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Surrogate Baby

Chapter One: My New Car

Beth, we bought you that car so you can get away from Peter and come home,” my mother said over the phone. It was a pre-paid phone, the phone that Mother bought for me when she came to visit last week and saw how Peter treated me. I still think she overreacted to my two black eyes. It was my fault. Peter had found dust on the top of the refrigerator.

I can’t today,” I said. “It’s only Thursday. Laundry day isn’t until Tuesday and I have nothing to wear.”

Your father and I don’t care what you wear,” my mother said. “Just throw something on.”

I thought of the heavy padlock Peter had put on my bedroom closet. I couldn’t get to my clothes or my shoes. Even the clothes in my dressers were locked away from me. Only the drawer with my negligees was unlocked. Peter didn’t permit me clothing while he wasn’t around. I did have a pair of my jeans and a t-shirt in the dirty clothes basket, but that too was locked in the closet. I would not have access to it until Tuesday when I was to wash Peter’s and my clothes.

He locks the closet doors. I got to wait until Tuesday if I want to wear something besides lingerie on my great escape, Mother.”

He has you running around the house in your underwear?” Mother’s tone was angry.

Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll be home on Tuesday after I finish the laundry.”

Fine, but don’t tell him about the car.”

I won’t.” I heard the front door rattle and quickly hung up and put the phone in its plastic bag and buried it in the flour canister on the kitchen counter.

I did it just in time because Peter returned from work. “Is dinner ready?” he asked.

Almost,” I said. I put on a weak smile. Mother’s call had delayed me and Peter expected dinner to be ready immediately when he got home. I ran to the oven and pulled out the casserole I had started and put it on the table. I ran back to the cupboard and quickly opened a can of fruit and poured it in a serving dish. I put that on the table as well. “Dinner is ready now,” I said.

He didn’t sit down. “When did I say dinner needed to be ready?” he asked.

I looked down at my feet. “When you walk through the door,” I said.

And it wasn’t ready. Go get the belt.”

I turned and ran to the bedroom and got the thick leather belt that Peter punished me with when I did bad things. I held it in my hands and imagined what that belt would do to me. I then turned and slowly walked back to Peter and handed him the belt.

Assume the position.”

I unfastened my negligee and let I float to a pool around my ankles. After that I pulled down my panties and bent over. I closed my eyes and held my ankles as tight as I could. If I fell over while I was getting my beating, Peter wouldn’t stop.

You delayed dinner by fifteen minutes,” he said. He always calculated the time the spanking took with the actual delay. I heard the belt swish through the air and whack against my bared buttocks. I almost fell over and tried to get back into position. Two more spanks came and quick succession. One hit square on my bottom, but the other hit the back of my legs. I cried out with a shriek, but it did no good. I would get my fifteen licks no matter what I did.

Four more spanks fell before I lost my balance. I fell forward, but tried to scramble back up. The beating didn’t stop. I took the last eight spanks on the ground before he finally stopped.

Through my tears, I watched him sit down at the table and start eating. I wanted to stay on the floor, but I knew I better stand by in case he asked for something. I didn’t dare sit down and eat my meal because I was always banned from eating when I had a before meal spanking.

So, did you get all the other chores done today, or will we revisit the paddle,” he asked.

I scrubbed the bathroom, and dusted and vacuumed the front two rooms.”

Good,” he said. “Go to our room and wait for me there.” I knew that he was going to pretend for the rest of the day that he hadn’t hit me. It was then that my cellphone rang.

Peter stood up and followed the sound of my phone to its place in the flour container. Who could be calling me? I thought. Only Mother had my phone number and she wouldn’t call me because it would give me away. He dug into the flour and pulled out my phone. “What’s this?” he asked. “Are you getting calls from a secret boyfriend?”

He answered the phone and put it on speaker. To my horror, it was a man’s voice. “Vote for me this November because your vote is important to us.” I sighed with relief when I found it to be just a robocall for the election.

He threw the phone at me and I dodged. The phone hit the kitchen floor and shattered. “Where did you get this phone?” he yelled. He picked up the flour canister and threw it at me as well. It grazed the side of my head and broke against the leg of the table. The plastic bag holding the car keys lay next to me and I tried to grab it before he saw it but it was too late.

Pain radiated from my hand as he stomped on it so hard I had to let go of the keys. He kept kicking me harder and harder. Then he picked up the keys and then grabbed my face to look at him.

Where did you get the keys?” he asked.

I had no choice but to tell the truth. “Mother left me a car to get away from you. She thinks you hurt me too much.”

He got a panicked look on his face for a moment. “I’m so mad at you, that I need to calm down. I am going to leave for a bit and when I come back, I will punish you in such a way that you will never leave. He took my keys and slammed the door.

He was angry and he would be even worse when he came back drunk and the mess would infuriate him. I looked around to survey the mess, but blood started dripping into my eyes. My hand hurt bad as well. I still needed to clean up the mess, so I crawled toward the flour mess and collapsed.

###

 

Bang, bang, bang!” came a sound from the door. I must have blacked out but the banging woke me. There was a pool of blood on the floor. I was still naked from my beating and surrounded by spilled flour and broken pottery. I got up and tried to get to the door. I knew that Peter would apologize and take me to the hospital soon and I was feeling pretty dizzy when I stood. I tried to open the door, but my hand hurt so bad. It looked purple and swollen. I tried the other hand. It was even worse.

Bang, bang, bang!” I couldn’t grip the doorknob. I heard yelling outside. “This is the police, we know you are in there?”

The police were here? I had to hide. If they saw me like this then they might find out Peter had hit me and he would go to jail. I turned toward the kitchen to hide from them. Before I could find a hiding place, there was a crack as the wood splintered and two policemen entered the house. They saw the blood, the flour, the mess, and me.

Ma’am, are you all right?” the first cop said. “Just sit down.” I knew better than to disobey. The second cop ran out of the house.

What happened?” he asked.

I fell down the stairs,” I said.

That is bullshit,” he answered.

I just looked at him. I did not dare argue either.

The second cop returned with a first aid kit. He pulled out some gauze and tried to pull it toward my head. I put my arms up to shield myself, but he bypassed them and started soaking up the bleeding on my head. “She needs stitches,” he said.

The first cop asked, “How did you get all the way back here? And where are your clothes.”

I was confused. “From the kitchen? I crawled.”

How did you get all the way back here from the accident scene?” he asked.

Oh,” I said. I almost slipped with my story about falling down the stairs. “I crawled up the stairs and accidently knocked the flour over.”

That is bullshit. We just came from the scene of the accident. Your boyfriend is dead. Your car is totaled and you are covered in blood.”

What?” Peter was dead and my new car was totaled? “He didn’t take my little Ford Fiesta?” I heard sirens in the distance and shivered. I was very cold all the sudden. It started getting dark. Not dark. I had just passed out.

###

I woke up in a soft bed in a very bright hospital room. I looked down at myself. I wore only a hospital gown. Both my hands felt very heavy and I lifted my arms up to see why. Both hands were wrapped in plaster. I put them down on the bed and looked around the room.

There was a TV in the corner, but it was off. I lay in a bed with rails on the sides. Beside me was a table with a button on the corner that looked like a doorbell. The walls were all white. To my left was a huge window, but the drapes were shut. On the right were windows, but they led into a hall. It was bright out there too.

A nurse walked in. It was Patricia. I recognized her from the last time I was in the hospital. That time was from a broken arm. “Good,” she said. “You are awake.” She took my blood pressure and then looked at the top of my head. My head felt cold. “You poor thing,” she said.

How bad is it this time?” I asked. I wondered if it was more than stitches and my hands.

You had big gashes in your head. The doctor had to give you a bit of a haircut before he could give you stitches. Your hands will take at least three months before we can get the casts off and then you will need some physical therapy.”

You cut my hair?” Peter loved my long hair and wouldn’t be happy if it were cut.

She held a mirror for me. The doctor had completely shaved my head with clippers. An ugly black X from stitches crossed the top of my head. I looked hideous. I started to cry.

Don’t worry, baby,” the nurse said. “Your hair will grow back and cover the scar and no one will know.”

But Peter will be angry,” I wailed.

Peter died in the car wreck,” she said. “Don’t you remember? I say it serves him right. He was always beating you and then bringing you here.”

I fell down the stairs,” I said. “That’s mean of you to tell me Peter died and that he deserved it.”

Five times in the last year?” she asked.

Yes,” I said. I knew she didn’t believe me. None of the times in the hospital were from falling down the stairs.

Well, you better tell the cops the truth this time,” said Patricia. “They think you were in that car with your boyfriend and that you fled the scene of an accident. That is pretty serious.”

I knew I was in big trouble.

Chapter Two: Nowhere to Go

Maybe I should have taken Patricia’s advice. I stuck to my story about falling down the stairs and now I was being charged with leaving the scene of an accident. Also, Peter managed to run into some poor pregnant lady and she lost her baby. Since Peter was dead, they couldn’t blame the person who was really responsible. Peter’s mother blamed me because Peter would have never got into my car and drove it to the bar if I hadn’t made him angry. I had felt guilty about that, but the councilors at the woman’s shelter where I moved into after I got out of the hospital convinced me that it was not my fault. My own mother was upset with me about letting Peter know about the car and she changed her mind about me moving back home. I also had court that day. I had to face the woman whose baby Peter killed and convince her that I was not responsible.

Today was also my last day at the shelter. My abuser, Peter, was no longer a threat to me since he was dead. I couldn’t return home, and I couldn’t go back to Peter’s house. Peter’s mother had inherited the house and told me that I was not allowed near the place ever again. I couldn’t even get my clothes although it was only one pair of jeans, a few T-shirts, and lots of lingerie.

I slid off the sweats I wore daily. There were the only things I could pull up and down so I could go to the bathroom. I looked down at the bed and the pantsuit I found in the professional interview closet they had at the shelter. My roommate Amy helped get me ready. I looked in the mirror. I looked terrible, but at least my hair was starting to grow. It was about an inch long and the scars were almost covered by my hair. Less than satisfied, I took the bus to court.

###

There were two transfers from the woman’s shelter to the courthouse. I had to drag my duffle with everything I owned in it. By the time I got to the courthouse, I had just enough time to get to the bathroom and pee before court. I entered the first lady’s room and then I knew I was in trouble.

I had to pee so bad and all I could do was stand in front of the toilet and cry. The zipper on the suit pants was on the side, so I couldn’t reach it with both hands when they were in the casts. My broken fingers were held immobile by the plaster and I knew I would wet my pants any second. I crossed my legs and started to cry.

What’s wrong?” a woman asked me.

I got to be in court in five minutes and I got to pee. I can’t get my pants undone.”

Would you like me to help you?” asked the woman.

I crossed my legs tighter and rocked from side to side. “Please help me before I wet my pants.”

She gently undid my pants and pulled down both my pants and my panties. I quickly sat down and started peeing almost as soon as I landed. A second later and I would have been walking into my court appearance with wet pants. I wondered how I would get my pants back up. I need not have worried. The lady was still outside the stall when I came out. “Um,” I said.

Sit back down,” she said. She took some toilet paper and helped me wipe. I had been going around with damp panties since I got out of the hospital because I couldn’t wipe very well with my broken hands. “Stand now,” she said. I did and she pulled up my panties and pants. “My name is Violet,” she said. “I know from experience that wet pants aren’t very much fun. When I was pregnant, I had to resort to diapers.”

Oh my goodness,” I said. “Was it that bad?”

It’s not that bad,” said Violet. She had sadness in her eyes.

Well, thank you,” I said. “I got to run and get to court.”

###

Whoever said, ninety percent of success is being there never was in court. I was grilled cross examined and then yelled at by a judge and several lawyers. I was also told that I was worthless and deserved to go to jail. I was used to being told I was worthless though. Peter made that clear to me.

Then Violet entered the courtroom and took the stand. What was she doing? “So can you tell us what happened?”

I was in my car driving on Beaumont Ave and this car came from nowhere and crossed the centerline and hit me. My airbag when out and then...,” she said and then paused. “It hit my abdomen and I lost...” She paused again. “...I lost my baby.” She started to cry.

No further questions,” said the prosecutor.

My lawyer went to the stand and asked her the most intelligent question of his career. “How many people did you see in the car?”

I don’t know,” she said. “It was too dark.”

You didn’t see anyone get out of the car?”

No,” she said.

I have no more questions, ma’am. You may step down.”

Finally it was my turn to speak. I got up and went to the stand. Violet made eye contact with me and gave me a dirty look. I was nervous up on the stand. I had to pee really bad all the sudden. I was about to pee myself, I was so scared. However, my lawyer just asked me to say what happened. I am happy to say that I told the truth.

...And I woke up and the cops were pounding on my door,” I said.

So you didn’t leave the accident?”

No, sir.”

You weren’t even at the accident?”

No sir,”

No further questions.”

I started to get up.

I am going to cross examine you,” said the opposing lawyer. “We found your blood in the car. Do you care to explain that?”

He kicked me in the head before he left.”

Sure. So where did you get those injuries. You had head trama.”

The flour canister,” I said. “He threw a flour canister at me.”

That sounds pretty violent. Strange that your boyfriend didn’t have a record of battering women.”

Because it was my fault he hit me. I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and had to be punished. That’s why I couldn’t say anything. If I did he would go to jail and I would have no one.”

She knows the right words to say. Of course she did because she lived in a woman’s shelter the past few months,” said the prosecuter. “You may step down now,” he told me.

I retreated back to the table and sat down.” That didn’t go as well as I planned. It went worse when the jury came back with a verdict. I was found guilty of leaving the scene of an accident. I sat there and cried. I couldn’t go to jail. I didn’t know what to do.

Relax,” said my lawyer. “You might only get probation and have to pay restitution.”

I looked up at the judge. “Two years probation and twenty-five thousand in restitution to your victims,” he said. “You need to have a job, a play to live, and make progress on paying your restitution or else I will put you in jail for the full six years of your sentence.”

I had nothing. No job or income and as of tonight I was homeless. I couldn’t pay the restitution no matter if it were twenty-five dollars or twenty-five million. I continued to cry and just left the courtroom. I had to pee really bad, but I had no one to help me with my zipper, so I just left to walk as far as I could.

I didn’t make it far. The urge to pee got worse and worse. Everything seemed closed. I was going to have to find a place soon. I felt some dribble into my panties. It wouldn’t be long now. I tried to get into and ally and then I went for the zipper. No luck. I couldn’t get my plaster covered fingers to grip the zipper hard enough so it wouldn’t slip when I pulled it down. Suddenly I started peeing. It was broad daylight and I was peeing my pants in public. The gray material of my pants was getting darker around my crotch and now my inseams. I peed until I was empty. I was so embarrassed. However, I had to leave the ally to find a bathroom and change. I still had sweats in my duffle bag. I left the ally and started to walk. It was obvious that I peed my pants.

A car stopped beside me. It was a blue Mercedes. The passenger side window came down and there was Violet, the lady whose baby Peter had killed with my car. “Do you need a ride?” she asked.

No,” I said.

You look like you had an accident,” she said.

I did,” I said.

Climb in the backseat and we will give you a ride,” said Violet.

I had no choice. I got in and sat on a towel they had on the seat. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry the Peter hurt your family in the accident. I would do anything to make it up if I could.”

Anything?” asked Violet.

Well, yes,” she said.

Your lawyer said you had no income and can’t work for a few more months before the physical therapy can begin. We though you could make up what you own us by being a live-in maid for us.”

I guess,” I said.

Chapter Three: A change in Living Arrangements

Violet and her husband Jeff lived in a large house in a nice neighborhood. I blushed as I saw ever yard almost with people in it. How was I going to get in their house with my wet pants?

I didn’t worry long. They pulled into the garage. Violet and Jeff got out and Violet opened my door. I stepped out as well. Their garage was beautiful as well. Jeff went in the house, but Violet stopped me.

Take off your wet shoes. I am going to get you undressed and then we can get you a bath. You are pretty smelly,” she said.

Of course I was smelly. I couldn’t shower well. I couldn’t even wipe myself. I was disgusting. I slipped off my shoes and then she undressed my completely before taking me in the house. She not only threw away everything I had on, but she emptied the contents of my duffle bag in a trashcan in the garage.

Hey,” I protested.

Those disgusting sweats and grayed t-shirts and underclothes can go away. I will not have you dressed like a homeless person. She then pulled me by the hand into the bathroom. She sat me on the toilet and left me.

I took advantage of the time by using the bathroom. I thought I had privacy until she came back with two bread bags. She put those on my arms so my casts wouldn’t get wet and then she started a bath for me. She set me in the water and I lay back. “Thank you for everything,” I said.

Well, you really need to be clean. I don’t think you can care for yourself adequately when you are so disheveled.” It was true. When I showered at the woman’s shelter, I could wash my body with bags over my hands. I couldn’t hold the soap well either. My hair suffered. Here, I just lay back in the bath and soaked.

She let me lay in there for a while and then brought a washcloth and started scrubbing me as if I were a baby. It was pretty embarrassing. “Hey. What are you doing?”

I am cleaning you.”

You are treating me like a baby,” I said.

She stood up and turned away. “Thanks to your boyfriend, I can’t treat my baby like a baby,” she said with a sob.

I’m sorry,” I said. She took me in. I should be grateful and not complain. “You may treat me like a baby if you want to.”

Really?” she said. “Do you mean it? I’d like that so much.”

She finished soaping me. Then she rinsed me off. “Your hair is so short,” she said. “It’s almost is baby length.”

The doctor cut it for stitches,” I said. “I had beautiful long hair before.” I stopped. “Well before.”

It’s pretty and blonde,” she said. “I think my baby would have had blonde hair.” She lifted me into a standing position and helped me out of the tub. “Let’s get you dried off.”

I let her dry me, then she left me standing there in the bathroom. She returned a short while later carrying something white and plastic.

Lie down on the floor so I can diaper you,” she said.

What?” I asked. “I’m not wearing diapers.” Sure I wet myself today, but that was an accident.

She looked disappointed and I saw a tear running down her cheek. “But you said I could baby you. You also promised you would do whatever you could to make up for me losing my baby.”

I sighed. I didn’t think she meant that. “Fine,” I said and lay down on the floor. My face felt hot as I lay down and submitted to a diaper change. As soon as it was over I stood up. She put a pink T-shirt on me and then led me down the hall.

I thought I was going to bed, but I was wrong. She sat me on the couch next to her husband Jeff and left the room. “I’m going to make dinner now. Take care of our guest,” she said.

I looked at her husband and he looked at me. He seemed as embarrassed as I was. My t-shirt was long enough to hide the diaper, but I had no pants. I was mortified.

Jeff looked at me. “Are you wearing pants?”

I shook my head. “Violet dumped all my clothes in the trash. She said they were disgusting.”

She’ll get something for you to wear tomorrow then,” he said. He covered me with a blanket from the back of the couch. “I bet you are cold.”

I wasn’t but I took the blanket anyway and covered up. He was probably saving face. I was glad to have something to cover me if the t-shirt rode up.

###

After the ten o’clock news, Violet took me up to my new bedroom. We had eaten in front of the TV before hand and I was tired from my long day.

I stood up and we went upstairs together. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I announced.

Is your diaper wet?” she asked. She reached under my t-shirt to check.

No,” I said as I jumped away. “It will be soon if I don’t get to a bathroom.”

You said you’d be my baby,” she said. “Babies wet their diapers. They don’t announce that they have to use the bathroom.”

But...,” I said.

You promised to let me take care of you,” she said. “If it weren’t for your boyfriend wrecking your car, I would have a baby I could change.”

I crossed my legs and gave her a pleading look.

I’m going to put you to bed when I take you to your room. When I do so, I am going to check your diaper. If it is wet, then I will change you. If not, then I guess you can wait until morning.”

I was stubborn and held it. She took me to the room she picked out for me. It was a baby’s nursery complete with changing table, crib, and mobile. She put down the rail of the crib. Climb in,” she said.

It’s a baby crib,” I protested. “I’m too big.”

Nonsense,” she said. “You at most weigh 115 pounds. Get in.”

I climbed in and she pulled the rail up. “There is no pillow and blanket in here,” I complained.

I’ll get them for you. Don’t leave the crib.”

I lay back and stared at the mobile. This was ridicules. How did I get myself in this situation?

She returned with an adult sized pillow and blanket. I curled up with them. “Are you sure you don’t want to wet your diaper before bedtime? I will change you and you can get a good night’s sleep.”

I’m not going to wet a diaper for you,” I said.

Would you like a nightlight?” she asked.

No,” I said.

She left. I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. After an hour, I woke up with an urgent need to pee. I tried to pull down the rail, but my casts prevented it. Instead, I slowly wet my diaper. It felt very warm and it tickled against my skin. It almost felt pleasant, but I would never admit that. I struggled to get to sleep and didn’t wake up until the sun streamed through my windows.

Chapter Four: Going Out Dressed Like This

I woke up, lying in a puddle. I was soaking wet and my diaper had leaked. I sighed and then tried to sit up. Since it was light, I could see how the mechanism on the rail of the crib worked. However, I couldn’t get my fingers around the latch. “Damn casts,” I muttered. I looked around. There was a clock on the wall over the door. “Eight-thirty.” I hoped the clock was right. “Violet,” I called.

Nothing. I did hear some stirring in the next room, but it didn’t sound like they were coming into my bedroom or rather nursery. I looked down at the diaper. It swelled to become three times as thick and the white looked yellowish and grainy. The blue stripes were missing except for at the top of my waist. My t-shirt was wet around the bottom and up my back. I was uncomfortable.

Violet,” I called again. “I am uncomfortable.”

Violet entered the room from the other room. She was only wearing a robe. “You don’t have to yell. I can hear you over the baby monitor. Besides, babies yell out mommy or cry.”

I am not calling you mommy,” I said.

Then you can sit in the wet diaper until I decide to come in on my own or you can cry.” She turned and left.

I sat there, but I was stubborn. I wasn’t going to call that woman mommy. After sitting in the wet diaper for about twenty minutes, I noticed how cold and clammy it was. I finally gave in and started to cry like a baby. “Wah, wah,” I said into the baby monitor. “Wah, wah.”

Violet entered the room again. This time she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She smiled.

Wah, wah,” I said.

That cry doesn’t sound too convincing.”

This is the best you are going to get,” I said.

Well, it’s a start.” She lowered the crib rail and helped me out. “It looks like you need some clothes, Baby Beth.” She looked into the crib and saw the wet spot. “And better diapers. Never fear about that. I found a medical supply store on Google. We can go there after your bath.” Oh great. I was going to get better diapers, so this meant I was stuck with them.

I needed a bath, so I didn’t argue. Followed her to the bathroom and stood there and let her do what she wanted to me. She first put the bread bags on my casts and pulled off my diaper and t-shirt. Then she sat me down in the tub.

So how long are you going to treat me like a baby?” I asked.

As long as you are staying with us,” she said, “unless you want to work as a maid and keep the house spotless? Until those casts come off though, you will not make an effective maid and I will let your probation officer know how badly you work. So which is it: be my baby or my maid?”

I didn’t relish the idea of wearing diapers and sleeping in a crib, but I liked the idea less of cleaning the house. When I lived with Peter, I was effectively a maid and I got beaten a lot. I would hate that. At least as a baby, I wasn’t beaten. “I’ll be your baby, then,” I said.

She started to scrub me and then stopped. “I almost forgot,” she said. She turned and opened that bathroom cabinet and pulled out a rubber duck and a toy boat. “I have bath toys.” She put them in the water and started scrubbing me. I ignored the toys and concentrated on where she was rubbing me with the wash cloth.

Play with the toys,” she said.

