I told my wife I like to wear diapers...please read.

[laughingmoose]

Forgive me for the long post, but it's my story and I need to share it.

So, this past Friday evening I told my wife the biggest secret I've ever kept. Never told anyone before, not even anyone online, or forum, etc. I never thought I would tell anyone, ever. But, I did.

I was nervous. But, I had a reason to tell her... Here is my story.

I've been married to my wife for 2 years now. We have a almost 8 months old son. We have been together for 4 years now. We are a happy couple, with a "average" sex life and we have had our ups and our downs, until a few months ago, I always trusted my wife, that changed in April. I found out she had been texting a guy for a year and a half. She changed his name in her phone, so I wouldn't think anything of it. She called him "Courtney" and she would text him several, several times a day. His real name was Teddy and Teddy lived about 600 miles north of us, they exchanged numbers a year and a half ago, after talking so long on a phone app (Dice with Buddies) and they "just became good friends." He knew she was a married woman, but he as well "saw her as just a friend.."

However, I looked through her phone one day in April and found pictures of him (dressed) and that this "Courtney" was really a guy, she had been lying to me about and how they would message each other literally sometimes a hundred times a day. He would sometimes ask sexual questions, ie: Have you ever tried anal? How many guys have you been with.. etc. She answered them. She also vented to him when we would argue and some of the text messages I read, were the worst things I ever read in my life. One time she wrote to him... "The biggest regret I have is marrying my husband." Those words still haunt me to this day.

My world came crashing down when I told her I knew who "Courtney" was and I wanted to know everything. We talked and cried for hours. She blocked him, and deleted him off every type of social media they were associated with. I was devastated, on the the verge at times to just call it quits. However, she talked me through everything and allowed me 100% use of her phone and anything I wanted. Passwords to Facebook, email, any social media, etc with access to check anything I want. She told me there were no more secrets and she would be 100% honest from then on out about everything and no more lies, or secrets. As hard as it was, I had no choice, but to believe her.

Long story short... I have had many hard days and hard times, but I have spoken with her and she has been there to answer anything I have asked. My trust for her was gone completely and would take awhile to get back... and it started to. Every now an then, I would dig deeper into past Facebook messages, posts, or emails from years ago, even before we were married. Well, on Wednesday, May 30th, my world came to a shatter. I found about a dozen emails from my wife in the sent trash folder dating from 2007-2012 emailing another girl about sex, going down on her, how much she loved her etc. It made me so sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe it. I thought, this can't be her, I would have never imagined she was a lesbian. So I printed all the emails and saved them to my hard-drive. After she got home from work, I told her I wanted to know her biggest secret. She couldn't tell me. She didn't have any idea I already knew. So I told her I knew about "Audra" and she told me she was so embarrassed and ashamed and thought I would have never married her if she told me before we got married, or if she told me after I found out about the text messages form Teddy, she thought for sure I would divorce her.

I got a hotel that night. I was disgusted. I didn't want to see her. I needed to think straight. I couldn't believe she lied to me. She confessed, she was a closet lesbian with her best friend for almost 6 years. She lost her virginity to her and they did everything lesbians do, just in the closet. They lived with one another after graduation and it was a big family secret. Only her siblings, parents and grandparents knew. It wasn't on any social media, talked about with any friends and not PDA. She told me she wanted to tell me so many times before, but knew inside she couldn't. She didn't have the courage too, and she thought I wouldn't accept it and would leave her.

I told her, the LYING about not sharing this secret with me, hurt more than the fact that she was a lesbian (or bi-sexual) and it's something I should have known about BEFORE we got married. She told me she was ashamed and embarrassed that she was with her girlfriend for so long and she didn't want that lifestyle. She told me she realized she wanted kids, was also attracted to guys and wanted a family, something Audra couldn't give her. She also never wanted to be "out" and had feelings for guys too. She wanted to live a straight lifestyle, so she tried to cover up any skeletons she had in her closet and hide as much as she could, never thinking I would ever find out. She deleted pictures, posts, messages, emails, etc anything even close to something about her and Audra.

