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wearing around my wife


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Hey, haven't posted here in years, but I used to post every now and again and remember really liking the community here.  So almost exactly one year ago my abdl fetish/lifestyle/desires/hobby/whatever changed.  I became acutely interested in cross dressing, and less so in abdl.  I got into makeup, dresses, bras, panties, I even bought some silcon breasts.  I also just more or less told my wife I was doing this and didn't even bother trying to hide it like I did diapers for years.  Now I never dressed up in front of her, but I did start wearing panties almost all the time.  She was mostly supportive, and sometimes actually really enjoyed it.  She even bought me girly clothes for CHristmas.   

About six months ago I started losing interest in dressing up.  Work was stressing me out, and it took so much time to do.  During this whole time I would occasionally wear a diaper but often it had more to do with the how it enlarged my rear, and I never had much interest in being little.

Well in the last month it's been creeping back and lately I've been diaper obsessed. In fact I've been wearing diapers alot around my wife, even though she doesn't approve of them.  I'm blown away by how easy they are to hide, one day I wore diapers all day and changed several times without her noticing.  

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I completely understand the undeniable "need" to be in a diaper particularly when you are stressed out.  Doing so behind your wife's back can dramatically backfire on you however.  If you think she is unapproving now what will she feel when she catches you wearing one?  My wife too was unaccepting at one time.  Instead of being deceitful I openly communicated my desires and needs for being in diapers and eventually love found a way.  I honestly think it is better for you to let her know you are going to wear diapers and her not approve than to do so behind her back.  Then the monkey in the room has to be addressed so to speak and you are forced to communicate with one another.

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I have to agree with Mark.  I've been in nappies just about all the time for the past year, except when I'm with my wife.  She now knows that and has accepted it.  Wearing when I'm with her is different from with anyone else.  She says I've to wait until September, when our daughter goes off to college.  Then we'll see how she can get on with me wearing when I'm with her - it's a big step for her, a much smaller one for me.  I wouldn't insist on wearing when I'm with her, as she isn't comfortable with that as yet.  If she knows, that will upset her, & if she doesn't know, that's deceiving the person I love most in the world.

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I wish in my case I would have been able to compromise with my wife more concerning wearing diapers.  She ultimately ended up sacrificing her entire sexual being so that I could live my life wearing diapers permanently.  In the long run it has worked out great for both of us because I am in a much happier place which in turn has truthfully made our relationship a lot better.  Although my desires to wear diapers was to overwhelming for me to stop wearing them or to even comprimise with my wife by wearing diapers only part time being honest with her was finally what allowed my wife to accept me wearing them.  Basically I confided in her that I need to be in them, now and forever and those desires will never go away.  Through communication she was able to understand why I needed to be diapered all the time and actually took the time to research our lifestyle and she soon realized that it was not as simple as just declaring I give my diapers up.

You and your wife's relationship may be completely different.  Only you know how strong your diaper desires are and only you know how your wife reacts to those desires.  Not every woman is built to be able to mentally deal with their "man" wearing diapers.  My question to you is how does it make you feel wearing diapers behind your wife's back?

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12 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

I completely understand the undeniable "need" to be in a diaper particularly when you are stressed out

I'm actually the opposite, when things calm down for me I find the interest returning.  When I've got alot going on and there is no end in sight I just don't seem to have it.  

My wife knows that I still have diapers hidden and she assumes I wear them sometimes.  She saw me looking at pictures of people in diapers the other day and said, "I thought you were done with that,"  I said, "Yeah so did I."  That was it.

When I was truthful with her about cross dressing it greatly strengthened our relationship, but I think wearing diapers is just something she can't accept.

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7 hours ago, diaperchucky said:

I'm actually the opposite, when things calm down for me I find the interest returning.  When I've got alot going on and there is no end in sight I just don't seem to have it.  

