Froehliche Weihnachten (COMPLETE)

[CDfm]

I have so many questions right now. The biggest one is how did Magda manage to return home? I can imagine how she must have felt seeing the swastika and the rifle. I can’t wait for the next chapter. 

[Cute_Kitten]

 

Gertrude recoiled like she’d been slapped.  She stepped back.  Her wet cloth diaper rubbed her privates and squished with each step.  She lowered the rifle, holding it in one hand at her side.  Shock gave way to surprised outrage.  “You think I’ll shoot you?!”  Horror turned her voice into a high pitched squeal.  A few chickens clucked and a cow lowed at the sound.

 

Magda simply stared at her with a blank, gaunt face.  “You pointed a gun at me.”  Her blank tone was matter of fact.  

 

“You broke into our barn!  Of course I’m gonna point a gun at a thief.  I didn’t know it was you!”

 

“Even when you recognized me, you never lowered the gun.”

 

“I-well. You. I-I didn’t know what to do!  I still don’t.  You think I’d shoot you?!  What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

 

Magda was calm and collected in the face of Gertrude’s shocked hysteria.  “I’ve stared up a gun like this held by a soldier in a coat like that.  He fully intended to shoot me.  I’ve seen people lined up and shot down into big pits by soldiers in coats like yours, armed with guns like the one in your hand.  Of course I expect you to shoot me.”  Her voice was flat, but her blue eyes were full of horror at the memories.

 

Gertrude shook her head, stepping back.  “You’re lying.”

 

“It’s what happened to the Jews from our village.  A few of us survived only because it started storming.  Lightning struck a nearby tree.  The soldiers got scared, wanted to get indoors.”  

 

“I don’t believe you.  If it was true, the newspapers would’ve reported such atrocities.”

 

“What do you think is happening?  All across the Reich, Jews are disappearing.  You saw the soldiers round us up at gunpoint like we were criminals.”

 

“The papers said Jews were being relocated.  Killings were never mentioned.”   Gertrude firmly believed the papers and the news on the radio.  She crossed her arms awkwardly, the rifle slipping down in her grip.  The lantern hanging off her elbow swayed.  

 

“I’m telling you the truth.  Where do you think the Jews are being relocated to? I bet the papers nor the radio ever mention that.”

 

Gertrude shrugged. She had no answer to that.  “Does it really matter?  They’re being exiled from the Reich.”

 

Magda smiled darkly.  “First it was a train ride. They stuffed us into a small, poor section of a Polish city they’d walled off. I shared a tiny apartment with three families.  There was no room.  Little food.  Once the ghetto was stuffed full of people, the Nazis sealed it off.  Then they started liquidating.  People disappeared, packed into cattle cars. Not a train for humans.  For animals.  That’s how they see us.  Animals.”

 

Gertrude wanted to deny it, say her once-friend was lying.  Jews always lied.  But she knew how Jews were viewed...the things taught in school, read in papers and books, heard on the radio.  Even in the movies, in songs.  A Jew was no better than an animal.  Less than an animal.  How could she argue with that?

 

Magda’s haunted blue eyes bore into hers.  “Once in a while, someone would escape and come back.  They told stories about camps and gas chambers.  Huge chimneys that belched black smoke day and night.  The smell of burnt flesh spread out for miles around. “

 

Gertrude wanted to call Magda a liar.  That was like something out of a horror book.  Edgar Allan Poe stuff.  Not reality.   Yet, if it was real, how were people getting away with it?  It was one big, governmental conspiracy theory.   Too surreal to be true.  Just like all the dead Hadamar patients.  Her old doubts about Heidi’s death surfaced.  The doctors had been state employees in a government run hospital.  Was Magda’s story that much of a stretch?  Or just more Jewish lies?  As a child, Magda had never lied to her.  She’d trusted Gertrude with her deepest fears and secrets.  

 

“Y-you’re not supposed to be here. I-I’ll go g-get my d-dad.”  Gertrude’s tone warbled her indecision.  She was torn on whether to believe Magda or not.

 

“If you’re going to do that, I’d rather you just shoot me.  I’ll be turned into the Gestapo and end up right back on the train to Auschwitz.  Or Buchenwald.  I don’t know which one they planned to take me to.  The soldiers never tell us where we’re going.  I only know because I overheard two of them talking.”  

 

Buchenwald.  The name punched Getrude in the stomach.  That was the place Josef didn’t like to talk about.  Gassings and mass graves.  Working in a place like that, it was no wonder Josef had turned cold and guarded. She still wasn’t fully sure if Magda was telling the truth or not, but that name swayed her.  Maybe she just didn’t want to believe such horror was going on.  All she knew was she couldn’t turn Magda in.  She had to help her.  Heidi would’ve wanted her to.  

