Rhines knew I couldn’t admit it! And now he had won; all the work Tammy did was for nothing, and I had blown the only ticket out of here that I had. Feeling like my life was over, I felt tears run down my face as I heard Rhines say,

 

            “Ok, gentlemen, I do believe this hearing is over.”

 

            “Not so fast, Rhines my friend,” I heard a very familiar, sarcastic voice say. “I don’t think I’ve had my say in this yet.”

 

            I couldn’t believe my ears. Could it be? Jerking my head around, I managed to get a view of the still open double doors in the back of the courtroom. And there he was, in a snappy business suit, with a video tape in one hand and a briefcase in the other, with a devious grin across his face…the one, the only, Baby Johnny.

 

            As Johnny walked down the aisle, I heard audible gasps from everyone on the board. “What are YOU doing here?” asked Hale.

 

            “You filthy little gremlin!” yelled McPherson.

 

            “The pleasure’s all mine, McPherson old buddy,” said Johnny. “Hey, nice suit there. Quite kinky for all your various dominatrix lovers, I’m sure, but if you’ll excuse Mr. Rhines and I, the grown-ups have to talk.”

 

            McPherson looked furious at his remark, but Rhines forced him to be quiet. “Ah, the infamous Johnny. Looks like the coward finally makes an appearance.”

 

            “You’ve grown, soft, Rhines,” Johnny said. “You used to be able to map out all of my moves. I would have thought for sure you’d be expecting me today. You disappoint me.”

 

            “Well, now that you are here, I must ask why?” Rhines said.

 

            “Well, I do believe I have a very interesting piece of evidence right here,” Johnny said.

 

            “And you know as well as I do that all evidence must be presented in this hearing before it can over,” Tammy added.

 

            “So if you please,” Johnny said. “I have a tape to show you all.”

 

            Johnny handed the tape to the woman who spoke at the beginning. I could hear angry murmurs coming from everyone in the room, but Rhines kept his composure. Once the tape was ready to play, it began playing for all to see.

 

            I couldn’t believe my eyes; there I was, decked out in a footed sleeper in one of the nurseries, and I was talking. I watched myself speak, the camera lens focused on me:

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s the thing,” I watched my taped self saying. “You were right yesterday. You were exactly right. I’m…I’m just a baby. I’m a spoiled, pampered (literally) little brat who only thinks about himself. If I ever get out of here, I’ll change my ways. I’ll do things right. I’d grow up and stop being a baby. But until then, I should be treated like what I am…a little baby.”

 

            On the tape, we heard Johnny’s voice saying, “Kid, no, really, you’re not a baby, I was wrong in saying that…”

 

            “No, Johnny,” I said firmly on the tape. “I was a horrible little punk. You were right, I’m lucky to be here. I don’t deserve the love and care that they give me. Everyone else hated me, and rightly so since I didn’t act like I was fourteen, I acted like I was one.”

 

            Johnny then stopped the tape. I saw scowls cross the faces of the board, and Rolivio screamed out, “Where did you get this tape?! If you stole it I will have you arrested for larceny!”

 

            “Rolivio, buddy, I think you’ve got your dreads tied a little too tight,” Johnny said sarcastically. “There’s no proof to say that this tape does not belong solely to me.”

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “And you know as well as I do, Mr. Rhines, that it makes no difference where the evidence comes from. In addition, it does not matter when Cody said this; it only matters that he did indeed say it.”

            

            “But he must admit he is a baby in front his friends, teachers, and parents!” screeched Mrs. Pepperdine.

 

            “My dear Pepperdine, do use your head,” Johnny remarked. “It is written that the defendant’s friends, parents and teachers must only here this admission. It is written nowhere that it must be done in person. So if we may, I’d like to move on here, Rhines.”

 

            There were more angry murmurs from the board, but Rhine managed to quiet them down. “He is right,” Rhines said.

 

            “But Mr. Rhines…” Mrs. Walker began.

 

            “HE IS RIGHT!” boomed Rhines. “This part of the matter is settled. Mr. Stephens has met this criteria; he has admitted he is a baby.

 

            “However,” he continued. “My dear Johnny, I regret to inform you that this is not enough. You know as well as I do that in order for Mr. Stephens to exit the program, he must continue to be treated like a baby by his family for a month. And we have all heard many times that Mr. Stephens’ parents strongly refuse to have anything to do with him until he has been decoded. So I see no possible way for Mr. Stephens to exit our program at this point.” He spoke very matter-of-factly.

 

            For a minute there was silence. I felt my heart drop to my stomach. For a few brief minutes I thought I had won; Johnny had come in and saved the day, given me proof enough to get out of here. But what good was it if my parents wouldn’t baby me for a month? It had all been in vain; I was doomed to be decoded.

 

            But when it looked like all was lost, Tammy spoke. “I think you may want to read the writing a little bit more carefully, Mr. Rhines.”

 

            “What are you talking about, you little tramp?” Mrs. Walker asked.

 

            “Whoa, calm down there Walker,” Johnny said. “I know that a very old woman such as yourself must feel extreme grief that no man ever loved you enough to bear children, which is of course why you love seeing teenagers babied, but that’s no reason to take it out on Tammy here…”

 

            “Shut up, you insolent little thug!” yelled Mitwick.

 

            “Whoa, don’t have a heart attack there, pops,” Johnny responded. “What are you now, ninety? I bet Cody’s not the only one in here who’s wearing diapers again, is he?” he added with a smirk.

 

            “SILENCE!” Rhines yelled out. “What are you talking about Ms. Reynolds?”

 

            “Well, Mr. Rhines,” Tammy said. “The paperwork only says that ‘a’ family must take in Cody and baby him for a month, not necessarily his original family. That’s what we call a ‘legal loophole’.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” Hale asked.

 

            “Well duuuhhhh,” Johnny said. “I know how you made it through the seventh grade, Hale. Mommy and daddy paid off those teachers, right? And it STILL took you three years! Think about it, man. Tammy’s talking about herself.”

 

            “That is correct,” Tammy said. “I am proposing that I be Cody’s new mother. I am well trained in his baby needs, and I have a steady enough income to make sure he is raised correctly. Of course I will adhere to the policy in all ways.”

 

            There was more angry murmuring. Then Mrs. Friedman yelled, “You silly little girl, you know that the law says TWO parents constitute a family. So no matter how qualified you are, you are not enough to take care of Cody on your own…”

 

            “Whoa, don’t hurt yourself there, Friedman,” Johnny responded. “You see, my curly-fry haired friend, that’s where I come in. I myself am also qualified in taking care of Cody’s baby needs. And I have here in my briefcase my paperwork, certifying that I am an employed responsible adult. There are also papers proving that we have payments down on a house, and we are both fully prepared to take care of Cody.”

 

            Now it was Rhines’ turn to get angry. “Preposterous!” he yelled. “Mrs. Bines, investigate this supposed paperwork.”

 

            The woman whose voice I had heard on the tape at punishment level five took the briefcase from Johnny. After sorting through the papers for a few minutes, she said to Rhines, “Sir, all of the paperwork checks out. These two adults are both fully qualified to be Luke Cody Stephens’ new family, and it is perfectly legal.”

 

            It sounded as if an explosion had gone off on the board. Everyone was yelling, and even Rhines growled and banged his fist in anger.

 

            “Impossible!” he yelled. “No, there must be some reason why these two…cretins are not allowed to take care of this little piece of filth!” He had totally lost his cool.

 

            “I’m sure you will see, Mr. Rhines, that there is no legal reason why we cannot take Cody in. And if you have a problem with that, I can notify the government officials responsible for keeping this program running, and if they hear about you denying Cody from us, you can be sure that this program will be immediately shut down with all of the boys’ parents getting full refunds.”

 

            Even behind his mask I can tell Rhines’ was irate. As Mrs. Bines nodded in nervous agreement with Tammy’s statement, Tammy added, “Of course, Cody’s collar will stay on him until the first month has passed and he is done with baby treatment. And I also believe that the program is responsible in supplying both myself, Mr. Wyatt and Cody with free baby supplies and furniture until Cody is ready to move past his initial baby treatment…”

 

            As Mrs. Bines confirmed this, Rhines exploded in anger. “FINE!” he yelled. “But mark my words: if I here that Cody is not babied for a full month or that he is unable to stay in school or get a job afterwards, I will PERSONALLY ensure that he will come right back into our program IMMEDIATELY!”

 

            “Can I get that in writing?” Johnny asked with a smirk. “You know, you should layoff the donuts, Rhines ol’ man. I’m sure your blood pressure and cholesterol are already off the charts, and you don’t want all of this stress, too…”

 

            “GET OUT!” Rhines yelled. “Out of my sight! Guards! Get this nasty little thing and his two idiot caregivers out of here this instant.”

 

            “Allow me,” Tammy said. She ran over to me, and after the guards undid my chains, Tammy then picked me up and held me in her arms, just like a baby (which was kinda weird considering I was still in a suit).

 

            As she was doing so, Johnny said with that same sarcastic tone, “Ah, Rhines old buddy, you never did give us enough credit. I have to admit, you were quite genius to develop this program and you did always know how to stack the deck in your favor. But you should know, ol’ Johnny always has an ace up his sleeve. So to you and all of your wonderful creators, I say, ‘Have a Nice Day’”

 

            “GET OUT!” boomed Rhines.

 

            With that, Tammy carried me down the aisle in her arms. Johnny caught up with us, and Tammy shifted me so that she was carrying my legs and he was supporting my shoulders.

 

            It was like some crazy dream. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t know if I could take much more of this. It was all impossible. Was I really getting out of here? Was I really going to live with Tammy and Johnny? It had to be a dream. I pinched myself, expecting to wake up and find myself back in my crib. But to my immense relief, all I felt was a small pain in my cheek.

 

            “Well, Cody,” Tammy said. “It looks like we’re finally going home. Isn’t that right, honey?” she asked Johnny.

 

            ‘HONEY?!’ I asked myself.

 

            “That’s right,” Johnny said. “It took us thirteen years to do it, but we’re finally on the right track. Now let’s go home.”

 

            With that, he leaned over, and Tammy and Johnny locked lips and deeply kissed each other while still holding me. That was about all I could take; I just fainted in their arms as they walked through those double doors and down the hall.

 

Part 15

 

            When I woke up, I was in a house. My mind still felt kinda fuzzy, and it took me a few minutes to remember everything that happened before I fainted. For a second I thought that it had all been a dream, but when I saw that I was no longer at the center for the program, my heart leapt; I really was free, Johnny and Tammy were really going to take care of me.

 

            I was lying on a couch; I guess they hadn’t had any other place to put me down for the moment. I was in a living room; it looked pretty ordinary, with a coffee table, a few easy chairs, some lamps, some paintings, a TV, even a fish tank. Not an extremely nice living room or house, but a decent one.

 

            But what the hell had happened? How had they done all of this? How did they even know each other? My head was spinning with questions. Thankfully, after I lay there for a few minutes, Tammy walked in. Realizing that I was awake, Tammy smiled and said, “Johnny, he’s awake!”

 

            As she walked over to me, I heard footsteps signaling that Johnny was coming, too. Tammy smiled at me and gave me a big hug; I was pretty bewildered, but I can’t deny that it made me feel good. “How are you doing?” she asked.

 

            “Uh, I’m okay, I guess,” I said, still feeling pretty groggy. It felt really weird for someone to talk to me NORMALLY…not referring to me as a baby or a piece of filth. In fact, it was one of the first times in my whole life that someone other than my friends treated me nicely.

 

            Besides, I had been feeling like I had been going crazy for a long time now, so I was still recovering from the fact that my world had been turned upside down in a matter of hours.

 

            Johnny walked in the room wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. It was really weird seeing him. He gave a small smile and said, “So how you hangin’ in there, kid?”

 

            Leave it to Johnny to be calm and sarcastic in any give situation, and he still resorted to calling me “kid”.

 

            “I’m alright,” I muttered. But even though I was feeling kinda funny, this wasn’t exactly a true statement; I was much better than all right. I felt happier than I had been in a very long time.

 

            As Johnny sat down in one of the chairs, Tammy said, “Oh, you must be starving! Let me get you something!” Before I could say anything else, she rushed out of the room.

 

            “Well,” Johnny began. “I don’t know about you kid, but I’ll completely worn out. What with doin’ your trial thing and movin’ in all your stuff and…”

 

            “My stuff?” I asked.

 

            “Yeah, your crib and changing table and…”

 

            “When did that get here?” Looking out the window, I realized the sun was setting. “How long have I been out?”

 

            “Oh, just for the day. I guess about seven or eight hours,” Johnny responded. “Anyway, some guys from the program came over and we moved in all your stuff. We just finished. I’ll let you see it after you’ve had a little bit to eat.”

 

            At that moment, Tammy walked in carrying a plate with a sandwich on it. As she set it down on the table that was right in front of me, I could tell that it was peanut butter and jelly.

 

            “I know,” she said. “Peanut butter and jelly isn’t much, but it’s all I have right now. We didn’t know for sure that you’d be coming here, and I didn’t have a whole lot…but I’ll go to the store tomorrow and…”

 

            “But wait,” I said. “I thought you had to treat me like a baby.”

 

            “Well, we do,” she responded. “But they gave us a set of rules, and they’re not quite as strict as the ones imposed within the program itself. They have some people they’ll be sending over here to check on us for hours at a time, just to make sure we’re not cheating.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “You see, in the program, they’re trying to decode kids, so they have to follow very strict rules in order for the process to work. And besides, they’re just asses. Rhines can say all he wants how he just does this for scientific reasons, but you can bet the other creators and nannies get a joy out of humiliating and torturing the kids there. Why else would they apply for jobs there? Anyways, go ahead, eat up.”

 

            I sat up on the couch and picked up the sandwich. It looked so good; it had been three years since I had had anything but milk and that baby food slop, so a good ol’ PB and J was mouth-watering.

 

            Unfortunately, I had a hard time eating. It was really difficult to bite and chew; I had gotten so used to being spoon fed. I was kind of embarrassed when Tammy had to help me some, but I couldn’t deny it; the sandwich was so good, and I didn’t care that much if I needed a little help.

 

            As I ate, I asked, “So what exactly is gonna happen over the next month?”

 

            “Well,” Johnny began. “We still have to baby you, but like I said, it’s not gonna be as bad as it was in the program. They just want to make sure you don’t forget your position in life, or something like that. Basically, you have to sleep in a crib, suck a pacifier for a certain amount of time during the day, play with baby toys for a given amount of time, and carry a teddy bear and/or blanket with you at all times. You have to wear baby clothes and of course diapers; but since you’re still incontinent, you’d be kept in those anyway. And for the first few weeks you have to drink a bottle.”

 

            “Oh, that reminds me!” Tammy said. She then got up and left.

 

            Johnny continued. “But other than that, there aren’t many rules. You can talk normally, watch TV, read books or newspapers, go outside and play…just about anything. You’ll probably want to stay here though…if you go out in public, you still have to wear your baby clothes and be pushed around in a stroller. But we don’t have to do that.”

 

            Tammy then returned carrying a baby bottle, but it wasn’t filled with milk. Instead, it has orange juice in it.

 

            “Again, it’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got right now,” she said, setting the bottle down on the table.

 

            It looked so good that I instantly grabbed the bottle and put the nipple in my mouth. Even though I sucked nothing came out. I rolled onto my back and began to squeeze it and suck it; still only a few drops came out. I realized why; my hand had already gotten extremely tired.

 

            Tammy and Johnny laughed a little at first; I guess it did look kind of funny. But after about a minute I got frustrated, sat up and put the bottle back on the table, looking discouraged.

 

            “I’m sorry, Cody,” Tammy said, stifling her laughter. “It’s just that you just looked extremely cute. But unfortunately, a lot of your muscles are still weak.”

 

            Before I could stop myself, I found myself asking, “Well, uh, could you, uh…”

 

            Tammy just smiled and said, “Of course.”

 

            As she came over to the couch and sat down, I asked Johnny, “So what happens after the first month?”

 

            Tammy took the bottle and told me to put my head on her lap. As I did, she put the bottle in my mouth and I found it extremely easy to drink; it was just so much more natural since I had been doing it for three years. But the juice tasted so good; I found it a little difficult to pay attention to Johnny because of that, since he was talking while I drank.

 

            “Well,” he said. “As you’ve seen, your body isn’t exactly what it used to be. You see, normally when a kid gets out of the system like you have, he’s only been in there a few weeks, so his muscles are still pretty strong. In your case, it’s different. Don’t worry about your mind; you may feel a little funny right now, but we’re not going to be talking to you like you’re a baby. In no time you’ll feel just like your old self mentally.

 

            “After the first month, we’ll let you sleep in a bed, eat and drink normally, not force you to play with baby toys, and take you out of baby clothes. You’ll still have to wear diapers since you’ll still be incontinent, and you’ll be very attached to your pacifier and bear or blanket, still.

 

            “However, physically, it’s going to be pretty hard. Expect to get very frustrated. Even though we’ll be treating you as normally as possible during the first month, you still will be pretty limited physically. For the first month we can’t really do much about that; you can only crawl and a lot of simple things will be hard to do.

 

            “After the first month, though, that’s the first thing we’ll have to work on. The program will be sending a few physical therapists over here. Not only will you learn how to walk again, but a lot of your other physical functions will have to be worked on. Once your collar is off, though, it won’t be all that bad. It will take a few months, but eventually your body will be back to normal. We’ll also limit your sleeping hours and get them back to about eight a day, and completely drive your natural instinct to cry out of you. In addition, we’ll potty-train you and get you off of your pacifier…yeah, like I said, your body’s gotten so used to it that you won’t be able to sleep without one at first, and during the day you’ll find it’ll calm you down. So we’ll work to change that. However, it’ll be up to you when you stop carrying around your bear or blanket; but you’ll find that eventually you’ll get tired of it, that’s the way it worked for me, anyway.

 

            “Again, be prepared to get frustrated and discouraged; it’s not going to be easy to get back to normal. However, that’s just something you’ll have to deal with. But we’ll be there helping you the whole way.

 

            “And that brings me to the next thing, Cody. Both Tammy and I are very attached to you, but remember, we will more or less be your parents until you are ready to get out on your own. That means we’ll be there for you and help you along the way, but it also means that you have to listen to us and obey us. We will be in charge and will discipline you if necessary. If you start to go back to the way you were before you came to the program, after some initial warnings and discipline, they will have no choice to put you back in the program. Not only is this an official, legal, thing, both Tammy and I agree with it; although you’re out of the program, we do not want to be responsible for a kid who acts just like you used to.”

 

            As he finished saying this, I was already done with the bottle; like the sandwich, it had been extremely good. I began to ponder what Johnny told me, and even though I wasn’t crazy about everything, it sounded like a really good deal. All of this still seemed too good to be true.

 

            “So then what?” I asked as I sat up.

 

            “Well,” Tammy said. “Then it’ll be up to you. You can either get a job, since you’re of legal age to work. Or you can further your education; don’t worry, you won’t have to go back to public school. Either Johnny or myself will home school you. We’ll be doing some of that anyway; the program says you need to go back over a lot of things you learned in grade school and middle school. But after that, we only have to do enough to either get you ready for a job or get your diploma. But all of that will be worked out later. You should think about it a little bit, but don’t worry about it too much for now.”

 

            Everyone was quiet for a little bit. It was still a whole lot to take in, and my head was still bursting with questions.

 

            “But how are you guys paying for all of this?” I asked. “What are you doing now? How did you get me out of the program? In fact…how do you two even know each other, much less live with each other and KISS each other?”

 

            “Whoa, kid, slow down,” Johnny said. “That’s a lot you’re asking. And it’s probably too much for you to take in right now. We’ll tell you all about everything over the next month…”

 

            “NO!” I said. “Tell me right now!”

 

            “No, kid, I’ll tell you when I think you’re ready.”

 

            “JOHNNY!” I said. “Remember what happened last time you said that?!”

 

            Johnny’s face fell a little bit. Then after a few seconds, he said, “You’re right, kid. We do owe you a big explanation, especially since we haven’t been 100% truthful to you so far. But it’s getting pretty dark, and I know that you’re going to be getting pretty tired soon. However, as long as you can stay awake, we’ll tell you everything.”

 

            He took a deep breath and said, “Hmm…where should we start?”

 

            “How about telling Cody how we met?” Tammy asked.

 

            “Ok, then,” Johnny said. “Well, it has actually twenty years or so since Tammy and I met. It doesn’t matter exactly how it happened, you just need to know that we met in grade school and became good friends.”

 

            “TWENTY YEARS?” I asked.

 

            “Yeah, twenty years,” Johnny said. “But don’t interrupt me, kid. It’ll be easier if you just listen.”

 

            Trying to keep my mouth shut, I listened as Johnny continued.

 

            “Like I told you a while ago, kid, I was a pretty horrible kid. I did badly in school, got drunk, and did drugs. And the main bad thing I did was fight; like I told you, kid, I used to get in fights all of the time. My parents didn’t like what I was doing at all, but they never stopped me…too spineless, I guess. Or maybe they just didn’t care enough; I don’t think they ever truly loved me. But I didn’t care; I had my friends, and they were all just like me. Besides, I had a girlfriend that I loved; Tammy.”

 

            “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense at all,” I said. “Tammy was Ricky’s boyfriend.”

 

            Tammy laughed upon hearing this. “What, that kid? The only time I’ve ever seen Ricky is since he’s been acting like a baby.”

 

            I thought they must have been playing a joke on me or something. But then Johnny started to explain.

 

            “What did I say about interrupting me? Anyway, no, kid, you’ve got it all wrong…Tammy didn’t even know Ricky. Well, except as a baby. While I was in the program, she only knew him as another kid that she had to take care of. It wasn’t until I got out that I explained everything to her.

 

            “But you when I told you they must have been girlfriend and boyfriend, you agreed!” I said, forgetting I wasn’t supposed to interrupt.

 

            “Well, I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t ever really say you were right, so technically I didn’t lie to you, I just let you assume it. Anyway, I’ll get to that later.”

 

            “You see,” Tammy said. “When I told you about my boyfriend, Cody, I was talking about Johnny, I just didn’t tell you it was him. I was aware that you knew him and what he had told you. Johnny and I were still able to keep contact with each other in the program.”

 

            “But that’s getting ahead a bit,” said Johnny. “Anyway, so me and Tammy were both bad kids and were going out, that’s the gist of it. But when my parents decided to put me in the program, everything changed.

 

            “I already told you my side of the story, and Tammy’s told me she told you how she worked to get involved in the program. She was talking about me when she told you about her boyfriend, and I was talking about her when I talked about my girlfriend. I would have told her and my friends about it when I was shipped off to the program, but I never got the chance…my parents told me that if I told them where I was going, they’d figure out a way to get my friends in jail.”

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “And while I was getting information out of John’s parents, he was suffering through the program.”

 

            “I had of course lost all hope of her ever contacting me,” Johnny said. “I underestimated her…uh…persuasive skills.”

 

            “Anyway,” Tammy continued. “It was about seven years before I saw John again. I loved him so much that I wouldn’t give up my quest to find out where he had gone. Finally, like I told you, his parents contacted me and I was forced to see him in a huge stroller surrounded by his friends and parents who all laughed at him.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “When I told you that Ricky had to go through the punishment, you assumed that Tammy had been talking about him when she told you about the encounter. But remember, kid, I told you I had to go through it too, and in reality, she was talking about me. As far as my parents, they showed their true colors; I don’t think they really cared how embarrassed I was, just that I wasn’t doing ‘bad’ stuff anymore. Besides, they loved to torture Tammy. And my friends? Like Tammy said, I guess it had just been too long… seven years is a long time.

 

            “It almost killed me when it happened. I was so relieved to see that Tammy was still on my side, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was strapped in a stroller and my pacifier kept me from talking. Besides, she was quickly escorted out soon.”

 

            “Like I said,” Tammy began. “This gave me a completely new desire to get John out. So in a matter of months I became qualified to be a nanny, passed the test, and entered the program.”

 

            “As for me,” Johnny said. “Seeing Tammy also gave me a new energy as well. I told you that I managed to fight the system and trick the nannies on my own because I was inspired by Ricky and knew how to fight the system by talking to people. But what I didn’t tell you was that if I hadn’t seen how much Tammy still cared for me, I probably wouldn’t have made it. Funny, when you think about it; their punishment for me that was intended to humiliate me backfired because when I saw Tammy I had an even stronger desire to fight the system.

 

            “I still wasn’t sure if she would be able to do anything, though. So I fought the system on my own for a while and tried to act like she would never come, because if she didn’t make it, I still wanted to be able to trick the nannies and get out on my own. Who knows, maybe I still would have succeeded. But I still was extremely inspired by Tammy.

 

            “You can’t imagine my pure joy when I first saw her in the program. I knew that it was a possibility that she would break though, but I had convinced myself that she would fail. I had already managed to fool the nannies into thinking I had been decoded, so I was acting like a baby.”

 

            “Don’t you remember?” Tammy asked me. “I told you when I saw my boyfriend again, he had already been decoded and that I was heartbroken. Well, technically that was true; when I first saw John, he acted like a complete baby, and I thought he was one.”

 

            “That was probably the hardest, most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to do,” Johnny said. “When I first saw Tammy, I wanted nothing more than to run (or crawl) over to her and tell her everything that had happened, or at least show her that I was happy to see her.”

 

            “So why didn’t you?” I asked.

 

            “Think about it, kid,” Johnny said. “Remember, the nannies thought I had been decoded, so I would have completely blown my cover and all the work I had done for months to fool them would have been for nothing. Besides, even if I hadn’t been able to fool them so long, they would have immediately fired Tammy if they realized that we knew each other. Anyway, it was extremely difficult for me sitting there and acting like a baby while I could tell she was heartbroken. And it was hell for a few weeks since I didn’t see her much at all, and I was afraid that she would give up and leave the program.”

 

            “And I almost did,” Tammy said. “Good thing I didn’t. And good thing I didn’t faint when I finally realized John hadn’t been decoded, because I almost did. When I was putting him in his crib one night, he winked at me. When I looked at him funny, he did it again. Over the next few days, I got a chance to sneak him into a room without cameras and we were able to speak to each other, even if it was only for a few minutes.”

 

            “It was very difficult to communicate at first,” Johnny said. “But we were persistent, and after we got through all of our heartfelt greetings and all that, we began to talk about how to get me out of here without Tammy getting fired and me blowing my cover.

 

            “The two of us made a great team. I had gathered tons of information from the nannies’ casual conversations, and Tammy poked around and asked the other nannies and the creators all kinds of questions. Finally, we began to strategize, and I knew how to start off; the cameras.”

 

            “You see, Cody,” Tammy said. “It was extremely frustrating not being able to talk with John casually, plus I didn’t get many chances to talk to him at all. So I started to volunteer for more jobs involving the cameras. I became extremely trustworthy, and eventually they put me in charge of them quite often. I even managed to convince them to turn them off more often; the need for them was small since bad situations rarely happened and it cost money to run them.

 

            “Eventually they put me in charge of the camera schedule, and even though Johnny had a pretty firm grasp on them anyways, I helped him out further. Soon we were able to have casual talks in the evenings in the crib rooms since the cameras were off. If another nanny walked in, he would just pretend to be asleep and I’d just act like I was reading or something.

            

            “It was great; being in charge of the schedule made things so much easier. By the way, that’s how I was able to go get you after you went through punishment level 4. Remember how I told you that I let the kids out into the hall? Well, it never would have worked had I not turned off the cameras when I let them free.

 

            “Anyway, even with this new power, we still needed to figure out a way to get John out of here. We couldn’t just turn off the cameras and make a break for it; he still had his collar on. It seemed best just to stick with his original plan; we’d wait until it was time for him to move on, and as soon as they took his collar off, he’d make a break for it. It was pretty easy to make sure he didn’t get decoded until then; I talked to him quite often, which was plenty of human interaction.”

 

            “My escape plan would be even better now,” Johnny said. “Now I had Tammy on my side. So when it came time for them to remove my collar, she would turn off the cameras. That way, the only people who knew I was escaping were the ones who took off my collar. In addition, Tammy would race in and help me subdue everyone who was there. Together, we would both have a clear runway to my freedom.”

 

            “Turns out the plan worked flawlessly,” Tammy said. “Smoother than I could have imagined. But, something had complicated the situation.”

 

            “What?” I asked.

 

            “You,” Johnny said.

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “We knew we couldn’t just leave you there.”

 

            “You see,” Johnny said. “Tammy and I were pretty confident about our plan. We were a perfect team, and there was never any hint that anyone knew what was going on…”

 

            “Except for Rhines,” I interrupted.

 

            To my surprise, Johnny then let out a laugh. “Ha ha…I had forgotten about old Rhines. Yeah, he knew about our plans. But it wasn’t a big deal.”

 

            “What?” I asked. “Why not?”

 

            “Because he told me that he didn’t care if I escaped.”

 

            “You KNEW about Rhines?”

 

            “Of course I did,” Johnny said. “You see, Cody, in my seven years of fighting the system, the creators were completely baffled and worried that I would never give in. Remember how you had a ‘talk’ with McPherson after you got in trouble? Well, I had chats with all of the creators at one point or another. That’s why I made fun of them in the hearing today; Tammy gave me a little inside info on them and since I’m ever the opportunist, I made the most of the situation.

 

            “Anyway, after seven years of frustration, I was finally sent to the man in charge, Vince Rhines. I was terrified when I first saw him…yeah, he still wore the mask. But right from the get-go, I knew he was different than all the other creators.

 

            “Whereas the other creators just yelled at me in the same way McPherson did to you, Rhines just talked to me normally, in a similar calm tone that he did at the hearing today. By the way, I heard everything he said from the moment you were drug in there; it’s just nobody realized I was listening. Anyway, in my first talk with Rhines, he told me all about the system, how he knew everything that had happened to me, and how he was so proud of me. He explained to me that I was different than all of the other kids, who he thought were ‘idiots’. He even made fun of the nannies and other creators a little bit. He then told me he knew I was planning to escape and how I was going to do it.

 

            “Don’t ask me how he knew…I still will never figure that out. Rhines is a freaky person…I know I was terrified when he knew about my escape plan. Rhines may be cruel, soulless, and just a plain jackass, but he is definitely smart. He’s almost like the god of the program, really…he was one of the original creators of the whole idea of Reconstruction. And his center was the first one built. When that first kid I was with became decoded, it was a major breakthrough…Reconstruction centers starting popping up all over the country.

 

            “I knew Rhines was extremely proud of his success, but he was mystified at how I had managed to fight. He was so proud of me…it was weird, at that moment I actually kind of liked the guy. Anyway, he told me that he knew that I was trying to escape, but that he would allow it to happen. He was just curious to see if I could pull it off…he said he wouldn’t tell anyone about it, but that if I got caught, he would force me back into the program.

 

            “At first I doubted his word, but I figured I had nothing to lose anyway. Of course he hadn’t counted on Tammy, and I was a little worried that since she was now involved, Rhines might tell everyone our plans. When I told Tammy, she almost got cold feet and said she couldn’t go through with it.”

 

            “But in the end,” Tammy said. “I decided that I would rather be caught and forced to be a baby than live with myself knowing that John would be trapped there. So I decided to keep going.”

 

            “But Rhines was true to his word,” Johnny said. “The time passed, and he still did not interfere. I was extremely nervous when the actual day came, but like I said, the escape plan worked perfectly.

 

            “I guess it’s like Rhines said; he didn’t care if I got loose as long as I could pull it off, and he was so proud of me that me being able to break free that it made no difference that I would never be decoded. Besides, he knew that I was in contact with you, and he thought I was a coward who chose to save his own skin. On top of that, even with Tammy’s help, he never dreamed that I’d be able to make it on my own. You can bet he was shocked as hell when he saw me in there today…he had only known that Tammy was trying to get you free, and he knew that she would never succeed without you having two parents and having your confession of your state of babyhood.

 

            “But like I was saying before, even though Tammy and I were finally free, our job still wasn’t done; there was still the fact that you were here.”

 

            Johnny then took a deep breath and said, “Well, kid, I think that’ll be it for tonight. We’ll tell you the rest later.”

 

            Even though I was really tired, I just had to hear the rest at that moment. “No, Johnny, please, tell me the rest.”

 

            Johnny looked at Tammy, and when she nodded, he sighed and said, “Ok, then. Now, remember, at the beginning, you weren’t part of the plan at all. I had already met Tammy and had been fooling the nannies when you arrived. You only got there a few weeks before it was time to escape, and I had no idea you were coming. By the way, that’s why I always managed to stay so calm around you; I had almost full confidence that I would be escaping, so I didn’t see any need to worry about anything.

 

            “Now you have to realize, Cody, Tammy and I had been waiting for almost three years for my escape, basically doing nothing new on any given day. However, the whole program really bothered Tammy; she was disgusted at seeing all of these kids being treated like babies. I, of course, was completely used to it; I had seen and experienced it for seven years, so I didn’t care about anyone escaping other than me. Any time a new kid came in, I didn’t really have to talk to him to keep from being decoded.

 

            “You see, Rhines was lying to you today. He said that I used other kids to keep from becoming decoded during those seven years and that I only continued to talk to kids like you to make sure I didn’t become decoded. But remember, he knew as well as I did that I was talking to Tammy constantly, so of course he knew that I didn’t need to talk to you kids to keep my head. So he was obviously lying to you just to torment you. Besides, he didn’t really expect me to come back for you….he thought I was selfish, but he knew I wasn’t selfish enough to just use you kids to fight the decoding…he was just screwing with you.

 

            “Anyway, during the three years that I was faking my baby state, I began to just talk to the new kids for fun. Tammy was always really concerned for them, so she managed to convince me to try to help them. I tried many times with varied results; some just told me to get lost as soon as they met me and became decoded soon. Some tried to squeeze as much information out of me as possible, but they also became decoded. Over time, I began to think about the kids who came to the program and their reactions, and I came to a conclusion; they deserved what they had gotten.”

 

            “What?” I asked.

 

            “It’s just like I told you that day, kid,” he said. “As much as some of the creators and nannies are messed up, I agree with the system. I don’t see how it’s possible to argue with Rhines; he’s a genius. His program works; it fixes the problem of bad teens who grow up to be criminals. Tammy, of course, disagrees with me. But after seeing the way all of the kids who came in treated me, I decided to just leave them in the program and let them be decoded. I had managed to see what an evil little punk I used to be…but I knew that this program was the only way these other kids would, and that I would be doing society an injustice by freeing them.”

 

            It was hard to hear this from Johnny, but I forced myself to keep listening.

 

            “So when you first arrived, I had no intentions of freeing you, either. But it’s like I told you, kid, you were different than most of them. You definitely caught my interest by crying on your first day, and then going through those first two punishment levels so fast.

 

            “But I was almost out of the place myself, so I didn’t give it much thought. I did tell Tammy about you, but it didn’t seem like it would matter. When you jumped on me that day, I just figured you were just like the rest of them, so I decided to get you in trouble. But like I said, I never dreamed they would go as far as they did. Tammy tried to help you, and she got some information on your punishments after I told her you jumped on me.”

 

            “So, Cody,” Tammy said. “I was actually working to get you free even though Johnny didn’t agree with me. I probably shouldn’t have, but I tried to give you hope that you would get free. I knew that if one kid was going to escape this, it would be you. Your strength so far had made you the most likely candidate. Johnny told me I shouldn’t, but I did anyway.”

 

            “But,” Johnny said, “When you told me that you have gone through levels 3, 4, and 5, I was genuinely shocked. I really did start to think that you were different, and that maybe I should give you a chance. But then you told me all about how you didn’t deserve to be here. And I got extremely pissed off. I wasn’t angry with you because of what you were saying; I had heard it a hundred times from all of the new kids. But I was extremely hurt and disappointed; I realized that you weren’t different at all. At that moment all of my disappointment turned to anger, and I exploded at you, and I shouldn’t have.

 

            “But despite that, I still had hope in you. I knew that I now only had a few days left here, and I wanted to give you one more chance.”

 

            “You see, Cody,” Tammy interjected. “Do you remember that day I told you I had a major breakthrough for your escape? Well, that breakthrough was that I was named as the head person of camera security. So I was completely in charge of when they were turned on and off. So, I figured that I’d be able to mix you into John’s escape plan. Of course, I hadn’t gotten the chance to hear about the fight you two had gotten into, so I didn’t know that at that moment he would have completely disagreed. And when the nanny caught me when I had taken you into the tiny room, I didn’t really get punished. I’ve always been good at getting out of tight spots, and I managed to convince the nannies that I was still completely trustworthy, even if they didn’t let me talk to you anymore.

 

            “So, with my new camera power, John and I agreed to give you one more chance. He arranged to talk with you the next day, and I was the only one watching the tape. I even had to turn the sound on, something that the nannies stopped doing years and years ago. I still wanted to include you in our escape plan, but John didn’t. However, we were both extremely surprised when you told John that you deserved to be here.”

 

            “That’s right,” Johnny said. “You probably don’t remember kid, but a grin flashed over my face when you first told me you thought you deserved your treatment. Because I then knew that you were indeed worthy of escaping the program.”

 

            “I knew the tape would be important,” Tammy said. “So I kept it. But unfortunately, we were still unable to include you in our escape plan.”

 

            “Why?” I asked.

 

            “Rhines,” Johnny said. “I knew he’d let me escape, but no way was he going to lose you. He was interested in seeing if he could still decode you even though I had given you so much information. You had managed to fight a lot so far, so he wanted to see how much you could take.

 

            “However, the night before my escape, I thought of another plan. Both Tammy and I wanted to get you out of the program, and now we had a tape of your confession. We knew that the two of us could be your parents once I got back to an adult state. So, after my escape was successful, we knew we still had to get you out. And we knew we could do it right underneath Rhines’ nose, and he would never see it coming.

 

            “So that’s why I never told you, anything, kid. I didn’t want to get your hopes up on escaping. I didn’t tell you that I knew Tammy, I didn’t tell you about a lot of the stuff I knew. I knew Rhines would never let you go. And to be honest, I didn’t know for sure if our plan today would work.”

 

            “You see,” Tammy said. “We knew it would be a while before we could try to get you out. We had the tape and I was fully qualified to be your mother, but Johnny was in no state to be your father.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “Even though I’m further along than you are now…I had been partially reconstructed, remember…I still wasn’t an adult. I still sucked my thumb, for crying out loud! So Tammy had to work to get me back to 100% normal. Then I had to go out and get a job. This was really hard; I had spent ten years as a baby, and on top of that, I didn’t have much education.

 

            “I was also extremely worried about money. Even after I got a job, which was only some grunt work at a fast food restaurant, Tammy and I both weren’t making enough to support more than just the two of us, so we knew we could never legally get you out of the program. It looked like you’d be trapped in there after all.

 

            “But then luck struck us; as an ironic twist of fate, both of my parents died in a car crash. They had written their will a long time ago and they left everything to me…I was an only child and we didn’t have much other family. They did this before I even entered the program. They procrastinated and never got around to changing it after they realized that I would become a baby. But, since they never did, I was still entitled to the large amount of wealth they had accumulated. With this new power, Tammy and I knew we could finally break you out. And today, finally, we were able to do so.”

 

            I just stared at Johnny as he finished. Although it had been so much information to take in, I felt deeply satisfied in knowing the whole story. It had been probably the biggest day of my life, and I was still overwhelmed by everything. It seemed like my whole life was a dream.

 

            Exhausted, I let out a huge yawn.

 

            “Alright, kid, that’s it,” Johnny said. “Time for you to go to bed.”

 

            “Here, let me get you dressed,” Tammy said. “Looks like you need a change anyway!”

 

            I blushed at this remark, but since it was true, I couldn’t deny it. Tammy picked me up and took me into a bedroom, which turned out to be…a nursery.

 

            It was pretty weird…it looked a lot like a real baby’s nursery, complete with changing table, crib, and a rocking chair. The walls were even “baby” blue and had nursery patterns on them.

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “That’s part of the rules…you have to spend the next month in an actual nursery. Sorry.”

 

            But as Tammy laid me down on the changing table and began to change my diaper, I found that I didn’t really mind the nursery. Maybe it was just because I had been so used to being treated like a baby, or maybe I had actually turned into what my dad would have called a wussy (which for some reason didn’t bother me anymore), but I realized that I actually liked being in a nursery. It seemed so comfortable and cozy, and unlike the program’s nurseries, I actually felt happy here.

 

            After I was changed into a new diaper, Tammy put a footed sleep on me. She then carried me over to the crib and tucked me in. Then to my great surprise and delight, she gave me something, or rather, someone, that I recognized…none other than Timmy.

 

            Johnny and Tammy just stood over me for a minute. Then, Tammy said, “Oh, I almost forgot, your pacifier. But don’t worry; we don’t have to tie it on you, you just have to suck it. Besides, you probably won’t be able to sleep without it, anyway, Cody.”

 

            As she went to get a pacifier, Johnny said, “You know, I guess now that you’re out, we should stop calling you Cody and refer to you by your real name, Luke.”

 

            But as Tammy walked over, to my real surprise, I truthfully said, “No, I think I like Cody better.”

 

            Johnny and Tammy just smiled as she put the pacifier in my mouth. I closed my eyes and smiled as I drifted off to sleep and they turned out the light and closed the door.

 

Epilogue

 

            As I sit here writing this, seven years have passed since I was freed from The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths, which makes me about 24 years old if you’re keeping count. Quite a bit has happened since I got out.

 

            A lot of it was just like Johnny had described. For a whole month I was treated like a baby as far as the aspects Johnny mentioned; I wore diapers (Tammy usually changed me, although Johnny was often willing to as well) and baby clothes. I could only drink from baby bottles for a few weeks, although I was able to drink anything, not just milk; again, I had to be bottle-fed. Thankfully I could eat a variety of foods, and Tammy was a great cook. Unfortunately, I was unable to use utensils very well, and since I wasn’t allowed to learn how to use them for the first month, Tammy or Johnny has to feed me anything that I couldn’t eat with my fingers (although thankfully I didn’t have to wear a bib and I never made a mess). I had to spend a little bit of time playing with baby toys, and I still had to suck a pacifier and carry around Timmy, but this actually comforted me more than it annoyed me. And of course I still had to sleep in a crib.

 

            There were definitely frustrations, though. Almost every day someone from the program studied me for hours and scribbled down notes (it was a different person each day). Tammy and Johnny both worked part time; Tammy still worked at her government job (she said she couldn’t tell me any details about it) and Johnny actually learned to be a pretty good car mechanic since one of Tammy’s friends knew how and Johnny always loved messing around with cars. They had to work in order to fulfill the requirements to take care of me, and it helped them to feel active and earn some money in addition to the Johnny’s inheritance. Because of this, even though one of them was usually around to watch over me, sometimes I would have to be taken care of by someone from the program, which kinda sucked.

 

            Also, I could still only crawl, and I basically had to stay in-doors all of the time. I also had trouble eating and doing simple activities due to my lack of strength and coordination.

 

            But life was good; I loved living with Tammy and Johnny, and it seemed like they loved having me around. Their house was great, although they had to carry me up and down the stairs. They would often spend time with me, and we often talked for hours and hours exchanging stories or just sharing opinions. Johnny often read the newspaper or magazines and we would talk about topics in them. Sometimes we would watch TV, although there were certain things I wasn’t allowed to watch (I also wasn’t allowed to cuss…the collar still shocked me). I started getting really into watching sports since Johnny was such a fan. And sometimes Johnny or Tammy would take me outside to play.

 

            Eventually, the first month passed, and my collar was taken off. The people from the program stopped coming over, and Tammy decided to quit her job in order to help me get better.

 

            It was a long and grueling process, but eventually I returned back to my normal self. I slowly learned to walk and be potty trained, and I was allowed to sleep in a bed and wasn’t required to play with baby toys. I also had to do a slew of exercises under the direction of a physical therapist to regain my strength, balance and coordination of all of my muscles.

 

            I also got used to sleeping a lot less and a lot of my natural baby instincts like crying were driven out of me…it was surprising how difficult this was. I had gotten so used to these things that only through intense discipline and tests was I able to shake off the habits. I also eventually fought off my need to suck a pacifier, although I still carried Timmy around a lot…Johnny and Tammy didn’t seem to mind.

 

            Despite the extreme difficulty of this process, I continued to enjoy life in ways that I never had before. I had a lot of activities to do, and I got really interested in getting on the internet and listening to music. Also, for the first time in my life, I really began to enjoy reading.

 

            I also still had long talks with Johnny and Tammy. My relationship with them was kind of weird. For the first month, they treated me just like I was their own son. This was nice because I truly felt loved, but it was also irritating sometimes, since I was under their control. They had to discipline me sometimes, and since I had always fought authority in the past, I had to fight the urge to rebel. But because I liked them so much, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

 

            However, after the first month, our relationship changed a little. They still acted a lot like my parents, but also kind of like my friends. They were still in charge of me and helped me return to my normal state, but sometimes they would talk to me just like they would talk to any of their other friends that were their own age.

 

            Sometimes they would invite some of their friends (who they usually met through work) over. This was after I had driven most of my baby traits out of me, and none of them ever said anything about my physical difficulties…Tammy and Johnny had told them I was recovering from a physical injury. I was a little embarrassed sometimes because I still carried Timmy around, but most of them just thought it was cute, even if it was a little on the weird side.

 

            When I finally returned back to my normal state physically, it was the most satisfying feeling in my life. Not only did it feel excellent to have a normal body again, but I felt as though I had truly received a proper childhood; Tammy and Johnny truly had cared for me, and I felt I had gotten something that my real childhood had lacked.

 

            In addition, because of this, to my great surprise I was different. It was like I was a completely different person than who I was before I ever entered the Baby Start Over Program. I had trouble believing that I had ever been the delinquent teenager that I once was. True, I did start cussing again and I regained my sexual functions, but I was completely disgusted with who I used to be. This may seem really remarkable, but when you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you kinda grow to believe a lot.

 

            However, now that I had basically returned to normal, it was time for me to either get out and get a job or get back into schooling. Turns out I actually did both; since Tammy wasn’t working anymore, she stayed home, and I decided that I wanted her to home school me. At the same time, I got a job at a local grocery store, and I did my studies around my work schedule. It was extremely difficult for me to do well in school as well as keep my job, but I was determined to prove that I could do it. It took a few years, but eventually I received enough education that it was equivalent to a high school diploma, and my job went extremely well.

 

            Then, one day, things got really interesting. Johnny came home one day, and he told me he had a crazy idea.

 

            “Cody,” he told me. “I’ve been talking to some different people I’ve met through my friends, and we’ve come up with a proposal. But, it is really going to disrupt the normal flow of our lives, so I want to see what you think before I make a decision.

 

            “Basically, I’ve been thinking about you, me, and Tammy, and how stupid we used to be way back when. We used to live lives that were horrible, and one way or another the three of us have changed our lives. Well, an offer has come up; we have the opportunity to travel around the country going to high schools and speaking to them! They want us to talk to kids and tell them how we used to be and how we realized what big mistakes we made.

 

            “Of course, we won’t tell anyone about The Baby Start Over Program or any of those experiences. But we can still tell them all of the things we’ve learned. What do you think?”

 

            This was a really crazy idea, and I needed a few days to think about it. Could I really do it? Tour the country? Tell kids about how they should clean up their lives? Although it truly would be a major change of pace, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be a great idea. This was my chance to go back and try to keep kids from becoming what I would have become. It was my chance to make a difference.

 

            Once I had made up my mind, the three of us decided to go through with it. We actually sold the house, and between that, the inheritance money, and the money from our three jobs combined, we were able to buy something equal to a tour bus and a driver.

 

            We usually ate out and slept on the bus. It was pretty weird at first, and I had to get used to being mobile all of the time. It was also difficult speaking in front of all of the kids, and at first it seemed like it wouldn’t make any difference.

 

            But as we did it more and more, life became amazing. I really think we made a difference in at least a few of the kids’ lives, and it was exciting to visit places all across the United States. Besides, Tammy, Johnny and I had each other, so we were very happy.

 

            We had a lot of free time on the road, so one day Johnny and I had an idea; we’d write a fictional book that would take ideas from our experiences in the Baby-Start Over Program. We had enough money to get it published after we finally finished writing it, and although it wasn’t a bestseller, we were happy with the success that we got from it. We’re planning on writing more in the future at some point.

 

            So that’s what life has basically been like for me. I have to admit, it’s been a really crazy ten years, and my whole life has been like one crazy roller-coaster. It’s hard to believe, and as I look back now it’s like one huge dream sequence. Sometimes it’s hard to remember my life as a messed up teenager, and even harder to remember life as a baby. But I still remember very clearly how scary it was in that place, and how at one time I feared I would never get out. I also remember what Johnny told me after I went through punishment level 5. He told me that he would do something to make up for the fact that he was responsible for putting me through it, and I realized that he did that by freeing me from the program…funny how things work out sometimes.

 

            I still think about the whole idea of the program a lot. I wonder if the one I attended is still operating, and if teens are getting their diapers changed as I write this. I wonder how many of the programs there are, and if they’re still achieving the desired results.

 

            Johnny and I often discuss the matter in deep detail for hours on the bus. We strongly disagree about the program; I still think it’s fucked up and that there are better ways to handle the problem of the teens of today, but he thinks the program is a good idea and that the results and successes of the programs speak for themselves. We often stay up for hours late into the night discussing the matter, and Tammy, who doesn’t involve herself in the arguments, often has to tell us to shut up and go to sleep.

 

            But there is one thing that Johnny and I still agree on; whether or not these programs should exist, we hope that through our efforts one day we will live in a world where there is no longer a need for such programs.

 

FINALLY…….THE END

 

 

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49 minutes ago, Pierry Louys said:

I have the whole story , if the moderators doesn’t mind I gonna post below ok 

 

 

 

“Cody and the Baby Start Over Program”

 

By: Ron564339

 

E-mail: wbigner@hotmail.com

 

 

Summary: Luke Cody Stephens is a rebellious, violent 14 year old who has already committed many crimes. His parents don't know what to do with him, so they enroll him in a new program. Luke soon finds out that this program aims to revert troubled youths back to their state of baby-hood and re-train them correctly. As "Cody" suffers through his baby treatment, he experiences more humiliation than he ever has before, but he manages to find an unlikely friend through all of his trials. Will Cody's rebellious nature lead him to fight the system, or will he give in and become a helpless baby again?

 

Warning: This story contains profanity.

 

            So there I was, lying down in a giant crib with its bars looking so confining to me. I couldn’t really move because my wrists and ankles were tied down to the crib. And even if I wanted to talk, the damn pacifier that was strapped around my head and stuck in my mouth kept me from doing it.

 

            I looked around the room through the bars of my crib, but there wasn’t much to see; except for the moonlight coming in from the window, the room was completely dark. I could only make out the shapes of all of the other cribs in the room just like mine. Not like it mattered that I couldn’t see them; I knew that just like mine, each one of them contained a pre-teen or teenage boy who like me, were wearing thick diapers, some cloth, some disposable, in addition to some other type of baby clothing.

 

            Unlike me, those poor bastards weren’t tied down. There was no need; they were perfectly happy in their baby-like state, and most were sucking pacifiers because they wanted to, not because they were strapped to their heads.

 

            I was too uncomfortable to sleep. It was this damn cloth diaper; as much as I hated the feel of the disposables, the cloth ones were much thicker, and I hadn’t gotten used to that. When I thought about it, though, I didn’t see how I had gotten even a wink of sleep considering all the crap I had been through.

 

            I tried to spot Johnny, knowing that he was the only one with any sense in this entire hell-hole. But from what I could see, he was happily dozing away just like the rest of those idiots. I guess I really can’t call them idiots, though; they were once just like me, and it’s not really their fault that they loved those stupid diapers and would rather have a teddy bear to help them to sleep than a good shot of NyQuil…

 

            But I guess I’m not making much sense, am I? I should probably back up a bit and explain how I ended up in this horrible situation. Let me see, where should I begin…

 

            I suppose it’s best to start with an introduction. The name’s Luke Cody Stephens. All of my bros called me Luke, but my wussy middle name would be my new label once I entered that hellish place. But that’s jumping ahead a bit.

 

            I wasn’t what you would call your typical kid growing up, unless by typical you mean wretched. What could I say, I was an inner city kid exposed to a lot of rough individuals, and considering how much I hated school, I found joy in the various illegal and immoral activities we did…I even thrived on them.

 

            By age eight I was shoplifting regularly. I picked up smoking at age nine. Ten…vandalism. You know, graffiti, throwing rocks through people’s windows for fun, defacing public property, the usual. By eleven fist fights were the norm for me, and I would get a black eye or bloody nose every week (although I dished out a lot more than I took…I’ve still got scars on my knuckles). I was getting drunk every weekend by the time I was twelve, and getting high was a preferred hobby. I lost my virginity by banging this gorgeous broad when I turned thirteen…I think she was around 20.

 

            School sucked and I only used it as an opportunity to get more acquainted with my fellow thugs. I constantly insulted teachers and even took a swing at an assistant principal…I never did like that stupid chump. Eventually I ended up going to many different schools, and not only did I get kicked outta all of them, I did it with style. I think my favorite was the military school…they don’t seem to like their property being set on fire.

 

            Now, at age fourteen, my parents had damn near given up on me. I had become a typical delinquent that no parent would be proud of. Even though my boyishly pale face and straight black hair might make some think I was a goody two-shoes, the scars on my face, untidy street clothes and decently sized muscles gave another impression.

 

            I suppose part of the problem was their lack of discipline for me, but I don’t know if all the whuppin’s in the world woulda changed the way I was. Anyway, they didn’t know what to do; they didn’t want to see me go to juvi hall, and their lawyers had always made sure I got off…money does strange things to people, even juries and judges.

 

            But my folks were at their wits’ end; they had tried everything else to straighten me out. If they yelled at me, I yelled back and just went back to the streets. If they cried, I didn’t give a fuck, claiming I was just having fun and they should calm down. One time they asked me what happened to the cute little Cody that I had once been. This pissed me off so badly that I yelled, “I hate that fucking name! And don’t ever call me ‘cute’. Damn I hate you sometimes!”

 

            No matter how you look at it, I could tell they had gotten desperate. So when they told me they had enrolled me in a new “school”, I just smiled and said, “Bring it on!” After all, nothing could be as rough as military school had been. Or so I thought…

 

            My adventure basically started with a bus ride. It was weird as hell; there were no other kids on the bus, and all the stuff I was taking with me was taken and I didn’t see where it had been stored. I didn’t really care; these private schools always had weird-ass ways of doing things.

 

            As I got off of the bus, I had to admit I was impressed with the school building; it was fucking enormous. I didn’t think I had ever seen a structure that had covered so much ground space, even though the roof wasn’t all that high.

 

            My welcome wasn’t exactly heart-warming; the rainy weather combined with the dark uniforms that my two escorts were wearing made me feel like I was going off to the hot seat or something. These two guys each grabbed one of my arms tightly and began to lead me off to the entrance, all without saying a word.

 

            Normally I would have raised my fists and given each of them a swift jab to the face, but I stopped myself; I was curious about this strange building, and decided that I’d bide my time and strike at a more appropriate time.

 

            After we went through the door, they led me through this gigantic hall. The lights were bright and the floor was covered with these pale blue tiles. The walls were the same color. Despite the bright lights, the place had an eerie feel to it; I still felt like I was being led to my doom. However, we soon ran up to another person, a man in this tight leather outfit. He was skinny and had this thin black mustache and sleek black hair. As we approached, he gave me this sly grin and said in a shrill voice,

 

            “Ah, Mr. Stephens. I’ve taken a look at your past record, and I must say that it is quite extensive.”

 

            “Impressive, eh?” I asked with a sarcastic smile.

 

            “Quite,” he replied. “And because of this, I do think you’ll find your time in our little program to be quite helpful.

 

            “But first things first. We must get you properly situated.”

 

            As he said this, he pulled out this metal collar thingy from one of his pockets. It was just big enough to fit around my neck, and it had a shiny glare to it.

 

            He moved forward and began to attempt to put it around my neck. I say attempt because I used my feet to kick it out of his hand. That collar looked pretty fucked up to me, and there was no way this prick would put it on me. I would have used my arms, but those two stupid fucks were still holding on to me tightly, not moving. But they were hella strong and I couldn’t move my arms at all.

 

            “I’m not wearing that fucking thing, so you had better give up right now!” I said angrily.

 

            The skinny guy bent over to pick up the collar, although he still has a smile on his face. “Ah, a feisty one, aren’t you Mr. Stephens? No matter; gentlemen, please suppress Mr. Stephens here.”

 

            Before I knew it, the two guards had pinned me to the floor, and no matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t move.

 

            I felt a metal object click into place around my neck. It wasn’t tight enough to choke me; in fact, I couldn’t feel it at all, really. There was definitely something pretty weird about it.

 

            As soon as it was clicked on, the skinny guy said, “All right, men, you can let go of him now.” As they did so, I quickly got to my feet and felt the collar. It was definitely there, even though I couldn’t feel it on my neck.

 

            “And considering how much of a fight you’ve already put up, I will now show you why these little devices are so useful in keeping loathsome boys like yourself in line.”

 

            Not knowing what else to do, I tried to yank off the collar, but it wouldn’t budge. I then decided to try and make a break for the doors. As I turned, however, I felt a surge of pain shoot through my entire body.

 

            I collapsed to the floor, screaming in pain. It was worse than anything I had ever felt before, and I had been sliced with knives and had teeth punched out. I felt like my whole body was on fire, and every single inch of my body was in agony. The immense pain continued for about one full minute, and when it finally stopped, my body was too weak from the pain to move.

 

            “Don’t worry, Mr. Stephens, or should I say, Luke,” I heard the skinny guy say. “You’ll be fine in a few more minutes. But let this remind you of what happens when you don’t cooperate…any one of our trained officials can make you experience it again at any time.”

 

            I listened to these words as I felt myself being dragged across the floor. I guess the two guards were doing it, but I still didn’t really feel like moving; I didn’t really care where they were dragging me, I was just glad the pain was over.

 

            As the skinny guy faded from view, I noticed that I was taken into a small room with white lights, white walls and white floor tile. They hoisted me up onto this soft table. From there, they stripped me naked. This was completely embarrassing and degrading, and I tried my damnedest to resist, but my body was still too weak. After I was naked, I felt them take my arms and strap them down to the table. With that, the two guys left.

 

            Nothing happened for the next few minutes. I did regain my strength, but my arms were so securely pinned to the table that all I was able to do was move my head and my legs around a little. This really sucked, and I let out a yell to express my rage as I violently tried to struggle out of my bonds.

 

            For the first time in many years, I began to feel actually scared; I couldn’t do anything, and I had no idea what these freaks were going to do to me. I knew it had to be illegal, and I swore that I would make my parents sue this place and have all of these creepy fuckers arrested once I got out.

 

            Before I could think about much else, a new person entered the room. I looked up and saw that it was this extremely hot woman in a nurse’s outfit (which I found very sexy). She had a beautiful face, a tight body, and really nice blonde hair.

 

            She began to speak to me. “So you’re the newest member in our wonderful program! Welcome!”

 

            “Funny way to welcome a guest,” I said. “Shocking him and strapping him to a table.”

 

            “Oh, but it’s the only way to handle naughty little boys like yourself,” she said in a sexy, but condescending voice.

 

            “Wait one second,” I said. “I may be ‘naughty’, but I ain’t no little boy. I’m a fucking man…OUCH!”

 

            All of a sudden I got another horrible shock from the collar I was still wearing. Thankfully, this one only lasted about five seconds, and even though I still hurt, my body wasn’t weakened like it had been from the longer shock earlier.

 

            “You better watch that potty-mouth of yours,” she told me. “Every time you say a naughty word, you will receive a shock for five seconds. After 200 curses, it will become ten seconds, and every 200 curses it becomes five seconds longer. We have found this to be a very effective way of cleaning up filthy little mouths.”

 

            Being very frustrated at what she told me, I decided I would shut up for the moment; those shocks were so painful that I wanted to avoid them at all costs.

 

            She then continued. “Hmm…I’m told your name is Luke. But that doesn’t seem to fit a cute little boy like you. I think I like your middle name, Cody, much better. So that’s what we’ll call you while you’re here.”

 

            Forgetting the collar, I yelled, “I hate that fucking name!” I then received another horrible shock.

 

            “You’ll learn shortly, Cody,” she responded. “Anyway, let me inform you about our program. It was developed for bad little boys such as yourself in order to fix what is wrong with you. The basic idea is that you were raised wrong, and that is why you are the unpleasant thorn in society’s side that you are. Therefore, we will have to start over, and retrain you in your ways.”

 

            “What in the…heck are you talking about? Start over?”

 

            “Oh you’ll find out soon enough. For now, I think we had better get you dressed.”

 

            As she went over to open a drawer, I said, “Good, I want to put my clothes back on anyway.” I had assumed that they had only made me naked to perform a physical on me or something.

 

            “Oh, you’ll have no need of those rugged things anymore,” she said as she rummaged around in the drawer. “We have brand new clothes for you. I think we’ll start off with disposable…they’re easier to deal with, anyway.”

 

            Not having a clue what she was talking about, I just watched her for a second. As she turned toward me, I noticed she had something in each hand. In one hand was a small container. In the other, a soft white material that had this little cartoon pattern along the edge of it.

 

            Suddenly, to my great horror, I began to piece together what was happening. The words “start over”, “disposable”, and “little boy” all combined together with the material she was holding to make me realize what it was. It was a…DIAPER.

 

            As I made the connection, the nurse woman spoke again. “You see, Cody, in order to retrain you, we must start from the beginning. This means you will have to become like you were at the beginning, in other words, a baby. And as you probably know, babies must wear diapers, so let’s get you ready.”