We are not going to counseling and talking about things more and more. On Friday, two days after I found out about her biggest secret and HUGE lie... I told her I had something to confess to her as well. It was nothing like how big and bad her secret was, or the fact she lied and hid it from me for 4 years about being a bi-sexual... but I told her. She laughed, in acceptance, like "That's it?" That is your secret!?

It started when I was young. Very young. 5? I would steal my little cousin's diapers and try and wear them. It made me feel comfortable, secure. I hid them in my closet and would wear one now and then and made me feel so good. When I was a teenager, I thought about buying some at the store, but because I lived in such a small town, I never did because I was sure someone I knew would be there. So one day, when I was like 17 or 18, I went to a store and used a bathroom and there were some opened depends in the bathroom stall. I was so excited. I took one and tried it on. I instantly got an erection and I went back the very next day and took like 4-5 more from the bathroom stall. I wore them, masturbated in them and sometimes peed. It just felt comfortable. I've ordered a few packs online since then and hid them from her. Sometimes throwing my stash away because I was afraid I would get caught. I haven't worn a diaper in probably a year, well before my son was born. I've always been turned on by pictures of girls in diapers and wanted to have a sexual experience with a girl wearing a diaper. I told her, I was attracted to the fetish of wearing a diaper, and being with a girl, who would wear a diaper too at times, especially in the bedroom. Nothing more than the feeling I get of wearing one and the feeling I get if she tried one on. So I told her. She told me she could "never do that" but later that night, I believe I convinced to try, because it would please me. She told me I could order some diapers online and when they came in, she would try, for me. So I have some on order. I am really anxious to try one on her. I don't know if she will like it. But she told me, I could buy some and at least not have to hide them from her... and if I did, and she found them, at least she wouldn't be concerned and ask questions. I felt better getting it off my chest, even though it wasn't a huge secret to me that I was trying to keep in from never telling her-- I just never told anyone at all. I know I am not alone here and how big the ABDL community is. I told her to look it up sometime and that I am not the only one with this fetish (as hard as it sometimes can believe, even when you are the one with the fetish) because I know it sounds strange... I like to wear diapers as a grown man for sexual pleasure and comfort.

She accepts my "baggage" I am working on accepting hers and being 100% open and honest with one another. Hopefully it will make our relationship even stronger than it ever has been and because of all this, allowed me to tell her and maybe have some experiences with her that I always fantasized about. Who knows.. maybe she will enjoy it. I know a lot of girls like the way it feels for them too, but you have to just get past "it's a diaper."

Thank you for letting me share my story.

 

 

[Wannatripbaby]

That was a very touching story. I'm glad you and your wife are working through things.

Let us know how it goes if she does try the diaper. If you're comfortable with sharing that. And if not, just keep us updated on how the 2 of you are doing.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

It is great that everything is finally getting out in the open.  Secrets about having a diaper fetish and having a secret lesbian lover are generally never positive things for a marriage.  Your marriage clearly shows that you both love one another or you both would have given up a long time ago.  Walking away from a marriage especially when you have been hurt is taking the easy route and in my opinion too many couples experience this.  Working through things like desires to be incontinent and extreme sexual frustration takes courage and will make any relationship stronger... I know through experience.  Honesty and communication are a must and from the sound of things your marriage is finally getting a healthy dose of both.  I wish you two the best of luck and I look forward to updates.

[Darkfinn]

This is why it's important to share personal details with your significant other BEFORE they become your spouse. My wife knew I had ABDL interests within 30 days of us becoming exclusive.

[Old_PA]

"The biggest regret I have is marrying my husband."  Thoughts like this often pass through peoples' minds without being permanent. To be bisexual is not the worst. You have a son and obviously the chemistry. DL fetish is harmless. Once total trust is lost, it's gone and probably for ever. 'Make this marriage work' is a good motto. 