 

How could Magda speak of such horror yet stay so calm?  By shutting down her emotions, pushing reality to a distance.  The same way Gertrude got on with the loss of her sister and her suspicions of her death.

 

“You can’t stay here.  It’s not safe.”  Gertrude was calm and firm in her resolve.  She knew what she had to do.  She gestured to the oversized coat.  “Josef is a guard at Buchenwald. I can’t offer you refuge.”

 

Magda’s lips twitched in a small, wry smile.  “No where’s safe.”

 

Gertrude held out a hand in an offer to help her up.  “I can get you some supplies.  Sneak you into the house.  Get you warmed up.  Get you some food.”  Her gaze flicked to the broken egg shells littering the floor.  “Some cooked food.  Everyone’s asleep;  it’s safe if we’re careful.”  

 

The morbid amusement fell from Magda’s face.  She stared at Gertrude’s hand like it was a poisonous snake.  “You’re going to turn me in.  You’re trying to trick me.  It’s what your kind always does.”  For the first time, emotion crept into her voice- hurt and bitterness.  Her face stayed blank.

[Wannatripbaby]

God, this is amazing!

[CDfm]

This chapter really hurt deep down knowing that these horrific things actually happened to people.  It’s hard to understand how people can do such things. 

[Cute_Kitten]

Thank you both for commenting.    CDfm- I agree; that's part of why I wanted to write from Gertrude's POV, to explore and try, in a small way to understand it. 

 

 

 

“What? No. I-”  Gertrude was taken aback.  Her hand fell to her side. As children, they’d been friends.  A team. A dynamic, diapered duo even if Gertrude wasn’t actually diapered.  Now, they were divided. Lying Nazi. Filthy Jew.

 

Gertrude closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a few moments to calm down.  Opening her eyes, she tossed Josef’s rifle aside, far out of her reach. She’d have to come back and get it later.    “I want to help you. The world’s gone crazy. I don’t know where I stand. But you were my best friend. I know I have to help you, for old times’ sake.  Heidi would’ve wanted me too.”

 

She could see the indecision on Magda’s face. Magda looked away, dropping her eyes from Gertrude’s gaze.

 

“Would’ve?”  Magda caught the past tense in Gertrude’s words, but she spoke with a distracted daze, mind preoccupied with deciding whether she could trust her old friend or not.

 

“Heidi passed away.”  Gertrude’s voice was soft.

 

“Oh.”  Magda nodded.  No offer of sympathy or condolences.  She took the news like it was just another everyday fact of life.  Like she was used to hearing about people she knew and cared for dying.  “My parents were shot.” Her voice was flat, matter of fact.

 

Gertrude’s eyes widened.  “Oh, Magda. I’m so sorr-”

 

Magda held up a hand, shaking her head.  She didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to face the emotions she’d stuffed away.  Silence and seconds ticked between them.

 

Magda’s blue eyes flew up to her.  “Everyone’s asleep, but you’re up?”  Suspicion laced her tone. She wasn’t ready to trust Gertrude just yet.

 

“Yeah.  I’m not lying.  I’m only up cuz I couldn’t sleep.  I kept thinking about Heidi- it’s my first Christmas without her.  I looked out the window and saw your footprints in the snow. I thought you were the village idiot out to rob us again, so I came out to give her a good scare.  Instead, you scared me.” Gertrude smiled a little at the lame joke. It fell flat since Magda didn’t know Gertrude had peed her diaper.

 

“I’m the one who peed.”   

 

Gertrude thought the response was meant to be a joke, but Magda didn’t smile and her tone was flat.  Maybe, after all she’d been through, she was incapable of smiling.

 

“So, you’ll let me help you? We still have Heidi’s old clothes. Her-her….diapers.”   She added that last part softly. She didn’t know for certain if Magda still needed diapers or not.  Maybe, like Gertrude, she’d just peed herself out of surprise. Gertrude didn’t want to pry. She was also reluctant to part with her dead sister’s belongings. Magda had been Heidi’s friend, too, so... “If...if they go to anybody, it should be you.”    She didn’t realize she spoke that last part out loud.

 

“Okay.”  Magda nodded.  “I don’t have much of a choice.  If I leave now, like this, my skirt will freeze.”   She hesitated, then added. “It’ll be nice not to be so smelly.”  

 

That comment made Gertrude wonder how long Magda had been on the run, peeing herself.   She held out her hand again. Magda took it, allowing Gertrude to help her up. Magda’s pee had soaked into the wooden floorboards and her ragged skirts.   Gertrude smiled. Magda’s face stayed blank.

 

Gertrude noticed Magda shivering; she offered her Josef’s coat.  Magda looked at the swastika armband and shook her head in refusal.  She’d rather freeze. The girls made their way back to the farmhouse.  