 

            I of course wouldn’t have any of this fucking shit. I yelled, “No fucking way, bitch!” I got another nasty shock, but after the initial pain, this one had no effect on me; I was too angry. I continued to thrash my body wildly about; there was no way in hell I would be wearing a diaper.

 

            Unfortunately, the nurse lady was prepared. “Tut tut,” she said. “Let’s teach our new baby a lesson.” With that, she pressed a button on her sleeve, and I felt another horrible shock. This one, however, didn’t go away for a full two minutes. It was pure agony; I wished that I could die rather than for the pain to continue any longer.

 

            When it was finally over, I yet again did not have the strength to move. Although my head was positioned in a way to see my crotch and the nurse, I couldn’t move it.

 

            A smile spread across her face as she stepped towards me. As I lay there limply, she opened up the container and began to sprinkle a white powder on my crotch. The smell of it was sickeningly sweet…it reminded me of the smell of babies. This led me to realize that it was baby powderthat she was putting on my crotch. Too weak to express any anger, I could only manage to say in a tiny voice, “Wait, what are you doing, don’t put that on me!”

 

            But she only continued to smile and say in a babyish voice, “Oh come now, baby Cody has to smell nice and baby fresh like the baby he is. Besides, we don’t want him to get a diaper rash!”

 

            These words were so horribly embarrassing that I actually began to cry. And I never, I mean, never, cry.

 

            The nurse continued to do her work, humming as she grabbed my ankles, lifted up my legs (how in the hell did she do that? it took her no effort at all!), and then put some of the baby powder on my ass, which she referred to as my “baby bottom” (which I hated). She then unfolded the diaper and placed it underneath me.

 

            At this point I was bursting in tears, and just pleaded with her in a bitchy, whiny little voice. “Please,” I cried. “Don’t do this! Don’t put me in a fucking diaper!”

 

            The shock I received from my cursing just reminded me of how helpless I was. I still didn’t have the strength to resist, and before I knew it, the nurse had pulled the diaper through my legs and tightly fastened around my waist with the tapes on the side.

 

            The feel of it was horrible. It was extremely thick, almost as if I had a pillow under my butt. Plus it was so soft, making me feel like the biggest pansy in the world. These two things were so cuddly that I almost felt like physically vomiting. I felt the soft plastic up against my thighs, butt, and whole crotch. To make matters worse, I looked down and saw these little cartoon characters dancing around gleefully on the strip along my waist. But there was nothing I could do; I was trapped in this soft plastic prison, and I honestly began to feel like a helpless little fucking baby. The whole feeling made me continue to loudly cry and whine, no matter how hard I tried to keep it in. I felt the tears stream down my face and my cheeks were red hot from humiliation.

 

            But this wasn’t enough torture for the nurse. She had to keep on mocking me and degrading me by talking to me like I was an actual baby.

 

            “Aww, yes, my sweet wittle Cody looks so adorable in his dydee! But don’t cry, wittle baby, you’ll have many other nice things to play with! Toys, rattles, pacifiers, teddy bears, blankies, and many other delights that will surely make baby Cody stop crying!”

 

            This only added to my grief as I continued to sob and take in the fact that I would be helplessly treated like a baby. Not only was my body still physically weak, but I knew that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. If I ever began to step out of line in the slightest bit, I would have to face that ungodly pain again, and my body would become too weak to do anything for another period of time.

 

            As the horror of my whole situation hit me, I didn’t even have the energy to resist. I was in a state of complete apathy and defeat, so I just gave up. I just helplessly watched as the nurse began to dress me in pajamas for babies…I would later learn it was called a footed sleeper. It was this disgustingly cute baby blue, and it had Mickey Mouse designs on it. To my utmost horror I realized that sewn into it on the chest it said “Baby Cody”, which made me cry even more. Not to mention the fact that the warm, soft material covered my whole body.

 

            I then saw her take out one of those things babies suck on, in other words, a pacifier. I saw her take a piece of ribbon and tie it around the pacifier, and then she pinned the ribbon to my sleeper.

 

            “Well, since my wittle Cody can’t seem to stop crying, maybe this will quiet him down. And if he doesn’t want his paci, maybe he would rather have another shock!”

 

            Utterly terrified at the prospect of being shocked again, I continued to cry as she inserted the rubber nipple of the pacifier into my mouth. It muffled my crying, and it actually sounded just like it does when a baby is crying and a mother gives it a pacifier to calm it down. My sobs continued, but the pacifier muffled the sounds, making it sound like a mere whimper. All of my pride had now been run into the ground as I sucked on the pacifier like a little one year old. I reminded myself of all of those stupid ass TV shows where the baby won’t shut up until it gets its pacifier.

 

            The nurse then un-strapped me from the table. I didn’t even attempt to fight back because I was so scared of getting another shock. She then lifted me up and carried me in her arms (again, I was dumbfounded by her total strength). I continued to cry as she smiled down at me and made baby noises to try to cheer me up. She then laughed and remarked that it was fitting that I was crying since I would have to get used to my new life as a baby. She then cooed me once more and pinched my cheek, which I completely loathed.

 

            Still sobbing around my pacifier, I looked at the walls as the nurse carried me through the hall. Eventually we came to this huge door with a sign over it. The sign read “THE NURSERY”. Upon reading it I cried into my pacifier even more.

 

Part 2

 

            As the nurse carried me into “The Nursery”, I experienced a new feeling: just pure awe. Firstly, the size of the room was amazing; it was easily half the size of a football field. The walls were a combination of pale colors; a light “baby” blue, pink and yellow, and the carpeted floor white. What made this even more awkward was the fact that the walls were covered with all kinds of babyish designs, from smiling bunny rabbits to cartoon characters to paintings of teenage boys crawling around in diapers. The pure cuteness of it all truly sickened my stomach, especially because it reminded me of my current condition. It almost felt like the designs were pointing fingers at me and laughing at my baby treatment.

 

            Even more shocking than the room itself was what was contained in it. Almost every kind of item or furniture you think about when you think about babies was in here. There was a row of baby cribs up against one wall, but these were not normal cribs; a full grown adult could fit in one. I saw big high chairs up against tables. I saw bookshelves filled with little kids’ books. I saw rocking chairs and rocking horses. I saw all kinds of baby toys and blocks scattered across the floor. And worst of all, I saw a huge line of those horrid diaper changing tables, each covered with sickening baby designs.

 

            But what truly made this room shocking and horrifying was not the room itself, nor the objects contained in it; no, the worst part was the fact that there were about 100 boys in the room, and each one was wearing baby clothes. They looked to range from about eight years old to about twenty years old. Some were wearing sleepers like me, others were wearing overalls, some were wearing what I later learned were onesies, and some were just there in their diapers with nothing covering them up. And even if you could not plainly see their diapers, that telltale bulge made certain that each boy was wearing a thick diaper, whether it was disposable or cloth.

 

            In addition to the boys, there were many grown women in the room as well. But they were not dressed as babies; they wore adult clothes, and even though they did not have the same appearance as the nurse who was holding me, it was clear that they were there to watch over the boys and enforce the rules.

 

            As if that in itself wasn’t bad enough, I could tell these boys were not in the same mindset as me. As I watched, I realized they were not merely dressed as babies and resisting the idea. They weren’t even acting like they were aware of it. Instead, each was acting like a real baby. I was sickened by these sights but at the same time I felt sorry for these pathetic kids.

 

            I saw one kid that looked about 15 who was playing with some of the blocks strewn across the floor. I saw a 12 year old shaking a rattle and staring blankly at it. I saw a 9 year old trying to suck his toes. I saw a whole group of boys being read a story by one of the women, and the boys were all listening intently to every word. I saw an 18 year old asleep on the floor, a smile across his face as he sucked his thumb and clutched a baby blanket that was big enough for him. I saw a 16 year old being rocked in a rocking chair and being fed a baby bottle by one of the women. I saw a group of boys peacefully sleeping in some of the cribs. I saw a 13 year old being spoon fed in a high chair. I saw an 8 year old rolling around on the floor making baby noises. And worst of all, I saw a whole group of boys laying down on the changing tables with women standing over them, and I shuddered to think that they were getting their diapers changed.

 

            As I took all this in, my previous feelings of anger, sadness, and humiliation were all multiplied by ten. The fear of the shock collar was still in my mind, so all I could make myself do was softly whine around my pacifier.

 

            The nurse carried me over to the middle of the whole area and just set me down on my ass. The carpet felt soft, and it felt weird to have so much padding between my ass and the ground. After told me to “Have fun with your little friends, baby Cody,” the nurse left the room.

 

            As I sat there dumbstruck by what I was seeing, I began to calm down and stop my foolish crying. I spit out the pacifier but didn’t bother to unpin it from my sleeper. As I tried to think straight, I became more and more appalled at what I saw.

 

            First of all, I hate babies anyway. They make these really annoying crying sounds, they’re always spitting up, and they always smell because they shit their diapers. But it was ten times worse seeing these boys, not babies, but boys, acting like babies. In addition to the dumb giggling and gurgling noises that were everywhere, every now and then you’d hear one just burst out into crying. And I’m not talking about soft crying like mine; they were screaming at the top of lungs. As I watched, one of the women would rush over to comfort the screaming pre-teen or teenager. She would then often do things like play a game to calm him down, bounce him up and down, give him a pacifier, put him down for a nap, feed him a bottle, or, if need be, take him over to a changing table to change his diaper.

 

            The sight of this began to really upset me and it started to drive me crazy. Deciding that the only option I had was to escape this evil nursery, I immediately rose to my feet and tried to run.

 

            But to my dismay, as soon as I got to my feet, another tortuous shock from my collar made by body collapse again. This completely terrified me. I realized that the collar not only had a built in shock for swearing, but also for standing. I then realized that most of the boys would not walk; instead, they would crawl. I panicked, feeling a new sense of confinement. Feeling stupid, I attempted to try crawling. Thankfully, it worked, and I could move about with pretty much freedom. But I couldn’t go nearly as fast as I could running, and surely one of the women would catch me and I’d be in for a huge shock if I tried to escape.

 

            My last resort was trying to remove the collar. But this hope was destroyed when I realized that as soon as I pulled on it, I got another shock. With my last idea being useless, I felt a complete sense of defeat. I simply just sat back down on my butt and began crying again.

 

            I must have not been crying really hard, because thankfully, none of the stupid bitches tried to come over and make me stop. Instead, a boy who looked to be about 10 started to crawl over to me. He was only wearing a red T-shirt and a cloth diaper, and he was holding a teddy bear, and even though he only spoke gibberish, he offered me the bear.

 

            I was still really upset and pouting, so I grabbed the stupid bear and threw it across the room. This immediately caused the boy to howl out very loudly, and immediately one of the women came and picked him up. As she patted his back and tried to calm him down with her soft words, he slowly stopped crying. She put him back down and he crawled over to play with some of those baby ring things on the floor.

 

            I didn’t understand why she hadn’t punished me or even taken any notice of me. But I was just glad that I didn’t receive another shock. Still though, I was stuck, and not knowing what else to do, I pouted and went back to thinking about how completely bad this situation was. I didn’t see how this whole place was legal at all. I thought about how if my parents knew what went on in here how they would sue the living hell out of it.

 

            Then another truly horrible thought struck me; maybe they knew exactly what was going on here, and that they supported it! If so, that meant that no one who would think this place was awful knew that I was here!

 

            But it’s not like it mattered. Even if my parents didn’t know about all this, there was no way that I could escape it and let anyone know what was going on.

 

            As I began to ponder what I had done to deserve this, another boy crawled over toward me. Well, I say boy; he actually looked like he was in his mid twenties. He had blondish brown hair that was neatly parted, light brown eyes, and a face that looked like he belonged in one of those fucking boy bands. Like me, he had a footed sleeper on, but his was yellow. He also had a pacifier attached to it by a ribbon, and he was gladly sucking on the pacifier. I noticed that across his chest read the name “Baby Johnny”.

 

            I was totally expecting another baby-like encounter like I had had with the previous boy, so you can imagine my total shock when he spit out his pacifier, held out his right hand towards me and said “Put ‘er there pal!” in a completely normal (and surprisingly low) voice.

 

Part 3

 

Completely taken aback by this phrase, I basically just continued to stare at the guy in disbelief. After a few seconds, he pulled his hand back.

 

            “Fine, be rude,” he said. “It makes no difference to me anymore, I’ve come to expect it from another punk kid like you.”

 

            Still in shock, the only thing I managed to say was, “You…you can talk!”

 

            “Apparently so can you,” he responded with a sarcastic smile. “Genius communication skill, ain’t it?”

 

            “Wait, now I’m really confused,” I said as I put my face in the palm of my hand.

 

            The guy just laughed and said, “Well, let me break it down for ya. I’ll start off by introducing myself. I’m John Wyatt, although I’m now simply known as ‘Baby Johnny’, as you’ve probably been able to tell by the lovely sewn in label.” As he made this comment, he motioned his hand towards the label across his chest.

 

            He continued by saying, “You are now the newest recruit to this ‘illustrious’ program. They call it ‘Reconstruction’, and this place is known as ‘The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths’, although it’s earned the nickname ‘The Baby Start Over Program’. I’m assuming they’ve told you what the program does, no?”

 

            It was kind of hard to tell when “Johnny” was being sarcastic and when he was serious. Still sort of lost, I said, “All that nurse lady told me was that I’m going to ‘start over’ because I wasn’t raised right, or something like that.”

 

            “Well, that’s the basic idea, my friend,” he said. “You, just like we all once were, are a burden to society. Don’t try to deny it,” he added when I was about to object. “I know that you’ve already committed God knows how many crimes. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

 

            “You see, this place is sort of a last resort for parents who don’t know what to do with their delinquent children. Everyone here once had problems that no school, no court, no correctional program could fix. Their parents had given up, and upon hearing about the program, decided to enroll their troubled youth. And that is why you’re here, am I right?”

 

            He had basically hit the nail on the head. But as I looked around, I couldn’t believe it. There was no way these wussy kids had once broken the law. They were just like babies, for crying out loud!

 

            “Yeah, that’s why I’m here, I guess,” I said. “But wait, you’re tryin’ to tell me these fucking…OWW!” I said as I received another shock.

 

            Johnny just laughed and said, “Oh, you’ll learn eventually. It only takes so many shocks to purge you of your profanity. Although I will say that I myself still occasionally utter a filthy word and get a nasty shock,”

 

            After recovering from my shock, I got back on track. “Anyway, you’re tellin’ me these…pansies were once violent, disrespectful lawbreakers?”

 

            “Indeed, my friend,” he replied. “As you look around this room, you will see a whole tandem of kids, ranging from age 8 to age 20 that were once young hoodlums in their respective neighborhoods. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

 

            “Take a look at Joey over there,” Johnny said as he pointed to a kid that looked 13 and who was currently building a structure out of blocks. “Before he came here, he was a gang member who specialized in knife fights. He hospitalized a few other random kids, and his parents couldn’t stand to see him be punished, using their money to save him from legal punishment. But now that he’s made his way here and started going through the program, he’s as harmless as a one year old.

 

            “How ‘bout ol’ Simon over there?” he said motioning towards a 15 year old that was being bottle fed by one of the women. “By age twelve he was stealing cars every other week. Now, he won’t even touch another kid’s toy without asking for it.

 

            “I think Calvin was one of the roughest kids that’s come here,” he said, pointing at a 17 year old who…I shuddered…was getting his diaper changed. “He specialized in arson, God knows how many buildings lay in ashes because of his work. He even claimed that he killed a kid but was proven ‘not guilty’ in court. I have to admit even I was surprised when I would watch him peacefully doze off in his crib snuggling with his teddy bear.

 

            “Some are younger, of course. Matt over there is still physically only age 8, although like all the others he has the mind of a baby. He would get into fights every single day at school, and he eventually hit his principle and broke his nose (‘strong kid,’ I thought). Now he bawls non-stop until he gets his pacifier and is rocked back and forth to soothe his nerves.

 

            “Then there’s Tommy. That 10 year old over there, the one trying to get his toes in his mouth, was once a drug dealer. How he managed to get into all that by the tender age of 10, I’ll never know. But now he’s an adorable fellow that would make any common girl say ‘Awww’.

 

            “And then of course there’re your rapists. Billy over there,” he said pointing to a 16 year old. “He raped countless girls at weekly parties. But I’ll never forget the look of pain and humiliation in his face when he was bent over one of these women’s knees and spanked until the cows came home. Sometimes that happens to the more resistant blokes.”

 

            “Perhaps you’re wondering why there ain’t no girls here. I have heard that there are institutions such as this one for girls, although I’ve never seen it with my own two eyes. The creators apparently only think the program works if the genders are separated. Besides, as you can imagine, there are plenty more hoodlum boys than girls.”

 

            After this whole speech, I’m still not sure if I believed Johnny. It seemed like there was no way that these harmless little babies were at one time horrible criminals. It just couldn’t be. Curious as to how these kids could have been possibly transformed, I decided to ask Johnny how the program worked.

 

            “Ok, wait a second,” I said. “If what you’re saying is indeed true, then how in the…heck, did they go from such bad kids to the little wussies they are now?”

 

            Johnny smiled and said, “Well, it’s a bit of a complicated process, but I’ll still try to explain how it works, considering I doubt either of us are going anywhere anytime soon. Uh, well,” he said as he looked up over my head. “After your feeding, that is…Enjoy!”

 

            Puzzled by what he was talking about, I just looked at him funny. I then felt a shadow go over me, then I felt someone lift me up from my armpits, and before I knew it, one of the women in the room was holding me in her arms and carrying me (like a baby, I might add) over to a rocking chair.

 

            As she walked (how in the hell was she so strong?), she smiled at me and said, “Ok, wittle Cody, time for you to get your ba-ba!”

 

            Once I realized that she was talking about giving me a baby-bottle, I at once yelled “NO WAY!” and I began to struggle and try to escape from her arms. But she seemed to have the same strength as the two guards that had carried me in, and no matter how much I resisted, she held me firmly in her arms.

 

            “No no no, baby Cody,” she said. “It is time for your bottle, and you WILL be a good boy and drink the whole thing!”

 

            As she sat down in the rocking chair, still holding me tightly with one arm, she reached over and retrieved a baby bottle that was full of milk. As she began to press it towards my mouth, I shot out a hand and grabbed it, trying to hold it back. But she was just too strong; the nipple inched closer and closer to my mouth. But even though I couldn’t hold her hand back, I could at least prevent it from going into my mouth. As it approached my mouth I tightly closed my lips, and she was unable to get it through.

 

            “Well, if baby Cody is going to be a bad little boy, then we will just have to punish him!” she said. With that, she reached over and touched her wrist, and I immediately experienced that same torturous shock throughout my entire body. After it went on for a full minute, my body collapsed again and I could put up no more resistance.

 

            Satisfied, the woman then took the bottle again, and this time it went into my mouth without resistance. As tears filled my eyes again, she forcefully squeezed the milk into my mouth, and I was simply too weak to prevent myself from swallowing it. As I continued to nurse from the bottle, she rocked me back and forth, patted my butt with her hand and said “Now you’re being a good baby, Cody. Drink your whole bottle for mommy!”

 

            As I finished off the stupid thing, she took it out of my mouth and said, “There, now was that so bad? Babies need their milk, after all.” I didn’t even resolve to object to the whole idea. With the ordeal now over, the woman carried me back over to where Johnny was.

 

            “Now you can go back to playing with your new friend, Johnny,” she said as she put me down and left. To make matters even worse, Johnny was sitting there with a smirk across his face.

 

            “Have a good time?” he asked. “Milk, it truly does do a body good.”

 

            As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I muttered, “Fuck you,” and received another five second shock.

 

            “Oh come on,” he said. “Honestly, the kids here always make such a big deal about all this stuff when they first get here. Is it really that bad to be fed a bottle? Honestly…”

 

            “Yes, it is that bad,” I remarked, my pride still hurting badly.

 

            “Oh, just forget about it,” he said. “Well, where were we? I do believe you were asking me about how all these kids went from horrible monsters to the harmless babies you see before you. Are you still interested in pursuing the topic?”

 

            I wasn’t really that interested, but I wanted to have something to think about other than the horrible experience of being bottle-fed, so I said, “Yeah, go ahead.”

 

            “All right,” Johnny began. “Well, as you know, the whole idea behind this program is that you were raised wrong, and that is why you have committed the immoral acts that you have. In order to change who you are, they must start over and retrain you. However, the first step in the reconstruction process is called ‘decoding’.”

 

            “What is that?” I asked.

 

            “Well, before they attempt to re-teach you everything about growing up, they must first prepare your mind and body to take in this information again. You see, when kids first get here, their minds have already been damaged…it is impossible for you, for example, to change your ways in your current state of mind.

 

            “Now whether you want to admit it or not, at one point in your life, you were a helpless, innocent baby. Your mommy had to bottle-feed you, put in your crib for naps, and change your messy diapers, among other things. And all you did was cry when you were upset…there was no evil thought in you.

 

            “Well, basically, what this program must first do is return your body and your mind to that state; that is the only way anything can be changed. You have to become malleable, if you will.

 

            “So what in the hell…Ouch!” I said as I received another shock. I would really have to get used to this shock thing.

 

            “I mean, heck, are they going to do to me first?”

 

            “Well, it’s already in effect,” Johnny explained. “You see, most of the fine male specimens you see before you have already been decoded, hence their baby behavior. I do believe there are about five kids, other than you, that are still in the decoding process. You probably wouldn’t enjoy conversing with them, however. They can still talk, but their interests are nothing like they once were; they would probably only want to talk to you about how much they love their pacifiers and how much they like having their diapers changed.

 

            “Anyway, the first things to go in the decoding process are your physical abilities. As you have found out, you are currently unable to stand without receiving a shock. The purpose of this is that they want to condition your body so that the only physical mobility you will be capable of is crawling. Eventually, your legs muscles will ‘forget’ how to walk, and when you attempt to walk, you will lack balance and the proper strength, and you will therefore collapse and fall over. Even if they wanted to and didn’t get shocked, no decoded kid here would be able to walk unless they have been re-taught how.

 

            “Also, if you’ve noticed, the women here, who we refer to as ‘nannies’, can pick you up and control you very easily. This is not because they are very strong; they’re just average women. It’s your collar; not only does it have shocking capabilities, but it weakens your muscles and makes you light as, well, a baby.

 

            “The purpose of this is to reduce the strength of your muscles. They will not become as weak as a baby’s, but they will become considerably weaker than what they currently are. Even without collars on, most kids here couldn’t put up much resistance if they chose to. This makes it much easier for the nannies to keep them in line.”

 

            As I listened, I became horrified to realize what would happen to my body. “That’s so fucked up…Oww!” I began to say before another shock.

 

            “That’s so messed up,” I tried again. “Does that really happen?”

 

            “I speak the truth to you, my friend. It will happen. And then of course there are your bladder and bowels. I’ll give you about four weeks before you become incontinent.”

 

            “And how does that happen?” I asked.

 

            “Well think about it. Whether you want to or not, you WILL piss and shit…”

 

            But he was cut off from his collar shocking him. To my great surprise, Johnny got shocked for about five minutes. It went on for so long that I thought the pain would actually knock him out.

 

            But to my great surprise, once it ended, he acted like it hadn’t happened at all.

 

            “I really do know better than to curse like that,” he remarked.

 

            “How in the world are you so unaffected by it, though?” I asked.

 

            “Oh, I’m conditioned to it by now. The shock doesn’t affect me any more than a pin prick. But if YOU get conditioned to it, they’ll find other ways to keep you line, if need be,” he said as he saw the look of hope in my eyes.

 

            “Back to what I was saying, you WILL…’go pee pee’ or ‘poo poo’ in your diaper, whether you like it or not. If you haven’t noticed, there are no bathrooms in here, and you have no way to escape this room considering you can only crawl. And if you try to remove your diaper, or even your sleeper, a nanny will soon notice you and you will receive a five minute shock. So, eventually you’ll have no choice but to go in your diaper. And after you do it long enough, you’ll find you won’t be able to control it any more and it will come out without you even noticing. Like I said, I give you about four weeks, tops. But don’t worry if you’re wet or messy…you simply have to just cry for a bit and a nanny will rush over and change you…they’re pretty good at noticing wet and dirty diapers.”

 

            “I don’t believe you,” I said. “There’s no way I’m gonna…do that, in my, my…”

 

            “I’ve heard many say the same,” Johnny remarked. “And look at them now,” he added, pointing over to some boys getting their diapers changed by the nannies.

 

            “Anyway,” he continued. “Your physical attributes will go first, but your mind will still be the same. However, eventually, and it varies from person to person, but given enough time, your mind will begin to return to the way it was when you were a baby. It’s usually a slow process, and because of this, it will probably happen without you even noticing it.

 

            “Typically, it starts small. Kids generally start by finding an interest in the toys here or having stories read to them. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying ‘There’s no way I would ever play with blocks or like these stories.’ But remember, my friend, you have no other form of entertainment. There is no one here who will talk to you normally, save me. The nannies just treat you like a baby, and the kids, well, they’re babies themselves. And it’s not like you have anything else to do. Eventually, you’ll get bored, and your only source of amusement will be these things. Over time, you’ll begin to love them. You’ll be able to pass hours by playing with the toys you see before you, and you’ll become sad, happy, or scared when you here stories like ‘Goldie-locks and the Three Bears’ or ‘Cinderella’. And your reactions will become increasingly babyish because those around you are that way. It will become natural for you to clap with glee when something makes you happy in a story, and simple parts in fairy tales will bring you to tears.

 

            “On that same note, emotionally you will become more and more baby-like. Just look at your current emotions…you have already experienced extreme defeat and grief. And my friend, the only comfort you will receive will be from the nannies and various baby paraphernalia. When faced with complete sadness and defeat and when you have nowhere else to turn, you’ll find pleasure when a nanny holds you in her arms, rocks you and tells you that you’re a good baby. You’ll begin to enjoy the way she plays with you and gives you attention when she changes your diaper. And you’ll begin to get a warm feeling in your stomach and chest when you hug a soft teddy bear, cuddly blankie, or when you suck a pacifier or your thumb. Like it or not, you’ll grow to love these things.

 

            “And your sleep is affected too. They force you to take naps in addition to all of the sleep you get every night. After all, babies do sleep a lot. You will eventually find cribs not to be confining, but they will give you security. And given enough time, you will be unable to sleep without a pacifier, teddy, or other such items. But with these items, you will experience the most peaceful sleep in your life, and your body will have the physical need of getting up to sixteen hours of sleep a day.

 

            “Of course other aspects of your mind will go too. With no one speaking real English to you, you will lose your ability to speak anything but babyish gurgles and crying. Although if you are stubborn and continue to speak English properly, they will resort to shocking you whenever you speak real words. In addition, your perception will be weakened, and you will start viewing yourself as a tiny baby who is in complete control of the nannies. It will become completely natural for you to cry when you are upset about something, whether you’re scared, hungry, or wet.

 

            “You may be wondering how all of this is accomplished. Well, some of it is forced, such as your motor skills and bladder control. In addition, when you sleep, you will at first be tied in your crib, and a pacifier will be strapped into your mouth to force dependence. Likewise, even though they start off by forcing you to be spoon-fed or bottle-fed like you just experienced, soon they will force you to cry when it is feeding time or when you need to be changed. If you refuse, they resort to more shocking, and they will continue to shock you until you cry. They will then proceed to feed you or change you. After time, you will find yourself automatically crying whenever you feel hunger or realize that you need a diaper change, among other things.

 

            “Other aspects just happen naturally, such as your interest in toys and stories, lack of speech (unless they decide to force you), and emotional security. The environment you’re in will have its way with you and without you even realizing what’s happening, these parts of you will become more and more baby-like.

 

            “Given enough time, the process of decoding will be complete. Other than your body size, you will be in all ways exactly like the baby you once were. Once this is achieved, the reconstruction process can continue.”

 

            This was a whole lot for me to take in, and even though as Johnny talked I became more and more horrified, I had a hard time believing him. I mean, there was no way that I would enjoy holding a stupid teddy bear or wet my diaper…I’d sooner die.

 

            I voiced this concern. “Come on, now,” I said. “You can’t be for real. There’s no way that’ll happen to me.”

 

            “My friend,” he responded. “That’s what they all have said. And look at them now…they’re just as much babies now as when they were physical babies, except for their physical size, of course.”

 

            This hit me very hard and I was greatly frightened by it. Nonetheless, I continued to prod away at Johnny.

 

            “Wait a sec,” I said. “There have got to be a few kids on whom the process didn’t work. I mean, some kids must have resisted and refused so much that the nannies and other people in this program just gave up, right? And the kids got kicked out and were still delinquents, right?”

 

            But Johnny just laughed. “My friend, I wish I could tell you that this was the case. But there has not been one person that I’ve seen come through here that have resisted the program so much that the decoding process failed. Every single kid has been regressed completely back to babyhood, no matter how bad they were. Well, except me, of course.”

 

            I began to ask Johnny why he was different than all of the others, but as I asked the question he said, “That’s a very good question, and because not everyone who comes through here has the sense to ask it, I’ll tell you. But not today…you’re not ready to know yet.”

 

            Not knowing what he meant, I said nothing and he continued to talk.

 

            “I will admit some of the kids give in before others do. It’s amazing how fast some of the kids turn. They are so distraught by their initial baby treatment that they immediately give in to the love, comfort and pleasures of their baby treatment. It may just be that they are weak minded individuals, but whatever the reason, they quickly transform from rough and tough kids to cute, harmless little babies.

 

            “Others tend to put up more of a fight. Other than me, I think the record for the decoding process to complete is around five years. Old Danny holds that record,” he said, pointing to a 17 year old gleefully listening to one of the nanny’s reading a story. “He had such a fire in him, and other than me, I don’t think anyone has received more of the punishments.”

 

            “Punishments?” I asked. “Isn’t the shock treatment enough to make anybody give in?”

 

            “You’d think so,” he said. “But as you’ve seen with me, your body eventually gets conditioned to it. Although at this point it is probably more painful than anything else you’ve ever experienced, that’s just because you’re new. Many kids have been able to actively resist the shock treatment for long enough that it doesn’t affect them much more, and the nannies and other workers have to resort to other methods of getting kids to cooperate.

 

            “It’s actually a step process. Once they realize the shocking isn’t having the desired effect, they resort to the first type of punishment. After a while, if you still resist, they move on to the next, and so on. Each one becomes more and more horrible, and in the end, all kids eventually crack, and no matter how much they resist, they too become decoded.”

 

            Even though I was a bit frightened to hear what these other punishments were, I pursued the topic. “What are the different types of punishment?”

 

            “Well, the first step is…” he began, but I didn’t find out what the first step was just yet, because Johnny then stopped, looked down at his crotch and said, “Uh-oh, mate, looks like I’ve got a wet diaper. You’ll have to excuse me for a bit.”

 

            Then without warning and to my surprise, Johnny began to bawl at the top of his lungs, just like a real baby. There were even tears in his eyes! Within seconds, a nanny rushed over, picked him up, realized that his diaper was wet, and carried him over to a changing table.

 

            I didn’t really want to watch, but my curiosity got the best of me. I crawled after the nanny over to the changing table that she had laid him down on. He was still crying as she began to unfasten his sleeper at the waist, but I heard her begin to comfort him.

 

            “There there, wittle Johnny,” she said as she began to rub his stomach. “It’s ok, mommy is hear to change you.”

 

            Once the bottom of his sleeper was opened, she then unfastened what I would later learn are called “plastic pants”, and then un-pinned the safety pins holding his wet cloth diaper to his body. She took it off, and disposed of the diaper in one pail, the pair of plastic pants in another, where they would both later be washed. Johnny was naked, but neither he nor the nanny thought it was weird at all. It was just as if Johnny was an actual baby having his diaper changed.

 

            He began to calm down as the nanny took a baby wipe and began to clean his dick, his thighs, his waist, and his butt, and his crying was reduced to a whimper. After he was clean, the nanny took some baby powder and powdered his ass (she had grabbed his ankles and lifted his legs so that she could easily get to his butt, and I was reminded about how his collar had affected his weight). Afterwards, she unfolded and slid another cloth diaper under his butt, shook some more baby powder onto his dick and hips, and pulled his diaper up over his waist. She then refastened his diaper using two more “diaper pins” on each side. Afterwards, she put another pair of plastic pants on him. He had considerably calmed down by now, and he was even smiling. The nanny then put her mouth on his belly button and blew some bubbles into it, making a snorting type sound. This resulted in Johnny letting out a babyish giggle, and the nanny just smiled back down at him as she refastened his sleeper.

 

            She then picked him back up, said, “There, all done!”, gave him a good pat on his diapered ass, and placed him back down on the floor. After she left, he simply smiled at me and said, “Ah, there really is little better in life than the feeling of a nice, fresh diaper! I’m tellin’ you kid, drugs and alcohol have got nothing on this feeling”

 

            Still shocked by what I had just seen, I said to him, “But wait…have YOU been decoded, too?”

 

            He laughed again and said, “Well, sort of…it’s a long story, and at some point I’ll tell you. But what you just witnessed is what I like to call ‘playing the system’. That was all an act; I was fully aware of the fact I was being changed, and even though it’s nice to have your wet diaper taken off and getting a new one, my crying was completely under my control. I could have stopped anytime I wanted, I just wanted to make the nanny think she was doing her job.”

 

            “But why did you fake it?” I asked. “What’s the point?”

 

            “I’ll explain it to you later, kid,” he said. “I think we’ve talked quite a bit today. I’ll let you brew over everything I’ve told you…you’ll need some time to take it all in. Plus, I don’t want the nannies getting too suspicious of us, since we’ve been talking for so long. Besides,” he said with a yawn. “I think I need to get some shut-eye, I’m well past the time for my daily nap.”

 

            “Wait, one more question,” I said. “Why are you telling ME all of this?”

 

            Johnny simply smiled at me and said, “Well, kid, to be honest, I don’t tell all of this to every kid that passes through here. They think I’m a baby just like the rest of them. I have found it to be a waste of my time and energy to tell every single kid, and many of them are much better off without ever hearing about how they will be decoded. The ones I talk to tend to be more resistant to the idea, too; it makes sense considering that once they are aware of what’s going on, they will more actively refuse to accept it.

 

            “I typically watch every new kid’s actions for a few days to study them. If they’re the more resistant type, I typically speak to them. If they begin to show signs of giving in, I’ve found that they’re much better off being ignorant of what’s going on; they quickly become happy with their baby treatment, and me telling them what’s happening to them would just ruin it.”

 

            “So why did you tell me on my first day?”

 

            “Ha ha, well kid, let me put it this way,” he said. “I have seen countless hoodlums come through this program, but you’re one of the only few who actually cried in your first few minutes. Maybe it was my own personal desire to comfort you in your defeat, or maybe it was just pity, but even though I knew that since you were crying you’d probably be of a weaker will and be more apt to give in to the decoding, I just couldn’t let you sit there and be miserable. And who knows, maybe now that I’ve told you, you might be able to break Danny’s record and fight the decoding process for more than five years. I think you’ll be an entertaining one to watch, Cody.”

 

            “My name’s not Cody, it’s Luke!” I retorted.

 

            “Well, that ain’t what it says on your sleeper, Cody,” he said as he turned and crawled away.

 

            As I sat there and tried to ponder what I had just heard, I felt an irritation towards Johnny. I was bothered by the fact that he had said that I would be more likely to give in to the decoding because I had cried, but when I stopped to think about it, I was even more bothered by the fact that he said I was one of the very few in the large number that he had seen who had actually cried on the first day I was here.

 

Part 4

 

            With Johnny gone, I had no one to talk to, so I just took a deep breath and lay down on the floor. As soon as I did, I realized that I had to take a piss. As I remembered what Johnny had told me about this, I decided I didn’t want to deal with it, so I ignored the pressure in my bladder. To get my mind on something else, I began to contemplate everything Johnny had told me.

 

            As much as I didn’t want to believe it, what Johnny had described logically made sense…given enough time in a place like this, anybody would start to forget all of the necessary skills to live. I was greatly frightened by the idea of my mind and body returning to a baby-like state, so I decided not to worry about it at the moment. I simply resolved to make sure that I kept my mind sharp and focus on keeping it normal.

 

            The more I thought about it, the more this program sickened me. I still didn’t understand how this program was legal, but I assumed it was because I doubted my parents would get involved with an illegal organization. But this had to be cruel and unusual punishment. I still had the distant hope that my parents, the government, and whoever else would have a problem with this place really didn’t know what went down in here. With that hope, I tried to convince myself that they would find out about it before I had to spend much more time here.

 

            As I continued to think about all of this, the pressure on my bladder got worse and worse. I had never had to go this bad, and I crossed my legs tightly to prevent it from happening. But I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.

 

            It was like a crazy war going on between my pride of not pissing myself and the physical pressure of my bladder wanting me to do so. It got so bad that I even felt pain. I tightened my face and rolled back and forth to hold it in.

 

            But eventually, it got so unbearable that I had no physical choice but to just let it go. Feeling another sense of defeat, I relaxed my muscles. It took a few seconds for my piss to start flowing, but once it did, it was like the Hoover Dam busting. I was thoroughly disgusted as I felt my diaper soak up my warm urine as it flowed out. It was so warm and moist, and not only did I feel it up against my dick and my balls, it was all over my waist and thighs too. As I finished, the horrible squishy feeling of my diaper was an all time low of my time spent here so far.

 

            As the warm moist feeling turned to a cold, damp feeling, I felt like crying again because for the first time in about 11 years, I had pissed myself. And worst of all, there was no way for me to get rid of the damp feeling of my pee up against myself.

 

            Well, other than getting my diaper changed, that is. But there was no way that was going to happen because A, I was not going to shriek like a baby to get the nannies’ attention, and B, the image of Johnny getting changed was still fresh in my mind and I definitely did not want to go through with the process.

 

            This idea worked in theory; unfortunately, a few minutes later one of the nannies came over, and as she picked me up, she said “Ok wittle Cody, it’s time for your nap!”

 

            But as she put me over her shoulder, she sensed what was wrong and said, “Uh-oh, looks like someone went pee pee in his diapy! Next time the baby should cry and let mommy know so that she can change him into a nice clean diaper!”

 

            As she turned around to carry me over to the changing tables, I once again struggled in vain. As she lay me down, I tried to kick her. You’d think I woulda learned by this point, but she immediately gave me another long shock. With my body limp once again, she used a strap to tightly tie my upper body to the table, and then unfastened the bottom of my sleeper. The only resistance I could offer was weakly saying, “But, but...I don’t wanna be changed!”

 

            “Shh…be quiet little one, mommy will fix everything.” With that she stuck my pacifier into my mouth, and since I was afraid of another shock, I just started to cry as I sucked on it. I felt her remove my wet diaper, and I felt horribly ashamed because I was now naked from the waist down. I then felt something cold and wet on my penis; she had taken a baby wipe and was wiping down my crotch. Feeling completely degraded, I just wished for the whole thing to be over. It was even worse when she lifted my legs up and wiped my ass. I then smelt and felt more baby powder being shaken onto my ass, and I felt her lower me down onto a new diaper. After more powder was applied to my crotch, my new diaper was pulled up over my waist and fastened tightly around my hips.

 

            Once she had refastened my sleeper, she picked me up again, smiled at me and said, “Now my pwecious wittle Cody is all dry again! So he can have his nap now!”

 

            She put me back over her shoulder, but this time, she actually carried me out of “The Nursery”. I then realized that the kids here did not spend all of their time in the nursery, and that they had probably been carried in and out without me noticing while I was there.

 

            I didn’t really have the energy or effort to struggle any more, so I just let the nanny carry me down the hall to a new room. This was a smaller room that had about ten cribs in it, and it was dark. As we walked in, the nanny whispered to me, “Now don’t make any noise, Cody, we don’t want to wake up any of our other babies.”

 

            I noticed that most of the cribs had boys in them who were soundlessly sleeping. Through the dark, I saw that all of them looked very happy, smiling around a pacifier or their thumbs as they slept. Although they were all covered in blankets, some of them held teddy bears or other stuffed animals in their arms.

 

            I wanted to make a lot of noise just to spite the nanny and cause the kids to wake up crying, but then I realized I would probably receive my longest shock yet. I instead just continued to suck the pacifier that was still in my mouth while the nanny lowered me into one of the cribs.

 

            However, I almost fought back when she began to tie on a strap around my wrists. But I knew that this also would result in another shock, and at this point I just didn’t care any more. After she had secured both of my wrists and ankles, she unpinned my pacifier ribbon from my sleeper and tied it around my head, insuring that I would not be able to spit it out. She then placed the large baby blanket that was in the crib over my body, tucked me in tight, gave me a small kiss on my forehead and whispered, “Night night baby.” With that, she turned and left the room.

 

            As I lay there, I began to notice that to my surprise, the crib and the blanket were very comfortable. I was warm, but not too hot, and my body felt very relaxed as I felt the soft padding of the crib against my back. Although I did not want to lower my dignity even further by taking a nap in the middle of the day like little kids do, I was worn out from all of the events of the morning, and before I knew it, my eyelids were getting heavy.

 

            The pacifier in my mouth did bother me some, but that minor annoyance could not compare to how tired I was and how comfortable the crib was. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep, happy to know that at least there was one good thing about this fucked up program.

 

            I don’t know exactly how long I slept, but it was one of the nannies who woke me up. For a second I forgot where I was, so I was a little freaked out, but then I remembered. As she began to un-strap my pacifier, I got another urge to resist the stupid woman, but this time it wasn’t the threat of shocking me that stopped me, but my own groggy state.

 

            After she re-pinned my pacifier to my sleeper, she untied me from the crib and picked me up again, although for some reason she carried me on her hip this time. She carried me out of the dark room, and we went back to the nursery.

 

            The nanny once again just plopped me down on the floor with the other kids (who were all still engaged in some kind of baby activity) and left to go do something else. I looked at one of the windows in the huge room, and even though it was a rainy day, I could tell that it was sometime in the late afternoon. I was still pretty tired, so I decided to lie down again. Although the carpet was soft, it wasn’t comfortable enough to sleep, so I got a little pissed. I then looked over and noticed a pink blanket on the floor a few feet away from me. As much as I didn’t want to touch the wussy thing, it looked comfortable, and since I was so tired, it enticed me. Resentfully I crawled over towards it, and it was even worse than I thought. There were pictures of baby boys doing various activities all over it. I picked it up with barely touching it, almost acting like it was covered in shit or something; that’s how much it disgusted me. I flattened it out the best I could, and reluctantly I spread myself out over it. As much as I hated to admit it, it really was very soft and comfortable. As I looked at all of the stupid babies on it, I sneered as I rested my face up against it.

 

            Unfortunately, even though I was really tired, my mind was swimming with thoughts. Once my “nap” was over, I found that my mind was stuck on everything Johnny had said. Was he just trying to scare me, or was it really true that every kid here becomes a baby? As I took another look around the room, I realized that it was very likely that these kids had been “decoded”, and I couldn’t think of any reason they would be here unless they used to be real thugs.

 

            I still had a hard time believing all of this was real. But now that I had gotten over my initial state of shock, it truly started to hit me, and I was not only disgusted at this program, but pissed off. What gave these people a right to do this to these kids? I mean, sure, they were pretty bad, but no one on earth deserved this. I decided that I wanted to ask Johnny how this was legal, but as I glanced around the room, he was nowhere to be found. Lying back down on the blanket, I decided that I’d find him later.

 

            Anyway, even though I felt pretty helpless to this damn system, I was angry enough to decide I would keep on fighting it. They could shock me all they wanted to, they could force me to drink bottles, they could force me to wet my diapers and have them changed, but they would not force me to be a baby again. I would fight as hard as I could to keep my 14 year old mind.

 

            But then Johnny’s words began to echo in my head… “But there has not been one person that I’ve seen come through here that has resisted the program so much that the decoding process failed. Every single kid has been regressed completely back to babyhood, no matter how bad they were.”

 

            I thought about how that Danny kid had resisted for five years, dealing with all of the “punishments”. But what good had it done? Now he was just a baby like all the rest of them. Feeling another shot of fear and defeat, I sighed and decided to stop thinking about it.

 

            There wasn’t much else to do here, so I decided I’d just watch what was happening. As I did, I began to notice a few things that I hadn’t when I had first got here. Firstly, there were the nannies. I guess I haven’t really described what they looked like, but that’s because the only thing in common about them was their actions. Some were young, some a bit older (although none looked older than 40); some hot, some not so pretty (although none were real ugly, I guess that would scare the “babies”); some wore dresses, some sweaters and jeans.

 

            But they all seemed to have the same personality; they were completely sweet and happy all of the time, and very mother-like. They excitedly read stories, bottle-fed kids with calm smiles on their faces, and played with the kids as they changed their diapers. They gave these kids constant attention and were as nice as they could be.

 

            However, as I continued to watch, I realized this wasn’t actually true; sometimes two kids would fight over a toy or something, and a nanny would come in, break it up, scold them, and even occasionally give them a quick swat on the butt. But I noticed that even though they were stern, there was still the love in their eyes.

 

            I also began to notice that they didn’t just simply watch the kids and take care of them. In addition to a nanny occasionally carrying a kid in or out of the nursery, I noticed that they would sometimes carry in cases with baby-bottles full of milk or take out empty ones (I noticed that the full bottles were kept in these little refrigerators near the rocking chairs). They would also take out the pails containing used diapers and plastic pants, and I saw one nanny bringing in a box of new diapers and putting them in some of the shelves under the changing tables. Nannies would also clean up toys and put them back in chests, return blankets or stuffed animals to cribs, or clean up messes kids had left on the high chairs when being fed. They also would change kids into different clothes and play babyish games with them. I began to almost admire (if I didn’t hate them so much) the nannies for their commitment to not only do their jobs, but to do them with so much pleasantness.

 

            I next started to study the room a little bit more. There was only the one door that I had been carried in and out of, and even if I could get to it without the nannies noticing, I couldn’t reach the knob since I was unable to stand. There were also many large windows that I was also unable to reach. I also looked at the ceiling and noticed that there were white lights that had been turned on. I also studied the variety of toys in the room, noticing blocks, stuffed animals, rattles, those little things with buttons that made sounds, toy cars, and even a yo-yo, among other things. Not only did the boys play with these toys with a lot of interest, the nannies would often play with them.

 

            I then noticed that not all of the kids were white like me and Johnny. There were some black kids, some Hispanic kids, and a few Asian ones too. But they all acted just the same, just like the babies they once were.

 

            As I continued to take all of this in, it became dark outside, and I knew that the day was ending. As I tried to relax on the blanket, I saw another nanny walk towards me. Feeling another sense of shame and embarrassment, I thought ‘What now’?

 

            As she walked over and picked me up, she revealed that it was time for another bottle. I was still tired and I only managed to weakly say “Please, no, that’s not what I want…”

 

            “But baby Cody needs his milky-wilky from his ba-ba to stay healthy!” she remarked with a smile. “Mommy hopes he’ll be a good boy and drink it like he knows he should!”

 

            As she sat down in a rocking chair with me spread across her lap, I decided to swallow my pride rather than get another one of those dreadful shocks. Feeling like a total pansy, I sucked on the bottle while the nanny rocked me back and forth. It actually wasn’t quite as bad as the first time, and since I was already tired, I just kind of relaxed and let the milk flow naturally down my throat. I began to think ‘This isn’t so bad…’

 

            ‘What the hell am I saying?!’ I thought as I caught myself. Here I was, my very first day, and I was already forgetting that I was 14, not some baby who needed bottles. Without thinking, I angrily swatted the bottle out of the nanny’s hand.

 

            This caught her off guard, and I used the chance to crawl away from the horrible woman. But she was too fast for me, and I felt a hand grab the back of the neck of my sleeper. As she lifted me and turned me around, I looked into her angry face as she said, “Well, it looks like Cody is not being a good baby after all. Since his shocks don’t seem to be teaching him a lesson, I think he needs another kind of punishment!”

 

            Scared of what this woman was going to do to me now, I violently struggled to escape from her grasp. But it was no use, and she proceeded to pull my chest down over her knee. As I felt her began to unbutton the back of my sleeper where my butt was, I heard her say, “Naughty Cody needs a spanking to teach him that he should drink all of his bottle like a good baby!”

 

            Realizing what she was about to do, for some reason I felt more embarrassed and angry than I had been up until this point. Maybe it was because my parents had never spanked me, and I thought that they were the only ones who had the right to do it. As the nanny began to un-tape my diaper, I began to struggle with all my strength and scream out at the top of my lungs.

 

            To my surprise my voice was strangely high pitched and I began to feel tears come out of my eyes. The fact that I was unable to move made me feel that much more helpless and the only thing I could think of to do was scream. To make matters worse, this had attracted the attention of the other kids and nannies, and they had all circled around us to watch me get spanked.

 

            I felt my naked butt sticking out, and before I knew it, I felt a painful slap across my butt-cheeks. The slaps continued, each one bringing a second of sharp pain while I continued to violently shriek. Tears continued to stream down my face and I felt my cheeks get hot. The pain wasn’t really that bad, but the embarrassment of knowing I was being punished, especially spanked like a two-year old, made the whole experience unbearable. To make things so much worse, some of the kids were pointing and giggling at me, and the nannies just muttered things like “The naughty baby should know better than to disobey mommy.”

 

            The spanking finally ceased, and because my ass still hurt a little, it felt kinda good to have the soft diaper taped back over it. I finally started to get over the spanking, so I stopped screaming and just softly whimpered. After the nanny refastened my sleeper, she sat me back up on her lap, looked at me and said, “Now did Cody learn his lesson?”

 

            While I still continued to softly sob, I nodded. She then smiled at me, bounced me on her lap a couple of times, pinched my cheek and said, “Now that’s a good baby! I think wittle Cody needs another nap right now!”

 

            I was still upset, so I didn’t really feel like objecting to it. I noticed that the other nannies were picking up all of the other kids in the room and carrying them out of the nursery. My nanny was the last one to leave carrying me over her shoulder, and she turned out the light as she left.

 

            As I continued to sob into her shoulder, she softly patted my back and said “It’s ok, Cody, you’re still a good baby.” This didn’t make me feel better, because I had just gone through the worst part of my stay here. I couldn’t believe that in one day I had gone from a badass thug kid who could whoop just about anyone’s ass to a whimpering little baby in diapers. But this spanking had been the worst; maybe it was just because I had never been spanked before, but I would have much rather been shocked for ten minutes than go through what I had just been through. And to make me feel even worse, I had just made myself look like even more of a baby by throwing a tantrum while I was being spanked. It was almost as if for that moment I had lost control of myself and I couldn’t stop myself from screaming and crying. I probably hadn’t cried since I was about 4 years old, but today it just seemed to keep pouring out.

 

            As the nanny carried me into another room with only cribs in it, I continued to cry softly. She once again laid me down in the crib without any resistance from me, strapped my wrists and ankles again, and tied the pacifier around my head. This stifled my crying a little, and after she tucked me in, the nanny kissed my forehead and said “There, there little Cody, everything will be all right. You just have sweet dreams now, honey.” As she left the room, to my great surprise, this actually made me feel better. As my crying calmed down, the comfort of the crib took over and I once again dozed off to sleep.

 

            As I slept, I had many dreams, most of which I don’t remember. However, I do remember the one that was probably the worst nightmare that I had ever had up to that point in my life.

 

            I dreamt that I was walking down one of the more dangerous streets in my old neighborhood. I was alone, and I bumped into two kids that I had never gotten along with, two kids whom me and my friends constantly fought with. The two kids saw me, and one pushed me and said, “Come on Luke, you fuckin’ bastard, what have you got?” Feeling pissed at him, I said, “All right then bitch, let’s settle this!” as I raised my fists.

 

            But then the two punks just busted out into laughter, and between his laughs, one of them said, “We would, but I can’t hit a kid in a…*snort*…diaper!”

 

            I then looked down at my body, and to my horror, I was wearing nothing but a disposable diaper with a Winnie the Pooh strip along the top of it. Completely embarrassed, I tried to cover it up with my hands with a look of fear, shame, and humiliation on my face.

 

            As the two kids continued to laugh and point at me, I heard the voice of a woman behind me. “Cody,” she said. “What are you doing fighting? You’re being a bad boy, and you have to be punished!”

 

            I turned around only to be face to face with the nanny who had spanked me. Before, I knew it, she sat down in a chair and pulled me over her lap. As I screamed in rage and embarrassment, she spanked my diapered butt while the two kids laughed even harder.

 

            As she finished and let me stand again, I looked down at my diaper and noticed that I was wetting it! As the pee continued to fill my diaper, one of the kids screamed with laughter and yelled, “Looks like ‘Cody’ really does need diapers, he’s pissing himself just like a little baby!”

 

            As I began to cry even more from shame and embarrassment, the nanny said, “It’s ok, wittle Cody, those two are big boys and you’re just a baby! It’s ok for you to go pee pee in your diaper, mommy’s here to change you!”

            

            As she walked towards me with a smile on her face, she had a container of baby powder in one hand and another diaper in the other. She inched closer and closer while I yelled “No! No! I don’t want a diaper change, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy, I’m a big boy…”

 

            I suddenly woke up, and to my surprise, sunlight was coming in through the window. It was morning. I remembered where I was, and even though I was still afraid and upset by the fact that I was in a crib, I was relieved that the dream was over and that it was only a dream.

 

            I then realized something that truly did scare me, though. There was a damp feeling around my crotch. Just like in my dream, I had involuntarily wet my diaper.

 

Part 5

 

            As sunlight poured through the window in this room, I felt even more ashamed that I had pissed in my diaper while I slept, and I began to become scared that I was already losing control of my bladder muscles. But before I could think about it more, I saw another nanny come in. Noticing that I was awake, she said, “Ok, little Cody, it’s time for you to get up! We have to start off today by getting you clean and then you can have some more fun with your friends.”

 

            Just like the other nanny had done before, this woman un-strapped my pacifier, re-pinned it, and then untied me from the crib. As she picked me up, she said. “Looks like someone has a wet didee! That’s ok, mommy will get baby all cleaned up and then he can get a nice clean one!” Feeling my cheeks turn red from the shame of having wet my diaper, I recalled my spanking from the previous night, so I decided to just go along with her. She put me on her hip and carried me out of the room.

 

            She continued to carry me down the hall, and then we entered a new room. I noticed that it was a bathroom, with light blue tile, sinks, some toilets (gasp!), and a few tables with padding, which I assumed were for diaper changes. I also noticed a bathtub that was the size of a typical hot tub.

 

            The nanny put me down on one of the tables and used a strap to tightly tie me down. She then began to run the water into the tub, feeling for the temperature first. She then came back over to me. She first undid the bottom of my sleeper, removed my wet diaper and disposed of it. She then took a baby-wipe from underneath a counter and began to clean my crotch again. I was of course humiliated, but I had realized at this point that resisting was pointless. I just had to lie there waiting for her to finish.

 

            Once I had been wiped, she un-strapped me and completely took off my sleeper. Once I was completely naked, she picked me up and carried me over to the tub, which was just about full. After she turned the water off, she gently lowered me into it.

 

            I was still wearing my collar; I assumed it was waterproof. The water was deep enough that it came up to about my neck. As I was lowered, I felt the water overtake my body; it was just the right temperature, and I actually didn’t mind the feeling of it. In fact, it was kind of nice.

            

            But I couldn’t enjoy it for long, because the nanny then grabbed a wash clothe and some soap. She proceeded to take one of my arms and began to wash and scrub it. My initial reaction was to pull away; I felt like I could clean myself. But she simply remarked, “No no, baby Cody, you don’t know how to get yourself clean, mommy has to clean you. We can’t have you crawling around in a filthy mess, can we? And if you won’t let mommy clean you, perhaps another shock will change your mind?”

 

            The fear of a shock made me once again swallow my pride and give in. However, once the nanny began to clean me, I found that it wasn’t so bad; it was better than being bottle-fed or changed, at least.

 

            She then had me stand up so that she could clean my shoulders, chest, and stomach. I resisted as she got to my dick, balls, and ass; but she just gave me a sharp slap on my ass, which scared me into complying. Once she had finished, she did my legs and feet.

 

            Finally, I sat back down and she poured water over my head. She scrubbed my face, and then took some baby shampoo and ran it through my hair. She smiled as she did this, telling me that my hair was cute. I just shot her a look of resentment as she poured some more water on my head.

 

            “All done!” she remarked as she pulled the plug. She then picked me up and put my soaking body down on a mat. She grabbed a towel and began drying my whole body, finishing with my hair. This wasn’t that bad, but as she carried me back over to the table, I remembered that I still wasn’t dressed, and that I would be put in another diaper.

 

            I just pouted as the nanny strapped me down and powdered me. She took another disposable diaper out, slid it underneath me and taped it on. She then slid a T-shirt over my head; it was white with puppy designs on it. She then grabbed a pair of overalls, slid my legs through them, and fastened them up over my shoulders. She finally put a pair of socks on my feet. I hated the stupid outfit almost as much as my thick diaper, and I wanted to hit her when she told me that I looked adorable.

 

            Calming myself down, I just relaxed as she un-strapped me and carried me out of the bathroom. We once again went to the nursery, and yet again I was left by myself on the carpeted floor of the nursery.

 

            As I once again relaxed down on my back, I tried to make my mind think of something positive. But the only thing I could think about was my horrible situation, the horrible spanking I had gotten, and my scary dream. Despite all of this, after I had just laid there for about half an hour, I began to get bored. As I looked around the room, I noticed some toy cars and some blocks nearby.

 

            I just looked at them for a few minutes, and even though I didn’t want to actively lower my dignity even more, my boredom got the best of me. I crawled over to the cars and picked one up.

 

            It was actually kind of interesting; I had always liked cars as a kid. I put it down on the carpet and rolled it; it went forward a few feet before stopping. I then grabbed another and did the same. Next I took two and found out which one went farther. Next I tried ramming two together. Before I knew it, I was imagining people inside the cars and I invented situations for the people to be in.

 

            As my mind continued to work, I took some blocks and made a few small structures and tunnels. I rolled the cars around the structures, pretending they were buildings. I shot the cars through the tunnels to see if I could do it without knocking them over. This was actually kind of fucking fun. These cars were surprisingly addictive, and I was kind of in a zone seeing all of the different things I could do with them…

 

            “Having fun?” said a familiar sarcastic voice from behind me.

 

            I jumped in surprise from this question, and then I quickly knocked over the little block buildings that I had made. Feeling embarrassed, I turned around to see Johnny giving me a sly smile. This time he was only wearing a blue and green striped T-shirt with his cloth diaper and plastic pants.

 

            “No! You see, I was…just…uh…” I began.

 

            But he put up a hand and said, “Kid, it’s all right. It’s like I told you, you get bored here fast. And hey, the toys here ain’t bad. I’m sure you remember playing with similar ones as a young child, am I right?”

 

            He was right, but I didn’t want to let him know it. “No, it wasn’t fun, I was just doing it to pass the time.”

 

            “Whatever you say,” he said, sounding like he didn’t believe me at all. “But even if you’re not enjoying it now, in time you will.”

 

            Still frustrated by the fact that I believed what he was saying was true, especially since I had started to have fun with the cars, I tried to change the subject. Remembering that I wanted to ask Johnny how in the hell this whole thing was legal, I decided to ask.

 

            “Hey Johnny, I was wondering, how is this whole program run? I mean, isn’t it illegal?”

 

            Johnny just laughed at my question and said, “My friend, not only is it legal, but it is government funded. Well, according to official, constitutional law, it may not be legal. But the U.S. government gets away with all kinds of crazy stuff. I don’t even want to know about all of the things they do that I don’t know about.

 

            “If you don’t believe me pal, think about it. This program was started ten years ago, I kid you not. And you’ve never heard about it, have you? And you don’t know anyone who has, do you? That, my friend, is how good the government is about keeping things hidden.

 

            “I guess they’re willing to try anything to straighten out the troubled youth of America. They’ve tried everything else, right? That silly ‘Say No to Drugs’ campaign, a fat lot of help that did. And almost everything else they’ve tried has failed. Why not give ‘Reconstruction’ a chance?

            

            “Besides, this gives the government a chance to test new technologies.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “That collar around your neck, for one,” he responded. “Government technology, that is. And who better to test it on than no-good little vermin like us, right?

 

            “But there are other technological advancements here as well. Take our pacifiers, for instance,” he said, taking his own pacifier and holding it up towards me. “Normally, if kids our age continued to suck pacifiers as frequently as we do, our teeth would be horribly messed up. But that doesn’t happen with these things. I don’t know how they work, but they actually make our teeth even stronger.”

 

            “No way,” I said. “No freakin’ way that’s possible.”

 

            “You mean to tell me you have no problem accepting that there is a collar around your neck that can sense when you say a naughty word, but a pacifier that won’t mess up your teeth is out of this world?”

 

            “Oh, yeah,” I said. “I guess you’re right.”

 

            “There are other things too. Our clothes and blankets keep us warm but don’t make us too hot, so we don’t sweat, especially at night. Plus if you notice, you don’t sweat in your diaper either.

 

            “On top of that, you may be wondering how teenage boys can survive on just baby-bottles and baby food. Well, that ain’t no normal milk you’ve been drinkin’. That stuff not only gives you the nutrients you need, but it fills you up too. You’ve been here a full day, with only a couple of bottles, and you don’t feel hungry, do you? Amazing, but true.

