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Restarting my journey to incontinence and hopefully true bedwetting


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earlier in the topic was about incontinent desires.  i use a foley silastic cathater with a bag in my panties. you can feel it drain all the time. its 900 ml. no real chance of infection if done right.  the cathater needs to be changed to a new one every 2 weeks to a month.  after about 6 months now im incontinent for the most part. if i wear a diaper and no cath i cant go but a few minutes without wetting it.  if i wear one at night i will wet it every few minutes.   

infection comes when you reuse the bag without cleaning it and the connection to the cath. bleech and antibiotic soap and then alchol on everything.  especialy the part that connects to the cath.   if you leave the the cath in the diaper then cut the valve out of one of the bags. you feel it running in your diaper.

QUESTION

bet wetting and diaper wear.  HOW DO YOU KEEP FROM WETTING THE BED. that being all over the place and having to do a laundry every morning.  no plastic pants i found keep it in.

 

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  • 5 weeks later...

When I first began my unpotty training I was looking for the "fast track" i.e. catheter and such. What it gave me, was numerous bladder infections, and painful bladder spasms.

So I abandoned it quicly, and continued with diapers and plenty of fluid. However whatever achievement I gained through the day, was offset during nighttime. Only a handfull of nights have a experienced wetting while asleep, usually I wake up with a very full and painfull bladder. Which is why I this year decided to see if locking myself in a chastity device could help, not only make me pee more frequently but also because of the chastity device being very uncomfortable when my weenie tries to beconme erect during nighttime. That obviously wakes me up, and waking up I feel the need to pee, which I do, in my diaper and drifts back to sleep, again.

In the morning I can feel my bladder is nowehere near as full as it used to be. so I guess it's working. 

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I’m very good at keeping my sphincter completely open and let the little dribbles and gushes dribble out. The problem I have noticed is that if I drink to much fluids before bed I can feel it in my bladder like my bladder has become too sensitive and I feel the need too pee all the time, I then pee and 2/3 minuets later I need to pee again. Why is this? It’s very hard to sleep with the need too pee!

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1 hour ago, username said:

I’m very good at keeping my sphincter completely open and let the little dribbles and gushes dribble out. The problem I have noticed is that if I drink to much fluids before bed I can feel it in my bladder like my bladder has become too sensitive and I feel the need too pee all the time, I then pee and 2/3 minuets later I need to pee again. Why is this? It’s very hard to sleep with the need too pee!

What techniques have you used to keep your sphincter open at all times?

I try and push slightly down, at least it feels that way...But only occasionally do I dribble

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well 6 months into a cathater no infections i can leave it in for a month.  the key is cleaning the bag you attach to it or using the part of a bag that has the valve to drain into the diaper. if i take the cathater out i cant walk a foot without peeing.  same in my sleep all be it i do think without the cath there is more in my bladder.  with the cath in and no diaper just my panties and satin pjs the bed is so totaly soaked in the am and i can feel it leaking all night.  of coarse that means cleaning everything in the morning. which canbe a pain. i may get some sort of rubber sheets or something.  when i sleep without the the cath i pee freequently at night. if then i get up and put a cathater in then it puts a lot into the bag right away so i know im not empting the bladder completely without the cath. i use a silastic cathater they are harder to squeeze shut and smoother to use.  i can no longer hold my bladder so have to wear a diaper when the cath is out.  so if i go to the dr or what i have to wear the diaper. 

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At first after wetting I concentrated on the open feeling. I would wet in a standing position standing like a statue, I would wet and try not to clench after wetting. At first it was very difficult as my sphincter would involuntary clench kinda like a spasm, I would have little spasms while peeing,  like I would pee a little and involuntary clench, little pee,  involuntary clench, etc... I drank lots of fluids -  my wetting ability back then was more like flooding. I finally trained myself not to automatically clench when standing. I then started to concentrate on wettings while walking without clenching. I begin to pee and them move around making little movements, I would  involuntary clench but after some time I could move around without the automatic clench. I then would drink lots of fluids and walk around the kitchen table while wetting concentrating on the open feeling, I started on the stairs, start wetting then walk a step.

Now I can wet in any position. When you have learned to remain open you can feel in your sphincter, it does sorta feel like an open feeling,  At first you can defiantly feel it but then it feels normal. Sometimes when I have an involuntary clench it feels weird. You begin to dribble and gush small amounts all the time. If I have a coffee in town I can walk around and while just dribbling away. I can sit and dribble away. I can lay in bed, it seems to build up more when I'm laying down but I after a sort while I pee, it feels like I am going to pee a lot but actually ends up just a little gush.

