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I live with my dad and my step mom and They have walked in while I was in my little space and are now threatening to kick me out.

I have nowhere to go and not enough one to get a room like  a extended stay hotel at  this time , no food ,no blankets, no transportation although I do have a job  

What do I do can anybody help me  I am in Acworth Georgia .:60_EmoticonsHDcom:  

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Ok my step mom walked in the room she saw me laying on the couch watching Netflix while playing with my stuffed bear  and she asked me why I had it  so I told her that it is for  comfort and that it helps me to unwind and that it was a Christmas gift then she said I don't care who sent it your not going to have baby paraphernalia here so I said ok I'll put it in storage and she said that she is going to talk to my dad about this  so I really feel like this is going downhill from here. When I first moved to Georgia i told them that  I am AB/DL  and they seemed  to be ok with it as long as I kept to myself  until now  I honestly don't see a reason for them to kick me out but it's their house what can I do?

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You said it.  It's their house.  You have to live under their rules even though you are an adult.  Period.  True, I see no harm in a stuffed teddy bear.  I suspect there is something you aren't telling us.  Were you acting like a baby?  Did you have a diaper on?  Did she see it?  If she saw you playing at being a baby with a teddy bear, yeah, she was most likely shocked and upset.  Tell me, at age 28 what do you do for a job, as far as how many hours a week you work, how much you get paid an hour and all.  Do you pay your parents any rent?  That still won't entitle you to do as you want in their house unless you have a landlord/tenant lease that spells things out including the fact that you must be present and have advanced notice if they need to get into your room, which you can keep locked.  Having such a lease would depend on weather your parents would agree to such a thing or say, "No way.  Live by or rules, share household expenses or get your butt out".  How do you spend your money?  What percentage to you put in savings?  It seems to me at age 28 and with a job you should have saved enough for a second hand car and the insurance.  If you don't have enough for even an extended stay hotel room, you either need to find a better paying job if you can, save more of your money and spend it less on things you may just want, or work more hours.  Clarifying that.  If you have a job that pays minimum wage, in your spare time look for other job opportunities that pay more.  If you only work part time, look for full time employment.  If you spend your money on video games, concerts, drinking at the bar, personal things you can do without, cut way back and start banking some money.  Until you have saved enough up for a place of your own even if you rent, you are not independent and are at their mercy.  DO WHAT THEY SAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT BECAUSE RIGHT NOW IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!  Even then, they can decide to kick you out for whatever reason at any time.  It may be that your step mom just wants you out for some reason period, it may be they feel it's time you made your own way at age 28.  Maybe they are trying to teach you a lesson if they don't think you are working to better your life situation and squandering your money on personal items instead of being thrifty and planning for your own future.  Maybe they think you should be doing something more than laying around watching Netflix.  I'm not saying they have a valid point at all since I don't know the situation.  Regardless, you seem to be in a situation now that puts you at their mercy.  Until you get yourself in a situation where you can financially move to your own place and be self sufficient, even if you have a roommate or two to share a place with and share rent and expenses, you have to do what they say no matter if you are an adult or strongly disagree.  It rakes a lot to become independent.  Good enough job to earn enough money for rent, utilities, food, furnishings, unexpected emergencies, taxes, insurance and basically be the boss and control living on your own.  It's not easy (nothing worthwhile in life is) but totally worth it, especially when you are not at the mercy of being told what to do anymore by your parents.  It takes hard work and a commitment and you can't always just do what you feel like doing when you have the responsibilities of having to work to earn enough to live and house yourself.  I also don't think (it sounds like you are hinting about this) that a member here will invite you to move in with them.  With all due respect, it doesn't sound like you would be an asset in helping pay expenses or being able to get to and from your job without your own transportation.  I wish you well.  Help comes in many forms.  Personal help and also advice.  My advice is pretty clear here although a hard message and probably not one you were hoping to hear.

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@rusty pins absolutely hit the nail on the head, and yes, it is extremely hard to hear sometimes.  My boyfriend nearly got kicked out of his father's house (his father felt he was taking advantage of living there) until they laid out ALL the expenses and his father understood that: a minimum wage job + car + gas (because they live 30min from most places of work) + car insurance + health insurance + student loans + misc expenses =/= stable apartment renting, considering most of the people who were willing to rent with him were not trustworthy when it came to money and paying debts on time.  He did pay money towards home expenses and food on the other hand, so at very least he was able to hand over about $50 per week based on how good or bad the hours were.  I'd also like to add that his area was terrible on full time jobs, especially if you aren't skilled or know a guy.   But I digress...

