Fight against incontinence?

[Guilyn]

I remember @Bettypooh having a tread like this before but it seems a bit different when your the one having to choose.  I'll try to make this short and clean.  Over the last three weeks now I've started to become incontinent, so much so that my boss noticed and I'm now wearing diapers to work.  I have always thought about going full time but it was more of a dream or idea then something I would go out and try to do.  I don't know what's causing it so I will need to see a doctor but that leads to the topics name.  As I'm starting to become incontinent should I fight to hold onto my control or just let it go?  I could always wear full time and retain control claiming incontinence but that feel dishonest to me.  The reason I find this a hard choice is I tend to be very pragmatic.  When I started losing my hair at 25 and got an ever increasing bald spot I shaved my head bald, I can fight against nature or go with it.  

[dlsafrica]

Around three years ago, I experimented with just relaxing my muscles at all times and not practising controlling release. It made me feel very awkward and self-conscious and I didn't like it at all. Maybe it comes down to how strongly you personally feel about it.

[Bettypooh]

12 hours ago, Guilyn said:

I can fight against nature or go with it.  

We each have our own 'nature' so go with yours. There are no wrong choices if you do that I'm glad you're seeing a Doctor for this; your health matters and something is definitely going on to bring this much change to your urinary habits.

Much like you seem to be, I have a deep strong aversion to deceit  But I also have a strong emotional need to wear diapers, and I know that being totally honest about that would do harm to me and those who care about me. I'm stuck with handling this somehow and as much as I want to be honest I must not harm others unnecessarily either. So what do I do? For most folks, my simply telling them "I need diapers" is enough and that's honest too because I do need them, just not in the way they will think I have said I do. The real issue for me are those closest to me; that little "game" won't cut it for me with them. Luckily I haven't had to go there yet and I hope I never do. But their feelings are still going to be involved and I'm still obligated to not hurting them.

I'm a big believer in fate, and my fate in life was to have a terrible time gaining urinary continence when I was young. My family knows that history so fate has given me an "out". I can tell them that as they know it's always been a problem with me and now it seems to have returned forever which I am OK with. My friends will need to be told of that history first- then I think they will understand  You're in a similar place- you have lost continence physically, those around you know that, and you can choose to keep wearing from now on even if that physical problem gets fixed. Fate has given you and me a chance which many ABDL's would love to have- a valid excuse to wear diapers which others can understand

So what is your nature here? Are you OK with living out an essentially harmless lie to gain your best happiness without hurting others, or will that bit of deceit make you less happy in the end? Or are you strong enough to bare your soul and the full truth that you simply like wearing diapers knowing that someone will surely get hurt over that, especially you? Only you can answer that for yourself; just remember that there are no inherently wrong answers because this is your nature and your life we're discussing, not mine or anyone else's. Do what feels right to you

Bettypooh

 

[dlnoir]

5 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

We each have our own 'nature' so go with yours. There are no wrong choices if you do that I'm glad you're seeing a Doctor for this; your health matters and something is definitely going on to bring this much change to your urinary habits.

Much like you seem to be, I have a deep strong aversion to deceit  But I also have a strong emotional need to wear diapers, and I know that being totally honest about that would do harm to me and those who care about me. I'm stuck with handling this somehow and as much as I want to be honest I must not harm others unnecessarily either. So what do I do? For most folks, my simply telling them "I need diapers" is enough and that's honest too because I do need them, just not in the way they will think I have said I do. The real issue for me are those closest to me; that little "game" won't cut it for me with them. Luckily I haven't had to go there yet and I hope I never do. But their feelings are still going to be involved and I'm still obligated to not hurting them.

I'm a big believer in fate, and my fate in life was to have a terrible time gaining urinary continence when I was young. My family knows that history so fate has given me an "out". I can tell them that as they know it's always been a problem with me and now it seems to have returned forever which I am OK with. My friends will need to be told of that history first- then I think they will understand  You're in a similar place- you have lost continence physically, those around you know that, and you can choose to keep wearing from now on even if that physical problem gets fixed. Fate has given you and me a chance which many ABDL's would love to have- a valid excuse to wear diapers which others can understand

So what is your nature here? Are you OK with living out an essentially harmless lie to gain your best happiness without hurting others, or will that bit of deceit make you less happy in the end? Or are you strong enough to bare your soul and the full truth that you simply like wearing diapers knowing that someone will surely get hurt over that, especially you? Only you can answer that for yourself; just remember that there are no inherently wrong answers because this is your nature and your life we're discussing, not mine or anyone else's. Do what feels right to you

Bettypooh

Clouldn't agree more absolutely spot on.