[drynot]

Wow.....

So my initial thoughts are I'm kinda sympathetic towards your wife.  I mean....its got to be tough going through a sexual identity crisis even in todays day and age.  Its definitely a subject that needed to come up early in your relationship but what's done is done.

Communication is the best part of any successful marriage.  For some reason you guys have a communication issue that needs to be resolved.  Easy to say and really tough to do when there are trust issues.  However...with practice it definitely gets easier.

I'm hopeful that things work out between you folks

[luvsluvs]

Great to hear your Story I told my girlfriend on about the 5th date that I liked wearing diapers and now where married for over a year now. Only on our anniversary did I Show her that I wanted to wear around her and she was fine with it and already knew I had been secretly wearing them from time to time in the house. Its always good to let the secrets out and be open. 

[laughingmoose]

Thanks everyone.

These past three and a half weeks have been rough, to say the least. Good days and bad days. I have a hard time to "accept" her past because she cannot explain it to me. She just tells me she is not gay anymore and has zero interest in being or attraction to any girls. Because I am a straight male and always have been, I have a hard to to grasp and understand that. I don't know how someone can change from gay to straight without even being considered a "bisexual." But that's what she tells me.

She has been honest with me, as far as I know for the past few weeks. We also tried diapers in bed one night. As much as I thought it would turn me on (it did) but I was expecting more. She wasn't too turned on by it, which I think led me to be a little turned off, even though she put one on for me. I know she would do it again if I asked her too, but she didn't enjoy it.

I have not worn openly around her- and frankly I would probably feel uncomfortable if I did. Or judged? But then, just when I think that, I think... well my wife was gay for 6 years before we met, never told me... andI can only imagine how much she must feel judged by that.

We are working on this. Any help/advice is always welcome. Thanks for your replies. I enjoy reading them.

[id0ntknow]

1 hour ago, laughingmoose said:

 She just tells me she is not gay anymore and has zero interest in being or attraction to any girls.

This strikes me as odd a little bit. I know that just trying to "have no interest" in something is very hard after having a strong desire for it for so long. I know that from being a DL at least anyway. If sexual desires are similar to diaper desires, then I don't know if this statement from your wife is %100 true. Not meaning to bring any negativity, but just giving my 2 cents.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

First step is a marriage counsellor for both of you

[Brutal]

I don't want to seem like an insensative jerk, but I invariably will. Make sure the kid is actually yours... get one of those 23 & me fathers day DNA kits for $99. 

Cheaters don't change. Be careful because she will use your diaper fetish against you in court if the child is yours and you try to divorce her. She will say your fetish drove her to cheat.

If the kid isn't yours get the hell out now. Cause she will cheat again. By what you wrote, she didn't confess and repent. She got caught by emails in the trash folder she never thought you'd see. Guess she didn't empty the trash folder.

Now if being a diapered cuckold gets you hard, then hey stay with her. But staying around for the kid is pointless. You'll be telling your son it's okay to be with a wife that cheats on you.

There are plenty of women that are cool with the abdl lifestyle. I've dated half a dozen and married an AB girl.

You don't have to stay in the relationship because you think you will never find another person willing to accept your fetish. Trust me, there are people out there. Granted you have to be a pretty stellar guy, because you will be competing with accomplished, fit men with great careers. But I'd take my chances.

Hope things work out the way you want.

PS. Her lesbian desires didn't go away. People don't just stop being gay or bisexual. To be fair to her though, you waited until after you were married and had a kid to divulge your diaper secret. That's just as uncool bro.

 

[AbabeBill]

A very rough stretch of road your family is traveling right now. You seem to have strong indications, that you and your wife want this to work out, and you love each other. This is not much different from an injury, that festered, but is now open, and still bleeding. You want to tend to this, stop the bleeding, and get the wound cleaned up, so it can heal correctly. I say this because, I believe you need to seek some help. Help, to get your wounded marriage better heeled. A professional (counselor), could help guide you in this. I’m sure you can get through this stretch, and come out stronger. There will come a day, when you will look back on this part of your married life, and know it made you have a stronger bond, because you worked through it together. I hope you do, good luck! 