I am currently your age, a ripe young 28, so I feel I can partially relate.   I say partially because I'm not sure about your area, past history, or wages.  I've been employed full time for 6 years at a supermarket chain, pushing $16.  Part time is $9 for perspective.  I have owned my own trailer that I've spent about $30k on, and I pay rent/utilities of about...$1k a month, and additional funds on credit cards and loan payments for renovating my little place into something livable. I bought it without running water, a hole in the floor, and in dire need of fireproofing.  I did all of this over the past 3 years by cutting back in every way possible so I could be comfortable now.  I've slept on the floor without a proper floor, I've had no working plumbing/toilet for a month, and for a week I used an oven to keep myself warm while the heat was getting activated!

I'll also admit that not everyone gets here overnight.  You need a sizeable amount of funds to get an apartment, but usually less to sublet.  A credit score is a must for many places to live, as are occasionally referrals.  I'm not saying by any stretch of the word that moving out is simple and can be done overnight.  But if you're coming to conflicts with the others living with you, then it means the time is right, and researching options is important.

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Yes she saw me in full baby mode I was dressed in a diaper and a onesie  playing with my stuffed and went off  the deep end but I do remember saying in my previous post I mentioned ( while I was in my little space ) I thought I had all that covered. I do see your point their house their rules. I work at Folks Southern Kitchen here in Georgia I make $8.50 per hour. I work as a dishwasher. Mabe I need to leave and find my own place where I dont have to being walked in on

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Do you pay rent?

If you pay rent to your parents then they have no right to go into your room without asking no matter what you are doing in there (as long as you aren't trashing the place). If you don't pay rent then I don't know what to say. They shouldn't suddenly come into your room but parents get used to doing it when you are a child and it can be a hard habit to break.

If you don't pay rent I would certainly offer to pay something in exchange for some privacy in your room.

The phrase "Their house, their rules" come into play... I think it's bad that they would infringe on your privacy but really they can do whatever they like inside their home. I wouldn't want to do it to my son but at the same time I don't think I could complain if my parents did it to me when I lived at home.

You know your parents better than anyone else so what I'll say next is advice that may or may not be relevant. It might be difficult but speaking to them may help, explaining what you were doing and why and answering their questions. They may not be the type of people to listen so I wouldn't tell you to do that for sure but if you think explaining to them what's going on it may help them. A lot of their initial reaction may have been based on shock since it would have been a very unexpected thing for them to find.

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1 hour ago, Elfy said:

Do you pay rent?

If you pay rent to your parents then they have no right to go into your room without asking no matter what you are doing in there (as long as you aren't trashing the place). If you don't pay rent then I don't know what to say. They shouldn't suddenly come into your room but parents get used to doing it when you are a child and it can be a hard habit to break.

If you don't pay rent I would certainly offer to pay something in exchange for some privacy in your room.

The phrase "Their house, their rules" come into play... I think it's bad that they would infringe on your privacy but really they can do whatever they like inside their home. I wouldn't want to do it to my son but at the same time I don't think I could complain if my parents did it to me when I lived at home.

You know your parents better than anyone else so what I'll say next is advice that may or may not be relevant. It might be difficult but speaking to them may help, explaining what you were doing and why and answering their questions. They may not be the type of people to listen so I wouldn't tell you to do that for sure but if you think explaining to them what's going on it may help them. A lot of their initial reaction may have been based on shock since it would have been a very unexpected thing for them to find.

I pay the water bill in place of rent as agreed.  I have talked to them about my little side before when I first moved to Georgia in February I will have been 2 years ago. Maybe  you're right and I'm over reacting a little bit

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Doesn't matter if you pay rent or a substitute for rent, it is still not your house and you have no rights to anything not specifically agreed to. Even when you move out you will find that your lease limits what you can do because it is not your house. Even many owned houses now come with CCR's and an HOA which limits what you can do with your own house. You might as well get used to it because that is how the world works today :huh: You have to follow the rules whether you like it or not. The only alternative is finding a situation where the rules suit you, and that means paying whatever that costs you :whistling:

