Savage Love: A diaper lover's dealbreaker

[Nia]

I found the advice part of this article actually decent.

 

https://www.straight.com/life/1086016/savage-love-diaper-lovers-dealbreaker

[Brudda Voodu]

I just read that article on a different news web page.  I agree, I liked the advice given to the wife who posted the question.  I feel sorry for the poor guy, I bet he feels pretty awful about himself and his diapers.  Any person who puts up an ultimatum like that, "do what I want or I'll leave" is a shitty person and not worth any time in a relationship.  As much as I despise the wife in this article, for being so self centered and obviously wanting the relationship to be only about her needs. I think the husband should have had the courage to walk away from her once she proposed that ultimatum.   

[spark]

I'm sure the lady was thinking like a lot of narcistic self-indulgent people think.  This guys has this awful kink and I told him he can't indulge and has to engage in my preferred method.  It sounds like she assumed she would get a sympathetic audience, because it can't be her.   If the letter is real, I guarantee you she is selfish in many other ways.   She wasn't asking how she can help him.   It was "How can he change, because I think him liking diapers is disgusting?"   I'm not a professional therapist, but my advice to him is divorce her.   It ain't easy, because they have a child, and she is too selfish to accept him as father.

[vvp39]

I know a guy who was married to a selfish bitch like that. She took their two daughters and moved across the US to be with someone she met online. He doesn't talk about but he's got to wonder from time to time what his daughters are like, how they're doing etc....

[carsfan]

This guy can't divorce her fast enough. She sounds awful in many ways other then the kink thing. 

[DiaperedMike21]

That sounds like what my ex wife did back in 2013 when we split and finalized the divorce in 2015 because of me being deployed in 2014.

On 6/9/2018 at 2:23 AM, spark said:

I'm sure the lady was thinking like a lot of narcistic self-indulgent people think.  This guys has this awful kink and I told him he can't indulge and has to engage in my preferred method.  It sounds like she assumed she would get a sympathetic audience, because it can't be her.   If the letter is real, I guarantee you she is selfish in many other ways.   She wasn't asking how she can help him.   It was "How can he change, because I think him liking diapers is disgusting?"   I'm not a professional therapist, but my advice to him is divorce her.   It ain't easy, because they have a child, and she is too selfish to accept him as father.

 

[Joey_AB_DL]

This is one of the few articles or letters to the editor that paints ABDL in a decent light.  I especially like the message that people cannot always control their fetish or desires.  I have repressed my ABDL tendencies for decades.  I was aware of my obsession with diapers from about 4 y/o and it became sexual when I hit puberty in my teens.  I regressed it (as best I could) while in highschool, the military and when my daughter was young and lived at home.  I still keep it a secret from my wife.  This article and scenario is a good example of why I still don't want to take the plunge to tell my wife.

This should be a sticky.  Perhaps a serious ABDL reference thread for new members, spouses, etc.

Joey

[Bettypooh]

Repression is often worse on a person than the fetish itself.Every person and every situation is different, so it becomes an individual choice based on how strong the motivations are and what effects are or might be involved when repressing or allowing it. We all know that ABDL doesn't need to be harmful, and that if dealt with well can even enhance a relationship or life in general. That doesn't always happen but nothing in life is certain. 

I cannot fathom what goes on in the mind of a person who is only thinking of themselves and who doesn't want to tolerate anyone doing something they do not embrace or agree with. All relationships are a compromise where you will never get everything the way you want it to be. All successful relationships allow enough for the other person to be happy too, for their happiness makes the whole relationship better. Those who cannot or will not make adequate allowances for the other person do not deserve to be in a relationship and experience the benefits of it.

You cannot make someone else do something, nor can someone make you do something. There is always a choice (albeit sometimes only a bad one) but the choice remains. It is what you choose that sets the limits you have in your life. Choosing to be with a selfish controlling person is almost universally a bad choice if you desire happiness. Best to distance yourself from those kinds and let them stew in the problems they created for themselves because of their own choices. 

Bettypooh

[Cute_Kitten]

Wow. Just wow.   Dude must have patience to put up with a piece of work like that.  Hell, I've hit the door for less when I was younger, and that was nothing to do with diapers.  At the first ultimatum, my answer would've been, "Okay"  *packs bags and heads out the door*   That woman sounds like a double-barreled bitch on wheels. 

[horrorfan]

The guy should have backed out when his fiance made him choose, however I would definitely have blown up in anyone's face were they to expose me online like that. 

Also, to those of you out there who share a computer with someone else and need to cover your tracks, be sure to delete your history. Ctrl + H brings up history and you can delete browsing data as you need to. I would personally recommend using firefox to visit this site as with firefox you have the option to have the browser remove all entries to particular sites.

[cruxshadow]

On 7/2/2018 at 3:33 PM, horrorfan said:

The guy should have backed out when his fiance made him choose, however I would definitely have blown up in anyone's face were they to expose me online like that. 

Also, to those of you out there who share a computer with someone else and need to cover your tracks, be sure to delete your history. Ctrl + H brings up history and you can delete browsing data as you need to. I would personally recommend using firefox to visit this site as with firefox you have the option to have the browser remove all entries to particular sites.

But then is there an easily discovered list of non-tracked sites somewhere in the settings?

[horrorfan]

@cruxshadow, I'm not sure and I'll have to look into that sometime, but this method should be adequate for your average user. If someone wants to find data bad enough then they can, however the software to do so can be a little pricey.

[spark]

Those are all treating symptoms and ignoring the more serious issue.        I get it the need to keep browsing history private, but depending on the situation there is such a thing as mutual respect.   If we are talking about keeping this from a significant other- discretion is one thing, but go so far out of your way to hide your tracks is hiding a much more serious issue.

[horrorfan]

@spark, as you pointed out, it depends on the situation. I cannot know everyone's situation, so my advice in general is to monitor browsing history. I do not condone relationships based on lies, but in general, it's best to take precaution.