 

[Wannatripbaby]

Another great chapter.

But--and this is mainly my OCD talking--why are some chapters written in Bold (like the previous one) and others are not? (Like this one.)

[Cute_Kitten]

 

Another great chapter.

But--and this is mainly my OCD talking--why are some chapters written in Bold (like the previous one) and others are not? (Like this one.)

 

When I post a chapter, I copy/paste and get the option of "remove rich text format" (or something along those lines) and that removes the bolding- but I don't always remember to do that.  When it's in bold, I've forgotten to remove that formatting xD 

[Cute_Kitten]

After the cold outside, the kitchen felt almost warm.  Magda stood just inside the big door on an old rag rug, shivering and reeking of pee.  Gertrude wrapped Josef’s huge coat- warm from her body head- around Magda’s shoulders. Under all those layers of dirty rags, Gertrude could feel her sharp shoulder bones.  This time, Magda didn’t protest.

 

Gertrude fired up the old wooden stove in the corner.  The family had a new gas stove, but they still used the old wood stove for heat.  Magda’s eyes were huge as she looked around the room she once knew well. She huddled by the coat rack, as if waiting for Nazi soldiers to rush out and arrest her.  She looked so small and terrified. It was the same haunted look Heidi had had on her face when Gertrude had left her for the last time.

 

Gertrude’s heart twisted.  “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you some clean clothes.  Hide in here if you hear anyone.” She motioned to a pantry door just past the long line of family coats.  The pantry was supposed to store canned goods and other foods, but it was mostly full of old junk. Generations of pack rats ran in her family.  

 

Magda nodded, shuffling closer to the pantry door.  Gertrude left and took the lantern with her; Magda was left in darkness, with only the moonlight coming in the window to see by.  The crackling fire in the wood stove filled the kitchen with waves of warmth.

 

Upstairs, Gertrude took off her wet diaper.  After the soggy warmth of the thick, wet cloth, her privates were extra sensitive to the cold draft in the bedroom.  For a moment, she was tempted to put a dry one on. She moved more freely without the bulky diaper. It made her appreciate being potty trained.  She put on a pair of dirty panties; she had no time to clean up her pee-damp privates. Helping Magda was her priority.

 

Out in the barn, that had been very clear.  Here in the house, so close to her slumbering kin, she wasn’t so confident. Was this really the right thing to do?  It’d be so easy to go wake Josef, her father or one of her uncles. Let them handle this. Betray Magda like she did Heidi.  Well, she hadn’t actually betrayed her, but leaving her behind at the sanatorium felt like a betrayal.

 

Gertrude returned to the kitchen with her old Bund Deutscher Madel, or League of German Girls, camping knapsack stuffed with Heidi’s winter clothes, diapers, and rubber panties.  She held a fresh change of clothes, some towels, and a bar of lye soap. She set everything down on the kitchen table.

 

“I’m back.”  She whispered to the empty room.  Magda was nowhere in sight.

[Wannatripbaby]

This story continues to captivate. And I'm certain we've only just begun to see the struggle in this tale.

By the way I forgot to ask, why did you change your profile picture, Cute_Kitten? It's a nice picture, but after using the same one for so long (at least since I joined) what made you decide to change it?

[Cute_Kitten]

 

This story continues to captivate. And I'm certain we've only just begun to see the struggle in this tale.

By the way I forgot to ask, why did you change your profile picture, Cute_Kitten? It's a nice picture, but after using the same one for so long (at least since I joined) what made you decide to change it?

Every so often I change my pic up.  This change was because I really liked this one, and it's still winter, so I decided to put up a winter pic.  

[Wannatripbaby]

 

Every so often I change my pic up.  This change was because I really liked this one, and it's still winter, so I decided to put up a winter pic.  

I like it. It's a very nice picture. It really captures the sadness of winter in her eyes.

[Cute_Kitten]

 

I like it. It's a very nice picture. It really captures the sadness of winter in her eyes.

That's what I liked about it too- hence me using it :3

[Cute_Kitten]

Gertrude went to the pantry door and opened it. She held the lantern up, smiling sadly. She almost felt like a child playing hide and seek. Magda was as skittish as a newborn calf- so different from the bold, chubby girl who never hesitated to sneak onto the farm to play with Gertrude and Heidi. Such a huge change helped convince Gertrude that Magda was telling the truth about the horrors she’d witnessed. 

The pantry door squeaked softly on its hinges. At first Gertrude didn’t see Magda hiding amongst the piles and heaps of junk. She certainly smelled her; the girl reeked of stale urine. She wondered how Magda hid so well in the dark. Maybe she’d had a lot of practice. “It’s just me.” 

Magda’s head popped up from behind the remains of an old, broken vacuum cleaner and a stack of old pots and cracked mixing bowls with a chipped tureen balanced on top. “I heard footsteps upstairs. Doors. So I hid.” 