What I have noticed is that it feels like I have to pee all the time even after I have just peed, I know I have nothing in my bladder but I still feel the urge. This keeps me awake at night. I wake up with a strong urge to pee, I pee a small amount then go back to sleep. I have also noticed when I'm walking around and pee I have  after dribble, most likely Post Micturition Dribble? It is annoying having the feeling like peeing all the time. 

 
 
43 minutes ago, Inconito said:

 

I try and push slightly down, at least it feels that way...But only occasionally do I dribble

By pushing you are excising your sphincter.

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19 hours ago, username said:

I’m very good at keeping my sphincter completely open and let the little dribbles and gushes dribble out. The problem I have noticed is that if I drink to much fluids before bed I can feel it in my bladder like my bladder has become too sensitive and I feel the need too pee all the time, I then pee and 2/3 minuets later I need to pee again. Why is this? It’s very hard to sleep with the need too pee!

Just let it flow. I do.

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On 11/4/2018 at 3:55 PM, username said:

At first after wetting I concentrated on the open feeling. I would wet in a standing position standing like a statue, I would wet and try not to clench after wetting. At first it was very difficult as my sphincter would involuntary clench kinda like a spasm, I would have little spasms while peeing,  like I would pee a little and involuntary clench, little pee,  involuntary clench, etc... I drank lots of fluids -  my wetting ability back then was more like flooding. I finally trained myself not to automatically clench when standing. I then started to concentrate on wettings while walking without clenching. I begin to pee and them move around making little movements, I would  involuntary clench but after some time I could move around without the automatic clench. I then would drink lots of fluids and walk around the kitchen table while wetting concentrating on the open feeling, I started on the stairs, start wetting then walk a step.

Now I can wet in any position. When you have learned to remain open you can feel in your sphincter, it does sorta feel like an open feeling,  At first you can defiantly feel it but then it feels normal. Sometimes when I have an involuntary clench it feels weird. You begin to dribble and gush small amounts all the time. If I have a coffee in town I can walk around and while just dribbling away. I can sit and dribble away. I can lay in bed, it seems to build up more when I'm laying down but I after a sort while I pee, it feels like I am going to pee a lot but actually ends up just a little gush.

 

This closely parallels my own experiences. It takes time to become consciously aware of your internal sphincter as you normally cannot feel it. Once you make that connection you can further learn how to mentally manipulate it, placing it at least partially into the consciously controllable realm instead of unconscious control only which is the natural state. I actually learned the process from the meditative side of martial arts training. Approached correctly, you can control every aspect of any body function but the more deeply the function is connected to survival, the harder it is to achieve.

After years of working on this, my internal sphincter defaults to being open most of the time while I'm awake. It is now a habit, and not a process I have to pay any attention to like I did for the early part of my journey. It's not an always thing, and sometimes I just cannot get my internal sphincter's full cooperation which is rather frustrating. What I find works best at those times is to forget about it by focusing fully on something else, and then it give up it's rebellion faster. Thinking about it seems to just make it last longer. I can also get it to close at will given enough concentration on that, but with it's ability being weakened through atrophy from years of disuse whatever control I can achieve is both uncertain and short-lived. My external sphincter is in a similar state. I am now truly incontinent in that I cannot stop my wetting, and that is what I wanted.

Bettypooh

 

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14 minutes ago, Bettypooh said:

This closely parallels my own experiences. It takes time to become consciously aware of your internal sphincter as you normally cannot feel it. Once you make that connection you can further learn how to mentally manipulate it, placing it at least partially into the consciously controllable realm instead of unconscious control only which is the natural state. I actually learned the process from the meditative side of martial arts training. Approached correctly, you can control every aspect of any body function but the more deeply the function is connected to survival, the harder it is to achieve.

After years of working on this, my internal sphincter defaults to being open most of the time while I'm awake. It is now a habit, and not a process I have to pay any attention to like I did for the early part of my journey. It's not an always thing, and sometimes I just cannot get my internal sphincter's full cooperation which is rather frustrating. What I find works best at those times is to forget about it by focusing fully on something else, and then it give up it's rebellion faster. Thinking about it seems to just make it last longer. I can also get it to close at will given enough concentration on that, but with it's ability being weakened through atrophy from years of disuse whatever control I can achieve is both uncertain and short-lived. My external sphincter is in a similar state. I am now truly incontinent in that I cannot stop my wetting, and that is what I wanted.