I waved my bread bag covered hands at her. “I can’t really hold onto things.” She gave me her disappointed look, so I added. “Much like a real baby, I can’t hold stuff.”

That seemed to satisfy her. “Well, thanks for accepting this. I know I originally wanted you as a maid because I haven’t been able to keep up the house since the accident. I just lay in bed all day since I was so depressed. Treating you like a baby is better than having a maid. I have to get out of bed to care for you and a maid would just let me sleep in and clean rooms I would never look at.” She rubbed shampoo in my short, fuzzy hair and then rinsed it out by pouring water on my head from a Tupperware pitcher. I remember my mother did that when I was little.

I will try to be your baby then. It is the least I can do.” I didn’t mind wetting the diaper that much. I was being a brat last night, but I was embarrassed.

She drained the tub and told me to stand up. I did and she dried me off and then brushed my hair. “I wish your hair was longer. I would put pigtails in it,” she said.

No way,” I said. “I am not wearing pig tails.”

Well lie down, so I can get your diaper on you.”

I lay down on the floor. I felt stupid as she diapered me. She had me lift up my butt and she slid the clean diaper under me. Then I felt something cold and slimy against my butt. I sat up and batted at her with my right arm. “What was that?” I asked.

She held up a plastic jar for me to read. “It’s Desitin. It’s for diaper rash. Going to bed with a full bladder was not a good idea and you are starting to get a bit red.” She pushed me back down. “Now let me finish diapering you.” She rubbed the slimy cream on my butt and then sprinkled powder on me before taping me in my diaper. I smelled like a baby.

She pulled me to my feet. “You don’t have your own clothes, so you will have to wear mine today,” she said. She took me by the arm into her bedroom. I had never seen it before. There was a queen-sized bed with throw pillows and shams all over it like you would see in a catalogue for bedding. There was a large dresser with a mirror and a chest of drawers. There were also two large walk-in closets. She first opened the dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. It was red with pink hearts on it. It was also a short baby doll shirt. “Lift your arms.”

I did and she pulled the shirt on me. “There you go,” she said as she pulled in on. The shirt barely covered the top of my diaper. I sighed. At least no one would see my diaper in the house except her. By the time I looked up again, she had a pair of blue jeans. With her help I stepped into them. She was a larger size than I, but the diaper made me need that much room.

I spun around in front of the mirror and couldn’t see the diaper, but there was an obvious bulge. I was not happy about that. The shirt came an inch or two below the waist of the jeans. At least I had that working for me. There was something missing though. “Shouldn’t I wear a bra?” I asked.

You don’t need a bra,” she said.

I looked down at my chest and sighed. The shirt was fitted, so I could see the shape of my breasts in the mirror, but they weren’t really ample. I sighed. With a bra, I looked like I had bigger breasts.

Sit down and I will find you some shoes,” she said. I sat down on a cedar chest at the end of the bed and sighed. At least I was getting shoes. I wondered what happened to the Goodwill shoes from my duffle bag or even the scuffed dress shoes I wore to court. I bet they were both thrown away with my other clothes.

She returned with some sneakers. “I noticed you were size six,” she said. “I wore these once and then I got pregnant and my feet swelled to a size eight.” She put some blue socks on me and then pulled on the pink sneakers one by one and tied them. “Walk around then.”

I stood up and took a few steps. “They fit great. Thank you.”

Well, don’t thank me yet. We need to go to the store to get you suitable clothes. You can’t wear my clothes all the time.”

I looked down at my crotch. The bulge was staring back at me. “Um,” I said. “Can you please get me baggy pants at the store?”

You can come with me shopping to get them,” she said.

But everyone will see I am diapered,” I said.

So what? Babies don’t worry about someone seeing them diapered.”

But people expect to see a diaper on a baby, not a twenty-two year old woman,” I said.

No one will notice anyway,” she said. “No one said anything when I wore diapers when I was pregnant. If someone says anything, we’ll just give them a cover story.” She picked up a bag and put it on my shoulder and took me by the arm toward the garage.

What’s with the big bag?” I asked.

It’s your diaper bag in case you need a change while we are out.”

But,” I started. She wouldn’t listen to me. I prepared for an embarrassing day as we went to the garage and put me in the passenger seat of her Volvo.

###

She didn’t drive directly to the mall. Instead she drove out by the hospitals which were across the freeway from the courthouse. She pulled into the parking lot of a small store and came around to let me out of the car. The place said Sander’s Medical Supply.

What are we getting here?” I asked.

It would be in your best interest to remain quiet when we are in here and let me do all the talking.” She opened the door and we went in.

Inside there were rows of wheel chairs, oxygen tanks, hospital beds, and angry rows of shelves that went into the dark recesses of the store. One section said catheters. I knew what those were from the hospital. I shivered. I never wanted to experience a catheter again.

May I help you ladies?” an older woman asked. She wore light blue smocks. She smiled at Violet.

Yes,” Violet said. “I need some adult diapers for my niece here.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “We’ve been using Depends and they don’t hold up to her wettings well.”

I wanted to disappear into the floor. I wished it would have swallowed me up so I would be here to face the embarrassment.

Carlos,” the older woman called. A handsome man appeared. He looked like he was about twenty-four. He was strong and handsome and his biceps seemed barely contained by the sleeves of his smock. I was in love. I forgot about being in diapers I wanted him to hold me in his arms. He looked almost like Brad Pitt and...

Violet rubbed a Kleenex across my mouth. “You are drooling again Beth.” I was mortified.

Carlos smiled at me. “How are you doing?”

Violet turned toward Carlos. “She was in a car accident a few months ago and suffered a head injury.” She parted my hair and showed them the scar from my stitches. “She suffered some brain damage and we need adult diapers for her.”

His smile disappeared. I purposely let out some more drool, but I was upset. He looked like he was interested in me until he heard I was brain damaged and needed diapers. I knew why Violet lied to him. It would be silly to tell them I agreed to be her baby to make up for the real baby she lost when my boyfriend stole my car.

The old lady took a measuring tape and put it around my hips. I backed up and clung to Violet’s arm like a scared toddler.

It’s all right,” said Violet. “She is just going to measure you.”

I let myself be measured, but I hated what I was being measured for. As soon as she had a number she turned to Carlos. “Please bring two cases of medium-sized Tranquility ATN Briefs.”

He disappeared. I wanted to ask her what ATN stood for, but that would blow my cover as a retard. I clung to Violet instead.

She is actually between small and medium, but I find that the larger size absorbs a bit more,” the lady said. “We do have individual diapers if you want to change her into one now and see how it fits.”

That sound like a good idea,” said Violet. The woman reached under the counter and handed her a diaper that looked huge next to the Depends I had on.

Let’s get you changed, Beth,” she said.

I was embarrassed enough and now she was going to change me in front of all these people. I got on the floor and closed my eyes.

To my surprise, Violet pulled me to my feet. “Not here, Beth. I am sure this nice lady has somewhere private we can change.” She turned toward the lady again. “We change her on the floor at home, so I guess that is why she did that.”

I understand,” said the lady. “You can go to the bathroom through there.” She pointed to a hall. “There are adult sized changing tables in there.”

I felt relieved. Carlos came down the stairs from the upper tiers of shelves carrying the two cases of diapers. Violet pulled me down the hall to the bathroom.

It was a normal bathroom, but there was a counter in one corner with padding like someone laid a mat like kindergarteners used for naps. I laid on the mat and Violet started undoing my pants and then she took my diaper off. I had to pee a bit and felt like letting go like a real baby would, but I decided not to. She had tried to minimize my embarrassment in what was supposed to be an embarrassing transaction. She pulled the new diaper on me and taped it up.

There are only four tapes,” I said. “That other diaper had six.”

It’s a different brand,” she said. She taped the diaper in place and tried to pull my pants up. “Well it fits you. Stand up so I can get your pants pulled up.”

I stood and she tugged the pants up. This diaper was much thicker and she had trouble getting my zipper up and my pants buttoned. The bulge was a lot bigger. “I can’t go out like this,” I complained. “Can you get one of the spares from my diaper bag and change me into that?”

Violet shook her head. “We are shopping for clothes for you next. I only have the two Depends in your diaper bag left. You need clothes that fit over these diapers so you got to wear these.”

It made sense, but I was still going to be embarrassed. “Fine, but you need to change me into the new pants as soon as we buy the first outfit.”

It’s a deal. Now no talking or they will know you are not really incontinent.” She led me back out into the showroom. “It fits her fine. It’s a little snug under her clothes, but at least she will keep her pants dry.”

Carlos gave me a weird look at my puffy crotch. I looked like I had a diaper on. How did I get into this? I still stared at him as Violet and the lady concluded their transaction. I pretended to be fascinated by his watch and grabbed at it so I could touch his hand. He frowned and then held me by the shoulders until Violet finished paying.

What did the doctor’s say about the brain damage?” he asked.

She’s just has the mind of a three year old,” said Violet. She took me by the upper arm. “We are hoping that she heals. The brain does rewire around damage, but the doctor said that might take years. She just needs a home right now and that is what I am trying to provide her. Her father is in prison and her mother died, so she just has me.”

At least you are hopeful,” Carlos said. He leaned down and picked up the two cases of diapers and followed them to Violet’s Volvo. He put them both in the back and went back inside.

Violet helped me into the passenger seat and then got into the car. “What was that about you grabbing at the young man’s wrist?”

You wanted me to act like a baby. I acted like a baby,” I said.

You liked him,” she said.

Duh,” I said. “However, I can’t ever date him because he thinks that I am retarded.”

Not retarded. You are brain damaged from an accident.”

I shrugged. It’s not that it made much of a difference. I wasn’t going to be dating anyone soon. I still was healing from the injuries my last boyfriend gave me.

She drove me to the mall parking lot. The lot was packed with cars and I just knew that inside it would be equally busy. She came around to the other side of the car and opened the door for me. Then she went to the back of the car and opened one of the cases of diapers and put two in my diaper bag. She stuffed the two Depends in the case with the new diapers.

Come on,” she said. “Let’s go shopping.”

I looked at my reflection in the car window and noticed how puffy my butt was. “Please, don’t make me go in dressed like this.”

She looked at me with a stern look. “I thought we had a deal. Besides, don’t you want something to wear that will cover your diapers?”

I frowned. I didn’t want to go in. I used to shop at this mall back when I was in college. I hadn’t been there in the three years I lived with Peter. I couldn’t shop when I was his kept woman. Perhaps I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. I shrugged and then let her take me by the arm above my cast and guide me into the mall.

It sure was crowded and I was nervous about anyone noticing that the big bulge inside my pants was a thick diaper. I was starting to need to pee as well. I hadn’t peed yet when I woke up since I was used to holding it until I got to a toilet. That part of my life was skipped over in the rush to go shopping and I hadn’t thought of peeing. I was in the mall and had to pee and I knew the toilets were on the far side of the mall.

We need to head to the restrooms,” I whispered. “I need to pee.”

You are wearing your bathroom,” she said. “Babies don’t say they have to pee. They just pee. That’s why you are wearing a diaper.”

I sighed. “I’ll try to hold it until we get home.”

Suit yourself,” she said.

We walked into the first store and she picked out some clothes for me. She held up various items to me and smiled. “This looks good,” she said.

I can’t button that with these casts on,” I said.

Nonsense,” she said. “I will help you.”

I had to pee more. I tried crossing my legs, but the diapers I wore were too thick and I couldn’t close my legs enough to do any good. I tried to pretend I was anywhere, but where I was.

Can I help you ladies?” the sales person asked.

Yes,” said Violet. “My niece here needs to try on some things. She broke her arms, so can I please accompany her into the fitting rooms to help her?”

Well, we normally just want one at a time in the fitting rooms due to shoplifters, but I guess it will be okay since she can’t try on things herself.” The sales girl turned to me. “I bet that sucks. I broke my legs in June and had to be in a wheel chair for a month. I could still write and do schoolwork though.”

I didn’t answer. I was paying more attention to keeping my pants dry. However, Violet spoke for me. “She doesn’t talk.”

I felt some wetness leak from my vagina. I was going to wet myself. I held on tight. If I walked or took a step, I was going to have an accident.

Right this way to the fitting room,” said the sales girl. I just stood there trying not to pee. Violet pulled me to follow and I stumbled a step and a big wet squirt came out. If I wasn’t wearing a diaper, there would have been a wet spot. “Come on,” she said and pulled me again.

I gasped and then the flood gates opened and I peed myself. I just looked down at myself. The pee wouldn’t stop until my bladder was empty no matter how hard I tried to clamp down. Finally, I was in a warm, wet diaper and managed to follow Violet to the fitting room.

As soon as the door was closed, she undid my pants and pulled them down. She put her hand in my diaper. “You wet, didn’t you?”

I didn’t say anything. I did push my diaper bag at her.

No, you’re not wet enough for a change. Now lift up your arms and we’ll try these shirts.” I lifted my arms and let her try on about twelve shirts on me. Then she took off my shoes and had me try on the pants and skirts she picked out. She picked up some light blue plaid overalls and held them open near the floor. “Step in,” she said.

I don’t like those,” I said.

I do,” she said. “They will make you look so cute.”

I shrugged. “It’s just not my style,” I said.

She gave me that look: the look that said I was disappointing her. Still, I couldn’t cave that easily. “Doesn’t my opinion count?” I asked.

Beth,” she said, “a baby can’t complain about what clothes she wears. Did you always complain about your clothing?”

I thought about it. The overalls did look stupid and I would be embarrassed to wear them in public, but I didn’t try to kid myself that they weren’t an improvement over silk negligees. I could wear these in public. Sure Violet controlled my life as much as Peter did, but at least she never beat me. I stepped into the overalls and she pulled them up.

Now if only you had enough hair for pigtails you would be adorable,” she said and brushed the fuzziness on the side of my head.

I tried not to wince. “You are tugging my stitches,” I complained.

Oh, sorry,” she said. She turned me toward the mirror and I looked at myself. The outfit made me look younger. The small boobs I had disappeared behind the bib of the overalls and the outfit did nothing to accentuate the curvature of my hips. My hair also looked like a baby’s. It was too short. Only the trim of the shirt suggested I was a girl. “Now you do look cute,” she said. “We do got to do something about that hair though. We’ll go to Claire’s next.”

I groaned. In high school all my friends went to Claire’s. I was always bored. If I wanted something feminine, I went to Hot Topic and got retro cartoon stuff, not earrings and hair doodads. Peter cured me of my grunge look, but I didn’t count on the pole dancing look until he already isolated me at home.

She dressed me in what I was wearing before and I looked down to make sure the diaper was hidden. It was, but the bulge felt huge. It expanded when I peed myself. I looked down expecting it to be huge. It wouldn’t be noticeable unless someone walked the mall looking at the butts of every woman to check for evidence of diapers. I didn’t think anyone would do that.

We left the dressing room and Violet put everything on the counter.

All of it?” the sales girl asked. She started to ring up the purchases. “My commission’s going to be great thanks to you guys. If there is anything else you need just ask for Elsie. I will come in on my day off to help you.”

I smiled at her. She sounded nice. I couldn’t thank her without blowing my cover, but Violet did thank her. After we paid for the purchases, we left the store.

Where to next?” I asked. I tried to walk slowly to avoid having my shirt ride up or something embarrassing, but she was guiding me quickly by my arm.

Claire’s,” she said.

We went inside and it was packed with teen girls. I sighed. That was another reason I hated the place. I was an adult, not a teenager. I looked down at the bulge of my diaper. I felt like a toddler, but teenagers still annoyed me.

As soon as we walked in, a sales clerk bypassed all the teenagers, who were probably not going to buy anything. “Can I help you ladies?”

Yes,” said Violet. “I need some headbands for my niece. She had surgery and they had to cut her hair.”

Oh, I am sorry. I hope you get better,” she said to me.

I forgot and nodded. “Thank you.”

Violet glared at me, but shrugged.

Our headbands are right here.” She guided us to a rack in one corner of the store and then went back to keep an eye on the teenagers.

I thought you weren’t talking,” Violet scolded me.

I forgot.” I reached for a head band. It was a black elastic headband with a black rose made out of the same material. “I like this one,” I said.

She took it and several others that she liked and we went to check out. I was sure glad to be out of there. When we got out of the store, I asked her to put one of the headbands on me. I missed having long hair and the bit of fuzz on my head depressed me. I thought it made me look like a boy.

She didn’t pick my black one that I liked. She picked a red one with a pink heart on it. It matched my shirt, but still, I hated it. The black one was feminine, but much more subdued. Next we went to the food court.

Where shall we eat?” asked Violet.

I looked around. There was a Sbarro’s pizza, a Subway, a Coldstone Creamery, a Chick-Fil-A, and even a Burger King, and a Carl’s Jr. I hadn’t eaten out in a long time. Once I moved in with Peter, he never took me out and I could only afford the food at the woman’s shelter cafeteria, so never could eat out then.

Coldstone?” I asked.

It’s eleven-thirty in the morning and you need real food, not dessert.”

I looked around. The pizza looked inviting, but I didn’t want that. I never did like Subway since I had saved up my stamps for a new sandwich and they suddenly stopped accepting stamps. That made me mad. At the Carl Jr. there was a sign for a monstrous burger with jalapenos and a third pound patty. I pointed and said, “I want that.”

Are you sure you don’t want a kid’s meal from Burger King?” she asked.

I’m sure. I want the Six Dollar Burger with jalapenos.” I knew what I wanted. I hadn’t had a good restaurant meal in three years. I wanted something good. I didn’t think about the fact that it would end up in my diaper and that I would regret everyone of those jalapenos.

Okay,” she said. She ordered and we sat down. Then I had another problem. I had casts on my arms and couldn’t hang onto stuff really well. I sat and stared at the yummy burger sitting in front of me, the curly fries, again too spicy to eat before you sit in the resulting messy diaper. However I am getting ahead of myself here. I couldn’t lift the burger to my mouth.

May I have some help?” I asked.

She sat across from me and she had the same thing. She giggled at me and then continued to eat her sandwich. I had to rely on my thumb and forefinger on my left hand to pick up one curly fry at a time. Between each bite of fry I ate, I stared hungrily at my burger until Violet finished hers. As soon as she was done, she picked up my burger and held it for me. I took a grateful bite and then savored the wonderful feeling of the food. I felt the spice of jalapenos and I knew I was in heaven. She fed me bite after bite until the sandwich was done and the burning in my mouth increased.

Of course, I didn’t look as wonderful as I felt. The sandwich is too big for my mouth and even though Violet held the sandwich still, I got a lot of the special sauce on my mouth. Violet smiled and then she did something embarrassing. She took my diaper bag and pulled out a container of wipes, and then proceeded to clean my face and hands. I was humiliated. I looked around to see if anyone noticed the diaper peaking out of the duffle bag, but no one did. They did notice me getting my face cleaned like a toddler though. A guy across the dining room snickered. I wanted to sink into the floor.

I also needed to pee. The thirty-two ounces of Dr. Pepper really hit me hard. I knew Violet would never take me to the bathroom no matter how I argued and I did feel a bit uncomfortable, so I relaxed and peed. When I start peeing, I can’t stop until I am empty. My mother used to tell me that is unhealthy, but I really never let it bother me. However I tried to stop as soon as I felt wetness at the leg bands of my diaper.

Violet,” I whispered, “you got to take me to the bathroom now.”

Use your diaper,” she whispered back.

I just did and there will be a wet spot on my pants real quick if you don’t take me to the bathroom and change me right now.” I was in full panic. I was going to be humiliated.

Relax,” she said. “If you haven’t leaked yet, you won’t until you wet again. I’ll change you after dinner.”

I still worried, but I nibbled on each of my remaining curly fries while I waited for Violet to eat her fries. After eating we left the food court and went to the bathroom.

There were just a few people in the bathroom and I eyed the changing table with embarrassment. I knew I was going to get changed. I pulled it down and looked at it.

I don’t think it will hold you,” she said.

I looked down at the floor. It was disgusting. “I am not lying on the floor.”

It won’t come to that.” She took me by the hand into the handicapped stall and closed the door. She then pulled my pants down. Sure enough, there were too little wet circles at the inseams of the diaper where it had leaked a few drops. She twisted the fabric to examine the outside. It still looked dry, so it hadn’t soaked through the material.

My diaper was swollen and yellowed beyond belief. She quickly undid the tapes and wadded up the diaper and used the tapes to tape it shut. She put it on the floor and got out some wipes. Then she cleaned me. Then the Desitin went on. I still felt clammy when she took out the clean diaper and put it behind me. Then she gently pushed me against the partition so the diaper was held behind me. She took the front of the diaper and pulled it between my legs and then taped it in place. It wasn’t as tight as the changes when lying down, but I had a ring around each leg from the diaper elastic anyway. It could be looser without a problem. Soon my pants were back up, my shirt was down and I was as good as new.

I got to pee too,” said Violet. She sat down on the toilet and went. I was so jealous. Why did she get to use the toilet? I was an adult too.

After that, we grabbed our stuff and went back to her house. The outing was embarrassing, but Violet did not intentionally try to humiliate me.

CHapter Five: No, I’m Not Doing This in Public

The evening passed by uneventfully. During dinner, Violet sat me in the couch in front of the TV and she and Jeff ate without me. When dinner was finished, Jeff came out to watch TV and Violet led me by the hand into the kitchen. “Time for your dinner,” she said and sat me down at the table.

I looked around the kitchen for the steaks I smelled earlier, but I couldn’t see them. I only saw the juices on the dirty plates they had eaten their medium rare steaks upon. Instead she went to the cupboard and brought out two small jars.

What’s that?” I asked. “What happened to all that delicious steak I smelled?”

The steaks were good, but you are now my baby. I have special food for you.” She set the jars down in front of me and I groaned when I saw they were baby food.

Mashed peas and mashed green beans?” I asked. “You expect me to eat that?” I wasn’t going to eat it no matter what she did. “I am an adult and need real food.”

She continued to open the jar of peas and then took a spoonful of the nasty green paste and pushed to at my mouth. I wanted to gag just from the smell of it. I turned my head to avoid it, and Violet gave me her look again. It was that cross between disappointed and anger. I still was unmoved.

She caught me by the chin. “The least you can do is play along. I gave you an adult meal at lunch and I did spend quite a bit of money buying you new clothes. You also told me that you would let me treat you like a baby.”

I didn’t mean to live on baby food. I never even meant to let it progress beyond her bathing me and helping me in the bathroom. “But, I--,” I started to say. I was interrupted by a spoonful of the peas entering my mouth. Talk about bland. Baby food is really disgusting. I am used to food that has salt to bring the flavor out. Even so, I never could bring myself to eat peas. Even whole peas disgusted me. These were mashed peas. I swallowed. “You could have at least got fruit or something.”

Another spoon full entered my mouth. I got smart and closed my mouth, but the next spoonful kept coming. “Come on and open the tunnel so the train can come in.”

I shook my head, but the spoon came anyway and splattered on my face. “You are a messy baby,” she said and continued to feed me. By the time both jars of baby food were empty, I was a yucky mess. I felt horrible. She kept tricking me into talking and then fed me as soon as I opened my mouth.

I didn’t feel full, but I was just glad it was over by the time she cleaned my face and set me back in the living room by the TV so she could do the dishes.

I sat by Jeff as he watched a crime show. He looked at me a few minutes and then asked me a question. “Beth, are you wearing adult diapers?”

I felt my face flush with embarrassment and reached toward the back of my shirt. It had ridden up, revealing the top of my diaper.

Don’t worry. I am sure you will be back to normal as soon as you get those casts off.”

I had to tell him how she was treating me. He would put a stop to it no doubt. “Um Jeff,” I started.

Thank you for coming to live with us,” he said.