For about 15 years I could not have any money left after paying the bills unless I had a roommate. I was lucky in getting good ones, but even then that didn't come without problems. Life is never perfect and many times you get no good options to choose from, only bad ones which you will not like :crybaby: At 28 you're young enough to be working or seeking work at least 16 hours a day unless you're still in school. You have to chase money with everything you've got or someone else will get that money and not you. And until you've got enough money to cause life to be the way you want it to be then you'll have to live the way someone else makes you live. Children want to rush into adulthood because they  see it as freedom, when in reality it is less free than being a child :o And unless you can find someone willing to take you in as a child, you're going to have to be an adult for whatever time that takes to do what you have to in order to just survive, much less live :( If you think it's bad now, consider what it would be like to be homeless, which is what you're risking by pushing the limits or not following the rules which have been set down for you. That ain't being smart now is it?

Welcome to life where it can suck badly and sometimes does. Everyone else has to deal with it and so do you. We can manage so you can manage too, so take that thought with you and seek your goals knowing that they are going to take more work, more time, and more heartache to achieve than you want them to, but they are still worth the effort because you're worth the effort B) 

Bettypooh

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8 hours ago, Rift The husky said:

Yes she saw me in full baby mode I was dressed in a diaper and a onesie  playing with my stuffed and went off  the deep end.  I do see your point their house their rules. I work at Folks Southern Kitchen here in Georgia I make $8.50 per hour. I work as a dishwasher. Mabe I need to leave and find my own place where I dont have to being walked in on

I thought something was missing.  She saw you in diapers and a onesie.  She freaked out.  Working as a dishwasher for $8.50 an hour isn't going to allow you to find a place of your own, but it may allow you enough to rent a room in someone else's house.  If it comes to that, have a clear lease and know what your rights are and what you are allowed in another person's house.  They still have rights because you are living in their house and have to abide by the rules they layed out in any renter's agreement, but not being family or parents they wouldn't have any preconceived opinions of your AB lifestyle.  Their home, their rules but your lifestyle as long as you do it in your rented room and it's not in violation of your signed lease.  Look for a higher paying job in your off hours.  A restaurant dishwasher is an entry level low end job that people who have no skills, new immigrants or low education often take because they have no other options.  Not to offend the dishwashers here.  If you have to, take a part time extra job for more money in order to be able to afford a room of your own somewhere out from under your parent's thumbs.  People say money isn't everything, but the lack of money isn't anything!  You don't have to be rich, but you do have to make enough to live.

By the way, once you get to the point you are earning enough to rent a room in someone else's house, you may think you have a little leverage with your parents.  You may wonder how will they react to the extra expense out of their pocket for the water bill each month.  You have to keep a few other things in mind.  How much is it costing them for extra electricity, food and other things you add to their living expenses?  Probably more than the water bill you pay.  They may also figure if you can afford to buy yourself diapers and baby clothes like onesies, you can afford to pay them more expense money each month.

1 hour ago, Bettypooh said:

Doesn't matter if you pay rent or a substitute for rent, it is still not your house and you have no rights to anything not specifically agreed to. Even when you move out you will find that your lease limits what you can do because it is not your house. Even many owned houses now come with CCR's and an HOA which limits what you can do with your own house. You might as well get used to it because that is how the world works today :huh: You have to follow the rules whether you like it or not. The only alternative is finding a situation where the rules suit you, and that means paying whatever that costs you :whistling:

 At 28 you're young enough to be working or seeking work at least 16 hours a day unless you're still in school. You have to chase money with everything you've got or someone else will get that money and not you. And until you've got enough money to cause life to be the way you want it to be then you'll have to live the way someone else makes you live. Children want to rush into adulthood because they  see it as freedom, when in reality it is less free than being a child :o And unless you can find someone willing to take you in as a child, you're going to have to be an adult for whatever time that takes to do what you have to in order to just survive, much less live :( If you think it's bad now, consider what it would be like to be homeless, which is what you're risking by pushing the limits or not following the rules which have been set down for you. That ain't being smart now is it?

Welcome to life where it can suck badly and sometimes does. Everyone else has to deal with it and so do you. We can manage so you can manage too, so take that thought with you and seek your goals knowing that they are going to take more work, more time, and more heartache to achieve than you want them to, but they are still worth the effort because you're worth the effort B) 

Bettypooh

As usual, Bettypooh speaks wisely!  Take heed of the goo advice offered by older people here who have lived it and have experience in life's quirks, situations and setbacks.