Of course, this is just my common, 2 cents worth. 

[laughingmoose]

6 hours ago, id0ntknow said:

This strikes me as odd a little bit. I know that just trying to "have no interest" in something is very hard after having a strong desire for it for so long. I know that from being a DL at least anyway. If sexual desires are similar to diaper desires, then I don't know if this statement from your wife is %100 true. Not meaning to bring any negativity, but just giving my 2 cents.

Excellent analogy. I brought this exact point up to her. She again, stated she couldn't explain it... but if I left her- she would 100% be with another man (but wouldn't want to loose me) she told me she was young when this happened... from 15-21 years old (Now she is 26) and it was a whole other lifetime ago. She explained it that she wasn't attached to woman, but attracted to this girl, emotionally and with that, physically as well- but only because she loved her and vice versa and that's all she ever knew was love from another girl at the time. 

I ask her questions all the time. Like does she like boobs (I do as a man, so I can only assume if she had attraction to her, she must too?) and so many other sexual questions. She admitted they had sex frequently, but it was a pleasure thing she enjoyed and pleasing her because she was emotionally attached to her.

I still don't understand. But... I have liked diapers since probably age 6-7. And yes, went 10 years without wearing one, or buying one until I had a car and money to buy some, but always had the attraction/fascination. Just a diaper lover, not a ABDL. I just enjoy wearing them. Thank you very much for your support and comments!

5 hours ago, Brutal said:

I don't want to seem like an insensative jerk, but I invariably will. Make sure the kid is actually yours... get one of those 23 & me fathers day DNA kits for $99. 

Cheaters don't change. Be careful because she will use your diaper fetish against you in court if the child is yours and you try to divorce her. She will say your fetish drove her to cheat.

If the kid isn't yours get the hell out now. Cause she will cheat again. By what you wrote, she didn't confess and repent. She got caught by emails in the trash folder she never thought you'd see. Guess she didn't empty the trash folder.

Now if being a diapered cuckold gets you hard, then hey stay with her. But staying around for the kid is pointless. You'll be telling your son it's okay to be with a wife that cheats on you.

There are plenty of women that are cool with the abdl lifestyle. I've dated half a dozen and married an AB girl.

You don't have to stay in the relationship because you think you will never find another person willing to accept your fetish. Trust me, there are people out there. Granted you have to be a pretty stellar guy, because you will be competing with accomplished, fit men with great careers. But I'd take my chances.

Hope things work out the way you want.

PS. Her lesbian desires didn't go away. People don't just stop being gay or bisexual. To be fair to her though, you waited until after you were married and had a kid to divulge your diaper secret. That's just as uncool bro.

I agree... they don't "go away" even when she tells me over and over she has ZERO interest and believes she is 100% straight right now and forever will be. I don't understand it at all. I am hoping our counselor will be able to help.

And let me clarify, she never, ever physically cheated. I believe her 100% on this, even though my trust for her is very gone. I do know this. And the kid, looks JUST LIKE ME. LOL. People would laugh at me on Maury!! Ha!

I wish she was very supportive of me and diapers... but even at 32, I still know it's a "strange" addiction--- because it is. But there are THOUSANDs of ABDL's and DL's in this country alone. So it can't be THAT strange.

5 hours ago, Brutal said:

 

 

[Wannatripbaby]

7 hours ago, id0ntknow said:

 I know that just trying to "have no interest" in something is very hard after having a strong desire for it for so long. I know that from being a DL at least anyway. If sexual desires are similar to diaper desires, then I don't know if this statement from your wife is %100 true

 

6 hours ago, Brutal said:

Her lesbian desires didn't go away. People don't just stop being gay or bisexual

Not true. I've seen people change MUCH more drastically than just their sexual preference. That's a common misconception. While it may be true that people cannot CHOOSE to change something like as big as sexuality the way that one might choose to give up alcohol or smoking, that doesn't mean it can't happen through other means. Usually through BIG life events.