Gertrude smiled. “That was me. I tried to be quiet.” She picked up an old, chipped wash basin and pitcher that was from her great grandparents’ time. “I got some soap and clean clothes. I thought you might like to wash up.” 

Magda actually smiled at that. It was a faint smile, but it gave Gertrude hope. For that brief moment, Gertrude glimpsed her old friend. 

Magda followed Gertrude to the sink. Gertrude filled up the porcelain basin with warm water, put a towel on the floor for Magda to stand on so water wouldn’t splash everywhere, then handed Magda the bar of soap and a washcloth. “Just toss your dirty clothes on the floor. I’ll take care of them. While you’re cleaning up, I’ll fix you some leftover stew.”

Magda just nodded, but her eyes lit up at the sight of the soap. Gertrude turned her back to give Magda some privacy. She dug through the icebox for the leftovers. 

Magda’s soft giggle filled the quiet kitchen. “Thank you, but don’t worry about it. In the ghetto, I had to shower with other women to save on water. I’m used to it. An old friend seeing me naked is better than a stranger.” 

Did that mean Magda trusted her now? Gertrude wasn’t sure what to make of that. “There’s no meat in the stew, but my Tante Johanna’s real good at canning veggies, so they taste like they’re fresh picked.” 

Behind her, she heard the rustle of clothing as Magda undressed. The wet plop of a saturated diaper hitting the hard floor filled the silent night, followed by the splash of the water basin. She heard Magda’s little sigh of pleasure as she scrubbed down in the warm kitchen. “I’m sorry it’s not a real shower. It’s just- the bathroom’s upstairs and everyone’ll hear the water running.” 

“This is fine.” Magda waved off her apology. 

Gertrude still kept her back to Magda as she pulled out a pot and heated up the leftover stew on top of the wood stove. She also warmed up a glass of milk. While she was waiting for the stew to heat, she fished an old tin from the back of a cupboard and filled it with Magda’s favorite Christmas cookies. Some stollen, pfeffernusse, and allerlei cookies. She almost slipped in some swastika shaped ones but caught herself just in time. 

Packing a tin of Christmas cookies for her friend flashed her back to childhood. As a Jew, Magda didn’t celebrate Christmas. But Gertrude had always snuck her a gift of yummy cookies. And on Hanukkah, Magda snuck her a tin of sufganiyot- fluffy, jelly stuffed donuts deep fried and dusted in powdered sugar. 

Gertrude slipped the tin into the knapsack, along with some home-canned vegetables grown in the garden. She gave what she could spare without arousing suspicion in the rest of the family for missing goods. “It’s not much. I wish I could do more. But here’s clean clothes and some food. A few Marks I’d saved up. I was gonna give them to Heidi...and Heidi’s...underwear in here. Y’know. Just in case.” She hedged around saying diapers. Magda might be okay with talking about them out loud, but Gertrude wasn’t. 

“It’s more than I could ask for. I don’t have much further to go. I-” Magda abruptly cut herself off. She headed into dangerous territory; the multitude of things left unsaid between them. 

How had Magda gotten here? Gertrude had figured out that much- she ran away, obviously. Escaped from a train headed to a Nazi camp. Buchenwald? Maybe she’d have met Josef there. With his rifle. Did Josef shoot Jews? Would he shoot Magda? Gertrude shuddered, cold all over from those thoughts. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Another astounding chapter.

[CDfm]

That was another fantastic chapter. I almost want to cry reading this though. It’s such a sad story. My heart lept  but tears wanted to come when Magda smiled at the sight of soap or the sigh of pleasure at being allowed to wash herself off a little. 

You are doing an amazing job with this story and I am pleased to be able to give it a like. 

[Cute_Kitten]

Thank you both for commenting.    I'm glad to know these scenes are emotional- it's what I was aiming for.  Given the turbulence of those times, I wanted to try and capture what it might have been like.  That's one of the reasons I chose to write from Gertrude's point of view instead of Magda's.  

 

She heard the soft rustling of cloth as Magda dried off and got dressed. The distinct sound of rubber panties sliding over skin then pulled over bulky cloth diapers filled the room. Gertrude stirred the stew on the small stove. It bubbled away, filling the kitchen with a mouth watering aroma. She turned the burner off and poured the stew into a bowl, then set it on the kitchen table next to the knapsack. She added a few slices of homemade bread. Gertrude fiddled with the empty pot as it cooled on the stove. She listened as Magda finished getting dressed. 

The chair scraped on wood then Magda sat down in front of the stew. She no longer reeked of pee, so she smelled better, even if she didn’t look any better. Heidi had been a gangly thing. With the weight loss, Magda had no problem fitting into Heidi’s old woolen dress. Gertrude wondered how the diapers and protective rubber panties fit. 