Oh, yes. Thank you for taking care of me,” I said. I couldn’t complain to Jeff now. He was being so nice to me.

When the dishes were done, Violet took me upstairs to my bedroom. This time I peed my diaper so I wouldn’t leak in my crib. I had a slight cramp like I needed to poop, but I was not about to stand there and poop myself. She laid me on the floor and changed my wet diaper.

I lay in bed in a dry diaper and cuddled with my adult sized pillow and blanket.

###

The next morning I woke up and immediately peed my diaper. I still had to poop and it was a bit more urgent then it had been last night, but there was no way I was going to let poop out into my diaper and feel it smear against my skin. I was going to hold out for a toilet. I laid back in my wet diaper and waited for Violet to get me.

She did after awhile. “We got a busy day ahead of us,” she said.

I sat up in the crib. “Where are we going?” I asked.

We are going to a party.” She pulled down the gate to the crib and then reached for my diaper. She put a finger inside the leg. “Oh my, you are wet. We’ll get you a bath and into a clean diaper.”

I gave a shrug and let her help me to the bathroom. As soon as I was in the bath, I would wait until she left the room and then I would have a quick poop. She undressed me and ran the bath for me. I got in and reveled in the warm water. I was very clean except for under the bread bags I wore on my arms. I hated broken bones.

She still scrubbed me and I really didn’t mind since I couldn’t really clean myself. I wanted to reach a certain part of my body on my own. Since I was fifteen I masturbated in the shower and I not only couldn’t do that for myself, but I really didn’t want Violet to do that for me. I had just a one more week with the casts and then I could start physical therapy to regain movement. I really looked forward to moving my hands again and not just for masturbation. I could control myself. I just wanted to be able to touch things.

I heard a little tune and Violet quickly dried her hands and answered her cell phone. She quickly left the bathroom. It was now my chance. I got up and went to the toilet and tried to lift the lid. It was stuck. I examined the lid and there was a little white plastic thing on the front that said LidLok. It was a baby cover for the toilet seat. I groaned and then studied it so I could figure out how to undo it. I couldn’t even get a hold on the thing with the slippery wet bread bags on my hand and the casts underneath. I sighed and got back in the tub and just in time too because soon afterward, Violet returned.

She frowned when she saw the wet floor and gave me a stern look.

Sorry,” I said. “I splashed.” I was not about to admit that I tried to use the toilet. I knew that she would either cry and make me feel guilty or tell me I was ungrateful and make me feel guilty. I was going to hold it and use the downstairs bathroom or sneak into the master bedroom and use the toilet in there. I was sure that Jeff didn’t know about the LidLok, so I guess the upstairs hall bathroom was the only one that was so encumbered.

She dried me off and had me lie down on the floor. I had a new diaper on me. It was a diaper that I knew would be full of poop if I didn’t get to the bathroom sometime that day.

I could hold it, I knew. I thought the bathrooms were really gross in high school and even college, so I never pooped at school. I also hovered to pee, so although my bladder control was never good enough to put off peeing for more than an hour or two, I could hold it when I had to poop I had held it until I was in my home bathroom and then I would poop. I would do the same here even though I would not be able to get to a familiar bathroom.

Violet diapered me and then led me back to my bedroom and opened the drawers. She pulled out a dark blue t-shirt and the light blue plaid overalls she bought the day before and dressed me. “Not the overalls, please,” I said.

You are my baby and I can dress you how I like,” she said.

I groaned again. “I guess I have no choice then,” I said. At least it was less embarrassing then having to wear only underwear for two years. Peter did that just to control me. A woman couldn’t get too far when they were only wearing negligees. I could probably make it for quite a while in my current outfit without being exposed as someone playing baby.

I also don’t want to hear any complaints about what I feed you or that you have to go to the bathroom. I will check you periodically. Even if you feel you are about to leak. I will pack some extra clothes in your diaper bag.”

I sighed.

Is that clear?” she asked.

Yes,” I said.

I watched as she started to pack my diaper bag. She put in three diapers, another equally childish outfit, a towel to lay me on for a change and the ointments and powders she smeared on my butt when I was changed. She took me down to the living room and put the diaper bag down on the couch. “The place we are going is about half an hour away. I better use the restroom before we go,” she said. She left me and I stood there and glowered.

She was gone about ten minutes and I knew she hadn’t just been peeing due to the time she was away. I wished I could sneak away to use the toilet, but I just stood there and waited. She returned and we rushed to the car. I got belted in and then she began to drive.

###

We arrived at a house. There were quite a few cars lined up and down the block, so there must have been a special event. When we arrived at the door, a lady answered. “Oh, Violet, it is wonderful to see you.”

Another lady smiled. “Where have you been? We missed you so much.”

A third lady shushed the second one.

Oh it’s okay,” said Violet. She smiled. “I was having problems for a while, but I am fine now.” She motioned me to follow her into the house.

Who is your friend?” asked the first lady.

Oh this is my niece.” She looked at me. “Can you tell these ladies your name?” Her voice actually lifted as if she was talking to a three year old.

I just turned and buried my face in her arm.

She’s not talking,” said Violet. “Her name is Beth and she is staying with Jeff and I. We are taking care of her after an accident. She fell from the balcony at her sorority house and banged her head up pretty bad.”

Ouch. That must have hurt,” said the second lady.

Beth, will you want tea or water?” asked the host.

I released my grip from Violet, but I still was silent.

The doctor thinks she has brain damage,” said Violet. “I’m sorry to impose by bringing her, but I really have to watch her because she needs taken care of.”

Oh, I’m sorry,” said a third woman. She then led us to the living room. All the couches were taken. Violet sat in an easy chair and I sat on the floor in front of her. My stomach rumbled. I wanted to beg Violet for the bathroom, but I never got a chance. There were way too many ladies and they all would hear me talk if I asked for the bathroom. If I talked and then Violet mentioned my diapers, then they wouldn’t believe I was retarded enough to need them.

They started talking about boring stuff like committees and fundraising and I was terribly bored. I looked up at the grandfather clock, but the hand never seemed to move. I finally looked at the pendulum. The clock just didn’t feel like it was stopped. It actually was. I could see why. The weights were all the way at the bottom of the clock. Growing up, my chore was to wind the clocks at my parent’s house, so I knew what I was doing. I crawled the few steps away to the clock and opened the door. When I almost had my hands around the chain to lift the weight, I felt a hand grab me from behind. “Don’t touch,” said Violet with a stern voice.

I looked at her in protest, but she just pulled me back to my spot in front of her chair. “I’m sorry April. She gets into stuff all the time now. It’s almost as if she’s three. It’s really sad because she was a very bright college student.”

It’s okay,” said the lady who answered the door. “She’s probably bored with our conversation. Let’s all adjourn for coffee and cake,” she said.

Everyone went into the kitchen. There were various mugs. Each one had a different saying and none of them matched. An older lady filled them with coffee from a coffee pot. I looked around and saw Violet get up and go down the hall.

Would you like some coffee, dear?”

I smiled and she slid it across the table too me. I saw a box of sugar cubes on the table as well and grabbed one between my one finger and thumb on my left hand that I could still pick things up with. I dropped the cube into the coffee and then picked up the mug between my two cast-encased hands. I took a sip of the best coffee I had tasted since college. I really missed coffee. It was hot and yummy, although it was a bit bitter because the sugar cube hadn’t melted yet, but I was happy to have it anyway.

The other ladies smiled at me. One of them looked at my stitches on the top of my head and winced. “Poor dear,” the lady beside me at the counter said, “that had to hurt.”

I gave my same dumb smile and took another sip.

Then Violet came out of the hallway and saw what I was doing. “Beth, why are you drinking that? You’ll burn yourself. Besides, you can’t pick up stuff too well until your casts come off.” She picked up my coffee cup and put it out of my reach. “Besides, you don’t want to spill on Mrs. Luther’s floor.”

The woman I now learned was April Luther smiled. “Is there something else we can give her to drink?”

The older lady who gave me the coffee said, “I’m sorry Violet. She seemed to enjoy the coffee and I didn’t think anything of it.”

It’s okay, Mabel,” Violet said to the older lady. “I have to keep her out of everything at home. She hasn’t been right since she hit her head.” She turned to April. “You can give her milk or water.”

I ended up with a cup of milk. It was only half full. When we went back to the living room, Violet held it for me and just held it to my mouth when she thought I wanted a sip.

After another half hour of committee talk and fundraising planning, my stomach started to cramp hard. I knew I had to go to the bathroom soon. I did not know what to do. My intestines were making it known that my body was not designed for the foods I put into it. I mentally kicked myself. It was the coffee that was doing it. I was great at holding my poop until the end of the day, but I had never held it after holding it all night. The ingestion of coffee just played merry havoc.

As a college student, I had a coffee ritual. I would go to the on campus coffee shop and have one at about ten in the morning. Once, I got the urge to poop at nine and after having a ten o’clock coffee I had to poop so urgently by 10:30, that I had to leave class early and run to my dorm to use the bathroom. I barely made it and from then on out I never drank coffee if I had the urge to poop. Since I had been holding it all night and for most of the morning, I was cramping pretty hard.

I bit my lip. They droned on and on and suddenly I felt something move. The poop was right at the edge of my butthole and I could feel it down there. My butt was sore and the mass was trying to get out. I didn’t know what to do. I knew that big hamburger I had yesterday wanted to come out. What I hadn’t counted on was the jalapenos I’d eaten. I cramped up again and knew I was going to poop any minute. I shifted to get to my knees so I could stand up and go to the toilet, but as soon as I got to that position I felt my sphincter give out and a hot mass of sludge deposited itself in my diaper. As it touched my butthole, it burned. I shifted uncomfortably to avoid the burning feeling when the poop mushed up in my diaper.

There was also a big smell. All the ladies were looking at me. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. It was funny how that feeling was quite common the past four days. Violet looked at me and even she wrinkled her nose.

Beth, did you have an accident?” she asked me aloud.

The other ladies stared at me hard. Violet stood up and pulled me too my feet. I wanted to die. “She doesn’t always make it to the bathroom,” she said. “I’ll need to change her.” She looked around and asked. “Beth, where is your diaper bag?”

I thought about it and then remembered. She left it on the couch at her house and we forgot all about bringing it. I just stared at her because this was not the situation to blow my cover.

We need to go,” said Violet. “I forgot her diaper bag. She has been incontinent since the accident. I have to take her home to change her.”

April smiled. “Well I think we covered most everything. Will I see you at next weeks’s meeting?”

Yes,” said Violet.

April looked at me. “Don’t worry, Beth. You are still welcome back.”

I smiled dumbly. I felt like the retarded kid who pooped her pants. I wanted out of there so I could get my butt clean. Jalapenos and a dirty diaper didn’t feel good together. I also wanted out of there so I could tell Violet off.

We finally got to the car and Violet had me sit in the passenger seat. I got in and hovered above the seat.

Beth you have to sit down so I can get your seatbelt on you.”

But--,” I said.

I know that it is gross, but it is just poop. I’ll give you a bath and change you when we get home.” She pushed me down and I landed with a flop onto the mushy poop. It was bad before, but when I sat down it was a lot worse and poop squished clear up my butt crack and forward. I knew I would have a mess if it crept into my womanly places. I had to pee and I just left go if only to flush it out of there. Peeing didn’t help my butt either. It just spread the jalapeno taint further.

Violet got in and started driving away.

I hope you are satisfied. I am humiliated,” I told her.

Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll get you changed.”

I don’t care about being changed,” I said. “I just want this treatment to stop. I am not your baby and I am not going to act like a baby any longer. In fact I am telling my probation officer to take me to jail. At least there I can use a toilet.”

Do you really feel that way?” she asked in a whine. She looked close to tears.

Yes,” I said.

She continued driving. She swerved a few times and then pulled over into a McDonald’s parking lot. She opened the door and left leaving me in the car in my stinking mess.

She left her cell phone in the car. It was noon and I just felt gross. I was a bit hungry too. Still, I was glad that she didn’t take me in while in my condition. I felt terrible though. My bottom still burned and I knew I would have an awful rash.

She spent over a half an hour in the restaurant before she came out. Her eyes were red and her shirt had splashes of water from where she’d been crying. I sighed. I wasn’t going to give in though.

She drove home and I waddled behind her into the house. We entered the living room. Jeff was lying on the couch reading a novel. The diaper bag was sitting on the floor next to the couch. It was as if it was in his way so he just put it on the floor.

I thought you two would be at the ladies meeting,” he said.

Beth forgot her supplies so we had to leave early,” she said. “Beth, I am going to get your stuff ready,” she said. She hurried upstairs.

I started to follow, but Jeff caught me by the arm. “Sit next to me,” he said. “I want to talk.”

Do I have to sit?” I asked.

He sniffed and then realized I was messy. “No you don’t have to sit.” He sat and took me by my arms. “I just want to thank you for what you are doing. I thought it was strange that you were wearing diapers last night so I asked Violet what was going on. She told me that you agreed to let her take care of you like a baby. That was strange, but thing is, she is herself again. In the two months before we brought you home, Violet spent twenty-three hours a day in bed. She only ate when I forced her and she was basically a mess. Medicine didn’t help. She was depressed. Now you are here and she gets up on time and she even went to that meeting. She would have stayed home if you weren’t there with her. Thank you so much for giving me my wife back.”

I stood in shock. Did embarrassing me make all the difference. No, she wasn’t getting off on making me feel like a fool. She genuinely wanted a baby to care for and I was the only one available. The fact that I was almost helpless made it all the more easy for her to want to baby me.

You’re welcome,” I said. I hoped it wasn’t too late to make amends to Violet. I hurried upstairs and into the bathroom. Violet was kneeling in front of the toilet trying to get the childproof LidLok off the toilet.

Leave it on there,” I said. “It is too late for me to use the toilet.”

But you’ll need the toilet eventually,” she said.

I’m your baby and I need you to give me a bath and put me in a clean diaper.”

She turned to me. “I thought you said I humiliated you and you didn’t want to be my baby anymore.”

I felt guilty, but I didn’t want to drive her back to her depression. I would wear diapers for the rest of my time with them if that is what it took. “One of the hard parts of being a mother is having children throw temper tantrums. It gets worse when they become teenagers if my childhood is an example. I was just having a temper tantrum. I’m sorry I made you cry.”

It’s okay,” she said. “Let’s get you out of that smelly diaper.” She unhooked my overalls and lowered them to the floor. She then opened my diaper and then unlocked the toilet lid. She balled up the diaper and put it in the trash and then started to clean my butt with toilet paper. “Wow, you really got a bad rash,” she said.

Yeah,” I said. “Dirty diapers and jalapenos don’t mix.”

Ah, that’s it. Normally babies don’t eat jalapenos. Your diet is slightly different than a real baby, so I promise I will change you as soon as you are dirty.”

Thanks.”

She cleaned me enough for me to take a shower and I left her clean me. I still felt dirty after the shower, but I thought a lot of that was psychological and due to the smell of the diaper in the trash. I lay down on the floor and got ready for my diaper change.

She didn’t have any diapers for me. She grabbed the pair of panties she had brought me off the vanity and left me lying on the towel. She then returned with a thick diaper. I got a generous coating of Desitin on my butt before getting my diaper put on. She then dressed me in shorts and a t-shirt and led me down stairs to the living room. I smiled at her.

I’m going to cook something really nice for dinner. Will you watch her while I do?” she said to Jeff.

Sure,” he said. He shrugged at me when she left. “I don’t really think I can change your diaper,” he said. “There are certain parts I shouldn’t see.”

I looked at the clock. It was already two. “I am sure I can hold it until dinner.”

Good,” he said.

So how come you are home during the day?” I asked.

I don’t work Friday afternoons because I am on call during the week.” He opened his novel and started to read. I looked at the cover. It was a science fiction novel. I loved reading that kind of stuff.

What are you reading?” I asked. “Can I read it when you are done?”

Listen, I am trying to read. Do you want something to do?”

I am sort of bored,” I admitted.

He took me by the hand into his den. That was a room that Violet had made off limits to me. Inside, book shelves lined every wall. “You can read anything you want. Any time.”

I looked along the shelves and picked a book. We returned to the living room and the two of us sat on the couch and read until dinner time.

Chapter Six: I Can’t Play With THese Toys

I had really gotten into the book by dinner time, but after we ate, I was quite busy getting another bath (my third that day) and getting ready for bed. Before doing that, I just sat with Jeff watching TV until Violet came down and decided it was time for my bedtime.

I was tired out anyway, so I put up with getting a new diaper on and going to bed. I closed my eyes and let sleep come.

###

The next morning, I woke up and did my morning pee in my diaper. I did not have to poop fortunately, since I pooped so publicly the day before. I was glad I didn’t have to go now, but I knew it would happen again later. I promised myself that I would poop my diaper while at Violet’s house so I wouldn’t have messy accidents when out in public.

Good morning,” said Violet.

Good morning,” I said. I stretched and sat upright while Violet lowered the rail of my crib. “What do you have planned today?”

We’re just staying home,” she said. “My magazine asked if I was ready to write articles again, so I will be on the computer all day.” She helped me out of the crib. “We’ll get you a bath first and then I’ll let you play.”

I smiled. I looked forward to getting back into that book that Jeff had let me read. They were in a spaceship and everything bad was happening and it didn’t look like they would survive. It was the first book in the series, so I didn’t think that they would all die. I still wanted to finish the book. I even had dreams about it.

Violet helped me into the bath and washed me thoroughly. “Your rash is still pretty bad,” she said. “I wish we had your diaper bag with us when you had your accident. You should have told me we forgot it.”

It did hurt quite a bit and I wasn’t too happy when I got home the day before, but now I was less happy. The scrubbing hurt. Before I yesterday, wetting the diaper felt warm and pleasant almost. Now it irritated my skin. “If I was a real baby, could have I told you we forgot the diaper bag?”

I guess not,” she said.

Or if I was really brain damaged from an accident?”

Nor if that was true. I am sorry we forgot it, but let’s worry about keeping your diaper dry. Crawl into my study if you have an accident and we’ll get you changed as soon as possible.”

I splashed a bit in the water and sighed. I looked forward to getting the casts off my arms and regaining the ability to use my fingers. The casts came off in less than a week. “What will the doctor say if I show up in diapers?” I asked. I punctuated the remark with giggles.

He will probably ask too many questions. I will give you a break from diapers that day. Except for then, you are going to be my baby.” She reached down and tickled me, then finished scrubbing me.

When I was clean, she helped me on the floor for a diaper change. She really smeared on the Desitin before she powdered me and closed my diaper. I got put in a t-shirt and then she led me to the living room. On the middle of the living room floor was a blanket covered with dolls and baby toys. She sat me in the middle of the blanket and turned toward the door next to Jeff’s den. “Remember,” she said. “If you are the least bit wet or messy, I want you to come get me for a change. Until then, play with the toys and be quiet.”

Sure,” I said. She closed her door and I immediately stood up and climbed on the couch. The book Jeff let me have was on the cushion where I had left it. I picked it up and began to read.

Violet sat in her study. I mainly heard the clickety-clack of her keyboard, but occasionally she paused and swore or said it sounded stupid or something. I tried to ignore her and continued to read the book. The crew of the spaceship managed to win their battle, but the ship was damaged and the enemy had reinforcements coming. I was so engrossed in the book that I didn’t notice that Violet had left her office until I felt the book being snatched away.

Babies can’t read,” Violet yelled. She pulled me off the couch and sat me back down on the blanket. “Now sit here and play with these toys until I get dinner fixed.” She opened the cupboard at the bottom of the coffee table and put the book inside.

Violet, I am an adult,” I said. “I can wear diapers and use them, sleep in a crib, and let you bathe me, but I cannot sit here and play with these toys.”

You are having baby food for lunch today,” she said. “You will get the same for supper if I don’t see you playing with these toys when I get back.”

Fine,” I said. I picked up a doll and held it in my arms. As soon as she left, I dropped the doll and went for my book. I cursed when I couldn’t open the little cupboard because of my casts. I picked up the doll and held it a while. I wasn’t even sure what to do. I had two older brothers and never did get into dolls. My earliest toy experience that I could remember was pushing Tonka trucks around. There were no Tonka trucks here, just dolls, a rattle, and a few plush bears. There was also a plastic tea set. With no tea or boiling hot water, I couldn’t play with the tea set, so I just held the doll.

I had to pee and without thinking, I let loose in my diaper. I didn’t drink that much that day, so it was pretty strong and I knew that the wet diaper would irritate my skin. However, I really didn’t want to get Violet and ask her for a change since she was so angry now. I thought I could manage, but ten minutes later, my skin started to itch. I hated the baby treatment.

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. I still had the doll, but I ignored it. Violet was cooking something in the microwave and getting two jars of baby food ready. I couldn’t see the labels, but one was a greenish paste, and the other looked yellowish. I suppressed the urge to gag. “Violet?”

She turned to me. “I told you to play until lunch time,” she said.

I held up the doll. “I was, but now I am wet and it is making my rash sore. I would really like it if you changed me.”

Okay,” she said. She took me by the hand to my bedroom and made me lie on the floor. She was quick doing her work, but she was gentle. She put a lot of Desitin on me before diapering me. “Does that feel better?” she asked.

Yes,” I said.

It’s lunch time now,” she said. “Let’s go eat.” We went down stairs and she sat me in front of the baby food and then got stuff out of the microwave. She had hot pockets and I just sat there as she ate them. She didn’t even offer me a bite. When she was finished, she sat in the chair beside mine and then spoon fed me the baby food. I had to suppress my gag reflex to get the stuff down. I don’t know how babies could stand to eat the stuff.

When I was done, she washed my face. It needed it because she purposely missed while she fed me and I had baby food all over my face. After the meal, she took me back to the living room and sat me on the blanket. She then gave me a bottle.

I drank the bottle. After I finished, I curled up on the blanket with the doll in my arms and took a nap. I didn’t wake up until much later in the afternoon when the door opened. I woke up and turned my head toward the front door. It was Jeff.

You look cute lying there like that,” he said.

I sat up and smoothed my t-shirt so it covered my diaper. “Thanks.”

So how was the book?” he asked.

I shrugged. “It was fine until I got about three quarters of the way through and Violet found out I was reading instead of playing with these toys.” I spread my arms out to indicate the toys on the blanket. “You got to talk to her.”

He regarded me. “Are you really okay with acting like a baby?”

I thought about it for awhile. Jeff was offering me a chance to stop this whole baby thing. However, there were Violet’s feelings to consider as well. “I really do need help getting baths and getting dressed, and I really don’t mind the diapers and even the baby food. I know Violet needs someone to take care of so she can heal and I don’t want to take that away from her. There is a limit to what I can endure and spending my probation playing with toys is not something one of them. I don’t even know how to play with these toys. I had all brothers and I played with trucks when I was little. I am seriously considering going back to jail. I can’t play with baby toys.”

Jeff thought for a minute. “Okay,” he said. “I will talk to her and get your access to books back.” He left the room and went into the study. The tapping of keys stopped and instead I heard them talking.

She’s my baby. She can’t read,” said Violet.

Violet, you can’t treat her like this.”

She agreed to be my baby,” she said. “Ask her.”

I did,” he said, “but I am really not convinced that she agreed because that is how she wants to be treated. I think she lets you treat her like that because she feels guilty.”

So what?” she said. “I don’t care if she does it out of guilt or not. She is my baby. I already lost my real baby. I don’t want to lose her too.”

You can dress her up like a baby and treat her like one, but the woman is an adult. She has the mind of an adult and no matter how you dress her or treat her, she will always have the mind of an adult. You need to leave her a little bit of adulthood or she won’t let you treat her like your baby at all.”