 

            “And there’s a method to this madness. They know how much food or milk they’ve given you, and they also know when your body will process it and you’ll become hungry again. You see, so far they’ve just given you bottles when they feel like it; for some reason they decide to be nice on the first few days. But soon they’ll wait for you to get hungry; believe me, they’ll know. And if you don’t cry, they’ll shock you until you do. By controlling the amount of milk or baby-food that you get, they’ll know when it’s time for you to be hungry, and they’ll know when to expect you to cry. This way, they can condition you to cry automatically whenever you get hungry.”

 

            “Wow, I didn’t even think about that, I haven’t even been hungry since I’ve been here…” I responded.

 

            “Yeah, well, soon they’ll time your feedings to make you hungry. Speaking of which, I’m famished, and I think I have a feeding right now. Care to join me?”

 

            “I’ll pass,” I said, not having the slightest desire to be fed again.

 

            “Ok, then,” he said. “Here I go.”

 

            With that, he once again burst into a fit of crying, making a high pitched squeal that sounded like it could have woken the dead. Within seconds, a nanny came over and picked Johnny up. She apparently could tell that it was his time to be fed, because I heard her say, “It’s ok, Johnny, mommy knows you’re hungry, and we have some yummy num-nums for you.”

 

            ‘Yummy num-nums?’ I thought. Could the woman be any more stupid?

 

            I didn’t get a chance to ponder it, because at that moment another nanny picked me up, held me up to her face and said, “And I think wittle Cody needs his num-nums too! He and Johnny can eat together!”

 

            Looks like I would be joining Johnny after all. As the nanny carrying me followed the one carrying Johnny (he was still crying, only not as hard), I once again tried to break free, but like before, it was no use. This was the last thing I wanted right now, but I couldn’t do anything about it as the two nannies carried us over to two high chairs that were next to a table.

 

            As Johnny’s nanny put him in his high chair, mine began to put me in mine. I tried to time it right so that I could escape while she was putting me in it, but she was too fast; she must have done it to resistant kids many times. She quickly sat me down and dropped this little table thing attached to the high chair down in front of me. This not only gave me a place to eat (not that I needed it, but I guess babies do), but more importantly to the nanny, it pinned my arms down, so all I could do was make a pointless struggle. As I grunted, shifted, and kicked my legs, the nanny just smiled at me, pinched my cheek, and said to Johnny’s nanny, “Cody is so cute, isn’t he? He’s being fussy and trying to get out of his high chair, but it’s time for his breakfast.”

 

            The nanny then tied something around my neck; I looked down and saw that I was now wearing a bib. This made me struggle even more, but there was nothing I could do about it.

 

            I looked over at Johnny, who had stopped crying. His arms weren’t pinned down, but he was wearing a bib and he was giggling. He then said in a babyish voice, “Mommy, me a big boy! Me feed me, me not need you to give me food with spoon!”

 

            Johnny’s nanny just smiled at him and said, “That’s right, Johnny! But your new friend Cody isn’t a big boy yet, he’s only a baby, and the other mommy has to spoon-feed him!”

 

            This of course pissed me off. Johnny didn’t help matters by looking at me and saying, “You a baby! But one day you be big wike me!”

 

            I just scowled at him while the two nannies brought out some baby food. Johnny’s nanny gave him this little bowl of cereal and milk (although it looked a little mushier than cereal). My nanny, on the other hand, had brought out two small jars of baby food. One looked like it had some kind of fruit, the other looked like carrots.

 

            After she opened the fruit jar, my nanny put some of it on a spoon, and began to move it towards my mouth. But I tightly closed my lips, shook my head and said “Un-uh!” (although it came out as “mmm-mmn!” since my lips were closed.

 

            The nanny sighed and said, “Oh Cody, why can’t you be a good boy like Johnny?”

 

            I looked over at Johnny and saw him holding a spoon like a little kid. He was making a bit of a mess, but he was managing to feed himself his cereal. At that moment, I felt a cold, sweet feeling in my mouth; my nanny had used the opportunity to shove the spoon into my mouth.

 

            It was disgusting; well, not really, now that I think about it. The fruit tasted pretty good; I think it was peaches. But when you’re force-fed something, it makes it taste twenty times worse.

 

            Because of this, I spit it right back out. But since I couldn’t do anything with my arms, it kind of dribbled down my chin and onto my bib and the little table in front of me.

 

            The nanny sighed again and said, “Cody, you’re making such a mess. Let’s try again.”

 

            Before I could resist, another spoonful had gone into my mouth. But I spit this out too, and the mess was even bigger. I guess that I probably did look like a real baby, what with my body in a high chair, a bib around my neck, and baby food all over my face and bib.

 

            Now the nanny began to get frustrated. In a tense voice she said, “All right then, mister, we’ll find a way to make you eat.”

 

            With that, she shocked me for three minutes. It had been a while since I had received one, and I had forgotten how horrible the pain was. This was even worse because my arms were pinned down.

 

            After the shock, my head just kind of limply leaned forward. The nanny then lifted my head up, and with a satisfied smile, used her other hand to feed me another spoonful.

 

            Even though I was too weak to do much, I probably could have spit that out too. But before I did, the nanny gave me an angry look and said, “Now you swallow that, or you’ll get another shock. And if that’s not enough, maybe you need to be spanked again!”

 

            This straightened me out. As much as I didn’t want to, I swallowed the peaches in my mouth. As she continued to feed me the rest, I didn’t bother to fight it. The carrots were a little nastier, but I ate them without resistance as well.

 

            By this point Johnny had finished as well. After the nanny used my bib to wipe my face clean, she lifted the table thingy and picked me up. The two nannies picked us back up and carried us to where we were before. Once they were gone, Johnny spoke to me.

 

            “You made that harder than it had to be, you know.”

 

            “Damn it!” I said, and got another shock.

 

            “And you were doing so well on your cursing, too.”

 

            “Shut up!” I said, but this also gave me a shock. Apparently it wasn’t just curse words that made my collar shock me.

 

            After I recovered, I said, “Anyway, darn it, I can’t stand this. What else am I supposed to do?”

 

            “Just relax, man. I think I’m beginning to figure you out. Now did I hear your nanny right? Did she say ‘spank you AGAIN’?”

 

            Remembering my spanking with a shot of shame, I mumbled, “Yeah, that’s right. Yesterday I got spanked.”

 

            But Johnny just looked at me in awe. “Wow, man, that’s amazing! This is really ground-breaking!”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “My friend, I don’t think I have EVER seen a kid get spanked on their first day. Do you realize, my friend, what that means? You are the fastest kid to reach the first level of punishment!”

 

            Not really seeing what was so great about this, I said, “So what?”

 

            “Cody, think about it. I told you that if the shocking doesn’t seem to work, the nannies will resort to levels of punishment. Spanking is the first. You must have really done something to get under her skin to make her decide to spank you rather than shock you. I heard that a kid had been spanked yesterday, but I just assumed it had been one of the already decoded kids. You see, they use spanking as a punishment for decoding, but they also just do it to decoded kids to discipline them. After all, even babies aren’t perfect and need to be kept in line. But I would have never thought it was you! First day, wow…”

 

            He then paused, grinned at me and said, “From what I hear you threw quite a tantrum, too.”

 

            “Fuck you!” I yelled and received a shock. After I recovered, I said, “It’s not funny!”

 

            “But this is my point, my friend. It’s starting to make sense to me.”

 

            “What is?” I asked.

 

            “I think I’ve figured out your problem. It’s pride. Being here is the worst punishment imaginable for you. I think you’d rather get shot than have a diaper put on you. You’re so used to physical pain and ‘being a man’ and all, but when you’re treated like a baby, you can’t stand it!

 

            “That’s why you cried on your first day; your pride had been hurt beyond anything you had ever experienced. And that’s why you not only managed to get spanked on your first day, but you threw a wild tantrum when it happened. And even after a full day here, you’re still fighting every chance you get.”

 

            “Yeah, so what?” I asked.

 

            “It’s just interesting, that’s all,” he replied. “I’ve seen ones like you, although you seem to be different. First day spanking, wow…”

 

            We were both silent for about a minute. I then remembered that Johnny didn’t have to be spoon-fed; he got to eat by himself.

 

            “Hey, why didn’t you have to be spoon-fed? I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I had been allowed to feed myself!”

 

            Johnny then said, “Well, because I’ve earned it. If you noticed, I could also talk baby talk, unlike the newly decoded kids here. I can do quite a few things, actually; I can walk, play active games, and drink from a sippy cup, among other things. I would walk around instead of crawl, but it tends to upset the other kids.”

 

            “Wait, you’re losing me,” I said.

 

            “Ok, let me explain. I told you about the decoding process, right? You start with a bad kid, turn him into a helpless baby. But if the reconstruction process stopped there, it would be kinda pointless, right? Not much good to have a bunch of big ol’ babies everywhere.

 

            “After they decode you, they begin to re-teach you everything that at one time you learned. It’s kind of weird because they don’t do it in the same order as they would a real baby, exactly.

 

            “You see, a decoded kid gets bottle-fed and spoon-fed. He wears diapers and baby clothes, sleeps in a crib for about sixteen hours a day, can only crawl, has to suck a pacifier often, and gets much joy from simple things like teddy bears and blankets. He can’t really understand stories or play games, and the simplest toys amuse him. He can only speak gibberish, and he’ll probably never remember anything from this point in the process.

 

            “You probably don’t know anything about real babies, but this isn’t exactly a stage in a real baby’s life. Kids can be off the bottle before they learn to crawl, and kids that can talk don’t need sixteen hours of sleep a day. Plus, they’re often encouraged to crawl rather than be carried everywhere like we are. Nonetheless, this is the way that kids start out once they are fully decoded.

 

            “When this program first started, they didn’t really know what they were doing. They first tried to decode kids to be infants; the kids pretty much couldn’t do anything. Problem is, the collars shocked the kids if they did anything but roll over; this actually drove a few kids mentally insane. Their parents got a refund, but since this was a risk in the contract, the parents couldn’t do anything about it legally. The developers decided they would bring the kids back to crawling but that’s as far as they went physically.

 

            “Anyway, they’ve refined their process, and this is the way a decoded kid starts. From there, they begin to help the kid make progress and grow, both mentally and physically, although it’s not really in the same order as real babies. They upgrade kids to sippy cups and let them feed themselves rather than be spoon-fed. While this is happening, they also start encouraging kids to crawl faster, begin to form words, and actively listen to stories. Soon after, they begin to play with more complex toys. They limit the amount that the kids sleep. They try to get kids not to cry as much, but rather to ask when they’re hungry or wet. In addition, they teach the kids to walk and play more active games. I, for instance, have been through all of these phases.”

 

            “But you never were decoded, were you?” I asked.

 

            “Well, not really, but I still had to go through these phases.”

 

            “You’re confusing me,” I said.

 

            “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you at some point. I am a very unique case.

 

            “Anyway, it’s actually quite funny to watch the kids ‘grow up’. As kids progress, they start to gain confidence, and they begin to see themselves as ‘big boys’ rather than the newly decoded ‘babies’. That’s why I made that little comment while we were being fed; it’s what the nannies expect to hear.

 

            “I’m pretty far along the process. I’ve done all of this, plus I normally don’t sleep in a crib. Once I’m completely out of the crib, the last thing to do here is potty-train me. They do that last; I think they did a study that kids who are potty-trained earlier are more likely to become delinquents. Anyway, once that happens, it’ll be time for me to move on.”

 

            “Move on to where?” I asked.

 

            “Well, it takes about three years typically for a kid to go from being a decoded baby to a potty-trained kid. Once that’s done, the kids leave this place and go to a new one. From there they continue to be re-taught skills that kids have to learn; you know, they learn to read, play sports, all the sort of stuff you learn when you’re a kid. They continue to build you up more and more until you’re basically an 18 year old. You have to move around about every time you’re trained five years worth of new stuff.

 

            “What’s really smart about the program is that it doesn’t take as long; it won’t take 18 years to go from being a newly decoded baby to someone who’s experienced everything an 18 year old has. It only takes about six years to go from a kid who’s been potty-trained to an 18 year old. This works because most of the stuff the kids never truly forgot. When you’re decoded, the teenage parts of you are just hidden deep down inside of you; they’re not gone. So when they re-teach it to you, it just has to be dug out.

 

            “It also goes faster because these are all residential places. Kids are constantly in an atmosphere where they’re learning new school material, playing sports, or developing socially.

 

            “But what’s really genius about the system is the fact that they don’t just re-train kids in any old way. Before the program started, they did some studies, and they found that kids that tend to be thugs like us when they become teenagers typically lacked two important things growing up; affection and discipline.

 

            “If you notice, even at this early stage, the nannies are very loving, yet strict. They are not afraid to spank kids to teach them discipline from this early point. But they also constantly let the kids know they are loved.

 

            “All of this may sound crazy, but my friend, it apparently works. This program got started up ten years ago, so once they got the kinks out of the system, they began to put kids through the process. Since it takes about nine years for a decoded kid to become an 18 year old, a few kids have been through the whole system. And from what I hear, not only are they not delinquents any more, but they are very happy and successful citizens.”

 

            “I still don’t believe this stupid system works,” I said. “Hey, wait a sec, you still suck a pacifier!”

 

            “Oh yeah, well, you see, funnily enough, even when kids are potty-trained and ready to move on and leave this place, they still suck pacifiers. They do try to get kids off of pacifiers when they’re about the age of a five year old, but until then, they say pacifiers are very therapeutic.

 

            “The kids also are still very attached to their teddy bears or blankies when they leave here. You see, most kids that become delinquent teenagers were highly discouraged from having stuffed animals or blankets when they were younger. The developers of this program believe that kids should feel it’s ok to still have these things, and that they’ll get tired of them when they are ready. This way, the kids get to feel the love and affection that they missed out on growing up. Plus, they let kids know it’s ok to cry; they make sure the kids aren’t spoiled and don’t whine for over little things, but they encourage kids to cry when they’re truly upset about something”

 

            When Johnny told me this, believe it or not, it really hit me as true. I remembered back to when I was really little, probably about three years old. I had a teddy bear that I really liked, and I carried it around everywhere with me. But my dad told me that only wussies and sissies had teddy bears or blankies, and he took it away from me. I had cried, but my dad just told me to stop being a baby about it. After a while I forgot about it and moved on. But now that I thought about it, ever since then, I hadn’t cried and I’ve had a strong desire to be tough and not be a wussy. Maybe Johnny was on to something; maybe I did have a lot of pride that was built into me.

 

            Johnny then decided to tell me about some thing about babies in general. He told me the difference between cloth and disposable diapers, and he explained what plastic pants were and why they were necessary for cloth diapers. I learned what a onesie and a footed sleeper were, and he told me about other baby clothing too.

 

            As Johnny and I talked, I felt continued pressure in my stomach. In the middle of our conversation, I had realized that I needed to take a shit. I had tried to ignore it and just hold it up until this point, but it had just gotten harder and harder. Not only was I extremely embarrassed to shit myself, I really didn’t want to do it in front of Johnny. But it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t help it. As Johnny was describing the different ways the nannies would hold or carry the kids, I tried to push it out without letting Johnny know. It was very difficult, but after a few minutes, I felt a turd come out of my butt and into my diaper.

 

            It was horrible and disgusting. My diaper pushed the shit up against my ass, and I could feel it smearing all over. It became worse since my ass was against the floor, and since I didn’t want to attract Johnny’s attention, I just sat there and tried to shift a little bit, which only made it smear against my ass even more.

 

            Johnny hadn’t noticed, however and he just continued to talk. However, we were soon interrupted by a new kid who just crawled over. He was wearing a light blue onesie with bunnies on it, and I noticed that etched across his onesie was the name “Baby Ronnie”. He had curly brown hair and looked to be about 12 in real life.

 

            “Hi Johnny!” he said as he excitedly waved to Johnny. He then looked over at me, looked back at Johnny and asked, “Who dat?”

 

            Surprisingly Johnny answered him back in baby talk. “Hi Wonnie. Dis Cody. He a baby, not big boys wike us.”

 

            As the two of them said this, I began to smell the mess in my diaper. It was really bad, worse than my farts, which could kill plants by themselves.

 

            Ronnie then looked at me and said, “Oh. Hi wittle baby. You not big wike me.”

 

            I didn’t like this kid, what he said embarrassed me a little , and he was starting to piss me off. But before I could think of anything to say to him, I saw him sniff for a big, and he truly pissed me off and embarrassed me by smiling at me and saying,

 

            “You smell wike poop. You go poopy in your diapy!”

 

            I felt my cheeks go red as I looked at Johnny. He just smiled and said, “You wight, Wonnie! Cody make poopy!”

 

            As I just looked at the two of them in shock, Ronnie said, “You need a new diapa. You poopy. Why you not cwying?”

 

            Johnny then said, “Maybe he not know how.”

 

            Ronnie just smiled and said, “That otay. Me get nanny!”

 

            Before I could tell him “no”, Ronnie turned and yelled, “WITTLE BABY CODY MAKE BIG POOPY! HE SMELL WIKE POOP! HE NEED NEW DIAPY!”

 

            I heard a few of the kids in the room giggle at this, and a couple of them were even pointing at me. I was about to jump on the stupid kid and punch him, but before I could a nanny was walking over towards me.

 

            She picked me up and said, “Whoo, you’re right Ronnie, we have a messy baby right here, don’t we? Thank you for helping the baby out, Ronnie, that was very nice of you. Especially since he didn’t CRY like he should,” she added, giving me a sharp look.

 

            Still embarrassed, I didn’t say anything as Ronnie held his nose and said, “Mommy, change da smelly baby. He smell wike poop!”

 

            As the other kids continued to laugh, I felt like crawling up inside a cave and dying. Hiding my face in the nanny’s shoulder, I began to cry again.

 

            “Yes, he does,” she replied. She then looked at me and said in a sweet voice, “It’s ok, Cody. Did wittle Cody-wody make a stinky-winky? Mommy will change baby Cody into a new diaper, then he’ll stop crying.”

 

            I still had my head buried in her shoulder as she carried me over to a changing table. I was still crying in embarrassment as she strapped me down. The nanny then said, “It’s ok, Cody. Here,” she said as she put my pacifier in my mouth. “That should calm you down.”

 

            I didn’t want to make her mad, so I just sucked on the pacifier, which turned my cries into soft whimpers. She undid my overalls and pulled down my pants. I probably would have tried to fight her, but to tell the truth, I wanted to get out of my shit-filled diaper as soon as possible. As she un-taped my diaper, the smell of it became stronger; it really was quite nasty. To make things worse, I could tell that a lot of it was still stuck against my skin.

 

            This of course prompted the nanny to once again go, “Whoo, you sure did make a big poopy, didn’t you Cody?” I was once again felt embarrassed, but didn’t have the energy or effort to do anything about it. I just tried to get my mind on something else as I sucked my pacifier.

 

            The nanny got out some baby wipes and began to clean all of the shit off of me. Despite the coldness of the wipes, I had to admit that I was glad to get all of the shit off of me. As she worked, the nanny cooed to me and talked baby talk, apparently trying to cheer me up. I did calm down, but not because of what she said. After cleaning my front, she lifted my legs up and cleaned my whole ass, including my crack. Once she was done, she once again powdered me, and then took out a new diaper and fastened it around my waist. Before she put my overalls back on, she rubbed my stomach and then chucked my chin. Finally, she refastened my overalls, un-strapped me, picked me up again, smiled at me, and said, “Now Cody is all fresh and clean in a new diaper!”

 

            I was still sucking my pacifier, but I had stopped crying. The nanny carried me back over to where Johnny was, and thankfully, Ronnie had left.

 

            As she sat me down and left, I spit the pacifier out and just gave Johnny a look of anger.

 

            “Why did you go along with that stupid kid?!” I asked.

 

            “Calm down, buddy,” he said. “There’s no way I’m gonna blow my cover by talking normal in front of the kids who can talk. And I just acted like any two year old would.”

 

            “Whatever,” I said, still feeling embarrassed about the whole thing.

 

            “You know,” Johnny began. “You take things to seriously, Cody. You’d be much happier if you didn’t act like being treated like a baby was such a big deal.”

 

            “It is a big deal!” I said. “I’m fourteen, and it’s completely humiliating to be degraded and treated just like I was two! I’m not a baby anymore!”

 

            “You think I don’t know how humiliating it is?” he asked. “Come on, I have seen many, many thug like kids come through here, and every single one is very embarrassed. But you’re just making things harder on yourself by letting it get to you.”

 

            “So what am I supposed to do?” I asked. “Just give up and let them make me a baby again?”

 

            “I don’t care what you do,” he said. “But if you don’t let the whole thing get to you, you can still fight the system. In fact, the kids who resist the decoding process for the longest are the ones who stay calm and keep a cool head about all of this. They can think more clearly. By panicking and throwing fits, you’re just making things worse for yourself, and you will be more and more enticed to give in and accept you baby role.”

 

            I guessed that this made sense, but I still had a hard time with it. Nonetheless, I resolved to try to take Johnny’s advice and try to relax about the whole thing. That would probably be the only way I could figure out how to escape this place.

 

            I then thought about something. Johnny and I had been having these long conversations, but the nannies had never interrupted us, and they apparently had no idea that Johnny was faking and putting up a baby act.

 

            “Johnny, how have we been able to get away with these conversations without the nannies finding out?”

 

            “That’s a good question. Well, you see, when this program first started, the nannies were a lot stricter. They kept a very tight eye on all of the kids, making sure that they never talked to each other. Well, except at night. If you notice, the nannies just leave the kids alone in their cribs at night. Most of the nannies go home every evening, since they can just strap down kids into the cribs. But over the years the nannies have gotten more lax about their jobs.

 

            “Realizing that as soon as kids were decoded they could only speak gibberish, they stopped keeping a close watch on the kids while they played in the nursery. Unless they notice two kids fighting or one starts to cry, they just think we’re talking to each other in baby-talk. I have to keep my eye out for nannies, but they just think I’m talking to you in baby-talk right now, since that’s all I speak whenever I’m around them. There have been a few close calls, but as far as I know, they just think I’m decoded like all the rest of them.

 

            “And that’s how I’ve been able to pick up all of the information I know. The nannies constantly talk to each other about everything. Often, while they’re changing diapers or rocking kids to sleep, they’ll have conversations with each other. They don’t care since they know that the decoded kids have no idea what they’re talking about. However, I can understand everything they say, and over the years, I’ve picked up on all kinds of things, such as how this program works and all of the details about it. And that’s how I heard about you getting spanked; I didn’t know it was you, but I heard two of the nannies remarking how a kid had gotten spanked and thrown a huge tantrum over it.

 

            “So how have you been able to keep the nannies tricked for all this time?”

 

            “I’ll tell you later, kid,” he said. “When I think you’re ready, I’ll tell you all about my past here and how I’ve been able to keep my mind while everyone else has become babies.”

 

            I was frustrated because he wouldn’t tell me how he had fought the system, but I didn’t decide to pursue the subject. Johnny was apparently tired of talking too, because he then said, “Well, kid, I think that’s enough for today. My advice to you is to just chill out and keep a clear head about all of this.

 

            “Oh yeah, and one more thing. I suggest you only speak gibberish around the nannies. If they keep hearing you talk English, they’ll eventually program your collar to shock you when ever you say any real word, not just curse words. But if you just act like you can only speak gibberish, they won’t bother to switch your collar. If nothing else, by fooling them you’ll give me someone to talk to.”

 

            With that he stood up and walked over to a nanny. After saying a few words to her (which I’m sure were in baby-talk), she grabbed him by the wrist and calmly led him out of the room.

 

Part 6

 

            Once Johnny had left, I yet again noticed that I had to piss. I painfully realized that there was no use in holding it, so I reluctantly decided to just wet my diaper. It still took me a little while to get it out, but once again I pissed myself, feeling the warm liquid up against my body inside the diaper. As much as I hated it, I decided that I would just deal with it until a nanny came over to change me.

 

            This ended up happening sooner rather than later, because after about ten minutes, one of the nannies came over, picked me up and said, “Ok, little Cody, it’s time for your nap…”

 

            She then paused for a second and asked, “Now Cody, are you wet?”

 

            I don’t know why the stupid woman asked; she obviously already knew the truth. But it’s just like when your parents already know you’ve done something wrong but like idiots they ask anyway.

 

            I didn’t answer her, since I didn’t want to tell her that I had pissed myself. She didn’t care, anyway; she just continued on. “Cody, you know that when you wet your diaper, you need to cry to let mommy know. That way she can change you into a nice, clean diaper! So mommy won’t change you until you cry.”

 

            With that, she put me back down on the floor, crossed her arms and waited while she stared at me.

            

            I wasn’t going to lower my dignity or give the stupid bitch the pleasure of seeing me cry. I just sat there and stared at her with anger. After about thirty seconds, she said, “Cody, you know what happens when you be a bad baby. Now you cry right now or you will be punished.”

 

            Maybe I had already forgotten what it was like to be shocked or spanked, but either way, this threat didn’t scare me. I just sat there and continued to look up at her, not moving at all.

 

            After I refused to cry, the nanny once again touched her wrist and gave me a shock. It was only thirty seconds; this was enough to make me yell in pain and suffer agony, but not long enough to weaken my body.

 

            When it was over, she looked at me and said, “Well?”

 

            Even though the pain had been ungodly, my pride was still intact. Feeling even more angry at her, I still remained silent.

 

            She looked angry, and again she shocked me. She let it go for about two minutes, which was pure hell (especially on top of the earlier shock). It had hurt so much that there were tears in my eyes, and when it was over, my body was too weak to move.

 

            Once I had regained my strength, she once again looked at me expectedly (apparently my tears didn’t constitute crying). As much as I dreaded being tortured again, I still refused to cry; I don’t know why, but I got pleasure out of rebelling against her, even if it meant suffering so badly. Besides, making myself cry would be voluntarily acting like a baby, which I had absolutely no desire to do.

 

            She tried one more time, this time shocking me for about four minutes. But despite the horrible pain and weakness of my muscles, I once again defied her and stayed quiet. I almost felt like I was testing her.

 

            Realizing that the shocking wasn’t working, the nanny then said, “Fine. If you won’t cooperate, then we will have to punish you another way.”

 

            She quickly grabbed me and thrust me over her knee like the other nanny had the day before. While holding me in place with one hand, I felt her use her other one to unfasten the straps of my overalls and pull my pants down.

 

            I begin to feel my cheeks redden as I felt the air on my thighs, since only my diaper was showing now. I was filled with humiliation again, and as panic began to overtake me, I decided I would much rather cry than get another spanking (I would be degraded either way, and crying would be less painful and embarrassing).

 

            I then said, “Ok, ok, I’ll cry, please don’t spank me!”

 

            But the nanny proceeded to un-tape my diaper. As she did so, she said to me, “Now that’s more like it. But to make sure you learn your lesson, you’re going to get spanked before that.”

 

            As I became even more panicked, I tried to struggle and escape from the nanny. But she firmly held me in place, and I felt my naked ass being exposed. To make matters that much worse, I heard the nanny yell, “Everyone, listen up! Cody has been a bad baby, and he’s going to be spanked!”

 

            I could see kids all around me stop whatever they were doing and crawl over with smiles on their faces. Apparently they found it funny whenever a kid got spanked, especially a really bad one like me.

 

            As I felt the slaps come across my ass, I began to cry in embarrassment. I was able to keep myself from screaming and making a fit like the last time, but I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I felt even worse when I heard the laughter of the other kids.

 

            After about ten slaps, the nanny refastened my diaper and put my overalls back on. The other kids kept watching, however, as the nanny placed me on the floor and waited.

 

            I was still softly crying, and I had hoped this would be enough to get me changed. But the nanny kept looking at and continued to wait. As much as I didn’t want to, I let out a soft whimper, hoping this would be enough.

 

            As the other kids continued to giggle, the nanny looked at me and said, “That’s not a very big cry for such a big baby! I think you can be louder than that.”

 

            Feeling even worse, I just wanted the whole thing to be over, so I made myself let out a high pitched howl. Once I started, I decided to keep going, since it would be hard to start again. This seemed to satisfy the nanny, who then picked me up and began to pat my back to comfort me.

 

            The other kids lost interest at this, so they went back to what they were doing. I decided to continue to cry to make sure I didn’t get punished again, and I didn’t stop until the nanny had carried me over to a changing table and strapped me down. It was actually the nanny who made me stop crying, because while my eyes were shut and my mouth was wide open I felt her stuff my pacifier into my mouth, which muffled my yells. I took this as a sign that I could stop, but I was still recovering from the whole situation, so I softly whimpered as my tear kept coming slowly. I just tried not to watch as I felt the nanny remove my wet diaper, wipe me, powder me, and put a new disposable on me. By the time she was done, I had stopped crying, though I still had the pacifier in my mouth. Not feeling a need to fight anymore, I didn’t do anything as she dressed me again, picked me up and carried me out of the nursery. I was once again taken to another room and strapped down in a crib for a nap. You would think that I would have been so worn out that I would have gone right to sleep. But I wasn’t used to sixteen hours of sleep a day, and I laid there awake for about an hour and a half, thinking about how much I hated being here and being frustrated about my helplessness.

 

            I finally remembered Johnny’s advice about not letting everything get to me so much. As hard as it was, I made myself calm down and stop thinking about all of my baby treatment. This relaxed me, and within minutes, I was asleep.

 

            After I slept for a few hours, I was woken up by a nanny (thankfully I woke up dry). Seeing no point in fighting, especially since I was still tired, I just let her take me back to the nursery with no resistance. Once there, I simply began to think. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Johnny was right; given my situation and the likeliness that it would not change for a long time, there really was no point in getting all worked up about everything. I decided that it would be best for me to just relax and refuse to get bothered by my whole baby treatment.

 

            Thankfully, it wasn’t too hard to keep this attitude up. Over the next few days, I managed to stay calm while the nannies continued to baby me. I guess part of the reason I was able to keep my composure was that I was over the shock of it all, and even though I had been there less than a week, I was starting to get used to it. You may be surprised to hear it, but after you’ve wet a diaper a few times, you don’t really feel embarrassed about it anymore, especially since the nannies and the other kids thought it was completely normal.

 

            And let’s face it, I had already been through every thing that they had thrown at me; over the next few days I had a basic schedule down; it boiled down to being given a bath (although they also did things to groom me, such as brush my teeth and my hair), being bottle-fed or spoon fed, having to suck a pacifier while I took naps, and having my wet or dirty diapers changed. I had to swallow my pride, but I managed to get through it without giving it much of a second thought. In fact, I started to get used to it, and it none of it was really that big of a deal.

 

            I worried a little that this may lead to me being decoded, but since I still had my normal mind (and the desire not to be turned into a baby), I didn’t worry too much.

 

            Although not everything was easy. Firstly, whenever I had to take a shit, it came out in a disgusting new form. The first few time it was just like it had always been, somewhat solid; I guess this was my normal food. But a few days of just milk and baby food, my shit started coming out in a kind of paste-like form, almost like peanut butter. I know it sounds very nasty, but at least you didn’t have to deal with it squishing up against your ass in a diaper, and I had to.

 

            I also had to make myself cry whenever I was hungry or needed to be changed. I hated it, but since it was what the nannies expected, it wasn’t really embarrassing anymore, just a little stupid. Besides, at least this way I avoided shocks and spankings.

 

            I also took Johnny’s advice and refrained from talking around the nannies. I even forced myself to make some babyish gurgles. This seemed to satisfy the nannies, and I began to notice that the more I cooperated and acted like a baby, the nicer they were to me. And this way I could make them think that I was being decoded just like normal.

 

            I didn’t see Johnny over the next few days; I didn’t know where he was, but he was never in the nursery with me, I even searched for him a few times. Even though I often got desires to talk with him, I felt confident in my abilities to stay calm and fool the nannies to a degree.

 

            The more I thought about it, the more I realized how lucky that I had actually had Johnny to talk to me and give me the advice about staying calm. If I hadn’t ever talked to him, I would have probably gone insane and just given in to the baby treatment.

 

            Anyway, there was one thing worse than my shit, my crying, my lack of talking, and Johnny’s absence, and that was the boredom. You have no idea how frustrating it was not to be able to do anything fun for days at a time. Having no other option, I once again resorted to playing with the cars on a few occasions. The cars and the blocks were really the only toys that were remotely interesting to me (though I will admit that I tried many different toys, that’s how desperate I was).

 

            I also tried listening to some of the stories. The nannies wouldn’t let me read them myself, so I had to listen like every one else. Yeah, they were stupid and not really entertaining, but they weren’t exactly boring either, and they helped to pass the time.

 

            Anyway, after about a week (it was damn hard to keep track of time), something horrible happened; I wet my diaper without even trying to. I really hated this; I had trusted Johnny’s prediction and was alarmed that I was already losing control.

 

            But here’s the worst part; once I realized I was wet, without thinking, I automatically let out a whine, just like a baby. After about two seconds I realized what I was doing and clapped my hands over my mouth. I couldn’t believe it; without meaning to, I had whined just like a stupid baby because I had a wet diaper.

 

            My cry still managed to attract a nanny over, and she proceeded to take me over to a changing table to change my diaper. This had actually been the fourth time that day that I needed a diaper change, and while I was being changed, the nanny remarked with a smile, “Wow, Cody, you sure go through a lot of diapers! You know, I think we had better switch you over to cloth. Besides, you’re such a heavy wetter!”

 

            I was pissed and embarrassed by these remarks, and I didn’t have the slightest desire to start wearing cloth diapers. But I had been doing such a good job at keeping calm and making the nannies happy that I just accepted the predicament.

 

            Once I was wiped and powdered, the nanny took out a white cloth diaper, folded it in a certain way, and put it under my ass. She pulled it tightly through my legs and over my waist, and she held two large safety pins (diaper pins, I guessed), between her lips while she did so. She then held the diaper in place on my right side while she took one of the pins and fastened the diaper around my leg. She proceeded to do the same on the left side.

 

            Afterwards, she took a pair of white plastic pants out, and she buttoned them over my diaper as well. She didn’t bother to put any more clothes on me; I had already been wearing a T-shirt.

 

            Once I was back down on the floor, I noticed how weird the cloth diaper felt. It was definitely thicker than the disposables had been, and unlike them, it had no give; I definitely felt like there was two inches between my ass and the ground.

 

            And the plastic pants! I felt the outside of them; it was smooth, soft, and unlike anything I had ever worn before. On top of that, they made a crinkling sound every time I moved. I was sort of mystified by the weird feeling of my new diaper.

 

            Fed up with the toys and the stories, I simply just sat there and drifted away in my thoughts. As I sat there, a new thought entered my mind. I began to think about how I never talked in front of the nannies, and how I had stopped fighting them. I thought that they probably thought that I was giving in to the decoding process, and that I would soon become a complete baby.

 

            I decided that I would use this against them. I was really starting to get sick of this place, and I didn’t know how much more I could take. So I decided that the next day I would try to escape.

 

            You’d think I would have given it a lot more thought, but I generally believed that the nannies would be caught off guard if I tried to make a break for it and that I would have the element of surprise. So, I basically decided that the next time they would take me out of the nursery to put me down for a nap, they wouldn’t be holding me as tight, and I would get escape their grasp and crawl away, hopefully reaching the door that led to the outside.

 

            Deciding that this was a good plan, I decided that I would try it the next day. In the mean time, I had shit my diaper again, and I needed a change. The cloth diapers were even weirder when I pissed or shit in them, and they didn’t absorb nearly as much as the disposables. This was annoying, but at the moment, I didn’t care.

 

            After I was changed, the nanny put me back in a crib for the night. To my surprise, I saw Johnny in the room where she had taken me, although he was sound asleep, his pacifier in his smiling mouth.

 

            After I was tied down, I was left to go to sleep. But I had trouble sleeping. And this brings me back to the spot where I originally started to tell you this story.

 

            I guess the cloth diaper was one reason why I had trouble sleeping, but I think it was mainly because I was nervous about my escape plan. Nonetheless, I eventually became to tired to stay awake any longer, and I drifted off to sleep.

 

            That night, I dreamt again. In this dream, I met this really hot girl who looked like she was about sixteen. She invited me to an apartment, claiming that it was her brother’s. She told me he was out of town and that we had the whole place to ourselves. I eagerly accepted her offer.

 

            After we chilled out for a bit in the living room, she invited me back into her brother’s bedroom. I was excited because I knew that this totally hot chick wanted to have sex with me!

 

            Once we got back there, she took off all of her clothes except for her bra and her panties. In a sexy voice she said, “Ok, baby, time for you to get undressed too.”

 

            As I felt myself get hard, began to take off all of my clothes. Once I was naked, she walked over, gave me a kiss on the lips and began to massage my shoulders.

 

            “So, are you a real man?” she asked me.

 

            “Oh hell yeah,” I said. “I’m all the man you can handle.”

 

            With that, I grabbed her and threw her onto the bed. I immediately jumped on top of her and began to fuck her.

 

            Or, at least, I tried to. As soon as I jumped onto the bed, she rolled out of the way. I landed, and then rolled over on to my back, only to see her standing there with an angry look.

 

            “You pig!” she yelled. “You’re not a man, a real man knows how to respect a lady! You’re just a selfish, spoiled little baby! And now, I’m gonna treat you like one!”

 

            “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, trying to get up. It was then I realized that I was somehow attached to the bed, and I couldn’t get up.

 

            When I looked back at the girl, she had an evil grin on her face, and I saw that she had an unfolded cloth diaper in her hands. As I violently struggled and yelled and pleaded with her to stop, she grabbed my legs and powdered my ass with baby powder that she had somehow obtained. She talked baby talk to me while she pinned the cloth diaper on me with a HUGE diaper pin. As I lay there crying, she called in her brother and a bunch of other guys and girls who all pointed at me, laughed, and cooed me just like I was a baby. As I begged them all to stop, they forced me to drink a baby bottle, which caused me to immediately wet my diaper.

 

            As they all laughed and commented about how I was a wet baby, I woke up and found myself back in my crib. As soon as I got over the dream, I began to ponder my escape plan for the day.

 

            I continued to think about what I was going to do as a nanny came in, gave me a bath and groomed me, and then took be back to the nursery. Once she was gone, I figured out what I would do; once it was time for my next nap, as a nanny carried me down the hall, I would give her a good, solid punch to the stomach. Since I knew I could hit hard considering how many kids I had beat up in the past, I figured this would be a good way to stop her for a period of time. Besides, since I had been so good the past few days, she’d never see it coming. From there, I’d quickly crawl down the hall and find the main door. Surely I could reach the handle, even if I had trouble standing, and I could open the door and make it outside. From there I could hide somewhere until I lost them. I’d then figure out a way to remove my collar and make a break for it.

 

            I wasn’t exactly sure what I would do once I had escaped, but I didn’t care; all I wanted was to get out of this place.

 

            I spent the next few hours practicing crawling, knowing I’d have to crawl very quickly. Even though it was annoying putting up with getting changed and fed again, I dealt with it.

 

            Then the moment to strike came. A nanny picked me up and told me in a nice voice that it was time for my nap. She then carried me out of the nursery.

 

            Turns out I would be in even more luck than I had thought. The nanny ended up carrying me to a…uh, “crib room” I guess you could call it. Anyway, she carried me to a crib room that was close to the main door! As we got closer and closer, the door was only about twenty feet away.

 

            As she turned to carry me to the crib room, I took the opportunity to attack. She was holding me in her arms, so I just quickly turned towards her and punched her right in the stomach.

 

            It did the job; the nanny dropped me in surprise and I felt my feet and legs crash into the floor. I quickly turned towards the main door and started crawling. It hurt my knees terribly crawling on the hard tile, but I was too full of adrenaline to care. I could see myself getting closer and closer to it…ten feet…eight feet….five feet…two feet…

 

            As soon as I was close enough, I made myself stand up to reach the handle. I knew I would get a shock, but I was prepared. As I felt the pain shoot through my body, I managed to grab hold of the handle and turn it. Despite my horrid pain, I was able to open the door, and as I did so, I dropped to the floor, knowing that the horrible agony of the shock would be over as soon as I reached the floor, and then I would be free to escape the building!

 

            But to my horror, as soon as I reached the floor, the pain didn’t stop; in fact, it became worse. I panicked because I didn’t know why I was still being shocked. I yelled in pain as I rolled over onto my back.

 

            It didn’t stop for what felt like an hour, although I’m sure it was more like five minutes. Near the end of it, I looked up and saw the nanny. She was pressing a spot on her wrist, and I realized that she was the reason I was being shocked.

 

            Once it was over, my body was far too weak to move. As the nanny scooped me up in her arms, I saw that she had a smile on her face, but it was not a kind smile; it seemed to say “I’m happy because I know how much trouble you’re in”.

 

            As she walked me into the crib room and strapped me in, she said, “Cody, Cody, Cody…you were being such a good baby. But I guess you forgot that you’re only a baby, and when a baby hits a nanny, it doesn’t hurt much. Don’t worry, honey, mommy’s not mad you tried to hit her; many bad little babies have done it before. But you WILL be punished. For now, it’s time for the baby to have his nap, but when he wakes up, he will be punished greatly.”

 

            After she left, it took a few minutes for my body to regain its strength. I began to realize what had happened. Like the stupid bitch said, I didn’t have all my strength, so my punch must have not hurt her as much as it should. However, because of what Johnny had told me, I knew I had more strength than a baby; I just think the woman got pleasure to tell me I was only as strong as a baby (or maybe it was another technique of the decoding process). Anyway, my punch didn’t have much affect on her, so she probably just dropped me in surprise, not pain. And she must have started to shock me either while I was standing or as I came down.

 

            No matter how it happened, I was feeling very defeated at my failed attempt. On top of that, I began to get worried about how I would be punished. I had not only hit a nanny, but I had tried to escape. Despite everything that was going through my head, I managed to fall asleep (even in a week I had gotten somewhat used to the extra sleep).

 

            I woke up wet, which was irritating but not exactly surprising. Within minutes the same nanny who I had hit came in. She carried me back to the nursery, and even though she was nice while she changed me, I knew she was looking to punish me.

 

            Well, she didn’t actually change my diaper. After taking off my wet one and cleaning me, she just picked me up under my armpits with my naked lower half left for the whole nursery to see (I was only wearing a T-shirt). After getting the attention of the whole nursery, just like before, I was put over her knee and she proceeded to spank me.

 

            Yet again I was embarrassed, especially because I was even more naked than I had been before. But then I began to remember Johnny’s advice. After a while, despite the laughter of the other kids, I began to wonder what was so bad about this. I mean, even though she gave me what seemed like a hundred slaps, they didn’t really hurt; I’ve taken a lot of pain in my life. And yeah, it was kind of embarrassing, but only because I let it be. So a couple of “babies” and “nannies” were laughing at me, who gives a damn? After receiving a good number of slaps, I began not to care that it was happening. I even felt a cynical smile go across my face.

 

            The nanny must have noticed the fact that I wasn’t screaming or even crying. After a while, she stopped spanking me, and she sat me up and looked me in the face. She then asked, “Now, did baby Cody learn his lesson?”

 

            I should have cried. I should have put on a sad face and nodded. I should have simply said “yes” no matter how happy my face looked. But like a fucking IDIOT, I shook my head, and even though it was extremely childish, I stuck my tongue out at her.

 

            Why did I do it? I don’t know, I just got pleasure out of defying her and letting her know that no matter what she did, she wouldn’t embarrass me or make me feel like a baby. I guess it’s the rebellious nature in me, the reason why I was here in the first place.

 

            I expected her to be angry. I expected her to yell at me and say, “Oh, is that so little baby?” Hell, I even expected her to throw me back over her knee and spank me some more. But she didn’t do any of those things. She simply smiled (yet again, another one of those evil smiles). She then stood up with me in her arms and carried me out of the room, motioning for another nanny to follow her.

 

            I probably should have been scared, but after going through a spanking and not being affected by it, I felt on top of the world. It didn’t seem like anything else could get to me at all.

 

            The two nannies took me to another bathroom. Once there, they took off my shirt, so I was completely naked. I started to get a little worried, so I tried to struggle, but like always it was useless. I was once again strapped down, left only to see these two women leaning over me.

 

            “Well, Cody,” the main one began. “It seems like you think you’re very tough, don’t you? I think that’s the problem; you still think you’re a big boy, you haven’t realized that you’re just a baby. So I think we’d better make you more like the baby you are.”

 

            With that, she went away for a few seconds, and when she came back, I saw that she had some shaving cream and a razor in her hands.

 

            I screamed in rage and struggled as violently as I could, but it was no use. The other nanny yet again tied a pacifier around my head and my restraints held me tightly. But the nanny just smiled as she put the shaving cream on my pubic hair and proceeded to shave it off.

 

            I did everything I could to stop her while I did it. I made as much noise as I could around the pacifier, and I squirmed in whatever way possible. But I didn’t stop her in the least bit. I began to cry again because of my pure helplessness.

 

            Once my pubic hair was gone, the nanny kept going. Soon, she had shaved my legs (I tried to fight it, but the two nannies were able to keep my in control, even when they had to unfasten my legs to shave them). She also shaved off my stomach and chest hair, my armpits, and even my face. The only good thing is that she didn’t cut me at all; I guessed that this wasn’t the first time she had shaved someone like me.

 

            She decided to leave the hair on the rest of my head alone, saying “It makes you look so adorable, Cody” as she pinched my cheek. The whole time I continued to helplessly cry. And to add to my grief, she then said, “And we want him to stay baby smooth, now don’t we? So we better make sure he doesn’t get back his big boy hair.” With that, she took out this weird kind of spray and sprayed it all over the areas that she had just shaved. Even though I wasn’t sure if I completely believed her, the thought alone was bad enough.

 

            Now I know what you’re thinking: why the hell was this such a big deal? I had just gone through a spanking in front of a room of people, and it didn’t phase me. Why was getting shaven enough to drive me to tears?

 

            I don’t know how exactly to explain it, but I guess you could say I was proud of those hairs. Ever since I had first grown them, I felt more like a man, and I had gotten very used to having them. Once they were gone, I felt completely like a little kid, or considering my situation, a baby. Combined with the nannies’ constant chiding and telling me how cute of a baby I was, as well as my remembering of how I had failed to escape, I kind of broke down and couldn’t just shake it off.

 

            I could tell the nannies were satisfied with my response, and once I was completely shaved (don’t you dare think of the phrase “smooth as a baby’s bottom), they powdered me again and put a new diaper and pair of plastic pants on me, refusing to shut up about how cute I was in my diaper and how little babies need their diapers. Once they had dressed me again in my shirt, they picked me back up and began to carry me back to the nursery.

 

            I was so flustered that I struggled with all of my might, but they held me firmly, and for good measure, shocked me again. This scared me into complying, and I just continued to cry as they plopped me back down on the nursery floor.

 

            Still feeling horrible about being shaved, I just collapsed onto the floor and continued to cry. It seems no matter what I did I still felt like a baby, not the badass fourteen year old that I once was.

 

            As I continued to feel sorry for myself, I noticed something a few feet away from me; it was a teddy bear. The bear was brown with a black plastic nose and eyes, and it looked very soft.

 

            Initially, I just ignored it. But as I looked at it more and more, I began become more interested in it. I had no idea why, but it struck me as cute, as stupid as that sounds. My interest continued, and I decided to crawl over to it and check it out.

 

            As I got closer, I had the urge to grab the bear. As I reached for it, I suddenly felt a sudden need to stop. ‘What in the hell are you doing?’ I asked myself. ‘For Christ sake, you’re fourteen years old! Why in the hell would you have a teddy bear? Only little wussies and…babies…have teddy bears.’

 

            But as I pondered this, I thought more and more about my past, and what Johnny had said. I thought about how my dad never let me have a teddy bear, and how I had always thought they were a bad thing for cool kids, tough kids like me. I looked at the bear and wondered what was so wrong about it. It was only a stuffed animal, and I couldn’t convince myself that it didn’t look cute…

 

            What was so wrong about having a teddy bear? It’s not like anyone here would think any less of me if I grabbed the bear, they think I’m a baby anyway. I was wearing a diaper, after all.

 

            But was I a baby? Just because I was being treated like one didn’t mean I really was one. And since I wasn’t a baby, I couldn’t justify having the bear.

 

            But then I thought ‘Dammit, why shouldn’t it be ok for me to have it? Why, just cuz my dad thought it was wussie? He’s the one who put me here! It looks so soft, and cute, what harm could it be in holding it…’

 

            With that, I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing the bear. Once I had it in my hands, I decided to give it a hug. I was filled with a warm sensation over my entire body, and it felt just so…good inside. As I continued to hug the bear, a smile spread across my face and I forgot all about the agony that I had been suffering. I made the decision that my dad was wrong, and that I had been wrong all of those years thinking teddy bears were for wussies…something this cute that made me feel this good had to be ok, and it didn’t matter what anyone else thought, it was right for me to have this bear.

 

            As the happiness continued to spread over my body, I decided to find a spot to lie down. I saw a light blue blanket on the ground, so I crawled over to it still clutching my bear.

 

            I curled up my body on the blanket, and I got comfortable snuggling my bear. Putting aside all of my feelings of silliness, I decided to give my bear a name. I liked the name “Timmy”; for some reason that sounded good.

 

            I continued to relax on the blanket as my euphoria continued, and I began to feel myself drift off to sleep. I didn’t know why, but as I did, my thumb inched closer and closer to my mouth. Before I knew it, I was sucking on it. I didn’t know understand exactly why I had put it in my mouth, or even more importantly, why I didn’t take it out once I realized it was there. It just felt so natural, and it made me feel even happier.

 

            I was just about asleep when I was jolted awake by a strangely familiar, sarcastic voice that said, “Aww, isn’t baby Cody just the cutest thing? I have to admit, you are pretty adorable with your bear and sucking your thumb like that, kid.”

 

 

Part 7

 

            I immediately recognized the voice (it was Johnny, of course), and I responded right away. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up straight, pulling my thumb out of my mouth and wiping it on my shirt while I did so. Strangely enough, I was still holding Timmy; I didn’t think about getting rid of him.

 

            I then said, “No, no…I was just…uh…”

 

            Once again Johnny held his hand up and said, “Come on kid, it’s natural. I told you that you’d find comfort in your furry little friend there.” He gave Timmy a look as he said this part.

 

            Realizing that I was still holding the bear, I slightly jumped out of shock and embarrassment, and I threw Timmy to the side. Even though I knew Johnny was right and that he even expected me to like the bear, I was still embarrassed to admit that I had gotten so much joy out of holding Timmy.

 

            It’s funny how quickly you can change mindsets. In the time span of ten seconds I had gone from complete happiness holding Timmy to extreme shame. I even started to feel disgusted that I had even considered hugging the stuffed animal.

 

            Johnny laughed at my reaction, and he just said, “Have it your way…but you better not lose him, you’ll probably want to hold him again. That is, if you don’t want to right now?”

 

            Johnny’s question puzzled me. I couldn’t decide…part of me wanted to race over to Timmy and grab him again, and another part not only resisted the urge, but made me feel stupid that I even had it.

 

            I decided to resist and I told Johnny, “No way, I don’t want that stupid thing.”

 

            “If you say so,” Johnny responded. “Not like it matters. Any particular reason you decided to grab him in the first place?”

 

            I wasn’t sure I wanted to recount the story for Johnny, but I decided to go ahead and tell him my failed escape plan, how I had fought off the shame of being spanked, and how I had been shaved because of it.

 

            Johnny was impressed; not at my escape plan or my stupid mistake of sticking my tongue out at the nanny, but at the fact that I had been shaved already.

 

            “I don’t know if you realize it kid, but that was the second step of the punishment process. Step one is spanking, step two is shaving. In just a week, you’ve already managed to reach level two. I can see why, though. Most kids here haven’t been able to fight off three spankings…probably because they didn’t have my advice about staying calm. And those who did weren’t foolish enough to so blatantly defy the nannies by sticking their tongues out at them…although I will say I that I find it quite funny.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess it was pretty stupid,” I admitted.

 

            “True, but look where it got you…you’re fighting the system pretty well kid, I’m impressed. Don’t worry so much, kid. Not a lot of kids here can say they’ve reached the level of being shaved. Well, once a kid is completely decoded the nannies typically shave him to make diaper changes healthier and whatnot, but it’s not a punishment for most kids…they never make it that far.”

 

            “Was the nanny being serious when she said my hair won’t grow back?!” I asked in alarm.

 

            “Well, partly…it will grow back, but it’ll take a couple of years…”

 

            “A COUPLE of YEARS???!!!” I asked in horror.

 

            “Oh come on kid, it’s no big deal.”

 

            “It is to me!”

 

            “Well, you’ll just have to deal with it. That spray stuff is pretty remarkable. It’s kept my hair off pretty well.

 

            “Anyway, given the shame of being shaved—especially considering YOUR pride—I find it completely normal that you found comfort in your bear. And I noticed you sucking your thumb, too!” he added with a smile.

 

            Feeling myself go a little red, I asked, “No, you see, I don’t suck my thumb, I have no idea why I did it. I don’t even think I sucked my thumb as a little kid…”

 

            “Yeah, kid, but remember, you probably haven’t held a teddy bear in a long time, either. Besides, don’t forget that you’ve been forced to sleep with a pacifier in your mouth for a week, so it’s natural for you have something in your mouth while you sleep. My guess is that as you started to fall asleep your body naturally responded by putting something in your mouth, with your thumb being the easiest thing. It happens all the time, although kids tend to just stick their pacifiers in their mouths when it happens.”

 

            As I took this all in, I got irritated and said, “Man, this decoding stuff really sucks!” After receiving another shock, I recovered to hear Johnny’s response.

 

            “Well, whatever you think of it, it’s happening. And it’s also affecting you in ways you probably haven’t even noticed yet.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” I asked.

 

            “Well, I kind of reluctantly tell you this, since it’ll probably just upset you.”

 

            Although I was a little resistant, I was curious now, so I said, “No, go ahead and tell me.”

 

            He started to say, “Well, let me ask you this…since you’ve been here, have you had a…” But he suddenly stopped and sniffed a bit. As he did so, a smell hit my nose. It didn’t take me long to realize that Johnny had a dirty diaper.

 

            He of course noticed the smell too, and he stopped and said to me, “Looks like someone needs a change.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess you’re gonna cry now and get a nanny to change you, right?” I asked.

 

            But Johnny just looked at me funny for a second, and then he said, “Uh, kid, I hate to tell you this, but I’m not the one with a smelly diaper…you are.”

 

            At first I thought he was joking. But then I shifted myself a little bit, and with complete shock and horror I realized he was right; I could feel the nasty mess up against my ass. How in the hell had I not noticed it come out, and then not noticed it once it was in my diaper.

 

            I almost started to cry, but I held it in. I just asked Johnny, “How did I not notice it?!”

 

            He just gave me a nervous look, shrugged, and said, “That’s what happens, kid. You get used to it after a while. But don’t feel bad; I myself am wet anyway. Come on, we can get changed together. It’ll be fun.”

 

            Not feeling like it would be any fun, I decided to just go with it. Both of us launched into a crying fit, and soon two nannies came over to change us. They carried us over to two changing tables and changed our diapers side by side. As my nanny removed my dirty diaper and wiped me, I noticed that Johnny was once again acting like a total baby.

 

            Even though I felt really stupid, I had an urge to…outdo Johnny, if that makes sense. I wanted to act even more like a baby than he was, almost like it was a competition. To be honest, I even had a fun time as I started to giggle and make babyish sounds while my nanny lovingly wiped me, powdered my butt, and pinned on a new diaper.

 

            Once we were changed, the nannies carried us back over to our previous spot.

 

            “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Johnny asked me.

 

            “Well, I GUESS not,” I responded.

 

            “Anyway, not to kill the mood or anything, but I was in the process of telling you how decoding has already affected you. Let me ask you this…since you’ve been here, have you had an erection?”

 

            After I processed Johnny’s question, I was utterly shocked…not only had I not had a hard on since I had been here, the thought of having one had never even crossed my mind.

 

            “Well…no,” I said in amazement to Johnny.

 

            “And assuming you used to drink, smoke, or do drugs, I bet you haven’t thought of any of those things or had the desire to use them since you’ve been here, right?”

 

            Once again he was correct. I was completely frightened by the idea…those things that used to be so central to my life were now things that didn’t even enter my mind at all.

 

            “Why haven’t I thought about all that stuff?” I asked.

 

            “Well, it’s actually just a pleasant (well, pleasant for the creators, anyway) side effect of you being here. The creators didn’t know about it at first, it just kind of happened, and that was just something else they didn’t have to purge us of. I can’t really explain it. I don’t think even they understand why it happens…I guess it’s just because you’re so surrounded by baby images that your mind can’t even take the time to think about it.”

 

            I was greatly bothered by this news, and I immediately tried to get a boner. I closed my eyes and I tried to clearly picture the hottest woman that I had ever seen, dressed in skimpy underwear. I pictured her slowly taking off her clothes, and I pictured her huge tits and tight ass.

 

            But my penis wasn’t responding at all. It stayed limp as ever. And not only that, but I had trouble finding the woman sexy. She looked nice and everything, but instead of me being turned on, I was filled with a desire to have her hold me in my arms. When I pictured her breasts, I didn’t get aroused by them, but I simply just had a desire to suck them…not for pleasure, but to get milk out of them…

 

            Horrified, I opened my eyes and just stared at Johnny.

 

            “What the hell…” Another shock. Feeling even more frustrated, I said, “What is happening to me?!”

 

            “You’re being decoded, my friend, I’ve told you many times before…”

 

            My mind was spinning around in circles from all of this. I felt like I was going insane. But one thought stood out; as much as my gut drove me to these babyish desires, my mind firmly rejected everything. I didn’t want to be decoded and turned back into a baby. I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to have a teddy bear, I didn’t want to suck a pacifier, I didn’t want to compete with Johnny to see who could be more babyish during a diaper change, I didn’t want to be loved (especially by stupid nannies), I didn’t want to play with stupid cars and blocks. I just wanted to go out and party with my friends, get into fights with people, raise hell like I used to…

 

            But when I looked Timmy, the teddy bear that was lying only a few feet away from me, I once again felt a churning in my stomach, a deep down desire to rush over and hug him. I wanted to be held in the arms of a nanny and have her lovingly bottle-feed me. I wanted to have someone there to change my wet or messy diaper whenever I let out a helpless whine…

 

            What the fuck was I saying?! I didn’t want that…I just wanted out! But I couldn’t get my mind to stick on that thought. I needed to find a way to focus…

 

            Then it hit me: Johnny. Johnny had been here for years and years, and yet he wasn’t decoded. Seeing him as a last hope, I told him, “Johnny, I NEED you to tell me how you’ve fought this system. Now.”

 

            He sat there, and once again he told me, “Later. I will when I think the time is right.”

 

            “Johnny,” I said, frustration building at this point. “I need you to tell me RIGHT NOW. I think now is the time.”

 

            “Sorry, kid, I ain’t going to. You’re not ready to hear it…”

 

            “Not ready to hear it!” I yelled in a whisper (if that makes any sense…I guess it was more like a hiss). I spoke like this because I wanted to be careful not to attract the nannies’ attention. “Johnny, I’m being decoded here! I’m starting to cry whenever I wet myself! I am being filled with desires to have a teddy bear! I’m sucking my thumb when I sleep! I’m having fun playing with cars…”

 

            “And I think it’ll be good for you,” he responded.

 

            This was about all I could take. My frustration was bursting over the top because he refused to tell me. I couldn’t hold in my temper any longer, so with a look of anger on my face, I very quickly crawled over to Johnny, grabbed him by the shirt he was wearing, and I forcefully pushed him down onto the floor. As I tightly pinned his shoulders to the floor, I told him, “NO! Tell me! Now!”, being careful to keep my voice down.

 

            My actions clearly caught him by surprise, but once he regained his composure, he calmly said, “Calm down kid. Come on, get off me.”

 

            After I quickly checked to make sure no nannies were watching us, I gave him a shake and responded, “No! Not until you agree to tell me why you’re not decoded!”

 

            But he just continued to stay calm and said, “Kid, I’m warning you, you better get off of me right now,”

 

            But I wouldn’t have it. I once again checked to make sure no nannies were watching, and then I once again gave him a firm shake and said, “Tell me!”

 

            “Sorry, kid, you asked for it.” I expected him to push me off or punch me or something. That’s what I’m used to happening in fights, and that’s what most people did when I had them pinned up against a wall or something. I didn’t worry, thinking I could take Johnny in a fight.

 

            But he didn’t fight me back. To my surprise, he began to cry. Although he started off small, he was soon screaming at the top of his lungs, tears coming out of his eyes.

 

            Realizing that a nanny would soon be here, I tried to get him to stop. If I had been smart, I would have jumped off of him and pretended like he was just crying because he was hungry or something. But I wasn’t thinking, so I just stayed on top of him, giving him a small shake and hissing, “No! Stop it! Come on, stop crying!”

 

            But before I knew it, I felt a yank from the back of my shirt, and I was thrown back a few feet. Looking up, I saw a nanny, a look of pure anger on her face.

 

            Another nanny rushed over, picked up Johnny, put him over her shoulder and began to comfort him. He continued to cry, but his yells turned into sobs. I looked around and noticed that the whole nursery was watching us.

 

            The nanny standing over me continued to look angry, and in a voice that had more anger than I had heard any of the nannies use, she said, “Cody, what happened here?”

 

            Before I could respond, in a babyish voice Johnny said, “C…Cody…hit me!” through his sobs.

 

            I immediately heard gasps from the nannies (and even some of the kids) across the room. As Johnny’s nanny comforted him, the nanny near me became furious. She looked down at me and yelled “HOW DARE YOU!” With that, she grabbed my right ear with one of her hands and started to drag me towards the door.