[Guilyn]

I don''t know how much is TMI given that this is a diaper fetish site but it's not just urinary.  Also just learned today that there has been incontinence in our family that I never knew about until now.  I don't talk to my extended family much but it was a surprise to say the least.  will have to see what the doctor says and go from there.

[Craisler]

Seeing what the doctor finds and the doctor recommends is probably your best course. Incontinence is a symptom not an illness. You need to know what is causing the problem. Once that is known, you can then decide how to proceed. 

[Darkfinn]

At the ripe old age of 31 you really shouldn't be having any continence problems. That being said, going to the doctor is totally up to you. The incontinence could be a sign of something worse happening, prostate cancer, etc... so you might want to go get checked out even if you decide not to pursue treatment for it.

[Guilyn]

That was my first thought Darkfinn.  I remember TotalBiscuit having every similar bowel problems and learned later it was cancer.  If it's cancer I have bigger problems to deal with.

[IdoPiddleSome2]

(I've been away for a while)

I'm the flavor of Pee-loving "Adult-Toddler" some tend to dismiss as fictional; in August 2002 I was hospitalized with what proved to be a severe Prostate-infection. I remember timing my Fever/chills cycles as I lay on that wheeled ironing-board-with-safety-rails in the ER: ~15 minutes from sweating profusely to shaking with chills & back again. I was THAT ill while waiting for whatever came next. Making a longer story shorter--home from that adventure, I discovered I'd become an Involuntary-Piddler. My urinary system was surprising me on my way TO a bathroom at times, and/or as I zipped-up after BELIEVING I'd finished urinating. At times these surprises were only enough to SHOW that I'd wet my pants; at times they were a bit more. NEVER was my reaction negative; I realized I was being "Pantsed" by my Bladder & it only delighted me. I realized I needed to start buying Adult-DIAPERS & only felt excitement at buying them OTC.

(full-disclosure: Prior to my medical adventure in '02, I *had* toyed with Pee-games, as far back as the 1970s. I knew I had an appetite for those, & for stripping-games/stripping-predicaments. While I was in the Navy I had to be careful, so my Pee-Sexuality had nowhere to live but my mind, most of the time, until mid-1989. But I did have clues I might like it a LOT; at the age of 52 in 2002 it struck me what an interesting {to me} sum of my fantasies I found as my new reality).

My 2002 adventure also got me busted for Type-2 Diabetes. I remember being weighed during check-in (wearing only shorts, T-shirt & sandals) & hearing someone say "262 Pounds." So I was moved from just being-aware I was fat--to realizing I might be lugging a wee bit too much ME around & needing to examine that. But I discovered thus I didn't hate my Belly, any more than I hated wetting-myself. Instead, I regarded my Belly (out there like a massive BOOB) and my Bladder as NAUGHTY-PLAYMATES; always out to expose me in various ways. I'd only imagined myself pissing like a baby due to post-hypnotic "magic-words" I would neither recognize nor remember--but PEE without control after my Wife whispered them in my ear (regardless of time, place, or circumstances). Whether my Belly was pushing my pants down & shirt up or my Bladder was surprising me with WET PANTS--beginning in August 2002 these exposure/predicament events had only become REAL instead of fantasies and I refuse to pretend they distressed me.

I discovered, by degrees, whatever the pathogen was, it had an appetite for nerve-tissues. The damage healed with my sexual & urinary 'wiring-harnesses' communicating as they had not, before. To any extent "Mind-Over-Matter" may truly play a role, I only found my newly Playful, Easily-excited Bladder a delight. Trying to hold my Pee resulted in "PEE-GASMS" that originated differently but were intense; bladder-spasms that might yield VERY wet pants & shirt if I was driving. Now at 68-y-o (& looking every day of it), I'm more likely to be PRESUMED just-another-pants-wetting-old-poot, should I be seen getting out of my car with obviously pissy clothes from navel to knees (unless I'm still gasping & grinning). I've yet to address the medical cliché ("suffer-from-incontinence©") by saying "No, I'm enjoying it!" But I have made it clear (to Doctors/Nurses using the phrase) that I do not count it a thing I "suffer;" only a part of life. Best regards, all. Hope I've not exceeded the word-limit.