What do you mean?” she asked. “She’s my baby.”

So far. She agreed to let you diaper her and bathe her. She even informed me that she is okay with you feeding her baby food. I am a bit disturbed about that, but if she is okay with it, I guess we can live with that. However, she was really upset about losing access to reading materials. I gave her permission to read the books in my study and then you took them away from her.”

I gave her toys to play with,” said Violet.

She’s an adult. Let her read,” he said. “She told me she would rather go to jail than play with those toys.”

So I lose my baby if I don’t let her read those awful books?” she said. Her voice seemed sad through the door.

There was silence for a bit and then she said, “Okay.” The door opened and they came out of the study and sat together on the couch.

Beth,” said Violet, “I have decided to let you have that book back.” She opened the little cupboard in the coffee table and pulled out the book and handed it to me.

I smiled and reached for it with both hands. My casts prevented me from holding it properly, but I pressed both hands together to keep my grip on it.

I caution you against reading it where company will see it or you will blow your cover. Also, I don’t want to any arguing with me.”

Deal,” I said.

I never did get to read the rest of my book that night. Between supper time, bath time, and getting sent to bed, the rest of my evening was pretty busy. I did catch up on reading the next day though.

Chapter Seven: Messy in Public Again

The next day I spent the morning in the living room as Violet sat typing away in her study. I was almost through with the book and had gone into Jeff’s office to find another one when Violet called my name.

Beth, where are you?”

I put the book I finished back in its place on the shelf and came out. “I’m just getting a book.”

Well, you can read later. Right now we got to go to town so I can talk to my editor.” She carried my overalls and some socks and shoes.

I looked down. I was a bit damp and thought I could use a change. I also had to poop really bad and did not want a repeat of the last time I pooped. “Can you change my diaper before we leave?” I walked toward the couch and sat down.

She set the overalls, socks, and shoes next to me. “Yeah, hold on and let me get you a clean diaper.” She left the room.

While she was gone, I tried to poop myself. I felt a pressure and knew I would have to go pretty soon, but no matter what I did, I could manage to mess myself. I did manage to thoroughly flood myself before she came back.

Lie down,” she commanded me when she returned. I laid on my back and closed my eyes while she knelt in between my legs and slid a diaper under me. The old diaper came off and then I shivered as the cold clammy feeling of Desitin was rubbed against my skin. Soon I was packed into the new diaper and dressed in the overalls, shoes, and socks. I sat up as soon as we were done and we headed for the door.

Be sure to bring my diaper bag,” I said. I watched to make sure the bag came with us as well as Violets purse and brief case. I hoped this trip didn’t take long. I wanted to get back before I had a messy accident.

The trip in the car was pretty much uneventful. Violet was lost in thought and I just stared out the car window. I wondered how long I could go on living like this. It had been less than a week, and I had yet to be beaten. A week was the longest that Peter had gone without beating me. I wondered when Jeff and Violet would start. The only thing I had really pushed was the issue with the book. The car finally pulled into the parking lot of an office building and we got out.

Now I got to talk to my editor in his office. Can I trust you to sit in the lobby and stay out of trouble?”

I nodded.

I didn’t hear you,” said Violet.

Yes,” I said.

We walked inside. The lobby was a pretty airy room with a seating area with leather chairs and a coffee table covered with magazines. There was a large desk on the other side where a receptionist sat. Violet pointed to one of the chairs. “Sit down here.” She walked to the desk. “I’m here to see Jay Fourier,” she said to the receptionist.

He’s expecting you,” said the receptionist. “You can go right in.”

Violet left me alone, so I picked up one of the magazines and paged through it. It was a science magazine. I read through several articles including one about satellites. I got halfway through the magazine when I realized that I couldn’t hold it much longer. I had to poop and bad. I decided that I couldn’t poop in the lobby of the building, so I stood up and walked to the receptionist’s desk. “Where are the rest rooms?” I asked.

Down the hall and to the left.” She pointed the way.

I followed her directions and found a door that say Ladies. I hurried inside and went into a stall. I then reached up to undo the straps of my overalls and frowned. I couldn’t get them undone. The casts on my hands really wouldn’t let me get enough dexterity to undo them. They weren’t metal loops like most overalls. They were little plastic things that clicked into place. To undo them, I would need to squeeze the plastic pieces together and slip them apart. I couldn’t do it. I thought about asking the receptionist, but that would be embarrassing. I had to pee and poop really bad and I was afraid it would come out on its own. Pooping would be really noticeable, but I could get away with peeing. I relaxed my bladder and clinched my butt and wet myself. That relieved some of the pressure, but I still had to poop pretty urgently. I then washed my hands and hurried back to the lobby and retook my seat.

I picked up another magazine and looked through it before Violet returned. I looked up and saw her smile at me. “I see you were behaving.”

I stood up and we walked out of the building together. “What is next?” I asked. My urge to poop made it hard to walk, but I finally made it back to the car.

I thought we would eat out,” Violet said.

Can’t we eat at the house?” I asked.

Why do you not want to eat out?” she asked.

I was silent for a minute and I think I blushed. “I have to poop really bad and I want a bath after I mess my diaper.”

If we eat at home, we need to stop at the grocery store. Besides Applebees is having lunch specials. Just use your diaper and I will change you in the bathroom.”

I was trying my best to hold it as Violet drove toward the restaurant. I knew I couldn’t hold for too long. Even if I made it into the restaurant, I could’t hold it until we finished eating and Violet would want to change me in the nearest bathroom anyway.

Please don’t make me poop in public again,” I begged.

Use your diaper,” Violet said. “If you do, we can stop at the mall and use the family bathrooms where there is more privacy. After I change you, we can stop at Barnes and Noble and I will buy you a present.” She looked hard at me as we headed toward the direction of Applebees and the mall.

I sighed and leaned over against the passenger door, so my butt was partially off the seat. I didn’t even have to push that hard when I let go and emptied my bowels into my diaper. I straightened up and felt the mess smear against my bottom as I basically sat on it.

It wasn’t as bad as last time. Sure it smelled bad and I felt it smoosh against my skin, but it didn’t burn. Then again, my diet had been baby food instead of jalapeno-laced hamburgers, so I guess that is what made the difference. It felt really warm. I would not say it felt nice, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I still wanted changed immediately.

Violet smiled at me when she smelled what I did. We then pulled into the parking lot of the mall and she got me out of the car and handed me my diaper bag. We walked into the mall in silence. She held my hand and I just looked at me feet as we journeyed through the mall. I could feel every eye staring at me. I was waddling with a just-pooped-my-pants waddle. I hoped this was worth the promised book at the book store.

When we arrived in the family restroom, Violet took me by the hand and led me to one of the single user restrooms. Inside was both a large and small toilet and a changing table. There was also a sink.

Everyone was staring at me,” I hissed.

You were looking at your shoes,” Violet said. “No one really looked our direction. She motioned me up onto the changing table. It was really too small for me, but it was embedded in the counter. It wasn’t a fold-down one that would break if I lay on it.

She made quick work of cleaning me. Still, she used lots of toilet paper and several baby wipes before she was able to change me. I knew I was cleaner, but I still wanted a bath. I did get the new diaper on and we made it out of there quickly. I was worried about the poopy adult diaper in the trash, but Violet threw a few wet paper towels on top of it. No one would probably dig through the trash and everyone would probably assume it was a baby diaper in there.

We left and as promised, Violet took me to the book store. I quickly found a book about a girl in a spaceship that went on a fifty year journey that was time-diluted to be approximately eight years, but then found out that faster than light travel had been invented after she left. I looked forward to finding out what happened to her, but I had to wait until we finished eating.

###

It didn’t really take that long to eat. Violet did have to help me a little since my hands were still in casts. I did have one rather embarrassing moment though.

A man my age at the next table over was staring at me. He wore a fedora, so I thought his staring was even more creepy. Did he notice my fat, diapered ass as I sat down? I hoped not. He was staring at my face, I thought. “The man in the booth at your five o’clock is staring at me,” I whispered.

You’re sitting down,” she said. “He can’t see your diaper.”

I thought that was true, but it was still uncomfortable. He stood up and I thought he and the girl he was sitting with were going to leave, but he came up to our table and stopped by.

Pardon me,” he said. “I noticed the stitches on your head and wondered if you had surgery lately.” He took off his hat and revealed he had similar scars. I just stared dumbly, then played it up a bit by drooling. He didn’t seem to mind. “I had a brain tumor removed recently. I lead a support group for survivors of brain cancer. Are you interested?”

I had to give some excuse. However, I didn’t really want to deal with him. I gave Violet a pleading look.

I’m sorry,” said Violet. “My niece was in an accident and really can’t function by herself anymore. She suffered from brain damage.”

I’m sorry,” said the guy. He left. After that incident, we left.

I started reading my book in the car and then laughed a bit.

What’s so funny?”asked Violet.

I was thinking back to when I lived at home. I was a late bloomer and didn’t get potty trained until I was four. My mother had to resort to rewarding me with toys when I used the potty. It seems like you are doing the opposite: rewarding me when I used my diaper.”

Violet smiled. “We aren’t really going to make a habit of rewarding you every time you mess yourself. I only got you to do it this time because last time was such an awful experience.”

Oh,” I said, a bit disappointed. “Well, it wasn’t as bad as last time. I still don’t like it.”

Well, maybe next time you will be at home when you mess yourself.”

Oh great, I though, there is going to be a next time.

Chapter Eight: The Babysitter

Over the next few days Violet got more work done for her magazines. A few times we even went on road trips for a certain bit of research she had to do. One day, Violet got me up and dressed again.

She dressed me in pink pants and a black baby doll t-shirt. The design was a variation of three wolf moon design, the classic t-shirt with a moon and three wolves on it. I always thought shirts like that were cheesy. Peter wore one. However, this one had three images of a young man with no shirt.

What’s with this guy on this t-shirt?” I asked. “Usually it is a wolf on t-shirts like this, not a Chippendale’s dancer.”

Jacob is a werewolf,” said Violet. “Besides, we are going to April Luther’s house for a committee meeting and Mabel’s niece will be there. She’s seventeen and loves Twilight, so she will like your shirt.”

I am wearing this shirt to impress a high school girl?” I asked.

Yes, you are,” said Violet. She almost pulled me down the stairs and outside toward the car.

Great.”

###

After the car trip, I really had to pee. I wasn’t wet when I woke up. I had wet before Violet changed me for bed and I didn’t wake up until Violet woke me. We got to April Luther’s house and I almost had to stop and cross my legs three times before we made it up the sidewalk to the door. Carrying my bulky diaper bag wasn’t helping.

Violet rang the doorbell and April Luther answered. “Oh hi, Violet,” she said. “Everyone else is already here.” She smiled at me. “And Beth, you are always welcome. I see you brought your supplies.”

I tried not to blush, but only lost my concentration on my bladder. I was wetting full force into my diaper. I looked like a fool with my obvious diaper bulge that was growing larger and carrying an actual diaper bag that held my replacements. Violet pulled me by the arm into the house. We went into the living room into the crowd of women getting ready for their meeting.

I made it again,” said Violet. She took a seat on the couch and smiled.

I sat on the floor in front of her and looked down. No one said anything about my wet diaper, so I thought no one noticed that I’d wet myself again. I hoped that would remain the case all though I doubted it.

While the women were discussing committees and meeting minutes, I looked around for Mabel’s seventeen-year-old niece. However, I saw her nowhere. Instead, I sat there bored. It didn’t help that the clock still hadn’t been wound. It sure does feel like time stands still when the hands on a clock are not actually moving.

After about an hour April finally finished her talk. “With that, we will adjourn to the kitchen for refreshments.”

The ladies started to mill into the kitchen. I got up to follow them, but Violet tapped me on the shoulder. “Beth, do you need a change?”

Some of the ladies looked at me and I looked at my shoes again. She had said it loud enough for everyone to hear. To make matters worse, she put her hand in my pants to check.

April, is there a place where I can change her real quick?”

You can change her in the bedroom.”

I waddled a bit as I followed Violet into the bedroom. I knew everyone knew the reason and it really embarrassed me, but what else could I do. At least Mrs. Luther and the other ladies didn’t make fun of me.

I laid down on the bed and let Violet pull my pants off. “You pretty much announced to everyone that I was wearing diapers.”

Beth, they already knew.” She pulled out a diaper and set it beneath me and started to untape my wet diaper. “You made it obvious last time when you messed yourself.” She then begin to clean me with wipes.

Suddenly, the door opened. A teenager stood in the threshold and just started to stare at me. I wanted to die. After an uncomfortable moment, the girl spoke. “I’m Mabel’s niece. I just wondered if you needed help.”

Violet smiled. “Not now,” she said. “We’ll be done in a bit.”

My face burned and I had to have turned pretty red because when the door shut again, Violet frowned at me. “If you really did have brain damage, you wouldn’t be blushing so hard.” She closed the clean diaper on me and started to tape it up.

Well I guess so, but I am still embarrassed by the diapers,” I said.

I suppose so,” she said. “Well, it’s time for treats,” she said. I stood up and let her tug my pants up and button them.

We went out to the kitchen again and followed Violet to the table. There were plates of cookies, and some pie. There was also coffee. I really missed coffee a lot, so I reached for a cup and started to pick it up.

I think we’ll just have milk today, Beth.” She took the cup from my hand and replaced it with a cookie.

Mrs. Luther quickly brought me a plastic cup filled with milk. “There you go, sweetie.”

I took the proffered mug, at that point just happy it was not a sippie cup. Violet directed me to a chair at another table toward the back door. In the chair next to me was the teen girl that invaded my diaper change.

You must be Beth,” she said. “I’m Lillie.”

I ignored her and started to eat my cookie.

Don’t mind her rudeness,” said Violet. “She has a head injury and is still non-verbal.”

I thought so. Aunt Mabel told me that she acts like a toddler and I saw she needs diapers. She must be bored to death of these meetings Aunt Mabel has.”

It is pretty hard for her to sit still.”

I’ll watch her for you during the rest of the meeting.” She smiled. “We’ll be right in the other room and I’ll get you if it is anything I can’t handle.”

I turned to Violet and stared daggers at her, but she ignored me. “I suppose it will be okay,” she said.

Great,” said Lillie.

I wanted to scream but instead I just crammed the rest of the cookie into my mouth. After I swallowed, I quickly downed my milk. I was not happy about being put in a room with a highschooler who knew I was diapered. However, I couldn’t even protest, or I’d blow my cover.

###

After refreshments, Lillie wasted no time in taking me to the other room. The other room was the bedroom I had my diaper change in. My diaper bag still lay on the bed and it was open. Lillie noticed it right away.

She climbed on the bed and went through the diaper bag. She pulled out diapers, Desitin, and, and bottles of powder. She even pulled out my novel I was reading. I was angry now. I reached for the book and tried to grab it from her hand.

Hey careful there,” she said. She pulled the book out of my reach.”

My only resort was to do my fake cry. I felt stupid, but it worked. In no time her demeanor changed.

It’s okay,” she said. “You like books? How about I read you a story.” I stopped crying.

She shoved my stuff back in the diaper bag and put it on the floor. She then pulled me up beside her on the bed and then grabbed a back pack from the night stand and went through it until she found a book.

I know you like Twilight from your shirt. Maybe we can jog your memory a bit if I read it to you again.” She smiled. “I have to warn you. I am a Team Edward girl and you know he ends up with Bella instead of Jacob.”

I stared blankly at her. I did not have to fake that blank stare. I had no idea what she was talking about. She didn’t seem to mind and instead started to read to me.

###

Violet came in and smiled at me. “So do you need a change?”

I checked her earlier and she wasn’t really that wet,” said Lillie. I still had resented that invasion, but it wasn’t as bad as a full diaper change.

Oh, good,” she said. She picked up my diaper bag and I followed her to the car.

Goodbye Beth,” said Mrs. Fletcher. “Come back again.”

I smiled at her. I so wanted to have the humiliation end.

We’ll be back next time,” said Violet. She buckled me in the passenger seat and went around to drive. We pulled out of the neighborhood while I sat in silence.

How do you like Lillie? I understand she read you a story.”

I opened my mouth to speak. There was a lot I wanted to complain about today. First, I was humiliated, a high school girl babysat me, violated my diaper bag, and put her hand in my pants, but I could only complain about the most egregious item.

Vampires do not sparkle.”

Chapter Nine: the Doctor and the Night Out

The next morning was busy and I hated it. I woke up in the crib like I always had since living with Violet and I sighed. I had to pee a bit more urgently than usual, so I just wet my diaper while staring aimlessly at the mobile. I couldn’t really do anything else except get more and more uncomfortable from holding it. My arms were still in casts and Violet had somehow found an adult sleeper that zipped in the back. I wasn’t even sure I could have unzipped it with two healthy hands.

Ironically, as soon as I wet my diaper and got comfortable, Violet came to get me. “How did mama’s baby sleep?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Wah, Wah, I am wet,” I said. The crying was as monotone as I could make it.

Well let’s get you a bath before your rash comes back. We don’t want to explain that to the doctor, do we?”

I certainly did not. I was getting tired of the diapers, but I let Violet help me out of the crib and I followed her to the bathroom for bath time.

As she bathed me, she was more thorough than usual. She also wasted no time in helping me clean up. Usually she made a big show of making me play with bath toys. She also hummed happily to herself.

You’re happy,” I remarked.

She helped me out of the tub and started to dry me. “It is Jeff and my anniversary. He is taking me out to a fancy restaurant tonight.”

Good for you,” I said. “You’ve only been taking care of me in the evenings. It will be good for you to get together and have a good time.” Inwardly I was happy I would get a bit of alone time.

Yeah,” she said. “You sure you will be okay without me to take care of you?” She picked up my pile of clothes and started to dress me. She put the shirt on me and I raised my arms as she dressed me. However, the pile wasn’t as thick as I thought is should be. It wasn’t until she grabbed a pair of panties from a three-pack that I realized there was no diaper.

Panties?” I asked.

The doctor will notice if you wear a diaper. Want to explain the diapers?” She held them for me and I stepped into them and then she pulled them up to my waist.

Oh yeah, I get the casts off. Finally I can move on my own again.”

But, I will still be helping you.” As if to prove a point, she held out some light blue pants for me to step into. She got them on me and then we were about to leave.

We had just gotten into the car when Violet’s phone rang. She answered it. “Hi, Mabel.” I tried to listen to the conversation, but only heard half.

Oh yes...No. That won’t work out. Jeff and I are going to dinner tonight for our anniversary...No, Beth isn’t coming. She will stay at home...Jeff and I really want to be alone...Yes, I would really appreciate that...Thanks, I’ll see Lillie tonight.”

What was that about?” I asked. I was concerned when I heard Lillie’s name mentioned.

I don’t really want to upset you, but Lillie is coming to babysit when Jeff and I are going out tonight.”

Absolutely not,” I said. “There is no way I am putting up with being treated like a baby by anyone, but you.”

Well, our friends know that Jeff and I are going out and they think we were irresponsible if we left a brain damaged college student alone when she has the mind of a toddler.”

Couldn’t you get someone else?” I begged. “Anyone else?”

Sorry, but Lillie is offering to do this. She really wants to be a nurse when she grows up and Mabel things taking care of you would be good for her. Besides, she needs something to focus on besides vampires.”

Fine,” I said.

We arrived at the doctor’s office soon after our argument and we got out. I walked in happily knowing that I was soon going to get my casts cut off and I was also not wearing a diaper.

Violet guided me to a seat in the waiting room and went up to announce our presence.

It will be about ten minutes,” the nurse at the counter said. I sighed. Well, I had waited six weeks to get my casts off, I could wait ten more minutes.

Violet sat beside me and picked up a magazine. I opened my book and started to read. Before too long a nurse came out. “Elizabeth Browning, the Dr. Mitchell will see you.”

I fumbled to put the book mark in my book and handed it to Violet. I then followed the nurse back to an examination room.

She smiled at me. “I bet you will be glad to get those casts off.”

I will,” I said. “I can’t even dress myself with these casts. Violet’s been a big help.” I couldn’t even use the bathroom by myself. I didn’t think the diapers were the way to go, but I just wore those for Violet’s benefit. After this, the only purpose for the diapers would be to give Violet someone to baby.

Well, I will leave you here until the doctor comes.” She left.

I looked around the room at all the medical gear. There were models of an ear and a nose. My face warmed up when I saw a poster that talked about the treatment of incontinence. There was even a skeleton in the corner.

On the counter there was a small circular saw. Also there was some strong-looking scissors and what looked like a lobster cracker. I shivered. The doctor might cut my arm off. With Violet’s help, I could wear the casts forever. It wouldn’t be so bad. Violet would keep me in diapers anyway.

However, before I could panic any further and make my escape, the doctor entered. “Hi, I’m Dr. Mitchell. I understand you want your casts off.”

I slowly nodded.

He looked at my arms and frowned. “No one signed your casts?” he asked.

I remembered back when I was a child that whenever anyone got a cast, they carried a marker so they could get the cast signed. I had always wanted to do that, but I when I actually got a cast the first time, I had no friends and even if I did find some people to sign it, it would only make Peter jealous. This time, however, I could have gotten it signed without Peter’s influence, but I never thought of that. Besides, I was playing the part of a brain damaged girl, so I couldn’t really ask for signatures.

I don’t really have a lot of friends. Jeff and Violet are the closest I have to friends.”

He frowned. “Well, let’s get started.” He picked up the big saw and turned it on.

The saw was loud. I extended my left arm and hid my face and closed my eyes.

Relax,” he said. “I haven’t cut anyone yet. Besides, the blade just vibrates. It doesn’t spin so it won’t cut skin.” He touched the blade against his arm. “See?”

I felt both relief and embarrassment, but I wasn’t as squeamish as he started to saw the cast off my arm. He cut one cut down the length of each side of the cast. After he did the first two cuts, he took my other arm and made the same two cuts on that cast. Then he turned off the saw.

There,” he said. “You didn’t feel a nick, did you?”

No,” I said.

He took the lobster cracker and used it to pry each cast apart. Underneath the cast was a gauzy wrap and he cut through those with the scissors. The casts were pulled away and I was free.

I looked down at my arms. The skin on my hands and forearms was all dry and wrinkled and they stank. I wrinkled my nose.

Six weeks without washing probably took its toll,” he said. “I’ll let you wash your arms in the sink there before you go.” He took my arms one at a time and tested each joint for its full range of motion. He got to my left hand and tried to move my ring and pinkie fingers and I winced in pain. I looked at that hand and it still was swollen a bit. It was slightly off and I couldn’t move them as far.

Those fingers are a bit stiff. I’ll schedule you for some more X-rays in a few weeks if they don’t get better.”

It was better than expected. The doctors had told me my hands might be permanently damaged from Peter’s stomping on them, but that they would do the best they could. At least the problem was on my left hand.

I stood up and went to the sink and washed my hands as the doctor read through my chart and made more entries. As I washed, a lot of dead skin peeled off. At least I was clean. My arms didn’t look as dirty or disgusting any more. I turned around to smile at the doctor, but he motioned me back to the examination table.

According to your chart, there is a problem,” he said.

Oh?” I was starting to get worried.

They didn’t use dissolvable sutures when they fixed your head wound.”

Is that bad?” I asked.

Not really,” he said. “They just should have removed the stitches later. I can do it for you.”

What if we just leave them in?” I asked.

Then they might get infected. Now just lie back on the table and I will take care of them.”

I lay back on the table and closed my eyes. Of course the doctor was gentle. He gently removed my head band and then started parted my short hair to get to each stitch. I cringed as he took sharp scissors and snipped each stitch and each time he took his tweeters to pull the stitch out, I thought he was going to drill into my head, but at last he spoke to me again.