Is she lying or telling the truth? Obviously I can't say for sure. But to say she MUST be lying because "nobody can change their desires" is foolish, ignorant, and dangerous to both of you.

[laughingmoose]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

 

Not true. I've seen people change MUCH more drastically than just their sexual preference. That's a common misconception. While it may be true that people cannot CHOOSE to change something like as big as sexuality the way that one might choose to give up alcohol or smoking, that doesn't mean it can't happen through other means. Usually through BIG life events.

Is she lying or telling the truth? Obviously I can't say for sure. But to say she MUST be lying because "nobody can change their desires" is foolish, ignorant, and dangerous to both of you.

Very well said.  Thank you for your support!!!

[Wannatripbaby]

14 minutes ago, laughingmoose said:

Very well said.  Thank you for your support!!!

No problem. I'm happy to help.

I genuinely believe that you and your wife can work through your problems. I personally know people from THIS VERY WEBSITE that have far worse marital problems than you. I don't say that to make light of your situation, not at all. Just putting things into perspective.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

49 minutes ago, laughingmoose said:

Very well said.  Thank you for your support!!!

My wife and I had to overcome a lot of intimate challenges when I first started to become a sissy baby and then transitioning into wearing diapers permanently.  Just as I asked her to accept me in diapers I had to accept she had needs sexually as a woman that the reality is I can not provide.  Does not mean we are not soulmates and that we do not have a wonderful marriage.  It takes a special kind of relationship to be successful without having any traditional sexual intercourse and it took my wife and I a lot of hardships and fights before we got there.  You can overcome this I promise you that with you both being happy.

[laughingmoose]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

No problem. I'm happy to help.

I genuinely believe that you and your wife can work through your problems. I personally know people from THIS VERY WEBSITE that have far worse marital problems than you. I don't say that to make light of your situation, not at all. Just putting things into perspective.

I told her I'd like for her to look up people who are diaper lovers... and I am sure she will be quite shocked. At first, I can totally understand you may seem like the only one interested in such a fetish... and I think that's the way she felt when I told her. But, I asked her to look it up sometimes and how many sites, and interests there is in it.

She is VERY embarrassed by her past. I am embarrassed about liking diapers. They are NIGHT and DAY differences and unlike being a lesbian for 6 years... this is something I didn't think I NEEDED to tell her before marriage, because it was just a here and then wearing a diaper in secret for a hour or two, maybe once a month, sometimes not even. Her being a lesbian just 4 years ago... for 6 years at a young age, I feel she should have told me.

We are working through it and honestly... becoming stronger. No more secrets. Small or big. THANK you. I love the comments.

[Wannatripbaby]

5 minutes ago, laughingmoose said:

She is VERY embarrassed by her past. I am embarrassed about liking diapers. They are NIGHT and DAY differences and unlike being a lesbian for 6 years... this is something I didn't think I NEEDED to tell her before marriage, because it was just a here and then wearing a diaper in secret for a hour or two, maybe once a month, sometimes not even. Her being a lesbian just 4 years ago... for 6 years at a young age, I feel she should have told me.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I think that's a very arbitrary attitude. If anything YOU were more in the wrong there because, while she hid something that was ancient history to her, you hid something you were Actively (albeit infrequently) doing.

[laughingmoose]

15 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I don't mean to be harsh, but I think that's a very arbitrary attitude. If anything YOU were more in the wrong there because, while she hid something that was ancient history to her, you hid something you were Actively (albeit infrequently) doing.

I'm not trying to be in a battle of this. I know I was wrong, by not ever saying anything... but mine has nothing to do with sexual past with another person. Or, emotionally cheating... but texting another guy 50+ times a day and keeping his contact info using a girls name... while we are married.