Magda sniffed the stew appreciatively, her eyes widening like she wanted to plunge in face first and devour it all in one gulp. Her stomach rumbled, echoing the hunger in her eyes. She calmly picked up the spoon and ate in a slow, controlled manner like a polite lady would. LIke she wanted to prove she wasn’t just an incontinent animal.

Gertrude watched her for a moment, wondering what the hell her friend had been through. “There’s no pork. Just veggies.” She glanced down at the stinky, pee soaked wet rags on the floor. On top of the skirts, tattered sweater and ratty coat were torn, saturated cloth diapers and ripped rubber panties. How long had Magda been stuck in leaky diapers? That was one question answered- Magda obviously never grew out of her diapers. 

“You already said that. Even if it was pork, I wouldn’t care.” Magda swallowed a carefully chewed bite. 

“Did I? Sorry.” 

“Thank you for the food. And the help.” She added as a forgotten after-thought, as if she hadn’t used her manners in a long time.

“That’s what friends are for. Anyway, while you’re eating, I’ll take care of this.” Gertrude looked at the pee-soaked clothing stinking up the kitchen. 

“B-but, that’s my p-pee! My d-diapers!” Magda’s flustered, horrified whisper filled the kitchen. 

“Just eat. It’s not a problem- I used to do stuff like this for Heidi all the time. I’m used to it.” 

“B-but-”

“Eat, eat.” Gertrude waved her off. She got Heidi’s old metal diaper bucket out of the storage pantry, filled it with hot water and soap flakes from a box under the sink. Then she held her breath, picked up the urine saturated rags and soaked them all in the bucket. She hid the bucket in the pantry to take care of later. 

When she came out of the pantry, Magda finished mopping up the last bit of stew with the last bite of bread. Her eyes were closed in unguarded ecstacy, savoring the last bite. Gertrude expected to hear her moan, but she made no sound. 

Opening her eyes to see Gabby watching her, Magda blushed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to eat so much. I’ve forgotten what a full belly feels like.” She stood up to carry her bowl and glass to the sink. Her chair fell over; the clatter of wood hitting wood echoed like thunder throughout the quiet house. 

Magda and Gertrude froze, staring at each other with wide eyes. They held their breaths. Silence stretched out. Tense seconds felt like hours. They never moved, waiting for the sounds of feet on the floor upstairs. Silent minutes passed. 
 

Gertrude wished she’d put on a clean diaper. She had to pee. Her poor nerves couldn’t take this. She wondered if Magda had peed her clean diapers and rubber panties. 

Gertrude gave Magda a nervous smile. “Looks like the coast is clear.” She whispered softly, afraid to talk too loudly after the noisy bang. 

Magda didn’t return the smile. “I need to go.” Her face was stricken, her hiding place ruined. Gertrude wondered how long had Magda been running and hiding. Her eyes were that of a haunted animal.

Gertrude wanted to argue that Magda could stay a little longer- it was Christmas, after all. But then common sense overruled her emotions. It was too dangerous for Magda to stay. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the last time she’d ever see her best friend. She swallowed thickly and nodded. “I brought down my old boots. I noticed yours have holes in them. Mine are a little worn, but sturdy. They’ll get you where you need to go.” 

Heidi’s socks looked brand new on Magda’s small feet. Gertrude had also brought down Heidi’s old winter coat, knitted woolen hat, scarf, and gloves. Heidi’s clothes had all been hand-me-downs from Gertrude, except for the yearly Christmas cardigan from grandma. All of Heidi’s clothes were supposed to have been donated to charity, but Gertrude couldn’t bring herself to part with them. She supposed this counted as a type of charity. Giving them to Magda, helping out a friend, felt better than letting them go to some stranger. 

That stranger would be a fellow Aryan. Gertrude felt she was betraying her people. Magda was a Jew. Gertrude should put a fellow Aryan before any Jew. Even if that Jew was her friend. But this felt right in her gut, in her soul. This is what Heidi would’ve wanted. 

“Alright. The boots squish my toes, but they’re much warmer than my old ones.” Magda finished dressing and stepped toward the door. She sounded as close to happy as she could, under the circumstances. More uplifted than happy. Like her hard times had been sweetened just a little bit. A small candle of hope lit her heart. A flickering belief that she just might make it, after all. 

“Here. I..I hope this gets you wherever you’re headed. ” Gertrude handed over the canvas knapsack and helped Magda shrug it up over her shoulders. She didn’t know what to say. Goodbye seemed so inadequate. Talking about the past seemed like talking about the future; both were to taboo, too dangerous or painful to voice. Magda trusted her enough to accept her help- that trust stemmed from the trust and love of their childhood years. But Magda didn’t trust Gertrude enough to tell her where she was headed. Gertrude could too easily alert the German authorities about the runaway Jew. 