They’re out,” he said. “Was that so bad?”

No, but I never want to go through that again,” I said.

Well, let’s do something to make sure you aren’t injured again,” he said. “Dr. May wrote that he suspected you were being abused and that you had a pattern of ‘falling down the stairs’. I don’t like what I see here. Do you want to talk about what is going on?”

No,” I said.

What’s going on at home?” he asked. “You are living with that Violet woman out in the waiting room, right?”

I hoped he didn’t think that diapers were abuse. How would he even know? “Nothing’s going on at home. I like staying with Jeff and Violet because I don’t get hit anymore.”

Who hit you?” the doctor asked.

My boyfriend Peter, but I am away from him now.” I started to cry when I thought about what I had gone through. Through sobs I told him how I came to live with Violet. I left out the part about being her baby and wearing diapers.

Okay,” he said. “I was just concerned that the abuse hadn’t been addressed. I am glad you are moving past that,” he said.

Thanks,” I said. “Maybe if someone had this conversation earlier, I would not have been in this situation.”

He ran his hand through my short hair. “Well, let’s get you back to Violet, so you can go home.”

I stood up.

However, you are more vulnerable to attracting men who will treat you just like Peter treated you. Just be careful if you decide to date again.”

I will,” I said. I thought about my role as Violet’s diapered baby when with her and Jeff and being a brain-damaged incontinent girl to everyone else. “I don’t think I will be dating for awhile.”

I left and found Violet in the waiting room. She paid the nurse and we were out the door. I opened the door by myself and got into the car. She drove off and she smiled.

I was much better off with Jeff and Violet than I was with Peter. “Violet,” I said.

What is it?” she asked.

Thank you for letting me come to live with you.”

I’m glad to have you as my baby,” Violet said. “So where do you want to eat?”

I thought about it a bit. “Fast food is good enough,” I said.

How about McDonalds?” She pulled in the parking lot and we both got out and got in line.

You can order anything you want. You’ll just have to eat whatever Lillie decides to feed you, so at least you get to choose at lunch.”

I looked at the menu and there were so many things I hadn’t eaten in so long. I know McDonalds isn’t really exciting, but I was excited. Wearing only underwear and never leaving the house by myself made me crave going out. “I’ll have a Big Mac meal,” I said.

What do you want to drink?” she asked.

Dr. Pepper, of course,” I said.

She ordered and we got our food and sat at our table. She put my burger in front of me and started on her own. I took my sandwich and took a bite out of it. It tasted divine. I was also glad I could use my own two hands for eating. My left hand bugged me a bit since my ring and pinkie fingers couldn’t contribute to holding the sandwich, but it was better than having two casts on my arms that kept me from holding something larger than a French fry.

So will you be good for Lillie?” Violet asked me.

I’ll behave,” I said. I took another bite of my sandwich and then dipped my French fry into some ketchup and took a bite of that. I then enjoyed my Dr. Pepper.

Violet kept talking about how she and Jeff were going to celebrate their anniversary and I kept sipping on my supersized Dr. Pepper. Soon I had the urge to pee. I relaxed and started peeing, but then I felt really wet. I looked down and saw a pool of pee forming in between my legs in the chair. It was also running behind me toward the back of the booth. I tried to clamp down and stop, but I can’t stop once I get going. I had forgotten that I wasn’t wearing diapers.

Oh shit,” I whispered.

What’s wrong?”

Don’t get mad at me,” I said, “but I just wet myself.”

She looked under the table at me as the obvious wet spot in my light blue pants and the puddle of pee started to drip off the front of the seat.

Beth, what happened?”

I forgot I wasn’t diapered. I got used to just going whenever I had to go.”

Well, let’s just finish our meals and then I’ll change you in the bathroom.”

I sighed. “I guess adult time is over.”

I sat in discomfort for a bit and then Violet went out to the car and got my diaper bag. I felt like all eyes were on me as Violet took me by the hand to the ladies room. I heard at least one small voice say, “That lady peed her pants,” before I made it to the sanctity of the bathroom. Once in the stall Violet got to work right away.

She pulled down my pants and the panties that I had just got to wear once and I stepped out of my shoes as she helped me. Then she put a clean diaper on me. However, for pants, all she had was a pair of bright orange soccer shorts. I stepped into them and watched embarrassed as Violet rolled up my panties into my pants and then stuffed the whole bundle into a plastic bag before tucking it in my diaper bag. I truly felt like a toddler being put back into diapers after an accident. That was exactly what I was.

We went out into the restaurant and Violet flagged down a McDonalds employee. “My niece had a bit of an accident in her seat. There is a bit of a puddle. I’m so sorry about that. She has medical issues.”

He looked at me and I know he was really cute. However, I had to go back to being brain damaged again. I still gave him an embarrassed smile before we left.

We got out to the car and Violet was smiling again. “That was unexpected.”

It was unexpected to me as well. What’s going to happen when you get tired of diapering me? I might get stuck in diapers.”

Didn’t you say you just forgot you didn’t have on a diaper on? I did that a couple times after I stopped wearing diapers from my pregnancy.” She suddenly looked sad, but she continued. “Of course I was in bed at the time, so cleaning up that mess wasn’t fun for Jeff. He’s a really good husband.”

Well, I feel a bit better. Still embarrassed, but better.”

Well let’s get you home. I bet you want to finish your book before Lillie comes.”

Oh good idea,” I said. I read my book until we got back.

As we pulled in the driveway Violet looked at me. “Beth, do you want me to give you your bath now, or should I tell Lillie to bathe you tonight?”

I frowned. The idea of being naked in a tub while Lillie was scrubbing me was not the least bit appealing. Before meeting Violet, I really didn’t take a bath both morning and night. I usually showered right before I started making Peter’s dinner. I would usually take a shower in the morning as well, but sometimes I took a bath if I knew I could get my chores done before he got home. Then again, I usually didn’t pee myself. My change in the McDonalds bathroom left me smelling of pee. “You can bathe me now, Violet,” I said as we walked into the house.

We went in the bathroom and she started running the water. She then stripped me down to my diaper. I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. I sure had fallen. I was first a promising college student, then I wore only lingerie for two years while being brutalized. Now, when I was supposed to graduate, I was just a big toddler.

Do you need to go potty before I take your diaper off?” she asked. I kind of had to poop and I even thought about going in my diaper before bath time. The timing was actually perfect for once. However, I didn’t really want to poop in the diaper. Maybe I would have if it wasn’t Violet’s anniversary. I wondered if I hadn’t had an accident, if Violet would have let me poop in the toilet for once, but that was water under the bridge, or rather a puddle of something in the seat at McDonalds. “No, I’m fine,” I said.

She slid my diaper off and I sat in the water. This time, I couldn’t get away without playing with the toys. “You don’t have the excuse of the casts to avoid playing with the toys.” Reluctantly, I steered the little boats around the tub through the soapy water.

After I played a while, she smiled at me. “Time to get you clean.” She soaped up the washcloth and began scrubbing me. My arms, legs, and even my privates were soaped. She then poured water from a Tupperware pitcher unto my head before shampooing my hair.

Once clean she got me out of the tub and started to dry me off. She lay me down on the floor and I closed my eyes and readied myself for the diaper change.

She put the diaper under me and was going to close it up, but I stopped her. “Suppose Lillie doesn’t do a good job of changing me. I don’t want to get a rash.”

It will be fine. She’s babysat before.”

Well use Desitin just in case,” I begged.

Okay, I suppose it won’t hurt,” she said. She smeared the cold slimy stuff on my diaper area and I did my best not to squirm because it was my idea. When she was done, she diapered me. She then dressed me in my plaid overalls and a pink t-shirt.

All good?” she asked.

I nodded and then followed her to the living room where I sat with my book. I started reading.

You know you need to put the book away before Lillie gets here,” she said.

I will,” I said.

I’m getting packed,” she said. “Be good. Jeff should be home in about a half an hour and then Lillie will be here at two.”

Packed?” I asked panicked. “How long will you be gone?”

Just the weekend,” she said. She turned and headed up the stairs.

I frowned. I had to spend a whole weekend with Lillie. My stomach gave a little rumble and I regretted not messing my diaper before bath time. I had to poop and I would not be able to wait until Violet and Jeff returned from their anniversary. I could hold out until at least this evening. I smiled at the thought of my little present that Lillie would have to deal with tonight.

Chapter Ten: The Babysitter’s Boyfriend

I finally made it to the last three pages of the novel I was reading when the doorbell rang. Violet took the book from me and put a book mark in it and went to door. She wore a dress and pearls and she looked excited. “Beth, Lillie is here.” She opened the door, and Lillie walked in.

The girl was dressed in all black and wore glitter make up. She smiled. “Hello, Mrs. Violet. I’m ready to babysit Beth. She put her duffle bag on the coffee table and then sat right beside me. “How are you doing, Beth? We are going to have so much fun this weekend.” She then actually pinched my cheek. I wanted to scream at her, or at least tell her off, but again I couldn’t or it would blow my cover.

Violet did calm her down a bit. “Well don’t get Beth too worked up. She just got her stitches out and the doctor said to be careful not to reinjure her.”

Jeff came down the stairs and smiled at me. He took my hands in his. “Now, Beth, please be good for your babysitter. Violet and I will be back in a few days.” He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Sorry about the babysitter. We can’t really explain it if you break your cover.”

I frowned, and sat back down on the couch. However Violet leaned over to Lillie. “Let me show you Beth’s room.” She got up and I followed them up the stairs. We walked down the hall and Violet opened the door. She didn’t open the door to my nursery, but to the guest room next to it. Inside was a full bed, a desk and a dresser. A couple bags of diapers peaked out from under the bed. It would be a nice room to live in and where I would have been living if I wasn’t always playing baby. “When you change her, you can just lay her on the floor. The baby monitor is right by her bed so you can listen in case she needs something.”

I sure can do that,” said Lillie. “Where should I sleep?”

I guess you can sleep in our room,” said Violet and led her to the master bedroom.

I went back down the stairs and sat on the couch. When I saw my book I just wanted to finish the last three pages, but I couldn’t risk Lillie seeing me. Instead I grabbed the tea set and set the coffee table as if I were going to have a tea party. They still didn’t come down, but I saw Lillie’s bag and I opened it up. I groaned. On the top of the bag were three Twilight DVDs. “How did that book ever get made into movies?” I asked myself. I dug deeper into the bag. There were clothes, of course, but I also felt something rounded and plastic. I was about to pull it out, but I heard footsteps going down the stairs and I quickly closed the bag and started sipping imaginary tea out of one of the tea cups.

So if there is anything you need,” said Violet, “you have our cell phone numbers. Please call rather than let anything happen to Beth.”

Don’t worry about anything,” said Lillie. “I can handle her and I will keep her dry and clean.” I blushed at the reference to my diapers.

Violet put her hand on my shoulder. “Can you say ‘bye, bye?’”

I grabbed onto her arm, but she dislodged me and I glanced at Lillie with apprehension. She waved and the followed Jeff out the door. Lillie held my hand until the car started and then she watched them pull out of the drive way.

I got the house to myself now. You had better be good,” she warned me. She pulled out her phone and then dialed a number. “I got the house to myself. I am ready for you Brian.” She then hung up. She then unzipped my pants and stuck her hand inside my diaper. “Oh good, Beth. You are still dry. You got to promise me to try to stay dry when my boyfriend Brian gets here.”

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call Violet. I did know her number and there was a prepaid phone in Jeff’s desk drawer in the study. However, I didn’t want to blow my cover. I did not really care what kinds of decisions Lillie made, but not if it would inconvenience me. If she was going to slut around with her boyfriend, I wanted nothing to do with it. However, I would just have to play along.

I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the floor next to me by the coffee table and I handed her a tea cup.

Oh, are you having a tea party, Beth?” She smiled and took a sip of the imaginary tea. Then she poured me some. It was still drinking air, but at least she was focused on her babysitting instead of the boyfriend. I wondered if I could teach her a lesson.

An hour later, I had to pee, so I wet myself. I was almost afraid I was getting too used to the diapers, but that choice was taken from me. I should have peed little by little, but I let it out in a flood and my diaper was soaked. It wasn’t to the leaking point, but I was ready for a change. I thought about trying to get her attention, but she was too busy naming my dolls and stuffed animals really hokey old people names like Jasper and Bella. It was only the doorbell which broke her out of her concentration.

Oh, it’s Brian,” she said and opened the door.

A high school guy walked in. His hair was too long and he wore a leather jacket, even though it was the end of April. He wore a heavy metal t-shirt and he glance at me with apprehension when he walked in. “I thought you were babysitting by yourself,” he said. He pointed at me. “Who’s she?”

She took me by the hand. “Hey Beth, this is my boyfriend Brian. Beth is Violet’s niece. I’m babysitting her.”

He gave me a puzzled look. “She needs a baby sitter?”

Um, yeah. She hit her head in college and is brain damaged. She can’t talk and the head injury really set her back. She acts like a toddler and even has to wear diapers.

That is kind of gross,” said Brian.

Well I am getting paid a hundred bucks for the weekend. I don’t care if she needs diapers or not.” She frowned at me and then reached her hand into my diaper. “Oh someone needs a diaper change.” She took my hand and led me to the guest bedroom.

Should I wait outside?” he asked.

Of course he should wait outside. Was he a moron or something?

No, but someone was. “Nope. She does know one way or another if you can see her get changed.” She motioned me to a towel she laid on the floor. “Lie down for your diaper change, Beth.”

I could have made a fuss, but I would have got changed anyway, so I just lay down and closed my eyes.

She pulled off my jeans and opened my diaper and I just wanted to die as she began to clean me with wipes.

Eww,” said Brian. “I’m waiting in the living room.” I was so grateful he decided to leave me alone.

She pulled the diaper off me and put the new one in place. Then after applying a bit of powder, she closed up my diaper. I then lifted my butt to let her put my pants back on, but she just pulled me to my feet. “I am not putting your pants on. If you wet, I really should keep an eye on you.”

I was angry, but I had to accept further humiliation. What else could Brian see of me that he hadn’t seen already? He already saw what was under my diaper and I didn’t have much under my shirt. Even Lillie had bigger breasts than me and she was probably going to be showing hers to Brian that night. There was going to no way I would win tonight. I would just complain angrily to Violet when she got home.

She took me by the hand out to the living room and I reluctantly took a seat on the floor and played with the blocks. I felt foolish sitting there in a diaper and a shirt, but Brian wasn’t paying attention to me. Lillie was straddling him on the couch and he had his hand up her shirt trying to undo her bra. My stomach hurt so bad, but I smiled anyway. It was time.

I sighed. I really was going to do this. There was no way to last the weekend without pooping myself and I had forgone my chance to mess before my bath. However, I had to go. I sat on my hands and knees in front of my tower of blocks. If I pushed, I would have a massive poop in my diaper. I looked up at Lillie and Brian. His hand was down her pants and she was moaning. I pushed. At first, I had trouble. I had to go a lot and it hurt as my butthole was stretched uncomfortably. Then the poop touched the inside of my diaper and I just had to push harder. Soon I could feel my diaper push away from my butt and I looked back to see a bulge. It looked like someone shoved a grapefruit in the back of my diaper.

Lillie and Brian were still making out, and even though I knew that I smelled, the scent probably hadn’t reached them. I crawled a bit closer to them and then sat down hard in front of the tea set. The bulge in the back of my diaper flattened and I felt the mess spread all over the inside of my diaper and the smell increased.

Immediately I regretted what I had done, but I grinned as Brian tried to sit up suddenly, which knocked Lillie to the floor. “Did you just fart?” he asked her. “It smells like shit in here.”

Lillie got up. “No, I didn’t,” she said. They both looked at me and Lillie groaned. “Beth must have had an accident.”

Well, I’m going to go,” said Brian. “Good luck changing that dirty diaper.”

I’ll just change her and then we can get back to kissing,” she said.

I’m not touching you after you’ve touched a messy diaper,” he said. “I’ll see you when you don’t have babysitting duty. Oh. Shower first too.”

She scowled at Brian as he went out the door. When the door shut, she helped me to my feet. “You do realize,” she said, “that you kept me from losing my virginity. I hope you didn’t make me lose Brian because he and I are going to get it on.” She pulled me to the guest bedroom and laid me on the floor for the second diaper change of the night.

However, as soon as she opened my diaper, it became clear that she was unprepared for what she needed to do. At first she just stared at me lying on the open diaper. Then she thought to grab some wipes and tried to clean me. Then she looked at her hand and gagged. It looked like her eyes were watering and she got a panicked look on her face before running into the bathroom.

I heard puking sounds that went on for quite a few minutes and then I heard the sink running. Soon she returned and then closed the dirty diaper back on me. I was confused. I hoped she wasn’t planning on leaving me like this.

Instead, she led me to the bathroom and stripped me naked. Then she sat me in the tub, before undressing herself. She then got in with me and started the shower. The water ran down and washed the mess away in brown rivulets. I noticed Lillie was careful to stand away from me as she directed the nozzle of the shower toward my diaper area.

Once we were both clean, she laid me down and diapered me and then got a new outfit to put on.

I smiled until she came back. I had not only ruined her night with the boyfriend, but I also managed to make her throw up. However, I didn’t realize that she would have her revenge on me.

Well, since it is just us girls,” she said, “let’s watch a movie.” She led me back to the living room. I sat on the couch while she put in a DVD. “I’ll get you caught up on the Twilight movies,” she said.

By the end of the night she made me watch the three Twilight movies she had. I don’t know which was more annoying: the movie or the squeeing when one of the characters took off his shirt.

Chapter Eleven: The Weekend

By the third movie, I was started to nod off. There are only so many ways that you can present the same love triangle and keep the audience interested, especially if the girl in question is a flake.

I was already wet before the first movie, but at the end of the third I was ready to leak. I didn’t really know how to get Lillie’s attention, so raptured by the movie she was, but I had to do something. I was sitting beside her on the couch, so I turned and squeezed a bit closer to her so my diaper was right up against her and put my head on the arm of the couch.

She put her hand on my hip to push me away, and that squeezed a bit of pee out. “Eww,” she said. She got up and pulled me off the couch. There was a wet spot the size of a quarter on the leg of her jeans and there was a larger spot on the couch. “Let’s get you changed,” she said. She grabbed the remote and hit pause and then took me by the hand to the bedroom.

As we walked up the stairs to the bedroom, pee leaked out with each step. None got on the carpet, but wet drops were running down my legs. Violet never let it get this bad, but I could talk to Violet and I couldn’t talk to Lillie.

She laid me on the floor and started to change me. She opened the diaper and looked inside. “Well, I’m glad you can’t talk,” she said. “It’s my own fault I let you get this wet.” She took a baby wipe and started to clean me. “I hope I didn’t let you sit it your wet diaper long enough to get a rash.” She continued to clean me and then she got some Desitin and started to smear it on me. She smeared the stuff everywhere and rubbed it in a little too thoroughly. Violet always brushed it on lightly with a baby wipe. Lillie used her fingers. I had to close my eyes and concentrate to sit still and not squirm from the stimulation until she finally finished.

Her hands were white and she tried to wipe them on a babywipe but it really didn’t wipe it completely off. She then closed my diaper and sat me up. “Well it is time to get ready for bed anyway,” she said. “Let’s go to the bathroom and get our teeth brushed.”

I followed her and then she sat me on the closed toilet seat while she scrubbed her hands. It took her about five minutes and then she returned her attention to me.

So Beth,” she said, “will you be good for me while I brush your teeth?” She picked up my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it and ran some water on the toothpaste.

I guessed she intended on brushing my teeth for me. Violet never did that, but it made sense that if I was really an idiot after getting my head bashed in, I would need some help in that area. I opened up my mouth and let her.

It’s a weird feeling when someone is helping you brush your teeth and I really didn’t like it. She held my head immobile with her left hand and brushed with the right. She stopped from time to time to let me spit, but I gagged when she went too far back with the tooth brush. Finally that ordeal was over and any chance of the bad mood I was in from that humiliating tortuous night was over.

Well, I’ll put you to bed,” she said. She led me into the guest bedroom and then physically tucked me in bed. She then took out a book. “You want a story?”

I was in a panic. I didn’t want to have to read another sparkly vampire book. I gave a yawn, but it didn’t do me any good. She started to read.

About the second paragraph, I was beginning to like the story. Not a sparkly vampire in sight. I glanced over at the cover. Suzanne Collins, a different author. She read me the entire first chapter and then stopped. The worst part was, it was a cliffhanger chapter and I was hooked. She took the book with her, left the nightstand lamp on and left the room.

I did wonder what happened in the book, but I was too exhausted from my ordeal to sneak out and get the book to finish. Instead I turned off the lamp, rolled over, and tried to go to sleep.

All I did was toss and turn. The bed was comfortable enough, but I had to lay in the center and I felt like I was going to fall out. I shouldn’t have. I slept in a full bed before and even shared it with Peter. In college I slept in a twin bed. However since I lived with Violet, I had slept in that crib. I slept on my side in an almost fetal position, and liked the padding of the crib bumper against my butt. There was no comfort and safety of the crib railings either.

The bed had clearance on both sides, and I did not like that. When I slept in Peter’s bed, my side was against the wall and I had that safety. My dormroom bed, and even my childhood bed was against the wall as well and I slept with my back to the wall then too. I did not like this situation and all I did was toss and turn.

I realized that I was stupid. I was an adult and not a baby, despite how I was treated and despite the fact that I was reduced to peeing and pooping myself in diapers and up until today, sleeping in a crib. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me.

I rolled onto my back and flooded my diaper and then rolled back to my side. I thought back to how Peter treated me, even though I was a dream of lots of guys. Back then, I dressed like a stripper in lacy negligees or teddies. However when I didn’t live up to Peter’s ideal or he was just in a bad mood, I was his punching bag. As Violet’s baby, I was treated gently. Even when I was being bad, like with my temper tantrum on the way home from Mrs. Luther’s house after the first time I messed my diaper, or even by disrupting Lillie’s makeout session with her boyfriend, I was never beaten.

Allowing myself to be treated like a baby made Violet happy and even though Jeff was embarrassed by the whole diaper thing, he was gentle to me since I was in diapers.

I tossed and turned until the clock on the wall said 3:30 and somehow fell asleep.

###

Morning came. Usually the sun shining through the curtains woke me. It was easy to get up early when I was put to bed before eight, but I didn’t get put in bed until after twelve. This morning, I woke as Lillie shook me awake.

Time to get up sleepyhead,” she said. She pulled me to a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then brushed her hand against the sheets where I had been lying. “Ah good, no leaks. Now let’s get you a bath so we can go to the mall.”

I groaned inwardly. I didn’t want to go to the mall. I was going to report her to Violet for this though. I let her get me up and pull me by the hand to the bathroom where she stripped me naked and lowered me into the tub. I frowned, but I really had no choice. For one, I couldn’t say anything, and secondly, I needed a bath to wash the pee off me. As safe as a wet diaper made me feel, I hated the feeling after sitting in it for hours.

The soapy water relaxed my muscles since they were so tense from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. I lay back in the water and let Lillie do all the work of cleaning me. After the bath, though, Lillie took me to the guest room where she dressed me. I was diapered and then she went to my closet and looked through my clothes. She chose a pink denim skirt and a yellow t-shirt.

I frowned when I saw her selections and noticed she didn’t choose stockings to go with the skirt. I had no choice but to let her dress me like that. She dressed me in the skirt and the t-shirt and I looked in the mirror with horror as I noticed the skirt only came down to mid thigh. I would have to be extremely careful if I didn’t want my diaper to show and being careful wasn’t exactly what a mentally disabled girl normally did. I could pull something like this outfit off if I were wearing panties and be confident of not flashing them, but the skirt hung a bit different with a diaper on. I tried to make the best of it though.

