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Sonya and Michaela Starting Over


Ishigreensa

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Sonja put a finger on her daughter's mouth.

"Honey, quiet," she whispered.  "You can't just say stuff like that.  This person is an official of the state.  She might think I'm not taking care of you."

She then patted her shoulder because she knew her daughter had not meant to cause any trouble.

Brenda had already heard though.  She frowned.

She was in the kitchen at the time cooking, but she had heard.  Was the mother having it that hard?  Maybe she should ask around for programs to help them....

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(Grrrrr I’m sorry. My reply didn’t save.)

Michaela frowned and looked at her lap. She didn’t understand what her mother meant. She was just a little kid expressing her excitement, though for something out of the ordinary for most kids, but it was exciting to her. After having not had a real dinner in who knows how long, of course the little girl would be excited about getting one. She knew her mother tried her best, and understood that things were hard right now. But that didn’t mean Sonja didn’t take care of her or love her. “Sorry mommy.” She whispered quietly. 

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Sonja smiled and patted her shoulder.

"It's okay, honey.  It's just important to think before you act when you are around certain people.  This lady is a school counselor, so she has certain powers and responsibilities, and if she thinks you are not being cared for, she could start a process that could get you taken away from mommy, honey.  It's not bad to be excited about eating at someone's house or even having a real prepared hot meal, but you have to be careful who you express that to, baby."

Sonja had only ever heard horror stories about when schools get involved with family home life.  She had never seen it first hand either way, but the stories she heard were enough to scare her of making the wrong impressions on people like school admininstration, counselors and social workers.

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“Sorry.” Michaela said sadly. She felt guilty. She didn’t want to be taken from her mother. 

Now that Sonja told her that, Michaela didn’t know what she was allowed to say or what was bad. She kept thinking about what she might’ve done wrong before her mother told her. What if what she said at school was enough? She was starting to stress and freak out about this. She was scared now. 

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Brenda came in a little later and she sat down with them.

"Sonja, can I talk freely with you for a bit?  I think there is something important that you should consider and know about, and I don't think it's something you want to stress Michaela over."

Sonja frowned.  Maybe Brenda had heard them talking....  She didn't know what Michaela had already shared, nor that Brenda had heard when Michaela had said that it would be good to get a real meal for once.

Brenda walked over and squatted down by Michaela.

"Your mom and I need to talk about something really important, and if your mommy thinks you should know about it, then she can tell you later, but I think at first, it should just be between the adults.  Can you come into the play room?  There are lots of toys in there, some that might interest you."

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Michaela frowned and looked up at Sonja. She was scared. She felt like she had said something bad and now she’d be taken away from her mother. Her mother was all she had left and didn’t want to be taken from her. 

She obeyed though, sitting in the playroom quietly. She was too worried and stressed to play with anything. She was trying her best not to cry, but she started crying eventually. She was extremely worried and scared. She felt so guilty about everything and it felt like it was all her fault. 

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She was in there for maybe an hour while Sonja and Brenda were talking.  It took at least ten minutes for Brenda to pry and get Sonja to say anything at all, but eventually, she learned enough about their situation to be sympathetic about it.  Then they spent the time talking about what was going on, and how the school could help.  At first, of course, Sonja insisted that they really didn't need any state help.  Then eventually, her fears about social workers and state involvement and about losing her daughter had come out, and Brenda assured her that that wouldn't happen as long as shse was honest about her situation and she let Brenda help her.

She didn't know what to do.

Brenda finally told her.

"If you come to my house twice a week to do your laundry, then at least your daughter can go to school in clothes that fit her.  And maybe I can keep an eye out for some kinds of work you can do until you find something you like.  Maybe we can even do something more.  You do know that your daughter qualifies for free bussing at school, don't you?"

"I filed the paper work yesterday, but we haven't heard anything yet."

They talked about all the things that the school could already do for her, and she assured her that her daughter would get breakfast at school if her daughter rode the school bus.

when they were done talking in the kitchen, for Brenda was making dinner now, a tall thin man came into the play room to get the children to take them to eat dinner.

"It's dinner time," he called out to them reaching for his son to pick him ujp and carry him.

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Michaela was crying the whole time in the play room. She was silent though. She was scared that maybe she said something wrong and now she was going to get taken away from her mother. It was all her fault!

