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Attached is a fake screenshot I made.  And nope, not telling strangers my magical technique to making it, sorry.  D:

 

The game is to finish writing the article, after the point where it says "Please complete the article."  Try to make it silly but sound like a news article please.  :D

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Several petitions have been made to require members of Congress to have a required bedtime of 8:00 pm and mandatory vegetable consumption with each meal

 

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A petition has been launched at Change.org listing a number of proposed changes to the legislative process. One such proposed change calls for disputes between parties to be settled by a game of "Duck, Duck, Goose". Another change calls for any Senator or Representative who speaks without raising his or her hand will have to sit in timeout for fifteen minutes; if a Senator or Representative is sent to timeout for three or more times a session, they will be forced to stay in Congress while all the other Senators and Representatives go home for recess. Furthermore, Senators and Representatives who are absent during a vote will have to bring an excuse note signed by their constituents.

However, despite the petition exceeding three million signatures, it is unlikely any of these changes will take affect. When asked to comment on the petition, House Speaker Paul Ryan stated, "I don't wanna! You can't make me!" Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell took a similarly defiant stance, sticking his fingers in his ears and saying, "I can't hear you! La-la-la-la-la, I'm not listening!" Democrats were likewise unenthusiastic about the proposed changes, with Nancy Pelosi vowing anyone who signs can't come to her birthday party.

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In spite of this, some members of congress have taken a more accepting stance on this issue, claiming that it may finally grant them relief from the senate bullies who would would always tattle on them to the committee chairs.  Others have expressed an interest in being a "big kid" and taking on the role of such.  Only time will tell how - and if - this issue gets sorted out.

Thank you for watching Fox's Fake News at 5 sponsored by Toys R Us.

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