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Do parents never change their ways?


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I have never moved out of home (though i do pay at least the amount of money im asked to towards the bills; sometimes even a couple hundred more) and for a long time my mom has always hated that I like diapers 

I have never brought up that I like diapers or made it obvious; going to various lengths to hide it as long as I could

My room looks like a normal room, I have the diapers hidden, I don't ask for her to give me money for diapers or to buy them; or ask her to baby me

But one day she found out and ever since then has expressed her hatred of it and tried to get me to stop (through shame)

For a while I thought we were at the stage where I did my thing privately and she didn't say anything, but last time I was wearing and she was around (not intentional, most weekends she is at her boyfriends place in another city so it will be me and my (24 year old) younger brother) she said she doesn't know why I have to use diapers (in a tone that sounds like she is disappointed).

I don't know when I will move away from home as I have a good thing going here (the money I need to pay towards bills is a fraction of what living in an apartment would cost and I'm not being asked to give up diapers) and living on my own away from home would costs way too much money.

I'm just wondering why the need to question why I use diapers when I hold down a full time job and pay as much or (up to hundreds) more out in bills than I'm asked to, and I'm not asking for anything like money or participation; and will it always be like this?

I know I have it good and I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering if this is a stance parents normally have and if it stays this way.

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It may just be that she is upset knowing that you are wearing diapers when you have no known reason to her for wearing them.

I say this as my mother was also upset when she first found out I was wearing diapers again, she even went out of her way and ordered me two pair of incontence underwear to wear instead.  I thanked her for her effort and consern but told her that the underwear she got for me does not adsorb enough and that diapers are the only thing that I had found that works. 

 

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The only person you can change is you ;) Your parents will tend to remain the same until the change of your moving out happens so if you want their attitude towards your diapers to change that's what you need to do :whistling: And even then there is no guarantee that will change- only there being a better chance of it happening then :mellow:

Bettypooh

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Lots of thoughts here.  First, parents may change over time but never completely.  You are and always will be their kid.  They assume that roll no matter how old you are.  I'm 58, my brother is 62 and my dad will be 98 in a couple months.  To this day my dad will tell me to put on my hat and gloves when I go out in winter, always try and help me doing something or ask if I need help or try to tell me how to do something I have done many times in the past.  Keep in mind my brother and I live with him now my mom has passed to help him out and make sure he doesn't fall (which he has in the past ending up in the emergency room).  The rolls have changed, we help take care of him now but he will always want to look out after us and try and offer advice and help.

It is still your Mom's house and you have to live under her rules, but you do pay rent.  Unless you have a renters agreement spelling everything out (possibly a good idea to have), she can and will go in your room and tell you what she thinks of what you do.  There are pro's and cons on both sides.  As the home owner she has to make sure what goes on inside is abiding by the law.  No fugatives living there (girlfriend staying with you and hiding out from the law, as impossible as that may be), no illegal guns or drugs and all that.

Lets say you have a signed rental agreement.  In that case you can put a lock on your bedroom door and she can't enter without you being there and giving you advanced notice.  You would be just a tenant living by the contract.  Unfortunatly, that could mean a set amount of rent you have to pay by a specific date, utilities and all as well.  You would lose the "family" atmosphere you have now and that might not be worth it.

The other thing you have to keep in mind is what others have touched on.  Your mom just doesn't understand the AB/DL lifestyle and why some people like wearing diapers.  You need to understand that it's not her thing, she is disgusted by the though of it and she has absolutely no idea why someone would choose to go to the bathroom in their pants and wear diapers instead of using a toilet.  I doubt you will ever be able to make her understand that.

This also goes back to "Do parents never change".  Like my dad and mom, they raised me and taught me how to live life the way they live theirs.  I do a good job.  I'm educated, have held high paying jobs in the past, kind to animals and will help people in the store parking lot load their car if they are having trouble doing it.  I let women and elderly folks go ahead of me and hold the door for them.  I never did drugs, smoked and it's rare when I have a beer or mixed drink. 