We went out to the car and I got in the passenger seat where she strapped me in. She then drove to the mall, or so I thought. Instead of the mall we stopped at the medical supply store where I first got my diapers. Lillie guided me inside.

When we got inside, I looked around. There was still the whole warehouse feel to the place. Shelves went clear to the ceiling. There were still the creepy endcap displays of weird medical devices, but that wasn’t the worse part.

Carlos, the worker that I had a crush on, was there. He smiled at me when he saw me. “How are you doing, Beth? Can you talk now?”

My knees felt weak and I wanted to fall into his arms. I couldn’t do that, but I did look at him and smile.

Well, you look like you’re making progress. I didn’t get a smile last time.”

Lillie ruined the reunion. “I need to get some adult diapers. There should be an account under the name Violet Green that you can charge to.”

Carlos tapped a few keys. “Yes, I see it. What kind of adult diapers do you need? We have over twenty varieties.”

I don’t know.” She pulled my skirt up, flashing my diaper at Carlos. “This kind.”

I pushed my skirt down. “Hey,” I said offended that Lillie showed off my diaper to a hunk like Carlos.

Carlos and Lillie stared at me. Carlos came from around the counter and took my hand. “Did you just talk, Beth?”

I had blown my cover.

Chapter Twelve: I’m Getting Better

My cover was blown because I reacted to Lillie exposing my diaper. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about trying to explain why I was in this situation, but how would I tell a hunk like Carlos that I allowed myself to be regressed and babied to make Violet feel better. Well, I was threatened last time Carlos saw me, but he didn’t need to know that.

He held both my hands in his and I just wanted to melt. I wanted to explain, but I knew whatever I said, he would probably think I was a freak. “Beth, it’s okay to talk. Go ahead.”

I didn’t say anything but just stared into his eyes as I wet my pants. I had to pee since I woke up, but didn’t have a chance before Lillie had me dressed and I had even considered wetting in the car. The shock of being discovered made me relax my bladder.

Is she getting better?” asked Lillie.

I don’t know,” Carlos said. “You need to tell Violet that she talked, so she can tell Beth’s doctor. The brain is funny. She could fully recover or only relearn bits and pieces.”

Well that will be nice if she recovers. I have been reading books to her,” said Lillie. She was obviously trying to take credit for the word I let slip out and I was afraid the vampire fiction would continue, but it was possible that she had shifted to the Hunger Games series since I had taken in all the Twilight stuff she had forced me to watch.

Reading to her might be nice,” said Carlos. “Now let’s get Beth her diapers. Do you have her diaper bag?” He gently patted my head. “I think it distressed her when you raised her skirt in front of me. Maybe we can look in there for a spare diaper.”

Lillie left me in the care of Carlos and went to the car for my diaper bag. I was so embarrassed that I almost completely missed the fact that I had gotten away with my slipped word. However, I would be expected to start to get a little better. I was also glad that Carlos tried to spare my feelings by keeping me from being exposed. However, I would soon be embarrassed again.

Lillie came back with my diaper bag in hand. She looked at Carlos and frowned. “I think I put her last diaper on her this morning. I don’t have any extra to show you.”

I wanted to shake my head or run out of there. I just put my hands at my sides and held my skirt down. Carlos smiled at me and put one hand on my shoulder. “I don’t have to see your diaper Beth. I can get Lillie to help us out.”

She won’t know the difference if you just take a peek?” said Lillie. She reached for the hem of my skirt, but Carlos stopped her.

He opened a cupboard and pulled out a few varieties of adult diapers. I never knew there were so many. He then asked Lillie to identify the one I was wearing.

She looked the diapers over and pointed to one. “I didn’t know they made purple adult diapers.” She sighed and then shrugged. “Hers are white, but you have a lot of white diapers here. I just know hers are peach on the inside.”

Oh, you must mean these.” He handed her an ATN diaper like the one I had on. Again I didn’t dare ask what ATN stood for. He opened it up for her to see the peach color on the inside.

Those are them,” she said, “although I kind of wish we could try the purple ones on her.”

Well, they kind of cost more,” he said.

Well let’s get a case of her regular diapers and put it on Violet’s account. I will just give you the money for a pack of the purple diapers.” She smiled. “If Violet likes these, she may want to switch her.”

Carlos rang up the sale. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. My heart beat heavily in my chest and I imagined myself in his arms. He was so gentle to me so far and I really liked him.

Of course that was because I was in diapers. I made too many mistakes in relationships to be able to do my part. I never measured up to Peter’s standards. Besides, the point was moot. I was standing in a wet diaper and he knew I was diapered, so I probably didn’t even show up on his radar for potential dates.

He carried the diapers to Lillie’s car and I walked out after him, my hand tightly held by Lillie.

After saying goodbye, Lillie buckled me into the passenger seat and we were off to the mall. If I knew how embarrassing this mall visit was going to be, I would have thrown a fit until Lillie took me home, not that it would have done me any good.

###

The two of us entered the mall by the food court and Lillie sat me down for a snack. Of course she went straight for McDonalds. I sat in the chair in front a big diaper bag at my place at the table and brooded while she ordered. I thought about wandering off and enjoying the mall by myself, while she ran around panicked and looking for me, but I was really wet and after the events at the medical supply store, it would cause suspicion when I was found if I took the diaper bag with me, or better yet, changed out of the diaper in the bathroom and went without any underwear.

Lillie returned later with two happy meals. She put a four piece McNuggets and a small fry in front of me and put her one McNuggets and fries in front of her. She peeled open some sweet and sour sauce and started to eat.

I grabbed a ketchup packet so I could eat my fries, and she snatched it away from me. “No, Beth,” she said, “you’ll make a mess. Let me do it for you.” She opened the ketchup and squeezed it into the lid of my McNuggets box.

Hiding my mental capabilities was starting to be a pain in the ass and in more ways than one. My rashy butt from her last late change was still bothering me and being wet didn’t help. However, all I could do was sit there and eat my food. I noticed that McNuggets do not taste good without sauce. Ketchup didn’t make them taste much better.

The sign on the McDonalds had an advertisement for the next toy and I was excited that they had Star Wars light sabers, but when I reached in the bag for toy, it was only a Build a Bear stuffed bear. Why did Lillie have to get the girl’s toy when there was Star Wars? At least Lillie didn’t try to wrest that from me. I tucked the unopened toy in the pocket of my diaper bag, determined to exchange it for a light saber at the first opportunity I could get away.

We ate the meal and then Lillie opened her bear toy and played with it in front of me. She looked in my bag and frowned when she didn’t see it, but she only shrugged. She made the bear dance and looked at me.

Why aren’t you smiling? You smiled for Carlos. Can’t you smile for me?” She danced the bear in front of me and started singing a little tune.

I finally gave in and smiled because if I didn’t, I think we would have sat there all day. We finally got up and as I stood I allowed myself to pee again. However, I stopped as soon as I felt how saturated the diaper was. If I had wet any more, I think I would have leaked right in the middle of the food court. I took her hand and pulled her toward the bathroom.

Wait,” said Lillie. “The stores are this way.” She sighed. “Well now that we are by the bathrooms, I kind of got to pee. You are lucky you don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

I wanted to scream. How could a baby sitter who knew I was in diapers be so dense as to not know to check my diaper? Still oblivious to my need for a change, she pulled me into a stall and used the toilet. It was too much. I grabbed the back of my skirt, and made sure it wouldn’t get pee on it when I leaked into my diapers and I just relaxed and further wet my diaper.

Pretty soon, a few drops of pee escaped the leak barriers and ran down my legs, making a tiny yellow puddle between my feet.

She gasped and pulled up my skirt to my chest. “Don’t worry. I’ll change you as soon as I am done. The only time I babysat someone who was still in diapers, they cried when they were wet. You don’t really do that. I wonder how Violet knows when you are wet.”

She finished using the toilet, and then got cleaned up and dressed. She then took me by the hand to the baby change table and tried to get me to get up on it. Giving up, she took me to the stall and ripped my diaper off me. She frowned when she saw my rash was worse, but she didn’t bother to do much about my skin except wipe me with baby wipes. She then opened out a diaper and tried to change me standing up. It took forever, and when she finished, my diaper was high in the front and low in the back and it was also on crooked. However, I had peed already and knew I could hold it long enough to make it home soon.

Soon we left the bathroom and went out into the mall. There were a lot of stores that Lillie just ignored. She didn’t take me into the book store or even the video game store. We only stopped at Abercrombie and Hollister before stopping at Hot Topic. She didn’t buy anything, but she tried on nine outfits in Hollister. However, the clerk at Abercrombie wouldn’t let us go in the fitting room together, so we had to leave. That left us at Hot Topic.

I used to like Hot Topic. Aside from my grunge attire from thrift stores, I liked to wear vintage or insulting t-shirts. Hot Topic had that kind of stuff. However, Hot Topic had changed. There were a whole lot of Twilight shirts. Of course Lillie squeed when she saw each one. She grabbed a shirt that said, “I drive like a Cullen,” and another that had a picture of Edward on it and went to the checkout stand. “Hi,” she said. She actually winked at the clerk.

He smiled back. “Hi, Lillie.”

I looked at the clerk again. It was Lillie’s boyfriend Brian.

I kind of missed you last night,” she said. “I had to sleep in Jeff and Violet’s king size bed and it was too much bed for me by myself.”

He looked at me. “Well, I was kind of grossed out. I almost gagged.”

Well you didn’t have to change her,” she said. “I threw up for over twenty minutes. Believe me, I took a shower and changed clothes right away.”

So what brings you here?” he asked.

I need these t-shirts,” she answered. She put the shirts on the counter.

New policy. We can’t check out family or friends.” He turned to another clerk. “Jazz, can you please ring up my girlfriend?”

Jazz had closely cropped pink hair. Her hair was even shorter than Brian’s. Actually, besides being pink, her hair looked the same as mine. She had metal all over her face. There were about five pairs of earrings, a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, and even a ring where her cheekbone was. She took the Twilight shirts and rang them up. “That will be $43.29.”

Lillie handed her money and then took the bag from Jazz. “Thanks,” she muttered.

Are you one of those Twi-hards too,” she asked me.

I almost shook my head. However, I caught myself in time. Brian spoke up. “She’s the handicapped girl that Lillie is watching this weekend. I told you about what happened.”

Oh, her,” she said. “Brian, if you weren’t so allergic to responsibility, you would make it far in this world. You held yourself back.” She flashed a smile at Lillie. “I got to keep cracking the whip all the time when I am working with him. Now Brian has a lot of work to do without a girlfriend to distract him.”

Lillie frowned, probably because Jazz dismissed her. We walked out the door together. Lillie clutched the diaper bag strap against her shoulder and held her bag with her purchases in the other hand. I just followed. I was humiliated. Did everyone we ran into today have to know I was diapered. She gave me a tug and I felt a tape pop on my diaper. That was all I needed. If I peed, I would leak, and I was grateful I had peed everything out less than an hour ago on the bathroom floor.

Well, I’m ready to leave,” she said. “Let’s go back to the car and I will take you home.”

At least it was over. Hopefully we could sit around at home until Violet and Jeff returned. However, we barely got across the mall when a hand shoved me at my shoulder. “Beth, you bitch.”

Chapter Thirteen: The Roommate

I looked up at the girl who called me out. “Sylvia--,” I started and immediately shut up before blowing my cover again. I usually answered, “Sylvia, you slut,” when I greeted my former college roommate, but I couldn’t this time. Besides, I didn’t want Sylvia to see me and know what I was doing. She was my best friend and I was afraid she would think I was a weirdo. I couldn’t just stand their quietly, but I couldn’t talk in front of Lillie.

Lillie however pulled me behind her and stood between me and Sylvia. “Who are you calling a bitch, bitch? Don’t you know better than to make fun of disabled people?” She made fists and shook them at Sylvia like she was going to fight.

Relax,” said Sylvia. “Beth’s my friend.” She looked back at me. “I hardly recognized you. You cut your hair.”

I smiled weakly. I hoped my hair was all she noticed.

Lillie lowered her fists a bit, but she wasn’t done talking. “Beth can’t talk to you,” she said.

She looked at me again. “Are you still mad at me about that argument we had? That was two years ago.”

As roommates we got along all the time, except when it came to Peter. Sylvia hated Peter. She always told me he was bad news. When I moved out of the dorm to move in with Peter she was livid. She screamed and yelled at me and she wouldn’t even help me pack. “He already gave you a black eye once,” she had said. “He’s going to keep hitting you. Please don’t move in with him.” I had slammed the door in her face.

You don’t understand,” said Lillie. “Beth can’t talk to anyone. She fell off a balcony at her sorority and hit her head. She suffered brain damage.”

Beth wasn’t in a sorority.” She looked at me. “Peter did this to you, didn’t he? I’m not letting you go back to him.”

Who’s Peter?” asked Lillie.

And who are you?”

I’m taking care of Beth while her aunt and uncle are out of town.”

My story was falling apart. Why couldn’t Sylvia be quiet? Next she would probably say that I had no aunts or uncles. I had to do something and that meant breaking my silence. Lillie, was there, so I would have to break my silence silently. Fortunately, Sylvia was deaf, and even though she was good at reading lips, I tried to learn sign language to be able to talk to her. <Shut up or you’ll blow my cover,> I signed.

Sylvia stared at me and shrugged.

<Long story. I’m going to give you a hug. Just slip you number in my pocket and I will explain everything tonight.> I moved forward and gave her a hug. She hugged me back, and then I felt her hand brush my butt. There was a slight crinkle and she got a confused expression on her face. I didn’t want her to know about the diapers. However, before I could say or do anything, Lillie took my hand.

I got to take her home.” She squeezed my hand for emphasis.

She’s not still living with Peter, is she?” asked Sylvia.

I don’t know any Peter,” Lillie answered. “I don’t like you either.” As she pulled away, I reached into my back pocket with my free hand and pulled out a business card with Sylvia’s number. I put it back in my pocket knowing I would have to call her that night and I would have to do it after Lillie went to bed.

Chapter Fourteen: I Know it’s Gross

When Lilly finally got me home, my diaper was wet. It wasn’t too wet, but I really had to pee and I was afraid I would leak through the diaper that she had so poorly put me into.

She took me inside and immediately laid me on the living room floor. I lay down there as she took my diaper and got everything laid out for my change. She lifted my skirt up and then undid the diaper. “Oh, I wish I could have changed you sooner, Beth. Your rash is a bit worse.”

I could only just lay there as she changed me although I wanted to dress her down for how bad a job she did at babysitting me. However, she didn’t suspect a thing, although I thought she would have to be really stupid to think I wasn’t faking it.

She began to rub the rash cream on my diaper area and I had to grit my teeth in order to not cry out. I am definitely not into girls, but it takes a lot of control not to squirm when being rubbed down there. I wondered how she could be oblivious to that fact, but I really needed diaper rash cream today, and then soon it was over. “There,” she said and closed and taped my diaper. I sat up and crawled over to the couch and took my seat. She turned on the TV for me and left it on the Cartoon Network, which gave me a chance to relax for the first time that day. I didn’t even notice when she went to her car until I saw the cases of diapers in the living room. A lone pack of purple Molicare diapers sat on top of the cases of my regular diapers.

I wondered how long it would be until Lillie tried one of the purple diapers on me. She was excited about them the first time she saw them and I knew it would be a matter of time. However, they just sat there ignored as we sat together on the couch and watched movies. Thankfully they weren’t Twilight, but they weren’t movies I would have chosen.

After the last movie, Lilly looked at her cell phone. “It’s already nine,” she said. “How about I get you to bed? I’m a bit tired, so I’ll be going to bed myself too.”

I let her lead me to the guest room where I lay on the floor for my diaper change. Once in a clean diaper, she tucked me in and read another chapter of the story she had read me the night before. I listened with rapt attention and by the end of the second chapter; I realized that I wanted to know what happened next. However, it was soon over and she flipped on the baby monitor and left me lying in bed.

I lay very still while I listened and it seemed like Lillie was in Violet’s bedroom. It was my chance now. Slowly and quietly, I crept to the door, but then I remembered that the door made sounds when it opened and I glance back at the baby monitor. That was going to be a problem unless... My eyes followed the power cord to where it was plugged into the wall. I merely had to pull the plug and now I could make noises. I opened my closet and went through the laundry and got Sylvia’s card. I then opened the door and then crept down the hall. Sure enough, there was a light under the door to Jeff and Violets room and I could hear the shower running in the master bathroom. I was safe.

I went down the stairs and then saw my book on the end table. I scooped it up and went into Jeff’s office. The office was surrounded by book cases on all the walls. A love seat sat in the center of the room. A desk was in front of the couch. It was a strange arrangement, but I guess Jeff just liked to be comfortable when working or reading. I sat in the loveseat and opened the center desk drawer. Inside was a plain flipphone. Nothing was special about it, but it could dial a number. I grabbed the card which I tucked into the waistband of my diaper and dialed Sylvia’s number.

It rang and then I heard someone answer. “Hey Sylvia, you slut,” I said.

Hold on,” said Sylvia. “I can’t hear anything. I got to turn on my cochlear implant.” There was no talking but I could hear movement. Finally she spoke. “Hi Beth. Now you got to tell me what is going on with you.”

Well, it’s kind of a long story,” I said. As an afterthought, I added, “You can hear me? I suppose I could text.”

I can hear you,” she said. “My implant’s behaving so far.”

Good,” I said. I didn’t know how much I wanted to tell her but I really wanted to stall.

Beth, I haven’t seen you in forever. I barely recognized you with your hair cut so short and you were wearing way different clothes. You stopped dying it black. What happened to the grunge look?”

Peter threw all that stuff away,” I said.

If she had grown up hearing, she probably would have said, “Beth,” in a scolding tone. “You probably let him change who you are. I’m surprised he didn’t have you dressed like a stripper.”

Well,” I said.

Well, what?”

Well, I only was allowed to wear lingerie when I lived with Peter. However I don’t live with Peter anymore.”

Who are you living with now? And who was that strange girl?”

Well, I live with a nice couple now. No one hits me anymore.”

Well I’m glad you are not getting beaten,” said Sylvia. “I wonder why you let Peter do that to you. How badly did he hurt you? That girl said you were brain damaged.”

Two broken arms and a bad cut to the head,” I said. “I know, but Peter was really drunk and he found out I was going to leave. He then stole the car my mother gave me to escape him and he totaled it and got himself killed.”

Peter’s dead?” she asked.

Yes,” I said.

I’m glad he died,” said Sylvia. “So how did you move in with this couple?”

Well I met them in court. Peter managed to run into the woman and she had a miscarriage. I lost in court and have to pay her restitution, but I didn’t have a job or money, so I just work for her.”

What do you do for her, Beth?”

Well,” I started. I didn’t want to tell her about the diapers and playing baby.

That story doesn’t make sense,” said Sylvia. “What do you do for her? You got to do something besides go shopping with that silly teenager then.”

I thought for a minute. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you got to promise not to laugh at me or condemn me.”

Beth, I promise.”

Okay,” I said. “I’m Violet’s baby.”

What do you mean that you are Violet’s baby?”

Violet was depressed after her miscarriage and I let her care for me as if I was a baby. I sleep in a crib and she dresses me and takes care of me. It makes her feel better.”

Is that why you were wearing a diaper?” asked Sylvia.

What?” I asked. I was definitely going to deny that. “I was not.”

I felt it through your skirt when I passed you the note,” she said.

Fine,” I said. “Violet makes me wear diapers. I am her baby.”

Beth, you know that is kind of gross. Do you have to use them?”

I know it’s gross, but it’s not so bad unless I have to go number two.”

Beth, it’s wrong how you are being treated. I am driving to where you are at and picking you up.”

No, you promised not to condemn. Besides, if I don’t work for Violet, I have to find another way to earn the money for restitution. I don’t really have a work history for the last two years, so getting a job will be difficult. Otherwise, I will go to jail. I am kind of enjoying not being beaten.”

Beth, you shouldn’t have to be humiliated. That teenager was dragging you around the mall in a diaper and telling me, a complete stranger to her, that you were brain damaged.”

Well, that wasn’t planned. My cover is that I fell off a balcony at my sorority house and suffered brain damage, so I have the mind of a toddler and need to wear diapers. When Jeff and Violet were going on their anniversary this weekend, Lillie’s aunt gave them Lillie’s services as a baby sitter. She is behaving rather irresponsibly, but she thinks I can’t talk. Jeff and Violet were originally going to give me run of the house, but they couldn’t turn down an offer of a babysitter, because who would leave a girl with the mind of a toddler by herself?”

Beth, slow down. My implant can’t process when you are talking so fast.”

Sorry.” I slowly explained to her Lillie’s role and she did seem satisfied.

Still, I don’t like this situation,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to give up using the toilet. That is kind of gross.”

I know it is gross, but I don’t really mind. No one hits babies in diapers and no one has hit me since I started wearing them.”

Beth, I care about you,” said Sylvia. “You don’t need to live like that. I have a great job and a two bedroom apartment by the university. You can move in with me rent free while you finish your degree and you won’t have to live like this.”

I can’t,” I said. “My probation won’t let me.”

Well, I want to talk to you again Beth,” said Sylvia.

Suddenly I heard a sound out in the living room. “Beth, where are you?” called Lillie.

I got to go. Call you back later.” I folded the phone and stuck it in the desk draw just as Lillie walked in.

Oh there you are, Beth. I was worried when I found you weren’t in bed. The baby monitor wasn’t working. Besides, you aren’t supposed to be in here.” She took my hand and led me back into the guest bedroom. As we passed my new diapers I noticed the bag of purple diapers was missing.

Chapter Fifteen: I Want My Mommy

It was Sunday. Lillie slept most of the morning, but she came in my room around eleven to get me a bath. I heard her walking down the hall and immediately tried to wet. However I didn’t have to go as I was already wet. I didn’t usually wake up in a wet diaper and I didn’t remember wetting since my last diaper change the night before. I shrugged and let Lillie help me out of the bed and then walked with her to the bathroom.

She pulled the wet diaper off of me and then sat me down in the tub. She then handed me a toy boat and she began to scrub me as if I were a baby. Of course she wasn’t as gentle as Violet. If anything, she scrubbed me too hard and she paid a little more attention than was necessary to my diaper area. “That rash is starting to heal,” she said as she scrubbed my bottom. “Still, I want it to be gone before Jeff and Violet return tomorrow night.”

Tomorrow night? They were supposed to be gone only for the weekend. Was it a three-day weekend? I tried to think about the date, but I couldn’t remember. I had spent quite a while with Jeff and Violet but I didn’t know how much of my probation was left. I thought I had been with Violet for a few months, long enough to get used to the diapers, but I haven’t thought it’d been long enough for me to forget the date. I wondered how much time I had left and then what I would do when I no longer have to wear diapers and live with Jeff and Violet.

Beth, let’s get you nice and dry, and I will put you in a nice clean diaper.” She smiled at me and helped me up out of the bath. The towel she dried me with was nice and fluffy and in no time she dried me and put the towel on the floor for me to lie on while she got me in a fresh diaper.

I’m going to try one of these purple diapers on you. They feel really soft and you can wet two or three times before you need to be changed.” She unfolded the diaper and put it under me and then rubbed Desitin and powder on me. I tried my best to keep from squirming as she rubbed it into me, but I couldn’t help myself.

Stop wiggling,” she said. “I got to get this cream on you or Violet will think I’m not keeping good care of you.” At least she didn’t realize I was getting turned on. I closed my eyes until it was over.