Bettypooh

 

Some time ago you mentioned you may be working on bowel incontinence also. Are you working towards that also?

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1 hour ago, Bettypooh said:

I think you may have me confused for someone else. I'd rather not have that.

Bettypooh

I'm sorry.... I thought you mentioned it in the past

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  • 1 month later...
On 11/7/2018 at 1:23 PM, incondl said:

I'm sorry.... I thought you mentioned it in the past

I think you mean me :).

Btw. Sorry for a long overdue update.

I'm not exactly seeking bowel incontinence, but I try and stay regular. I usually only poop once every day. In the morning, usually. Here I don't hold back but let it happen, and then after finishing the days first mug of coffee. Go get a shower.

I have implemented chastity as a tool in my training, to overcome I'm a heavy sleeper and doesn't wake up at night. So for years I have woken with a bursting bladder. The chastity makes sure this doesn't happen because of natural bodily behaviour during nighttime, and I'm waking up, and wet, thereafter drifting back to sleep. In the morning where I before was flooding my diaper, I only wet a small amount now. Which to my knowledge means my bladder doesn't get stretched as it used to.

Since I'm awaken up at night I use this as an opportunity to condition myself even more, that it is perfectly ok to wet in my bed.

Must say, chastity for me is a tool, not a kink or something I get off on, or dream about my wife doing something. Just to keep certain comments away from this thread.

 

But for people who are having a hard time waking up at night, and end up with a bursting bladder, I can recommend implementing chastity.

Second, it makes sure you are not masturbating and unintentionally strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

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20 hours ago, DaveeBEd said:

Hi Inconito

Can you share what chastity device you're using. My boyfriend is trying to encourage me to try this and I am intrigued but not yet convinced!

Ill send you a private massage. I dont want to use this This thread to discuss chastity devices. Only diaper related topics,

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2 hours ago, Inconito said:

Ill send you a private massage. I dont want to ude this Therese to discuss chastity devices. Only diaper related topics,

Well, which Therese will you ude to discuss this? 

j/k - I know, autocorrect sux.

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1 hour ago, dyperbole said:

Well, which Therese will you ude to discuss this? 

j/k - I know, autocorrect sux.

Yep. Hate auto correct in android sometimes :). Well, I updated so it should make sense now lol.

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  • 6 months later...

Long time update.

For a long time, I didn't feel the need to update on my progress towards incontinence. I felt like I have for a couple of years, that the plateau I had reached kept me in my current state, neither progression nor regression.

However for the past three to four years I have had sporadic bedwetting (not sleep wetting) waking up slightly with a need to pee. Went in my diaper and drifted back to sleep, it wasn't continues bedwetting, but rather occasionally, and rare. Usually I woke up in the morning with a bursting bladder and it felt like I was peeing larger amounts, it felt depressing. Again, like the plateau I had reached wouldn't let me proceed. My bladder and subconscious mind was fighting back.

Lately I'm feeling I have finally been able to get some progress, again. My sleep pattern sort of changed, usually I'm a deepsleeper. My wife says a bomb can detonate next to me, and I wouldn't wake up still. That has changed somewhat, I'm still a beekeeper, but I wake up during the night, get up and wet my diaper, maybe stay up a couple of minutes, and then back to sleep. This has been going for the last four to five months now. Lately I have forced myself to stay in bed, and just wet in my diaper and go back to sleep.

Again , not true bedwetting though but I'm wetting in bed without much consideration. Hopefully as time flies, a new habit will be formed, I hope.

Why has bedwetting always seemed to be MY holy grail? Maybe because once bedwetting or nighttime wetting has manifested it self, I'll finally see my bladder capacity declining, and the onset or signs of overactive bladder and urge incontinence would start to show it self.

I don't flood my diaper anymore, another sign of decreased bladder capacity, I think.

 

I believe that I have reached an important threshold, comparing to what my bladder used to be able to store without any discomfort and what capacity I have now. This threshold has gone down, significantly down. Comparing (without measuring) the volume I feel my bladder pushes out into my diaper. Before I experience true incontinence episodes due to real and quite strong bladder spasms, which can only be relieved by letting go instantly.

Hopefully my bladder capacity will continue to decrease, meaning more settings at night, and I finally will hit the slippery slope, and bedwetting and real incontinence will manifest itself.

It has only taken me nearly 5 years to reach this state. However I started out with almost insane bladder control, greatly helped by a shy bladder syndrome. Now I wet freely, when participating in conversations, being in meetings and such. Only on a very few occasions do I notice I'm holding back, but these occasions are also becoming more and more rare, thankfully.