They raised me well, but that doesn't mean I do everything they want.  My mom was dead set against me getting a shotgun when I was in my early 20's. I did and to this day I am alive (knock wood) and haven't shot myself.  I also wanted to get a pilot's license which she was set against me doing.  I did get my license and while it's not current at the moment, I'm still alive.  Why was my mom set against these things?  It's because it was never anything she wanted to do, she had no interest but most of all, she didn't understand at all anything about it and why I wanted to do it.  I have a cousin who shot his dad accidentally and killed him when he was 13 years old and out hunting.  We also knew people who were killed or hurt badly in small plane crashes.  While these things can happen, it's what my mom remembered and knew of as far as planes and guns.  That made her afraid of what would happen because she didn't understand the whole picture, just what little she knew of from personal experiences.  Once she saw I knew how to safely handle a gun and took great care when flying a plane, she relaxed and it didn't bother her much anymore.  She learned more about those things, how safe I am about it and the extra care I always take to be safe instead of relying on what past experiences she knew of that had happened to others.

Look at your situation.  Your mom has no idea why you want to wear and use diapers.  It's not something she knows that others do, probably she has never heard of anything like it before and she probably feels she failed you and did something wrong in raising you.  She knows nothing about it other than what she may think in her own mind.  To her it's disgusting and unfathomable that you would wet in diapers and possibly poop yourself for enjoyment.  What little she may know about it may be what a lot of adults think.  You are are a pedofile because you want to wear diapers.  I can tell you she will probably get to a point where she maybe tolerates you doing it, but she won't ever accept that you like wearing and using diapers.  You can show here all kinds of material on AB/DL and the lifestyle, but she probably won't read it.  If she does she may understand a little better, but she will never fully accept the fact that you like wearing and using diapers.  She will always feel she failed in some way no matter how much of a saint you are with the rest of your life.  If she does come to grips that it's nothing wrong she did in raising you, then it will all be on you for your "disgusting behavior".  I doubt there is much you can do about it other than ignore her comments and try to get along well with everything else.

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The only thing I can advise you is to be honest with your parents. I know I told mine, not that I needed too but I felt they worried about my wellbeing, and frankly, I have no regrets doing that. True, you can’t compare one parent to the other but if the relationship between you all is ok, I think you have little to worry about even though it is nerve wrecking. If all is well parents want the best for their children both physically and mentally and I guess age doesn’t matter a whole lot as it comes to the wellbeing of one’s children. To my personal opinion it works both ways if you know you parents worry about you, you can’t leave them hanging. I know you’re an adult but you’re also their child and if you live under their roof it means certain rules and mutual respect come into play.

The way it seems to me they will have a lot of questions if they know you wear diapers and use them without a medical reason to do so. When I told my parents I prepared well, took the time to do so and I kept the story to myself, only telling things related to my situation and only telling thing they could take in at that time. I.e. I am a diaper lover so I kept everything out related to the adult baby side of our life style, for it wasn’t me and still isn’t. I solely told them about me, I emphasized what it did for me and effected my personal wellbeing (In a positive way) even though it can be a roller-coaster ride from time to time. Further I made it absolutely clear that they didn’t fail me or it was not their fault in anyway. Last but not least I made them clear it had nothing to do with little children but all with a desire that dwells within me. In the end you are the only one who can make them understand if that is what you desire to do. If you find they start searching for information on the internet you are probably better off telling your personal story yourself. That way you can prevent them from taking in wrong information or information which is absolutely not related to you. I guess we all know internet can be a source for some very good information, but there is also a lot of crap to be found, You don’t want that. Last but no least you can move out, that way you can live by your own rules but that doesn’t necessarily means they stop worrying about you.

These are just my thoughts and experience.

 

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Well to put it simply I would be fine with a "don't ask don't tell" kind of thing as that's basically already how it is to me 

I know she means well and we help each other out financially

I also know she may never understand this ABDL lifestyle - Well for me it's less of a lifestyle and more of a convenience that happens to feel good and relieve stress; she should know I've handled my stress a lot worse in the past with self harm and on a couple occasions drinking to the point of blacking out (though at home so I couldn't somehow get in trouble because of it it)

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