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dlsafrica

Sexuality Expert Opinion

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Probably shouldn't give the crazies a platform.

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Hmmm...I'd say that since it is unhealthy and unsanitary to sit around in a soiled diaper, that consent is automatically given.

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By legal definition a minor is unable to give consent, which is why adults are placed in charge of them.

Of course this is also the same nutcase who advocated breastfeeding your kids well into their teens.

Also, be wary of any advice coming from someone with pink hair.

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In reference to the one comment, is the implication that I'm a crazy? I was simply sharing a news item..

In retrospect, maybe the title of the topic should have been "Consent to Change"?

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I don't think that anybody is implying that you, specifically, are crazy. The comment, "Also, be wary of any advice coming from someone with pink hair", when taken to be a general statement to the population, is not a direct attack on your sanity. While I don't specifically agree with that statement (my wife has parple hair, and is going to go pink for the summer, and also is a nationally known subject matter expert in her field of art history), I can understand not taking advice for this particular brand of crazy person. If I posted something like "look at what this crazy posted on the internet" and then people implied that I was like that just because I posted it, that wouldn't make sense. 

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3 hours ago, dlsafrica said:

In reference to the one comment, is the implication that I'm a crazy? I was simply sharing a news item..

In retrospect, maybe the title of the topic should have been "Consent to Change"?

My comment was regarding the person in the news story, not you :)

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1 hour ago, warpiper said:

While I don't specifically agree with that statement (my wife has parple hair, and is going to go pink for the summer, and also is a nationally known subject matter expert in her field of art history

Artists and art teachers can get away with more... colorful... styles than the rest of us can. I should know, I married one. 

That being said, artists typically aren't giving advice on sexuality and child rearing either.

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I know there are already some fairly significant issues for doctors around minors' needing to consent to medical procedures (for e.g. having a vaccination or a blood test). Even if the parents agree, if the child is refusing emphatically, it can be ethically very difficult to force them. There was a case a few years ago regarding an underage girl with life-threatening (but not yet necessarily terminal) cancer, who wanted to stop chemotherapy against the wishes of her parents, and ultimately had a court rule in her favour, I believe (despite this, as I recall, she later chose herself to resume chemo, and actually went on to survive). So there is a precedent to consider issues around consent from children (obviously weighed up, with a degree of common sense, against their best interests).

Having read the articles myself, I think the media have somewhat misrepresented what the woman was trying to say. I don't think she was arguing that babies and toddlers should be allowed to choose whether or not to have dirty diapers changed, rather that parents should raise their children with an understanding that they had a right to be asked before somebody touched them intimately, and that should happen right from infancy. Now, a baby isn't going to give a response, but in the same way as I might say 'right, can I have that please' before taking a rattle away from them, just to be polite, there's no reason not to say 'alright sweetie, is it okay if I wipe your bum?' - which will slowly be instilled in the child as they grow up (rather than ever thinking any adult has an automatic right to touch them intimately). With a toddler who was communicative, I wouldn't allow them to refuse to have their diaper changed, but if they emphatically didn't want me to clean them, it might be possible to offer alternatives such as 'so are you going to try and wipe yourself then?' or 'well, we'll have to clean you in the shower, then.' So, yes - while the woman in question obviously is somewhat leaning towards the 'pink haired' stereotype - I don't think the point she's trying to make is as crazy as all that - even if a little impractical if taken to literal extremes.

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7 hours ago, warpiper said:

I don't think that anybody is implying that you, specifically, are crazy. The comment, "Also, be wary of any advice coming from someone with pink hair", when taken to be a general statement to the population, is not a direct attack on your sanity. While I don't specifically agree with that statement (my wife has parple hair, and is going to go pink for the summer, and also is a nationally known subject matter expert in her field of art history), I can understand not taking advice for this particular brand of crazy person. If I posted something like "look at what this crazy posted on the internet" and then people implied that I was like that just because I posted it, that wouldn't make sense. 

and Elfy --- thankyou for clarifying. I am a little sensitive because I have been shouted at for sharing certain things and opinions here before.

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Even with the back peddling (and I'm not seeing anything in snopes or elsewhere talking about older children), I don't a agree with it.

Asking children if they consent to things is something there is far too much of and children end up thinking that life's basics are optional for them.

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I agree with RS682. I don't think anyone is pushing for a "yes, please change me" response from a newborn before changing, but I do believe teaching kids early in life that they should learn the concept of consent. 

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Even if you go back to what the so-called pink haired expert said, I don't buy it.   There are certain things that should not be negotiable.    I've seen in my family the obstinate, troublesome kids that come from "asking" kids if they want to do basic things they are required to do:   brush their teeth, wash their hands, use the toilet...

I also think it doesn't do any good equating the excretory functions to sexuality.   That's the kind of thing that causes odd behaviors later on (and perhaps even a number we experience).

 

I have an adult nephew that to this day has severe issues based on goofy parenting like this.    The kid refused to get out of diapers until well into the school age.   I found it amusing that my sister in law was complaining that she kept falling into ABDL sites while trying to find diapers for her snowflake.

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Even with Snopes dialing down the hysteria, it’s still a fairly wacky idea in my opinion.

Australia is a pretty weird place right now in terms of off-the-wall social narratives being shoved down it’s citizens throats by fringe interests and minorities that seem to have all the air-time.  Add that to the victim-culture and rampant nanny state thing going on and I’m really starting to wonder just why I’m still here.  Must be the clean air, stunning beauty and great climate.  It’s sure not the country's never ending conga line of "experts" pushing "advice".

On 5/30/2018 at 11:35 PM, willnotwill said:

I have an adult nephew that to this day has severe issues based on goofy parenting like this.    The kid refused to get out of diapers until well into the school age.   I found it amusing that my sister in law was complaining that she kept falling into ABDL sites while trying to find diapers for her snowflake.

Yep, seen this.  There's a bit of a thing going one where it's frowned upon to actually manage children but deeply fashionable to sit around pathologising the anti-social outcomes.  Even better if you can get some kind of Government benefit for the "disability".

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On 6/1/2018 at 8:10 PM, oznl said:

Even with Snopes dialing down the hysteria, it’s still a fairly wacky idea in my opinion.

Australia is a pretty weird place right now in terms of off-the-wall social narratives being shoved down it’s citizens throats by fringe interests and minorities that seem to have all the air-time.  Add that to the victim-culture and rampant nanny state thing going on and I’m really starting to wonder just why I’m still here.  Must be the clean air, stunning beauty and great climate.  It’s sure not the country's never ending conga line of "experts" pushing "advice".

It's not just Down Under... it's everywhere.

Did you hear of the 30-something year old guy who took his parents to court because they tried to kick him out of the house and make him live on his own as an adult?

Children are born ignorant and lazy, it is up to parents to train them up in the way they should live... and that requires using a firm hand at times.

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