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Should I ask my ABDL friend to be my roommate?


padded_husky

Question

I have a friend who currently lives in Chicago, IL but is wanting to move back to Ohio. We first met at a local furry convention and seems to connect so I messaged him after the convention and we've been great friends ever since! He use to live here in Ohio (about 30-45 min from where I live.) In which we use to hang out all the time. I would say twice s month and it would be an entire weekend. I would come over and crash at his place over the weekend. We would watch TV, play video games, get food...etc. Hes a furry who (up until recently) was not into diapers but thought dispers where cute and didn't mind other people having the interest(I say up until recently because hes recently admitted to liking diapers himself and now wears on occasion). So I would come over and since he was the only person I knew locally (or know even now) who was so comfortable with me being padded that I would usually be padded the entire weekend! Sometimes I would just hang out at his place in pajamas and a diaper or just a t shirt and a diaper. Things did get a little frisky at times where the relationship did get physical. We would snuggle and watch TV all the time and obviously things got a bit sexual at times. 

Eventually he got a job offer he couldn't refuse and moved to Chicago where our relationship took a bit of a left turn. Since he now lives so far, we don't hang out (considering it's now a 6 hour drive) and we don't chat as much since it's hard fo keep in touch with people when they have a bit of distance. He seems to be very unhappy and depressed a lot. While his job is going VERY well, things are not going very well socially. Hes finding it difficult to make friends with people there and connecting with any one. I know he is lonely living there in spite how well his job is going. Hes expressed interest several times over the past year in moving back (in spite the fact he just resigned his lease a few months ago). 

I have considered asking him if he did move back, if he would be interested in rooming together but I'm hesitant in doing so for multiple reasons. We have talked about shared feelings, in which one of us have stronger feelings then the other and its complicated. He has shared that he has strong feelings for me and wanted to date officially. However I had told him that I did not have those same feelings and was not looking to settle down. The fact is, while I really enjoy his company and I do care about him, I actually have REALLY strong feelings for someone else who I've known for 7 years. So knowing that I have stronger feelings for someone else going in (feelings that WAY stronger and will go no where by the way because he is catholic and only interested in a relationship with women after marriage. Inspite the fact that we still have a semi physical relationship... but that's a whole bother complicated story... lol) I feel like its unfair to date someone knowing they are not or will probably never be number 1.  I'm also not ready to settle down officially and date monogamously because I feel like I haven't met enough people to really know what I want. My dating experience is still pretty small and I find myself wanting to flirt with people and not be locked down yet to one person, mainly because I know what kind of feelings I'm capable of sharing. So it's a bit complicated on my side because of my own issues. 

I currently live with 2 other friends (who are also furries but DEFINITELY do not share an interest in diapers. While they know if my interests and respect my interests they definitely don't want any involvement in it, including seeing anything or hearing anything so my ability to wear at home is limited. Also, their  both hoarders, one is super messy and the other is just negative all the time. In fact, the one friend just got fired because of his attitude. Luckily he is amazing at saving money and so I have no worries financially about him making rent or anything but I just think I would be happier either alone or maybe sharing an apartment with someone who might not be so freaked out about diapers. I've thought about asking my friend from Chicago If he wanted to be roommates considering he moves back to Ohio but I'm hesitant because of our previous relationship and feelings becoming an issue. I think it would be really great being room mates and I would enjoy living with him but I also know he still has feelings for me (not to say I don't like him either) and I know that its Inevitable for things to get physical. Also, I know that I'm gonna want to still flirt and date other people and maybe do things with other people and that makes me hesitate on asking him to be my roommate. So I'm not sure I'd it's a good idea. Should I ask my friend from Chicago to get an apartment together as friends? 

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I'm going to say that it wouldn't be a good idea considering the feelings you have described from both sides. It sounds to me like one or both of you will get hurt. 

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I agree with Puppyz. Relationships are always in motion. And since your relationship with eachother cannot move forward, the only other option is for it to move backwards. Not "backwards" as in the way it used to be, but "backwards" as in in a direction you should not be going!

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It might be good for you both, if you do invite him. But, I think you both should be very clear, and up front, first and foremost, on all issues concerning the both of you. All you feelings, wants, needs, should be laid out on the table. Everything needs to be put out there, so there are no misunderstandings, or misinterpretations. You both want to know, where you both stand, and what you expect of each other, in all aspects. I hope it can help you figure things, and good luck. 

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