“Thank you…...I guess not all Aryans are so bad.” Magda faltered over the last part, as if it cost her emotionally to say that. 

Gertrude wondered yet again what all Magda had been through. She opened her mouth to reply when they heard footsteps on the stairs, wooden boards squeaking. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Great stuff!

I have a feeling that, although this might be the last we see of Magda, Gertrude's troubles have only just begun. How long until they find Magda's wet diaper under the pantry? My guess is the end of the next chapter.

[Cute_Kitten]

8 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Great stuff!

I have a feeling that, although this might be the last we see of Magda, Gertrude's troubles have only just begun. How long until they find Magda's wet diaper under the pantry? My guess is the end of the next chapter.

Thanks for commenting.  I always enjoy hearing reader speculations.    Trouble is definitely coming their way, but I don't want to give away any more spoilers than that.   

[Cute_Kitten]

Gertrude froze, but Magda flew into action. She ducked into the cluttered pantry, hiding on instinct. How many times had she hidden like this? Yet again, she reminded Gertrude of a hunted animal. 

Josef appeared. He was a tall, dark shadow in the flickering lantern light. The folded white cloth he held glowed like snow under the moon. “Gertie. What’s going on?”

“J-Josef!” Gertrude’s brain froze. She couldn’t think. Her partially full bladder twinged; she wished she was diapered. 

He came into the kitchen. He wore thick cotton pajamas, wool socks, and a house robe. She blushed when she realized he was holding one of Heidi’s clean, folded diapers she’d left out on the bed. Heidi had had a lot of diapers. Most of them Gertrude gave to Magda, but a few she’d kept for herself.

“Your bedroom door was open. I found this on your bed.” He held up the diaper. 

“G-good morning! I couldn’t sleep a wink. So I-I started cleaning. Those diapers make great dust cloths.” She saw him glance at the pot on the wood stove and the empty bowl. 

“All that cleaning made me hungry. So I had an early breakfast. You know how I love veggie stew. Everyone else is tired of it. But not me. No siree.” Gertrude laughed nervously. Her heart slammed against her ribs. She eyed the diaper longingly, wishing she was wearing it. She’d be calmer if she could just pee herself. 

Josef stared at her like she’d grown another head. Did he suspect something?

“Are you hungry? I can heat you up a bowl. How about some tea? We’re saving the coffee rations for Christmas breakfast, but I traded some eggs for extra tea bags yesterday. Or some warm milk?”

He looked around the room, peering into the shadows. “You’re very jumpy, Gertie. Is anyone hiding here? I heard voices. A little Christmas tryst with a lover, perhaps?”

“Of course I’m jumpy- you scared me half to death! Sneaking around like that. I should slap you upside the head. Scaring people like that. As for the voices, did you hear a man? No. As if. I’m insulted. I was singing. It’s Christmas morning, so I was singing Christmas carols.” Gertrude rounded on him, hands on her hips. She hid her nerves behind a veil of indignation. 

Josef raised an eyebrow. “It sounded more like talking. Then again, you’ve never been able to carry a tune in a bucket.” His tone turned teasing. 

Gertrude’s forced laugh was too high in pitch. She swung at him playfully; he ducked. She grabbed the diaper off him and smacked him with it. “And here I was, going to be nice and offer you some stollen and gluhwein. But if you’re gonna be mean to me…” Why did she keep offering him food like she wanted him to stay? She wanted him to go away. She did it to placate him. Keep him from being suspicious. 

“Gluhwein? Well, it is Christmas morning…” Josef’s eyes lit up at the mention of mulled wine. “Then you have my most sincere and humble of apologies.” He bowed with exaggerated grace, like a grand duke apologizing to a royal princess. 

Gertrude couldn’t help her giggle. This was the Josef she’d grown up with. “Maybe a cup or two.” She teased.

[Wannatripbaby]

Wow. She handled that a lot better than most people do in stories... so far.

[CDfm]

great stuff!  I still don’t have any likes to guve but I can tell you I loved the new additions. Gertrude is doing a good job of handling Josef so far but I am not ready to fully let me breath out just yet. I don’t think I could handle Magda getting caught and turned over from her friends home. I will be watching for more and hopefully have a like to give next time. 

[Cute_Kitten]

On 3/31/2018 at 6:43 PM, Wannatripbaby said:

Wow. She handled that a lot better than most people do in stories... so far.

I guess we could say acting is one of her few skills?  Then again, she also has a lot riding on keeping Josef placated and getting him out of that kitchen.  