When the man came in, Michaela looked down and tried to get up from the floor. She hadn’t seen any chairs in the room aside from a bean bag, so she had sat on the floor. She struggled trying to get to her feet, finding it very difficult, especially with nothing to support her as she tried. 

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The man knelt down next to her, and as softly as he could, he asked.

"Do you usually get help to get up off of the floor?  I can help you to your feet if you let me, or maybe you want me to go get your mommy?"

He reached out and offered his hand, but just far enough away that she wasn't forced to take it.

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“I want momma.” Michaela whimpered quietly. She was scared and nervous about so many things. She didn’t know the conversation that happened between Brenda and Sonja. She was convinced she’d said something wrong and now she was going to be taken away from her mother. 

Tears still ran down Michaela’s small face. She was so worked up and scared, she couldn’t help but cry. Usually it took Michaela a lot to cry, but she was so anxious that she couldn’t hold back her tears. 

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The man smiled and walked back out with his little boy to get Sonja.

A few minutes later, Sonja came in, and he bent down to her little one.

"What's wrong, honey?  Are you okay?"

She started to help her up off of the floor.

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Michaela hugged her mother as tight as she could. 

“I’m sorry momma!” She cried out. “I didn’t mean to say something bad. I didn’t know I’d get taken from you. I didn’t mean to make trouble. I’m sorry!” She sobbed into her mother’s shoulder. She was convinced that because of what Sonja said and then Brenda wanting to talk with Sonja, that she must’ve said something wrong and now she’d be taken away. 

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Sonja hugged her daughter tight and rocked her.

"It's okay, baby.  It's okay.  I know you didn't mean to say anything dangerous...."

She picked her daughter up and started to carry her.

"Honey, it's alright.  I don't think you said enough to cause a big deal, if this is the only time you say it.  You just need to be careful about talking about not eating enough at home, okay?  I will do try harder to make sure you get enough to eat.  I promise."

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“I’m sorry momma.” Michaela cried. “I know you try hard. That’s why I don’t complain when I’m hungry after dinner or breakfast. I know you try.”

She was still thinking she’d be taken away now, especially since Brenda and Sonja had talked. “Now I’m gonna get taken away from you!” She choked out. “That’s what you two were talking about wasn’t it? I’m sorry momma! I don’t wanna be away from you!”

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"Your counselor didn't say that, honey.  Actually, she said that there might be a little help once you start riding the bus.  She was just trying to explain to me about some things that might be done if we apply with the right places."

She smiled.

"Just try not worry so much, okay?"

 

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Michaela hugged her mother tight, relieved that she wouldn’t be taken away, but still worried about saying something wrong. She was terrified now. She didn’t want to say something by accident and cause their family to be broken up. It was just her and her mother and she couldn’t imagine life without her, especially after losing her father. 

“I’m sorry momma.” She mumbled through her tears. 

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Sonja smiled at her and picked her up.  Like it or not, Sonja felt like her little girl needed a cuddle, and there wasn't anyone in the house that would make her worry about school.  The counselor was her friend, or at least that it seemed to be.  The kid was too young to understand that Michaela might be too old to be carried around, and it looked to Sonja that anyone noticing her little daughter, that she needed some reassurances that things were okay.

She carried her daughter into the dining room to eat.

"She's just a litlte worried and shy," Sonja told the others as she put Michaela in a seat and then sat next to her.

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Michaela wiped her eyes and nose when she was set down. She stared down at her lap, feeling shy and embarrassed. She’d never been to a teacher’s house before. Brenda was basically a teacher, in the way that it was weird to see her outside of school. She was glad that she wasn’t being taken away, but she was still worried. But at the moment, she could only think of the food that she’d be getting. Michaela used to be a pretty picky eater, but because food was scarce, she was open to more foods. 

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Before long, they had brought in some enchiladas, burritoes, and other Mexican foods.

Brenda started to talk to Sonja about more pleasant things while they were eating and her husband kept smiling at Michaela trying to get her to smile back.

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Michaela ate what was on her plate pretty quickly, being pretty hungry. She shyly asked her mother for seconds and then ate that plate a little slower. She really like the burritos. 