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19 hours ago, Rift The husky said:
19 hours ago, Rift The husky said:

 walked in the room she saw me laying on the couch 

i told them that  I am AB/DL  and they seemed  to be ok with it as long as I kept to myself  until now  I honestly don't see a reason for them to kick me out but it's their house what can I do?

Confusion about this part.  Laying on the couch:   couches are usually in common rooms unless the house bedrooms are larger than normal.  If the couch is in a common room, then you Did NOT keep it to yourself.  Honestly, it doesn't matter on the detail.  Keeping it to yourself means to not do it anywhere around them which would include their house. People might be okay with hearing something, but they don't want to see it or the after effects either.  If you manage to skim by this time, surely you understand this and so long as you live with them, refrain from giving them reasons to be upset.  Maybe you should start focusing on getting a better job or a better education depending on your situation.  

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2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:
2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Can we get an update? Have they said anything to you yet?

I had a talk  with them about the situation  and they agreed to let me stay but under one condition that I have to put all my stuff into a storage unit or in the trash.

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11 minutes ago, Rift The husky said:

I had a talk  with them about the situation  and they agreed to let me stay but under one condition that I have to put all my stuff into a storage unit or in the trash

I'm sorry to hear that, bro. But perhaps it is for the best. It'll help motivate you to get your life together.

I mean, I'm not trying to judge you, but there are only a few reasons you should be still living with your parents at 28:

1: You're trying to get a better education (Like my sister.)

2: You have some kind of disability that prevents you from living a normal life.

3: You're taking care of them because they can't take care of themselves & you don't want to send them to a nursing home.

If there's some other reason that pertains to your situation please tell us what it is. Like I said, I'm not trying to condemn you, but I'm not going to blindly take yourside either.

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45 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

Confusion about this part.  Laying on the couch:   couches are usually in common rooms unless the house bedrooms are larger than normal.  If the couch is in a common room, then you Did NOT keep it to yourself.  Honestly, it doesn't matter on the detail.  Keeping it to yourself means to not do it anywhere around them which would include their house. People might be okay with hearing something, but they don't want to see it or the after effects either.  If you manage to skim by this time, surely you understand this and so long as you live with them, refrain from giving them reasons to be upset.  Maybe you should start focusing on getting a better job or a better education depending on your situation.  

Ok  I will try to clear this up. I was in the media room with the door closed when I was walked in on. The room is just about the same measurement of a small bedroom or office so I thought I would be ok with the door closed just to find that I was mistaken also this is the room that they gave me. 

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15 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I'm sorry to hear that, bro. But perhaps it is for the best. It'll help motivate you to get your life together.

I mean, I'm not trying to judge you, but there are only a few reasons you should be still living with your parents at 28:

1: You're trying to get a better education (Like my sister.)

2: You have some kind of disability that prevents you from living a normal life.

3: You're taking care of them because they can't take care of themselves & you don't want to send them to a nursing home.

If there's some other reason that pertains to your situation please tell us what it is. Like I said, I'm not trying to condemn you, but I'm not going to blindly take yourside either.

I am at home living with my parents to help me get a place of my own and a car. This may or may not be a valid reason but this is why I'm still living with  my parents. 

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I'm just glad that this is over and done with and I definitely don't want to have history repeat itself so I just won't regress  at the house anymore  that's a sacrifice I'm just going to have to make lesson learned

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1 hour ago, Rift The husky said:

I'm just glad that this is over and done with and I definitely don't want to have history repeat itself so I just won't regress  at the house anymore  that's a sacrifice I'm just going to have to make lesson learned

Good for you! It takes a strong man to admit he needs to change. :)