 

            I don’t know if you’ve ever been dragged by your ear, but I hadn’t, and let me tell you, the pain is horrible (I almost would have preferred a shock). Plus there was the fact that I couldn’t stand, so I was basically being dragged on my knees. I was too overwhelmed with shock by the whole situation that I only managed to whine a bit and go along with her. As she pulled me out of the room, I noticed that all the nannies and most of the kids were looking at me with scowls. I glanced over at Johnny. His head was over his nanny’s shoulder, and her back was towards me, so I could see his face. His cries were now merely whimpers, but his face wasn’t sad anymore; in fact, he was looking right at me with a devilish grin.

 

            Once I had been led out of the nursery, the nanny let go of my ear and harshly picked me up and put me in her arms. As she carried me down the hall, she held me tightly (it wasn’t just securely like they normally carried me; this was forcefully out of anger). She even gave me a few forceful shakes, stared down at me in anger and said, “You miserable little brat! I’ve seen a lot of wretched little creatures come through here, but you’re the nastiest one yet!”

 

            Even though these words made me feel horrible (you don’t know what it was like to look into her face…it was terrifying), although a part of me was just shocked because this was the first time I had heard a nanny talk to me (or any kid) in such a tone. Even when I had been punished, there was a sense of love about them. I hadn’t thought they were capable of being so…mean.

 

            As she continued to walk, she said, “I’m going to take you to one of our assistant directors, Dr. McPherson. He’ll know what to do with your filthy little carcass.”

 

            After she walked for a few more seconds, she came up to a door and stopped. She gave it a few quick knocks, and I heard an oddly familiar voice say, “Just a minute.” It seemed like the person was on the phone. After about a minute, I heard the voice say, “Come in.” I knew I had heard the voice before, but I just couldn’t place it.

 

            Once the nanny opened the door, I gasped when I recognized who the voice had belonged to. Sitting at a large desk (which had a little chair in front of it, facing it) sat the slick haired, greasy mustached man who I had first met when I arrived here. He was wearing another one of those leather outfits, although this time it was a dark red (I still don’t know why he wore them…what a freak).

 

            The nanny walked in and forcefully threw me onto the little chair. She then quickly strapped my wrists to its armrests and then grabbed my feet and did the same with my legs to the bottom of the chair (it was attached to the floor so I couldn’t move). She didn’t put anything in my mouth.

 

            It took the leather suit guy, Dr. McPherson I guessed, a few seconds to recognize me. Once he did, a devious smile spread across his face, and he looked at me and said, “So, Mr. Stephens, we meet again…” He then gave this shrill laugh that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

 

            “So,” he said, looking at both me and the nanny with the same smile. “What appears to be the problem here?”

 

            Before I could say anything, the nanny broke in and said, “Cody here attacked one of the other children!”

 

            The smile across McPherson’s face quickly snapped into a frown, and he suddenly stood up and looked at me intently.

 

            “Is this true?!” he demanded of me.

 

            I was really nervous, so I had trouble getting my voice to go. Technically, I hadn’t actually hit Johnny, so I nervously said, “N…no, I didn’t…”

 

            But the nanny once again interrupted me.

 

            “Don’t lie, you evil little troll!” she yelled. “I saw you myself! You were kneeling over him, holding him to the ground! Plus Johnny told us that you hit him!”

 

            As she spoke, McPherson stormed over towards me and got right in front of me.

 

            I began to say, “That’s not true…” but I was cut off my McPherson giving me a hard slap across the face.

 

            “Insolent boy!” he said angrily. “I hope you understand that I have no reason whatsoever to believe you. I trust our workers here far more than your filthy mouth that has told countless lies in the past. I know how you little cretins work, I’ve dealt with many of you in the past.”

 

            “And why would we ever take your word over Johnny’s?” the nanny added. “I admit Johnny was a very, very, difficult one to train, but now he’s one the sweetest babies we’ve ever had!”

 

            I was so pissed at Johnny that I blew his cover.

 

            “That’s not true!” I responded. “He’s not a baby! He’s just been acting like one, he’s fooling all of you…”

            

            My words didn’t accomplish anything, though, because I was cut off again by another angry slap by McPherson. “Shut up, you nasty little liar! You just don’t know when to stop, do you?”

 

            He then turned and walked slowly back towards his desk. While he walked, he started talking again.

 

            “We have seen many horrible little boys come through our wonderful program here, Mr. Stephens.”

 

            As much as I hated this prick, I have to admit that it felt very nice to have someone refer to me as something other than “Cody” or “the baby”

 

            It didn’t last though, because he then added, “Or should I say, Cody. We have dealt with the worst delinquent little brats that this area has to offer, and we have successfully re-programmed them to be what they should, good little babies and boys. But never, and I mean, never, in the ten years of this program, has one of them had the complete nerve to actually strike another one of the children so maliciously.

 

            “Unless you’re too stupid to notice, Johnny is nothing more than a two year old in an older body. He’s completely harmless and good-natured, and like you’ve heard, he’s one of the best behaved children that we have here. But YOU have the pure audacity to strike this child for no reason at all! What did he do to you, offer you a toy? Ask you to play with him? And you not only strike this innocent child, but then you invent some off the wall story to try to make up for it!”

 

            He walked over towards me, said “You utterly disgust me, Cody,”, and then he spat on me.

 

            This got rid of all the fright and nervousness I had, and it turned to pure anger. After wiping off his spit on my shoulder with my face, I violently tried to struggle, but I couldn’t do anything. Frustrated, I yelled out, “Yeah, fuck you and this gay ass program!”

 

            I of course got shocked, but not before I completed the statement. I was so enraged that I didn’t care.

 

            But McPherson just smiled. “Yes, that’s right, use your filthy language to try to insult me, that’s all you know how to do, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter; you may think you’re “tough”, Cody, but you’ll learn, no matter how long it takes.

 

            “You see, Cody, don’t get a false impression of our program. Most nasty little boys who come here believe that they are being turned back into babies. But in reality, that’s not the case. All this program does is show you little brats what you truly are, and treats you like it.

            

            “Because that’s all that you are, Cody; a baby. You always have to have your way. It’s all about doing what YOU want, not doing what older, wiser, people tell you to. They only help you to do what’s best for you, and what do you do? You ignore their rules and follow your own, having no appreciation for them.

 

            “You children are just like babies. Mommies and Daddies spend countless hours taking care of a baby; feeding it, bathing it, dressing it, changing it, comforting it. And what does the baby repay the parents by doing? It cries in the middle of the night, spits up on them, causes problems in public, and has messy diapers that need changing. It is in all ways selfish because it doesn’t know any better and can’t help it.

 

            “You are just the same way. Your parents, teachers, and other authority figures do everything for you, and how do you repay them? By making their lives miserable, causing problems for no reason. You are just a selfish little baby who doesn’t understand that others are only taking care of you and doing what’s best for you. So this program doesn’t turn you into a baby; it just treats you the way that you already are.”

 

            I resented everything this fucking bastard had to say. He didn’t understand a damn thing about my previous life. And he had no right to say anything about who I was, why I was here, or how I should be treated.

 

            But in the back of my mind, a tiny little voice was gnawing at the back of my head; it was saying that he was right, and I was just a selfish little brat, a baby who constantly hassles those who try to take care of me.

 

            But I pushed the little voice completely out of my head and ignored it while McPherson continued to talk.

 

            “But given that you have already committed this offense on poor Johnny, we are now faced with the dilemma of what to do with you. After all, we have never had a boy so wretched that has done something like this before…”

            

            The nanny once again broke in, “May I suggest lashings, sir?”

 

            Before I could process this, McPherson said, “As much joy as I would get out of beating this little waste of human skin, he doesn’t appear to be the type that pain seems to affect the most. From what I hear he has quite a rebelliousness to his shocks, so I don’t thing anything involving physical pain is serious enough to deal with his actions.”

 

            “Perhaps,” the nanny began. “An enema, then?”

 

            I gave a nervous gulp of fear. McPherson gave that shrill laugh again and said, “I do think that this idea would help straighten out our naughty little baby here, but as you know, we have not had the equipment necessary to administer the punishment for quite some time. Besides, many parents have complained about this treatment…although I haven’t the faintest clue as to why.”

 

            After he thought for a few minutes, he said, “Well, I do believe we’ll go with the standard punishment.”

 

            The nanny snorted and said, “Do you really think punishment level 3 is enough to discipline Cody for what he has done?” she asked.

 

            “No, I don’t,” he remarked. “That is why he will receive punishment levels 3, 4, and 5 within a three day period.”

 

            The nanny gasped in disbelief. Considering her relentless suggestion of punishments, this frightened me more than anything that had happened so far.

            

            “Do you really think he’ll be able to handle all three in such a short period of time?” she asked.

 

            “Well, there is the tiny risk of him going insane, I suppose,” McPherson responded. “But I think Cody does not have enough guts to make it through all three without surrendering to his babyhood, anyway. From what I’m told, he’s already found quite a fondness for a certain ‘teddy bear’.”

 

            I was irritated and shocked that he knew about Timmy, but more bothered by his suggestion of punishment.

 

            “It’s final,” he said. “Starting tomorrow, Cody will be punished accordingly. I hope you’re ready to leave this place, Cody.”

 

            I was filled with a sudden hope. Did this mean that I was done here at this stupid program? No matter what punishment levels 3, 4 and 5 were, if they meant I could take off this stupid diaper and get out of here to be punished, I didn’t care what they were.

 

            I couldn’t contain my hope, so I blurted out, “You mean I actually get to leave here and not be treated like a baby anymore?!”

 

            He looked at me for a second, and both he and the nanny burst into laughter. Once they were done, he said, “No, you idiot boy! How stupid are you? I don’t want to spoil the fun for you, so I’ll just say that tomorrow, the nannies and the other children won’t be the only ones who get to see you in diapers.” He then added another shrill laugh.

 

            “I think that will do it,” he said as he turned back to some papers on his desk. “Get this little piece of filth out of my sight,” he added without looking up.

 

            Before the nanny came over to untie me, my stomach gave a rumble. I had been hungry almost since the moment I had been taken to this room. Without even getting a chance to think, I let out a babyish howl; just like when I was wet, it came out by instinct.

 

            I soon caught myself and stopped; but the damage had already been done.

 

            “Oh, it looks like it’s time for Cody to have his ba-ba,” the nanny said. Turning to McPherson she asked, “Should I feed him, or make him stay hungry until tomorrow?”

 

            Looking up and smiling, he simply said, “Let the baby have his bottle. But afterwards, I do want you to tie him down in his crib until tomorrow morning. He needs some alone time to think about what he did to poor Johnny.”

 

            I was angry enough to try to resist and fight as the nanny untied me. Getting fed up with me, she gave me a five minute shock, which made my body limp enough for her to easily pick me up and carry me out of the room.

 

            Before she carried me out the door, McPherson spoke, “Oh, and one more thing. Since Cody still appears to be a little troublesome, don’t change his diaper until tomorrow morning. Maybe staying in his filth will make him realize how much he has in common with it.”

 

            It was kind of weird; once the nanny took me out of McPherson’s office, her treatment of me completely changed. Instead of treating me with hate and disgust, she reverted back to acting just like I was a baby. Her grip on me was still firm, but not hostile like it had been before. And I didn’t have the impression that she was mad at me anymore.

 

            She took me back to a nursery, although it was a different one than the one I had been going to. Until now they had always taken me back to the same one; I didn’t know why, or why she chose a different one this time. I guess after all of the drama that had just gone down in the other one she didn’t want to spark up any more problems.

 

            It’s not like the new nursery was much different; except for the color of the carpet, which was pink, it looked exactly the same as the other one. There were a lot of kids here that I hadn’t seen yet, but they acted just like the other ones, except for the fact that it seemed like more of them were walking rather than crawling. I began to wonder how they organized the different nurseries, and whether or not each one had an individual purpose.

 

            I didn’t have much time to think; I was hungry, and the nanny quickly took me over to a rocking chair and started to feed me a bottle. Given my current mental state, you’d think I would have fought against her. I didn’t for two reasons; (A) I was already in a lot of trouble and I didn’t want to make it worse, and (B) I was famished, and a bottle didn’t sound too bad.

 

            I kept Johnny’s old advice in my mind while I sucked on the bottle; I didn’t let the belittling of nursing from a baby bottle get to me. I was still pissed at him, so I resentfully followed his advice.

 

            Once I was done, I guess this nanny had other business to attend to, because she handed me over to a new nanny. The new nanny asked, “What’s this little fella’s name?” The first nanny told her that I was Cody, and after instructing the new one that I needed to be kept in a crib until the next morning with no diaper changes, the first nanny left.

 

            The new nanny smiled at me, and said, “Cody, huh?” She then carried me out of nursery and down the hall.

 

            For some reason there seemed to be something different about this nanny. She carried me very gently, and she didn’t constantly harass me with baby talk like the other nannies always did. I noticed this and it made me feel better. I immediately took a closer look at her.

 

            She was pretty young; she looked like she was in her early to mid-twenties. She was very beautiful, and had a slim body that also had a little muscle on it. She had light brown hair, blue eyes, and a gorgeous smile. She was wearing a pink sweater and jeans, and she smelt nice. All of these things combined to make me feel happy to be in her arms. She made me feel…safe.

 

            After she carried me down the hall a little bit, she turned and walked through a door. I expected us to go into another crib room; but instead, we were in a tiny little room that contained nothing but a flat little table and a small cabinet.

 

            She laid me down onto the table, which I noticed probably wasn’t a changing table because it had nothing to strap me down with. I was only wearing a shirt and a diaper, so I was surprised when she took off of my plastic pants and unpinned my diaper.

 

            As she did so, she said, “I’m not going to strap you down, but if you move, I will shock you, ok?” I was surprised at her tone; she talked to me like I was fourteen, not a baby.

 

            I began to speak, but as I did, she took the pacifier that was pinned to my shirt and shoved it into my mouth. “Don’t talk,” she said. “Just listen.”

 

            I did as she said as I watched her reach into the cabinet. She pulled out this little tube, which she then used to squirt this paste into her hand. I was shocked when she started rubbing the paste all over my newly shaved pelvic area.

 

            As she did so, she said, “I’m told you’re not going to get a diaper change in a while. Since that’s the case, you’re going to get a bad rash, which I’m sure is part of your punishment. However, this cream will prevent that from happening.”

 

            She proceeded to put some more of the cream on my ass. Once she did so, she wiped off her hands and put my diaper back on me. After sliding my plastic pants back on over it, she spoke again.

 

            “I don’t have the time to explain anything right now…this is one of the few places that they’re not watching us, and I’m not supposed to have you in here, so we have to leave now. But before we do, listen to me: One day this will all be over. Until then, be strong; fight the decoding process, don’t give in to it.”

 

            I could hardly believe my ears as she picked me back up and carried me out of the room.

 

            As we went down the hall, I had the urge to speak or try to get out of her arms, knowing that she was different than all of the other nannies. As I spit out my pacifier, she quickly put it back in my mouth and hurriedly whispered, “No! Not now, you’ll surely be caught and be in more trouble. For now, just keep your mind right.”

 

            As much as I didn’t want to, I just stayed silent and sucked on my pacifier. She took me into a crib room and strapped me in, finally strapping my pacifier around my head. Before she left, I saw her turn around and grab something; to my great surprise and delight, it was Timmy! She tucked him in with me, smiled and whispered, “The other nannies told me you liked this little guy. Here you go!”

 

            I couldn’t really grab him, but I was filled with joy as she put him down next to me. Before she left, she whispered, “I’m Tammy, by the way.” With that, she turned and left.

 

            I was completely awestruck. I had no idea who this Tammy woman was, but she was obviously different than the other nannies. What was she up to? Not only did she not treat me like a baby, she defied McPherson my putting that cream on me, and she even told me to fight the decoding process. What was going on here?

 

            Even though I felt much happier knowing that someone was on my side, a nervous thought entered my head; what if this was a trick? What if the other nanny had sent Tammy to me to make me trust her, and then Tammy would use that trust to decode me even more? After all, she had given me Timmy, right?

 

            Not knowing what to think about the whole situation, I decided to just relax, which eventually led to me falling asleep. I slept for a few hours, and when I woke up, I was wet and hungry. Luckily, a nanny came in (not Tammy), and without bothering to untie my wrists or legs, gave me a bottle while I was still in my crib (she took out the pacifier, of course). However, she didn’t change my diaper, and I was forced to lie there in the cold dampness of my piss.

 

            A few more hours passed before I could fall asleep again. In that time I ended up shitting my diaper, and I was getting really sick of the smell and the feel of it all over my ass and crotch area.

 

            During this time all kinds of thoughts swam through my head; my anger at Johnny and McPherson, my nervousness about my punishment the next day, my confusion as to who Tammy was, my self-pity for the state I was in, my happiness that I had Timmy with me, and the discomfort of my nasty diaper to name a few. Eventually, however, I fell asleep for the night.

 

            I awoke the next morning to sunlight once again coming in through a window in the crib room. Two things struck me almost immediately. Firstly, there was the horrid feel (and smell) of my wet and dirty diaper. It apparently did its job and held everything in it; however, this also meant that I had to deal with it pressed up against my skin, and it had been there long enough to really start stinking a good bit. It almost made me gag.

 

            The second thing I noticed was that I was alone. There were no other kids in any of the other cribs. This was awkward, but I didn’t think much of it.

 

            It wasn’t long before a nanny came into the room. She had a smile on her face at first, but she soon turned her nose up in disgust. “Whoo!” she said. “We have a very smelly baby, don’t we? Let’s get baby Cody changed.”

 

            I was so relieved at this that I wasn’t even bothered by the babyish talk. She untied me from the crib and took me to a changing table in the crib room; for some reason there was one in this particular crib room. The nanny thoroughly wiped and cleaned me when she changed me, and to be honest, for the first time I truly enjoyed the feeling of a clean diaper on me.

 

            She then dressed me in a light blue and (gasp!) pink striped footed sleeper. This was the worst one yet, and again, it had that stupid “Baby Cody” label on it. I didn’t complain, however; I knew it would just lead to more shocking.

 

            After I was taken to a nursery and spoon-fed, uh, breakfast, surprisingly enough I was taken back to the crib room. It was very early for a nap, so I almost questioned the nanny why she was taking me back there. To make things even more odd, once I was strapped in, she didn’t bother to put my pacifier in my mouth. Timmy was in the crib with me; it was the same one that I had slept in the night before. I lay there for a bit, trying to figure out what was going on.

 

            The answer was soon revealed. As the nanny just looked down on me and smiled, two people entered the room. In fact, the two people who were responsible for me being here at all; the two people were my parents. I felt a mix of emotions. Part of me was horrified and embarrassed to have my parents see me like this. Part of me was pissed at them for putting me here. But another part of me was just relieved to see them, in the hopes that maybe they would let me leave.

 

            As they walked in, I noticed the looks on their faces. My mom looked extremely happy; she had a huge grin on her face, and she looked excited. My dad just had a somewhat satisfied smile on his face.

 

            Before I could say anything, my mom said, “Cody, I’m so happy to see you!”

 

            I didn’t even notice the fact that she called me Cody, not Luke. Before I could think, I said, “I’m happy to see you guys too!”

 

            I suddenly realized that this was my chance to get out of here, and my hope overtook me. “Mom, do you see what they’ve done to me here?! Come on, tell them to get me out of here! They make me sleep in a crib, suck pacifiers, drink baby bottles, wear diapers…”

 

            “You wear diapers?” my dad asked. As I nodded, he just burst out into laughter. He found the idea hilarious!

 

            My mom just continued to smile. “Honey, now think, why would we want to get you out of here?”

 

            I was suddenly filled with a new sense of terror. “But mom,” I said nervously. “I can’t stay here any longer! They treat me just like a baby! This isn’t right! You’ve got to help me…”

 

            “But you see, honey,” my mom said. “We are helping you. When you’re done, you will be a good little boy!”

 

            “Mom,” I began, as anxiety started to take over. “No! You’ve got to get me out…”

 

            “Just shut up for a second,” my dad said.

 

            “Honey, this really is the best thing for you,” my mom said. “One day you’ll thank us. Besides,” she said with a smile. “You look so adorable! I always wished I could get back my sweet little baby Cody! And now I have him back! Just look at you! You’re wearing a cute little sleeper, you have your little blankie, you have your paci pinned so you can suck on it, you get your fed your ba-bas, and you even have to have your didees changed!”

 

            “And look,” my dad added. “You even sleep with that teddy bear! I guess you really were a little wussy after all! You’re finally in a place you belong!”

 

            Tears began to fill my eyes as I realized that even my own parents wanted me to be a baby. My mom came over and said, “Don’t cry, sweetie, it’s ok. If you want your teddy, that’s fine. Babies need their teddy bears…”

 

            “I’m not a baby!” I screamed in rage. “My name’s not Cody! Get me out of here!” I added as I struggled violently.

 

            “Looks like our baby is a little fussy!” said the nanny who was still in the room. “I think he needs his paci and should be rocked to sleep!”

 

            “Allow me!” my mom said. “He is my baby, after all.”

 

            As I tried to resist my own mother, she stuck my pacifier in my mouth and tied it around my head. The three of them worked together to untie me, and once they did, my mom carried me out of the crib room and into the nursery. My dad decided to leave; after thanking the nanny for what she had been doing to take care of me, he said he needed to go to work and he left.

 

            I tried as hard as I could to escape, but like the nannies, my mom was too strong for me.

 

            After the three of them took me over to a rocking chair, my mom said, “I think Cody wants his ba-ba. I’ll feed him; it will be just like I used to fourteen years ago.”

 

            As she took a baby bottle and tried to put it in my mouth, I didn’t let her. She then said, “Cody, you drink your bottle, or I will have to spank you!”

 

            Horrified at the idea that I would be spanked by my own mother, I consented to the bottle. I couldn’t believe here I was, fourteen years old and being fed a baby-bottle by my mom! As I nursed from it, my mom told the nannies stories about how when I was a baby I used to cry and cry until she gave me a bottle and burped me.

 

            To make matters that much worse, as I drank it, I wet my diaper! After I finished the bottle, my mom knew that I was wet and said, “Awww, looks like the baby needs a diaper change! Maybe it’s been a long time since I’ve changed your diapers, Cody, but I haven’t forgotten how!”

 

            “No…no!” I said. I was utterly horrified by my mom changing my diaper.

 

            “Wait a second,” the nanny said. “I think someone else can help us with that.”

 

            I thought there was no way things could have gotten any worse; but I was wrong. As I looked towards the door, of the nursery, my latest ex-girlfriend, Vicky, came in through the door.

 

            We hadn’t had the best relationship. Even though we were both only fourteen, I had often yelled at her when she did little things to irritate me, and I had cheated on her many times. When she finally found out, she dumped me, but soon after I had sex with her best friend, so I wasn’t bothered by it.

 

            But now here she was, with a huge smile across her face. As she approached us, she said, “Well, well, well, the big bad Luke is now being treated just like what he is, a big baby!”

 

            As my mom held me tightly in place, Vicky leaned over, pinched my cheek and said, “Cutchie cutchie coo, little baby! Aren’t you so cute? I have to admit, Cody,” she said, reading what was on my sleeper. “I like you much better as a baby.”

 

            I felt deep hatred towards her, but also defeat at the helplessness of my situation.

 

            The nanny then said, “Vicky, you’re just in time! Cody here has a wet diaper!”

 

            Vicky just let out a laugh and said, “That’s just classic! Luke, the boy who used to think he was the king of the world, needs a diaper change! Well, Cody, I’ve baby-sat a lot of babies in my time, so I think I can help you out! One clean diaper coming right up!”

 

            I once again started crying as the three of them carried me over to a changing table. This just couldn’t be happening! They strapped me down, and the nanny and my mom held my legs and arms in place as Vicky began to unfasten the bottom of my sleeper.

 

            As she took off my plastic pants and unpinned my diaper, she said, “You sure are a heavy wetter, Cody! You really went pee pee in your diapy!” She just laughed and merrily hummed as she removed the diaper and used a baby wipe to clean my pubic area.

 

            After remarking on my shaven state, she took some baby powder and powdered my ass. After doing the same to my front, she took out a new diaper.

 

            Then something funny happened; as she unfolded it and put it underneath me, my vision started to become blurry. I guess it was just my emotional state overtaking me, but I felt like I was about to pass out. As Vicky continued to smile at me, everything began to slowly and slowly fade away…

 

            I again woke up. I was back in my crib, with Timmy next to me, and I immediately noticed that I had a very wet and messy diaper. A pacifier was strapped around my head, and I noticed that I was only wearing a diaper and a T-shirt. I once again noticed that sunlight was coming in through the window, and I could tell it was early morning…

 

            After noticing the other kids in the room, I realized that I had been dreaming. After gathering my thoughts, I realized that I did have the encounter with Tammy, and yes, my diaper hadn’t been changed since McPherson had ordered it not to be, but to my great relief, neither my parents nor Vicky had ever come here. After I sighed around my pacifier, I felt happy that at least my life had not been complete hell.

 

            Soon after, a nanny came in. After untying me, and changing my severely nasty diaper, she said, “Ok, Cody, let’s get you fed and cleaned up. You have a big day ahead of you!”

 

            I remembered that I still had punishment level 3 to go through today. I was still relieved that the encounter with my parents and Vicky had been a dream, but if I had known what was ahead of me, I probably would have wished that that encounter had been the real punishment.

 

Part 8

 

            My morning routine was actually just about the same as it always was; I was bathed, dressed (in overalls), spoon fed, and left to play for a few hours. However, after about an hour of being left in the nursery, a nanny came in, picked me up, and put me on a changing table.

 

            I didn’t need a diaper change; she just put me up there so that she could put a type of clothing on me that I hadn’t worn since I had been here; shoes. They actually weren’t all that bad; true, they did have Sesame Street designs on them, and they were Velcro, but compared to a diaper and overalls, the shoes weren’t that embarrassing.

 

            Afterwards, the nanny carried me out of the nursery and down the hall to a little room next to main door. I really saw no point in resisting her as she carried me down the hall; I knew it would just lead to shocks and more trouble.

 

            This changed once we got into the room. This was because of what I saw; a STROLLER. This was no ordinary baby stroller; ok, the design was the same, what with the padded seat, wheels, and the overtop cover thing, not to mention the fact that the whole thing was light blue. But I could tell that just like all the other furniture at this place, the seat was big enough for, you guessed who, me.

 

            Upon seeing the hellish transportation device, I burst into panic and yelled, “No…no…no!” I violently tried to get out of the arms of my nanny. But she held me tight, walked over to the stroller, and struggled to push me into the seat of the stroller.

 

            Despite her strength, I managed to prevent her from doing so; no matter how much she pushed, I managed to keep myself from being put into the seat.

 

            You can probably see where this shit is going. After a few more seconds of resistance, the nanny got frustrated with me, and just like before, she shocked me (for a good five minutes). After the horrible pain, my body went limp again, and she had no trouble sitting me down in the seat of the stroller.

 

            I just weakly pleaded with her to stop, saying, “No…please…anything but this…”

 

            But she just continued to work, muttering that I had brought it upon myself. Once my body was in the seat, she pulled down a soft bar that went over my waist, and pulled up another one that went between my legs. They clicked together and locked; it was just like a baby who is gets pushed in a stroller. Well, with one major exception; my arms were also pinned down by the bar, so I couldn’t move them either.

 

            As I was trapped into the stroller, I did manage to make some resistance…I was able to lift my arms a couple of inches, trying to stop the nanny. But it was pointless; my efforts were futile, and I was now snugly strapped into the evil device.

 

            Have you ever been to an amusement park and rode a ride that goes upside-down? You know how those bars tightly fit over your waste to keep you strapped in so that you don’t fall out? Well, that’s how this was, with two exceptions; one, my arms were also strapped down, and two, the “bars” holding me in were really soft, yet firm.

 

            Even though it didn’t matter, I had to admit the stroller was kinda comfortable. I was sitting upright, with my feet out at a slight angle. And the seat against my back and butt was soft, like a nice easy chair. Yet somehow my comfort didn’t give me any comfort.

 

            With my body still limp, the nanny took my pacifier and once again strapped it around my head. She also took a baby blanket and draped it over my body, tucking it in at the bottom near my feet and near my shoulders as well, so it wouldn’t fall off. The good thing was that this hid my overalls; the bad news was that it was a babyish, puffy blanket that had little moons and ducks all over it. I saw the nanny throw a bag with baby patterns on it over her shoulder, and then she went out of my view. I knew that she was behind me because a few seconds later I felt myself and the stroller being pushed.

 

            The nanny proceeded to push me out of the room and then through the large door leading out of this hellhole. It was a weird sensation, being pushed around like this. I wondered why the nanny didn’t struggle to get me to move, but then I remembered that my collar made me super light.

 

            As we went outside, I got my first good look of the area surrounding the building. It had been so rainy when I had arrived that I didn’t notice anything, and when I tried to escape I never got a good look at the outside. But now, it was a beautifully perfect spring morning. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was blue, and the air felt great. Too fucking bad I couldn’t enjoy the weather. But even with my body still recovering from the shock, I had a good view of what was around the building as the nanny followed a pathway leading around it, and I decided to study the area.

 

            Strangely enough there wasn’t much to see around three sides of the building. There was a pretty large field surrounding the building itself, with well kept, picture perfect grass. Beyond that, on two sides, there was a pretty thick forest. On a third side, the grass just extended to an even larger field.

 

            However, the nanny pushed me along the pathway that extended out to the fourth side. This side was not barren; in fact, the first thing I saw was a street. Beyond that, I saw that the area was a mix between a suburb and an urban area. There were houses, apartments, and other buildings fairly close together with streets and sidewalks surrounding all of them. However, there was also grass and small trees in between them as well. I suddenly came to the realization that I didn’t know where we were, only that it was about two hours away from my house (since that’s how long the bus ride had been).

 

            And then it hit me; judging by the cars driving through the streets and the people walking along the sidewalks, I realized that I was going to be “strolled” out in the open, where all these people could see me in my baby-like state.

 

            The shock of this had a direct effect on me, and I immediately got a jolt of panic. This managed to bring my body out of its limp state as adrenaline filled my body. I struggled violently in the stroller, hoping that if nothing else I could get it to tip over. But I was tightly locked in; no part of the stroller even budged, and the nanny just kept on pushing me right along, getting closer and closer to the main street.

 

            I became more and more panicked as the images of cars and people became clearer and clearer. As beads of sweat formed over my head, I struggled even more, but only managed to wear myself out. Feeling helpless, I only managed to softly moan as we inevitably reached the street.

 

            After waiting for the stoplight to change, the nanny pushed me across the street. I could turn my head, but I had no desire to look at the people in the stopped cars, so I just merely stared forward as we approached the other side. I found myself on a sidewalk with various buildings beside it. The nanny continued to push me along the sidewalk into the town, taking turns every now and then.

 

            She wasn’t in a hurry; I don’t know if she just didn’t care, or if she deliberately went slow just to soak in people’s reactions.

 

            There were quite a few people out on the sidewalks, some walking, some standing outside shops or houses just talking. As much as I didn’t want to, I found myself looking at people as they reacted to my situation. The streets weren’t really crowded, but we definitely passed someone at least every ten seconds.

 

            I honestly expected everyone to jump in extreme shock; I mean, that’s what I would have done if I saw a woman pushing a teenager in a stroller with a pacifier in his mouth and a baby blanket over him. I even thought (and hoped) that someone would run over and ask the nanny what the hell was going on.

 

            But not only did no one cause a scene, ask questions, or yell out in surprise, no one looked the slightest bit shocked to see me like this. Nobody even gave me or the nanny any weird looks.

 

            To my great relief, most people didn’t even give me a second look; they just went about with their business as usual. You’d have thought that I was an actual baby being pushed by my mother.

 

            Well, almost. There were some exceptions. As we went passed a few boys playing on the sidewalk (they looked about ten), they stopped playing and looked at me for a second, trying to get a closer look. Once they realized I wasn’t an actual baby (I wondered why the idiots didn’t realize it at first because of the huge stroller), they pointed at me and laughed, whispering things to one another as I was pushed past them. I felt my cheeks go red, and I desperately wished that I could escape and pound them; that would shut them up. But I couldn’t, I just had to sit there and take their laughter.

 

            There were many such cases as this, especially with boys. However, they were not the only ones to respond.

 

            Some people, especially women would smile at me as we walked past. Some gave me babyish waves. Some let out choruses of “awwws”. But the worst was when they stopped us.

 

            After initially saying something like, “My what a beautiful baby!” or “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing!”, these people would been down in front of me and stare. The nanny would stop the stroller and answer the questions that were asked, such as “What’s his name?” or “How long have you had him?” Then they would continue to smile at me, often pinching my cheek, commenting on my blanket, telling me how adorable I was, or just talking nonsense baby-talk to me. One even said “I wish I could take him home and make him my little baby!”

 

            I really had no choice but to sit there and take it, with my cheeks burning and my temper flaring. I tried to cuss out one of them, but my pacifier made it sound like I was just making babyish gurgle. This led one woman to say, “My my, he’s fussy. Have you checked his diaper?” I decided from then on just to not do anything, hoping to resist any more embarrassing comments.

 

            Thankfully, I managed to keep in my tears; this was good not only for my own pride’s sake, but if I cried, I just knew that someone would really act like I was a baby and that I needed to be fed or changed or something.

 

            As we moved on, I wondered what the hell was wrong with everybody. Except for the kids, they acted just like I was a real baby. Was this town just as fucked up as the program that I was in? This only made me feel worse, so I decided not to think about it.

 

            Soon I got a ray of hope; as we kept going I saw a policeman on a street corner. For the first time in my life I was glad to see a cop. Surely he’d put an end to this, arrest the stupid bitch pushing me, and bust me out of the fucking program.

 

            But to my horror, as we came upon him, he looked over, smiled at the nanny, tipped his hat and said, “Good day, ma’am.”

            

            After the nanny responded, he leaned closer to me, smiled, and said, “Who’s this little fella?”

 

            “This is Cody,” she said. “We decided it would be good for Cody to get some fresh air and show everyone what a cute baby he is. Everyone we’ve seen so far finds him absolutely adorable!”

 

            “Well, he is a cute little tyke,” the man said. He chuckled and reached out to lightly grab my chin. I would have bit him damn fingers off if I didn’t have the pacifier in my mouth. After patting my cheek lightly, he said, “Now you be a good boy for your mommy, you hear?” It was funny how he said this; it was still like I was a real baby and all this meant was that I shouldn’t cry or something like that.

 

            As we left him, I began to get really bothered, realizing that I really did have no hope. But once again, Johnny’s advice echoed through my head. I knew the only way I could fight the decoding (and the possibility of insanity) was to stay calm and not let all of this get to me. As I took a few deep breaths through my nose, I began to make myself relax.

 

            Now that I was used to the whole thing, this wasn’t so bad. Have you ever had something embarrassing happen to you in public? At first, you’re like “Oh god, this is so embarrassing to have everyone see me.” But then you’re like “Wait, I’m not ever going to see any of these people again, so why does it matter if they see me?” That’s the way I began to feel. Even the snotty kids didn’t bother me since I knew that I didn’t know them and that I wouldn’t have to deal with them again.

 

            After I managed not to let a few more encounters with some stupid women get to me, I was feeling pretty good. This was punishment level 3, and I was taking it pretty well. The nanny would probably just take me around town a little more, and at the very worst, we’d stop in a restaurant and she’d spoon feed me or something. That wouldn’t be so bad, and soon the day would be over. And that would be one punishment down.

 

            My hopes were shattered soon afterward, however. The nanny stopped in front of an open gate with a series of buildings next to each other and said, “Ok, Cody, here we are, where you’re going to have some real fun!” I looked up and became mortified as I read a sign that said, “St. John’s Catholic Boarding School for Young Ladies”.

 

            My nerves suddenly shot through the roof. This wasn’t just random people seeing me in a stroller; the nanny had taken me here for a purpose and obviously something was going to go down. And with a bunch of girls to make matters worse!

 

            As the nanny pushed me through the open gate, I noticed we were on a brick pathway. The “campus” looked sort of nice; there was grass, trees, and about fifteen brick buildings scattered about.

 

            As we continued along the pathway, I noticed a group of girls at a picnic table having lunch. As we drew closer, one of them spotted me and the nanny, and I saw her say something to the group of girls (there were about ten of them). They all looked over at me and began to point and talk excitedly. Soon after, they got up and started running towards me. My body tensed up with a new level of nerves, and I felt my heart pound faster. I struggled as hard as I could to escape the stroller, but it was no use. I thought in my head ‘Please! Just get me out of here! I’ll do anything, just turn around!’ But of course I couldn’t say any of this, and even if I had been able to, it wouldn’t have made any difference.

 

            As I felt my nerves burst through the roof, I started to sweat again, and I saw the group of girls stand in front of the stroller.

 

            They all looked about my age, maybe slightly younger. They were all very hot, with nice, slim bodies. They were all white, but their hair colors varied. They were all wearing the same outfit; white button-up shirts, black skirts that were pretty short, and white socks that were pulled up.

 

            I had always had a thing for girls in Catholic school girl outfits, and before I would have given anything to be surrounded by these ten pretty girls. But given my current situation, my heavenly fantasy was complete hell, and I wished so badly that I could just disappear into thin air.

 

            The girls just completely surrounded me, and a flood of giggles and voices filled the air. They immediately started saying “Awwww”, asking the nanny about me, and remarking how cute I was. But this was different than the women in the street. Not only were there ten of them, but because of their laughter and the tone of their voices, it was obvious that they knew that I wasn’t really a baby. The women in the street could have fooled me; they acted exactly like they would have if they saw a real baby. But these girls had such a sarcasm that I knew they were perfectly aware of my real age. However, this didn’t stop them from having a good time with me.

 

            I heard them say things like:

 

            “Oh he’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen!”

 

            “Look at his little blankie!”

 

            “And he’s sucking a pacifier, just like a baby!”

 

            “Does he wear diapers! Ha ha, maybe he needs a change!”

 

            “I want to give him a bottle!”

 

            Each comment brought on more laughter and whispering among each other. I hoped the nanny would try to fend them off, but she was almost encouraging them, saying, “Oh yes, baby Cody loves his blankie and his paci, and yes, he does need his diapers and his bottle! He is just a baby, after all!”

 

            After more laughter, the girls became more excited and continued to hassle me. I continued to sweat and blush a deep red as they messed with the blanket, pinched my cheek, and looked me in the eye as they cooed and baby-talked me. It was a weird combination of the way they would treat a real baby and the way they would treat a teenage boy who they liked making fun of.

 

            I couldn’t hold it in any more, and my eyes started tearing up again. I tried to yell around the pacifier, but it only made muffled sounds that basically sounded like gibberish. The sight of my tears brought on even more laughter and babyish talk, resulting in such lines as:

 

            “Aww, poor wittle baby!”

 

            “Why is da baby cwying?”

 

            “Does he need his diaper changed?”

 

            After more giggling, to my relief, I heard a woman’s voice say, “Ok, girls, lunch is over!”

 

            After babyishly waving bye to me, the girls left. I felt a combination of shame, embarrassment and anger. These girls, who I was old enough to take out on a date or even fuck, were treating me just like a baby, and even though I felt like punching them all in the face, I was helpless.

 

            The nanny continued to push me along the pathway as my tears dried up. The only thing I could think to tell myself was what Johnny had told me about staying calm. It was extremely difficult, but I managed to basically get over what had just happened.

 

            My day apparently wasn’t over, though, because I was then pushed into one of the buildings. After the nanny pushed me down a hall that we were in, she came up to a door and stopped. She knocked on the door, and I heard footsteps come over to the door.

 

            As the door opened, a saw another woman who was wearing a long blue dress. She looked to be about 40, and her brown hair had slightly turned gray. However, she wasn’t really ugly, just average, really.

 

            She looked at the nanny and said, “I was wondering when you’d get here! We’ve been waiting for you!”

 

            Turning to me, a smile spread across her face (it looked genuine to me), and she said, “And look who we have here! Our special little guy! Oh, he really is adorable! Just look at his cute little face!”

 

            Turning back to the nanny, she said, “Ok, bring him right in!”

 

            As the nanny got behind me, she pushed the stroller into what I realized was a classroom. I saw about twenty more girls sitting behind desks that were lined up, and the woman, who I realized was the teacher, was standing behind a big desk at the front of the room, right next to a blackboard.

 

            As I was pushed in, the talking that had been going on stopped, and immediately all of the girls in the classroom looked at me and started pointing, whispering, and giggling.

 

            “Settle down, girls,” said the teacher. As they quieted down, she said, “I’d like to introduce someone who is going to be helping us out a little bit. This is our new baby in the class. His name is Cody!”

 

            As my cheeks started to burn again, I just helplessly looked at all of the faces that were smiling at me and trying to stifle more giggles. I once again tried to struggle, but yet again, it was useless.

 

            “As you know, ladies,” the teacher began again. “This class is called ‘home economics’. And an important part of this course deals with childcare and raising children. We’ve already covered a lot about childcare, but only a little bit about taking care of babies. Knowing how to care for a baby is a very important part of motherhood, and over the next few weeks we will be covering important topics such as feeding, dressing, and bathing a baby. You will learn how to calm down a crying baby, what makes babies feel safe and secure, and safety rules for babies.”

 

            As she spoke, I felt a heavy feeling in my stomach. In utter horror, I realized that I had to shit. But I was trapped; I knew the only thing I could do was hold it until I was out of here.

 

            “Now normally,” the teacher continued. “We simply use plastic baby dolls to help teach you these skills. But you girls are very lucky. You get a real live baby to practice on!”

 

            I became utterly terrified at her words, and between that and the feeling in my stomach, I felt like fainting.

 

            ‘Stay calm,’ I told myself.

 

            It was at that point that a one of the girls asked a question. I got the impression that she was pretty ditzy.

 

            “But wait a second,” she said. “He’s not a real baby, is he? He looks like he’s our age!”

 

            The teacher just laughed and said, “Laura, you silly girl, let me ask you this; how old are you?”

 

            “Fourteen,” she responded.

 

            “So if Cody was your age, wouldn’t he be fourteen?”

 

            As Laura nodded her head, the teacher continued by saying, “Right. Now, tell me, do fourteen year olds need to be pushed around in strollers?”

 

            Laura gave a nervous laugh and said, “No, of course not,”

 

            “Right. And do they suck pacifiers?”

 

            “No…”

 

            “And it’s pretty obvious that Cody here is being pushed in a stroller and sucking a pacifier. Now, who does things like that?”

 

            “Babies do,” said a girl with a very irritating voice. “So Cody is a baby!”

 

            “Correct, Molly!” said the teacher. “And therefore, Cody will be the baby that will help us out!”

 

            This whole conversation was completely degrading, but I was kind of used to that by now, even if I did have to deal with the girls’ gawking and giggling. I was more worried about what they were going to do to me, and of course, my need to shit was on my mind too.

 

            The teacher then said, “Ok, class, let’s all get up and meet Cody.”

 

            As all of the girls stood up and came closer to me, their reaction was similar to the girls outside; I could tell they knew I was really fourteen, but they seemed to get a real kick out of treating a fourteen year old, especially a boy, like a baby.

 

            “Now, I know Cody is very cute,” said the teacher. “And I know you all want to play with him and hold him, but let me warn you now that taking care of a baby is a lot of work. It is fun and very rewarding, but it’s also hard work.”

 

            Unfortunately, as she said these words, my bowel muscles gave way. With complete horror I felt my diaper fill up with my soft shit, and the nastiness of it pressing up against my ass was disgusting.

 

            Praying that no one would notice, I listened on as they spoke.

 

            “Now if you’ll notice,” the teacher said. “Cody is sucking a pacifier. Babies often need something to suck on to make them content, so if you’re putting a baby to bed or just need to calm down his crying, a pacifier can be useful. We better let Cody keep his because he might start to get fussy if we don’t.”

 

            I was so nervous about my shit that this didn’t even bother me. Unfortunately, I could now smell the nasty stench.

 

            “Babies also need to be kept warm most of the time,” the teacher said. “That’s why you’ll notice that Cody has a blanket...”

 

            “Ewww!” one of the girls yelled. “What’s that smell?”

 

            Another one said, “It’s horrible!”

 

            “It smells like…<giggle>…poop!” said the annoying girl Molly.

 

            As my cheeks burned with the hottest yet, the teacher just smiled and said, “Ah, I think someone has a dirty diaper!”

 

            This caused an eruption of “Ewwwws” and laughter among the girls. As one of them said, “Ewwww, that’s nasty!”, the teacher said, “Ah ah ah, girls, you see, this is what I’m talking about. Babies look very cute, but remember, you have to deal with things like midnight crying and dirty diapers, too. And since it’s come up, I think this is a wonderful opportunity for one of our first lessons: how to change a dirty diaper!”

 

            I couldn’t believe my ears; I reached a new level of panic as my heart pounded strongly in my chest. The mere thought of getting my diaper changed by the teacher with all of the girls watching was enough to make me start sweating again.

 

            As the teacher walked over, she said, “Ok, let’s get the our little stinker up on the changing table.”

 

            To my amazing relief, the nanny interjected and said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hoover, but I think Cody is very tired, and I must take him back to his crib. I’ll change him by myself before I go.”

 

            “Oh, nonsense,” Mrs. Hoover said. “It will be a good lesson for the girls.”

 

            “No, really, I must follow the rules,” the nanny said.

 

            Backing off, Mrs. Hoover said, “Oh, all right then. Ok, girls, say good-bye to baby Cody!”

 

            As the girls giggled again and told me bye, the nanny wheeled me out of the room and into a bathroom. She laid my blanket down on the floor. Afterwards she said, “Listen, Cody, if you put up the slightest fight, I will carry you back into the classroom and let them change you. Then I will spank you in front of all of them. Do you understand?”

 

            Terrified at her words, I agreed to comply. She took me out of the stroller and proceeded to change my shitty diaper, using the supplies from the bag that she had carried with her. Once she was done, she put me back in the stroller with the blanket over top of me.

 

            As she rolled me out of the building and away from the school, she began to speak again.

 

            “You know, Cody, you’ve made it through punishment level 3. However, because of the severity of what you did, tomorrow you have punishment level 4. And I’ll just say that tomorrow, we will come back here, and tomorrow you will not be as lucky as you were today.”

 

            Deeply frightened by what she was talking about, I tried not to think about it as she rolled me back to the main building of the Reconstruction program. After what I had been through the small encounters in the street meant nothing. As we re-entered the building, I was still worried about the next day, but extremely relieved that punishment level 3 was over.

 

Part 9

 

            After I was fed, I was put down for a nap again. To my dismay I woke up with a wet diaper, but after everything I had gone through, I hardly cared anymore. After a quick change I was taken back to the nursery and left on my own for a while. Even though I was a little surprised that they didn’t keep me strapped in the crib for the rest of the day, I wasn’t complaining; maybe they thought that one day’s worth was enough.

 

            I didn’t feel like doing much in the nursery; as bored as the place made me, the activities really weren’t fun most of the time. Besides, I had plenty on my mind, so I just decided to relax and think for a while.

 

            I still couldn’t get a lot of the images from earlier that morning out of my mind. The nanny, the teacher, the girls at the school, and even the people on the street didn’t give a damn about how I felt; they just acted like I was really a baby and it didn’t phase them at all. The girls even found it funny. I got filled with frustration, anger, and embarrassment when I thought about how much I wished I could have met them as my usual self; they were really hot, and I bet I could have convinced any one of them to fuck me. But it just sickened me how they just laughed at my helpless, babyish state and found me “adorable”.

 

            And I didn’t know what the hell was up with the people on the street. Why hadn’t they freaked out when they saw me, a fourteen year old boy, being pushed around in a stroller. My only guess was that I couldn’t have been the first kid to be publicly treated like a baby; after all, punishment level 3 must not have been a new thing.

 

            What was funny about the whole punishment was how it affected me; it actually filled me with anger more than anything else. The previous two punishments had torn down my pride and made me cry in humiliation; Johnny had explained that this was supposed to drive me to find comfort in the babyish pleasures surrounding me. But now, I just felt like killing the people who put me through this, and unlike before, I had no desire to even get near that stupid teddy bear.

 

            I wondered whether or not this was the effect that McPherson had wanted. I mean, wouldn’t he expect me to just feel horribly humiliated like before? Was it a good thing (for me) that I was pissed off like this?

 

            Or was that their goal after all? Was getting pissed off like this just another part of the decoding process?

 

            The only thing I felt sure of was that (as much as I didn’t want to admit it) Johnny’s advice about staying calm was wise. I mean, as long as I didn’t let the whole thing get to me, I had a much better chance of fighting the system.

 

            Thinking about Johnny just pissed me off even more. It was his damn fault that I had to go through all of this in the first place. Why the hell didn’t he just tell me how he managed to escape the decoding process? “I wasn’t ready yet”…what kind of shit was that?

 

            But then I realized something; when I had asked him, I had felt like I was going crazy. I loved holding the teddy bear, I was sucking my thumb, I even had fun getting my diaper changed with him. But now that punishment level 3 was over, I was just filled with hatred, and I had no desire to be a baby whatsoever. I didn’t even want to play with the cars!

 

            Had Johnny known this would happen? Did he cause all of this to help me fight the system? Or was he just being an asshole and screwing with me and my mind even more? I couldn’t figure him out.

 

            Either way, I knew that I still had two punishments up ahead of me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about punishment level 4. Level 3 had been the worst thing yet; public humiliation, especially in front of the girls, had easily been the most humiliating thing of my life. But it wasn’t over; I knew from what the nanny had told me that I would be going back the next day, and to make things truly worse, she had hinted that I would have to get my diaper changed in front of the girls.

 

            I began to get really nervous about the whole idea. For those few seconds earlier today I had thought the teacher was going to change my shitty diaper in front of the whole class. During those seconds, I almost fainted. But whereas I had escaped it this day, I wouldn’t be able to the next one.

 

            The idea terrified me. Not only would I be naked in front of the whole class, but I would be displayed as even more helpless because it would prove that I actually used the diapers and needed to have them changed. I was filled with fear as I thought about being wiped in front of all of them and having to deal with comments about my stinky diapers.

 

            But as I thought about it more and more, I began to calm down. I had been through so much already, so this could only be so bad. Besides, it would be over in a few minutes; at most it takes five minutes to change a diaper.

 

            I began to wonder why the nanny had made the comment, and whether or not it had been a good thing for me. Was it something that just slipped? Or did she hope that it would psyche me out and make me nervous, possibly pushing the decoding process even further?

 

            I couldn’t tell whether or not I was glad that she had told me; it was nice to know what was up ahead and be spared the shock of it, but at the same time it still scared me.

            

            I would find out the next day that there were still more shocks to come.

 

            After wasting the time in the nursery, I was fed a few more times, changed, and then put down to sleep (as much as I hated to admit it, these things didn’t really bother me any more…believe it or not, you can only have your diaper changed so many times until it becomes old news). It was irritating how easy it was for me to fall asleep with the pacifier in my mouth, especially since I was still getting about sixteen hours of sleep a day. I tried not to think about how much I had already been physically decoded.

 

            The next morning came, and like the previous one, I was changed, bathed, and spoon-fed. After I was once again dressed in clothes fit for going out (and surprisingly enough, a disposable diaper rather than a cloth one), I was put back into the stroller (which didn’t really surprise me, since I had assumed we would be going back to the school). Interestingly enough, it was the same nanny that had taken me before who was going to take me to the school again.

 

            It’s funny how things are never as bad the second time through; to be honest, I wasn’t that bothered by the fact I was being pushed along in a stroller with a pacifier in my mouth and a baby blanket draped over me. Maybe it was because it wasn’t new to me like it had been the day before, maybe it was because less people stopped to remark how cute of a baby I was, maybe it was because I kept telling myself to stay calm, or maybe it was just because I was nervous as hell about returning to the school. Whatever it was, I was hardly phased by my adventure through town.

 

            However, my nerves reached a peak as we once again went through the gates of the Catholic school for girls. Thankfully, this time none of the girls were outside when we went through; we reached the door to the classroom building without being stopped.

 

            Just like before I was pushed down the hall towards the classroom. Before the nanny knocked, she bent down in front of me and said, “Now Cody, you will do EVERYTHING the teacher tells you to do today, or you will be VERY sorry.”

 

            With that, she knocked on the door, and we were once again greeted by the teacher, Mrs. Hoover. As the nanny rolled me into the classroom, I once again was overwhelmed with nervousness as they stared and began to giggle.

 

            Mrs. Hoover then addressed the class. “Ok, girls, look who’s here! Now that Cody is with us, we will get a chance to practice everything I’ve been telling you about this morning. Our first lesson: how to bottle-feed a baby.

 

            “Ok, girls, gather ‘round while I get Cody ready. Molly,” she told that stupid annoying girl. “Get me that baby bottle full of milk, will you?”

 

            As Molly gave an annoying smile, she said, “Yes, Mrs. Hoover,” as she retrieved a baby bottle on a nearby table.

 

            Meanwhile, Mrs. Hoover leaned over me with a smile across her face. After taking the blanket off of me, she released me from the stroller.

 

            I had an urge to fight her and escape, but I knew that it would have been pointless, and it would only end up making these really bad for me, especially considering what the nanny had told me a few minutes earlier. Besides, Mrs. Hoover didn’t really seem to be making an effort to degrade me; she basically acted like I was an actual baby.

 

            She continued to smile at me as she lifted me my the armpits and said, “Ok, wittle fella, time for you to get your ba-ba!” I was embarrassed by this, but I didn’t really feel anger towards her; it was kind of hard to hate someone who was just treating you nicely (which was weird, considering how much I hated the nannies).

 

            As she shifted me so that she was holding me in her arms (with my legs on one side of her and my head on the other). She carried me over to a large easy chair as the girls circled around us.

 

            As Molly brought the bottle over, Mrs. Hoover explained how to hold a baby and that normally you should warm up a bottle. She then undid my pacifier, and even lightly pinched my cheek with a smile. She then took the bottle and slowly inserted it into my mouth.

 

            I wasn’t hungry, but I guessed that this was probably just normal milk. Again, I wanted to resist, but I knew it would do no good, so I just told myself to stay calm as I ignored all of the giggles and “awws” from the girls. Mrs. Hoover pulled the bottle out of my mouth after only a few seconds, and to my surprise, she stood up and put me over her shoulder.

 

            As she began to pat my back, to my great surprise, I let out a burp! As Mrs. Hoover told the girls about burping babies, I was just filled with awe that I had actually been burped! (the nannies never bothered to do it) I was embarrassed by this new form of babyhood, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

            Mrs. Hoover then asked for a volunteer, and one of the girls stepped forward. After Mrs. Hoover handed me over to the girl, she instructed her about how to hold me. It was kind of interesting; even though my collar made me extremely light, the girl still had a little trouble holding me since I was so big. But she got a hold of me, and just like Mrs. Hoover, she proceeded to bottle-feed me.

 

            Yet again, I was tempted to resist, especially since the girl wasn’t as confident in what she was doing as Mrs. Hoover or the nannies. But I once again refrained. And it wasn’t all that bad being bottle fed by the girl. She was pretty, and she didn’t laugh at me or go out of her way to baby me. It was kind of like a real girlfriend holding me, except that I was really in her arms and she was feeding me a baby bottle. I noticed that her name was Tracy since that’s what Mrs. Hoover called her.

 

            She tried to burp me as well, but she had a hard time getting me over her shoulder. But she was also able to make me burp, and once she did, she passed me on to the next girl.

 

            Each girl proceeded to do the same thing, all under Mrs. Hoover’s direction. But each time was different. Some girls were obviously more experienced, and despite my large size, they easily positioned me, bottle-fed me, and burped me. Others struggled, although none of them dropped me (but the ditzy girl, Laura, came very close to doing just that). I also didn’t burp every time; sometimes Mrs. Hoover would just tell a girl to stop after about ten pats. Laura almost beat me to death before I let out a soft little burp.

 

            Some girls were just concerned with getting the job done. Unfortunately, others got great pleasure from treating me like a baby, resorting to pinching my cheeks or cooing or baby-talking me. To make matters worse, Mrs. Hoover encouraged this, and it made the whole thing even more embarrassing. Molly was the worst; she had obviously dealt with babies before. She arrogantly grabbed me, somewhat forcefully stuffed the bottle in my mouth and said in a babyish voice, “Now drink up baby Cody!” After removing the bottle she patted me on the cheek and said, “Good baby!” She then swiftly threw me over her shoulder and gave me a few firm pats on the back, which resulted in a fairly loud burp.

 

            Once all the girls had gone (again, there were about twenty of them) and the bottle was empty, Mrs. Hoover moved on to spoon-feeding. She took over to a makeshift highchair that had a little table attached to the front of it. After strapping me in she tied a bib around my neck as she explained to the girls some of the techniques of spoon-feeding.

 

            She then proceeded to give me a few spoonfuls of baby food, even resorting to some stupid baby games like “Here comes the airplane!” As much as I hated this, I had long since learned that the best way to deal with spoon-feedings was just to swallow the stuff and get it over with as soon as possible.

 

            Like the bottle-feeding, each girl got a chance to spoon-feed me. For the most part, it actually wasn’t that big of a deal; true the airplane game (Mrs. Hoover told each girl to try it) was annoying, and my arms were still firmly held in place by the table, but it really wasn’t so bad.

 

            Unfortunately, some girls didn’t have such good aim, and they ended up spilling some of the gunk around my mouth and bib. This made it look like I was the one making the mess, making me look even more babyish. But Mrs. Hoover soon instructed them to wipe my mouth with the bib and it wasn’t the hugest deal.

 

            Laura managed to knock over the bottle of baby-food, and she somehow got baby food in my hair when she was trying to spoon-feed me. Tracy, on the other hand, did a very good job, and she just gave me a kind smile as she finished and said to me, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

 

            But of course, Molly was a complete bitch. She firmly shoved the spoon in my mouth before I was ready, which made me spit out most of the baby food. Remarking about how much of a mess I was making, Molly wiped my mouth off and continued to forcefully feed me. I felt like slapping her, and my anger just resulted in even more of a mess. As she finished, Molly just said, “Cody’s just a messy wittle baby, isn’t’ he?” as she gave me a condescending smile.

 

            Because of lack of time and equipment, Mrs. Hoover skipped everything else except for my biggest fear, which was of course diaper changing. To my surprise I noticed that I was wet, which just made matters worse.

 

            Maybe this is what led to Mrs. Hoover deciding to do diaper changing next. She remarked how I was a wet baby, which of course led to more “ewwws” and giggles, and to my dismay she picked me up by the armpits and carried me over to a changing table that was in the corner of the room.

 

            I was so nervous that I began to shake, and I had to use every bit of will power I had to stay calm and not try to escape. As Mrs. Hoover strapped down my upper body, the girls gathered around to watch, and I just closed my eyes as I tried to hold on to whatever dignity I had left.

            

            But as Mrs. Hoover unsnapped the bottom of my sleeper (that’s what I had been wearing), I couldn’t stop myself. I began to cry at the thought of having my diaper changed in front of all the girls and having all of them see me naked. Some of the girls were just shocked to see me cry, some giggled, and some just said, “aww”.

 

            Mrs. Hoover used the opportunity to explain to the girls that a baby will often cry when it is hungry or needs a diaper change, and that sometimes babies cry when you try to change them. She took a baby rattle and shook it in front of my face as she smiled at me, trying to calm me down in the same way she would a baby. Of course this didn’t comfort me at all, so she explained that sometimes a pacifier is the best thing. As she popped it into my mouth, she whispered for me to suck on it. I was still afraid at what would happen if I didn’t, so I sucked on it, which muffled my crying. Mrs. Hoover then smiled and said, “See? Sometimes that’s all little babies need to calm them down.”

 

            After she explained how she had unfastened my sleeper, I just closed my eyes and tried to zone out everything. I tried to ignore her explanations of how you un-tape a disposable diaper, but I still cringed when she said most babies wore disposables nowadays and that I just wore cloth ones because I was a “heavy wetter”. But the worst was when she finally undid the tapes, lifted up my legs and removed my wet diaper.

 

            The girls had a mix of reactions. Some said “ewww” as Mrs. Hoover disposed of the wet diaper, but most burst into fits of giggles as I could tell they were looking at my shaved privates. I felt my face burning red with shame as they seemed to be unable to control their girlish giggles. I could tell through her voice that Mrs. Hoover kept her composure; she just said, “Now stop being immature, girls. As you know by now, girls and boys don’t have the same anatomy, and when you bathe a boy or change his diaper, you will have to accept that. Stop being silly, after all, Cody is just a baby. However,” she said with a small giggle of her own. “When you change a boy’s diaper, you should be prepared; they do have…aimers.”

 

            This made me go even more red as I heard the girls giggle again and felt the cool air on my pubic area. I just continued to try to ignore everything as Mrs. Hoover continued, wishing the whole thing would just end.

 

            After explaining about how to dispose of used diapers, Mrs. Hoover explained how important it was to clean babies with baby wipes. I then felt a cold baby wipe rubbing my stomach, thighs, and to my utter dismay, dick, balls, and even my ass. Again trying to block out the giggles, I was thankful that she was done with that part.

 

            She then explained how creams, oils, lotions, and powders were important to prevent diaper rash, and I felt her shake some powder onto my genitals. She lifted me up and did the same with my ass, and the giggles continued to persist.

 

            I had been changed so many times that I knew that at least the end was near. I could hear Mrs. Hoover unfold a new disposable diaper, and I felt her slide it up under my waist. After explaining how to unfold a diaper and which end goes on the front and the back, she pulled it up between my legs and taped on one side and then the other, explaining what she was doing the whole time. Thankful to be clothed again (even if it was a diaper), I was filled with relief as Mrs. Hoover explained how to refasten a sleeper and then did so.