 

18 hours ago, CDfm said:

great stuff!  I still don’t have any likes to guve but I can tell you I loved the new additions. Gertrude is doing a good job of handling Josef so far but I am not ready to fully let me breath out just yet. I don’t think I could handle Magda getting caught and turned over from her friends home. I will be watching for more and hopefully have a like to give next time. 

Thanks for the sentiment about the likes.  Likes are very nice and I appreciate them, but I love a comment more.     Oh yes, they really are in the danger zone, especially since it's Josef-who works in a concentration camp- in the kitchen.  I think he'll be harder to fool than any other family member!  And, given his place of employment, we already know what his line of thinking is- if they get caught, there will be no reasoning with him. 

[Cute_Kitten]

He smiled. “Good to see you can still smile. I heard you haven’t since Heidi’s death.” 

Gertrude’s smile turned wooden. “There hasn’t been much to smile about.” 

Josef stepped close then his muscular arms wrapped around her. “You were close with her. We all miss her; she was family.” 

Gertrude laid her head on his shoulder, but his touch wasn’t as comforting as it once was. She could hear the ‘but’ in his voice. “But it’s for the best.” She finished.

He kissed the top of her head and her tangled, unbrushed hair to placate the bitterness in her tone. “I know times have been hard. Just think how much harder they’d be if Heidi was still here.” His voice was gentle, tender. He tried to cushion a hard truth. 

He was right. The truth of his words stung the worst. She remembered what a relief it was to no longer have the added burden of caring for her sister. She pulled away. “I loved her.” 

“We all did.”

Sudden tears blurred her eyes. Gertrude waved a hand at him to silence his words. She forgot she still had the diaper; the thick white cloth fluttered in the air like a flag of surrender. “Gluhwein, right? Let me get you some.” She spun on her heel to fetch a glass and a wine bottle. Her eyes were dry by the time she’d poured him a glass of mulled wine and turned back around. 

Josef had cut off a slice of stollen and chewed it. His face held the same disappointment she’d tasted earlier. 

“Maybe next year will be better.” She held the glass out to him. The thick, dark wine sloshed about looking like blood in the dim light. It made her think of Magda’s words in the barn. Blood seeping from bullet wounds caused by guns like Josef’s rifle. She couldn’t picture her loving cousin shooting someone, even if they were a Jew. Josef shooting Magda dead like her parents. Those thoughts churned her stomach sour. 

“Gertie, what’s wrong? You don’t look so good.” Josef took the glass, set it on the counter, then his big hands grasped her shoulders. She found comfort in the same hands that pulled the trigger. 

“The world’s falling apart. I’m going crazy.” Gertrude shook her head to clear the thoughts away. She forced a shaky smile. “I’m okay. I just need some sleep.” She needed to get Magda away from Josef.

“I know the feeling. I have nights like this. All the boys do. Here, drink.” He held the wine up to her lips, pressing her to drink. 

Gertrude took a sip. The wine only held the barest hint of its usual strong pice, and the wine itself had been watered down to stretch it out. It was almost as bad as the stollen. She stepped back. “It’s late. We should get back to bed. We’ll have to get up soon. You go on ahead. I’ll clean my mess up.” 

“I’ll help.” 

“No, it’s women’s work.” 
“I don’t mind.” 

“I do. I feel bad enough for waking you up.” 

“I can’t leave you alone in your state.” 

“I insist. It’s not much mess. I’m fine.” Gertrude’s heart sped up. Magda was trapped in that pantry until he left. What if she was still in there when everyone got up? 

Josef noticed the wet bar of soap, the pitcher, wash basin and towels on the floor. 

“Oh, the soap? I had a nightmare. Woke up all sweaty. I didn’t wanna wake everyone and use the shower upstairs. So I just freshened up down here. You go back to bed. “

Josef pulled out a chair and sat down. “It’s almost like you want to get rid of me.” His tone was partially teasing as he cut himself another slice of flavorless stollen.

“But I feel bad. You work so hard all year. You got really lucky, able to come home for Christmas. The rest of our cousins aren’t here. You should be resting in your own bed.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep, leaving you like this. Out of all us kids, I was closest with you. You were like my baby sister.”

His words gave Gertrude inspiration. She handed him a wine bottle and smiled. “Okay. You know what would make me feel better? Continue me and Heidi’s Christmas Eve tradition. You take this and go wait for me upstairs in my room. I’ll be up in a minute with cookies. Okay? Please.” She added puppy dog eyes when he hesitated. 

“Oh, alright.” Josef caved under her pout. 

“Yay. We’ll save this Christmas yet.” She just hoped he didn’t find her wet diaper she’d hidden under the bed. Getting Magda out of here was more important. 

“Well, go on.” She shooed while Josef took his good, sweet time getting up. “Get a head start on the wine.” He perked up at that suggestion. 