 

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49 minutes ago, Inconito said:

Long time update.

For a long time, I didn't feel the need to update on my progress towards incontinence. I felt like I have for a couple of years, that the plateau I had reached kept me in my current state, neither progression nor regression.

However for the past three to four years I have had sporadic bedwetting (not sleep wetting) waking up slightly with a need to pee. Went in my diaper and drifted back to sleep, it wasn't continues bedwetting, but rather occasionally, and rare. Usually I woke up in the morning with a bursting bladder and it felt like I was peeing larger amounts, it felt depressing. Again, like the plateau I had reached wouldn't let me proceed. My bladder and subconscious mind was fighting back.

Lately I'm feeling I have finally been able to get some progress, again. My sleep pattern sort of changed, usually I'm a deepsleeper. My wife says a bomb can detonate next to me, and I wouldn't wake up still. That has changed somewhat, I'm still a beekeeper, but I wake up during the night, get up and wet my diaper, maybe stay up a couple of minutes, and then back to sleep. This has been going for the last four to five months now. Lately I have forced myself to stay in bed, and just wet in my diaper and go back to sleep.

Again , not true bedwetting though but I'm wetting in bed without much consideration. Hopefully as time flies, a new habit will be formed, I hope.

Why has bedwetting always seemed to be MY holy grail? Maybe because once bedwetting or nighttime wetting has manifested it self, I'll finally see my bladder capacity declining, and the onset or signs of overactive bladder and urge incontinence would start to show it self.

I don't flood my diaper anymore, another sign of decreased bladder capacity, I think.

Today I wanted to test my bladder.

When did it start to spasm / contract?

How much urine did I have left when I felt my bladder was empty?

 

When I came home from work, I waited until my bladder began showing signs of being ready to release, quickly went to the bathroom, pulled out a cup used for measuring fluids. Peed in the cup, and looked at my volume. 80ml did I per, when my bladder showed then first signs of needing to be emptied. It was not a very strong urge I felt, but enough pressure still, that it began to feel uncomfortable.

after I was done urinating in the cup, I then took a catheter and drained what ever remaining urine I might have in my bladder. Again looked at the cup, and saw I was retaining 100ml.

Based on these readings I estimate my overall bladder capacity is approx 300ml. The 80ml I Peed out plus 100ml residendual urine, plus another 100ml which then would give me true incontinence episodes.

I believe that I have reached an important threshold, comparing to what my bladder used to be able to store without any discomfort. This threshold has gone down, significantly down. Comparing (without measuring) the volume I feel my bladder pushes out into my diaper to the volume I measured in the cup tells me, I may be able to hold approx 250ml. Before I experience true incontinence episodes due to real and quite strong bladder spasms, which can only be relieved by letting go instantly.

Hopefully my bladder capacity will continue to decrease, meaning more settings at night, and I finally will hit the slippery slope, and bedwetting and real incontinence will manifest itself.

It has only taken me nearly 5 years to reach this state. However I started out with almost insane bladder control, greatly helped by a shy bladder syndrome. Now I wet freely, when participating in conversations, being in meetings and such. Only on a very few occasions do I notice I'm holding back, but these occasions are also becoming more and more rare, thankfully.

 

Thank you for the update.

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saw your update had not been on here in a while.  I use a silastic cathater.  i had a bilatteral removal 10 years ago so never did much but dribble after that.  using a cathater it fills up all the time more than i could imagine. i use a 900 ml bag on my waist or in my panties.  its been 18 months since i started.  i use a diaper from time to time with it instead.  if i cross my legs for more than a couple minutes or the bag is near full it hurts.  i have no bladder volume left.  i do have some control per say if i take it out for a short period.  once its in it drains period so where you might have some left with a cath you dont. so if you take it out and go to the dr you can last a couple hours as long as you dont drink.  

i want to go to diapers and i know with my sleep meds i will wet the bed no doubt about it. will it wake me or what i cant say.  problem is any diaper leaks and if i fall asleep in the wrong spot like the couch or even the bed is a mess to clean up.  there are rubber satin sheets i want to order in but it just protects the bed. you still have to wash the sheets pillow comforter etc. 

so far not found a reliable diaper and cover that catches it all.  but if you want to be incontinent that will do it to you.