[stevewet]

On 5/13/2018 at 2:04 AM, Guilyn said:

I remember @Bettypooh having a tread like this before but it seems a bit different when your the one having to choose.  I'll try to make this short and clean.  Over the last three weeks now I've started to become incontinent, so much so that my boss noticed and I'm now wearing diapers to work.  I have always thought about going full time but it was more of a dream or idea then something I would go out and try to do.  I don't know what's causing it so I will need to see a doctor but that leads to the topics name.  As I'm starting to become incontinent should I fight to hold onto my control or just let it go?  I could always wear full time and retain control claiming incontinence but that feel dishonest to me.  The reason I find this a hard choice is I tend to be very pragmatic.  When I started losing my hair at 25 and got an ever increasing bald spot I shaved my head bald, I can fight against nature or go with it.  

When I became incontinent I just gave up fighting with my bladder control and switched to nappies all the time. My wife supported me in this decision and to be honest life is so much easier. I am not going to encourage you either way as it must be your decision. Al I can say is for me it was the right thing to do.

[Guilyn]

Thank you all for your responses and I guess I should give an update since I went to the doctor.  I have over the last two weeks been mostly bowel incontinent though I have also been wetting my diaper than trying to pull it down to use the toilet. The good news is it’s nothing life threatening. No cancer, diabetes, chromes and so on so that’s a big plus since TotalBiscuit just died from colon cancer.   It seems I have a weak sphincter for some reason and being overweight is putting pressure on my bowels so when I twist or move and there is anything in my bowels its voided due to the weak sphincter.  The hope is losing weight will cause my control to return. This morning I weighed in at 250 LB (113kg) which means in the 8 weeks of my diet I have lost 35lbs but a normal weight for my height is around 160lb.  After so long in diapers full time I have gotten use to it and it’s strange to not have one on. I will say it has had an interesting effect on me mentally, I’m able to focus more since I’m not looking at the clock wondering when I can go home and get diaper for fun.  I will have to keep feeling things out but at the moment I could be this being perminate without much issue.  

[Subjace]

Very happy to hear that it isn't something serious. Awesome job on the weight lost so far!

[Bettypooh]

I don't place a lot of belief in 'weight vs height' as we all are shaped differently. Some of us 'carry' extra weight past the recommended level well while some don't. I'm 'average' in that regard; my 'male weight' should be about 165, my 'female' weight about 150- unfortunately I'm well past both of those but not to a degree than my health is affected though my ego takes a beating when I think about it or look in the mirror  IMHO that should be the baseline, not height or gender/sex. Everyone should be a healthy weight, and if you are satisfied with your appearance then this is not overweight at all, regardless of what the medical world has to say about it  

Bladder control is your choice- have it if you want it, but you don't really need it medically or in any other way than emotionally. If you're going to wear diapers anyway, there's even less of a need to be concerned with it. Experiment with it if you want to; after that it will be clear what you really want and you'll have a good idea of what it will do in your life   As long as you're following your heart there are no bad choices or wrong answers regarding bladder control 

Bettypooh

[Guilyn]

On 6/3/2018 at 8:09 AM, Bettypooh said:

I don't place a lot of belief in 'weight vs height' as we all are shaped differently. Some of us 'carry' extra weight past the recommended level well while some don't. I'm 'average' in that regard; my 'male weight' should be about 165, my 'female' weight about 150- unfortunately I'm well past both of those but not to a degree than my health is affected though my ego takes a beating when I think about it or look in the mirror  IMHO that should be the baseline, not height or gender/sex. Everyone should be a healthy weight, and if you are satisfied with your appearance then this is not overweight at all, regardless of what the medical world has to say about it  

Bladder control is your choice- have it if you want it, but you don't really need it medically or in any other way than emotionally. If you're going to wear diapers anyway, there's even less of a need to be concerned with it. Experiment with it if you want to; after that it will be clear what you really want and you'll have a good idea of what it will do in your life   As long as you're following your heart there are no bad choices or wrong answers regarding bladder control 

Bettypooh

I will say it hasn’t really been bladder control that has been my issue it’s bowel, thus I soil myself a few times a day. In many ways bladder control would be easier and is much more common.  That being said I do wet most of my diapers but that’s mostly the practical side of me coming out.  I know I’m wearing a diaper and going to soil myself so why waste all my time trying to slide down my diaper to pee when I’m wearing a toilet?  I can stay in a wet diaper for hours but a messy diaper I want to change ASAP.  So far Being in diapers full time isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I just have to keep my diaper bag with me and I’m fine.