Now I am going to powder you.” She shook baby powder on me and then closed my diaper. Then she frowned and looked at her hands. “Ick,” she said. She stood up and began to scrub her hands in the sink. “This stuff is really sticky.” She scrubbed for about five minutes while I lay on my back with an untaped diaper under me. Finally when she was done, she knelt down and taped up the four tapes. “There, all done.” She pulled me to my feet and we went down stairs to the living room. She sat me in front of the TV and then turned it on to a children’s channel. She and I sat together and watched TV for a little bit. The show was Rugrats. Did she think I was an actual baby instead of some poor unfortunate college girl? I rolled my eyes at such a juvenile TV show. However, Lillie was giggling at every joke. It was really ridiculous.

After the show ended, she got up and went up to Violet’s room. I grabbed the remote and flipped thought the channels until I found a western. My father had always watched westerns on Sunday afternoons, so I knew them all. It was one of my favorites. I really liked Clint Eastwood a lot. I sat on the couch and relaxed, wetting my diaper whenever I had to go.

Lillie left me alone for over two hours. At the last two thirds of the movie, the North and the South shot cannons at each other while trying take over a bridge. Lille called down to me. “Beth, are you all right?” I turned the volume down lower but then I heard Lillie shuffling around upstairs.

I thought nothing of it and just continued watching the movie. It was toward the end and the heroes had crossed the bridge to get the gold. However, Lillie stormed down the stairs after about five minutes and she wasn’t too happy.

She took the remote from my hand. “Don’t play with the remote Beth. You’ll miss your show.” She turned the station back to the children’s channel and pointed me toward the TV. “I was all comfortable. Just relax.”

I sat there and watched a kid’s show about a talking train. I hate anthropomorphic vehicles. They just bother me. It was all I could stand to watch Knight Rider reruns. At least Kitt didn’t have a face. Thomas and Percy did. If Lillie wasn’t there I would have turned the channel to see whether Blondie, Tuco, or Angel Eyes ended up with the gold. Instead I was stuck watching talking trains.

After the train show, Lillie made an actual attempt to cook for me. She actually found a can of Spaghettios. Violet might feed me baby food, but that was because it helped her cope with her miscarriage. Lillie, was just a lazy teenager who was given a task beyond her abilities. Unless actual kids lived on Spaghettios, tomato soup, Mac and Cheese, and cheese sandwiches. That was all she cooked for my meals. In the mall I had to eat a Happy meal. When she was done cooking, she came out of the kitchen and took me by the hand and steered me toward my place at the table. She shoved a bowl in front of me.

Now this is messy, so let me help you,” she said. She took one of my bibs and tied it around my neck. I can’t believe that Violet showed her the bibs, but I suppose that a brain damaged adult would need a bib. She then took the spoon and fed me. I tried my best to cooperate, but ended up with tomato sauce on both my face and my bib. I really was a baby. I relaxed and allowed myself to wet my diaper.

Lillie looked down at my crotch and then stuck a finger in the leg.

I jumped.

You sure are wet. Let’s finish dinner and we can get you changed.”

I looked at her for an instant, thinking that she was going to feed me with the same hand that touched my peed in diaper, but she got up and rinsed her hands in the sink. I finished the last of my food.

When she changed me, she put me in my normal diapers. Apparently the purple diapers were not good enough. They were thicker and kept me dryer than the ATN diapers and I might ask Violet about them, but Lillie must not have liked them since she gave up after me using only one diaper. At least I was clean.

###

The weekend with Lillie was long. Monday included a picnic in the park, fortunately without a public diaper change. In the late afternoon we returned to the house. Upon entering, I was immediately sat in front of the TV and then Lillie disappeared.

I had no idea what Lillie was doing, but she was running around the whole house. She ran down stairs twice to get grocery bags and then I saw her running around the house. I got up and went upstairs and saw her go to Violet’s room, so I just went into the guest room and sat on the bed.

I smiled when Lillie came into the room with a grocery bag full of diapers. She started feeding them into the diaper genie. She didn’t even notice me sitting on the bed. I thought it strange that more than one of the used diapers were purple, but maybe she didn’t use more purple diapers on me because they were damaged easily. She loaded the diapers in the genie and then turned around and saw me sitting there.

She jumped when she saw me. “Beth, you scared me.” Her face turned pink. “I was just throwing your dirty diapers away.” She opened the diaper genie and threw the whole chain of diapers in a garbage bag. She then walked around the house gathering all the household trash. Afterwards, she went into Violet’s room again and shuffled through a bunch of stuff. She walked out with her bag in her right hand and the half bag of purple diapers. Was she throwing them out as worthless? I ran to the other room and looked out the window. She put the diapers in the trunk of her car along with her overnight bag.

I shrugged. She did pay for the things herself. She was certainly free to take the unused ones home with her, but I didn’t know what she planned on doing with them. I don’t know how half of them were soiled. I really didn’t look every time she changed me. Maybe I had worn them, but I didn’t think I had wet five of them. I returned to the living room and sat on the floor and played with toys until she returned from the car.

The second she returned from the car she checked my diaper. “I hope you’re not too rashy,” she said. “I don’t want Violet thinking I didn’t take care of you.”

I ignored her and continued to pretend to play with the toys. Lillie, on the other hand, sat on the couch and bounced her leg nervously. She was in a panic. She was worried about how Violet would react to her treatment of me.

I decided I would give Lillie something else to think about when Violet returned. I really had to poop and I was holding it because I didn’t want it to happen someplace embarrassing. I actually didn’t want it to happen at all, but I had learned that pooping in a diaper was inevitable.

I waited until I saw Jeff and Violet’s car driving toward the house and then I pushed the mess in my diaper. I sat and continued stacking the blocks.

Lillie noticed right away and she also noticed that Jeff and Violet just had pulled into the driveway. She got a deer-in-headlights look in her eyes and I knew she wanted me in a clean diaper when Violet entered.

She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up the stairs to the bathroom. Quickly, she lay me down and opened my diaper and then looked at what she had to deal with.

Why now, Beth? Couldn’t you have waited just ten more minutes?”

I heard the door open. “We’re home,” said Violet.

We’re up here,” called Lillie.

Violet and Jeff came up the stairs and then Jeff saw me in my messy and open diaper. He turned away and left.

Lillie frowned and then began to wipe me clean. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what she was doing as Violet watched her changed me.

She just pooped now. I was going to make sure she was clean when you came back. Sorry.”

Violet smiled. “It’s not easy to predict that,” she said. “Go on and change her and I will get your babysitting money.”

Thanks,” said Lillie. She returned to the task of cleaning me. However, she had to go to the toilet a couple times to throw up before she had me wiped clean. She had just finished and had me in a clean diaper when Violet returned.

Here is your money?” said Violet. “Did you have any expenses?”

I bought her a Happy Meal,” she said. “That was only $3.79.”

Violet handed her four more dollars.

She put the money in her pocket and then helped me to my feet. Then she helped me with my pants. I went to Violet and put my arms tightly around her waist.

I guess she really missed you,” said Lillie.

She hasn’t been away from us since she came here,” said Violet.

Oh, and she talked.”

Violet looked surprised and then glared at me.

Yeah, she said a word in the medical supply store. The guy said it was a sign that she might get better. He didn’t guarantee anything though.”

Violet smiled at me. I didn’t blow my cover even though it was an excruciating weekend. “We hope for the best,” said Violet.

###

As soon as Lillie left the house, I looked at Violet. “May I please have a bath?”

You can wait until bedtime,” said Violet. “I know you messed yourself when you did to make Lillie panic.”

I wondered how Violet knew.

Besides, what was this about talking?”

I’m sorry. She put me in a skirt and took me to the medical supply store to get diapers. When Carlos asked her what kind of diapers I wore, she flipped up my skirt and showed him. I just accidently said, ‘Hey.’” I rolled my eyes. “She wasn’t exactly discrete about my condition.”

Be careful about your cover in case we need to hire Lillie as a babysitter again.”

No way,” I said. “Anyone but her.”

Was she that bad?”

I told her everything.

Well, go relax and I will make dinner.”

I left the room and went down to Jeff’s office to retrieve my book and get the ending read. When I entered, Jeff was sitting on the couch behind the desk.

I’m sorry you had to see me as disgusting as I was,” I said.

What?”

During my diaper change.”

It was just awkward. I didn’t mean to see anything.”

I picked up the book and sat in one of the chairs. Quickly, I found my place in the book. “So how was the weekend away with Violet?”

It was great. We went to St. Louis and saw the arch and then we stayed in a beautiful hotel room.”

Cool,” I said. I had never had anyone take me somewhere exciting. Peter never took me anywhere. I sat in the chair and read my book and then selected another one. “Is Violet getting a bit better?”

I think so,” he said. “Your willingness to put up with the way she treats you sure helps. I really don’t think it’s healthy for you though. Do you really want this treatment?”

Like you said, it helps Violet.” I smiled. “It’s only for two years.”

Your probation is for two years,” said Jeff. “The court never said you had to stay with us the whole time.”

I thought about how Jeff and Violet never beat me. “I like staying with you guys,” I said.

We like having you, Beth. Now go read in the living room. I need to catch up on the mail.”

I left the office and went to sit on the living room couch where I curled up with my book.

###

I received my much needed bath and was all dressed in my clean diaper and new t-shirt with a picture of the St. Louis arch on it as Violet led me to bed. I walked into the guestroom, but Violet turned my shoulder toward the nursery.

It’s back to the crib for you, Beth,” said Violet. “I need my baby.”

I smiled. “I actually missed my crib,” I admitted. “I felt like I was going to fall out of that bed. If I am saddled with another babysitter, please push that bed against the wall.”

I thought we would have an argument,” she said. She took my hand and helped me into the crib. I curled up and let her tuck me in.

Goodnight Beth. I am glad to have my baby back after my trip.”

I missed you too, Mommy.” I finally called her Mommy. It took being stuck with Lillie to really appreciate Violet and I enjoyed being taken care of.

Violet looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Calling me Mommy means a lot to me. Thank you.” She turned off my light and closed the door.

I lay in the crib several minutes before closing my eyes to go to sleep. I was once again safe in my crib and I had on a clean diaper. There was nothing else I needed. Was I really looking forward to leaving so I could use the toilet? Besides having to mess the occasional diaper or eat the occasional jar of baby food, everything was perfect. All I really was missing was friends.

Chapter Sixteen: Mommy’s Illness

In the weeks since Jeff and Violet’s weekend away, I had started to let Violet baby me even more. She still bathed me and put me to bed, but I stopped complaining before needing to poop and just kind of pushed it out wherever I was. It was gross, but then again, I was getting used to it, just like I was getting used to peeing. I wondered if pooping would ever stop feeling gross to me. Sitting in a wet diaper actually started to feel good. However, I wanted out of a poopy diaper immediately.

I woke up wet for the second day in a row. The first morning, I thought it was just a fluke, but now I was worried. “Mommy,” I said into the baby monitor. “I’m wet.”

Violet came to change me, but I still felt worried. What if this was a continual thing? Still, I forgot about the bedwetting when I found out what Violet had in store for me. We were visiting the Luther’s.

Mrs. Luther was always kind to me, but I knew I would once again have to face Lillie. I hadn’t seen her since she had babysat three and a half weeks before and today I knew I would have to face her again. I had no idea what horrors I would have to face with her.

Violet dressed me in my green corduroy short-alls and I frowned. “I’m not going to the Luther’s like this, Violet,” I said.

You are wearing what I dress you in.” She closed the latches on the bib of the overalls. They were the same type of latches that thwarted my attempt to poop in the potty at Violet’s editor’s office.

But this is the most babyish outfit I have,” I said.

Violet gave me a stern look. “And you are my baby, Beth.” She led me down the stairs.

Please don’t make me go to the Luther’s like this, Mommy,” I begged.

We are going to have breakfast before we go anyway,” said Violet. “Do you want canned peas or canned carrots?”

There was a mirror over the couch and as we walked down the stairs I saw myself in it. I looked less like a twenty-two-year-old and more like an eleven-year-old. It was awful. Complaining would do no good. Whenever I complained, I got fed baby food instead of adult food.

I fake smiled and looked in the mirror. “Actually, I was mistaken about the outfit being too babyish for me. Nothing is too babyish since I rely on my mommy to dress me and even change my diaper.” I looked pleadingly into her eyes. “Will you give me something yummy to eat for breakfast?”

Violet gave no indication that she knew I was faking, but she smiled. “I suppose we can have some breakfast tacos.”

Thank you, Mommy,” I said. I picked up my book off the coffee table and followed Violet into the kitchen where I sat at the table.

Violet went to the refrigerator and took out some bacon and eggs and started to cook them on the stove. She even warmed up the tortillas on the stove instead of merely microwaving them. I just read my book, while the meal was being cooked.

I got through half a scene about how a character named Miri had been caught stowing away on a starship. She was just about to be led to the captain when Violet interrupted my reading. I bookmarked my book and saw that Violet had put a plate in front of me with two breakfast tacos on it.

It’s time to eat,” said Violet. She sat across from me with a similarly loaded plate. The only difference was that she had a glass of orange juice and I had a sippy cup.

We prayed and then I took a bite of my breakfast taco. It was pretty good cooking. Even though Jeff and Violet were upper middle class and they ate out often, Violet had a few good recipes.

So will you be able to get along with Lillie today?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes, but at the stern look from Violet I nodded.

I know she embarrassed you at the mall and she wasn’t as responsible as I had hoped. However, it will break your cover if I punish her because of that because you really couldn’t have told on her.”

I took another bite, swallowed, and then stared. “I don’t like her,” I said.

It will just be for the morning.”

I guess I can deal with it this morning, Mommy, but I can’t handle being babysat by her.” I took a sip from my sippy cup.

We ate. Violet smiled at me between bites, until we finished. I sipped down the rest of my orange juice and looked at Violet. A sippy cup did not hold enough for an adult. “May I have some more juice?”

Violet smiled. “I have something else in mind.” She cleared the table including my sippy cup and put everything in the dishwasher. She then took some apple juice from the refrigerator and poured it into a bottle. She then took me by the hand to the living room.

We sat together on the couch and I lay with my head in her lap and was fed my bottle. The apple juice was nice and cool and I greedily drank it up. I was so thirsty for some reason and Violet was gentle. She was singing softly to me as I suckled on my bottle.

Suddenly Violet sat up straight. She lifted me off her lap and stood up and ran toward the downstairs bathroom. I put my bottle on the coffee table and followed her. I didn’t ever use the downstairs bathroom. In fact, it was off limits to me, but I followed Violet in anyway. She was in distress when she hurried to the bathroom and I was worried.

I found her on her knees in front of the toilet puking her guts out. Her face was red. I knelt beside her and rubbed her back until she seemed to get control of herself.

Are you all right?” I asked when she had changed positions to sit on the floor instead of kneel over the toilet.

I’m fine now. I was really nauseous,” she said.

Do you want to stay home instead of going to the Luther’s?” I asked. I am afraid that I asked the question too eagerly.

No, we are not missing the meeting,” she said. She stood up and washed her face and then took me by the hand to the car. We stopped by the living room long enough for me to pick up my book and Violet to pick up my diaper bag and my bottle, then we were out the door.

The car trip to the Luther’s was uneventful except for Violet making sure I was drinking my bottle. By the time we arrived at the Luther’s I had finished the bottle and was already feeling the need to pee.

Violet,” said Mr’s Luther as she met us at the door, “how was the trip?”

It was very enjoyable,” answered Violet.

And Beth,” she said, “I hope you are doing well. Your friend Lillie is in the bedroom. Do you remember her? I bet you will be glad to see her.”

I fake smiled. I surely remembered Lillie and her treatment of me and I was certainly not happy about having to spend the morning with her.

I followed Violet into the house and we walked into the living room where all the ladies were meeting. I looked at the clock. It was still stopped. I frowned. I hated the fact that the clock wasn’t wound. Today would be the day I would fix it.

Instead, Lillie appeared in the living room and took my hand. “Oh, Beth,” she said. “I’ll entertain you in the bedroom so you don’t get bored and bother the ladies during their meeting.” She pulled me toward the hallway, but first paused to grab my diaper bag.

As soon as we were in the bedroom, she unbuttoned my jeans and thrust her hand down the front of my diaper. “Still dry,” she said. She buttoned me back up. “I’ll change you if you wet,” she said, “but I’ll be checking on you. Violet said I let you get a rash, but she had done the same.”

I turned and sat on the bed. There were no toys, but Lillie reached into her bag and pulled out a stuffed animal, or rather just the head of a stuffed animal. It was a red bird. I looked at it again. The bird head had wings on the side of its head.

Caw caw,” she said and tossed the bird at me.

I caught it and held the thing. I wondered who would make a stuffed bird head. A phone rang in Lillie’s bag and she reached in and pulled out her phone before answering it. “Hi, Brian,” she said.

I rolled my eyes.

I’m just babysitting Beth.” She paused while listening to the response. “Yes, she is the one.”

I was starting to get mad. She took every opportunity to talk about me. However she changed the subject and talked about annoying teenage things with Brian. I was bored.

I saw Lillie’s bag and wondered it that Hunger Games book was inside it. She had dumped out my diaper bag and gone through it when I was in this room with her last. I dumped her backpack out on the bed. The effect was surprising. The Hunger Games book did tumble out of the bag along with a pair of khaki shorts and a camisole, a box of Girl Scout cookies, and two of those purple diapers.

I got to go,” said Lillie and then hung up the phone. She grabbed the diapers from me and then shoved them in her bag. “Beth, don’t go through my stuff.” She then gathered the clothes and cookies.

I wondered why she had the diapers. It had been weeks since she babysat me. Her face had turned red when she saw the diapers. They embarrassed her. I thought back to how so many of those purple diapers had been wet. I did not remember wearing that many. Was it possible that Lillie needed diapers? No. The very thought was absurd. I pushed the book at her.

Oh,” she said. “You want a story?” She picked up the book and started reading it. I just curled up beside her and closed my eyes and listened to the story. She didn’t read the whole story, but she did read almost the whole time. At least there were no vampires.

About midway through my time at the Luther’s, we were called in for refreshments. I sat at the table.

Beth, would you like some juice?” asked Mrs. Luther.

Violet smiled. “She can have juice.”

Lillie held a cup and Mrs. Luther poured juice in it. Lillie then put the cup in front of me. “Now don’t spill,” she said. “I’ll get you a cookie.”

I took a sip of my juice and then realized that I had to pee. I relaxed and wet my diaper. The wetness felt so warm. I was started to like the feeling of a warm diaper. I wondered what was wrong with me.

Lillie brought me the cookie. I was not a child, yet she had only brought me one cookie. I ate it and then drank the juice. When I finished, Lillie smiled at me.

All done,” she asked. She pulled me by the hand out of my seat and I followed after her back toward the bedroom. On the way back, Violet hurried past us to the bathroom. I didn’t get to see why she was in such a hurry because Lillie pulled me into the bedroom.

When we were alone, she shoved her hand in my diaper. “You are really wet,” she said. She laid me on the bed. “Let’s get you changed.”

I lay back as she undid the latches to my shortalls and pulled them off of me. I was just in my diaper and t-shirt and when she undid my diaper. I was really wet and really needed the change.

Before she could get me wiped clean and put in a clean diaper, Violet came in. She looked a bit pale. “Lillie, finish changing Beth. We are going to leave a bit early.” I looked at Violet and wished she would finish changing me. However, that wasn’t going to happen. She just sat in a chair by the door.

No, Lillie. You don’t have to rub the Desitin in that much,” said Violet. “You can just brush it on with a baby wipe. It’s really sticky stuff.”

Lillie frowned. “I wondered why it stuck to my hands so badly.” She took the wipe and brushed it on me which was a bit more comfortable than her rubbing it on my privates with her fingers. Soon I was changed and we walked out toward the car.

I hope you feel better soon, Violet,” said Mrs. Luther.

I was just a little nauseous,” she said. She took my hand. “Let’s go home, Beth.”

When we got to the car, I looked at Violet. “You don’t look so good. Are you sure you are okay to drive? I can drive.”

I was just a little nauseous. I’ll be fine if we go straight home. Besides, you don’t have your license or any ID whatsoever.”

That panicked me. “I have no ID of any kind? I left that stuff behind at Peter’s house. What am I going to do?” How would I get a job or anything if I didn’t have that kind of paperwork? I didn’t think I would be staying with Jeff and Violet forever.

You’re my baby and you don’t need all that grown up stuff. Relax. Besides, your probation officer brought all that stuff to us soon after you first moved in with Jeff and me.” She patted me on the leg. “Now let’s get home and we can take naps.”

We drove home. I didn’t care for the idea of a nap since I didn’t really do anything except wet my diaper, read, and watch TV. I did sleep whenever I was tired, which was rarely, because Violet put me to bed early every night. However, we walked in the front door, and she led me straight to my crib.

I’m going to take a nap so I will feel better,” she said and walked out of my room.

###

I woke up from Jeff shaking me. “Wake up. Violet overslept and told me to get you up.”

I sat upright and my blanket shifted down, revealing that I was only wearing a slightly wet diaper. Jeff looked away.

Can you please get me a t-shirt?” I asked. When I saw he was looking in the dirty clothes basket, I pointed toward the dresser. “The second drawer.”

He tossed me the first t-shirt he saw, the three Jacob moon shirt. I hated that shirt, but I pulled it on anyway. “I’m decent,” I said. At least my torso and diaper was covered by a clean t-shirt.

Jeff turned to me and the pulled down the side of my crib. I hopped out, but not without exposing the back of my diaper. “Do you need a change?” he asked me.

I didn’t know if I wanted him to change me. I hoped Violet would be able to change me. If she were ill though, maybe I could be an adult until she got better, unless Lillie were to come and take care of me. I hoped it didn’t come to that. “Umm,” I said.

Violet is taking a shower. If you can wait that long, she can change you,” he said. “Otherwise...” He let that thought trail away.

I can wait,” I said. “I’m just wet.”

Good,” he said. “Changing an adult is a bit too personal for me.”

He opened the dresser and found a pair of shorts and handed them to me. I stepped into them and buttoned them on. I had a little bit of trouble with the zipper because I hadn’t dressed myself in so long, but I got finished dressing. We walked downstairs to the living room.

We watched TV a bit and he asked me about my reading during the commercials. I told him about the Hunger Games Lillie was reading to me.

I heard about that series,” he said. “There is going to be a movie for that book.”

Oh yeah. Do you suppose Violet could take me?”

He laughed. “You’ll have to ask her.”

By the time Violet came down, I was already nose deep in a book. I looked up as she crossed the room to take her spot in her chair.

Feeling, better?” I asked.

Much better,” she said.

Will you change my diaper, Mommy,” I asked. “I’m very wet.”

Jeff looked at me a bit strange when he heard me call Violet Mommy. However, he just shrugged.

Come on, baby,” she said. She led me back up to my room and pulled off my shorts and began to change me. As she worked, she talked to me.

We both had big naps, didn’t we,” she said. “I’ve been a little bit tired the last few days and it really helps that you are being such a good girl for mommy.”

No problem,” I said.

Good,” she said. “Now let’s go back down and watch TV.”

I stood up and stepped into the shorts as she held them for me and buttoned them and then we returned downstairs.

###

After spending the evening with Jeff and Violet, I was put to bed. It was very hard to sleep since I had napped all afternoon. I tossed and turned until midnight and wet my diaper before I had even gotten to sleep. However, in my warm wet diaper I was able to get to sleep.

Chapter Seventeen: Changes Ahead

My days consisted of waking up, wetting my diaper, having a bath, and then spending the day with Violet as she either wrote, visited her editor, or went to meetings at the Luthers. Some days we went shopping which meant getting publically dragged around in diapers and child-like clothing. For entertainment, I either watched TV or read the books in Jeff’s study. That is how my days normally went.