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Living with the parents in their home when in your 20's is something many people do these days, for several reasons.  Even the parent's know it is a way for "WORKING KIDS" to save money from their salary to pay off student loans or else to "BANK IT" so they can afford a home later on and not have to rent and keep moving from one place to another.  Not to keep going back to one specific point here, but how long have you been working and have you been working steady since high school?  I started work myself when I was 18 and that was a year or so later than most of my classmates in high school who had jobs.  By the time I was 28 in 1987 I was making $14 an hour plus overtime pay, which back then (30 years ago) was a pretty decent wage.  My last good job 12 years ago I was making $25 an hour with 401K and benifits, still a pretty good wage at the time.  I bought my first brand new car in 1979, right off the showroom floor.  I had been working for 2 years and still living with my parents in their house.  I was banking money along with sometimes working up to 60 or more hours a week.  Usually I worked a 40+ hour week when minimum wage was only $2.30 an hour.  I not only saved and bought a brand new car (it was not an expensive model, 2 door sedan and modest), but banked money for many reasons.  If you somehow lose your job you need money to live on until you get another job.  Emergencies as well.  You never know what will happen.  You feel a lot safer when you have some money banked.  Your neck isn't streached way out there.  I went from flipping burgers as my first job out of high school to working in a grocery store, to printing and then sales when I was 34 years old.  The thing is, I don't know when you started working your job and how long you have been working.  If you started work at the age I started, 18, and have worked continuously, you should have well earned enough for a decent second hand car by now living with your parents, even paying rent (water bill) each month.  I can't help but wonder where your money went to each week if you were working full time for the past 8 or more years and living with your parents and have no car. 

I'm glad you learned some lessons by this and will make the sacrifice to substain from diapers and AB stuff while under your parents house.  Be careful to hold to it because when you are not at home, you know your step mom will be going through your room and your stuff looking for an excuse to kick you out for not holding up your agreement.  Now what you should do is work at least a 40 hour a week job and at better pay than minimum wage.  Ambition!  Life Change!  You can only do what you can, but keep trying to better yourself and your position.  Work your way up from a minimum wage dishwasher to higher paying jobs.  In every job I ever held I went to the top including management with only a 2 year collage degree.  If my job was to do one thing, I would watch others during breaks and slow time and ask about their jobs.  I would ask supervisors if I could learn how to do this and that.  It's not only how you work your way up into better positions but it shows management your ambition to learn.  The more you can do for your employer as far as different jobs within the company, the bigger your value to them is!  If they have to cut back, they will cut back the guy who can do only one job, not the one who can fill in at different positions because he knows and has learned more.  It's a way to move from an entry level job to higher level jobs that pay more per hour within the company.  I've watched people who plod along at their job day after day always ready to leave when the quitting bell rings.  That does not impress management.  Neither does an applicant going for an interview in ragged jeans and a t-shirt with long hair down their back, a tounge stud and lip piercing.  What this all boils down to is my advice for you on bettering your position at age 28 from a low pay dead end dishwasher job with no advancement (anyone off the street can be hired at minimum wage to wash dishes at a restaurant - no job security) to a track that will set you on your way to earning enough money to support yourself independently, bank some and invest and build up a reserve.  What an opportunity you have to sock money away and save it living with your parents instead of having to pay a monthly house payment, gas, electric, water, cable bill, insurance, car payment, groceries and more!  Look at all you can save and put away by living with your parents and only having to pay the water bill each month.  Remember, it's a tough road and it means making sacrafices along the way, but the sooner you become independent with money to live a good life, the sooner you can get back to your diapers and teddy bear without someone telling you you can't do it!

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Glad to hear you have found a resolution :thumbsup: Wish it were better but that's life sometimes and you take your wins however they may come B) One of the early shows on 'talk radio' was "Talk Net' by Bruce  Williams, a self-made millionaire who shared business and moral advice with the callers. He put himself through college by working 4 jobs because that is what it took for him to reach his goals. His approach to success is simple: be making income and progress in life  every moment you are awake. Most of us don't do that and that is the main reason most of us are poor (including me) :( His calm intelligent non-political shows were great to listen to and some are still available as podcasts. You should give them a listen to learn how to get what you want from life ;)

An old crossdresser friend of mine got no support from his wife- everything related to that had to be kept fully clear of their home. All his clothes, make-up, and wigs were in a climate-controlled storage unit and when he needed to do his own thing he'd arrange for the places to go- a friend's house, a support group meeting, a hotel room- then he'd go to the storage unit and do the make-over. Not the happiest situation but a workable one which kept him from going off the deep end mentally or losing the home and family which he wanted to keep. It worked only because he made an agreement and he kept his end of the deal faithfully. Something similar may work for you. It's going to have a cost- everything in life does- but if it gets you what you need then it's a good deal and you pay whatever it takes, and you do whatever it takes to get that money :whistling: Nobody said life was easy, and for those of us who are different that is doubly true. But it can be done given enough effort and the only thing limiting it is yourself so get off that sofa and get some happiness because you can :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

 

 

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