My wife knows that I still have diapers hidden and she assumes I wear them sometimes.  She saw me looking at pictures of people in diapers the other day and said, "I thought you were done with that,"  I said, "Yeah so did I."  That was it.

When I was truthful with her about cross dressing it greatly strengthened our relationship, but I think wearing diapers is just something she can't accept.

It is interesting that she accepted your cross dressing but is not accepting of you in diapers.  I went through a period of cross dressing where I wore panties and maxipads everyday.  It honestly was a substitute for diapers but wearing panties got me intouch with my feminine side and I turned into a complete sissy.  My wife at the time did not accept the panties or the diapers.  She wanted to be married to a "man" not a woman or little girl.

What is it about you wearing diapers she does not accept if you do not mind me asking?  Do you have children?

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It is with my wife’s blessing and insistence that I now wear diapers all the time. 

As she knew of my desire to wear diapers from the start. We talked about my diaper desires and how I wanted to need to wear diapers all the time. 2 years into our marriage I got has a serious back injury and decided it was a good time to start wearing diapers all the time. After a few months my wife said we needed to talk again about me wearing diapers, so we talked at length about my wanting to need to wear diapers and now that I had been wearing diapers all the time I seem to be wetting them more often, I said it was getting harder to keep from wetting my diapers the more I wore them. I said that if I continued to wear diapers I just might loose control of my bladder and actually need to wear diapers. She said she was thinking the same thing and asked me if it was what I really wanted. I told her I would cut back wearing diapers if she wanted me to. She stunned me by saying she liked the idea of me wearing diapers and actually needing to wear them. I asked her if she’d be upset if I did loose control of my bladder , she said no she wouldn’t and thought it would be an actual good thing that way I would always be in a diaper. 

This stunned me and I had to asked her if she wanted me to be wearing diapers, she smiled at me and said yes, I did not know what to say. I told her I’d let her decide if I should continue wearing diapers and if she really wanted me to wear them to toss out all my underwear, she just replied you don’t have any underwear to wear anymore anyhow so it’s just diapers from now on. I gave her a big hug and kiss. 

So my wanting to need to wear diapers and my wife’s wanting me to need to wear diapers all that time ago now has me in diapers full time with no control of my bladder and when I’m not at work I am to make full use of my diapers which I happily do. It puts a huge smile on my wife’s face each and every time she notices I have wet and messed my diaper. 

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11 hours ago, iluvmydiapers said:

It is with my wife’s blessing and insistence that I now wear diapers all the time. 

As she knew of my desire to wear diapers from the start. We talked about my diaper desires and how I wanted to need to wear diapers all the time. 2 years into our marriage I got has a serious back injury and decided it was a good time to start wearing diapers all the time. After a few months my wife said we needed to talk again about me wearing diapers, so we talked at length about my wanting to need to wear diapers and now that I had been wearing diapers all the time I seem to be wetting them more often, I said it was getting harder to keep from wetting my diapers the more I wore them. I said that if I continued to wear diapers I just might loose control of my bladder and actually need to wear diapers. She said she was thinking the same thing and asked me if it was what I really wanted. I told her I would cut back wearing diapers if she wanted me to. She stunned me by saying she liked the idea of me wearing diapers and actually needing to wear them. I asked her if she’d be upset if I did loose control of my bladder , she said no she wouldn’t and thought it would be an actual good thing that way I would always be in a diaper. 

This stunned me and I had to asked her if she wanted me to be wearing diapers, she smiled at me and said yes, I did not know what to say. I told her I’d let her decide if I should continue wearing diapers and if she really wanted me to wear them to toss out all my underwear, she just replied you don’t have any underwear to wear anymore anyhow so it’s just diapers from now on. I gave her a big hug and kiss. 

So my wanting to need to wear diapers and my wife’s wanting me to need to wear diapers all that time ago now has me in diapers full time with no control of my bladder and when I’m not at work I am to make full use of my diapers which I happily do. It puts a huge smile on my wife’s face each and every time she notices I have wet and messed my diaper. 