“Alright, alright. I’m going.” He stood up. “Hey, my coat’s on the floor.” Bottle in hand, he headed for the coat rack. His coat was a dark shadow on the floor. 
 

[Wannatripbaby]

Another fantastic chapter. ♡

This story, with its unusual perspective, put me in a unique frame of mind. And really, I guess that's what I look for in stories: an escape into a new way of thinking.

Keep up the good work, CK.

[Cute_Kitten]

Gertrude almost peed herself. “Ah! I’ll get it. You go on. I wanna surprise you with the cookies.” She reached for the coat, but Josef already picked it up. In the dark, far from the lantern, he didn’t notice the coat bottom was wet.

She stepped in front of the pantry door. Soon as he hung the coat up, she grabbed his arm and tugged. “Come on. One of the cats or dogs probably knocked it over. They’re all in for the night cuz it’s cold.” 

“Someone left the pantry open.” He easily shouldered her aside with his much bigger body. A metal pot clanged into another one, followed by a scuttling noise. They both froze and looked at each other. 

Gertrude forced a smile. “Milky! I bet it’s Milky. Dumb cat, into the pantry again. You know how that cat is. Always getting into things. Knocking stuff over. Maybe she saw a mouse.”

“The pantry should’ve been shut.” 

“I left it open when I got the wash basin out. It’s late. I’m tired. Sue me.” Gertrude ducked under his arm, shut the pantry door, and leaned back against it. “Now, are we going to d wine and cookies or not?”

“Aren’t you going to let the cat out?”

“Um. Yes. After you get moving. You’re holding up production.” 

Josef smiled in amusement. He grabbed the knob and pulled the door hard, knocking Gertrude out of the way. She stumbled, heart in her throat as he stuck his head into the pantry. He was sure to find Magda. Would he take her outside and shoot her? What had she been thinking, dragging her into the house like that? Stupid, careless-

“I don’t see the cat. There’s nothing in here.” 

“Krampus! There he goes! It’s Krampus, not Milky. Hard to see a black cat in the dark!” Gertrude blurted though nothing ran out of the closet. 

“I suppose so.” Josef stepped back. He yawned, then looked in the dark pantry once more, where the lantern’s flickering light didn’t reach. Where Magda hid. Gertrude held her breath, fear squeezing her heart. 

Josef shrugged his big shoulders and shut the pantry door. “Alright, I’m heading up.” He took a swig from the wine bottle. 

“I’m getting the cookies. I’ll be up in a minute.” Gertrude waited until Josefl left and she heard his big feet on the squeaky steps. She grabbed the lantern and tiptoed to the pantry. Even with the lantern in hand, she didn’t see Magda right away. “He’s back in bed. The coast is clear.” She whispered. 

Even then, Magda didn’t respond right away. Gertrude thought she might be paralyzed with fear. “It’s safe. I promise. But he won’t wait for long- he thinks I’m coming up soon.” 

Magda’s head popped up from the same hiding place as before. “I thought he was going to find me. I ducked down some more when I heard him by the door. The bag hit a stack of pots.” She whispered as she slipped past Gertrude and tiptoed to the door. 

Gertrude followed. She tried to hand Magda the lantern, but Magda shook her head. “People will see it. Too dangerous.” She tightened the scarf around her neck and slid the old mittens on. Gertrude opened the big door for her. Magda hesitated at the screen door, about to step out into the Christmas cold. She whirled around and quickly hugged Gertrude. 

Just like she used to as a child. For a moment, Gertrude was swept back to childhood. They were kids again- Magda sneaking out of the house after playing with her and Heidi. Except these adult games had deadly consequences. 

After a moment, Gertrude hugged her back. Magda pulled away. “The world’s falling apart, but we’ll always be friends.” Gertrude repeated a long forgotten childhood promise. Magda smiled faintly, then headed out into the winter night. Gertrude didn’t know if Magda believed her or not. 

She stood at the door and watched Magda go. Magda huddled into the scarf and coat against the December wind. Snow still fell; soon it would cover her tracks. Gertrude didn’t feel like she was losing a friend or being left behind. Her heart filled with a warm glow she hadn’t felt in a long time. She’d lost Heidi, but she’d saved Magda. Lost her sister but saved a friend. She was sure Heidi was smiling down from heaven. Hope even in the darkest of times...maybe that was the gift the Christ child brought into the world. 

She didn’t know where Magda was headed, though she had a guess. She thought of Magda’s uncle who’d fled to America. Magda had lost everything in Germany. Part of her kin lived on in America. Surely Magda was headed there. Gertrude didn’t know if she’d make it or not. She didn’t know what the future would bring, for either of them. They’d each face their futures on their own, but they’d have each other in their hearts. Gertrude had her sister in her heart, as well. That love, that strength, would get them through whatever daybreak brought.

 

~The End~