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9 hours ago, MISSY1959 said:

saw your update had not been on here in a while.  I use a silastic cathater.  i had a bilatteral removal 10 years ago so never did much but dribble after that.  using a cathater it fills up all the time more than i could imagine. i use a 900 ml bag on my waist or in my panties.  its been 18 months since i started.  i use a diaper from time to time with it instead.  if i cross my legs for more than a couple minutes or the bag is near full it hurts.  i have no bladder volume left.  i do have some control per say if i take it out for a short period.  once its in it drains period so where you might have some left with a cath you dont. so if you take it out and go to the dr you can last a couple hours as long as you dont drink.  

i want to go to diapers and i know with my sleep meds i will wet the bed no doubt about it. will it wake me or what i cant say.  problem is any diaper leaks and if i fall asleep in the wrong spot like the couch or even the bed is a mess to clean up.  there are rubber satin sheets i want to order in but it just protects the bed. you still have to wash the sheets pillow comforter etc. 

so far not found a reliable diaper and cover that catches it all.  but if you want to be incontinent that will do it to you.

Missy, each time I tried catheters I got a horrible UTI, no matter how much I did to eliminate bacteria. I ended up with antibiotics, and my doctor becoming more and

more suspicious. It’s not common males get an UTI. 

Plus the very strong and painful bladder cramps made it unbearable

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No uti here all be it i do keep bactrim on hand.  on shot bactrim if you feel an infection thts a pill beats it back instantly.  i use silastic cathaters they dont break and you cant pinch them off.  if you use it in your diaper take a urinary bag cut off the bag so the valve is there its a one way thing and put it on the end.   mine has not been in straight almost 2 months will need to change it soon.  they do build up calcium on the end so you should take them out once a month or so to replace or clean. they are like 6 bucks each.  i use water with soap and bleach let them soak.  rinse then rinse in alchol before reuse.   when it starts to feel a little irriation thats when the cathater ballon is starting to go bad. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

OK. Time for another update, and update, I didn't believe I would make. No, I have not become incontinent, not yet. Unfortunately.

However I have mentioned in several of my replies, about my bad experiences using catheters as a "fast track" to incontinence. Well, Monday I gave it another shot, only this time, I planned ahead, should it happen, that an UTI would materialize itself, again, I ordered some antibiotics for just in case....

From my previous attempts to use a Foley catheter to achieve incontinence, I experienced incredible strong bladder spasms, clogging of the catheter, and an UTI to top it all. Which was why I abandoned catheters.

Why did I then chose to try again, now I wrote I finally began seeing moderate progress following the "natural,safe approach"? simply because I began noticing, I was backsliding again, output volume increased and so forth. So I decided enough is enough, I have been working on becoming incontinent for five years, and counting wearing diapers 24/7 during the whole period..and still far from my goal. Simply because of the duration, I honestly think I have both tried and know, my bits about being incontinent, the hassle, but also the good things. So.

As said, I have had the catheter in place since Monday, this week, so only three days and counting, it has been incredible comfortable, I don't feel it (it's a FR 16, and silicone cath), I have attached it to a drainage bag, in order to keep everything sterile, the bag has not been off, Monday will I change the bag to a new one. I plan on keeping the catheter in for 3-4 weeks, unless it gets clogged, and needs to be changed. Bag will be replaced every week. During night time, I'll leave the valve open in the drainage bag, and let it empty in my diaper. Not entirely a closed loop, but almost. So far, no signs of anything, knock on woods....

It feels great not feeling anything in my bladder, no sudden urges, nothing.

I remember reading a lot about people using catheters as a way to become incontinent, one mentioned after six months of constant drainage, their bladder was the size of a walnut /golfball, and they experienced constant leakage, but I haven't been able to find these sources again.

Missy here have been a great inspiration to me, However I hope to gain more info from other people who also used catheters to become incontinent, some questions are:

what's your experience using catheters to become incontinent?

how long did it take for you before, you realized your in fact where incontinent?

when you took out the last catheter after XYZ months, did you notice you began slowly sliding back towards continence, again, because all the sudden your bladder had to work again?

Does constant draining of the bladder for XYZ months really shrink your bladder?

Is the shrinking of the bladder reversible, or irreversibel, when the shrinking has been  done through constant drainage with the help of a Foley catheter?

How does your bladder behave now?

Have been catherized for long-term had any impact on your urinary sphincters, did they become stronger, weaker?

How about the detrusor muscle, any changes in the behavior, and have it continued to change afterwards?

Well, in approx six months time I hope I can answer these questions myself, but just out of curiosity....

 

 

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