I must say you certainly are one of the lucky ones.  I thought my wife was understanding and accepting but you my Sir are living in diaper heaven.  

My heart breaks for those that are not accepted by their significant other.  I do know what it feels like and it is extremely emotional and challenging.  Things can change for the better so never give up hope.  Love can and does find ways sometimes.

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I wear around my wife all the time not her thing but accepts it.

wear around my step daughter too. step daughter starting to wear all the time to.

shes 41 and has med prob.

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My wife has really came around to me wearing diapers , I don't do it all the time but when the need is felt I can just tape one on ,she will even diaper me but won't do any changes out of a wet diaper. Maybe one day but I won't push it .

We are really still in the beginning stages but so far so good ,just taking things slow and easy .

The last time I need to buy more diapers and she found out that you could buy them with prints , that's what we had to order . No more plain white diapers for her man baby !

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's interesting to hear everyone's different perspective.  in pushing the envelope of my experiment I recently wore for a full day shopping trip.  Again she never noticed.  I could tell I was starting to leak a bit on the drive home, and when I looked in a mirror I had noticable wetness around the rear edges of the diaper, still you'd really have to be looking to see it.  

I also ordered some Crinklz this week and had them sent to Walgreens with Fedex.  I've been feeling kind of bad about it, and I know she would freak out if she knew I spent 60 dollars on diapers.  I've been working overtime and have plenty of extra money, so its not a problem, still she just finds it a huge waste.  

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I feel that you're on the path to big problems but I'm not new to this rodeo of life. You're going to do what you want to do no matter what anyone else says- that's simply human nature :rolleyes: And there may be some truth in what an old GF told me about humans all being self-destructive :whistling:  So all I can do is send wishes for no serious consequences to be found in your journey.

Bettypooh

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As someone who wears for need at night I've certainly worn around my wife.  I totally understand the part about being obsessed with diapers.  I want to wear as much as possible.  My wife understands and approves of my diaper wearing to bed but has told me that she doesn't want me to wear around her.   Sometimes though if I've been wearing around the house and she comes home from work I am loathe to take them off.  A few times I tested the water and continued to wear once she got home, very discreetly.  She never had a clue.  During the day I've switched to a cloth backed diaper so there is less noise which helps it to be stealthy.  I don't think she'd get too mad if she found out and just tell me to take them off.   Everyone's relationship is different so you need to be careful not to offend her or harm the trust between you.

 

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Honesty is pretty much the best path here. It's scary true, but it's never a good idea to hide this kind of thing in a marriage. Plus, it sucks to have to hide. I spent a long time thinking I would never be accepted, and hiding gets old. You need to be honest and try to get a compromise. I wish you luck.

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Well I'm not really hiding it, I mean she knows where my diapers and stuff are.  This comes and goes for me.  I've been out of it for the last 6 months.  She was actually accepting of my cross dressing and dabbling with makeup, wigs, and clothes, but never would accept abdl.  What I am hiding was that I was wearing around her.  

I do appreciate the advice that I'm possibly engaging in self destructive activity, though this is far from our first rodeo either, we've been dealing with this for 20 years.  

The thing that blew my mind is that for all these years I've never worn around her and when I started doing it she couldn't tell, 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Life is too short to keep the diaper genie in the bottle.  Many years ago I just had an open conversation with my wife, and was very matter of fact:  I was going to wear diapers whenever I wanted.  Approval was not something I needed from her.

I bristle at the notion of needing “permission” from a spouse/partner for anything.  

Now, I do “respect limits”, and don’t try to get frisky when padded, or poop myself and sit sound stinking up the kitchen like I might if she was traveling.  It’s MY underwear, not hers.  And she’s equally free to be herself around me, and asserts her identity in her ways as well.

Stand up people, you’ll probably find you’ll be respected for being you, as opposed to being second guessed and questioned for your hiding and sneakiness.

 

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