Respectfully.. you are 22 and not married. I don't feel as if others would agree with you, saying I am more in the wrong. Because I told her, I like to wear diapers sometimes... after I found out, that she was a lesbian for 6 years before we got married... and also, I found out that she was texting a guy for a year and a half, while we are married.

No offense... but that's not much of a therapist talk bro.

[Wannatripbaby]

7 minutes ago, laughingmoose said:

I'm not trying to be in a battle of this. I know I was wrong, by not ever saying anything... but mine has nothing to do with sexual past with another person. Or, emotionally cheating... but texting another guy 50+ times a day and keeping his contact info using a girls name... while we are married.

Respectfully.. you are 22 and not married. I don't feel as if others would agree with you, saying I am more in the wrong. Because I told her, I like to wear diapers sometimes... after I found out, that she was a lesbian for 6 years before we got married... and also, I found out that she was texting a guy for a year and a half, while we are married.

No offense... but that's not much of a therapist talk bro.

No offense taken.

really, part of why I said that was to gauge your reaction. You see, while I may agree that she was more in the wrong than you, hiding behind a victim mentality could harm you in the long run.

basically you have 2 options: try to fix your relationship or get a divorce. There is no in-between.

I want you to take a minute--just a minute--to think about that 2nd option. How does the idea of leaving her make you feel?

[laughingmoose]

Not even an option man. We are working on things. Becoming stronger. More honest. Closer.

But, I have some very hard, real times. Times I break down and I cry. I ask questions. She answers them. I can tell she is being honest now, because sometimes the questions I ask, are not the answers I want to hear- but the truth.

She is doing everything she can in my opinion to work on us. Even tried on a diaper for me... major turn on. Even though she wasn't interested, but she did it for me. 

I couldn't live without her. She said the same... we just needed a more honest line of communication... resulting in we will be stronger. 

 

[Wannatripbaby]

7 minutes ago, laughingmoose said:

I couldn't live without her. She said the same... we just needed a more honest line of communication... resulting in we will be stronger

That's all I wanted to hear.

Don't worry, Moose. You 2 are gonna be just fine. And while you do have some tough times ahead of you, I firmly believe that the joy that comes after will FAR outweigh the pain you're feeling now. ♡♡♡

[laughingmoose]

Thank you!  I know we will be OK too. And stronger than ever before. I hate it took all this to become stronger, but we will be and even though it's only been a few weeks and I still have lots of struggle and pain, my good days are great and I feel more close to my wife than ever before. 

[Bettypooh]

Every relationship takes work, and as long as you're both working on keeping it going then you can make that happen.

Though it may seem like I'm starting the obvious, please give this some deeper thought- girls are very different. When the sexual part of their body and soul gets turned on they cannot stop themselves and if that act ends with great pleasure the next time becomes easier. I don't know how her initial lesbian act came about, but when we're younger we all will try things; sometines they stay and sometimes they go away. She will always be less resistant to lesbian sex but believe me, she doesn't have to do that if you've filled the sexual role with her adequately. And though it's rare, sexual orientation does sometimes change, so someone's past doesn't always set their future in stone. If she says she doesn't want to be with any girls ever again, that could very well be true.

Strength is built with the overcoming of adversity together. If she wants to be with a girl or you want to wear a diaper and you can talk through that before it happens, strength is built and love enhanced in knowing more fully that no matter what, you can trust and believe in your soulmate. You've both got reasons to end things but you're not doing that. It seems to me that your story will have a great ending even if the road is rocky today. Hold onto each other tight, hold nothing back, and keep going. No lies, no dishonesty, no unreasonable limits from either side. There is a way forward together if you both want that badly enough and though it doesn't look or feel this way right now, this could be the hallmark moment of your relationship where the inseperable bond you two should have comes to complete fruition.  

Best wishes for you both!