 

            I was so happy that the ordeal was over that I sighed in relief. That’s probably why Mrs. Hoover’s next words freaked me out so much.

 

            “Ok girls,” she said. “Now it’s your turn. But since we don’t have much time, plus I want to have a little fun, we’ll have a little contest: we’ll see who can change Cody’s diaper the fastest!”

 

            I gulped in terror as the girls excitedly chattered and giggled.

 

            “We won’t worry about powdering since that will just get out of hand,” Mrs. Hoover continued. “But each one of you will have to undo Cody’s sleeper, take off his diaper, wipe EVERYWHERE on him that needs to be cleaned, and then put a new diaper on him and refasten his sleeper. To save diapers, we’ll just alternate between two of them, and since the tapes tend to wear out, you’ll have to make sure you attach them very tightly!”

 

            I almost whined in fright, but I reached deep down inside me and managed to stay calm. As the first girl approached, I once again closed my eyes. I heard Mrs. Hoover yell “Go!”, and I felt the girl quickly unfasten my sleeper and move on to un-tape my diaper.

 

            I don’t know why, but I guess my curiosity just got the best of me, because I found myself watching her as she changed my diaper. She was so determined that she didn’t even take much notice of me. She worked quickly, even when she wiped me, but she fumbled with the new diaper, which ended up slowing her down.

 

            Most the girls were about the same, and some even looked more nervous than me. Most had trouble dealing with my large legs, but they all did about the same as the first girl. Thankfully, when changing me, almost none of them giggled at seeing me naked, and they were so into what they did that it actually wasn’t quite as embarrassing as I had thought it would be.

 

            Lauren of course had trouble. She easily had the slowest time, because she struggled to unfasten my sleeper, didn’t really know how to wipe me, and she put the new diaper on backwards before finally getting it right.

 

            Tracy did an overall good job, despite the fact that I think she had never changed a diaper before. She wiped me gently and with care and snugly refastened my new diaper with an almost perfect feeling. After she refastened my sleeper, Mrs. Hoover announced that Tracy had the fastest time. Afterwards, Tracy just reached over me, stroked my hair and said, “Here’s lookin’ at you, baby,” with a cute smile. To my surprise, this actually made me feel good, and to my ultimate surprise, I think I was starting to fall for Tracy a little bit!

 

            I didn’t have time to process this because it was the last girl’s turn, and it was Molly. She looked very determined, and I knew she wanted to win the contest very badly.

 

            That’s why when Mrs. Hoover told her to go, I felt a devilish grin go across my face. Because to my joy, I knew that I had to pee…

 

            After Molly quickly un-taped my first diaper, she wiped me down all over with extreme speed. But as she leaned over to get the next diaper, I just let it go. She screamed in horror and disgust as my piss squirted all over her the front of her shirt and her face. The class burst into enormous laughter and I even noticed that Mrs. Hoover couldn’t control her laughter. As Molly yelled “Ewwww!!!!” and tried to wipe it off of herself. She was furious and glared at me with anger.

 

            I wish that I had just stayed calm and acted like it had been an accident. But I couldn’t control my own laughter and I merrily laughed at her soaked state.

 

            This would have been fine, but the nanny (who was still there) walked over and said, “Oh, you think you’re funny, don’t you little baby? Well, we need to teach you a lesson.”

 

            The laughter immediately calmed down as the nanny un-strapped me, and I immediately went into shock. Without bothering to even re-diaper me, the nanny firmly picked me up, and before I knew it, she had put me over her knee.

 

            “Now wait a minute,” Mrs. Hoover said. “Cody’s just a baby, you know he can’t help it if…that happens when he’s being changed. I did warn the girls…”

 

            “No,” the nanny said. “Cody did that on purpose, and he will be punished for it!”

 

            Horrified, I spat out my pacifier and screamed “Nooooo!!!! You can’t spank me!”

 

            I think the girls were kind of shocked to hear my normal voice, but they were even more shocked when the nanny began to spank my bare ass. I could see Molly laughing as this happened, but she was one of the few who did. Although I couldn’t prevent myself from crying, screaming, and going red, I got a very tiny bit of comfort in that the other girls merely looked shocked, and that they weren’t laughing. Later I would realize that they had actually grown to like me and that they had enjoyed babying me!

 

            But in the meantime, I just continued to scream in pain and embarrassment as the spanking continued. Once it was over, the nanny quickly re-diapered me while the class watched in silence. My cries had been reduced to whimpers, and I just softly complied as the nanny picked me back up and re-tied the pacifier around my head. After forcefully throwing me back in my stroller, the nanny angrily said, “There, now you girls have a lesson in what you do with naughty little babies. We will see all of you tomorrow!”

 

            With that, she quickly rolled me out of the classroom as I heard frantic whispers coming from the girls. As she rolled me down the hall, “Well, I’m glad you thought you were so funny, you naughty little baby. That’s what you get for your little joke…”

 

            But she was cut off by the last person that I expected to see. There, right in front of us, was Tammy.

 

            She looked kind of frantic. “Quick!” she told the nanny. “You’re needed back at the nursery! I’m told it’s very important!”

 

            The nanny then said, “Oh! I’ll bring Cody right over!”

 

            “No time!” Tammy said. “You must go now!”

 

            “Then what about Cody?” She was clearly upset that she wouldn’t get to humiliate me anymore.

 

            “I’ll take him. I can bring him down to the park and show him off to everybody for about an hour.”

 

            The nanny smiled at the thought of me being publicly embarrassed even more. “All right then. But remember, only for about an hour!”

 

            “Right,” Tammy said, grabbing the back of my stroller.

 

            “Ok, I’d better go,” the nanny said. With that, she hurried down the hall and out of the door.

 

            “All right then, mister,” Tammy said to me. “Let’s take you down to the park. I may have some things to tell you.”

 

            I really had no choice but to sit there as Tammy pushed me down the hall because I was still strapped in the stroller with the pacifier in my mouth. This was difficult because my mind was racing considering the hell I had just been through as well as my shock of seeing Tammy.

 

            As Tammy rolled me outside the building and then off of the school grounds, I began to think a little more clearly. I knew Tammy was not a normal nanny, and I was pretty sure that she thought this whole system was as fucked up as I did. My head began to overflow with questions I wanted to ask her, so I was extremely frustrated at not being able to. I began to struggle and make muffled sounds to try to get her attention. She noticed and apparently knew what I was getting at because she whispered, “Cody, not now. It’s not safe to talk just yet.”

 

            What the hell did that mean? I couldn’t find out just yet, so I just had to continue to endure being rolled down the street.

 

            After what felt like hours (but was probably only about ten minutes), Tammy rolled me into a nice, quaint little park. There were a bunch of kids playing around with their parents on a little playground area, a few couples were relaxing and talking on a pretty large field, and a few people were playing catch on a baseball field. Tammy rolled me over to a bench and sat down facing me.

 

            “All right, listen up,” she said in quiet voice. “We don’t have much time, only about forty-five minutes. I’m going to take your pacifier out, but you have to promise me you’ll stay calm and quiet, ok? If not, both of us will be in a lot of trouble. If you haven’t noticed, everyone here acts just like you’re a real baby, and if they don’t think you’re acting like one, there will be hell to pay.”

 

            I nodded my head. Although I didn’t think I could get into any more trouble, Tammy was the only normal person (other than Johnny, who I was still pissed at) that I had to talk to, so I didn’t want her in trouble either.

 

            She untied my pacifier, and as soon as she did, I didn’t know what to ask her first. Before I could say anything, she said, “Well, I guess you’re wondering why I’ve taken you here. Well, it’s really the only safe place to talk. The people who run this stupid system are extremely strict about it, so they’re always watching at the main building, and this was the only chance I’ve had in a long time to talk to one of the kids here.”

 

            “Watching?!” I asked. I was extremely relieved that Tammy was indeed on my side, but I was also alarmed at this information.

 

            “Oh yeah,” she responded. “They’ve got cameras all over that place, and even though they don’t watch them or even turn them on all of the time, there’s no way of knowing when they’re not.”

 

            I was shocked as hell to hear this information. It made sense, but I had never thought about them actually watching over the kids. I felt really weird knowing that they might have been watching me when I thought to myself in the nursery or played with the toys.

 

            I then realized that they could have been watching when I talked to Johnny. But if they had been, why had they not done something about him telling me all about the system?

 

            I didn’t have time to further process this information, because Tammy continued by saying, “When I heard you were going to go through punishment levels 3 and 4, I knew this would be one of the few chances I would get to talk to one of you kids. I actually created the ‘urgent situation’ at the nursery. It’s not that big of a deal; I just let a few of the kids loose in the halls. It was really fortunate actually; I overheard one of the nannies saying how they were turning the cameras off in one of the crib rooms today, so I woke up about ten boys and let them crawl away down the hall. It’s not like it mattered, since like you’ve probably noticed, they’re really just like babies. But the people in charge of the system always overreact to this kind of thing. I think they think that if one of the kids hurts himself it will completely screw over the reconstruction process…”

 

            But I cut her off by saying, “Who exactly are you?”

 

            She paused, took a deep breath, and then said, “Well, my name is Tammy Reynolds. I guess my involvement in all of this began about ten years ago, when I was about fifteen. I was pretty popular at my school and I always hung out with the same group of kids. We were all pretty bad kids…a lot like you and the type of kids who go through this program. Time and time again we’d drive our parents crazy by going out and getting drunk, doing drugs at parties, not really caring too much in school. Well, at least my friends didn’t. I managed to make pretty good grades despite my behavior.

 

            “We never really thought much about it, though. We were kids, so what if we weren’t perfect little angels, what did it matter? My boyfriend was the worst…he’d pick fights with anybody and he did so badly in school that he should have just dropped out. His parents were extremely worried about him, saying they were afraid that he would never amount to anything, and they hated him hanging around me and our friends.

 

            “For a while, everything was ok. But one day, my boyfriend didn’t show up to school. We just figured he was skipping again, but when we went to his house, he wasn’t there either. We didn’t see him for a few days. I would call his house but get no answer.

 

            “Me and my friends really began to get worried. We were afraid something had happened to him. Some of my friends said they still saw his parents around, so we knew it was just him. After about a week I couldn’t take it and one night I just went to his parents house, busted through the door, and started screaming at them, telling them to tell me where he was. At first they threatened to call the cops so I left. But I kept coming back, and I eventually realized they were too spineless to do anything about it, so one night I forced his mom to tell me.

            

            “All I got out of her was that they had sent him away to a ‘special’ school, called The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths. This meant nothing to me, but she said she had no idea where it was, and I couldn’t get anything else out of her.

 

            “Of course I was completely heartbroken and furious. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days, and I don’t think any of my friends could either. Even after talking to my boyfriend’s mom a few more times, I still couldn’t get anything else out of her.

 

            “Years passed. What could I do? The only thing was that I swore I’d find him and bust him out of whatever school he was at. I graduated from high school, and decided I wanted to work for the government to hopefully find out more about everything…that’s how strongly I felt about it.

 

            “Fortunately, one day, his parents contacted me and said that he was coming home. I was ecstatic; I rushed over to their house as fast as I could.

 

            “But the sight there was simply horrifying. I couldn’t believe my eyes; there my boyfriend was, about four years older than he was when I had last seen him. But that wasn’t all that was changed about him; I was dumbstruck as I saw him, strapped into a huge baby stroller and wearing baby clothes with a pacifier strapped in his mouth.

 

            “There were a few women with him, each acting just like he was a real baby. His parents seemed to be delighted, gleefully exclaiming how cute he was. Even some of our old friends who I hadn’t seen in years were there. But I couldn’t believe it; they weren’t comforting him, but laughing at him! I guess they hadn’t seen him for so long that they didn’t care about him any more.

 

            “I was filled with anger, panic and grief. ‘What the FUCK have you done to him?!’ I screamed. I completely lost control as I ran over to him, tears running down my face. As I looked at him, even though the pacifier was in his mouth, I could see in his eyes that he felt this was just as fucked up as I did. But he was helpless…he couldn’t do anything.

 

            “But the rest of the people didn’t seem to notice, and one of the women said ‘Now Tammy, calm down, you don’t want to make the baby fussy.’

 

            “ ‘What the fuck is wrong with you people?!’ I screamed. ‘He’s not a baby! He’s my boyfriend!’

 

            “But they just held me back and led me out of the house with me screaming at the top of my lungs, and by the time I made it back there again, he was gone.

 

            “I was filled with a new passion. I just had to find out where this place was and help him…he had nobody else. Using my new connections, I eventually found out about what the system was, and how it basically worked. I even found out how the nannies got there jobs there. For a few more grueling years, I went through the process to become a nanny, and I almost didn’t get the job.

 

            “It was horrible to me. I had never minded taking care of babies, but I was still extremely disgusted by the whole system. To pass the test, I had to take care of a teenage boy who acted exactly like a baby. I almost lost my cool; I felt so sorry for the poor kid. But he acted just like a real baby, and I managed to do everything for him.

 

            “Once I got the job, I had to wait a few weeks before I could do anything. It was a very hard time; I had to take care of a whole bunch of teenage babies before I even got a glimpse of my boyfriend.

 

            “Finally, I got a chance to see him. I was overwhelmed with joy at seeing him, but yet again I felt pity for him in his situation. As I got the chance to hold him, I expected him to just yell out to me or at least act surprised to see me. But to my utmost horror, he just looked at me exactly like a baby would. As I tried to get his attention, he just made babyish gurgles and happily sucked his thumb. I couldn’t believe it; just like all of the other kids, he had been turned into a baby.

 

            “I experienced heartbreak. After all of those years, I had finally found him, but he was now a baby. It was horrible. I almost just ran away, never wanting to come back to the completely fucked up nursery building. But even if he was basically a baby, I just couldn’t make myself leave the place. It was bittersweet the few times I got to take care of him. I was extremely happy just to be around him, but I couldn’t stand to see him as a helpless baby who needed me to feed him a baby bottle or change his diaper.

 

            “Eventually I learned more and more about the whole reconstruction system, how it worked, and how things went down. Every now and then a new kid would come in, but I never got a chance to talk with them. I not only would have been fired, but even possibly arrested. There was even a chance that I could have been thrown into the program (‘So there were programs for girls’, I thought).

 

            “So why am I still here? Because I couldn’t stand what happened to my boyfriend, and I wanted to do everything I could to take down this fucked up system and help the poor kids who went through it. Sure, they’re all messed up kids who need a lot of discipline, but no one deserves this. This program is inhumane and cruel.”

 

            “So what have you been doing to take down the program?” I asked.

 

            “Well,” she said. “It’s really tough. Legally, there’s nothing that can be done. The government does run it, and they keep it extremely well hidden. Only the people of the towns in which the programs are located know about them.”

 

            “Why the fuck don’t they do anything about it?” I asked. “Why do they act just like I’m a baby?”

 

            “Because they agree with the system,” she said. “The program spits out all of this propaganda to them, painting you kids as horrible criminals that would rob them or kill their children. They know you’re bad kids; they just think that this is a suitable punishment for you.”

 

            “And they keep outsiders out of this small town. Sure people pass through, but none ever find out about the program. They actually monitor these little visits like the ones you’ve been having so that people don’t find out.”

 

            “But hasn’t SOMEBODY told someone about the program?” I asked.

 

            “Yes, but no one ever believes them. It sounds preposterous, doesn’t it? And besides, the people in the town are told they’ll be arrested if they tell anyone and are caught. It scares people, and besides, they have no problem with the program anyway. And the people just tell their kids that the big boys treated like babies really like being treated like babies and are very happy about it. Even the girls up at the school don’t care. They either believe you like being a baby, or they think you’re a horrible criminal and think it’s extremely funny that you’re being treated like a baby and can’t do anything about it.”

 

            “So what can you do about all of this?” I asked hopelessly.

 

            “Well, it is possible to do something playing by their rules. In some cases, if a kid fights the decoding process long enough, they give him a chance to prove that the experience truly has changed him and that he’ll change his life for the better.

 

            “But he has to do a lot of things to prove this. They first get together a bunch of his old friends, family and teachers together. Footage of his stay at the program is shown, footage of him being bottle-fed, sleeping in a crib, playing with baby toys and teddy bears, and even having his diaper changed. While it is shown, he must admit that before the program, he was just a big baby, and the program treated him like one. He has to say that he totally deserved it and he was glad that it happened.

 

            “If he does all of that, as long as his parents consent, for a full month he has to let them treat him like a baby to prove the point. After that, he is potty-trained and brought back up to being a normal person again. He either has to re-enroll in school or get a job; if he fails to do well or resorts back to any of his old habits, he is thrown back into the program.”

 

            I was dumbstruck at hearing all of this. “So that’s the best case scenario?” I asked.

 

            “I know it’s extremely harsh, but it’s the only way out of all of this that I’ve found. So I’ve tried to help kids like you, Cody. I’ve tried to sneak them away from the cameras and tell them to fight the decoding system as long as they can. So far, none have lasted. I’ve only heard about kids being allowed to leave the program, I’ve never seen it happen.”

 

            As I tried to take all of this in, I couldn’t even think of anything to say.

            

            “Well Cody,” Tammy said. “I think we’re about out of time, I had better get you back. But remember, if you want a chance out of here, no matter what, you have to fight the decoding process. It’s the only way that you have a chance of doing anything. You’re already doing so well. I’ve never gotten a chance to talk to any kid like this, so I hope that it won’t be in vain.”

 

            I could only nod as I saw her wipe a tear away from her eye. Still speechless, I just sat there as she said, “Well, I guess we better put this back in.” She took my pacifier, put it in my mouth and strapped it around my head again.

 

            She began to wheel me out of the park, but as she did, two kids ran up to us. One was a boy, and the other was a girl. Both looked like they were about seven years old.

 

            “Look at the baby!” yelled the little girl.

 

            “He’s not very big. He’s in a baby stroller,” said the boy.

 

            “And he loves his pacifier,” Tammy said. I was shocked. ‘What the fuck?’ I thought.

 

            “He looks happy,” said the girl. Leaning closer she put her hand on my face and said, “Look at da cute wittle bay-bee boy!”

 

            “Does he wear …<giggle>…diapers?” asked the boy.

 

            “He sure does,” said Tammy. “Remember, Cody’s only a little baby, not a big boy like you.” I was appalled. What the hell was wrong with Tammy? I could feel my cheeks burning as the kids pressed on.

 

            “That’s right!” said the boy. “I’m a big boy”

 

            “And I’m a big girl!” said the girl. “I don’t have to wear diapers like the little baby there! He’s just a little baby!”

 

            “You’re exactly right,” said Tammy. “But it’s time for Cody’s nap right now, so I better put him in his crib.”

 

            “Make sure he has his blankie!” said the boy as Tammy rolled me away.

 

            “And his teddy bear!” yelled the girl.

 

            “Oh I will,” said Tammy.

 

            Once we were out of earshot, Tammy whispered, “Sorry about that. But I can’t arouse any suspicion, even with kids.”

 

            Understanding her point, I just sat back and relaxed as Tammy took me back to the main building. Once inside, she unstrapped me from the stroller, took out my pacifier, and carried me back to the nursery.

 

            After setting me down, she said, “Bye bye, BABY Cody,” she said with a wink before turning around and leaving me there with my head swimming with thoughts.

 

Part 10

 

            Unsurprisingly, all of the information Tammy had told me was the biggest thing on my mind. It looked like things were going in a positive direction for a change. Even though I had no idea what she was capable of doing, at least there was someone who was doing something in order to get me out of here. And she had managed to fool everybody this far, so she definitely had some skills.

 

            Her story was chilling. I could only imagine what it must be like to have someone you’re close to be turned into a baby. It reminded me how fucked up this program was. But it was even more chilling to think that that there was what looked to be a strong chance that I might be turned into the baby as well. I shuddered as I thought about Tammy’s boyfriend’s parents and how happy they had been to treat him like a baby. What if that was to be my future?

 

            I resolved to do what Tammy said and continue to fight the system no matter what. I now had hope, and as long as I managed to continue to refuse to give in, I could get out of here.

 

            On top of all of this, I couldn’t help but continue to think about what had happened during punishment level 4. Having a bunch of girls shove a baby bottle in your mouth and have a contest changing your diaper isn’t something that escapes your mind too quickly.

 

            But it was kind of funny; compared to punishment level 3, the day hadn’t been too hard. Sure, Molly was a fucking bitch, and it was pretty bad when I got spanked, but being babied by all of the girls hadn’t been all that bad (well, at least when compared to what I had already experienced). As weird as it felt, I was actually kind of used to having my diapers changed and being bottle-fed and spoon-fed. Having a bunch of girls do it instead of nannies wasn’t all that different, even if it was a whole group of them goggling at me.

 

            In fact, to my great surprise, it had actually been kind of nice compared to what I had already been through. I couldn’t shake the impression that the girls had genuinely liked me, even though it may have been in the same way they would have “liked” a baby. When I actually thought about it, I don’t know if I could remember anyone feeling like that towards me. I had never really had any serious girlfriends, most of them were just fuck-buddies. And I never felt my parents truly showed me any affection, even if they did worry about me all of the time. Even my friends always acted like bad asses and never really told me I was a good friend.

 

            Had it really been all that bad to get a lot of attention from all of those girls? Was getting my diaper changed by them really horrible? I suddenly remembered Tracy and felt a weird feeling in my stomach as I remembered her feeding me the bottle and putting the diaper on me. I began to wonder what it would be like if she did it again…

 

            With a jolt my train of thought completely shifted. What the fuck was I thinking? I didn’t want to be treated like a baby! It was fucking stupid! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ I thought.

 

            I began to wonder if that’s what punishment level 4 was meant to make me feel. Was I supposed to like the attention from the girls? Was getting my diaper changed supposed to be something enjoyable rather than humiliating? Maybe their goal was not to embarrass me, but to warm me up to being treated like a baby? Was this another trick to make me give into the system? I began to feel disgusted with myself for even considering getting pleasure out of the experience.

 

            Once again I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy. I didn’t know what to think anymore, what I was supposed to think or what I should think.

 

            Taking a deep breathe, I decided the one thing that always seemed to work was to stay calm. No matter what they wanted me to do, keeping my composure seemed to be the best way to resist the system.

 

            I thought of Johnny. Anger burned inside me when I pictured his devilish smile, and I deeply resented the fact that I was still taking his advice. I then wondered if he knew about Tammy and her whole agenda here. If so, why hadn’t he told me about her, and why hadn’t she ever mentioned him. I felt stupid that I hadn’t her about him or told her about my interactions with him.

 

            But then I decided I was glad I hadn’t said anything. I couldn’t see how it was possible that they knew about each other. And that meant that she wouldn’t try to help him get out, but she was helping me.

 

            ‘Good’ I thought. ‘Let his stupid ass stay here forever. He thinks he’s so damn smart, having figured out this damn system. Tammy will help me out of here and he’ll be stuck, forced to trick those damn nannies until they figure him out, and then his ass will be in deep shit. Yeah, that’s what’ll happen’.

 

            I began to think about the possibility of Tammy getting me out of here. As much as it sickened me to have to tell everyone I knew that I was a baby and that I deserved this (in addition to have my parents baby me for a month), but compared to the prospect of staying here, it sounded like a wonderful thing. I didn’t know if I could get my act together, but that would be something to worry about when I got there.

 

            ‘Or “if” I got there’ I reminded myself. I still had to fight the system until Tammy could get me out. And then I remembered that I still had punishment level 5 to deal with the next day. I couldn’t think of what else they could do to me, and given the relative ease of level 4, I kept myself from worrying too much.

 

            The rest of the day was basically the same old thing. It was hard to believe how much I had gotten used to the baby treatment, but at the same time it was hard to believe that any of this was actually happening at all. But it still felt kind of funny to think that having my diaper changed was just a regular day-to-day activity. But I wasn’t really complaining; it was kind of nice knowing that I didn’t experience hell every time I was forced to wear baby clothes or suck a pacifier.

 

            After all the other events of the day (which included a nap), I was put to bed (or “put to crib”, I guess). I dreamt many dreams that night.

 

            In one I was strapped into a stroller with a bunch of people all around me baby-talking me while I saw Tammy screaming “No, not Cody! What the fuck are you doing to him, he’s my boyfriend, not a baby!”

 

            In another one, I dreamt that Tammy had helped Johnny escape the system, and they both were outside the building, laughing at me while I was strapped in a high chair with baby food dribbling down my front. As I sat there crying, I heard Johnny say “I warned you, kid. I told you to get off me, but you didn’t, and now you’re gonna be a baby forever!”

 

            In the next one I dreamt that I was no longer being treated like a baby, but that I was my normal teenage self. I was in a classroom full of kids my age, and the teacher went out of the room and came back in rolling a baby stroller. In the stroller, completely with baby clothes and a pacifier, was Molly. I went over and laughed heartily while the teacher let me bottle feed her and change her wet diaper, and I made fun of her and baby-talked her the whole time, which made her face go red while the entire class laughed.

 

            In next one I dreamed that I was very small and that I was naked. I looked up and saw a giant Tracy, and she picked me up and said, “Let’s get the little baby into a clean diaper!” After she laid me down on a changing table she powdered and diapered me, and then she cradled me in her arms. As she sat down on a couch with me in her arms, she put a bottle in my mouth. I felt extremely happy and content as she rocked me in her arms, until suddenly…

 

            “Ok Cody, time for you to get up!”

 

            I opened my eyes and saw one of the nannies standing over my crib. After she un-strapped me, she said, “We better get you ready, you have a very, very big day ahead of you!”

 

            After I was spoon-fed in one of the nurseries (again, I knew resisting was pointless, so I didn’t), I realized that my diaper was wet. I cringed as I felt the soggy moistness of it against my skin; even though I was used to it, I still didn’t like it, especially because it reminded me of how little I could do in the situation. The future punishment loomed ahead of me and I knew that no matter what I did to fight it, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

 

            The nanny carried me into one of the bathrooms and removed my wet diaper. She proceeded to bathe me like they always did, but once I was dry, things changed a little bit. After the nanny put me down on my back onto one of the changing areas in the bathroom, she took out a little bottle filled with liquid. She squirted some lotion into her hand, and began to rub it on my shaven chest and stomach. I didn’t know what to think about it, so I didn’t say anything. As she proceeded to do the same to my thighs, I took a whiff of the stuff. It smelled kinda sweet, and (as much as I hated to say it) babyish. It felt kind of funny when she started rubbing it onto my dick and my balls, so I involuntarily flinched. She gave me a quick slap on my thigh to make me stay still, and thinking that defying her would not be a good way to start the day off, I stayed still and let her work. She finished by rubbing some of the lotion onto my ass.

 

            Next came some baby powder, which I was of course completely used to. However, like the lotion, she not only put some of the powder on my privates and ass, but onto my chest, stomach, and thighs as well. I was confused by this, and the only clue I got was her saying “We need the baby to smell baby fresh for his big day!”

 

            She then turned away from me and opened one of the cupboards in the bathroom. When she turned back around, I let out a very nervous gulp when I saw what she had in her hand. It was a diaper.

 

            Now I’m sure you’re thinking “So what? It’s just a diaper.” I had been wearing diapers for a decent amount of time by now. But this was not an ordinary diaper. It just looked, well, BIG.

 

            By big I guess I mean thick. I was used to cloth diapers that we about an inch thick. But this thing looked like a good three inches thick. But before I could think anything else, the nanny had grabbed my ankles, quickly placed the diaper underneath my butt and pulled me down over it. While I was still in shock she grabbed the ends of it and folded it over my waist. Grabbing two big diaper pins (by big I mean like, six inches long), she very tightly pinned the really think diaper around my waist. Before I knew it, I was trapped in the hugest diaper that I had ever seen.

 

            A couple of things really shocked me about it. First of all, it was, I guess the best word for it is…fluffy. It was extremely soft despite being so thick. But I also noticed the thickness. I really couldn’t even feel the table I was on with my butt or upper thighs, and it was so big that I couldn’t even really push my legs together. And on top of all of this was the cover of the diaper. Amazingly, it felt very much like a pair of plastic pants, only softer. There was a slight reflection off of the white, plastic surface of the diaper. And I also noticed that there were little patterns of teddy bears on it as well.

 

            Without even thinking, I blurted out “What is this thing?!”

 

            The nanny just smiled and said, “This is our special diaper for special babies who need to be reminded of their place. And it’s a very big diaper for a very big baby, like you Cody!”

 

            As much as I resented her comments, for some reason the next thing I thought and said was “Well how are you going to get any more clothes on over it?” (Funny the things that enter your mind in situations like these. I just finished having this huge diaper put on me and the only thing I can think about is how more clothes are going to fit over it)

 

            “Oh you don’t need to worry about that little fella,” the nanny said with a smile. Without saying anything else, she turned back to the cupboard. When she finished digging around a bit she emerged with another piece of clothing. Not only was this a piece of baby clothing that I had not yet worn, I don’t think that I had ever seen anything like it, even on real babies.

 

            It basically a coat, but it was light blue, pretty thin, and looked like it was made out of satin; like my diaper, I could see a little bit of light reflecting off of it. It had babyish little buttons down the front of it, and it had a pocket with a teddy bear on it on its right side.

 

            While I just lay there dumbstruck, she un-strapped me, sat me up, and slipped my arms into the sleeves that went all the way down to my wrists. She buttoned up the coat, and I noticed the feel of it. It was short enough that it didn’t cover my diaper at all, and like the diaper, it felt very soft up against my arms, chest, back and stomach. If it didn’t look so damn babyish, it actually would have been kind of comfortable.

 

            She told me not to move, and as much as I wanted to because of how stupid I felt in this dumb little jacket and huge diaper, I knew that it would just lead to more trouble. It was pure hell forcing myself to comply while I sat there feeling like an idiot. But we weren’t done yet.

            

            The nanny once again rummaged through the cupboard and came back with more baby clothes. I first thought that she had pulled out some socks, but then I noticed that they weren’t made out of the same material. As she slipped them onto my feet, I noticed that they only covered my feet and the bottom of my ankles, and that they felt like they were made out of the same material as my diaper. They were white and it felt like they were half an inch thick. She finished by taking a light blue ribbon and tying bows around each of my ankles.

 

            I was again felt horribly immature as she continued. Next was a pacifier, which was light blue and quite a bit bigger than the normal ones. She put the large nipple into my mouth and tied it around my head. It covered my mouth completely and the large ring on the front was large enough that it was the size to me that a normal pacifier is to a baby, if that makes any since.

 

            There was only one more piece of clothing, but it was probably the one that I loathed the most. The nanny emerged with what I immediately recognized as a baby bonnet. The other bits had been really bad, but this one struck me as particularly wussy for some reason. The edges on the front of it were really frilly and I let out some tiny whimpers around my pacifier as she began to fit it around my head. I tried to pull my head away, but before I knew it, she had fitted the whole thing around my head and began to tie the strings on both sides together. What really made it bad was that the “strings” on either side were pretty big, so that the bow that she had tied around my chin was so big that it almost looked like I was wearing a white bow tie.

 

            When this was done, she took a step back and said, “Why, you’re the most beautiful baby that I’ve ever seen! You’re simply adorable!” This sickened me and I gave her a nasty look until she picked me up and forced me to look at myself in the mirror. Had the pacifier not been in my mouth, my jaw would have dropped. I was quite a site; I had fluffy little baby booties with ribbons on my feet, the light blue baby jacket gleamed softly in the light, my huge pacifier made my cheeks bulge slightly so that my face looked chubby, the frilly bonnet and huge bow simply astounded me, and on top of it all, I had a huge diaper pinned around my waist my two huge safety pins.

 

            The sight of myself made my eyes tear up. This wasn’t just because I felt like a wussy little idiot and it was extremely embarrassing; that was bad enough by itself. But what really made it horrible for me was that as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn’t help but agree with the nanny; I found myself cute. I didn’t know why I felt like this, but no matter how hard I tried to just say that I looked stupid and nothing else, I couldn’t help but feel like I looked soft, cuddly and adorable.

 

            I guess the nanny was satisfied with my tears, because she just smiled and took me out of the room. After going down the hall, she took me into one of the nurseries. As soon as we entered, I felt the room go silent and it felt like all the eyes in the room were on me. It was a really weird sensation, but before I knew it, every nanny in the room stopped what they were doing and raced over to see me.

 

            Their behavior was so horrible that it was scary. Until now, even though they never missed a chance to degrade me and talk about how much of a baby I was, they always struck me as pretty professional. But now, it was almost like they weren’t even grown women any more; they acted just like the girls at the school had. All at once they surrounded me and started doing all kinds of things to me. They pinched my cheeks, talked gibberish and baby talk, goggled and let out “ooh’s” and “aww’s”, passed me around so they each got a chance to hold me and bounce me up and down, and commented on the cuteness of me and my clothes. As much as I didn’t want to, the treatment made me cry, but none of them took notice; they just continued with their actions towards me. Even some of the kids in the room pointed at me and giggled.

 

            When it was finally over, the nannies went back to their jobs, and the nanny who had brought me in took me back out. I was still whimpering around my pacifier, but she took no notice as she carried me down the hall and into the stroller room. I was so distraught that I didn’t even resist as she strapped me into the stroller (I still fit despite my huge diaper. I also realized why the size of the diaper didn’t conflict with my clothes; for the first time in public, I would be going out with nothing but a diaper and booties covering me from the waist down).

 

            Once I realized that I was trapped in and that I would be forced to go out in public dressed like this, I began to violently struggle. But it was useless, and to my surprise, the nanny just laughed at my vain attempts of escape. “Aww, wittle Cody is being fussy. That’s ok little guy, get out all of your energy. And if you need to go wee wee or poo poo, just go ahead, your diaper will still hold it. But I don’t know why I’m telling you that, it’s not like babies can control their pee or their poop anyway!” She then let out a laugh that further signified my situation.

 

            As she got behind me and started to push me, she said, “And I know how much you love your blankie, but I think we’ll go without it this time. We want everyone to see your adorable new clothes now, don’t we? But wait, I can’t let you go without something for you to cuddle with. Little babies get fwightened if they don’t have something to make them feel safe. Since we won’t have your blankie, I know just the thing.”

 

            She left me there for a few minutes and when she came back, she had a teddy bear in her arms. But it wasn’t just any bear; it was Timmy, MY teddy bear. The nanny tucked Timmy in the stroller with me so everyone could see him in plain view. This added insult to my injury not only because it was yet another embarrassing baby item, but because it was true; I did get comfort from Timmy, just like a baby would. I felt like I a normal high school kid who still slept with a teddy bear for comfort and that I was being forced to walk around my high school for a day holding him, letting everyone know that I still needed a teddy bear to get to sleep.

 

            I felt nervousness and anxiety like I never had before as the nanny rolled my stroller out into the warm, bright, sunny day and the rest of punishment level 5.

 

            I didn’t know where we were going, but just like before, we headed out across the street like we had the previous two times. Like before, she rolled me along a sidewalk, and also like before, there were plenty of people roaming the streets.

 

            But as bad as the previous two public trips had been, this one easily topped it as being the worst. You would think that I would be used to public humiliation like this by now, but it was just something about these damn new fancy baby clothes that brought my suffering to a whole new level. They made me feel so prissy (even for a baby), and I completely hated everything about them. I don’t know what was the worst: the stupid frilly baby bonnet, my huge diaper with it’s completely oversized diaper pins, or the fact that my teddy bear was squeezed in right beside me.

 

            And I definitely didn’t luck out as far as people’s reactions went. I had a distant hope that they would have lost interest in me after two previous visits, but this was not the case. In fact, they were actually more interested. It seemed like every single person had to stop what they were doing and take a look at me, and it seemed like each one didn’t leave for at least a couple of minutes. Everyone (but especially the women) talked in these horrible baby voices that made me feel about two inches tall, and they all seemed to want to pinch my cheeks or tickle me. Almost all of them commented on my clothes, remarking about how they made me look so adorable or how they knew it must be for a special occasion. They often laughed at the size of my diaper and made comments about it, and many of them let out an “aww” at the sight of my teddy bear.

 

            I didn’t know exactly why they reacted in the way that they did, but I guessed it was either (A) the sight of my clothes and condition really did interest them more than before (especially since they probably hadn’t seen too many kids go through level 5), or (B) the people at the program had previously told them to act the way they did so that this punishment would be worse for me the last two.

 

            After what I was sure was about an hour’s worth of babyish taunting, the nanny finally rolled me and my stroller to our destination, which turned out to be (once again) the Catholic school where I had previously gone. Despite my condition, I still noticed that the outside area was completely devoid of any girls.

 

            The nanny rolled me in through the same building as before, but the halls also seemed to be particularly quiet. We went past the room that I had gone before but we did not go in, and from the sound of it, the room was empty. I wandered if perhaps it was a weekend or something and none of the girls or teachers were here. But if that was the case, then why was I here?

 

            As we went further down the hall, I found out that the school was in fact not deserted. Although I couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on, a heard a large murmur of female voices behind a set of double doors on one side of the hall. But the nanny did not roll me in through the doors; we just kept on going.

 

            Eventually we went out the building, turned, and went alongside another wall of the same building. We reached a door, and after opening it, the nanny pushed my stroller through it to reach a room inside.

 

            I immediately recognized that we were in a large auditorium, and by the loud murmur of voices that I heard, I knew that this was the room that we had just passed. After going in, I realized that we must have been on the stage of the auditorium, on one of the sides. However, we must have been hidden from the seats. I could still hear a lot of the clearly female voices, and from the sound of it, I had found out where all of the girls were. I couldn’t see any of them, though, but from the sound of it, I guessed that the whole school must have been in the auditorium. My stomach lurched as I estimated that there must have been a couple hundred girls right on the opposite side of the curtains hiding me from their view.

 

            For a few grueling minutes I just had to sit there and do nothing while the nanny left me. But after those few minutes, she came back and rolled me around to a new position. I was still hidden from the crowd, but now I had a clear view of the stage, and to my surprise, a huge screen that was hanging up in the background behind it.

 

            As I watched on, a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties walked up to the podium that was on the stage. She looked kind of pretty, with long brown hair tied behind her in a pony-tail and a face that was slightly pale but completely devoid of wrinkles. She was wearing a black business suit, but it just looked really formal, not weird.

 

            Leaning into the microphone, the woman smiled and said, “All right, ladies, settle down, settle down.” As the talking died down, the woman began to speak again.

 

            “I, Mrs. Angela Walker, head of this very school, want to welcome all of the students here to a very special day. Today we have a special guest who is enrolled into a program that is just as prestigious and honorable as this one.”

 

            I realized that the guest must have been none other than me, and I thought ‘Bullshit’ when I heard the word honorable. But I was so nervous that I didn’t think anything else of it.

 

            “It is hard for me to give a good description of our guest,” Mrs. Walker continued. “I can say that he very, very special, and that he is learning and experiencing many new things in his program. Having said that, I think I will just let this video presentation say the rest. If you will, gentlemen.” She made a hand motion towards the opposite end of the auditorium and then walked off of the stage in the opposite direction.

 

            I felt my body freeze up with anxiety and fright as I saw the lights of the room dim and a bright light covering the screen. And before I knew it, the video presentation had begun, and I was completely dumbstruck from the beginning to the end…

 

            It began with a woman’s voice and a series of pictures. The voice began: “Meet Luke Cody Stephens. At first, he may have appeared to be a regular, sweet, mild-tempered little baby, and most likely at this point in his life, he was.”

 

            As the woman spoke, I saw pictures of a little baby boy flash up on the screen. As I watched, I realized that I recognized the pictures and the baby in them; it was me! I know I had seen them in old photo albums.

 

            The voice continued. “However, ‘Cody’ soon grew up to be a very naughty little boy. Despite his parents constant love and caring that they provided for him, he was growing into a selfish, obnoxious brat who thought he was bigger and better than those who tried to guide him in the proper direction that young men should go. Before he was even ten years old, he was causing constant problems at school, being an overall bully, stealing, smoking cigarettes, and even vandalizing public property.”

 

            As I watched on in horror, I felt large surges of anger. While the voice played, video footage was shown. In it, a boy that looked about eight or nine was shown pushing other boys around, yelling at teachers, smoking cigarettes and doing grafitti on a school building. I was outraged; even though the kid kinda looked like a younger me, it was obviously footage of some other kid. Even though the woman’s voice wasn’t particularly inaccurate, I felt the crowd was getting a very biased view of the way that I had grown up, and on top of it, they were framing me by showing false footage.

 

            “As a young teenager,” the voice continued, “Cody continued to behave more and more naughtily. The childish boy began to constantly get into fights in dangerous environments, actively abuse alcohol in ways that he was not prepared for, and treating girls with no respect at all. He constantly defied authority and didn’t know what was good for him.”

 

            As more footage of a slightly older boy was shown doing these things, I heard the many of the girls’ gasp in shock or boo in anger. My blood was boiling at how unfair this video was portraying me. Sure, I had done some bad things, but this was a very one-sided presentation of them.

 

            “To no surprise, Cody’s parents and teachers had no idea what they could do to get this naughty little boy to grow up and stop behaving like a childish brat,” the voice went on. “Fortunately, they found out about a program that would help him achieve both of those goals, even if the ‘growing up’ took a little bit longer than anticipated, and his actions would most likely continue to be childish while enrolled in the program. The name of this program is ‘The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths’.” At this point a picture of the program’s building was shown. “Here, Cody would begin his new journey of learning to behave properly.

 

            “Of course, like many troubled young children like Cody, at first Cody resisted changing his ways. Naughty little children like Cody tend to be stubborn and refuse to change, very much like young babies refuse to make the change from using diapers to using a potty.”

 

            As the voice went on, I was shocked to see more video footage. But unlike the previous footage, the boy in this footage actually was me. But that’s what made it so shocking. I was just left in amazement as I saw clips from my first day at the program. There I was, still clad in my normal clothes, but I was shown making snide comments to McPherson and yelling in anger as he tried to put my collar around my neck.

 

            I heard a large murmur of laughter as the voice made the “diaper/potty” comparison, and also as footage was shown of me being forced to the ground. The voice continued to go on as footage was shown of me being dragged across the floor, being strapped down onto the table, and being stripped naked (to my relief my privates were blurred out…It was a Catholic school, after all).

 

            “Because Cody was acting like a baby by resisting this necessary change, the workers at the program knew that that was the way that he should be treated. In fact, the comparison of Cody being like a baby refusing to give up diapers is quite a fitting one, because Cody would now be back in diapers full time.”

 

            As these words were spoken, I felt myself start to get sick as I saw footage of me lying on the table, but this time I was wearing a disposable diaper with baby patterns on it. Tears streamed down my face in the footage as I struggled violently to free myself of the plastic prison.

            

            My current body was numb with shock as I watched; I never realized that they were taping me during that whole time. The earlier murmur of laughter from the girls could not even compare the tumultuous laughter of them seeing me lying there in a diaper. It seemed like the walls were shaking because of their howls of laughter, and I even heard a few “Aww”s in between them.

 

            But the voice continued. “At the beginning of his life, Cody was a cute, sweet innocent baby. But while he grew out of his innocence, he never grew out of his infantile behavior. So the directors of the program decided that he would be forced to grow out of it. But since he was so keen to act like a baby, they decided he must first be treated like one again. Cody would be returned back to his original baby state and eventually grow out of his baby behavior like he should have. He is still in the process of doing so currently.”

 

            As she spoke, footage was shown of me being dressed in a footed sleeper by the nurse, having a pacifier put in my mouth, and being carried “like a baby” out of the tiny room. The girls’ laughter and “Aww”s continued as they listened to what the voice had to say.

 

            “It took Cody time to adjust to his new baby lifestyle. Cody didn’t even realize that in reality he was still a baby and that he had to be treated like one. But Cody soon found out many things about babies like himself. He realized that as a baby, he must be bottle-fed from his baby bottle, take naps in his crib, be given baths by his caregivers, suck his pacifier to get to sleep, have his wet and dirty diapers changed, and be spoon-fed baby food from his high chair.”

 

            To my utmost horror, footage was shown of me doing each of these activities while the voice described them, even though in each one it looked as though I was resisting the treatment as much as I could. It was terribly awkward to see myself suck a pacifier and be bottle-fed, and I wanted nothing else than to die as the girls’ laughter and awwing seemed to be growing stronger with each clip.

 

            “A few times Cody needed some extra reminders about what a baby he was,” the voice continued. “And he learned that bad little babies must be spanked. Cody didn’t like his treatment, so of course, like many babies do, he threw a temper tantrum when he didn’t get his way.”

            

            Things got even worse as footage was shown of being screaming in anger as a nanny gave me a spanking. This of course resulted in the loudest burst of laughter yet.

 

            “But don’t think that Cody is really a bad little baby boy. Like most babies like himself, Cody just needed a little time to understand the fact that he was a baby. Once he began to understand the truth, he started to accept it. And once he accepted it, he began to enjoy it.”

 

            As these words were spoken, I felt even worse as footage was shown of me playing with some of the toy cars. I had had no idea that that stuff would ever be shown to anybody, and I felt even more humiliated by my actions.

 

            The girls continued to aww (although surprisingly enough, they didn’t laugh) as more footage was shown. Unlike the previous clips, in all of these I looked happy. I was shown asleep in my crib, but to my surprise I had a wide smile on my face while sucking my pacifier. I was shown giggling one time while I had my diaper changed, and I truly looked content as I was being bottle-fed in one clip.

 

            “Cody even managed to find a couple of friends, one of which was a very good little baby named Johnny.” Clips were shown of me and Johnny being spoon fed and having our diapers changed together, although to my relief there was none of us having normal conversations (although come to think of it, those would probably just look like two babies talking baby-talk to one another anyway, since none of the clips had any sound).

 

            “But Cody found a friend who was even more special to him. This is none other than his teddy bear.”

 

            I felt a deep surge of shame as the next bit of footage was shown. There I was, sprawled across on a blanket, one hand clutching Timmy tightly to my body, the other pressing my thumb into my mouth. This one resulted in a truly astonishingly loud echo of “Aww”s, the loudest one yet. I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I watched.

 

            “As you can see, Cody has now accepted his new babyhood, and as you can see, he is quite a happy little baby. Don’t blame Cody for his past actions; he was just simply a baby who refused to grow up. But now he has the chance to go back and do it right, and one day he will grow up from being a sweet little baby boy to a fine young gentlemen.”

 

            To my huge relief, the truly terrible presentation was finally over. The screen went blank and the lights filled the room. Murmurs broke out among the girls and I could here them all excitedly chattering about what they had just seen.

 

            Mrs. Walker went back up to the podium, and after quieting the girls, said, “So as you can see, Cody is a very special person. Some of you have been fortunate enough to meet Cody already, but I hope that you all now truly understand and appreciate why Cody is so special. For those of you who have already met him, you already know what a little sweetheart Cody is. But for the rest of you, you will now get the chance. Without further ado, I give you….BABY CODY!”

 

            To my surprise, the crowd broke out into applause. But before I knew it, I felt my stroller being pushed forward onto the stage. I would have given my right arm to make the nanny stop, turn the stroller around and take me out of that place. But I was completely helpless, and before I could think any more thoughts, I was pushed beyond the curtain and found myself looking at a couple hundred teenage girl faces, all staring at me.

 

            To make matters even worse, a man with a video camera emerged, and I quickly glanced up at the screen. There I was, in my stroller wearing a bonnet and a huge diaper (among other things) with my teddy bear right beside me. Between the close-up on the screen and me actually being there on stage, the girls couldn’t help but point at me, let out more laughter, but more than anything, continue to let out those deeply humiliating “Aww”s. I could even here a few remarks made by some of them on the front row, catching words like “pacifier”, “teddy bear”, “bonnet” and “diaper”.

 

            The nanny wheeled me around to face the crowd directly as Mrs. Walker came over to me. By this point tears were simply streaming down my face; I simply couldn’t help it. But Mrs. Walker just smiled down at me and softly chucked my chin, saying, “My, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful baby in my entire life.”

 

            As I continued to sob, Mrs. Walker went back to the podium and said, “Now don’t you worry about Cody, girls. He’s not really upset, it’s just that babies often get frightened by large crowds with lots of noise. It’s only his pacifier that’s preventing him from letting out his earsplitting little baby cries,” she added with a laugh.

 

            “But I think we can find ways to cheer baby Cody up. I’ve arranged opportunities for many of you to meet Cody after our presentation. But for now, one of you lucky girls will get the chance to meet Cody on stage and give the rest of us a brief display in baby-care.”

 

            If anything could have made me feel worse, that was it. I just continued to sob as I saw a few people bring out a few pieces of furniture, among them a table with a baby-bottle, a spoon, and some baby food on it, a high chair, and a crib. The only relief that I got was that nowhere in sight was a changing table, diapers, or any diaper changing supplies. While this was happening, Mrs. Walker continued to talk.

 

            “If each of you look underneath your chair, you will find a piece of paper with a number on it. The girl whose number matches the one I call out will be able to come up here and get a chance to show us how to take care of Cody. You will show how to tuck him into his crib, feed him a bottle, and then spoon feed him some baby food. Don’t worry, if you don’t know how, someone will be up here to help you. You will also get a chance to share any thoughts that you may have about Cody and his situation.

 

            “Ok, well, the winning number is…85!” As the crowd broke out into applause, one of the girls rose from her seat. As she walked down the aisle up to the stage, my heart did a small jump; to my great surprise and delight, it was none other than Tracy! At least one thing had gone right today.

 

            Walking up on stage, Tracy was all smiles. As she walked by me, she gave me a small pat on the head, but that was it. However, something about the way she looked at me just made me feel OK about the whole situation. She continued to walk up the podium, and whispered something to Mrs. Walker.

 

            Mrs. Walker leaned into the microphone and said, “Oh! Tracy tells me that she’s one of the girls who has already met Cody. Well, Tracy, do you have anything you’d like to say about Cody before we start?”

 

            Tracy leaned into the microphone and said, “Yes, I do. I just wanted to say that Cody truly is a very special boy, and that I’ve already learned a lot about life through my experiences with him. I believe that one day he will be one of the finest young men in the whole world!”

 

            With this, the entire place burst into applause. Even I managed to make myself stop crying when I heard her speak. What she had done was truly classy. If you just looked at her words, it could have been her talking about a fourteen-year old me. But at the same time, there was nothing in her words that gave any implication to anyone else there that she viewed me as anything but a baby. But I knew that she was only doing that to humor everyone else, and that she didn’t just think of me as a real baby.

 

            Once she was done, Mrs. Walker said, “How nice! Well, because you’ve dealt with Cody before, I don’t think you’ll need anything help in your demonstration. Why don’t you begin by showing us how you would put Cody down for a nap?”

 

            “With pleasure,” she said. She then walked over towards me. She gently un-strapped the restraints that held me into the stroller, and she picked me up and held me in her arms with ease, smiling towards me the whole time. After carrying me over to the crib (which had a blanket and a pillow in it), she softly laid me down inside, my head resting on the pillow. She went back over to the stroller and grabbed Timmy the teddy bear. She gave him to me, and I gladly took a hold of him in my arms (I know, it sounds weird that I was taking this so well, but I was in a very funny state of mind, and between Tracy and Timmy, I couldn’t help but be at least a little happy). She then took a hold of the blanket and snugly tucked me in. The camera man had been following us the whole time, so when she was done, the whole audience burst into applause again. During the uproar, Tracy whispered to me “There, that wasn’t too bad, was it?” She then gave me a wink.

 

            After the clapping died down, Mrs. Walker leaned over the microphone and said, “Very nicely done! He looks like a very happy baby! Now, next up, we’ll have you…”

 

            But she was cut off by a voice yelling from the crowd. “Wait just one second!” the voice said. Even from my position in the crib, I could see two girls walking up the aisle. As the whole crowd looked on in shock, the two girls walked up on the stage. To my great disdain, I recognized one of them as being none other than Molly, the stupid blonde bitch, and what looked to be one of her extremely snobby friends.

 

            “What is the meaning of this?” asked Mrs. Walker into the microphone.

 

            “Mrs. Walker,” Molly said, seizing the microphone. “Tracy stole my number! I was number 85, but right after you called it, Tracy grabbed it from me and came racing up here!”

 

            “That’s not true!” yelled Tracy angrily.

 

            “How do I know you’re telling the truth?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Because Kathy here saw it too!” squealed Molly.

 

            “Yeah, Molly’s telling the exact truth!” said Kathy. “Tracy stole it!”

 

            “Tracy, is this true?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Of course not!” answered Tracy.

 

            “Can anyone verify that you didn’t?” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “Well…no…but…”

 

            “Well, in that case, I have no choice but to agree with Molly.”

 

            “No!” yelled Tracy.

 

            “Oh come now,” Mrs. Walker said. “Even if you didn’t, you already got a turn with Cody. Why not give Molly a chance?”

 

            ‘No!’ I thought desperately. ‘Anything but that!’

 

            Tracy objected again, but Mrs. Walker wouldn’t have it. She had one of the men take Tracy back to her seat. She had no choice but to comply, and she shot me a look as if to say “I’m sorry”.

 

            The crowd murmured as Tracy and Kathy returned to their seats. As this happened, Molly leaned over my crib, gave me a devilish smile and whispered, “Well, little baby, now you’ll learn not to pee on me! Time to treat you like the baby you are!”

 

            Mrs. Walker got back on the microphone and said, “Well then, in that case, Molly, do YOU have anything you would like to say about Cody!”

 

            “Why yes!” Molly squeaked in a very annoying, prissy voice. “I just wanted to say that Cody has taught me that taking care of babies can be very trying and difficult. In class we practiced taking care of Cody, and not only was he very fussy when we tried to feed him, but I had to change one of his POOPY diapers. And he is quite a little stinker, let me tell you!”

 

            My cheeks burned with shame. The stupid bitch! That never happened. However, the crowd just laughed loudly again at her comments. Even Mrs. Walker couldn’t help but giggle.

 

            “Well, at least you won’t have to worry about changing his poopy diapers today!” Mrs. Walker said. “However, I would like you to show us how to bottle-feed and burp him.”

 

            “With pleasure,” she said, mocking Tracy. As she walked over to the crib, I was tempted to make some kind of run for it, but I knew I would never make it, and I got a sudden vision of being spanked by a nanny in front of the entire school, so I regretfully decided just to play along. Molly quickly pulled away the blanket covering me and then grabbed me and forcefully threw me over her shoulder. As she carried me over to a chair, which she sat down in. She untied my pacifier, and as she pinned it to the front of my jacket, I had a huge urge to bite her. But I refrained as she was handed the baby bottle filled with milk.

 

            Molly had someone hold a microphone up to her face as the camera man did a close up on us. She shoved the nipple of the bottle in my mouth and forced me to drink. I just wanted this horrible ordeal over with as soon as possible, so I felt myself go red as I began to down the milk as fast as possible. Unfortunately, as I did so, Molly jabbered on into the microphone.

 

            “…but don’t get me wrong, I do think Cody is super-duper adorable. Just look at his cute little bonnet! And those booties are just precious! And of course he’s wearing his super thick diaper because he’s quite a heavy wetter! It was quite hard to pin his diaper over his cute little bottom when I was changing him the other day since he was squirming around so much on the changing table. Babies often do that, if you haven’t noticed, I really am quite expert at taking care of them…”

 

            I just tried my hardest to block out her remarks and the resulting laughter and “Aww”s from the crowd. At long last, the bottle was finished, and Molly removed it from my mouth. She stood up, threw me over her shoulder and began to forcefully pat my back. After about six pats, with the microphone pressed to my face, I let out a burp that made the whole audience laugh once again.

 

            With that done, she carried me over to the high chair and pulled down the front of it, pinning my arms to the side. She excitedly tied a bib around my neck, letting the crowd know what a messy eater I was. After sitting down in front of me, she opened up the jar of baby food. Again, I just wanted to end this, but she made it ten times worse than it should have been. She had to smear the crap all over my face and bib, but she conveniently blocked the camera at the right times so it probably looked like I was the one making the mess. She continued to talk about what a handful I could be and how sometimes I would cry because I didn’t have my blankie or teddy, followed by more talks about her expertise at babysitting.

 

            Finally though, it was over, and after wiping my mouth with my bib, Molly took it off and took me out of the high chair. I was just glad the whole thing was over, and I was looking forward to her getting the hell out of there.

 

            But she had one more display of bitchery left in her. She had been holding me with one hand underneath my diapered butt, and with someone putting the microphone to her face, she began to giggle and said into the microphone, “Uh, Mrs. Walker? I think Cody…well…he, uh…I think he went poo poo in his diaper!”

 

            I think the loudest outburst of laughter for the day followed that remark, as well as a chorus of “Eww”s. Mrs. Walker walked over and put a finger into the thigh of my extremely thick diaper. After a few seconds, she said, “I don’t think he did, Molly. I don’t smell or feel anything. He seems dry to me!”

 

            “Oops, my mistake!” Molly said. I sneered at the stupid bitch as she put me back into my stroller. As she left, one of the nannies took my pacifier and put it back in my mouth, tying it around the outside of my bonnet this time. After stuffing Timmy back in with me, she wheeled me off the stage.

 

            “Everyone tell Cody bye!” Mrs. Walker said. “But remember, for those of you who would like to see Cody again, just go to room 104. He’ll be there, and I even think we can arrange to have a few pictures taken!”

 

            I just wanted so badly for this all to be over and to be able to go back to the nursery (I never thought I’d ever want to go back there). But I was rolled into the room, and soon after, an extremely long line of girls were lined up outside.

 

            I had to endure about two hours worth of their attention. Each one found me extremely cute and they each took turns passing me around, pinching my cheeks, commenting on my clothes and talking baby-talk. And it seemed like they all had cameras, and they took turns taking pictures of each one of them holding me in their arms while I sucked my pacifier and clutched Timmy. After those two grueling hours, I thought I would be done, but there was one more huge task for me to endure.

 

            You see, it had been a long time since breakfast, and remember, I hadn’t gotten my diaper changed since the morning. So during these two hours, I wet my diaper. Even though it looked weird, my diaper did its job and didn’t leak.

 

            But to my utmost horror, at the end of the two hours, almost all of the girls were still there, and the nanny, noticing I was wet, said, “Uh-oh girls, looks like someone has a wet diaper! Does anyone want to stick around and see how you change a wet diaper?”

 

            I almost fainted at this news, especially since all of the girls giggled with delight as they wanted nothing more than to see me have my diaper changed. It was horrible, especially since the nanny explained everything in detail while she changed me. I was kind of used to public changes since I had done so many the day before, but on top of everything else I had experienced that day (plus the constant girl giggling and long nanny diaper changing explanations), this was pure hell. After telling the girls how to unpin a diaper, wipe the baby, and powder him, she pinned on another extremely thick diaper around my waist. The experience was so horrible that I had started crying uncontrollably again.

 

            The girls were a little alarmed, so the nanny just said, “Uh-oh, poor Cody is fussy, he must be very sweepy, he hasn’t had a nap all day! I think it’s time to say good-bye girls.” After saying their good-byes, the girls finally left, and soon after, the nanny was rolling me out of the school, with me still crying around my pacifier.

 

            I managed to calm down sometime on the trip home, and to my great relief, nobody on the street seemed interested in me. We got back to the main building with nothing happening, and the nanny took me back into the original bathroom that she had dressed me in.

 

            Piece by piece she took off all of my special clothing and put it in a hamper. She taped a normal disposable diaper on me (to be honest it felt so nice compared to that damn thick one), and then put me in another sleeper. She then picked me up and carried me into a crib room. After strapping me in for the afternoon, she just looked at me and said, “Well, now, Cody, I hope you’ve learned a lesson from all of this. Face it, you are just a little baby, and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will become a happy little baby.” With that, she left and turned out the light.

 

            I was so mentally and physically worn out that I fell asleep almost instantly. For some crazy reason I didn’t have any dreams during my nap, and when I woke up, it almost felt like punishment 5 had just been a dream.

 

            Soon after another nanny came in and un-strapped me. She picked me up and took me into one of the nurseries (the first one I had ever been in, in fact). She set me down on the floor, and to my great surprise, she gave me Timmy. I didn’t know what to think as she just left me there, Timmy still in my arms. I was definitely a bit dumbstruck and groggy since I had just gotten up.

 

            But then all of a sudden a whole flood of thoughts and memories from the day rushed into my mind. All at once my mind was flanked with images, images such as seeing myself dressed in my jacket, booties, bonnet and huge diaper in the mirror, the horde of nannies that had surrounded me that morning in the nursery, the huge crowds of people in the street, the horrible video piece that had completely lied and painted me as someone completely different, Molly’s constant jabbering about how cute I looked, her lie about me shitting my diaper, and having my huge diaper changed in detail in front of all of the girls, to name a few.

 

            I don’t know how all of this happened, but it caused some kind of a mental breakdown within me. I panicked, not knowing what to do or where to go. Without thinking I clutched Timmy tightly against my chest and quickly crawled over to a light blue blanket lying on the floor, making babyish grunts and whimpers as I did so.

 

            I grabbed the blanket and using my right arm I held both the blanket and Timmy tightly against my body. Involuntarily I shoved my left thumb straight into my mouth and began to suck on it furiously. This helped greatly in calming me down, but my mind continued to be overrun with all of those horrible images of the day. Tears began to rush down my face and I felt the salty taste of them come around my thumb and into my mouth. I began to rock back and forth, my thumb muffling my cries into soft babyish whimpers. I felt scared and alone, and the only things that gave me any comfort were Timmy, my blanket and my thumb. I tried to find any source of happiness, and my mind suddenly locked onto Tracy. I pictured her holding me tightly in her arms, saying, “It’s ok, wittle Cody, mommy’s here to protect you”. The only actual conscious thought that I could think in my mind was ‘I just want my mommy!’