Michaela blushed when Brenda’s husband kept smiling at her. She felt kind of embarrassed. She kept her head down and ate her food, unsure what else to do. She had gotten so shy after her father’s death. 

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Seeing that she was shy, and knowing that she had had a hard time from everything that Brenda and Sonya had talked about before, he decided not to push her too much and turned his attention to his little baby boy who craved daddy's attention.

Brenda happily gave her more, and wanted to make sure that both Sonja and Michaela went home full that evening.

"How are you for running water at home?" Brenda asked Sonja.

"We... we have running water."

"But I didn't see a bath tub at your living quarters."

"Well, um...."

"Your daughter smelled like pee two days in a row."

Sonja looked over at Michaela knowing that this one day was not her fault, but wondered how she could have smelled like pee the day before.  She remembered cleaning her up then.

"Um... I'll talk to her about it.  She shouldn't have smelled like pee yesterday...." Sonja mumbled.

"Well, how about you use our bathtub tonight, unless you have a bath tub I don't know about?"

"Well, we had access to a tub, but those kind people that we are renting from went to the hospital.  I'm sure they'll they out soon though."

After a little more talking, Sonja gave in and looked over at Michaela.

"We have to wait for your clothes to finish anyway, and I think the bathroom here might be big enough that you can do it yourself tonight, if you want."

 

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(I thought Sonja had figured out she had an accident. When she got home and got Michaela undressed and smelt it she figured it out, just she didn’t want to embarrass her daughter more.)

Michaela winced when she heard Brenda mention that she smelt like pee. She stopped eating and stared down at her lap. She was embarrassed that it was being talked about so openly. She felt tears sting her eyes from embarrassment and shame. Her face felt so hot, like when she’d gotten a sunburn. 

She wanted to run and hide, but she had nowhere to go, and she couldn’t physically get up and run. She nodded at her mother, keeping her head down and staying silent. She felt ashamed and didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t a very nice feeling, having her mom and the nice counselor woman talking about how she smelled like pee and needed a bath. She wanted to cry, but she was trying to be strong. She was already wetting the bed every night, she didn’t want to start crying to make herself even more of a baby. 

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(You're right).

Brenda saw that Michaela was looking really red and antsy, and she frowned.  She didn't mean to upset the little sweetheart.  She stopped and looked over at Sonja.

Sonja sighed.  She wasn't sure about telling the counselor about her daughter wetting her pants at school because that would surely embarrass her even worse.  She could see her daughter getting upset.

"Can we talk about something else?" she finally said.

Brenda nodded.

They then spoke about how Michaela was getting to school the next day.

"Well, you really should have her riding the bus to school tomorrow.  It's hard enough on the girl to get back and forth without having to deal with public busses.  If you'll let me, I can come and pick her up tomorrow morning for school, and when you come to pick her up in the afternoon, you can fill out the bus accomandation forms, and then I'll take you both back to my place so you can give your daughter a bath again."

Sonja nodded.  That sounded like a good plan for now.

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Michaela felt relieved when the adults stopped talking about how she wet the bed and smelt like pee. She sighed a little and tried to relax, but she was still worried. She was only 8 years old and she was having to go through so much lately. 

She didn’t want to ask about how she would get clean in the morning, since Michaela knew she would inevitably wet the bed again that night. She didn’t want to go to school smelling again. Even with clean clothes, it’s hard to not smell like pee after wetting the bed if you can’t properly bathe or get cleaned up. She was worried about it though. If Brenda could tell that she smelt bad, she was sure Imelda would too. And everyone else at school already made fun of her after her accident at school. 

Imelda. Michaela started thinking about her. She felt bad that she couldn’t play with her outside of school. But she felt bad going to someone’s house to play if she couldn’t invite her back. She sighed and looked at her lap. She felt bad lying, but surely Imelda wouldn’t want to be around her if she knew her situation.

Michaela was getting lost in her thoughts again. 

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Sonja waited a while into dinner before she spoke up.

"Um... if Michaela takes a bath here tonight, I'm not so sure it will do much good for tomorrow."

"What do you mean?" Benda asked.

Sonja nodded at Michaela.

"Can we talk privately for a minute?"

The two ladies left the room for a minute.

Meanwhile, Robert smiled over at Michaela.

"Do you want some dessert?" he asked her.  "We have ice cream."

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