 

            Suddenly something slightly jerked me out of my crazy state. That something was a voice, a particular sarcastic voice that just happened to say, “What’s up kid?”

 

            I turned to find myself looking at Johnny. There he was wearing a striped shirt and a small pair of little kid jeans. He had that same telltale smirk on his face.

 

            Even though he had startled me, I still felt exactly as I had a few seconds earlier. I continued to rock back forth, tears running down my face, letting out babyish whimpers while still held Timmy and the blanket and still violently sucking my thumb.

 

            I continued to look at Johnny as I did so, and I saw his face immediately change into one of genuine concern. “Hey, Cody, are you ok, kid? No, you’re not…tell me, what happened to you?!”

 

            It was a real testament of my current state that I didn’t rush over and start pounding Johnny’s face in considering he was the one who had caused all of this. It was all his fault. But I was so completely distraught that I had no room for anger. I didn’t even know if I could make myself speak. I tried to take my thumb out of my mouth but I just couldn’t do it.

 

            Johnny’s look of concern deepened. “Come on, Cody, speak to me! Oh man, please, please don’t tell me you’ve been decoded!”

 

            It was hard as hell, but I somehow managed to take out my thumb. I had a lot of difficulty making myself speak, but I managed to get a couple of sounds out. “Puh…puh…puhn…”

 

            “Don’t worry, just take your time,” he said in a truly concerned voice. I noticed he sounded extremely relieved that I could at least make sounds. “You can do it, just take your time…”

 

            “Puhn…punish…” I tried again. “Punishment….leh…level-el…f-…fi…five.”

 

            Looking into Johnny’s face was a big shock to me. His jaw dropped and he looked just like he had seen a ghost. He started to go pretty pale for a second, but soon after, without warning, he threw his arms around me and embraced me in a hug. I could hear him start to cry as he patted me on the back and said, “K…kid…I d-don’t…I don’t believe it!”

 

            That was about all I could take. Just letting myself go, I felt all of the anger and hatred I had towards Johnny melt away from me. Losing all of the pride and dignity I had left, I buried my face into his shoulder and violently cried as I still clutched Timmy and my blanket.

 

 

 

 

 

Part 11

 

            We must have just sat there for about ten minutes. I just continued to cry, unable to stop myself. Johnny didn’t really say anything, but he didn’t let go of me either. It just was too much to take in; I had just been subjected to the worst treatment in my entire life, and I couldn’t get over it.

 

            Finally, I managed to calm myself down. Having Johnny there was a huge help, and I don’t think I could have done it without it. It was just nice to, well, have a shoulder to cry on. And I knew from the look that I had seen on Johnny’s face that he really did care about what I had just been through. Because of that, I eventually stopped crying, and wiping my eyes, I pulled away from Johnny.

 

            He looked like he was about to cry himself, but he was able to keep in control and soon he was relaxed again. As we looked at each other, he suddenly had a quizzical look on his face.

 

            “Wait a sec…if you went through level 5…that means…it’s only been about three days since you jumped on me…that means…you went through levels 3…4…and 5?!”

 

            I simply nodded, still unable to find words. As I did so, a look of pure horror crossed his face. He started to move towards me as if you embrace me in another hug, but he stopped himself. He then just let out a sigh with a bewildered look on his face.

 

            “I…I never would have EVER dreamed that they’d go that far. That’s just…it’s just…fucked up.”

 

            I had to wait another five minutes while Johnny got shocked. It startled me at first. But for some reason…it made me feel better. If what I had gone through was bad enough to make Johnny cuss, then I know that I truly had survived a lot.

 

            When Johnny finally recovered, he said, “Sorry. Anyways, I just…I still can’t believe it. I mean, I knew you were gonna be in trouble, but I thought they’d only spank you again or something. The most I ever woulda dreamed was level 3. Man, all three of those levels? It’s just pure wonder that you can still talk. I bet any other kid here would’ve been driven insane or been automatically broken down and decoded. Kid, that’s just stunning. Uh…you can still talk, right?”

 

            Managing to find my voice, I said, “Yeah.” Then, I said the first thing that was on my mind.

 

            “You told them I hit you,” I said. “You lied. You acted like a baby and told them I hit you. You’re the reason why I had to go through all of this.”

 

            I wasn’t really angry with Johnny. I was in much too weak of a state for that, and right now I knew he was the only one who was truly on my side (well, other than Tammy). But still, I couldn’t help but feel he was more responsible for this than I was.

 

            He just looked extremely ashamed for a second, and after taking a breath, he said, “You’re right kid, I am. And I don’t know how I can apologize for all of it. I don’t know, I just kind of got caught up in the moment. I’ve talked to a lot of kids who have gone through here, and many have gotten angry or frustrated at me. Many have cussed me out or yelled at me, and some have refused to talk to me until they became completely decoded. But not a single one has ever jumped on me like you did. I don’t know, it’s just as soon as you did, I just automatically got kind of angry. It’s one of the reasons I was sent here in the first place; I was always fighting with people. And when you jumped on me like that, I was so filled with anger, just like I used to before I came here. And my only natural reaction was to get you back in whatever way I could, and I got caught up in the moment. Again, kid, I’m sorry. Like I said, I never would have dreamed that they would go so far with you. Kid, one day, honestly, I’ll make it up to you. Somehow, I will. ”

 

            I don’t know if I really wanted to accept this explanation or Johnny’s apology, but I really didn’t feel like holding a grudge. Maybe I’d get pissed at Johnny later, but for now, I just needed a friend. That footage shown of me was just so horrible, and…

 

            I suddenly jumped. “Johnny!” I said. “You’ve gotta stop talking to me! They’re taping us here, and...”

 

            To my surprise, Johnny just smiled. “Oh that,” he said in a calm manner. “I’ve known about that for years. Right now they’re not taping us. Or at least, not in this spot right now. I memorized the taping schedule a long time ago. That was really hard to do, but eventually I got it down. Anyway, like I said, the nannies have gotten really lax in recent years, and they only tape certain things. That’s why I haven’t talked to you all the time, and you’d only see me every few days. Luckily, you crawled over to the right spot on your first day, and they weren’t taping you, at least not when I talked to you. And even if they ever did catch us, they’d only think we were talking baby talk. Like I said, I’ve got these nannies so fooled, they have no idea.”

 

            I still had my doubts about all of this, but I was also really eager to talk to Johnny. So I trusted his judgment, since it had apparently worked for him so far.

 

            “But weren’t you extremely surprised to find out that they were taping you?” he asked. “I had no idea about it ‘til I went through level 5. I almost fainted when I saw footage of me sucking a pacifier being projected onto a huge screen in front of a huge group of girls.”

 

            It felt really, really good to hear Johnny describe level 5. I felt better knowing that he knew how I felt, since he had gone through the same thing at some point.

 

            “Well, it was pretty shocking to see it,” I admitted. “But I found out about the taping right before.”

 

            “How?”

 

            I hesitated, not sure if I should mention Tammy. Deciding it couldn’t hurt, I went for it. “Do you know Tammy?”

 

            “Yeah, she’s just a regular nanny here. She’s kinda young, and she’s always been kinda nice to me, but that’s all I know about her.”

 

            I couldn’t believe it. For these last few years, Johnny and Tammy had no idea about each other. He had been doing his act, and she had been doing hers. She had no idea that there was still a kid here who wasn’t a baby, and he had no idea a nanny could have helped him out.

 

            I quickly told Johnny about my encounter with Tammy and how she had told me about the cameras and her past. He was simply stunned to find out about this.

 

            “Wow, that’s amazing,” he said. “Very, very interesting. Well, not like it matters. I probably would have never gotten a chance to talk with her. I barely see her, and they do tape quite frequently. Besides, I got my own plan.”

 

            “Ok,” I said. “Come on Johnny, please tell me, who are you? How long have you been here? Why haven’t you been decoded? What’s your plan out of here?”

 

            Johnny just looked at me for a second. He then sighed and said, “Well, kid, you’ve been through more than any kid has ever been through in such a short period of time. I thought you were impressive before, but doing levels 3, 4, and 5 and still being sane is an all time record. If anyone deserves to hear my story, it’s you, especially since I’m responsible for your punishment. I know you’re ready to hear it now, and I owe you that much. So let me start from the beginning and I’ll tell you everything.”

 

            After letting out another sigh, Johnny said, “Well, I guess it’s best to begin at the beginning. You’d be surprised at how much of my past I remember; I guess that’s one positive trait that I have, an excellent memory. Anyway, I’ve been here in this program for just about ten years. The only way I know that is that I’ve overheard the nannies talking about how the program is about ten years old, and I was among the first group of kids who entered into the program.

 

            “That makes me twenty-five years old, because I remember that I was fifteen when I first came here.

 

            “I was probably extremely similar to the way you and all the other kids who have come through here were before you got here. I hated school so I skipped often and failed most of my classes. I went out and got drunk all the time, and I smoked marijuana quite a bit too. I even used cocaine and heroin. I fought with people all the time; little things would make my temper rise, so I’d go and beat up anybody who I didn’t like.

 

            “My parents always worried about me, but they never had the guts to truly discipline me. If I ever got in trouble with the law, they’d find a way to get me out of it. I guess they loved me; but if they really did, they probably would have disciplined me more.

 

            “I always hung out with kids who were just like me. The guys were my best buds, and even though I had friends who were girls, I mostly just used them for sex. I did have a girlfriend, and I do think we truly loved each other. We were both really bad kids, and we were constantly having sex with other people. But I still think we felt we had a connection.

 

            “Well, this went on for a few years, with nothing really changing. Then one day my parents heard about some kid in our neighborhood who overdosed on heroin. This totally freaked them out because they knew that I was always using drugs. They were so scared of me dying too that they felt they had to do something.

 

            “But they couldn’t bring themselves to send me to military school or rat me out to the cops or anything. I don’t know exactly how they found out about the Reconstruction Program, but apparently it was some new type of program that promised to straighten out kids by raising them correctly. I guess it sounded good to them, so they signed me up and told me that I would be going off to a special program. I wasn’t crazy about the whole idea, but they told me that if I didn’t agree to go, they’d get some of my friends in big trouble. See, they hated my friends, and because of their connections and money, I felt like they really could have made life really bad for my friends. I was so worried about my friends that I agreed, although now that I think about it, my parents were probably too weak-minded to follow through.

 

            “Anyway, it looked like I’d be going to this ‘special program’. Before I knew it, I found myself on a bus with a bunch of other boys. By the looks of them, they seemed to be just as bad as me. None of them looked happy about going into this program, and I still remember the cold stares that they all gave each other on our bus ride. I didn’t really feel like talking to any of them, so we remained silent for the whole ride. I counted and figured out that there were exactly twenty of us.

 

            “Our arrival was probably very similar to the way yours was, considering that’s one of the few things that has remained the same throughout the years. As we all got off the bus, about forty big men grabbed us (two guys to each one of us) and forcefully led us into the huge building that you are currently in. I went along calmly, but they really had to wrestle a couple of the other kids in there. Once inside one of the nursery rooms (it was empty and the walls were blank at that time), the wonderful Doctor McPherson gave us the traditional welcome.”

 

            “McPherson was there then, too?” I asked.

 

            “Oh yeah,” Johnny said. “And he was just as much of a greasy haired slime ball as he is now.

 

            “Anyway, the big guys pushed us all down to the floor while McPherson placed collars around each one of our necks. A bunch of the kids yelled at him and the guards and cussed them out too. Well, until the collars were on. Then they’d receive shocks every time they cussed. I remember hearing their howls of pain as it happened. Once we all had collars on, McPherson began to talk to us. He told us about our collars and how they would shock us every time we cussed, and he then gave every one of us a shock just to let us feel it. Like the first time you were shocked, it made our bodies go limp, and I felt myself being drug into another smaller room all alone.

 

            “I was completely full of fear as I was strapped down to a table and stripped naked. I was helpless and I knew that there was nothing I could do. And I didn’t even know what these crazy people were going to do to me. I pictured them physically torturing me or locking me in a tiny cell or something.

 

            “Had I known what was coming up, I might have preferred the torture. You can imagine my anger and anxiety when I saw a nanny (they didn’t have those nurse ladies back then) come in the room and take out a diaper. I had never been around babies much, but I knew a diaper when I saw one. I yelled and struggled to no avail as she smiled at me and proceeded to tape it around my waist. She shocked me to calm me down and talked to me like I was a baby. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, and there was still nothing I could do about it. Things only got worse as she put a onesie on me and pinned a pacifier to the front of it. After telling me that from now on I would be treated like a baby, she warned me not to resist or I would get another shock. The shocks were so painful that I decided to just go along with her. But I still felt about two inches high as she picked me up and carried me in her arms. There I was, dressed like a baby, diaper and all, and now I was being carried like one.

 

            “For a few horrible minutes I thought I would be shown in front of the other boys and I would be the only one treated this way. So I was shocked but extremely relieved when I saw that the rest of them were also dressed as babies.

 

            “We were in another nursery, although this one had twenty huge baby cribs in it. All of the other boys were also being carried, although some continued to struggle despite the shocks. Nonetheless, the nannies put each one of us into a crib. As I was laid down, I heard one of the nannies say, ‘Ok, change all of their collars to just roll over status now.’

 

            “With that, I was left in the crib. I tried to stand up, but as soon as I did, I was shocked. I couldn’t move for a few minutes, and when I recovered, I tried again. The same thing happened. I began to panic as I realized that the only thing I could do was lay there and roll onto either one of my sides.

 

            “As I looked through the bars of my crib, I noticed the other kids were coming to the same realization. The nannies had left the room; we were just left there in our cribs and baby clothes, unable to do anything but roll over like infants. The other kids were all yelling and I could here the panic in there voices as well. It felt like some horrible nightmare; we simply couldn’t believe that this was happening.

 

            “Thankfully, one of us had some sense and was able to keep his cool. I looked over and saw him; he had spiky black hair and looked to be about sixteen. He looked frustrated but also very calm. After the yelling died down, he yelled out, ‘Ok, everyone shut up!’ He was shocked, but once he recovered, he said, “Ok, everyone calm down. I know this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to us, but we’ve gotta keep our heads.’

 

            “ ‘How are we supposed to do that?!’ I heard one kid yell. ‘They’ve put us in cribs and damn baby clothes…’ His voice trailed as he got shocked.

 

            “ ‘I know that!’ the first kid said. ‘But if we panic we won’t be able to do anything except continue to get shocked!’

 

            “ ‘So what are we supposed to do?’ I asked. ‘I can’t do anything but roll over!’

 

            “ ‘Just don’t think about it!’ he responded. ‘Ignore the fact that we’re all wearing diapers. Don’t think about moving; just lie there and relax. Here, let’s talk about something to keep our minds off of it. My name’s Ricky Rawson. How ‘bout you guys?’

 

            “Most of us introduced ourselves and talked about where we were from. We explained our pasts and tried to avoid talking about our current situation. Eventually, though, we ran out of subjects. Sensing this, Ricky began to talk again. ‘Well, the one thing I know is that we’ve gotta stick together. That’s the only way we’re ever going to get out of this!’

 

            “Everybody agreed, but yet again we had nothing else to say. We all still felt demoralized and ashamed, and didn’t feel like talking much more. After a period of time, we heard the nannies come back in.

 

            “I saw one come over to me and lift me out of my crib. I still couldn’t move without being shocked, so I didn’t. But I could still see that the other kids were also being taken out of their cribs. Soon after, the nannies all began to shove baby bottles in our mouths and forced us to drink the milk that was inside them. Again, most of us resisted, but in the end we had to consent. Again, I felt extremely ashamed and humiliated.”

 

            “Once they were done, they put us back in our cribs and left. It was only a matter of time until we realized something; we couldn’t move, but we had to pee or poo. One kid pointed this out, and everybody began to get worried again. Eventually all of us had to go, and after a while the nannies came back to check on us and change our diapers.

 

            “My first diaper change was horrible. I couldn’t believe that I had actually gone in a diaper and that I needed to have one of the stupid nannies change me (she did so in my crib). But once it was done, I was put right back into my crib, and it was only a matter of time before I fell asleep.

 

            “Over the next few days everything went basically the same way. We were taken out to be given baths, fed, and changed, but other than that, we were always left in our cribs. I truly began to get worried, and it was only through forced conversations from Ricky that I managed to stay calm.

 

            “Then one day, the nannies came back in and took us out of our cribs. They sat us down on the floor, and I noticed, to my great joy, I could move again! I found out I still couldn’t stand and that I could only crawl, as did the other kids. After we got the chance to move around, the nannies told us to sit still or we’d be shocked.

 

            “Once they got us to stay still, they told us about what was happening. They explained that five of us had gone mentally insane due to our treatment. I looked around and noticed we were down to fifteen. They continued and told us that we would still be treated as babies, but that we’d be allowed to crawl around under their supervision. With that, they took us out of the room and into another nursery.

 

            “This one had a bunch of baby toys in it and some chairs and tables. The nannies put us down and let us roam about freely. We used our chance of freedom to interact with each other. The news of the others going insane really scared us, and we knew that now, more than ever we’d have to stick together.

 

            “A few of the kids panicked. I saw some automatically race to the door or try to rip off their baby clothes. It was actually kind of funny at first because they couldn’t figure out how to do it. They kind of did look like babies as they struggled to figure out how to unbutton their sleepers or onesies. But it didn’t last long because the nannies shocked anyone who showed any sign of resistance.

 

            “Eventually we all settled down and began to talk. You might be a little surprised that the nannies allowed us to do this, but remember, they still didn’t really know what they were doing; remember, they had just driven five kids insane, so they decided to be a little bit nice to us. If we were all driven insane, the program would be deemed a failure and they’d all be out of jobs, especially since a lot of money had already been poured into the program. So they basically just let us be and decided to watch how we acted.

 

            “One we all settled down, we began to seriously talk with one another. It was so much nicer to be able to see each other and start putting faces, voices and names together. We started to get to know each other and get along.

 

            “Over the next few days we were still put into our cribs to sleep, bottle-fed, given baths, and had our diapers changed. But we were still allowed to talk with one another, and we all started to become friends.

 

            “The nannies were in a bit of an awkward situation. Remember, the directors, who gave the nannies their instructions, still didn’t really know what they were doing. They didn’t want to risk driving any of us insane, but they also knew they had to do something; at the current rate, we were still acting completely like teenagers despite our forced baby state. So the directors began to experiment with us.

 

            “Different groups of us were forced to do certain things. Some kids were forced to suck pacifiers or be subject to shocks. Some were made to hold and cuddle teddy bears for hours. Some were put down for naps during the day. Some were made to play with baby toys. Some were only talked to in baby-talk. Some were spoon fed, some were bottle-fed, and some were both. Some had baby powder used for changing, others baby oil or baby lotion. Some were made to cry when they were hungry or wet.

 

            “It was really embarrassing for us to go through all of this, but after weeks and weeks the nannies still had no luck. Despite our humiliation, we were still allowed to talk to each other, and we all still had teenage mindsets.

 

            “During this time I got to be really good friends with Ricky and a couple of other kids, named Andy Higgins, Jamal Houston and Ryan Peterson. We became really close, and despite our conditions, we managed to actually enjoy ourselves. We shared stories about our pasts and we talked about what the nannies had done to each of us. We began to gain confidence.

 

            “It looked like everything was going to be fine. The nannies became more and more stressed about their failed attempts, and the program was going nowhere.

 

            “But then we made our first big mistake, even though we didn’t know what we were doing. There was one kid named Scotty who was having trouble fitting in with everybody else. He couldn’t get over his baby treatment, and even though a lot of us complained and even cried a few times, Scotty just simply couldn’t take it. We started shunning him because he always seemed to whine a lot, and he was often left out.

 

            “One day, he started uncontrollably crying. We thought he was just whining again, but then we saw that he was crying the way that babies do. Before the nannies came over, we managed to calm him down. But when we tried to talk to him, he only let out gurgles. We couldn’t get him to talk to us, and at first we thought he had been driven insane. But then Ricky realized what had happened. Scotty’s mind had been reduced to the mind of a baby.

 

            “The nannies quickly realized this, and they were overjoyed. They began to get excited and treated him just like a real baby. His reactions were exactly the same as a baby’s and they knew that they had had their first success.

 

            “This was terrifying to us. We simply couldn’t believe that all of this baby treatment had worked and that they had successfully turned Scotty into a baby. The nannies began to gain confidence and continued to their various experiments on the rest of us.”

 

            “Wait,” I said. “You said you guys made a mistake. What did you do?”

 

            “Ah,” Johnny said. “You see, kid, even though neither us nor the nannies realized why Scotty had been decoded at that particular time, it was really us kids’ fault that it had happened. Ok, listen up, because here’s the secret to the decoding process. A kid has to be treated exactly like a baby by EVERYONE. You see, that’s why we had lasted so long; we were still talking to each other. By doing this, we reminded each other that we were really teens, not babies. But we had been shunning Scotty and had stopped talking to him. The only interaction he had was with the nannies, and they all simply treated him like a baby. Given enough time, his mind started believing that he really was a baby, since that was the only thing he was ever told.

 

            “Anyway, despite their success, the directors still didn’t know why Scotty had been decoded, and for that matter, neither did us kids. But about a year passed, and the fourteen of us were still there. We could tell that the nannies were becoming frustrated again.

 

            “Unfortunately, we began to get worried that we wouldn’t escape. Some of the kids were still worried that they would suffer Scotty’s fate, and before we knew it, another one of us did.

 

            “It was a Hispanic kid named Marco. I think it happened because he had been forced to spend a lot of time alone in a playpen. Thankfully, there were also a lot of other things the nannies had only been doing to him, ranging from burping him to rocking him to sleep. They still had no idea that his isolation from us had caused it, and neither did we.

 

            “Our lack of knowledge caused terror and panic among us. Before we knew it, three more kids had become babies. It’s hard to know exactly why, but I have some ideas. These three kids were kinda weird, and I think they got decoded more for other reasons than simply being isolated.

 

            “I think Chris, the first, just gave up. I think he got tired of fighting, because one time he told me he started to like being treated like a baby. He said he felt truly loved for the first time in his life, and said that if he had to be a baby to be loved, he would be a baby.

 

            “Tyrone, the second, found an interest in baby toys. Despite being able to talk to each other, we still got pretty bored. Eventually we started playing with the toys we were given to pass the time. Tyrone got so into it that I think it started eating away at his mind, and eventually he started acting just like a baby.

 

            “Richie, the third, was really weird. He started getting a thing for baby food. He once told me he loved the way it tasted, and like Tyrone, he got in so deep that he just began to act like a baby.

 

            “But these are only my guesses. But for whatever reason, we were down to ten. Despite the nannies joy at having three more baby boys, they couldn’t get the rest of us to crack, and they were still clueless as to why they had been successful with the other five.

 

            “More time passed and we were still teenagers mentally. We started to gain a lot of confidence, believing the first five were just weak. Since we had each other, we felt fine with our situation. True, we were now diaper dependent and couldn’t walk or do much else physically, but we were so used to our baby treatment that it wasn’t embarrassing anymore. Yeah, in small ways we started acting kind of weird. Most of us often sucked our pacifiers and carried around stuffed animals and blankets, but we weren’t really embarrassed about it. And bottle-feeding, baths and diaper changes were just normal, everyday activities.

 

            “But then we made our second mistake; we started to get too cocky. Remember, we were all rebels, part of the reason that had gotten us in here in the first place. We began to get extreme satisfaction in the nannies’ frustration, and we started to push them even further. We’d make the other five babies (who were still with us) cry. We’d knock over cribs and changing tables. We’d throw our pacifiers at the nannies. We always laughed about it afterwards, and it was pretty fun to make the nannies’ tempers boil over.

 

            “However, they finally had had enough of it. This is when they came up with the ideas of punishing us. One day one of the nannies told us that since we were babies, we would be punished like babies. One by one, we were held down and spanked. Not only did it kind of hurt, but it was very humiliating. A couple of us even broke down and cried.

 

            “They saw us humiliated for the first time in a while, so they continued to do it whenever we stepped out of line in the slightest bit. Oh, they still shocked us, but most of us had built up a pretty decent resistance by then. The spanking was far more effective, and it seemed like no matter how many times it happened, it was still very degrading.

 

            “Casey eventually cracked. He couldn’t take it anymore; he told me that it reminded him of when his dad used to beat him. He started to find comfort in his teddy bear and pacifier, and before we knew it, he was a baby.

 

            “This inspired the nannies to new punishments. Even though the rest of us had stopped being bothered by the spankings, they introduced new punishments. The first was level 2, where we were all shaved. This successfully decoded Jason, and we were down to eight. They hadn’t yet come up with levels 3, 4, or 5 yet; they still had no connections with the surrounding town. However, they had other ones that they don’t use anymore.

 

            “One of these was the use of enemas. My first one was truly horrible, but all of us except Stevie were still OK after four or five of them given to us over a few days. But now we were down to seven, since this punishment effectively decoded Stevie.

 

            “Next, they refused to change our diapers for days at a time. That was horribly nasty, but only Corbett was decoded. Now there were only six of us.

 

            “Next came forced crib naps. They strapped us in our cribs for weeks and weeks, changing our diapers and feeding us while we were still strapped in. Thankfully, they still left us together in the same room, so we could still talk to each other. However, when we were finally taken out, Shawn was a baby.

 

            “There were now only five of us remaining: Ricky, Andy, Jamal, Ryan, and me. Now more than ever we knew that we’d have to stick together and fight the decoding as hard as we could.

 

            “Thankfully, we were all extremely good at this. It helped that we were such good friends. Whenever, we saw one of us faltering, we got him back on track. The nannies still didn’t know what was going on, but we figured it out. We knew that as long as we reminded each other that we weren’t babies, we could stick together and fight the system.

 

            “This gave us a newfound confidence. The nannies repeated all of the previous punishments over and over again, but none of us cracked. They tried, even more ideas, ranging from making us talk stupid baby-talk and gibberish to singing lullabies and little kiddie songs to us to even (Johnny let out a shudder as he talked)….BREASTFEEDING us. But nothing worked.

 

            “On top of this, one day, a few new kids arrived. Like us, they felt extremely humiliated. We tried to comfort them and tell them how we had last so long, but it didn’t really work. The other fifteen babies seemed to scare them because they felt that the same thing would happen to them. Due to the nannies’ treatment of them, and the fact that they believed that they would eventually turn into the babies, all of the new kids were eventually decoded.

 

            “Every now and then more kids would come, but the same thing happened. Eventually, there were about fifty teenage babies crawling around. It seemed like the more babies there were, the easier it was for the new ones to give in and be decoded.

 

            “Since the system was working extremely well, the directors really began to expand and improve it. They painted the walls with baby designs, bought new furniture, and started to gather more baby toys. They hired more nannies, and the nannies began to spend more time with the babies, such as doing things like reading stories and playing games. It was probably around this time that they started to use cameras to make sure that the babies didn’t get hurt. They began to come up with schedules so that there were always nannies there to take care of the babies and give them attention.

 

            “They also were able to start reconstructing the kids, and we noticed that some appeared to be acting older. They began to speak words, walk, and drink from sippy cups. After a while, we noticed that Scotty and a few of the other earlier babies had grown up to be like little kids, and soon after they left.

 

            “The directors had basically given up on the five of us, however. They still treated us like all the other babies, but they knew we weren’t really decoded. They also began to worry about us; they didn’t care if we talked and interacted with each other, but they were worried that we would start to be a bad influence on the other babies, especially the ones that were acting older. The directors thought that maybe we might break the decoding and turn them back into horrible teenagers again. They knew something had to be done about us, especially since they still didn’t know how we had managed to fight the decoding.

 

            “So one day, while we were all sitting down and chilling, one of the nannies came over, picked Andy up, and carried him out. We didn’t think anything of it, thinking he was just getting a nap or a bath or something. But a few hours later, they carried him back in and he was crying uncontrollably. It took us about an hour to get him to stop, and we worried that he may have been decoded. But finally, he managed to talk to us again, and told us what had happened. He had been through what is now punishment level 3. We just stared in awe as he described being rolled around town in a stroller, being gawked at by the people in the city, and being baby-talked by a bunch of Catholic school girls. We couldn’t figure out why these people had gone along with it, but it truly scared us.

 

            “Over the next few days, the other four of us had to go through the same thing. We were a little bit better off than Andy since we knew what was coming, but it was still one of the worst experiences of our lives. I especially remember how embarrassed I was to have girls younger than me act like I was a real baby. There was something about public humiliation that was about a hundred times worse than anything we had experienced in the nursery.

 

            “We were all still OK though, so they proceeded on to putting us through level 4. We went through probably all the same stuff you did; we were the baby for the home economics class, and we were used as examples for bottle-feeding, spoon-feeding, diaper-changing, pacifier-sucking, crying, and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

 

            “I was only bottle-fed, spoon-fed, and changed,” I replied. “But they had a diaper changing contest, and I peed on one girl.”

 

            Johnny laughed as I told him the story, and he then said, “Well, we had it a little worse than you, but not by much. Anyway, what was really bad about it was that Ryan didn’t make it. He was the first, and when he came back, he was so distraught he couldn’t talk to us. Soon after he became a baby, and we had to wait for Ricky to go through the punishment before we knew what it was.

 

            “But there were still the four of us. But then came the real killer; level 5. Tell me, what was it like for you? I know it’s really hard, but if you can, I want to know.”

 

            With difficulty I recounted my story for Johnny. Even though he shuddered over some details, for the most part he just nodded.

 

            “Yeah, ours was just about the same. I still can’t believe they use that stupid bonnet and jacket. Anyway, I had to go first, and I almost fainted when I saw footage of myself on that huge screen. When it was finally over, it took the other guys hours to get me back on track. I pulled through, but unfortunately, Jamal didn’t. It was simply too much for him. Ricky, Andy and I couldn’t believe it; it was now down to just us three.

 

            “We formed a completely tight bond. No matter what, we swore we’d get out of here. We tried as hard as we could to get any new kids on our side, but eventually they all got decoded. Some managed to make it pretty far, and even a couple made it all the way to level 5. But none lasted longer than that.

 

            “But the directors still wanted Ricky, Andy and me. After a while, they stopped letting us talk to the new kids. They also had developed all kinds of new techniques, and during this time, the program became basically exactly like it is today. They had perfected their methods over the years, and Ricky, Andy and I were the only three people who kept the program from being a one hundred percent success.

 

            “They decided to go with extreme measures for us. They got rid of all of the punishments except for current levels one through five. But they came up with new ones. And all of the punishments beyond level five were made specifically because of us three.

 

            “It’s been so long that I mix up which one is which. But I remember them all.

 

            “One involved the people of the town treating us like teens. This doesn’t sound bad at all, but what made it so horrible is that they made fun of us due to our babyish state. I remember a nanny rolling my stroller in front of a crowd. They trash-talked me, laughed at me, and jeered me. Then they started saying things like ‘The big bad thug is now going pee pee in his diapers!’ or ‘Not so tough now, huh? Can’t fight anybody when you need a pacifier to go to sleep!’

 

            “The next one will blow your mind. Get this; they injected this drug into us. This crazy injection made us get turned on by our baby treatment. Whenever we wet our diapers, we would get erections. Whenever we were bottle-fed, the same thing would happen.

 

            “This was unbelievably enticing. We hadn’t gotten turned on in years. I remember when I first wet my diaper after I had the drug. I was so excited that I flipped over on my stomach and immediately rubbed the front of my diaper against the carpet until I climaxed. It was the most powerful one I had ever had.

 

            “It was very effective, though. It forced us to love parts of our baby treatment. Somehow, Ricky and I managed to continue to fight, but Andy couldn’t help it. He enjoyed it all so much that he decided to become a baby again.

 

            “Now it was down to just Ricky and me. Oh they made us show off our sexual pleasure from our baby treatment in front of the crowds, who then called us pedophiles and freaks (again, they were sent propaganda to make them think this). They put us through levels one through five numerous times. They made us stay in real day care centers with actual babies to further enforce our babyish treatment. They publicly spanked us.

 

            “But we hung in there. I thought we were gonna lose it on the next one, though. They invited our old friends over to the nursery. They paraded us around in front of them in our baby clothes, and then they told our friends that we LOVED being treated like babies (of course we had pacifiers in our mouths so we couldn’t argue). To prove their point, they injected us with the drug and showed our friends how we got turned on by our baby treatment. I still remember crying when I saw guys that at one time were my closest of friends laugh at me and call me a sick freak for being aroused by my condition.

 

            “But even that didn’t break us. And then it came. Ricky was taken away one day, and when he came back, he was only barely able to recount what had happened to him.

 

            “He told me that he had been taken back to his old house. His parents were there, and so were his friends. He said his parents were overjoyed to see him as a baby, and his friends just laughed. But he said the worst was his girlfriend; she burst into tears and tried to save him from his condition, but both he and his girlfriend couldn’t do anything.

 

            “Once he finished his story, he tried to talk to me rationally. But as I tried to will him on, he just simply started to slip away. He shoved his thumb in his mouth, grabbed a blankie, and began to make gurgling noises. For the next few days I tried to get him to come back, but it was useless. Like all the others he had been decoded. It was horrible for me, especially since I had to go through the same thing with my old friends and family the next week…”

 

            But I cut Johnny off. I simply couldn’t believe what he had just told me.

 

            “Johnny,” I said. “I just realized something; Ricky is Tammy’s old boyfriend.”

 

            “What?!” he asked.

 

            I repeated the story about Tammy’s past to Johnny, and he looked just as stunned as I am.

 

            “Wow,” he said. “I don’t believe it. That’s…really sad.

 

            “Well, to continue my story, I was now alone. Everyone else had been decoded, and I felt like I was destined to the same fate. Part of me just wanted to give up; I had lost everything. My original friends, my parents, my dignity, even the only friends that I had had here. What was the point in fighting?

 

            “But Ricky’s condition fired something up in me. I wasn’t just sad or depressed anymore; I was angry. I felt like a fire was burning inside me, and I wanted nothing else but to kill everyone involved with any of this.

 

            “I was able to keep cool-headed, however. I knew the helplessness of my situation, but I was able to channel my anger into logical thoughts. I knew that the only way to get out of here was to be decoded and reconstructed. So I knew that’s what I had to do. Only, I would only make them think they had succeeded.

 

            “By now, I know they realized why Ricky and I had lasted so long. They had made efforts to separate us in the past, but through clever, secret discussions we were able to talk to each other. But now that he was gone, I knew they’d think I would be decoded in a heartbeat.

 

            “So I decided to fool them. I acted like I was decoded. It was very hard to act like a baby, but I eventually got it down to an art. And like I said before, I was able to pick up all kinds of information because they didn’t think I was listening.

 

            “Now you’re probably wondering how I managed to keep from getting decoding. It’s hard to say for sure why that’s true; at the time, I couldn’t think of any other plan, and if I didn’t do something, I would be decoded anyway.

 

            “I guess I had built up quite a tolerance. I had gone through seven years of baby treatment and some of the worst punishments imaginable. Plus, I had bee interacting with Ricky for seven years as well. Due to all of this experience, it was much easier to keep my head and fight the urges to be a baby. And I did exactly what I’ve told you to do; I stayed calm.

 

            “In addition, a lot of times when a new kid would come in, I’d talk to him. I didn’t just do this to comfort him; it also gave me the interaction I needed to continue to fight the decoding.

 

            “So for the past three years that’s what’s been going on. I memorized the camera schedules and figured out basically how everything works around here. New kids come in, and some have even managed to make it past level 5. But except for you and a couple of others who are partially decoded, I’m the only one who doesn’t have the mind of a baby. They reconstructed me for the most part, and get this.”

 

            He pulled down the front of his pants to reveal…

 

            “Pull-ups,” he said. “They’ve started potty training me. Soon, I’ll be completely trained, and I’ll be ready to move on.”

 

            With Johnny’s story finished, we both just kind of stared at each other for a little bit. I then said, “So what now? What’s your plan? When you ‘move on’, won’t you have to keep the act up in the next place they send you two?”

 

            But Johnny just laughed and said, “No way, kid. You see, here’s the thing. I’ve tried to escape this place in who knows how many different ways. So have the kids who have come through here. But the one thing that’s stopped all of the plans is this.”

 

            He pointed to the collar around his neck. “Even though it doesn’t hurt me anymore, the shock still keeps me from moving while it’s going on. No matter what I do, they’ll be able to stop me as soon as I put one toe outta line. This thing’s even got a homing device in it, so even if I did escape, they’d just shock me until they used it to find me.

 

            “But remember what I told you; once I move on, they take the collar off. And remember, they all think I’m just a sweet little two-year old. As soon as this thing is off, I make my move. I’ve regained most of my physical abilities, and I’m as mentally sharp as I ever was. I’ll catch them completely off guard and make my escape. They’ll have no way to stop me.”

 

            “But what if you fail? Or if you do escape, what do you do then?” I asked.

 

            “Well, if I fail, I’m right back in here, and I guess I’ll just finally throw the towel in and be decoded. And if I make it out, I’m sure I’ll figure out something. I know I can get a job somewhere. Anything’s better than being stuck here.

 

            “But the real question is, kid, what are YOU gonna do?”

 

            “What do you mean?” I asked.

 

            “Well, you heard my story. The only way to fight the decoding is through interaction with people who don’t treat you like a baby. They’ve perfected their methods now; they’ll make sure no new kid who comes through here gets anywhere near you. They don’t want the two of you to get together since they’d be afraid of you two talking and fighting the system together. If they knew I wasn’t really decoded, I would have never gotten the chance to talk to you in the first place. No matter what you do, you can’t fight the decoding process.”

 

            Johnny’s words hit me hard. I couldn’t believe that he was going to get out of here but that I was going to be decoded no matter what. I had always believed in the back of my mind that Johnny was always gonna be there helping me through this.

 

            Sure, Tammy was trying to help me, but she said I’d have to fight the decoding process for a long time before I’d get the chance to tell my parents I was really a baby and get a chance to start over outside of this place. And if what Johnny said was true, how could I fight the decoding process much longer?

 

             I just sat there and looked at Johnny, unable to believe that I was doomed to be a baby. But then I said something that changed the whole direction of our conversation, and by the end of our conversation, Johnny, the only person who truly knew what it was like to go through what I had gone through, would hate my guts.

 

Part 12

 

            “But Johnny,” I said. “I’m different.”

 

            Johnny just let out a soft laugh and said, “Kid, I keep tellin’ you, that’s what every kid who comes in here thinks. No one thinks they can be decoded, they all think there’s something special…”

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m different because of…you.”

 

            Johnny just sort of paused for a moment, and then quizzically said, “What?”

 

            “Johnny, you said yourself that the decoding system can be fought as long as someone can talk to someone who doesn’t treat them like a baby. And that’s what you’ve been doing to me. Think about it, we can fight the system together, it’ll be just like you and Ricky! We’ll keep talking to each other, fool the nannies ‘til we can get out of here together…”

 

            But Johnny stopped me. “Kid, do you got wax built up in your ears or somethin’? Haven’t you been listening? I’m outta here. I’m gonna be going in a just a few days.”

 

            I was a little bit surprised to hear him say this. I knew he was going to escape, but I thought he’d make some kind of change to his plans now that he realized that I hadn’t been decoded. I mean, he could have escaped somehow, I’m sure. He’d just have to wait a little longer.

 

            “But Johnny, you can’t do that to me! I’ll never make it without you! They’ll never let another kid near me until I’m decoded. And there’s no way I’ll be able to trick the nannies like you did, I’m not that strong! I just can’t do it! I need you here! You just can’t leave!”

 

            “And why not?” he asked, with that same calm tone that he always seemed to use. It started to get on my nerves, especially since I was becoming more and more anxious as I realized my predicament.

 

            “Because…” I stammered. “Because…I don’t deserve this!”

 

            Johnny just sort of stared at me for a moment. He didn’t say anything for about thirty seconds. And then, with a calm, rigid tone, he said (more to himself than to me), “You know, I don’t know why I even bother anymore. I honestly don’t know why I even talk to you kids. Because all of you are the same; selfish, conceited no-good punks.”

 

            I just kind of stared at him as he continued, now talking to me. “Take a look around you, kid. You’re surrounded by what used to be the scum of this earth. Kids who are lucky to be alive. Filthy, vile, criminals who would be better off left just robbin’ and killin’ people ‘til they died. You, me, that’s what we all are. We’re no-good, snot-nosed brats who don’t know what’s good for us.”

 

            I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but he kept going. I could hear anger rising in his voice as he spoke (although he was careful to keep his voice a whisper so that the nannies didn’t hear him).

 

            “You just don’t get it, do ya kid? Again, look around you. Had it not been for this program, every kid in here would either be dead or in jail. We’d all be getting anally raped and bullied around in a prison cell or just left cold and rotting in a gutter somewhere. Either that or we’d waste away our lives hurting and killing innocent people while we suffered every single day under our own self-loathing. Sure, we’d love our immoral lifestyles for a little while longer, not thinking about our futures while we’re out drinking and having sex. But then one day the bottom would fall out and we’d realize what a waste of human flesh we truly are.

 

            “But again I ask you to look around you. Is that what you see? Do you see kids lying in the street with heroin needles stuck in there dead carcasses? Do you see rapists who get away because their mommies and daddies don’t have the spines to let them go to jail? No, you see harmless, innocent little teenaged babies.

 

            “But it’s not just society who is lucky. The real lucky ones are these kids. Look how happy they are! If they weren’t here, they’d be wondering how they’d find food for the next day or whether or not they’d be sleeping on a park bench the next night. But no, they don’t think about that here. They get to feel true love. They get to be nurtured for and cared for in a way that they have never experienced before. They laugh and giggle as they play games with the nannies. They contently drift into soft, peaceful sleeps with their teddy bears and pacifiers to give them comfort. They get gently cooed and rocked if they feel sad or lonely. There only worries are whether or not they’re hungry or need a diaper change, and when that happens, they have a nanny right there to fix the only worries that ever cross their little minds.

 

            “This is their second chance. So many people in this world would trade anything to get a second chance in life. These kids get a chance to go back and live the way they would have had they gotten a proper upbringing. They get the love and discipline that they need to be the happy, law-abiding citizens that they should have been in the first place.”

 

            He then said in a mock voice, “ ‘I don’t deserve to be here’.” Switching back to his rigid tone, he looked directly at me and said, “You’re right about that, kid. If you got what you deserved, you’d be rotting in a jail cell, lonely without any friends. But instead of realizing how lucky you are, you’ve been complaining ever since you’ve been here. ‘Waah waah waah, I have to wear a diaper. Waah waah waah, I have to drink a baby bottle. Waah waah waah, they held me and loved me like their own child. Waah waah waah, they actually care about me.’ That’s all I here from you and every other kid who comes through here. You really do sound like a bunch of babies. You have too much pride to realize how truly fortunate you really are.”

 

            After saying his piece, Johnny just looked at the ceiling, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

 

            But Johnny’s words had a strange effect on me. As much as I resented his words, I had trouble finding them to be false. But at the same time, they angered me. Who was Johnny to tell me what was good for me? Who was he to tell me what I deserved?

 

            I now spoke to him. “And what about you?” I said, careful to keep my voice down. But anger also rose in my voice as I continued. “What makes you so special? You admitted yourself, you were just like us. You never were a goody little two shoes yourself, either, were you? You were just as horrible as the rest of us. You think you’re so much better, sitting back and only talking to kids to keep yourself from becoming a baby. Messing with our minds, only telling the kids that you choose how to fight the system. You’re just as selfish as anyone else. So why don’t you just get decoded if it’s so good for us? Why do YOU get to escape from here, while everyone else turns into babies?”

 

            As these words hit Johnny, I got a sense of satisfaction, feeling like I had made a huge point. I gave him a sly smile as he took in what I had said.

 

            But then his face changed. For the first time, I saw a pure look of hatred across his face.

 

            In a very dark tone, Johnny began to speak again. “Kid, you DO NOT want to go there. You have NO IDEA what I’ve been through. You don’t have the slightest clue what it’s like to experience what I’ve experienced here.

 

            “Think about it kid. You’ve been here a measly two weeks. I’ve been here TEN YEARS. You don’t think I felt the same way you did? Think about how many times I’ve had to wet and mess a diaper. It’s a wonder I even remember what a toilet is. I haven’t had anything but baby food and milk for ten years. I’ve been cooed and baby-talked to no end, I can hardly remember what it’s like to be called anything but ‘baby Johnny’.

 

            “But that’s the easy part. I told you kid, things are different now. When I came through, it was a WHOLE different ball game. YOU didn’t have to lie in a crib for weeks, only allowed to roll over while you heard the screams of the only other kids in the room. YOU don’t know the terror I felt when I saw kids go insane, afraid I would be next. YOU don’t know what it’s like to watch a kid mentally break down directly into a baby right before your eyes. YOU don’t know what it’s like trying to will other kids on while they cry into your shoulder for hours, fearing being turned into babies. YOU don’t know what it’s like to lie in your own fecal matter for days on end. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be confined in a crib for weeks and weeks. YOU don’t know what it’s like to have four enemas shoved into you each day for a week. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be yelled at and spit upon by a whole crowd who love seeing you being treated like a baby. YOU don’t know what it’s like to be filled with disgust as you push yourself to orgasm rubbing your penis up against a diaper.”

 

            A few tears began to come out of Johnny’s eyes as he shook with emotion, continuing by saying, “YOU don’t know what it’s like to see your friends one by one having their lives stripped away from them as they dissolve into simple babies. YOU don’t know what it’s like to hold your best friend of seven years in your arms while you have to witness him finally give up his struggle. YOU don’t know what it’s like to cower with fear as you realize that you are left completely alone, with only nannies, babies, and a few punk kids left to comfort you.

 

            “You don’t think I considered giving in and being decoded? You don’t know how many times I’d lie awake at night, telling myself I should just give in. I still wonder if that’s what I should have done. Because, the decoded kids are the lucky ones. They LIKE their diapers. They LIKE being bottle-fed. They simply LOVE their whole experience here. But for three years, I had to go through all of it from a teenage/adult perspective. But I learned the truth. I realized that I deserved just that. I understood that before I came here, I was an evil hearted kid who deserved to be sent to jail.

 

            “But after ten years, three of which I was all alone here, I’m still here. I proved that I could do it. I showed my will, my refusal to give in. And THAT is why I deserve to finally get out. If anyone deserves to get out, I DO.”

 

            Johnny wiped the tears out of his eyes and just gave me a cold stare, before saying,

 

            “So YOU make it three years here, kid. You see how much you can take by yourself. Then maybe I’ll be convinced that you know what you’re talking about. I get out of here in two days, kid. So all I have to say is, good-bye, and good riddance, LUKE.”

 

            While I just sat there stunned, Johnny crawled away out of my view.

 

            Not much happened for the next few minutes; I just continued to sit there, having trouble taking in everything I had heard. Once my mental gears started running again, I thought and thought for what felt like hours.

 

            So much had just happened during this one single day. Not only were images of punishment level 5 still running through my mind, but the result (me breaking down like I did) mystified me. It was almost as if I had lost total control of myself and was unable to regain control without Johnny’s help. I didn’t even know something like that could happen; on the other hand, I would have never thought it was possible for me to be paraded around as a baby on a stage in front of hundreds of teenage girls, either.

 

            But then of course I thought about everything Johnny had told me. His past was remarkable; it was hard to believe that he had been here ten years, and that he witnessed everyone besides him fall to the decoding process. And I was horrified by some of the things he told me he went through; I had it pretty bad, but I didn’t think my experience could slightly compare to his.

 

             But my mind was mainly focused on Johnny’s sudden change of emotion towards me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he had told me that I and everyone else here were lucky to be here. The mere thought of it made me hate Johnny; he had no idea who I was and he had no right to tell me what was good for me. Yeah, so I did some pretty bad things; I wasn’t the most well behaved kid in the world. But to say that I deserved to be degraded and treated like I was a one year old kid was an insult. This program was inhumane; no one on this planet was bad enough to have this happen to them. Compared to this, prison seemed like heaven.

 

            This was how I felt; or at least, how I wanted to feel. But for some reason Johnny’s words made my stomach feel weak. I thought about what I had done before I got here. I thought about all those nights my mom had cried because I had gotten into a fight. I thought about all the times I felt angry or sad and my dad hadn’t given a damn about me. I thought about all the times my mom looked out for me or bailed me out when I had done something bad in school. I thought about all the time my teachers had invested in me trying to get me to learn, and how I had just thrown everything back into their faces.

 

            Johnny thought I was a selfish, snot-nosed brat. The insult meant little to me by this point; countless people, including McPherson, had referred to me as such. But it was different coming from Johnny; he was someone I had truly felt was on my side. He knew what it was like to be a delinquent teenager. He knew the shame I felt from having to wear diapers. He knew what it was like to be publicly humiliated in front of crowds of people. And despite all of this, he praised the program. He said that I was lucky to be here.

 

            I looked around the room. I had never really thought about the kids here; I really viewed them in the same way that I had viewed real babies. To me they were nothing more than babies. But they were all once just like me, law-breakers who would probably have grown up to be criminals who would die or be thrown in jail before they were thirty. But now they were harmless. They were innocent kids who were happy just to be held and loved.

 

            Was the program really fucked up? Was it really that bad? I had already gotten used to wearing diapers and being bottle-fed; after a while it wasn’t really all that embarrassing. Had Johnny been right all along? Was it my pride that was the problem? Should I be thankful to be here?

 

            I tried to find a flaw in Johnny’s logic. It seemed like there must be something that I could say that would prove that this program was just morally or ethically wrong. But was it if it really fixed kids? Johnny had told me that the system worked, and that a few criminal kids who had been through the program were now happy citizens.

 

            Did the ends justify the means? Or did that still not mean the program was right?

 

            But the real question was my own personal role in all of this. My life had been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I would get huge thrills out of going out, drinking and fighting. But once it was all over, I didn’t really feel satisfied. I felt empty inside. I had no one to tell about my, well, my feelings. None of my girlfriends wanted anything more than a good screw. My friends all would have laughed at me and told me to stop being a faggot. My dad probably would have said the same. And my mom…I think she just wanted to form me into someone I wasn’t rather than listen to what I truly felt.

 

            Had I ever really been loved? Had anyone really cared about me? Did this program really offer me that? Should I start over from scratch and get the attention that any human being deserves from the beginning?

 

            Was I really just a baby who needed to be nurtured and cared for?

 

            I still didn’t know what to think about all of this, and I was rocked out of my deep thought by someone picking me up. It was of course another one of the nannies but I couldn’t see her face. I then noticed that I was wet again; I guess all of my thoughts had distracted me. Preparing myself mentally for a diaper change, I just let out a sigh.

 

            But the nanny didn’t carry me to a changing table; instead she carried me out of the nursery. I was puzzled about this until I heard a voice.

 

            “Shh…I’ve got something to tell you. I’ll change you in one of these tiny rooms without cameras.”

 

            I was a little surprised to realize it was Tammy. Everything that had happened had almost driven her out of my mind. And now she had something to tell me. I just waited patiently as she slipped into one of the tiny changing rooms.

 

            She quickly put me down on my back and began to change my diaper. As she did so, carefully keeping her voice down, she said, “Ok, I don’t have much time. It’s time for your nap and I don’t think they noticed me taking you in here. But they’ll notice you’re gone soon. So let me fill you in.”

 

            She removed my wet diaper and started to wipe me. I began to speak, since I wanted to tell her about Johnny.

 

            “Tammy, I’ve got something to tell you about too…”

 

            “There’s no time!” she hissed. “Cody, listen. I know you’ve just been through hell and I’m extremely relieved that punishment level 5 didn’t reduce you to a baby. But now that it hasn’t, I need you to help me out. You have to passively fight the decoding. I don’t know how you made it through level 5, but if they make you go through it again, or worse, put you through a higher level, I don’t know if you’ll make it. So you have to promise me you’ll be good and not push their limits!”

 

            “Why?” I asked as she took out a new diaper and placed it underneath me. It felt like she was my mom and was telling me to just be a good little boy. After all, I hated being told what to do. “What difference does it make?”

 

            “A lot!” she said as she started to tape my diaper around my waist. “Because I’ve just had a major breakthrough. It looks like I’ll be able to get you out of here in just a few days, but it won’t matter if you get decoded between then and now.”

 

            A rush of excitement filled my body. I couldn’t believe it; I’d be leaving this place intact in a matter of days! I excitedly asked her, “What have you found out? What’s the breakthrough?”

 

            After she fastened my sleeper back on me, she began to say, “Well, I’ve recently found out…”

 

            But the door to the room slammed open. Standing in the doorway were two nannies, and they didn’t look happy at all.

 

            “Tammy, what are you doing?” asked one of them.

 

            As Tammy stood there surprised, the other nanny rushed past me and grabbed me into her arms.

 

            Tammy just said, “I was just taking Cody here, and um, changing him before his nap…”

 

            “And you had to take him here to do so, huh? I’ve been watching you lately. Took Cody out to the park yesterday, did you? Was it just to show him off? Or is there some other reason you’ve been so interested in him?”

 

            Tammy just responded, “Look, you know as well as I do that Cody’s just a filthy little brat who needs to be babied to set him straight. Ask the kids in the park, they made fun of his diapered state.”

 

            Before I could hear anymore of the conversation, the nanny who was holding me carried me out of the room. The last bit I caught was the other nanny saying, “Well, I think it would be best for all of us that you stay away from Cody from now on. I think you believe that you’re a little bit above the system, don’t you Tammy? You had better watch yourself, or you might find out that conceited little girls might need to be reminded that just like babies, they are not in charge. Speaking of which, why did you not just change Cody back in the nursery instead of bringing him here?”

 

            But I wasn’t able to here Tammy’s response. I struggled to escape, but a shock kept me from doing so. The other nanny carried me into a crib room. After feeding me a bottle while rocking me in a rocking chair, the nanny strapped me in a crib for the night.

 

            I was left there in thoughts again. Now another piece of information was lodged in my brain. On top of everything else, now I was thinking about Tammy. She had said that her “breakthrough” could get me out of this place in a few days. But now she had been caught sneaking me out of the nursery. Would she be punished? Would she be fired? Was it even possible that she could be shipped away and forced to be in a start-over program?

 

            It seemed like one thing was for sure; I wouldn’t be seeing her for a while, considering what the nanny had said. But I still had the faint hope that maybe she would still be able to get me out of here in the next few days, despite our encounter with the nannies.

 

            My mind was so overwhelmed that I drifted off to sleep in no time. As I did, I knew one thing was for sure; it had definitely been one crazy day.

 

Part 13

 

            I still remember that night very well. Once again, my sleep was filled with dreams. Most of them I forgot, but not one. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget this dream, because it was the thing that changed my entire life.

 

            I was walking down a street in my neighborhood. I was in normal clothes and it was just like any other time that I had walked down that street. Suddenly, all around me, a bunch of guys that I had known had appeared. These were guys that I had fought many times and I knew they wanted to beat me to a pulp.

 

            But I had a knife in my hands, and before any of them could do anything, I slashed and slashed. A few of them fell to the ground bleeding and screaming in pain. As the rest closed in, I dodged their attacks and sank my knife deep into their bodies one by one. I felt a rush of triumph and joy as I did so; I had slain my enemies and their bodies were left twitching on the ground before me.

 

            Then the mood changed. Because as I stood there, each one of the guys stood up. But now, they weren’t themselves anymore; they had each transformed into one of the nannies in the center. Each had a smile on their face, and one said, “Naughty wittle Cody needs to be punished for being a bad boy!”

 

            They closed in on me, and as they did so, I noticed that each one had a baby item in their hands. One had a container of baby powder, one had a diaper, on had a pacifier, one had a teddy bear, one had a baby bottle…the list continued.

 

            Each one let out a triumphant laugh as they knew they were about to have their way with me. But I was ready this time; I didn’t cower before them as I had in my previous dreams. I was pissed; all the anger and hatred I felt inside because of all of the times they had taken control of me and forced me to drink a bottle or wear a diaper filled my entire body. Now I had no collar around my neck, and they had no control over me. Especially not when I had a pistol in my hand, as I did now…

 

            Before they could step any closer, I pointed my gun and pulled the trigger, lodging a bullet right in the forehead of the nearest one. As she screamed and collapsed, I turned and shot another one in the stomach.

 

            The others began to realize the danger they were in, so they each dropped their baby item and turned to run. But as they did so, I picked them off one by one and laughed heartily as I heard their squeals of pain.

 

            I then shot one in the leg and watched her grasp it and crash into the pavement. I walked over and turned her over so I could see the look of terror on her face. It was the nanny who had first taken me to see the girls at the Catholic school. Hatred burning inside me, I shot her four more times in the legs just to torture her as much as I could. I finally ended it by putting the barrel right up against her forehead and firing, feeling not the slightest sense of remorse as her brains splattered against the pavement.

 

            There was one left, however. As she tried to make a break for it, I caught her in the leg as well and watched her hopes of escaping me drift away. I ran over and turned her body over. It was the nanny who had taken me to punishment level 5, the one who I had hated the most. In seeing her face I was filled with a rage that I had never experienced before, and the only thing I wanted to do was inflict as much pain as possible onto every single inch of her body.

 

            I took the pistol and beat her with it. Blow after blow struck her head and I blanked out her terrified yells as bruises formed on her face. I was in control now, and I was going to make her pay for every bit of humiliation she had forced on me. I took my fists and pummeled her stomach, and then I stood up and stomped her as well. I then decided to end it; I grabbed a nearby knife and stuck in directly in her throat, feeling deep satisfaction as her body finally went limp.

 

            Standing up, I let out a triumphant yell as I stood there in my glory. An insane laughter took over me, and I felt on top of the world.

 

            But then I heard a sound; it was the sound of someone crying. Looking around, I noticed that there were now children all around me. There were boys and girls, ranging from age five to age ten. Each one was kneeling beside one of the nannies, and tears were pouring down their faces as they let out loud sobs. They were shaking with grief and their high pitched cries hurt my ears.

 

            Realizing what I had done, I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands, forcing myself not to look at them. But then they started speaking to me, yelling at me with grief and anger.

 

            “YOU KILLED MY MOMMY!” one girl screeched. “How could you?! She was so nice!”

 

            “MINE TOO!” yelled a boy. “You’re a monster! She’s dead because of you!”

 

            They all yelled out similar things and I broke down into tears, wishing they would stop.

 

            As I looked up, more people had appeared. The bodies of the guys I hated were on the street now as well, and their were older couples around each one of them, also crying uncontrollably.

 

            “My little boy!” screamed one woman. “You took my little boy away from me!”

 

            A man yelled, “You little brat! You’ve destroyed my boy’s life! You’re worse than the dirt on my shoe! You deserve to be tortured to death!”

 

            “You’re nothing!” yelled a woman. “I should stomp you like the bug you are! You don’t deserve to breathe the air of this world!”

 

            “STOP!” I yelled out, tears still running down my face. “I didn’t mean to! I..I’m sorry!”

 

            “That doesn’t take back what you did!” yelled a man. “You’re worthless! You’re an evil, selfish little punk and no one on this earth gives a damn about you, because they shouldn’t! You think only about yourself and what you want! You don’t care about anyone else!”

 

            “SHUT UP!!!” I screamed. “It’s not my fault!”

 

            I then heard my dad’s voice. Standing right in front of me, he yelled. “Yes it is, you little piece of trash! We did our best for you, tried to make you realize that you were throwing your life away! But noooo, you continued to be a selfish little wussy, and because of that, I’ll never admit you’re my son!”

 

            I felt his spit fall upon my face. I screamed again, grasping my head with my hands. I felt as thought my head would explode.

 

            I then heard my mom’s voice, crying. “Cody, what happened to you?” she said through her sobs. “You used to be such a sweet little baby! Now look at you! You’re a horrible person! We really tried to make you listen! We tried to get you to do right! But you still act like a selfish baby!”

 

            “NOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I screeched. “That’s a lie! I’m not a baby! I’m a fourteen year old boy!”

 

            “You’re an excuse of a fourteen year old!” my dad said. “You should have never been born, because you just made this world worse! Don’t you get it? We hate you. We all hate you. No one gives a damn about you!”

 

            “He’s right,” my mom said. “We used to love you, Cody, but now we all hate you.”

 

            Everyone in the crowd said the same thing, screaming “WE HATE YOU! WE HATE YOU!”

 

            I collapsed onto the ground in a heap, curling myself up into a ball. I tried to block out there voices. Eventually, their voices started to fade. As I kept my eyes closed, the voices eventually disappeared. I opened my eyes, and was shocked at what I saw.

            

            I no longer was on a street, but now on a never ending patch of grass. The sun was bright and the sky was blue. And standing right in front of me was Tracy, with a big smile on my face.

 

            I was still crying, and this prompted Tracy to say, “Don’t cry, Cody. I’ll make it all better!”

 

            “But…but…no one likes me! They all hate me!” I said through sobs.

 

            “Well, Cody, you see, that’s because they want you to be something that you’re not!”

 

            “W…what?” I asked.

 

            “They want you to put others before you. They want you to be responsible. They want you to think about your actions. They want you to understand and do what they say. But you shouldn’t have to do that…you can’t do that!”

 

            “Finally, someone understands!” I yelled happily. I was so happy that I didn’t care that Tracy was now much, much bigger than me and that I now lying down naked on a big white cloth.

 

            “That’s right!” Tracy said with a smile. “Because they want you to be fourteen. They don’t understand that you’re not fourteen, you’re still a baby!”

 

            She leaned over me and smiled, gripping the edges of the white cloth and pulling it over my waist.

 

            “You see, Cody,” she said. “Babies can’t listen to adults. They are selfish. They don’t think about their actions. They aren’t responsible. And I know that you are just like that…you’re a baby!”

 

            I began to cry again as Tracy took two safety pins and pinned the cloth tightly around my waist.

 

            “No, I’m not a baby!” I yelled at her.

 

            “Yes, Cody, you are,” Tracy said as she tied a baby bonnet around my head. “You’re still a baby. But that’s ok! I don’t hate you like everyone else does. They don’t know you’re a baby, but I do. So I will treat you like one and love you like one. Until you’re ready to grow up, I’ll treat you like a baby!”

 

            “No,” I said as she tried to put a baby bottle into my mouth. “No…no…no…”

 

            I then woke up and found myself in my crib again. It was still night, and I was shaking, sweating, and breathing heavily because of my dream.

 

            It took me a few minutes to calm down and think about it. It had been extremely scary and disturbing. All I could think about was how I had killed those nannies, how everyone was crying, how everyone viewed me as a waste of flesh, and how Tracy had said it was because I still acted like a baby.

 

            I remembered how Johnny had told me I was lucky to be here. I remembered all of the attention and care the nannies had given me. I remembered how happy every one of the other kids here had been.

 

            I couldn’t really figure out why, but I had a bit of an epiphany; they were all right. I realized that for all those years I had been wrong; I had been acting like a childish, disobedient little two year old. I didn’t listen to what the people who looked out for me were trying to tell me. I had made them all hate me. That’s why my parents sent me here; it was for my own benefit, not punishment. They wanted to give me a second chance, a chance to grow up and do everything right. I was still a baby and I needed this program to force me into my true role and then get me to go through and grow up, something I had never done before.

 

            This change of outlooks may have happened very suddenly, but the dream had been that powerful. I felt like a blindfold had been lifted from my eyes and I now saw life the way it really was. I had painted this false image in my mind of who I was and why I did what I did, and now I realized how wrong I had been. It was amazing and hard to believe, but I had been through a lot in the past few weeks that was amazing and hard to believe as well.

 

            I couldn’t get back to sleep. My dream had been too scary, plus the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about what it had made me realize. Hours passed, and eventually a nanny came in to get me up.

 

            I was almost in a daze as she changed my dirty diaper, gave me a bath and spoon-fed me. I complied without the slightest since of resistance as I continued to think about everything.

 

            Eventually I was plopped into a nursery again. I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I just leaned against a wall and stared at the floor.

 

            Hearing someone come over, I looked up. To my great surprise, it was Johnny. As he crawled closer I noticed the look on his face; it wasn’t angry at all, but kind of solemn.

 

            As he got close to me, he looked at me, let out a sigh, and in his calm, normal voice (minus the sarcasm) said, “Look, kid…I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”

 

            I was puzzled by this, so I said, “Johnny…”

 

            But he put up a hand and said, “No really, kid, I mean it. I blew my top yesterday. I had no right to yell at you like I did. It was uncalled for, low, mean, and just petty. I’m in no position to tell you what you deserve. This place is rough, and I know more than anyone how hard it can be here. I know that you’ve done some bad stuff, but it was wrong of me to say that you belong here and that you’re a no-good brat. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of positive qualities about you and that your friends and parents do love you…”

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s the thing,” I said. “You were right yesterday. You were exactly right. I’m…I’m just a baby. I’m a spoiled, pampered (literally) little brat who only thinks about himself. If I ever get out of here, I’ll change my ways. I’ll do things right. I’d grow up and stop being a baby. But until then, I should be treated like what I am…a little baby.”

 

            Johnny started to speak again, a small smile crossing his face as he did so. “Kid, no, really, you’re not a baby, I was wrong in saying that…”

 

            “No, Johnny,” I said firmly. “I was a horrible little punk. You were right, I’m lucky to be here. I don’t deserve the love and care that they give me. Everyone else hated me, and rightly so since I didn’t act like I was fourteen, I acted like I was one.”

 

            Johnny reacted strangely to this. For a few seconds, a huge grin crossed his face and he let out a small laugh. But then suddenly, his face went really serious again, and he looked almost depressed. He looked into my eyes for a few more seconds, and then asked in a depressing tone, “Well, kid, what are you gonna do now?”

 

            I just stared at him blankly. What was a I gonna do? If I really did believe what I was saying, then I should just give up and be decoded, right? If I really thought I was a baby, I should just let them treat me one and completely become one, right?

 

            So why was it that I still couldn’t make myself think that this was the right answer? Why did I still dread the thought of being turned into a helpless, mindless baby?

 

            Then it hit me; I didn’t need to be decoded to realize that I was a baby who needed to grow up. The program had already taught me that; I knew now that I had wasted my whole life acting like a baby. But I also knew that if they let me out, I could turn around my life and show them that I can grow up on my own without being decoded.

 

            But I knew they’d never buy that. The nannies would just think I was lying and causing trouble in order to make them let me go and end the baby treatment that they knew I despised. So what WAS I going to do? Once I had the answer, I told Johnny.

 

            “Johnny, I’m going to fight.”

 

            “What?” he asked.

 

            “I’m going to fight this system. I know that I’ve been wrong my whole life. I know I’ve been acting like a baby. But I also know I can make myself change. I don’t need to be decoded to realize either one of those things. So I’m gonna fight, and through this I’m gonna prove to the nannies and the creators of this program that I have a strong will that can’t be broken. I have a will to change my entire life, to grow up and live it like I should. And I will make them see that will in an unstoppable resistance to this decoding process. I will make them realize that I have the power to change!”

 

            Johnny just fixedly stared at me for a little bit, and then calmly said, “Well, kid, no one has ever done that before. There were a couple of kids who told the nannies that they knew they were babies and were willing to admit it in front of their parents and friends, and they got a ticket out of here. True, they did still have to be babies in front of their parents for a bit…”

 

            “No, Johnny, I’m not doing that,” I said. “My parents would never take me back in; they don’t really love me, they just put me here to make me grow up so they wouldn’t have to do it. I know it’s my fault that I never grew up, but if they had helped me out instead of just yelling all the time, I probably would have been different. No, I’m gonna do this on my own.”

 

            “Well, kid, it’s like I said, no one has ever done it. Donny had a record of five years, and even I only managed to fight for seven, and I had friends with me. But, kid, if anyone can do it, you can. You’ve already broken all sorts of records here, and if what you’re saying is true, I believe you can do it.

 

            “Well, kid, my time here is almost up. Tomorrow’s the day that I get out of here, so today they’re gonna do all sorts of tests on me to make sure I’m ready. So I have to be going, and I don’t think I’ll be seeing you again anytime soon, if ever. So, kid, good luck.”

 

            “You too,” I said. “I hope your escape plan goes the way you want it to.”

 

            “Me too, kid,” he said. Then, he crawled very close to me and gave me a hug. I gave him one too. After he let go, he waved bye to me and crawled over to a nanny. As she picked him up and carried him out of the room, I waved again and felt a tear fall down my cheek.

 

            It was hard to believe that Johnny was really leaving. I had gotten so used to him being here; even if I didn’t always see him, I knew he was still there and I always felt that I’d get a chance to talk to him in the near future. But with him gone, I was now on my own.

 

            This was even more accentuated by the situation with Tammy. I really had no idea what was going to happen to her. Was she gonna keep working but just be prohibited from seeing me? Or was it something more serious? Would she be punished somehow? Would she be fired? Was it even possible that they would go so far as to put her in a program like this one for girls?

 

            And what about Johnny? Would his escape plan work? Would he be out on his own and become the first kid ever to successfully fight and escape the program? Would he be able to do OK in the real world?

 

            Or would he be caught? I shuddered to think what would happen to him if he failed. He had already been through so much here, and they even thought that he had been decoded for three years. They sure would be surprised when they found out he had fooled them. But they would also be extremely angry, so if he failed, he would be so deep in shit he’d be swimming in it.

 

            Suffice to say, no matter what happened, it didn’t look like I’d be seeing Tammy or Johnny for a long time. Just how long it would be was a complete mystery.

 

            With that in mind, I began to think about what I would do now. Without Johnny or Tammy to talk to, I was doomed to spend my time here with no one to talk to who didn’t treat me like a baby. According to Johnny, because of this, I had no chance of fighting the decoding. But I had to try; my desire to prove them wrong about me was too strong.

 

            I didn’t know what the best strategy was, but I decided that the first thing I would do is take the collar out of their weaponry. Even though there was no way I could get it off, I could build my resistance to it. Under my breath, I uttered a cuss word. Like always, I received a five second shock. It was horrible, but I knew that I could take it. Over the next few minutes, I kept saying cuss words and getting shocked. It started to wear me out after a while; it was harder than I thought, and the pain was still pretty excruciating. Nonetheless, I pressed on, knowing that it would pay off in the end.

 

            I only got about another thirty seconds before it was time for a nap. A nanny took me away to a crib, and with the pacifier in my mouth, I was unable to continue to build my shock resistance. Besides, I was exhausted, so in no time I was fast asleep.

 

            I slept very peacefully; “like a baby”, I guess you could say. But after a quick bottle and diaper change, I was once again left by myself in the nursery. Careful to make sure the nannies weren’t watching, I continued to fight against the collar.

 

            I continued to do this for the next few days. It was one of the hardest things I had yet to do here, especially because eventually the shocks became longer with each curse. It only took a certain number of shocks to bring tears to my eyes, and I had to struggle to keep myself from screaming in pain.

 

            But I refused to give in. I was partly motivated because I could tell that little by little I was getting used to the pain. In addition, I timed it so I could give myself breaks.

 

            During these breaks I would think more about how I would fight the system. I knew the number one rule was to stay calm and not lose my cool, no matter what the nannies did to me. I decided to just make myself completely swallow my pride and not let the baby treatment bother me. Johnny was right; so what if I had to piss my diaper? So what if I had to suck a pacifier? It wasn’t really that bad once you got used to it.

 

            But at the same time, I didn’t want to get too into it. If I let down my guard and let myself drift away in my baby treatment, I knew there would be a huge risk of turning into a baby. I knew I had to keep on fighting the system and do whatever I could to make the nannies forget their positions and talk to me like a teenager rather than a baby.

 

            This line of thought led me to strive to keep a balance; I would press the nannies just enough to make them irritated with me but not angry. I would act like a good little baby for a few days, and then all of a sudden do something bad. I decided to show them that the shocking wasn’t affecting me; I felt this would help to make them get more frustrated with me and slip up. However, I didn’t want to push them too far; I thought it would be best if I could make them stick to the first couple of punishment levels.

 

            A few days in I began to implement my strategy. It was difficult to pass the free time, but I tried to look for ways to amuse myself. At first I managed to just do stupid things, like picking at the carpet or counting ceiling tiles, to pass the time. This was really boring, but I knew it would help me keep my teenage mind. However, those toys and stories became more and more tempting.

 

            Still, I was a good little boy for a few days. The nannies seemed to be happy as I giggled during diaper changes and eagerly sucked down the milk in my bottles. But after those few days, during a diaper change, I un-strapped myself and tried to roll off of the changing table. I got a shock, and I faked a cry to satisfy the nanny.

 

            I continued this same routine for a few more weeks, sometimes pushing the nannies further than others. I tried to be creative in my ways of defying them; it gave me some laughs if nothing else. After a few weeks I managed to get a full resistance to the shocks; they hardly affected me at all. Once I reached that state, I decided to push them a little more.

 

            The spankings weren’t really a big deal at all; they hardly hurt compared to the shocks, and it wasn’t really all that embarrassing. However, I didn’t want to press my luck; I screamed and thrashed in fake humiliation when I got spanked, just to make them think they were getting to me.

 

            Weeks passed and passed. So far, my plan was going very well. I managed to keep my head and make sure I didn’t lose my teenage thoughts. I managed to enjoy myself enough to pass the time without becoming too bored. I wasn’t phased at all by any of my baby treatment. I shifted my behavior enough to frustrate the nannies and keep them on their toes. I hoped I would confuse all of the people in charge my making them think they were doing a good job on me but then make them realize that I was still fighting. My acting really seemed to confuse them; for all I knew they thought I was becoming subject to mood swings.

 

            Either way, I was cruising. I had managed to make it really far without being decoded. But it was becoming harder and harder to keep this pace up.

 

            Johnny was right; you did lose track of time in this place. After a while I was completely oblivious as to how long I had been here. I also began to get anxious because I had heard nothing from Tammy; as more and more time passed, I began to doubt whether or not she would be able to help me. After all, for all I knew she was being treated like a baby right now. And there was still no sign of Johnny, either. I still lay awake at night sometimes wondering what those two were doing as I was still stuck here.

 

            I was sure that new kids were being introduced into the program, but like Johnny had said, I never saw them, since the nannies knew that I still wasn’t decoded. Without anyone to talk to, I really had to work hard to keep my head on straight.

 

            I began to get sick of the baby food and baby bottles. I began to get more and more tired of having to get my diaper changed or be given baths. I couldn’t resist the urge to play with baby toys to keep me entertained.

 

            I slipped up a few times and pushed the nannies too far, meaning that I had to go through punishment levels three, four and five again (although each one at separate intervals). The second times weren’t nearly as bad, especially since Johnny had made me feel better about it before. But still, they definitely put a dent in my resisting process.

 

            Slowly but surely, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep up my fight. Sometimes I would just zone out, and before I knew it, I would have been playing with some blocks for hours. More and more often I would let out a cry when I was hungry or wet and not even mean to. Babyish giggles would slip out of my mouth when being changed. I would slip into states of bliss when sucking my thumb or cuddling a teddy bear. I still managed to snap myself out of it whenever I began to slip up and act like a baby, but it started happening more and more frequently.

 

            Time continued to pass on and on and I really began to get worried. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to keep this up for much longer. It became clear to me that the nannies and creators knew what they were doing and were completely unrelenting in keeping up my babyish treatment. To make matters worse, one day one of the nannies told me that my parents had heard about my bad behavior in the program, and that they refused to take me back until I had been completely decoded and reconstructed. Although I knew that it was possible that the nannies were lying and just telling me this to make me give up, but at the same time, it sounded exactly like the kind of thing my parents would do.

 

            I truly became desperate, and I lost all hope in Tammy. She surely would have done something by now. I knew that I was completely on my own, and that my only hope was to fight the process until they gave in. It was either them or me. But I still had no clue as to how long I had been here, and I knew that the record was five years. I tried not to think about the time as I continued to struggle to fight.

 

            Eventually I wasn’t even myself anymore. I would just black out for minutes at a time and realize that I had been a baby during that time. But I was still able to regain my composure and remind myself of who I was. But I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted by all of this that I needed a nap to get back my strength. After even more time I got to the point that I was surviving day by day. Each day I told myself ‘Just one more day…just one more…they’ll give up if you keep fighting just one more day…’

 

            But give up they didn’t. In fact, they seemed to notice that I was cracking, and they seemed to have an extra skip in their step when dealing with me. I was truly disgusted by the fact that I was in a state that I couldn’t really defy them the way I wanted to anymore.

 

            One night after being put in my crib, I just burst into tears. I guessed that it had been about a year since I had entered the program, and I was just a shell of the person that I once was. ‘What’s the point?’ I asked myself. ‘What’s the point in fighting? Nothing’s gonna change. I’m doomed to this fate. Everyone has decided that I need to start over. Maybe Johnny was right. Maybe I just need to start over. It’s a second chance, right? That’s it! I’ll just throw in the towel. It’s not worth it anymore. It’s too hard to keep this up. I can be happy again by giving in. I can suck my thumb without feeling bad about it. I can cuddle my teddy bear with no one telling me I’m a wussy. I can start over, make everything right, and most importantly….be…happy…for the first time in my life…’

 

            I drifted off to sleep just thinking that it was the only way. I can come to the end. It was time to just admit that they were all right and that I should accept what I truly was; a baby. But at least I could be a happy baby.

 

            When I woke up in the morning, these thoughts were still in my head. I prepared myself to just be happily held in one of the nanny’s arms and let her change my dirty diaper without a struggle. It really was the only way…

 

            But when the nanny did show up, I found out that I was wrong; apparently, it wasn’t the only way after all.

 

Part 14

 

            It was just one of the same old regular nannies, so at first I just sighed and decided it was finally time to just give up. But then I realized there was something different about this nanny; it was her face. I had never seen any of the nannies ever look as angry as she looked. I mean, they had definitely gotten frustrated with me and been very strict, but this nanny looked exactly like she hated me with all of her might. The scowl on her face was just frightening. She leaned over and began to un-strap me out of my crib violently, not caring how rough she was with me. After she got me free, she yanked my pacifier out of my mouth and said in a very angry voice, “All right, you stupid little punk, get up, let’s get this over with!” She then grabbed me and threw me over her shoulder and began to walk very quickly.

 

            I just let her carry me because I was too scared to do anything. Her actions had been so shocking that I wasn’t even thinking about everything I had the night before; I was too curious to see what was going on to give in at this moment. But I only nervously thought, ‘What the hell could I have possibly done this time? What is it now?’

 

            The nanny carried me down the hall and into one of the bathrooms. She laid me down and proceeded to change my diaper like the nannies always did, except she wasn’t gentle with me, but rather very firm, a look of anger still etched across her face.

 

            After I had been changed into a new diaper, I expected just the same normal baby treatment. So that’s why I was completely shocked when the nanny whistled and two men walked into the room.

 

            It was two of the strong guys who had carried me in this place on my very first day; I hadn’t seen any of them since. In their arms they were carrying some clothes. Once the nanny took them and unfolded them, to my surprise, I realized that they were actually parts of a dress suit!

 

            While the two guys held me up, the nanny took a white dress shirt and slipped my arms through the sleeves. I just stood there mystified as she then put my legs through a pair of black dress pants, tucked my shirt in, looped a belt tightly around my waist, and tied a black neck-tie around my neck. Next, she put some black socks and a pair of shoes on my feet. Finally, she combed my hair and brushed my teeth.

 

            I had never been the least bit crazy about dress-up clothes, but it had been so long that I had worn anything that wasn’t baby clothing that frankly, I welcomed the change. But why?

 

            The two guys put my arms over their shoulders and carried me out of the bathroom with the nanny leading the way. It felt so weird to be carried like this, with my feet being dragging along the floor; I had gotten so used to being carried in the various ways someone carries a baby.

 

            All of this made me realize something; for some reason, they weren’t treating me like a baby, at least for the moment. I wasn’t being talked to like a baby, I was wearing a suit, and I was willing to bet the only reason I was being carried at all was because my legs didn’t have the ability to walk. But what the hell was going on?

 

            I was still curious as the guys followed the nanny down the hall. Eventually, we reached a set of double doors. After the nanny opened them and went in, the guys proceeded to carry me in as well. My mouth dropped open at what I saw.

 

            We were in what looked like a very, very dark courtroom. I could just barely make out what was going on. On either side were rows of seats separated from the path me and the guards were on by a thin barrier. The rows were filled with people, and to my great shock, I recognized most of them. I saw my parents, my old friends, my old teachers…it seemed like almost like everyone from my past was here. Their faces were all expressionless, almost as if they were made of stone.

 

            The guards carried me down the little passageway for about twenty feet. There was a huge spotlight where the rows came to an end, and a tiny little chair with chains attached to its arms. In front of it stood a huge counter-like structure; it rose about ten feet up. As we got closer, I looked up and saw about twenty people behind the tall counter. I could only just make them out through the light.

 

            Finally, we reached the little chair, and the two guards lowered me into it. They then chained my arms down to both armrests. I could feel my heart beating with anxiety; I still had no clue as to what was going on.

 

            After I was in the chair, I looked up to see the people before me. The spotlight almost blinded my eyes, but I could still manage to make out the people. There were men and women, and they were all wearing dark, black robes. To my surprise, I even recognized a few of them.

 

            McPherson was up there, and he was the only one not wearing a black robe. Instead, he was wearing another damn tight, black leather suit…I still don’t understand it. I also saw Mrs. Walker, the head of the Catholic School, the woman who had displayed me in front of all of those girls. But most of them I didn’t recognize. However, I realized who I must have been sitting in front of; these were the creators of The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths. I glanced around at the some of the ones I didn’t recognize.

 

            Right in front of me was the only one who’s face I couldn’t see. It was a large figure, and I assumed it was a man. I couldn’t make out his face, but he had long hair that came down both sides of his head and I could tell he was smoking a cigar.

 

            I saw a thin old man with tiny spectacles and thin, grey hair. He was so wrinkled he reminded me of a prune. I saw a black woman with curly hair and thick glasses. I saw a young, sharp looking man with streaky blonde hair and bright sparkling teeth. I saw a black man with dreadlocks. I saw a tiny Asian woman who kind of looked like a mouse.

 

            After I got a good look around, I hear a voice to my right, “Session for Luke Cody Stephens beginning. Judge Vincent Rhines will be in charge of the hearing.” I recognized the voice; it belonged to the woman who had narrated the video package of me as a baby that was shown in front of all of the girls.

 

            “Very well, very well,” Judge Rhines’ voiced boomed out. His voice was incredibly low and it felt like it was echoing off of the walls it was so deep. “Luke Cody Stephens, is it?” Somehow I knew he was directing this question at me.

 

            I had trouble finding my voice. Maybe it was because I hadn’t talked to anyone normally in so long, or maybe it was because I was so nervous and I felt like my voice was lodged inside my stomach. I opened my mouth but no words came out.

 

            “The honorable Judge Rhines asked you a question, boy!” yelled out the old man with spectacles. “Answer him this instant!”

 

            Before I could respond, Rhanes let out a deep chuckle. “Ha ha ha…calm down, Mr. Mitwick. Give the boy some time. It’s obvious he’s frightened. Just look at him cower!”

 

            As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Rhines was right. There was something extremely intimidating about the man, and every word he spoke made me even more nervous.

 

            “It’s ok, little boy,” Rhines continued. “You probably don’t even have any idea why you are here. So I’ll let Mrs. Friedman explain.”

 

            The black lady with the curly hair stood up and began to speak, “Luke Cody Stephens, you have now currently been enrolled in The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths for three full years to the date.”

 

            Three years?! I couldn’t believe it; I truly had lost track of time! I almost felt as if I had been in a time warp! But what the hell was going on? Why was I here now?

 

            “Most children enrolled in our program are successfully decoded in a matter of weeks…”

 

            “You do know what decoding is, don’t you boy?” asked the dude with dreadlocks.

 

            “Silence, Rolivio!” yelled Mitwick to the dreadlock dude. “You cannot give away our secrets to the boy! What if he catches on? Then we shall never succeed!”

 

            “Mitwick, buddy, it doesn’t matter at this point,” said the young blonde guy in a drawling, almost bored voice.

 

            “And why not, Hale?” asked Mitwick.

 

            “Mr. Mitwick, again, calm yourself,” said Rhines in a calm voice. Even though it was so calm, it was still very loud and bass filled. “Mr. Rolivio and Mr. Hale are correct. There is no harm in telling the boy. Besides, he already knows about the decoding process anyway, don’t you, boy?”

 

            Before I could answer, the Asian lady said in a high pitched squeak, “What?! How could he possibly know?”

 

            “Because, Mrs. Pepperdine, he has been informed. There have been infiltrators into our system and Mr. Stephens was warned about our methods almost from the beginning.”

 

            “What?!” yelled Mrs. Friedman in a dignified voice. “Excuse me, Mr. Rhines, but how is that possible? It’s preposterous.”

 

            “It is not, Mrs. Friedman,” Rhines said. “Our nannies failed to do their jobs properly. My methods were perfect, but their execution was highly flawed. They allowed these infiltrators to slip through the cracks and influence young Mr. Stephens here. He has been aware from his first day what our program does and how it works. He has even received tips as to how to fight the system. That is the only reason he has lasted as long as he has.”

 

            The people on the panel in front of me began to murmur as they heard this information. Apparently they did not know this beforehand. My head was still swimming with so many thoughts that I continued to remain silent.

 

            “But Mr. Rhines,” began Mr. Rolivio. “If you have been aware of this, why did you allow it to continue? Why didn’t you stop it from the beginning?”

 

            “Because, Mr. Rolivio, it matters not. All of the boys who come through here are weaklings, and my methods are flawless. I knew it was only a matter of time before Mr. Stephens gave in. He was cuddling his teddy bear and sucking his thumb for comfort in a matter of days…he obviously did not have the will power to resist such inner temptations for long.”

 

            He let out a deep booming laugh as he said this, and many people in the audience laughed as well. This seemed to break me out of my trance, so I began to speak.

 

            “So why am I here?” I asked nervously.

 

            “Silence!” boomed McPherson. “You will not speak unless spoken to!”

 

            “Let the boy speak, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. “So you want to know, do you son? Well, as Mrs. Friedman was saying, most little boys like yourself cannot truly resist their inner desires to become babies for long. Oh, you look surprised when I say that. But I don’t know why. It’s obvious that you, Luke, have internal desires to be a baby again. That’s why you acted like one before you even stepped foot inside our program.”

 

            “Hear hear!” I heard my dad yell from the back as Rhines said this. I wanted to punch him.

 

            “All our program does is give you what you truly desire and deserve, boy. And as I predicted, you almost collapsed under your desires in a matter of days, once you got over the shock of it. But things didn’t go as planned; you had help and were led to believe that you in fact did not want this. But I did not interfere, knowing that it would not matter in the end. I decided to just watch you and see what you did, Mr. Stephens. I knew from the beginning that you were an interesting one. Why, you burst into tears on your very first day here! I laughed when I saw how easily you bent under the pressure of embarrassment. But I knew that you would be special, and once you had been informed of the system, I knew you would be a very interesting study.

 

            “Normally, when a boy fights our system for a long time, he eventually either gives in or decides he has learned his lesson. I study our tapes of the boy’s activities, and if I feel he is suitable, I give him the chance to redeem himself. As you have been informed, in order to be given release from our program…”

 

            “Mr. Rhines, you can’t tell him that!” Mrs. Walker said.

 

            “My dear Mrs. Walker, he already knows. As I was saying, to be released from our program, a boy must admit to his parents that he is in fact a baby, continue to be treated as one for a month, and then gain a proper position in society. If he fails to perform any of these steps successfully, he is re-enrolled in the program and does not get another chance to leave.

 

            “In your case, this option was impossible. From day one your parents told me that they did not even want to see you again until you were a complete baby. This made my study of you that much more interesting. So I continued to watch you.

 

            “But now, after you have fought our system for three years, there has been an unexpected detour.”

 

            “That’s right,” said a voice behind me. As I turned my head to look, I saw the most beautiful sight that I had ever seen. There was Tammy right behind me to my right, standing behind a desk.

 

            I couldn’t believe my eyes; there she was, decked out in legal attire with her hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing glasses.

 

            “Yes, I am here to vouch for Mr. Luke Cody Stephens’ release from this program.”

 

            There was a murmur of laughter from everyone in the room, including the people behind me in the rows and those in front of me.

 

            “Well look who it is,” said Hale. “The good ol’ bimbo Tammy Reynolds.”

 

            “Poor wretch probably couldn’t get another job after she left our program,” said Mrs. Pepperdine.

 

            “That’s enough,” said Rhines. “Now, for those of you who do not know, Mrs. Reynolds was once employed as a nanny in this very program. She had been working for us for a brief period of time before Mr. Stephens arrived here. However, she felt the need to alert Mr. Stephens about certain aspects of our program as well as potential ways of escaping it, in addition to other acts that she was not authorized to do. Once again, I blame our nannies for not detecting her ulterior motives from the very beginning. Even I did not see her for who she was until she had already attempted to liberate some of our other subjects from the program.”

 

            “You mean to tell me SHE is one of the ‘infiltrators’ who is part of the reason why this boy fought the decoding process?!” asked Rolivio.

 

            “Yes,” Rhines said. As he said this, many of the people on the board in front of me murmured in outrage.

 

            “Quiet,” boomed Rhines. “Yes, Ms. Reynolds succeeded in notifying many of our subjects about our system and the possibilities of leaving. She is well trained in legal expertise and has worked diligently to fight for the boys’ freedom. But you have always come up short, haven’t you Ms. Reynolds? You could never outwit one such as I, you did not have the intelligence or the power. Because you see, I was aware of your motives from almost the beginning, and you did not have the slightest clue. I was even aware of that stunt you pulled the day Mr. Stephens went through the fourth level of punishment. I had you followed and was aware of everything you told him in the park that day.”

 

            Tammy looked shocked and nervous to hear that, but she kept her composure. I sure was glad she did, because now I knew what was going on, and all of my hopes of escaping were now riding on Tammy’s shoulders.

 

            Rhines continued. “Due to Ms. Reynolds’ interference, Mr. Stephens had hopes of leaving our program, and these hopes helped him fight his decoding for even longer.”

 

            “So you mean to tell me that the only reason this little boy was able to stop the decoding was because of this silly little blonde?” Mitwick asked.

 

            “No,” Rhines continued. “He would have never even met her if he was left on his own. No, Mr. Stephens had help from another source. Another troubled youth enrolled in our system, one John Wyatt.”

 

            There was definitely a small uproar on the board as Rhines said this. “What?! Baby Johnny?!” asked Mrs. Walker.

 

            “The very same,” said Rhines. “Mr. Wyatt was one of the experimental group. He outlasted them all, making it seven years without giving in. Finally, he was clever enough to resort to tricking our imbecile nannies. I was well aware of this, and continued to allow it. I was so proud of Johnny; he was a boy with some strength in him. No matter what was thrown at him, he managed to fight it off. Loss of friends…extreme humiliation…complete loss of hope…but he did not quit. No, Johnny was the most resilient of them all.

 

            “I was most interested in Johnny. I was curious to see what was different about him, and how he succeeded where all others failed. I was also determined to make him give in; I was the creator, he was the experiment. I tried as many different methods to get him to break…I knew I was more clever and powerful than he was, and I knew I could do it…

 

            “But Johnny never gave in. I was proud of him. He even managed to fool our highly trained nannies…”

 

            As I listened to Rhines drone on about Johnny, an immense anger overtook me. I no longer felt nervous or scared. This jackass, Rhines, was talking about Johnny as if he were some lab rat. I had heard all of Johnny’s tales, I listened to the horror stories and immense pain and humiliation that he has suffered. But this was just a game to Rhines, playing with Johnny like a puppeteer does with a marionette.

 

            I couldn’t take it anymore, so I yelled out and interrupted Rhines’ speech. “But you couldn’t do it!” I screamed, shocking everybody. “You failed! Johnny was too smart for you! He made it all the way through! He managed to fight your system until you were forced to let him move on to the next stage!”

 

            “Shut up, you insolent boy!” yelled Mitwick. “Unless you want your sorry behind back in baby clothes and a crib you will shut your mouth right now!”

 

            But Rhines was just chuckling deeply, a sound that once again drove fear into my heart. “Foolish, boy,” he said calmly. “You don’t get it, do you? I knew what Johnny was doing! I even knew about his escape plan. I was proud of the boy. He had devised a clever plan and strategy and implemented it to success.”

 

            Once again this was shocking news to the board. “Wait,” said Hale. “Mr. Rhines, you knew about Johnny’s escape plan? None of us suspected a thing, and that’s why he was able to slip through our fingers once we took his collar off!”

 

            “Of course I knew about it,” Rhines said. “I knew everything about Johnny.”

 

            “Then why didn’t you tell us?” asked McPherson. “Why did you let him escape?”

 

            “Because it did not matter, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. “What was Johnny to me? He was just one of my original guinea pigs. At the beginning, I did not know how make sure our system would work. I needed a group of boys to test it on. And that’s what Johnny and his little friends were. Once I used them to perfect my system, they had served their purpose. What was it to me that Johnny left? He had learned his lesson and had enough willpower to get out. Besides, I knew he wouldn’t make it in the real world, so it mattered not.”

 

            So Johnny had escaped. But that had been a long time ago. Almost three years ago…

 

            “So you just used him!” I yelled. “You never did care about him! All you wanted was to use him to perfect your system so you could make money off of these kids! You didn’t care what kinds of torture you put us through! You didn’t even care that you used Johnny, your most prized kid, and then threw him away like a lump of coal!”

 

            “SHUT UP!” yelled McPherson.

 

            “Calm yourself, Mr. McPherson,” Rhines said. He then let out another low chuckle, and for the first time I saw his face. To my surprise, for some reason he was wearing a dark, black mask. Maybe he had been burned or something, but it made him that much scarier.

 

            “You still do not understand, Mr. Stephens,” he said. “I will not deny that I used Johnny. It matters not to me that one suffers in order for the group to benefit. You see, Mr. Stephens, my program benefits society in unimaginable ways. What is it to me if I have to sacrifice one boy in order to benefit society in these ways?

 

            “But what you really don’t understand is how naïve your perception of Johnny is. You view him almost as a hero who suffered indefinitely and valiantly escaped right under the noses of the ones persecuting him. But in fact, Mr. Stephens, Johnny is just like me. He used all of his friends. He was secretly happy when they became decoded. He caused them to stumble. He would convince them to be decoded and turned into babies. He would comfort them only so that he could convince them they wanted to be babies. Maybe a few of them were his friends, but he only kept them around to keep from being decoded. And you! You probably think he cared about you as well! My boy, he only told you about the whole process to keep himself from being decoded. He told you lies so that you would trust him, but he only wanted to keep you close enough so that he could have human contact. And what happened when he escaped almost three years ago? He turned and fled, leaving you here to become a baby again! Johnny was not some honorable hero; he was a boy who was clever enough to save his own skin before anyone else’s.”

 

            I couldn’t believe it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Rhines was right; Johnny had used me.

 

            “So,” Rhines continued. “With that out of the way, let us hear what Ms. Reynolds has to say about what happens to you now, Mr. Stephens.”

 

            Tammy got herself together and then began to speak. “As I mentioned before, I am here to request the release of Luke Cody Stephens from this program. As you are all aware, it is legally allowed for a youth to exit the program if he is not decoded. He must be willing to admit that he truly is a baby and that he completely deserved every bit of treatment he received. He then must spend a month being treated as a baby by his family for a full month, and then he must re-enroll in school or become employed.

 

            “As you have seen, it is clear that Mr. Stephens does not have the mind of a baby, and he is fully capable of going back into society with his current mind. He is also prepared to admit that his treatment has been just and that he truly is a baby.”

 

            I could hear the growls of the people across the board as they heard this news. It was obvious they did not want me to exit the program.

 

            But it was Rhines who spoke. “You speak the truth, Ms. Reynolds. Mr. Stephens is not decoded. However, I have my doubts as to whether he truly believes his punishment has been just. In fact, I have many tapes of Mr. Stephens recently claiming that his treatment is unfair.

 

            “However, I am not an unfair man. I will allow Mr. Stephens to present his case in front of his old friends, teachers, and parents. If he can do so correctly, we will proceed to further processes. Gentlemen, if you will.”

 

            The two guard guys came over to me, picked up my chair, and spun me around so that I was facing the audience. I saw a large group of faces all around me, and once again I became nervous.

 

            “Well, Mr. Stephens, what have you got to say for yourself?” Rhines asked.

 

            This was it; this was my chance. Finally, after all of these years, I was going to get the chance to end this torture. It was simple really; I just had to lie and tell these people that I was a baby and deserved everything I got.

 

            But as I opened my mouth and began to speak, my throat went dry. I tried to make a sound, but nothing came out. I didn’t understand it; it was so simple, why couldn’t I do it.

 

            I looked out and saw a bunch of my friends. Some had their head hung low, not wanting to see me like this. Others looked at me like I was a little wussy. Others just scowled.

 

            My parents and teachers all had large grins on their faces. This is what they wanted to hear; they wanted to hear out of my own mouth that I was nothing but a little baby who needed “grown-ups” to tell me what to do.

            

            As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Looking into their faces, I couldn’t tell the lie. I know it sounds stupid, but at that moment I felt like I would rather be forced to be a baby again than to admit that Rhines and his fucked up system were right and that just like my parents had thought, I was just a little baby.

 

            After about a minute of silence, I could hear the board laughing behind me. The guards picked my chair back up and turned me around. I hung my head low; I had lost my only chance.

 

            Rhines let out a deep laugh and with a very smug look, said, “It is as I suspected. Mr. Stephens is not ready to leave our program yet. He has not truly embraced his role in society and his overall selfishness and immaturity. I think he needs more baby treatment before he is ready to make that step. And besides, everybody knows ‘Baby Cody’ is still in love with his precious teddy bear, Timmy!”

 

            The whole room burst into laughter as Rhines let out another deep chuckle. I couldn’t believe it; Rhines knew I couldn’t admit it! And now he had won; all the work Tammy did was for nothing, and I had blown the only ticket out of here that I had. Feeling like my life was over, I felt tears run down my face as I heard Rhines say,

 

            “Ok, gentlemen, I do believe this hearing is over.”

 

            “Not so fast, Rhines my friend,” I heard a very familiar, sarcastic voice say. “I don’t think I’ve had my say in this yet.”

 

            I couldn’t believe my ears. Could it be? Jerking my head around, I managed to get a view of the still open double doors in the back of the courtroom. And there he was, in a snappy business suit, with a video tape in one hand and a briefcase in the other, with a devious grin across his face…the one, the only, Baby Johnny.

 

            As Johnny walked down the aisle, I heard audible gasps from everyone on the board. “What are YOU doing here?” asked Hale.

 

            “You filthy little gremlin!” yelled McPherson.

 

            “The pleasure’s all mine, McPherson old buddy,” said Johnny. “Hey, nice suit there. Quite kinky for all your various dominatrix lovers, I’m sure, but if you’ll excuse Mr. Rhines and I, the grown-ups have to talk.”

 

            McPherson looked furious at his remark, but Rhines forced him to be quiet. “Ah, the infamous Johnny. Looks like the coward finally makes an appearance.”

 

            “You’ve grown, soft, Rhines,” Johnny said. “You used to be able to map out all of my moves. I would have thought for sure you’d be expecting me today. You disappoint me.”

 

            “Well, now that you are here, I must ask why?” Rhines said.

 

            “Well, I do believe I have a very interesting piece of evidence right here,” Johnny said.

 

            “And you know as well as I do that all evidence must be presented in this hearing before it can over,” Tammy added.

 

            “So if you please,” Johnny said. “I have a tape to show you all.”

 

            Johnny handed the tape to the woman who spoke at the beginning. I could hear angry murmurs coming from everyone in the room, but Rhines kept his composure. Once the tape was ready to play, it began playing for all to see.

 

            I couldn’t believe my eyes; there I was, decked out in a footed sleeper in one of the nurseries, and I was talking. I watched myself speak, the camera lens focused on me:

 

            “No, Johnny, that’s the thing,” I watched my taped self saying. “You were right yesterday. You were exactly right. I’m…I’m just a baby. I’m a spoiled, pampered (literally) little brat who only thinks about himself. If I ever get out of here, I’ll change my ways. I’ll do things right. I’d grow up and stop being a baby. But until then, I should be treated like what I am…a little baby.”

 

            On the tape, we heard Johnny’s voice saying, “Kid, no, really, you’re not a baby, I was wrong in saying that…”

 

            “No, Johnny,” I said firmly on the tape. “I was a horrible little punk. You were right, I’m lucky to be here. I don’t deserve the love and care that they give me. Everyone else hated me, and rightly so since I didn’t act like I was fourteen, I acted like I was one.”

 

            Johnny then stopped the tape. I saw scowls cross the faces of the board, and Rolivio screamed out, “Where did you get this tape?! If you stole it I will have you arrested for larceny!”

 

            “Rolivio, buddy, I think you’ve got your dreads tied a little too tight,” Johnny said sarcastically. “There’s no proof to say that this tape does not belong solely to me.”

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “And you know as well as I do, Mr. Rhines, that it makes no difference where the evidence comes from. In addition, it does not matter when Cody said this; it only matters that he did indeed say it.”

            

            “But he must admit he is a baby in front his friends, teachers, and parents!” screeched Mrs. Pepperdine.

 

            “My dear Pepperdine, do use your head,” Johnny remarked. “It is written that the defendant’s friends, parents and teachers must only here this admission. It is written nowhere that it must be done in person. So if we may, I’d like to move on here, Rhines.”

 

            There were more angry murmurs from the board, but Rhine managed to quiet them down. “He is right,” Rhines said.

 

            “But Mr. Rhines…” Mrs. Walker began.

 

            “HE IS RIGHT!” boomed Rhines. “This part of the matter is settled. Mr. Stephens has met this criteria; he has admitted he is a baby.

 

            “However,” he continued. “My dear Johnny, I regret to inform you that this is not enough. You know as well as I do that in order for Mr. Stephens to exit the program, he must continue to be treated like a baby by his family for a month. And we have all heard many times that Mr. Stephens’ parents strongly refuse to have anything to do with him until he has been decoded. So I see no possible way for Mr. Stephens to exit our program at this point.” He spoke very matter-of-factly.

 

            For a minute there was silence. I felt my heart drop to my stomach. For a few brief minutes I thought I had won; Johnny had come in and saved the day, given me proof enough to get out of here. But what good was it if my parents wouldn’t baby me for a month? It had all been in vain; I was doomed to be decoded.

 

            But when it looked like all was lost, Tammy spoke. “I think you may want to read the writing a little bit more carefully, Mr. Rhines.”

 

            “What are you talking about, you little tramp?” Mrs. Walker asked.

 

            “Whoa, calm down there Walker,” Johnny said. “I know that a very old woman such as yourself must feel extreme grief that no man ever loved you enough to bear children, which is of course why you love seeing teenagers babied, but that’s no reason to take it out on Tammy here…”

 

            “Shut up, you insolent little thug!” yelled Mitwick.

 

            “Whoa, don’t have a heart attack there, pops,” Johnny responded. “What are you now, ninety? I bet Cody’s not the only one in here who’s wearing diapers again, is he?” he added with a smirk.

 

            “SILENCE!” Rhines yelled out. “What are you talking about Ms. Reynolds?”

 

            “Well, Mr. Rhines,” Tammy said. “The paperwork only says that ‘a’ family must take in Cody and baby him for a month, not necessarily his original family. That’s what we call a ‘legal loophole’.”

 

            “What are you talking about?” Hale asked.

 

            “Well duuuhhhh,” Johnny said. “I know how you made it through the seventh grade, Hale. Mommy and daddy paid off those teachers, right? And it STILL took you three years! Think about it, man. Tammy’s talking about herself.”

 

            “That is correct,” Tammy said. “I am proposing that I be Cody’s new mother. I am well trained in his baby needs, and I have a steady enough income to make sure he is raised correctly. Of course I will adhere to the policy in all ways.”

 

            There was more angry murmuring. Then Mrs. Friedman yelled, “You silly little girl, you know that the law says TWO parents constitute a family. So no matter how qualified you are, you are not enough to take care of Cody on your own…”

 

            “Whoa, don’t hurt yourself there, Friedman,” Johnny responded. “You see, my curly-fry haired friend, that’s where I come in. I myself am also qualified in taking care of Cody’s baby needs. And I have here in my briefcase my paperwork, certifying that I am an employed responsible adult. There are also papers proving that we have payments down on a house, and we are both fully prepared to take care of Cody.”

 

            Now it was Rhines’ turn to get angry. “Preposterous!” he yelled. “Mrs. Bines, investigate this supposed paperwork.”

 

            The woman whose voice I had heard on the tape at punishment level five took the briefcase from Johnny. After sorting through the papers for a few minutes, she said to Rhines, “Sir, all of the paperwork checks out. These two adults are both fully qualified to be Luke Cody Stephens’ new family, and it is perfectly legal.”

 

            It sounded as if an explosion had gone off on the board. Everyone was yelling, and even Rhines growled and banged his fist in anger.

 

            “Impossible!” he yelled. “No, there must be some reason why these two…cretins are not allowed to take care of this little piece of filth!” He had totally lost his cool.

 

            “I’m sure you will see, Mr. Rhines, that there is no legal reason why we cannot take Cody in. And if you have a problem with that, I can notify the government officials responsible for keeping this program running, and if they hear about you denying Cody from us, you can be sure that this program will be immediately shut down with all of the boys’ parents getting full refunds.”

 

            Even behind his mask I can tell Rhines’ was irate. As Mrs. Bines nodded in nervous agreement with Tammy’s statement, Tammy added, “Of course, Cody’s collar will stay on him until the first month has passed and he is done with baby treatment. And I also believe that the program is responsible in supplying both myself, Mr. Wyatt and Cody with free baby supplies and furniture until Cody is ready to move past his initial baby treatment…”

 

            As Mrs. Bines confirmed this, Rhines exploded in anger. “FINE!” he yelled. “But mark my words: if I here that Cody is not babied for a full month or that he is unable to stay in school or get a job afterwards, I will PERSONALLY ensure that he will come right back into our program IMMEDIATELY!”

 

            “Can I get that in writing?” Johnny asked with a smirk. “You know, you should layoff the donuts, Rhines ol’ man. I’m sure your blood pressure and cholesterol are already off the charts, and you don’t want all of this stress, too…”

 

            “GET OUT!” Rhines yelled. “Out of my sight! Guards! Get this nasty little thing and his two idiot caregivers out of here this instant.”

 

            “Allow me,” Tammy said. She ran over to me, and after the guards undid my chains, Tammy then picked me up and held me in her arms, just like a baby (which was kinda weird considering I was still in a suit).

 

            As she was doing so, Johnny said with that same sarcastic tone, “Ah, Rhines old buddy, you never did give us enough credit. I have to admit, you were quite genius to develop this program and you did always know how to stack the deck in your favor. But you should know, ol’ Johnny always has an ace up his sleeve. So to you and all of your wonderful creators, I say, ‘Have a Nice Day’”

 

            “GET OUT!” boomed Rhines.

 

            With that, Tammy carried me down the aisle in her arms. Johnny caught up with us, and Tammy shifted me so that she was carrying my legs and he was supporting my shoulders.

 

            It was like some crazy dream. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t know if I could take much more of this. It was all impossible. Was I really getting out of here? Was I really going to live with Tammy and Johnny? It had to be a dream. I pinched myself, expecting to wake up and find myself back in my crib. But to my immense relief, all I felt was a small pain in my cheek.

 

            “Well, Cody,” Tammy said. “It looks like we’re finally going home. Isn’t that right, honey?” she asked Johnny.

 

            ‘HONEY?!’ I asked myself.

 

            “That’s right,” Johnny said. “It took us thirteen years to do it, but we’re finally on the right track. Now let’s go home.”

 

            With that, he leaned over, and Tammy and Johnny locked lips and deeply kissed each other while still holding me. That was about all I could take; I just fainted in their arms as they walked through those double doors and down the hall.

 

Part 15

 

            When I woke up, I was in a house. My mind still felt kinda fuzzy, and it took me a few minutes to remember everything that happened before I fainted. For a second I thought that it had all been a dream, but when I saw that I was no longer at the center for the program, my heart leapt; I really was free, Johnny and Tammy were really going to take care of me.

 

            I was lying on a couch; I guess they hadn’t had any other place to put me down for the moment. I was in a living room; it looked pretty ordinary, with a coffee table, a few easy chairs, some lamps, some paintings, a TV, even a fish tank. Not an extremely nice living room or house, but a decent one.

 

            But what the hell had happened? How had they done all of this? How did they even know each other? My head was spinning with questions. Thankfully, after I lay there for a few minutes, Tammy walked in. Realizing that I was awake, Tammy smiled and said, “Johnny, he’s awake!”

 

            As she walked over to me, I heard footsteps signaling that Johnny was coming, too. Tammy smiled at me and gave me a big hug; I was pretty bewildered, but I can’t deny that it made me feel good. “How are you doing?” she asked.

 

            “Uh, I’m okay, I guess,” I said, still feeling pretty groggy. It felt really weird for someone to talk to me NORMALLY…not referring to me as a baby or a piece of filth. In fact, it was one of the first times in my whole life that someone other than my friends treated me nicely.

 

            Besides, I had been feeling like I had been going crazy for a long time now, so I was still recovering from the fact that my world had been turned upside down in a matter of hours.

 

            Johnny walked in the room wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. It was really weird seeing him. He gave a small smile and said, “So how you hangin’ in there, kid?”

 

            Leave it to Johnny to be calm and sarcastic in any give situation, and he still resorted to calling me “kid”.

 

            “I’m alright,” I muttered. But even though I was feeling kinda funny, this wasn’t exactly a true statement; I was much better than all right. I felt happier than I had been in a very long time.

 

            As Johnny sat down in one of the chairs, Tammy said, “Oh, you must be starving! Let me get you something!” Before I could say anything else, she rushed out of the room.

 

            “Well,” Johnny began. “I don’t know about you kid, but I’ll completely worn out. What with doin’ your trial thing and movin’ in all your stuff and…”

 

            “My stuff?” I asked.

 

            “Yeah, your crib and changing table and…”

 

            “When did that get here?” Looking out the window, I realized the sun was setting. “How long have I been out?”

 

            “Oh, just for the day. I guess about seven or eight hours,” Johnny responded. “Anyway, some guys from the program came over and we moved in all your stuff. We just finished. I’ll let you see it after you’ve had a little bit to eat.”

 

            At that moment, Tammy walked in carrying a plate with a sandwich on it. As she set it down on the table that was right in front of me, I could tell that it was peanut butter and jelly.

 

            “I know,” she said. “Peanut butter and jelly isn’t much, but it’s all I have right now. We didn’t know for sure that you’d be coming here, and I didn’t have a whole lot…but I’ll go to the store tomorrow and…”

 

            “But wait,” I said. “I thought you had to treat me like a baby.”

 

            “Well, we do,” she responded. “But they gave us a set of rules, and they’re not quite as strict as the ones imposed within the program itself. They have some people they’ll be sending over here to check on us for hours at a time, just to make sure we’re not cheating.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “You see, in the program, they’re trying to decode kids, so they have to follow very strict rules in order for the process to work. And besides, they’re just asses. Rhines can say all he wants how he just does this for scientific reasons, but you can bet the other creators and nannies get a joy out of humiliating and torturing the kids there. Why else would they apply for jobs there? Anyways, go ahead, eat up.”

 

            I sat up on the couch and picked up the sandwich. It looked so good; it had been three years since I had had anything but milk and that baby food slop, so a good ol’ PB and J was mouth-watering.

 

            Unfortunately, I had a hard time eating. It was really difficult to bite and chew; I had gotten so used to being spoon fed. I was kind of embarrassed when Tammy had to help me some, but I couldn’t deny it; the sandwich was so good, and I didn’t care that much if I needed a little help.

 

            As I ate, I asked, “So what exactly is gonna happen over the next month?”

 

            “Well,” Johnny began. “We still have to baby you, but like I said, it’s not gonna be as bad as it was in the program. They just want to make sure you don’t forget your position in life, or something like that. Basically, you have to sleep in a crib, suck a pacifier for a certain amount of time during the day, play with baby toys for a given amount of time, and carry a teddy bear and/or blanket with you at all times. You have to wear baby clothes and of course diapers; but since you’re still incontinent, you’d be kept in those anyway. And for the first few weeks you have to drink a bottle.”

 

            “Oh, that reminds me!” Tammy said. She then got up and left.

 

            Johnny continued. “But other than that, there aren’t many rules. You can talk normally, watch TV, read books or newspapers, go outside and play…just about anything. You’ll probably want to stay here though…if you go out in public, you still have to wear your baby clothes and be pushed around in a stroller. But we don’t have to do that.”

 

            Tammy then returned carrying a baby bottle, but it wasn’t filled with milk. Instead, it has orange juice in it.

 

            “Again, it’s not much, but it’s all we’ve got right now,” she said, setting the bottle down on the table.

 

            It looked so good that I instantly grabbed the bottle and put the nipple in my mouth. Even though I sucked nothing came out. I rolled onto my back and began to squeeze it and suck it; still only a few drops came out. I realized why; my hand had already gotten extremely tired.

 

            Tammy and Johnny laughed a little at first; I guess it did look kind of funny. But after about a minute I got frustrated, sat up and put the bottle back on the table, looking discouraged.

 

            “I’m sorry, Cody,” Tammy said, stifling her laughter. “It’s just that you just looked extremely cute. But unfortunately, a lot of your muscles are still weak.”

 

            Before I could stop myself, I found myself asking, “Well, uh, could you, uh…”

 

            Tammy just smiled and said, “Of course.”

 

            As she came over to the couch and sat down, I asked Johnny, “So what happens after the first month?”

 

            Tammy took the bottle and told me to put my head on her lap. As I did, she put the bottle in my mouth and I found it extremely easy to drink; it was just so much more natural since I had been doing it for three years. But the juice tasted so good; I found it a little difficult to pay attention to Johnny because of that, since he was talking while I drank.

 

            “Well,” he said. “As you’ve seen, your body isn’t exactly what it used to be. You see, normally when a kid gets out of the system like you have, he’s only been in there a few weeks, so his muscles are still pretty strong. In your case, it’s different. Don’t worry about your mind; you may feel a little funny right now, but we’re not going to be talking to you like you’re a baby. In no time you’ll feel just like your old self mentally.

 

            “After the first month, we’ll let you sleep in a bed, eat and drink normally, not force you to play with baby toys, and take you out of baby clothes. You’ll still have to wear diapers since you’ll still be incontinent, and you’ll be very attached to your pacifier and bear or blanket, still.

 

            “However, physically, it’s going to be pretty hard. Expect to get very frustrated. Even though we’ll be treating you as normally as possible during the first month, you still will be pretty limited physically. For the first month we can’t really do much about that; you can only crawl and a lot of simple things will be hard to do.

 

            “After the first month, though, that’s the first thing we’ll have to work on. The program will be sending a few physical therapists over here. Not only will you learn how to walk again, but a lot of your other physical functions will have to be worked on. Once your collar is off, though, it won’t be all that bad. It will take a few months, but eventually your body will be back to normal. We’ll also limit your sleeping hours and get them back to about eight a day, and completely drive your natural instinct to cry out of you. In addition, we’ll potty-train you and get you off of your pacifier…yeah, like I said, your body’s gotten so used to it that you won’t be able to sleep without one at first, and during the day you’ll find it’ll calm you down. So we’ll work to change that. However, it’ll be up to you when you stop carrying around your bear or blanket; but you’ll find that eventually you’ll get tired of it, that’s the way it worked for me, anyway.

 

            “Again, be prepared to get frustrated and discouraged; it’s not going to be easy to get back to normal. However, that’s just something you’ll have to deal with. But we’ll be there helping you the whole way.

 

            “And that brings me to the next thing, Cody. Both Tammy and I are very attached to you, but remember, we will more or less be your parents until you are ready to get out on your own. That means we’ll be there for you and help you along the way, but it also means that you have to listen to us and obey us. We will be in charge and will discipline you if necessary. If you start to go back to the way you were before you came to the program, after some initial warnings and discipline, they will have no choice to put you back in the program. Not only is this an official, legal, thing, both Tammy and I agree with it; although you’re out of the program, we do not want to be responsible for a kid who acts just like you used to.”

 

            As he finished saying this, I was already done with the bottle; like the sandwich, it had been extremely good. I began to ponder what Johnny told me, and even though I wasn’t crazy about everything, it sounded like a really good deal. All of this still seemed too good to be true.

 

            “So then what?” I asked as I sat up.

 

            “Well,” Tammy said. “Then it’ll be up to you. You can either get a job, since you’re of legal age to work. Or you can further your education; don’t worry, you won’t have to go back to public school. Either Johnny or myself will home school you. We’ll be doing some of that anyway; the program says you need to go back over a lot of things you learned in grade school and middle school. But after that, we only have to do enough to either get you ready for a job or get your diploma. But all of that will be worked out later. You should think about it a little bit, but don’t worry about it too much for now.”

 

            Everyone was quiet for a little bit. It was still a whole lot to take in, and my head was still bursting with questions.

 

            “But how are you guys paying for all of this?” I asked. “What are you doing now? How did you get me out of the program? In fact…how do you two even know each other, much less live with each other and KISS each other?”

 

            “Whoa, kid, slow down,” Johnny said. “That’s a lot you’re asking. And it’s probably too much for you to take in right now. We’ll tell you all about everything over the next month…”

 

            “NO!” I said. “Tell me right now!”

 

            “No, kid, I’ll tell you when I think you’re ready.”

 

            “JOHNNY!” I said. “Remember what happened last time you said that?!”

 

            Johnny’s face fell a little bit. Then after a few seconds, he said, “You’re right, kid. We do owe you a big explanation, especially since we haven’t been 100% truthful to you so far. But it’s getting pretty dark, and I know that you’re going to be getting pretty tired soon. However, as long as you can stay awake, we’ll tell you everything.”

 

            He took a deep breath and said, “Hmm…where should we start?”

 

            “How about telling Cody how we met?” Tammy asked.

 

            “Ok, then,” Johnny said. “Well, it has actually twenty years or so since Tammy and I met. It doesn’t matter exactly how it happened, you just need to know that we met in grade school and became good friends.”

 

            “TWENTY YEARS?” I asked.

 

            “Yeah, twenty years,” Johnny said. “But don’t interrupt me, kid. It’ll be easier if you just listen.”

 

            Trying to keep my mouth shut, I listened as Johnny continued.

 

            “Like I told you a while ago, kid, I was a pretty horrible kid. I did badly in school, got drunk, and did drugs. And the main bad thing I did was fight; like I told you, kid, I used to get in fights all of the time. My parents didn’t like what I was doing at all, but they never stopped me…too spineless, I guess. Or maybe they just didn’t care enough; I don’t think they ever truly loved me. But I didn’t care; I had my friends, and they were all just like me. Besides, I had a girlfriend that I loved; Tammy.”

 

            “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense at all,” I said. “Tammy was Ricky’s boyfriend.”

 

            Tammy laughed upon hearing this. “What, that kid? The only time I’ve ever seen Ricky is since he’s been acting like a baby.”

 

            I thought they must have been playing a joke on me or something. But then Johnny started to explain.

 

            “What did I say about interrupting me? Anyway, no, kid, you’ve got it all wrong…Tammy didn’t even know Ricky. Well, except as a baby. While I was in the program, she only knew him as another kid that she had to take care of. It wasn’t until I got out that I explained everything to her.

 

            “But you when I told you they must have been girlfriend and boyfriend, you agreed!” I said, forgetting I wasn’t supposed to interrupt.

 

            “Well, I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t ever really say you were right, so technically I didn’t lie to you, I just let you assume it. Anyway, I’ll get to that later.”

 

            “You see,” Tammy said. “When I told you about my boyfriend, Cody, I was talking about Johnny, I just didn’t tell you it was him. I was aware that you knew him and what he had told you. Johnny and I were still able to keep contact with each other in the program.”

 

            “But that’s getting ahead a bit,” said Johnny. “Anyway, so me and Tammy were both bad kids and were going out, that’s the gist of it. But when my parents decided to put me in the program, everything changed.

 

            “I already told you my side of the story, and Tammy’s told me she told you how she worked to get involved in the program. She was talking about me when she told you about her boyfriend, and I was talking about her when I talked about my girlfriend. I would have told her and my friends about it when I was shipped off to the program, but I never got the chance…my parents told me that if I told them where I was going, they’d figure out a way to get my friends in jail.”

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “And while I was getting information out of John’s parents, he was suffering through the program.”

 

            “I had of course lost all hope of her ever contacting me,” Johnny said. “I underestimated her…uh…persuasive skills.”

 

            “Anyway,” Tammy continued. “It was about seven years before I saw John again. I loved him so much that I wouldn’t give up my quest to find out where he had gone. Finally, like I told you, his parents contacted me and I was forced to see him in a huge stroller surrounded by his friends and parents who all laughed at him.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “When I told you that Ricky had to go through the punishment, you assumed that Tammy had been talking about him when she told you about the encounter. But remember, kid, I told you I had to go through it too, and in reality, she was talking about me. As far as my parents, they showed their true colors; I don’t think they really cared how embarrassed I was, just that I wasn’t doing ‘bad’ stuff anymore. Besides, they loved to torture Tammy. And my friends? Like Tammy said, I guess it had just been too long… seven years is a long time.

 

            “It almost killed me when it happened. I was so relieved to see that Tammy was still on my side, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was strapped in a stroller and my pacifier kept me from talking. Besides, she was quickly escorted out soon.”

 

            “Like I said,” Tammy began. “This gave me a completely new desire to get John out. So in a matter of months I became qualified to be a nanny, passed the test, and entered the program.”

 

            “As for me,” Johnny said. “Seeing Tammy also gave me a new energy as well. I told you that I managed to fight the system and trick the nannies on my own because I was inspired by Ricky and knew how to fight the system by talking to people. But what I didn’t tell you was that if I hadn’t seen how much Tammy still cared for me, I probably wouldn’t have made it. Funny, when you think about it; their punishment for me that was intended to humiliate me backfired because when I saw Tammy I had an even stronger desire to fight the system.

 

            “I still wasn’t sure if she would be able to do anything, though. So I fought the system on my own for a while and tried to act like she would never come, because if she didn’t make it, I still wanted to be able to trick the nannies and get out on my own. Who knows, maybe I still would have succeeded. But I still was extremely inspired by Tammy.

 

            “You can’t imagine my pure joy when I first saw her in the program. I knew that it was a possibility that she would break though, but I had convinced myself that she would fail. I had already managed to fool the nannies into thinking I had been decoded, so I was acting like a baby.”

 

            “Don’t you remember?” Tammy asked me. “I told you when I saw my boyfriend again, he had already been decoded and that I was heartbroken. Well, technically that was true; when I first saw John, he acted like a complete baby, and I thought he was one.”

 

            “That was probably the hardest, most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to do,” Johnny said. “When I first saw Tammy, I wanted nothing more than to run (or crawl) over to her and tell her everything that had happened, or at least show her that I was happy to see her.”

 

            “So why didn’t you?” I asked.

 

            “Think about it, kid,” Johnny said. “Remember, the nannies thought I had been decoded, so I would have completely blown my cover and all the work I had done for months to fool them would have been for nothing. Besides, even if I hadn’t been able to fool them so long, they would have immediately fired Tammy if they realized that we knew each other. Anyway, it was extremely difficult for me sitting there and acting like a baby while I could tell she was heartbroken. And it was hell for a few weeks since I didn’t see her much at all, and I was afraid that she would give up and leave the program.”

 

            “And I almost did,” Tammy said. “Good thing I didn’t. And good thing I didn’t faint when I finally realized John hadn’t been decoded, because I almost did. When I was putting him in his crib one night, he winked at me. When I looked at him funny, he did it again. Over the next few days, I got a chance to sneak him into a room without cameras and we were able to speak to each other, even if it was only for a few minutes.”

 

            “It was very difficult to communicate at first,” Johnny said. “But we were persistent, and after we got through all of our heartfelt greetings and all that, we began to talk about how to get me out of here without Tammy getting fired and me blowing my cover.

 

            “The two of us made a great team. I had gathered tons of information from the nannies’ casual conversations, and Tammy poked around and asked the other nannies and the creators all kinds of questions. Finally, we began to strategize, and I knew how to start off; the cameras.”

 

            “You see, Cody,” Tammy said. “It was extremely frustrating not being able to talk with John casually, plus I didn’t get many chances to talk to him at all. So I started to volunteer for more jobs involving the cameras. I became extremely trustworthy, and eventually they put me in charge of them quite often. I even managed to convince them to turn them off more often; the need for them was small since bad situations rarely happened and it cost money to run them.

 

            “Eventually they put me in charge of the camera schedule, and even though Johnny had a pretty firm grasp on them anyways, I helped him out further. Soon we were able to have casual talks in the evenings in the crib rooms since the cameras were off. If another nanny walked in, he would just pretend to be asleep and I’d just act like I was reading or something.

            

            “It was great; being in charge of the schedule made things so much easier. By the way, that’s how I was able to go get you after you went through punishment level 4. Remember how I told you that I let the kids out into the hall? Well, it never would have worked had I not turned off the cameras when I let them free.

 

            “Anyway, even with this new power, we still needed to figure out a way to get John out of here. We couldn’t just turn off the cameras and make a break for it; he still had his collar on. It seemed best just to stick with his original plan; we’d wait until it was time for him to move on, and as soon as they took his collar off, he’d make a break for it. It was pretty easy to make sure he didn’t get decoded until then; I talked to him quite often, which was plenty of human interaction.”

 

            “My escape plan would be even better now,” Johnny said. “Now I had Tammy on my side. So when it came time for them to remove my collar, she would turn off the cameras. That way, the only people who knew I was escaping were the ones who took off my collar. In addition, Tammy would race in and help me subdue everyone who was there. Together, we would both have a clear runway to my freedom.”

 

            “Turns out the plan worked flawlessly,” Tammy said. “Smoother than I could have imagined. But, something had complicated the situation.”

 

            “What?” I asked.

 

            “You,” Johnny said.

 

            “That’s right,” Tammy said. “We knew we couldn’t just leave you there.”

 

            “You see,” Johnny said. “Tammy and I were pretty confident about our plan. We were a perfect team, and there was never any hint that anyone knew what was going on…”

 

            “Except for Rhines,” I interrupted.

 

            To my surprise, Johnny then let out a laugh. “Ha ha…I had forgotten about old Rhines. Yeah, he knew about our plans. But it wasn’t a big deal.”

 

            “What?” I asked. “Why not?”

 

            “Because he told me that he didn’t care if I escaped.”

 

            “You KNEW about Rhines?”

 

            “Of course I did,” Johnny said. “You see, Cody, in my seven years of fighting the system, the creators were completely baffled and worried that I would never give in. Remember how you had a ‘talk’ with McPherson after you got in trouble? Well, I had chats with all of the creators at one point or another. That’s why I made fun of them in the hearing today; Tammy gave me a little inside info on them and since I’m ever the opportunist, I made the most of the situation.

 

            “Anyway, after seven years of frustration, I was finally sent to the man in charge, Vince Rhines. I was terrified when I first saw him…yeah, he still wore the mask. But right from the get-go, I knew he was different than all the other creators.

 

            “Whereas the other creators just yelled at me in the same way McPherson did to you, Rhines just talked to me normally, in a similar calm tone that he did at the hearing today. By the way, I heard everything he said from the moment you were drug in there; it’s just nobody realized I was listening. Anyway, in my first talk with Rhines, he told me all about the system, how he knew everything that had happened to me, and how he was so proud of me. He explained to me that I was different than all of the other kids, who he thought were ‘idiots’. He even made fun of the nannies and other creators a little bit. He then told me he knew I was planning to escape and how I was going to do it.

 

            “Don’t ask me how he knew…I still will never figure that out. Rhines is a freaky person…I know I was terrified when he knew about my escape plan. Rhines may be cruel, soulless, and just a plain jackass, but he is definitely smart. He’s almost like the god of the program, really…he was one of the original creators of the whole idea of Reconstruction. And his center was the first one built. When that first kid I was with became decoded, it was a major breakthrough…Reconstruction centers starting popping up all over the country.

 

            “I knew Rhines was extremely proud of his success, but he was mystified at how I had managed to fight. He was so proud of me…it was weird, at that moment I actually kind of liked the guy. Anyway, he told me that he knew that I was trying to escape, but that he would allow it to happen. He was just curious to see if I could pull it off…he said he wouldn’t tell anyone about it, but that if I got caught, he would force me back into the program.

 

            “At first I doubted his word, but I figured I had nothing to lose anyway. Of course he hadn’t counted on Tammy, and I was a little worried that since she was now involved, Rhines might tell everyone our plans. When I told Tammy, she almost got cold feet and said she couldn’t go through with it.”

 

            “But in the end,” Tammy said. “I decided that I would rather be caught and forced to be a baby than live with myself knowing that John would be trapped there. So I decided to keep going.”

 

            “But Rhines was true to his word,” Johnny said. “The time passed, and he still did not interfere. I was extremely nervous when the actual day came, but like I said, the escape plan worked perfectly.

 

            “I guess it’s like Rhines said; he didn’t care if I got loose as long as I could pull it off, and he was so proud of me that me being able to break free that it made no difference that I would never be decoded. Besides, he knew that I was in contact with you, and he thought I was a coward who chose to save his own skin. On top of that, even with Tammy’s help, he never dreamed that I’d be able to make it on my own. You can bet he was shocked as hell when he saw me in there today…he had only known that Tammy was trying to get you free, and he knew that she would never succeed without you having two parents and having your confession of your state of babyhood.

 

            “But like I was saying before, even though Tammy and I were finally free, our job still wasn’t done; there was still the fact that you were here.”

 

            Johnny then took a deep breath and said, “Well, kid, I think that’ll be it for tonight. We’ll tell you the rest later.”

 

            Even though I was really tired, I just had to hear the rest at that moment. “No, Johnny, please, tell me the rest.”

 

            Johnny looked at Tammy, and when she nodded, he sighed and said, “Ok, then. Now, remember, at the beginning, you weren’t part of the plan at all. I had already met Tammy and had been fooling the nannies when you arrived. You only got there a few weeks before it was time to escape, and I had no idea you were coming. By the way, that’s why I always managed to stay so calm around you; I had almost full confidence that I would be escaping, so I didn’t see any need to worry about anything.

 

            “Now you have to realize, Cody, Tammy and I had been waiting for almost three years for my escape, basically doing nothing new on any given day. However, the whole program really bothered Tammy; she was disgusted at seeing all of these kids being treated like babies. I, of course, was completely used to it; I had seen and experienced it for seven years, so I didn’t care about anyone escaping other than me. Any time a new kid came in, I didn’t really have to talk to him to keep from being decoded.

 

            “You see, Rhines was lying to you today. He said that I used other kids to keep from becoming decoded during those seven years and that I only continued to talk to kids like you to make sure I didn’t become decoded. But remember, he knew as well as I did that I was talking to Tammy constantly, so of course he knew that I didn’t need to talk to you kids to keep my head. So he was obviously lying to you just to torment you. Besides, he didn’t really expect me to come back for you….he thought I was selfish, but he knew I wasn’t selfish enough to just use you kids to fight the decoding…he was just screwing with you.

 

            “Anyway, during the three years that I was faking my baby state, I began to just talk to the new kids for fun. Tammy was always really concerned for them, so she managed to convince me to try to help them. I tried many times with varied results; some just told me to get lost as soon as they met me and became decoded soon. Some tried to squeeze as much information out of me as possible, but they also became decoded. Over time, I began to think about the kids who came to the program and their reactions, and I came to a conclusion; they deserved what they had gotten.”

 

            “What?” I asked.

 

            “It’s just like I told you that day, kid,” he said. “As much as some of the creators and nannies are messed up, I agree with the system. I don’t see how it’s possible to argue with Rhines; he’s a genius. His program works; it fixes the problem of bad teens who grow up to be criminals. Tammy, of course, disagrees with me. But after seeing the way all of the kids who came in treated me, I decided to just leave them in the program and let them be decoded. I had managed to see what an evil little punk I used to be…but I knew that this program was the only way these other kids would, and that I would be doing society an injustice by freeing them.”

 

            It was hard to hear this from Johnny, but I forced myself to keep listening.

 

            “So when you first arrived, I had no intentions of freeing you, either. But it’s like I told you, kid, you were different than most of them. You definitely caught my interest by crying on your first day, and then going through those first two punishment levels so fast.

 

            “But I was almost out of the place myself, so I didn’t give it much thought. I did tell Tammy about you, but it didn’t seem like it would matter. When you jumped on me that day, I just figured you were just like the rest of them, so I decided to get you in trouble. But like I said, I never dreamed they would go as far as they did. Tammy tried to help you, and she got some information on your punishments after I told her you jumped on me.”

 

            “So, Cody,” Tammy said. “I was actually working to get you free even though Johnny didn’t agree with me. I probably shouldn’t have, but I tried to give you hope that you would get free. I knew that if one kid was going to escape this, it would be you. Your strength so far had made you the most likely candidate. Johnny told me I shouldn’t, but I did anyway.”

 

            “But,” Johnny said, “When you told me that you have gone through levels 3, 4, and 5, I was genuinely shocked. I really did start to think that you were different, and that maybe I should give you a chance. But then you told me all about how you didn’t deserve to be here. And I got extremely pissed off. I wasn’t angry with you because of what you were saying; I had heard it a hundred times from all of the new kids. But I was extremely hurt and disappointed; I realized that you weren’t different at all. At that moment all of my disappointment turned to anger, and I exploded at you, and I shouldn’t have.

 

            “But despite that, I still had hope in you. I knew that I now only had a few days left here, and I wanted to give you one more chance.”

 

            “You see, Cody,” Tammy interjected. “Do you remember that day I told you I had a major breakthrough for your escape? Well, that breakthrough was that I was named as the head person of camera security. So I was completely in charge of when they were turned on and off. So, I figured that I’d be able to mix you into John’s escape plan. Of course, I hadn’t gotten the chance to hear about the fight you two had gotten into, so I didn’t know that at that moment he would have completely disagreed. And when the nanny caught me when I had taken you into the tiny room, I didn’t really get punished. I’ve always been good at getting out of tight spots, and I managed to convince the nannies that I was still completely trustworthy, even if they didn’t let me talk to you anymore.

 

            “So, with my new camera power, John and I agreed to give you one more chance. He arranged to talk with you the next day, and I was the only one watching the tape. I even had to turn the sound on, something that the nannies stopped doing years and years ago. I still wanted to include you in our escape plan, but John didn’t. However, we were both extremely surprised when you told John that you deserved to be here.”

 

            “That’s right,” Johnny said. “You probably don’t remember kid, but a grin flashed over my face when you first told me you thought you deserved your treatment. Because I then knew that you were indeed worthy of escaping the program.”

 

            “I knew the tape would be important,” Tammy said. “So I kept it. But unfortunately, we were still unable to include you in our escape plan.”

 

            “Why?” I asked.

 

            “Rhines,” Johnny said. “I knew he’d let me escape, but no way was he going to lose you. He was interested in seeing if he could still decode you even though I had given you so much information. You had managed to fight a lot so far, so he wanted to see how much you could take.

 

            “However, the night before my escape, I thought of another plan. Both Tammy and I wanted to get you out of the program, and now we had a tape of your confession. We knew that the two of us could be your parents once I got back to an adult state. So, after my escape was successful, we knew we still had to get you out. And we knew we could do it right underneath Rhines’ nose, and he would never see it coming.

 

            “So that’s why I never told you, anything, kid. I didn’t want to get your hopes up on escaping. I didn’t tell you that I knew Tammy, I didn’t tell you about a lot of the stuff I knew. I knew Rhines would never let you go. And to be honest, I didn’t know for sure if our plan today would work.”

 

            “You see,” Tammy said. “We knew it would be a while before we could try to get you out. We had the tape and I was fully qualified to be your mother, but Johnny was in no state to be your father.”

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “Even though I’m further along than you are now…I had been partially reconstructed, remember…I still wasn’t an adult. I still sucked my thumb, for crying out loud! So Tammy had to work to get me back to 100% normal. Then I had to go out and get a job. This was really hard; I had spent ten years as a baby, and on top of that, I didn’t have much education.

 

            “I was also extremely worried about money. Even after I got a job, which was only some grunt work at a fast food restaurant, Tammy and I both weren’t making enough to support more than just the two of us, so we knew we could never legally get you out of the program. It looked like you’d be trapped in there after all.

 

            “But then luck struck us; as an ironic twist of fate, both of my parents died in a car crash. They had written their will a long time ago and they left everything to me…I was an only child and we didn’t have much other family. They did this before I even entered the program. They procrastinated and never got around to changing it after they realized that I would become a baby. But, since they never did, I was still entitled to the large amount of wealth they had accumulated. With this new power, Tammy and I knew we could finally break you out. And today, finally, we were able to do so.”

 

            I just stared at Johnny as he finished. Although it had been so much information to take in, I felt deeply satisfied in knowing the whole story. It had been probably the biggest day of my life, and I was still overwhelmed by everything. It seemed like my whole life was a dream.

 

            Exhausted, I let out a huge yawn.

 

            “Alright, kid, that’s it,” Johnny said. “Time for you to go to bed.”

 

            “Here, let me get you dressed,” Tammy said. “Looks like you need a change anyway!”

 

            I blushed at this remark, but since it was true, I couldn’t deny it. Tammy picked me up and took me into a bedroom, which turned out to be…a nursery.

 

            It was pretty weird…it looked a lot like a real baby’s nursery, complete with changing table, crib, and a rocking chair. The walls were even “baby” blue and had nursery patterns on them.

 

            “Yeah,” Johnny said. “That’s part of the rules…you have to spend the next month in an actual nursery. Sorry.”

 

            But as Tammy laid me down on the changing table and began to change my diaper, I found that I didn’t really mind the nursery. Maybe it was just because I had been so used to being treated like a baby, or maybe I had actually turned into what my dad would have called a wussy (which for some reason didn’t bother me anymore), but I realized that I actually liked being in a nursery. It seemed so comfortable and cozy, and unlike the program’s nurseries, I actually felt happy here.

 

            After I was changed into a new diaper, Tammy put a footed sleep on me. She then carried me over to the crib and tucked me in. Then to my great surprise and delight, she gave me something, or rather, someone, that I recognized…none other than Timmy.

 

            Johnny and Tammy just stood over me for a minute. Then, Tammy said, “Oh, I almost forgot, your pacifier. But don’t worry; we don’t have to tie it on you, you just have to suck it. Besides, you probably won’t be able to sleep without it, anyway, Cody.”

 

            As she went to get a pacifier, Johnny said, “You know, I guess now that you’re out, we should stop calling you Cody and refer to you by your real name, Luke.”

 

            But as Tammy walked over, to my real surprise, I truthfully said, “No, I think I like Cody better.”

 

            Johnny and Tammy just smiled as she put the pacifier in my mouth. I closed my eyes and smiled as I drifted off to sleep and they turned out the light and closed the door.

 

Epilogue

 

            As I sit here writing this, seven years have passed since I was freed from The Reconstruction Center for Troubled Youths, which makes me about 24 years old if you’re keeping count. Quite a bit has happened since I got out.

 

            A lot of it was just like Johnny had described. For a whole month I was treated like a baby as far as the aspects Johnny mentioned; I wore diapers (Tammy usually changed me, although Johnny was often willing to as well) and baby clothes. I could only drink from baby bottles for a few weeks, although I was able to drink anything, not just milk; again, I had to be bottle-fed. Thankfully I could eat a variety of foods, and Tammy was a great cook. Unfortunately, I was unable to use utensils very well, and since I wasn’t allowed to learn how to use them for the first month, Tammy or Johnny has to feed me anything that I couldn’t eat with my fingers (although thankfully I didn’t have to wear a bib and I never made a mess). I had to spend a little bit of time playing with baby toys, and I still had to suck a pacifier and carry around Timmy, but this actually comforted me more than it annoyed me. And of course I still had to sleep in a crib.

 

            There were definitely frustrations, though. Almost every day someone from the program studied me for hours and scribbled down notes (it was a different person each day). Tammy and Johnny both worked part time; Tammy still worked at her government job (she said she couldn’t tell me any details about it) and Johnny actually learned to be a pretty good car mechanic since one of Tammy’s friends knew how and Johnny always loved messing around with cars. They had to work in order to fulfill the requirements to take care of me, and it helped them to feel active and earn some money in addition to the Johnny’s inheritance. Because of this, even though one of them was usually around to watch over me, sometimes I would have to be taken care of by someone from the program, which kinda sucked.

 

            Also, I could still only crawl, and I basically had to stay in-doors all of the time. I also had trouble eating and doing simple activities due to my lack of strength and coordination.

 

            But life was good; I loved living with Tammy and Johnny, and it seemed like they loved having me around. Their house was great, although they had to carry me up and down the stairs. They would often spend time with me, and we often talked for hours and hours exchanging stories or just sharing opinions. Johnny often read the newspaper or magazines and we would talk about topics in them. Sometimes we would watch TV, although there were certain things I wasn’t allowed to watch (I also wasn’t allowed to cuss…the collar still shocked me). I started getting really into watching sports since Johnny was such a fan. And sometimes Johnny or Tammy would take me outside to play.

 

            Eventually, the first month passed, and my collar was taken off. The people from the program stopped coming over, and Tammy decided to quit her job in order to help me get better.

 

            It was a long and grueling process, but eventually I returned back to my normal self. I slowly learned to walk and be potty trained, and I was allowed to sleep in a bed and wasn’t required to play with baby toys. I also had to do a slew of exercises under the direction of a physical therapist to regain my strength, balance and coordination of all of my muscles.

 

            I also got used to sleeping a lot less and a lot of my natural baby instincts like crying were driven out of me…it was surprising how difficult this was. I had gotten so used to these things that only through intense discipline and tests was I able to shake off the habits. I also eventually fought off my need to suck a pacifier, although I still carried Timmy around a lot…Johnny and Tammy didn’t seem to mind.

 

            Despite the extreme difficulty of this process, I continued to enjoy life in ways that I never had before. I had a lot of activities to do, and I got really interested in getting on the internet and listening to music. Also, for the first time in my life, I really began to enjoy reading.

 

            I also still had long talks with Johnny and Tammy. My relationship with them was kind of weird. For the first month, they treated me just like I was their own son. This was nice because I truly felt loved, but it was also irritating sometimes, since I was under their control. They had to discipline me sometimes, and since I had always fought authority in the past, I had to fight the urge to rebel. But because I liked them so much, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

 

            However, after the first month, our relationship changed a little. They still acted a lot like my parents, but also kind of like my friends. They were still in charge of me and helped me return to my normal state, but sometimes they would talk to me just like they would talk to any of their other friends that were their own age.

 

            Sometimes they would invite some of their friends (who they usually met through work) over. This was after I had driven most of my baby traits out of me, and none of them ever said anything about my physical difficulties…Tammy and Johnny had told them I was recovering from a physical injury. I was a little embarrassed sometimes because I still carried Timmy around, but most of them just thought it was cute, even if it was a little on the weird side.

 

            When I finally returned back to my normal state physically, it was the most satisfying feeling in my life. Not only did it feel excellent to have a normal body again, but I felt as though I had truly received a proper childhood; Tammy and Johnny truly had cared for me, and I felt I had gotten something that my real childhood had lacked.

 

            In addition, because of this, to my great surprise I was different. It was like I was a completely different person than who I was before I ever entered the Baby Start Over Program. I had trouble believing that I had ever been the delinquent teenager that I once was. True, I did start cussing again and I regained my sexual functions, but I was completely disgusted with who I used to be. This may seem really remarkable, but when you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you kinda grow to believe a lot.

 

            However, now that I had basically returned to normal, it was time for me to either get out and get a job or get back into schooling. Turns out I actually did both; since Tammy wasn’t working anymore, she stayed home, and I decided that I wanted her to home school me. At the same time, I got a job at a local grocery store, and I did my studies around my work schedule. It was extremely difficult for me to do well in school as well as keep my job, but I was determined to prove that I could do it. It took a few years, but eventually I received enough education that it was equivalent to a high school diploma, and my job went extremely well.

 

            Then, one day, things got really interesting. Johnny came home one day, and he told me he had a crazy idea.

 

            “Cody,” he told me. “I’ve been talking to some different people I’ve met through my friends, and we’ve come up with a proposal. But, it is really going to disrupt the normal flow of our lives, so I want to see what you think before I make a decision.

 

            “Basically, I’ve been thinking about you, me, and Tammy, and how stupid we used to be way back when. We used to live lives that were horrible, and one way or another the three of us have changed our lives. Well, an offer has come up; we have the opportunity to travel around the country going to high schools and speaking to them! They want us to talk to kids and tell them how we used to be and how we realized what big mistakes we made.

 

            “Of course, we won’t tell anyone about The Baby Start Over Program or any of those experiences. But we can still tell them all of the things we’ve learned. What do you think?”

 

            This was a really crazy idea, and I needed a few days to think about it. Could I really do it? Tour the country? Tell kids about how they should clean up their lives? Although it truly would be a major change of pace, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it would be a great idea. This was my chance to go back and try to keep kids from becoming what I would have become. It was my chance to make a difference.

 

            Once I had made up my mind, the three of us decided to go through with it. We actually sold the house, and between that, the inheritance money, and the money from our three jobs combined, we were able to buy something equal to a tour bus and a driver.

 

            We usually ate out and slept on the bus. It was pretty weird at first, and I had to get used to being mobile all of the time. It was also difficult speaking in front of all of the kids, and at first it seemed like it wouldn’t make any difference.

 

            But as we did it more and more, life became amazing. I really think we made a difference in at least a few of the kids’ lives, and it was exciting to visit places all across the United States. Besides, Tammy, Johnny and I had each other, so we were very happy.

 

            We had a lot of free time on the road, so one day Johnny and I had an idea; we’d write a fictional book that would take ideas from our experiences in the Baby-Start Over Program. We had enough money to get it published after we finally finished writing it, and although it wasn’t a bestseller, we were happy with the success that we got from it. We’re planning on writing more in the future at some point.

 

            So that’s what life has basically been like for me. I have to admit, it’s been a really crazy ten years, and my whole life has been like one crazy roller-coaster. It’s hard to believe, and as I look back now it’s like one huge dream sequence. Sometimes it’s hard to remember my life as a messed up teenager, and even harder to remember life as a baby. But I still remember very clearly how scary it was in that place, and how at one time I feared I would never get out. I also remember what Johnny told me after I went through punishment level 5. He told me that he would do something to make up for the fact that he was responsible for putting me through it, and I realized that he did that by freeing me from the program…funny how things work out sometimes.

 

            I still think about the whole idea of the program a lot. I wonder if the one I attended is still operating, and if teens are getting their diapers changed as I write this. I wonder how many of the programs there are, and if they’re still achieving the desired results.

 

            Johnny and I often discuss the matter in deep detail for hours on the bus. We strongly disagree about the program; I still think it’s fucked up and that there are better ways to handle the problem of the teens of today, but he thinks the program is a good idea and that the results and successes of the programs speak for themselves. We often stay up for hours late into the night discussing the matter, and Tammy, who doesn’t involve herself in the arguments, often has to tell us to shut up and go to sleep.

 

            But there is one thing that Johnny and I still agree on; whether or not these programs should exist, we hope that through our efforts one day we will live in a world where there is no longer a need for such programs.

 

FINALLY…….THE END

 

 

thanks for trying this isnt it

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Dear DaddyEric91,

are you able to give us a little summary of the Do-Over-story?

The Start-Over is a very old story, but a Do-Over? Never read 

or heard.............. but it sounds interesting.

                                      In awaiting of your answer

                     Diddldum and perhaps other community members

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It was a story about a girl in college comes home for the summer to help her mom take care of her sister. The sister has been constantly in and out of jail and has been told she must partake in a program called the do over program and she must be reraised from a baby to an adult. The sister coming home has no idea about that and walks into her house to find her sister wearing diapers and sitting in the middle of a playpen. The mother explains the program to her and she figures that its going to be a long summer. That was how the first chapter ends.

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Dear daddyeric91,

thank you very much for the short but precise description of the familiar situation.

I found 'do over' in Google and Wattpad, but never in combination with 'program'.

Do you remember when this unfinished (but obviously impressing) story appeared

on DD's stage (month, year)? Thanks for your answer!

                                                                Sincerely yours

                                                                    Diddldum

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3 hours ago, diddldum said:

Dear daddyeric91,

thank you very much for the short but precise description of the familiar situation.

I found 'do over' in Google and Wattpad, but never in combination with 'program'.

Do you remember when this unfinished (but obviously impressing) story appeared

on DD's stage (month, year)? Thanks for your answer!

                                                                Sincerely yours

                                                                    Diddldum

I think august of 2015. The writers name was like Charleston or something.

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Dear daddyeric91,

you have an excellent memory:

             WOW - I FOUND IT!

 

The Do Over Program  - by Charlatan


01


It was odd how my hometown could seem so new to me. Familiar, sure, but observing from the back of cab seemed to give me a different perspective. I noticed a few empty buildings where local business once were. Places I had never been to, would probably have never entered, but it was still sad to see empty windows and signs advertising the buildings where they had once been.

“The last year has been rough around here, huh,” I said. It was the first thing I had said since giving him my destination, and it seemed to startle him a bit. He had scraggly hair and a hiker's hat, and I thought he might have been my school bus driver at one point.

“Not quite so much as a change in management around here,” he told me in a high, familiar southern drawl, watching me in the rear view mirror.  The voice confirmed it, he had definitely been an old bus driver.  “The state and city hill are working together close on implementing new policies and such, shaking things up all over the place.” Whatever anyone else thought, that was welcome news in my mind. I had gone to college out of state partly because I felt things were too stagnant around here. After the last fight with my mother, I almost believed I would never come back.

Thinking about my mother made look over my outfit for the umpteenth time today. A college polo and a pair of slacks, I was sure it would leave a good impression, but I still worried. She probably wouldn't like my hair, short and with a long swept fringe, but I was only out to keep her content about my appearance. I was an adult, and I wasn't getting a makeover just to please her. After the memory of the pink and blue monstrosity of a style I had for a short time in high school, this should hardly upset her.

As the cabbie pulled off the main road and we neared my old neighborhood, I thought back to the phone call that had changed my entire plans for the summer. Seeing my mother on the caller ID had shocked me. When she came to visit over the winter holiday and I had let her know about my new choice of major, it was an understatement saying she didn't take it well. Mom was not one to raise her voice, but I would have rather been yelled at than to see her cry. I had waited a year to tell her, but I hadn't prepared myself for that. She had always been on the spiritual side, and I had known she didn't think well of what she saw as high and mighty intellectualized philosophy. She tried to argue with the jobs market point of view, but I was prepared to put in the work to be able to work. In the end she never even said goodbye when she left, instead waiting in the car while my sister and I hugged and did a last bit of gossiping.

Her sister was the reason she had called. Alex had always been a troublemaker, but it wasn't until high school she became a delinquent. And now it seemed she had picked the end of her senior year to jump straight to being a criminal.

“Alcohol.....car wreck....thank god no one was hurt,” my mom had sobbed over the phone. “The lawyer says they're looking to make an example of her. She could end up in jail for up to a year.”

She explained the court was going to offer Alex an alternative, though. Some kind of new program, one that involved participation from her family. Mom hadn't been able to explain it well at the time, but I had promised to come stay at home for the summer, and to help out however I could.\

Classes finished in May, but between work and the situation with the apartment I'd be moving into for my final semester, it wasn't until June that I was able to return home. Surprisingly, my mother didn't raise much of a fuss about that.

“Becca, you deal with yourself and your issues first,” she explained, much more chipper than I had ever expected. If it hadn't been for her state during that first call I would have corrected her about my name, reminding her once again that I wanted to go by Rebecca, that Becca was too much of a little girl's name.

“This is your stop, Becca,” the cabbie said, shaking me from my thoughts. The cab hadn't stopped right outside of my house, but instead it was.....

“The bus stop,” I said. The same one he picked me up from and dropped me off at for two years. The cabbie was already out of the car and pulling my two suitcases and backpack from the trunk.

“It was good to see you again, lass. Tell your sister old driver Ralph says hi.” I gave him a large tip on top of the fare, and Ralph gave me a tip of his hat before getting back in the cab and driving away. Standing at my old bus stop with a heavy backpack was quite nostalgic. I half expected my mother to come strolling down the sidewalk and ask me how my day had been, embarrassing me in front of the other kids by walking me home. But I was alone, and after a moment began the short walk to the house I had spent the first eighteen years of my life in.

 

My home was only a minute or two from the stop, but I was already sweating thanks to carrying two heavy suitcases. It made me think I should join the other girls at the gym more often. At first I dropped my bags at the door so I could knock, but remember it was my own house and was always unlocked if someone was alone. Besides, I had arrived hours early just to surprise everyone, I might as well go all out about it. With a groan I lifted my bags one last time and used my elbow to turn the handle.

I had expected my home not to have changed a bit, but after placing down all of my bags and closing the door, I could already sense it had changed. The smell was different than when I had last been home, but oddly still slightly familiar In general it seemed everything had been moved to give people a wide berth as they walked around, as well. But it was only when I entered the living room that I saw the biggest changes of all. The room had been rearranged with the furniture closer to the television. Behind the coach was the largest playpen I had ever seen. Inside was strewn with stuffed animals and toys appropriate for a baby. A few similar toys were scattered here and there throughout the room. Alex was on her back in the center of the playpen, starring into space as she chewed softly on a plastic peg, a colorful ring squeezed between her toes. Her red hair was cut short and tied into pigtails, and underneath a pink onesie an enormous, thick diaper bulged around her rear. A moment after I walked in she snapped out of her daze, saw me, and screamed.

“Oh god, Rebecca, I....I can explain,” she sputtered out, pulling the peg out of her mouth and tossing it aside. She pulled herself to her feet, but wasn't even fully up before my mother came rushing into the room. All three of us looked quite alike, with my sister and I really just being smaller and younger versions of her. Only coming up to her chin still made me uncomfortable, and for the last few years I tried to always be wearing heels around her. I had thought about wearing them for the trip here, but knew how she was about wearing shoes in the house. Still, I had always had it better than Alex, who seemed to have reached a maximum height that had her eye level with mom's breasts.

“No no Lexie, that's a no no!” my mother scolded as she reached for my sister in the playpen. She immediately lowered herself back down, but that didn't stop mom from pulling her out and dragging her over to the coach.

“I sowie mama, no mean to!” Alex cried out, her voice reverting to an infantile lisp. Mom simply shook her head as she sat down and pulled her over her knee. She unsnapped the seat of the onesie with one hand as she began to lecture my sister.

“Sorry doesn't cut it honey bundle.” she said, patting my sister's padded rear. “I heard someone not using their baby words, and that same someone knows it isn't safe for them to stand up without Mommy's help!” With that she began spanking my sister, who didn't take long to start bawling. Alex tried to lisp out a few more pathetic pleas, but after twenty seconds she had already been stood up and led by mom to a stool in the corner. She sat her down and shook a finger in her face as she explained that the baby would be in for a second round of spankings and a dose of castor oil if she took her nose out of the corner before a grown up let her out. After turning her around she stood up and addressed me for the first time.

“Becca, you're early!” she cried out. She walked over and pulled me into a tight hug, a huge gleam on her face. “I was planning to bring Lexie and pick you up from the airport. But what does it matter, it is so good to see you!” As she rocked me in her embrace, I stared over her should at my sister. Her onesie was still hanging open, and I could see a hint of a yellow stain on her diaper as she sniffled in the corner.


02


Mom brewed some tea for us, and we drank it on the coach while discussing the situation involving Alex.

“It's a new program they developed at the state level, apparently,” Mom began, setting the cup and platter in her lap. “They're rolling it out slowly for now, so little Alex gets to be one of the first toddling pioneers of the Do Over program.” In the corner I heard Alex stifle a sob, but she never turned away from the wall. I sat my own cup and plate on the coffee table. My mother was always one for trying new flavors, and while I hadn't recognized the taste I had enjoyed it enough to quickly down the whole cup.

“So this Do Over program, it involves....diapers?” I asked.

“The program is just as the name says. It was specifically made in mind for young woman with serious but non-violent offenses. The court has once again put Lexie under my legal custody. In a way, it's a second chance for me as well as her. I can raise her up again, try to see if I can't fix where I went wrong.”

“But the playpen...”

“I decided with little Lexie that if we were going to start over, I wanted to do so from the beginning. There's a budget set out for every participant in the program, and between that, myself, and your father we've invested in the whole line of big baby gear they've commisioned. It isn't just about the punishment, you have to understand, Becca. This is about nurturing her, loving her, helping her develop into a responsible young woman this time around. That's why I wanted you here this summer. It's important she has her big sister to set an example for her. After all, she's always adored you.

“And Dad's okay with all this?” I inquired. My mother tensed up at the question. The two had divorced years ago, and Dad immediately moved out of state and started a new family. He had never brought them around for any of his visits, but then his visits had been few and far in between. Still , I knew he always checked in on how we were doing, and he was helping to pay for my college. He had already committed to doing the same for Alex, too.

“Your father knows how severe the situation is,” Mom began after a moment. “And personally I think he partly blames his absence for this kind of behavior. He's paying his part, and he gave his consent. I don't expect he'll want to come see his baby girl any time soon, though. Who, speaking of...”

She gave me a gesture to stand up as she walked over to Alex's naughty corner. Even with mom right behind her Alex kept her head buried in the corner.

“Today is a special day, Lexie,” Mom said. “Sissy came home to see you! So Mommy will cut your corner time short, but her little girl needs to let Mommy know how much she loves her first. So what do we say?” At that Mom leaned down, and Alex turned around in her chair, wrapped her arms around her, and gave her a wet kiss on the lips, just like a baby.

“Wuv you mama.” she said quietly, still with a childish lisp. Mom returned her hug and lifted Alex to her feet. As she did so I saw her reach a hand down and slip two fingers into her diaper.

“Oh my, someone had another accident.” she cooed. “Well we'll take care of that soon enough, now won't we? First let's take you over to sissy so you can give her a big hug!” She turned Alex around and held both of her hands as they walked over to me. I had a clear view of just how thick the diaper between her legs was. Mounds of soaked plastic hung between her legs, giving her quite a waddle as she toddled over. It wouldn't have surprised me if she really did need help to walk even this short distance.

When they reached me mom let Alex's hands ago, and she stumbled another step forward before hugging. As she did I spread my arms out, almost on instinct, and pulled her into an embrace.

“Nice to see you, Lexie,” I said, reaching one hand up to stroke her hair.

“Hi Recca',” she shyly whispered. It was enough to melt my heart. She had started calling me that when she first learned to speak, and we hadn't been able to break her of the habit until she was almost four. It was then I knew why I recognized the smell of the house. It was just like when Alex had been a baby the first time, eighteen years ago. The entire situation put a smile on my face as I gave my sister a kiss on the forehead. With how red her face was I almost expected to have left a mark.

By the time I released Alex from the hug mom had quietly left the room and returned with a large mat. As she spread it out on the floor she gave it a pat and told me to bring Alex over and lay her on the pad while she went to get the changing supplies. I held my sister's hand as I led her over to her changing mat. I couldn't help peak a glance at her puffy rear as it swung back forward while she struggled to keep her balance. I lowered her down and gave her a nudge so she was on her back, looking up at me.

“Watch the baby while I pop into her nursery for a minute, Becca,” Mom.

“Oh don't worry, I know how to watch wittle Wexi, don't I,” I cooed to my sister. I took one of her feet by the ankle and started playing with her toes while my mom shuffled away. “This ltttle piggy went to market,” I began, wiggling her big toe in my fingers. “This little piggy stayed home...”

“Please, Rebecca, you can't,” my sister pleaded with me as she started sitting up. I shushed her, and seeing the pacifier mom had left on the pad I picked it up and popped it in her mouth before once again laying her down.

“This little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none,” I continued. It was a rhyme we both knew well. This was a game I played often with her when we were little, and I remember being crushed when she decided at six she was too old for it. I paused a moment as I grabbed her pinky toe, taking in the anticipation on her face. She was gently sucking on the pacifier, and I didn't think she even realized it.

“And this little piggy went we we we all the way home,” I cried out suddenly, wiggling her little toe quickly as I tickled the bottom of her foot. Despite herself Alex began to smile as she weakly tried pulling her foot away. I leaned over and traced my finger along the line of freckles across her face.

“Your new look is cute, Alex,” I said. “It suits you better than leather jackets and leggings.” At sixteen she had decided to move away from American Eagle and Hollister in favor of a new style. Gone were simple hoodies and jeans, and instead came short skirts and high heels. There were girls who could pull the look off, but when you didn't break five feet you just couldn't get away with so much makeup and hairspray. Jackets and stockings only made her look like a little girl playing dress up, not that she would acknowledge it. She always did look like a tag along following her friends who wore the same look. I was sure it was the same friends who contributed to her troublemaking and eventual crime.

She gave a little moan beneath her pacifier, and I did my best to stifle a giggle. “I know you don't want to hear it, but I can't say you didn't have something like this coming. I mean, you could have hurt someone. You could have killed someone. You could have died.” I could see the look of guilt on her face, and it almost seemed like she was about to cry, and ultimately I decided then wasn't the time for a lecture.

“But right now you just need to worry about one thing, and that's being a cutie patootie,” I cooed down at her, switching back from the serious tone I had just been using. She squirmed as I began tickling her sides. “Who's ready for a clean diaper? I bet baby Lexie is!” She shook her head as my fingers raced along her belly, but her little pigtails flailing left to right only made her even more adorable.

“It's diapee time!” my mother announced as she reentered the room, her arms full with all the supplies needed to change an overgrown infant. She dropped down to the side of the mat and laid out the plethora of necessities intended for her briefly adult daughter's bum. Powder, lotion, wipes, cream, and of course another thick diaper. Looking into Alex's eyes, I could see the conflict in them. There was no way she was enjoying that wet diaper, but she would never want me to see this stockpile used to change her into a new one. Unfortunately for her, mom had a way to make it even worse.

“I know its been a long time, but would you be willing to change your baby sister, Becca?” she asked, though she no doubt already knew the answer by the grin on my face.

“It's no problem mom, a big sister never forgets how to fix her little sister's accidents.” Alex did her best not to meet my eyes as I reached over for the tapes of her diaper. It took me more effort than I thought it would with the tapes. They were stronger than those for a normal diaper, and I could tell they were designed to be more difficult to pull them off from the angle of someone wearing them. Peeling away her plastic shell I was shocked at just how thoroughly she had soaked it. This wasn't the result of some dribbling, she had let loose a car trip's worth of piss into the thing. Apparently this was quite a disappointment for my mother.

“Someone wasn't acting their age and tried to hold in their peepee for too long,” she scolded my sister. “I know you want to impress your big sister, but I think she'd be more impressed if her little sister was a good girl with no problems going potty, right dear?”

“Of course you're right, Mom. Lexie, you don't need to show off for me. I love you the way you are, wet diapers and all!” My sister glared at me, but I ignored her as I begin wiping her down. I paused for moment after lifting her legs to begin wiping her butt when mom said, “If I think you're holding it in again, we'll have to go back to double diapers, baby.” That clearly made my sister nervous, and even I wondered how she could be expected to wear two of those thick diapers around her waist and be able to do anything.

I deposited the used wipes into her old diaper as I used each one, and once I was sure she was clean I slid the diaper out from underneath her and rolled it into a ball. My mother smiled approvingly as she took it to deposit it in the trash.

“Now this will feel much better, a soft, clean diaper,” I told Alex as I had lifted her legs up by the ankles and slid the new diaper underneath. I applied cream to a red spot I worried was the start of a rash before rubbing the lotion into my palms and started in at applying it all around her nether regions. She once again had begun to unconsciously suckle her pacifier as I worked the lotion into her skin. At my command she obediently raised her rear so I could apply the lotion there as well. By the time I finished mom was back and already had a wipe out for my hands. After cleaning my hands she gave me the powder, which I did my best to spread evenly all around her privates. Finally, I pulled the diaper up and taped it tightly into place, and then rolled her over and gave her a pat on her clean, puffy rear.

 

Mom moved in at this point to start reviewing my diapering job. Feeling for any looseness around Alex's waist, she eventually nodded in approval as she buttoned up her onesie.

“I was worried you'd be out of practice after fifteen years, but it looks like I was better teacher then I thought,” she told me. “Now, I think our little lady has had a lot of excitement this morning, so we'll feed her lunch early so she can take a longer nap.” This clearly displeased Alex, who I expected was already dealing with an early bedtime on top of regular naps.

“Not tiwerd mommy,” she complained from behind her pacifier.

“Sweetie, mommy knows best, and mommy knows when her baby girl will end up fussy if she isn't put down to sleep at the right time. Becca, gather up the changing supplies and take it back to the nursery while I get Lexie ready for lunch. You good with ham and cheese for us?”

“That sounds fine me,” I said as I started collection the mat, wipes, and various bottles I had just used on my sister's rear. Mom went off to the kitchen, and Alex gave me the most pitiful look before crawling after her, unable to prevent her padded rear from swaying back and forward as she followed on her hands and knees.

Though she hadn't told me which room was the nursery, there hadn't been a need to. I knew without a doubt Alex's room would have been converted to serve her new position. After all, that was its purpose to start with. The room had first been my nursery up until the day my parents brought Alex home. I was then moved into the spare, which I remember taking badly at first. I had been quite a brat about it, unable to understand why the baby was getting my room, and I was being shoved away into a new one. Even a jealous four year old was eventually able to see the advantages of her own room separate from her infant sister, though. All it took was a few sleepless nights for my parents and a pail of dirty diapers being knocked over.

Walking down the hall to her room, I suddenly felt very small. Mom taking Lexie to the kitchen for a feed while I brought the powder back to the nursery was something of a lunch time ritual when I was young. It almost seemed as if I was five again, when the house felt so much bigger. I could remember being happy to help, but jealous I had to wait for my lunch until my sister's had been prepared. And almost every day my mother and I shared the same lunch. Ham and cheese sandwiches, mine divided into quarters with the crust cut off.

Things weren't the same as before, though. Alex might be in diapers again, but I was an adult now. I wasn't here to be mommy's little helper, I was here to help keep my sister out of jail.

                       

                            HAPPY READING!

                                  Diddldum

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9 minutes ago, diddldum said:

Dear daddyeric91,

you have an excellent memory:

             WOW - I FOUND IT!

 

The Do Over Program  - by Charlatan


01


It was odd how my hometown could seem so new to me. Familiar, sure, but observing from the back of cab seemed to give me a different perspective. I noticed a few empty buildings where local business once were. Places I had never been to, would probably have never entered, but it was still sad to see empty windows and signs advertising the buildings where they had once been.

“The last year has been rough around here, huh,” I said. It was the first thing I had said since giving him my destination, and it seemed to startle him a bit. He had scraggly hair and a hiker's hat, and I thought he might have been my school bus driver at one point.

“Not quite so much as a change in management around here,” he told me in a high, familiar southern drawl, watching me in the rear view mirror.  The voice confirmed it, he had definitely been an old bus driver.  “The state and city hill are working together close on implementing new policies and such, shaking things up all over the place.” Whatever anyone else thought, that was welcome news in my mind. I had gone to college out of state partly because I felt things were too stagnant around here. After the last fight with my mother, I almost believed I would never come back.

Thinking about my mother made look over my outfit for the umpteenth time today. A college polo and a pair of slacks, I was sure it would leave a good impression, but I still worried. She probably wouldn't like my hair, short and with a long swept fringe, but I was only out to keep her content about my appearance. I was an adult, and I wasn't getting a makeover just to please her. After the memory of the pink and blue monstrosity of a style I had for a short time in high school, this should hardly upset her.

As the cabbie pulled off the main road and we neared my old neighborhood, I thought back to the phone call that had changed my entire plans for the summer. Seeing my mother on the caller ID had shocked me. When she came to visit over the winter holiday and I had let her know about my new choice of major, it was an understatement saying she didn't take it well. Mom was not one to raise her voice, but I would have rather been yelled at than to see her cry. I had waited a year to tell her, but I hadn't prepared myself for that. She had always been on the spiritual side, and I had known she didn't think well of what she saw as high and mighty intellectualized philosophy. She tried to argue with the jobs market point of view, but I was prepared to put in the work to be able to work. In the end she never even said goodbye when she left, instead waiting in the car while my sister and I hugged and did a last bit of gossiping.

Her sister was the reason she had called. Alex had always been a troublemaker, but it wasn't until high school she became a delinquent. And now it seemed she had picked the end of her senior year to jump straight to being a criminal.

“Alcohol.....car wreck....thank god no one was hurt,” my mom had sobbed over the phone. “The lawyer says they're looking to make an example of her. She could end up in jail for up to a year.”

She explained the court was going to offer Alex an alternative, though. Some kind of new program, one that involved participation from her family. Mom hadn't been able to explain it well at the time, but I had promised to come stay at home for the summer, and to help out however I could.\

Classes finished in May, but between work and the situation with the apartment I'd be moving into for my final semester, it wasn't until June that I was able to return home. Surprisingly, my mother didn't raise much of a fuss about that.

“Becca, you deal with yourself and your issues first,” she explained, much more chipper than I had ever expected. If it hadn't been for her state during that first call I would have corrected her about my name, reminding her once again that I wanted to go by Rebecca, that Becca was too much of a little girl's name.

“This is your stop, Becca,” the cabbie said, shaking me from my thoughts. The cab hadn't stopped right outside of my house, but instead it was.....

“The bus stop,” I said. The same one he picked me up from and dropped me off at for two years. The cabbie was already out of the car and pulling my two suitcases and backpack from the trunk.

“It was good to see you again, lass. Tell your sister old driver Ralph says hi.” I gave him a large tip on top of the fare, and Ralph gave me a tip of his hat before getting back in the cab and driving away. Standing at my old bus stop with a heavy backpack was quite nostalgic. I half expected my mother to come strolling down the sidewalk and ask me how my day had been, embarrassing me in front of the other kids by walking me home. But I was alone, and after a moment began the short walk to the house I had spent the first eighteen years of my life in.

 

My home was only a minute or two from the stop, but I was already sweating thanks to carrying two heavy suitcases. It made me think I should join the other girls at the gym more often. At first I dropped my bags at the door so I could knock, but remember it was my own house and was always unlocked if someone was alone. Besides, I had arrived hours early just to surprise everyone, I might as well go all out about it. With a groan I lifted my bags one last time and used my elbow to turn the handle.

I had expected my home not to have changed a bit, but after placing down all of my bags and closing the door, I could already sense it had changed. The smell was different than when I had last been home, but oddly still slightly familiar In general it seemed everything had been moved to give people a wide berth as they walked around, as well. But it was only when I entered the living room that I saw the biggest changes of all. The room had been rearranged with the furniture closer to the television. Behind the coach was the largest playpen I had ever seen. Inside was strewn with stuffed animals and toys appropriate for a baby. A few similar toys were scattered here and there throughout the room. Alex was on her back in the center of the playpen, starring into space as she chewed softly on a plastic peg, a colorful ring squeezed between her toes. Her red hair was cut short and tied into pigtails, and underneath a pink onesie an enormous, thick diaper bulged around her rear. A moment after I walked in she snapped out of her daze, saw me, and screamed.

“Oh god, Rebecca, I....I can explain,” she sputtered out, pulling the peg out of her mouth and tossing it aside. She pulled herself to her feet, but wasn't even fully up before my mother came rushing into the room. All three of us looked quite alike, with my sister and I really just being smaller and younger versions of her. Only coming up to her chin still made me uncomfortable, and for the last few years I tried to always be wearing heels around her. I had thought about wearing them for the trip here, but knew how she was about wearing shoes in the house. Still, I had always had it better than Alex, who seemed to have reached a maximum height that had her eye level with mom's breasts.

“No no Lexie, that's a no no!” my mother scolded as she reached for my sister in the playpen. She immediately lowered herself back down, but that didn't stop mom from pulling her out and dragging her over to the coach.

“I sowie mama, no mean to!” Alex cried out, her voice reverting to an infantile lisp. Mom simply shook her head as she sat down and pulled her over her knee. She unsnapped the seat of the onesie with one hand as she began to lecture my sister.

“Sorry doesn't cut it honey bundle.” she said, patting my sister's padded rear. “I heard someone not using their baby words, and that same someone knows it isn't safe for them to stand up without Mommy's help!” With that she began spanking my sister, who didn't take long to start bawling. Alex tried to lisp out a few more pathetic pleas, but after twenty seconds she had already been stood up and led by mom to a stool in the corner. She sat her down and shook a finger in her face as she explained that the baby would be in for a second round of spankings and a dose of castor oil if she took her nose out of the corner before a grown up let her out. After turning her around she stood up and addressed me for the first time.

“Becca, you're early!” she cried out. She walked over and pulled me into a tight hug, a huge gleam on her face. “I was planning to bring Lexie and pick you up from the airport. But what does it matter, it is so good to see you!” As she rocked me in her embrace, I stared over her should at my sister. Her onesie was still hanging open, and I could see a hint of a yellow stain on her diaper as she sniffled in the corner.


02


Mom brewed some tea for us, and we drank it on the coach while discussing the situation involving Alex.

“It's a new program they developed at the state level, apparently,” Mom began, setting the cup and platter in her lap. “They're rolling it out slowly for now, so little Alex gets to be one of the first toddling pioneers of the Do Over program.” In the corner I heard Alex stifle a sob, but she never turned away from the wall. I sat my own cup and plate on the coffee table. My mother was always one for trying new flavors, and while I hadn't recognized the taste I had enjoyed it enough to quickly down the whole cup.

“So this Do Over program, it involves....diapers?” I asked.

“The program is just as the name says. It was specifically made in mind for young woman with serious but non-violent offenses. The court has once again put Lexie under my legal custody. In a way, it's a second chance for me as well as her. I can raise her up again, try to see if I can't fix where I went wrong.”

“But the playpen...”

“I decided with little Lexie that if we were going to start over, I wanted to do so from the beginning. There's a budget set out for every participant in the program, and between that, myself, and your father we've invested in the whole line of big baby gear they've commisioned. It isn't just about the punishment, you have to understand, Becca. This is about nurturing her, loving her, helping her develop into a responsible young woman this time around. That's why I wanted you here this summer. It's important she has her big sister to set an example for her. After all, she's always adored you.

“And Dad's okay with all this?” I inquired. My mother tensed up at the question. The two had divorced years ago, and Dad immediately moved out of state and started a new family. He had never brought them around for any of his visits, but then his visits had been few and far in between. Still , I knew he always checked in on how we were doing, and he was helping to pay for my college. He had already committed to doing the same for Alex, too.

“Your father knows how severe the situation is,” Mom began after a moment. “And personally I think he partly blames his absence for this kind of behavior. He's paying his part, and he gave his consent. I don't expect he'll want to come see his baby girl any time soon, though. Who, speaking of...”

She gave me a gesture to stand up as she walked over to Alex's naughty corner. Even with mom right behind her Alex kept her head buried in the corner.

“Today is a special day, Lexie,” Mom said. “Sissy came home to see you! So Mommy will cut your corner time short, but her little girl needs to let Mommy know how much she loves her first. So what do we say?” At that Mom leaned down, and Alex turned around in her chair, wrapped her arms around her, and gave her a wet kiss on the lips, just like a baby.

“Wuv you mama.” she said quietly, still with a childish lisp. Mom returned her hug and lifted Alex to her feet. As she did so I saw her reach a hand down and slip two fingers into her diaper.

“Oh my, someone had another accident.” she cooed. “Well we'll take care of that soon enough, now won't we? First let's take you over to sissy so you can give her a big hug!” She turned Alex around and held both of her hands as they walked over to me. I had a clear view of just how thick the diaper between her legs was. Mounds of soaked plastic hung between her legs, giving her quite a waddle as she toddled over. It wouldn't have surprised me if she really did need help to walk even this short distance.

When they reached me mom let Alex's hands ago, and she stumbled another step forward before hugging. As she did I spread my arms out, almost on instinct, and pulled her into an embrace.

“Nice to see you, Lexie,” I said, reaching one hand up to stroke her hair.

“Hi Recca',” she shyly whispered. It was enough to melt my heart. She had started calling me that when she first learned to speak, and we hadn't been able to break her of the habit until she was almost four. It was then I knew why I recognized the smell of the house. It was just like when Alex had been a baby the first time, eighteen years ago. The entire situation put a smile on my face as I gave my sister a kiss on the forehead. With how red her face was I almost expected to have left a mark.

By the time I released Alex from the hug mom had quietly left the room and returned with a large mat. As she spread it out on the floor she gave it a pat and told me to bring Alex over and lay her on the pad while she went to get the changing supplies. I held my sister's hand as I led her over to her changing mat. I couldn't help peak a glance at her puffy rear as it swung back forward while she struggled to keep her balance. I lowered her down and gave her a nudge so she was on her back, looking up at me.

“Watch the baby while I pop into her nursery for a minute, Becca,” Mom.

“Oh don't worry, I know how to watch wittle Wexi, don't I,” I cooed to my sister. I took one of her feet by the ankle and started playing with her toes while my mom shuffled away. “This ltttle piggy went to market,” I began, wiggling her big toe in my fingers. “This little piggy stayed home...”

“Please, Rebecca, you can't,” my sister pleaded with me as she started sitting up. I shushed her, and seeing the pacifier mom had left on the pad I picked it up and popped it in her mouth before once again laying her down.

“This little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none,” I continued. It was a rhyme we both knew well. This was a game I played often with her when we were little, and I remember being crushed when she decided at six she was too old for it. I paused a moment as I grabbed her pinky toe, taking in the anticipation on her face. She was gently sucking on the pacifier, and I didn't think she even realized it.

“And this little piggy went we we we all the way home,” I cried out suddenly, wiggling her little toe quickly as I tickled the bottom of her foot. Despite herself Alex began to smile as she weakly tried pulling her foot away. I leaned over and traced my finger along the line of freckles across her face.

“Your new look is cute, Alex,” I said. “It suits you better than leather jackets and leggings.” At sixteen she had decided to move away from American Eagle and Hollister in favor of a new style. Gone were simple hoodies and jeans, and instead came short skirts and high heels. There were girls who could pull the look off, but when you didn't break five feet you just couldn't get away with so much makeup and hairspray. Jackets and stockings only made her look like a little girl playing dress up, not that she would acknowledge it. She always did look like a tag along following her friends who wore the same look. I was sure it was the same friends who contributed to her troublemaking and eventual crime.

She gave a little moan beneath her pacifier, and I did my best to stifle a giggle. “I know you don't want to hear it, but I can't say you didn't have something like this coming. I mean, you could have hurt someone. You could have killed someone. You could have died.” I could see the look of guilt on her face, and it almost seemed like she was about to cry, and ultimately I decided then wasn't the time for a lecture.

“But right now you just need to worry about one thing, and that's being a cutie patootie,” I cooed down at her, switching back from the serious tone I had just been using. She squirmed as I began tickling her sides. “Who's ready for a clean diaper? I bet baby Lexie is!” She shook her head as my fingers raced along her belly, but her little pigtails flailing left to right only made her even more adorable.

“It's diapee time!” my mother announced as she reentered the room, her arms full with all the supplies needed to change an overgrown infant. She dropped down to the side of the mat and laid out the plethora of necessities intended for her briefly adult daughter's bum. Powder, lotion, wipes, cream, and of course another thick diaper. Looking into Alex's eyes, I could see the conflict in them. There was no way she was enjoying that wet diaper, but she would never want me to see this stockpile used to change her into a new one. Unfortunately for her, mom had a way to make it even worse.

“I know its been a long time, but would you be willing to change your baby sister, Becca?” she asked, though she no doubt already knew the answer by the grin on my face.

“It's no problem mom, a big sister never forgets how to fix her little sister's accidents.” Alex did her best not to meet my eyes as I reached over for the tapes of her diaper. It took me more effort than I thought it would with the tapes. They were stronger than those for a normal diaper, and I could tell they were designed to be more difficult to pull them off from the angle of someone wearing them. Peeling away her plastic shell I was shocked at just how thoroughly she had soaked it. This wasn't the result of some dribbling, she had let loose a car trip's worth of piss into the thing. Apparently this was quite a disappointment for my mother.

“Someone wasn't acting their age and tried to hold in their peepee for too long,” she scolded my sister. “I know you want to impress your big sister, but I think she'd be more impressed if her little sister was a good girl with no problems going potty, right dear?”

“Of course you're right, Mom. Lexie, you don't need to show off for me. I love you the way you are, wet diapers and all!” My sister glared at me, but I ignored her as I begin wiping her down. I paused for moment after lifting her legs to begin wiping her butt when mom said, “If I think you're holding it in again, we'll have to go back to double diapers, baby.” That clearly made my sister nervous, and even I wondered how she could be expected to wear two of those thick diapers around her waist and be able to do anything.

I deposited the used wipes into her old diaper as I used each one, and once I was sure she was clean I slid the diaper out from underneath her and rolled it into a ball. My mother smiled approvingly as she took it to deposit it in the trash.

“Now this will feel much better, a soft, clean diaper,” I told Alex as I had lifted her legs up by the ankles and slid the new diaper underneath. I applied cream to a red spot I worried was the start of a rash before rubbing the lotion into my palms and started in at applying it all around her nether regions. She once again had begun to unconsciously suckle her pacifier as I worked the lotion into her skin. At my command she obediently raised her rear so I could apply the lotion there as well. By the time I finished mom was back and already had a wipe out for my hands. After cleaning my hands she gave me the powder, which I did my best to spread evenly all around her privates. Finally, I pulled the diaper up and taped it tightly into place, and then rolled her over and gave her a pat on her clean, puffy rear.

 

Mom moved in at this point to start reviewing my diapering job. Feeling for any looseness around Alex's waist, she eventually nodded in approval as she buttoned up her onesie.

“I was worried you'd be out of practice after fifteen years, but it looks like I was better teacher then I thought,” she told me. “Now, I think our little lady has had a lot of excitement this morning, so we'll feed her lunch early so she can take a longer nap.” This clearly displeased Alex, who I expected was already dealing with an early bedtime on top of regular naps.

“Not tiwerd mommy,” she complained from behind her pacifier.

“Sweetie, mommy knows best, and mommy knows when her baby girl will end up fussy if she isn't put down to sleep at the right time. Becca, gather up the changing supplies and take it back to the nursery while I get Lexie ready for lunch. You good with ham and cheese for us?”

“That sounds fine me,” I said as I started collection the mat, wipes, and various bottles I had just used on my sister's rear. Mom went off to the kitchen, and Alex gave me the most pitiful look before crawling after her, unable to prevent her padded rear from swaying back and forward as she followed on her hands and knees.

Though she hadn't told me which room was the nursery, there hadn't been a need to. I knew without a doubt Alex's room would have been converted to serve her new position. After all, that was its purpose to start with. The room had first been my nursery up until the day my parents brought Alex home. I was then moved into the spare, which I remember taking badly at first. I had been quite a brat about it, unable to understand why the baby was getting my room, and I was being shoved away into a new one. Even a jealous four year old was eventually able to see the advantages of her own room separate from her infant sister, though. All it took was a few sleepless nights for my parents and a pail of dirty diapers being knocked over.

Walking down the hall to her room, I suddenly felt very small. Mom taking Lexie to the kitchen for a feed while I brought the powder back to the nursery was something of a lunch time ritual when I was young. It almost seemed as if I was five again, when the house felt so much bigger. I could remember being happy to help, but jealous I had to wait for my lunch until my sister's had been prepared. And almost every day my mother and I shared the same lunch. Ham and cheese sandwiches, mine divided into quarters with the crust cut off.

Things weren't the same as before, though. Alex might be in diapers again, but I was an adult now. I wasn't here to be mommy's little helper, I was here to help keep my sister out of jail.

                       

                            HAPPY READING!

                                  Diddldum

Thank you, this story will be started up again, i am going to have it commisioned and finished.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I really enjoyed the story. There were times where it seemed as though the story only concentrated on diaper changes, bottle feedings, sleeping in cribs, and humiliation. But then the bits and pieces slipped in I thought we’re really funny and made the story for me. One part in particular was where he peed on the school girl who was changing his diaper. That was great. Thanks for sharing the story. 

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