Today was not normal. A cramp woke me up and I noticed my diaper was already wet. I had been wetting my diaper in my sleep more often in the last couple weeks. I wasn’t quite sure if the cramp was from needing to poop or my period starting. It was probably both, which really meant nothing. Diapers ended my need to worry about that type of thing. Usually I didn’t need to poop first thing in the morning, but today I did. Also Violet had been suffering from nausea for the past couple days. With Violet sick, I was reluctant to greet Violet first thing in the morning with a messy diaper, so I held it in and waited for her.

She came in when she heard me stirring in the baby monitor. “How did my baby sleep?” she asked.

I smiled back at her. “Okay, Mommy,” I said. She helped me out of the crib and I stood there slightly bent over from the cramping. “Are you feeling better?”

Violet smiled. “I’m doing good,” she said.

We went to the bathroom and Violet began drawing the water for my bath. I finally relaxed and filled my diaper. I could feel that it was a lot.

She didn’t seem to notice that I was messy. She sat on the toilet and watched the water fill and I just stood there with a big bulge in my diaper. Suddenly she got up and turned around, dropped to her knees, and fumbled with the LidLok before throwing up. She then dry heaved a bit and then sighed.

Wait here, Beth. I am going to call the doctor.”

I groaned. I wanted the dirty diaper off and I wanted my bath. I just stood there and waited until she came back. However, when she returned, I did not get my wish.

Beth, the bath will have to wait. We got to be at the doctor’s in thirty minutes or he can’t fit me in for three more days.”

Violet, I just pooped and I need a bath.”

Mommy has been feeling nauseous for a few days. I need to see the doctor. Lay down on the towel and I’ll change you and then we need to hurry and get you dressed.”

I lay down and then Violet finally noticed what I did in my diaper. “Oh, let’s get you changed.” She quickly cleaned me and put the new diaper on me before dragging me to my nursery. She then threw some clothes on me: a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with the hearts on it. The jeans were tighter than I wished, but I was sure I was just paranoid about the diapers. Once dressed, she dragged me to the car, stopping only to grab my diaper bag.

The drive to the doctor’s took most of the remaining thirty minutes. We had just come inside when the doctor motioned Violet to come straight back to an examination room. I just sat in the lobby, bored because I forgot my book. Instead, I picked up a magazine that I remembered from my childhood.

I had loved Highlights as a child and loved to read it every time I had gone to the dentist or doctor’s offices. I must have lost concentration for a while trying to find twenty-five different things between two pictures, that I forgot about how smelly I felt. Violet does a good job at changing me, but I always want a bath after a messy diaper and I had been cheated of that. Anyway, before I knew it, Violet had come out of the examination room and even paid for her office visit.

Did they find out what is wrong with you, mommy?” I asked. I said the mommy quietly so no one else would hear me calling her that.

The doctor said nothing was wrong with me,” said Violet. She smiled at me.

Something is wrong if you are throwing up every morning,” I said. “He had to say something more.”

He did,” she admitted. She opened the car door for me and I sat down and let her do my seatbelt. “I got to tell my husband before I tell anyone else.” She came around to the front of the car. “What do you want for breakfast?”

Breakfast tacos.”

Violet made a face and pulled into a Dairy Queen. She got me out of the car and we walked in. I scanned the menu for any breakfast items, but I didn’t really see anything.

Violet ordered for me. “I’ll have a blizzard, a misty, and a hotdog,” she said. She smiled. “And Beth will have a blizzard, a misty, and...”

No hotdog,” I said. “Make my misty cherry and my blizzard mint chocolate chip,” I said.

The man made our food and we went to a table to eat it. Violet put the straw in my misty and pushed it to me. She had ordered larges. I knew right away that the 32 ounces of misty would make me wet and I worried that the blizzard would give me other problems. I have a low tolerance for dairy and ice cream makes the problem worse. Before I came to live with Jeff and Violet I used to make sure that I was near a bathroom whenever I had ice cream. Peter had been so grossed out, that I wasn’t ever allowed to have ice cream while living with him.

So why ice cream for breakfast. You were always so strict about me eating ice cream for breakfast.”

I wanted ice cream,” she said. “And I really got the craving for a misty.”

I sipped my cherry misty. As a teenager, I had worked at a Dairy Queen and knew how to make the misty stuff. I had poured 5 gallons of water and a 5 pound sack of sugar into the misty machine along with one packet of the DQ misty stuff. I wasn’t sure what was in the misty envelope, but I knew that it was pure sugar flavored with squirts of pure sugar. It sure was yummy though.

Before we left, Violet and I had each drunken a 32 oz misty and eaten a large blizzard. I felt slightly ill, but Violet had a smile on her face. The next stop was Walmart.

I hated Walmart. Walmart had long aisles and the bathroom was always hidden. When Peter had let me leave the house, it was only Walmart where we would go. I want to go shopping at the mall or at specialty stores. I did not want to buy dresses or blue jeans in the same place that sold fishing lures. However, this was the first time Violet had taken me to Walmart. She only went to the pharmacy and gave the pharmacist a prescription.

That will be twenty minutes,” he said.

We sat on the little bench and waited. Twenty minutes was a long time and suddenly I had to pee. I tried to hold it because my jeans were a bit too tight and I knew the diaper would swell up. However, it just became too much and I started to pee full force into my diaper. It held it all, but I was sure I was going to pee all over the Walmart.

Finally Violet got her prescription and we left. I had to walk with a slight waddle but we made it to the car without incident. I couldn’t get home soon enough.

As soon as we got in the door I kicked off my shoes and undid my jeans and started getting undressed. I needed my bath.

Beth, what are you doing?”

I need a bath, mommy,” I said.

Do me a favor and just go in and take a shower, please. I’ll bring you some clothes. I really have to pee.” She turned and went to the master bedroom.

I was shocked. I had never taken a bath or a shower by myself since I moved in with Jeff and Violet. I closed the bathroom door and pulled off my diaper. I was worried when I saw what was inside. I had drunken the bright red cherry misty and I noticed a lot of wetness in my diaper.

I turned on the water and got the water temperature right, and was just about to plug the drain, but then changed my mind. Instead I closed the shower curtain and took a long shower. I paid special attention to soaping my nether regions and then I found the baby shampoo on the side of the tub and used that to wash my hair.

Once clean, I toweled myself dry and then look on the counter. Violet had just left a stack of clothes on the sink. I walked up and looked through it. A different t-shirt and the jeans I had worn that morning were stacked neatly. However, on top of the stack was a pair of panties.

Mommy,” I called into the hallway.

Do you need something, Beth?” Violet asked me.

I need a diaper,” I said. “You accidently put panties with my clothes.”

I thought, I’d let you be a big girl today,” she said.

Violet was really serious. I was allowed to wear panties today.

I got dressed. I felt funny. There was no crinkle as I walked and I had to tug on the waistband of my pants ever few minutes as I walked around. I eventually settled on the couch and read my book as I waited for Jeff to come home. I wondered what the news for Jeff she got at the doctor’s office was going to be. It was serious enough that she didn’t have time to baby me, but she also indicated that nothing was wrong. I thought about the trip to the pharmacy and that confused me a lot. Doctors don’t give prescriptions when nothing is wrong.

I was so nervous about the news and I couldn’t wait until Jeff got home so she could tell me about it. I also had nervous urges to pee. It seemed like I couldn’t go half an hour without having to go to the bathroom to pee. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of forgetting I was not wearing diapers and wetting myself.

###

Jeff came in at about half past five. I was a mix between excitement and worry when I saw him. “Hi, Beth,” he said when he came into the living room.

Hi, Jeff,” I said. “Violet needs to talk to you about something important. She won’t tell me what it is, so it must not really be any of my business, but I am worried about it just the same. She was acting weird all day since she came back from the doctor’s office.”

Was her nausea continuing?”

I nodded.

He went into Violet’s office and shut the door. They spoke in low tones, so I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Still, they seemed to be in there a long time. I tried to read my book, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. I just sat on the couch and tapped my foot nervously. Finally they came out.

Both Jeff and Violet were smiling. “Beth, do you want to go with us to Applebees?” asked Jeff. "We are celebrating.”

Celebrating?” I asked.

I’m having a baby,” said Violet.

It suddenly became clear to me why I was back in panties. Now I would be forced to be Violet’s maid and be subject to beatings if I failed to perform. I was no longer Violet’s baby. I smiled. “That’s wonderful, Violet.” I didn’t feel like smiling. I wondered what was in store for me.

###

Applebees was good. I had a nice meal and even had some drinks. We sat around the table and Jeff raised a glass to me. “Thanks for being part of our family the past few months, Beth,” he said. He smiled and lowered his voice. “I bet you are glad to be out of diapers now.”

I smiled back and took the last sip of my Dr Pepper. “Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom.” I got up and went to the bathroom.

I chose a stall and did my business and went to the sink and washed my hands. I had felt so embarrassed about the diapers and everything the last couple months and now, here I was with the ability to act like an adult. I quickly returned to our table and found that my drink was refilled. I sipped as Jeff and Violet talked among themselves.

So have you given any thought to what you are going to do next?” asked Jeff.

I froze. What could I do? “I guess I am going to help Violet with housework while the she’s dealing with the baby and stuff. I mean since she doesn’t want me to be her baby anymore.”

I hoped I had given the right answer.

We’ll talk about our options in the next couple of months,” said Violet.

I nodded. Things were changing and I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t really like change.

We don’t need to change anything right away, Beth,” said Jeff. “We’ll just move you to the guest room for now. We just need to discuss what to do when it is time for you to leave us.”

There it was. They were going to kick me out. I felt like crying. I wanted to respond, but my throat hurt and I knew if I said anything that I would start balling. When I lived with Peter, balling just got me a beating. I just stayed quiet until we left the restaurant.

The drive home was too much. As soon as I sat in the car I noticed I had to pee. I was about to wet myself. Twenty minutes later I felt a spurt in my panties. Unfortunately by the time we arrived at the house, there was a wet spot the size of a saucer on my pants and I was about to lose it. We pulled in the driveway and almost as soon as the car stopped, I got out and headed for the house.

Jeff had his key out and I was crossing my legs. Suddenly my crotch went numb and I began wetting. The wet spot grew and lost its roundness as rivulets of pee ran down my legs into my shoes. Jeff looked at me with concern, but Violet just shrugged.

Did you forget you weren’t in a diaper again?” asked Violet.

No,” I said. “I just couldn’t hold it.” I started balling without even trying to stop. I knew I would be beaten anyway, so there was no point in controlling my emotions.

Jeff got the door open and Violet escorted me to the bathroom. I just stood there and she had to undress me. Besides, I knew everything would be a big mess. However, as soon as I was naked and in the bath, Violet left me to clean myself.

Once clean I just sat in the water until Violet came with my jammies. It was just my sleeper, but I wanted to wear it most of all. There was also a pair of panties on top of pile. I looked at Violet. “I need a diaper for bed tonight.”

Beth, you don’t have to wear diapers anymore,” she said. “You can wear regular underwear. In fact I’ll take you to Vitoria’s Secret tomorrow and we’ll get you some nice bras and underpants.”

I shivered. I hoped she wouldn’t make me wear only underwear around the house like Peter had done. I had enjoyed the security of being a baby. Only a terrible person would hit a baby and no one had hit me during the time I spent diaper. I got dressed in my jammies and went down the stairs to join Jeff and Violet in the living room. I took my seat on the couch and hung my head.

Are you all right, Beth?” he asked.

I’m sorry I wet my pants,” I said. I waited for my punishment, but it never came.

You probably just need to remember that you aren’t wearing diapers anymore,” he said.

Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t want to tell him about needing the toilet every half hour or waking up wet, so I was just quiet.

So I heard you have two years of college,” he said. “You had pretty good grades before you dropped out too.”

Yeah,” I said. “I was an engineering student.”

You ever want to finish?” he asked.

Someday,” I said. “I don’t know how I will ever get the money. I don’t exactly have an income right now and I still owe you guys all that money.”

You’ve worked some of it off,” he said. “We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest?”

I walked to my nursery, and put down the rail and started to crawl in for the night, when Violet came in. “Don’t sleep in here,” she said. She took me by the hand and led me to the guestroom. “You will sleep in here for now on.”

The guestroom looked a bit different. The big full bed sat in the corner of the room now, so I would be more comfortable. I got under the covers and rolled over to face Violet. “Thank you for letting me be your baby. I felt so loved.”

She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “Jeff and I still love you very much. You were a very nice baby and helped me to heal and we got to find a way to thank you.” She turned out the light and left the room.

I tossed and turned a little trying to get comfortable and the bed crinkled a bit from the plastic mattress protector, but I finally got to sleep. Of course I woke up in the middle of a puddle wearing a wet sleeper.

Chapter Eighteen: Being an Adult

I’ve haven’t woken up wrapped in wet sheets for a long time. The last time, unfortunately, was when I first started college. In college a girl is allowed to experiment with grown up things and it was no different for me. After our first set of exams, Sylvia snuck some wine coolers into our dorm and the two of finished two six packs of them by ourselves. It was my first taste of alcohol and wine coolers are so nice and sugary that I just drank one after another until they were gone.

Waking up at three in the morning in college after wetting the bed was humiliating for me. Sylvia was nice about it, but she still teased me gently. Aside from that wetting, I think I wet my bed when I was in second grade once because I had soda before bed. I had gotten a spanking after that accident. So I had a good record when it came to bedwetting. However, wearing diapers allowed me to get lazy and I think I did something bad to myself.

I got out of bed and stood there looking at the puddle in the middle of the bed. I wore only my wet sleeper and the wet panties I had on underneath. I sighed. I started stripping the bed. I thanked God for small wonders that Violet had left the plastic sheet on the bed. I sopped up the puddle with the dry portions of the sheets and then threw the bundle in a pile on the floor. I looked down at the sleeper and then took it off and dropped it into the pile. I had no idea how I was going to hide this from Violet. I guess it would be my first job as Violet’s maid.

I picked up the bundle and opened my door. Violet was on the other side of the hall coming out of her room. “Beth, what are you doing?”

I froze as Violet closed the distance to me.

She looked past me to the bed and she probably couldn’t help but notice the wet sheets in my arms.

Did you wet the bed?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t help it,” I said. “Don’t spank me.”

Well, Beth,” she said. “Let’s not worry about the sheets right now. Instead let’s get dressed for the day.”

I was wearing only my peed in panties. I never would walk around in front of Sylvia like that. In front of Peter, I always wore a negligee or a teddy, but never just in a pair of panties, especially not a peed in pair. I let Violet take the sheets and throw them on back on the bed.

She led me to the bathroom. “Take a nice shower and I will get you some clothes. I did promise to take you to buy underwear.”

Even though I wet the bed?” I asked. “I thought you would punish me.”

Just get cleaned up. We’ll discuss the bedwetting later.”

I took a long shower and cleaned myself. I didn’t want the shower to end, because I dreaded the horrible punishment I would receive from Violet afterward. Finally, I couldn’t poke around in there any longer. I had already shaved my legs and underarms, washed and conditioned my hair, and scrubbed every inch of my body until it was pink. Finally I had to turn off the water.

My clothes were neatly laid out on the toilet. I dried off and then took the plain white panties and put them on. I then put on the Sponge Bob shirt and jeans she had laid out. There were no socks and no shoes, so I finally came out of the bathroom fully dressed.

I’m ready to discuss the bedwetting,” I said. I was nervous, and held my hands together in front of me.

We don’t have to talk about it immediately,” she said. “Let’s sit down in the living room and talk about it.”

I followed her down the stairs. My blanket with the toys on it was gone. They were probably put away, just like the LidLok on the toilet and the bath toys that had disappeared. We sat on the couch and she sat beside me.

So what happened?” she asked.

I’ve been waking up in a wet diaper the past couple weeks,” I said.

Violet got a sad look on her face and then looked at me. “Oh,” she said. “It’s probably my fault then. I’ve been babying you to make myself happy and I didn’t think of the physical consequences to you.”

You mean that you aren’t going to punish me?” I was astonished.

No, I am not. However, we still have to wash your wet things.” She looked me in the eyes and said, “Beth, do you mind terribly if we went back to diapers for the nighttime until you are able to make it through the night without wetting?”

I did feel safer in diapers and although I wanted my adulthood back, I couldn’t help feeling incomplete without the diapers. “Yes, mommy,” I said. “I am willing to wear diapers to bed again.”

She gave me a hug. “I’ll try to make it up to you the way I treated you.” She smiled. “Let’s get you some underwear. You really can’t survive on three pairs of panties.”

I did a mental inventory. There was the pair I wet last night outside the door, the pair I wet in bed, and the pair I had on now. That meant that I had no underwear left. I wondered if I wet now, I would be put back in diapers for the day.

Let’s go then,” she said. She then looked down at my feet. “Oh. Shoes. Yours are still wet from the washing machine, so let me get you something else.” She left me and returned with a pair of flip-flops. They were pink and had pink sequins on the cloth part. She also brought my pink headband and put it in my hair.

Your hair is starting to grow out a bit more. It’s not enough to make pigtails, but it is growing longer.” It was true. I had about four inches of hair and Violet had been trying to comb it into as girly style as she could. It still went all over the place and those headbands we bought on our first shopping excursion had come in handy. I slipped on the flip flops and we went to the mall.

###

The mall had the same few stores, but I didn’t care. It was the mall. It would be fun as long as I didn’t have to go to Hot Topic. However, as soon as we got to the mall, I announced that I had to pee.

Didn’t you just go at home?” asked Violet.

I had gone in the shower, but I didn’t want to tell Violet I had such a gross habit. “I did go at home, but I have to go again.”

Okay, let’s go then.” She led me toward the bathrooms. Of course when we got there all the stalls were taken.

I put my hand in my crotch and rocked while I waited for another stall.

Why are you so desperate?” she asked.

I’m going to have an accident,” I said. Fortunately, someone came out of a stall and I managed to hobble in there and get my pants down. I was surprised that I had made it to the toilet.

Violet managed to get a stall next to mine and she did her business while I examined my panties. They weren’t wet, but it would have been a matter of seconds before I started flooding. I wondered what was going on. I didn’t really pee that much though.

I came out and washed my hands. Violet joined me. “I’m sorry for that childish display,” I said.

Do you have trouble holding if for long?” asked Violet. Everytime she’d seen me, I had been either in diapers or on the verge of an accident.

I used to be able to hold it an hour or two,” I said. “It seems like the last couple days I’ve had to go every half an hour. When I was in diapers I just relaxed when I got the slightest urge, so I didn’t bother trying to hold it.”

It’s good I am letting you out of diapers now,” she said. “A few more months and you might have had to wear diapers permanently.”

What do you mean?”

Your bladder is just a little weaker now. That is probably why you are wetting the bed too. That’s why it is important for you to try to wear panties.”

We left and went to Victoria’s secret. Violet selected several things for me. It was more than just pushup bras and matching panties. She even bought me a pair of adult pajamas. I had a feeling that sleepers would be a thing of the past.

We finished shopping and we left the store with little pink striped bags. As we were walking through the mall, we came across a watch place. Violet stopped and we looked at watches for a few minutes.

I’m getting you a watch,” she said.

Okay.” I didn’t really have or wear a watch and I hadn’t since before college. In college I had a cell phone, so really didn’t need a watch and then Peter had told me I didn’t need a watch because there was a clock on the stove. As Violet’s baby, I didn’t have a watch because I really had no set schedule. I just did what Violet had me do.

She selected a digital watch and asked the guy at the watch counter about alarms and stuff. I didn’t really pay attention and I was disappointed by Violet’s suggestion.

However she had something in mind. We went to the food court and she let me select the place to eat. I looked around and saw the Hardees. I had loved the food there, but I shuddered at the thought of pooping in my panties. I knew I would be able to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t shake the memories. Cold Stone was a no. I was on the toilet the whole afternoon from the ice cream and didn’t want to deal with that. McDonalds was a big no. I did not want another Happy Meal. That just left the Chinese place and Sbarro Pizza.

Sbarros,” I said.

That sounds like a plan,” said Violet.

We got our pizza and sat down at a table and Violet started playing with the settings on my new watch. I ate in silence, wondering what she had planned.

I set your watch for every thirty minutes,” she said. “It should beep and then that should tell you when to go to the bathroom. We’ll make the time longer each time and find a happy medium between accidents and not building your bladder muscles.” She took my arm and slipped the watch on me.

Okay,” I said. “What if it doesn’t beep when I am desperate or it beeps when we are in the car or something?”

Beth, it’s not a perfect system, but you do need to be able to hold it longer again.”

Okay,” I said. “I will try my best.”

That’s all I ask.” We left the mall.

###

It was good to be home again. However, I felt miserable. I could only use the toilet when my watch beeped and that meant crossing my legs with desperation waiting until the next beep. It was awful.

However, Jeff came home. He looked at me and smiled. “We got a lot to talk about tonight.”

Oh,” I asked. I knew he was going to talk to me about how they were kicking me out because Violet was going to have a real baby.

We got to talk about what you want to do next,” he said. “Come in my office.”

I entered and then Violet came in and sat with us. Jeff pulled out a folder and spread some stuff out for me. It was a statement for my restitution payment plan and there was also a check laying there. I looked it over, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking at.

You owed us 25 thousand,” he said. “However, you have been with us for about six months already and in that time you have earned money working for us.”

I wasn’t sure how much work I had done. I also wasn’t sure how six months could have gone by while I was just acting like a baby for Violet. “How much do I have left,” I asked. I wondered if I could get a job and make back enough to pay them the rest.

Well, your insurance company settled and gave you a check for eleven thousand,” he said. “That’s unfortunately all you get from a totaled brand new car. I didn’t know your car was paid for until the insurance company sent you the money.” He tapped into the calculator. “At the rate of pay Violet and I set for you, you have paid us off. In fact you have 13 hundred left.”

So what do you want me to do next?” I asked. I was free. I didn’t owe anyone anything, but I really had no place to go. I needed to be taken care of. I couldn’t get a real job.

You can do whatever you wish now,” he said.

We loved having you here, Beth,” said Violet.

I felt scared a bit and felt my pants suddenly get warm. I looked down and realized that I was peeing myself. Jeff and Violet both noticed right away. Violet got up and just walked out. Jeff looked at me with pity.

I’m sorry,” I said. Just then my watch beeped.

Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We will make it up to you.”

Just then Violet came back with a towel and had me stand up so she could wipe the puddle from my chair. I was about to go to the bathroom to clean up, but she put her hand on my shoulder. “This is important. We want to make sure you have a good start.”

I just sat in my wet pants as I was told what was expected of me.

Jeff ignored my wet crotch. “We think you ought to go back to school and finish your degree. You can stay with us until classes start in the fall and you can come stay with us for all your breaks.”

Jeff and I will cosign for you on your student loans,” said Violet.

Do you want me to go to college?” I asked.

We want you to do whatever you want, but Violet and I wanted to give you that option.”

Okay,” I said.

Now let’s fill out these forms,” said Jeff.

###

Forms were filled out and soon I would be going to college. Violet helped me upstairs where I took a much needed bath. I put on a new pair of panties and my pink shorts and sat on the couch reading.

Jeff smiled at me. “Don’t worry. You have a few months to get your bladder under control. Violet told me you got a bit too used to having diapers and you need time to learn how to be without them.”

Thanks,” I said. “I am really embarrassed about this.”

Well, don’t let it bother you. You really helped Violet and we want the best for you. You are our daughter and we really care for you.”

Thanks, Jeff,” I said. “I never felt so loved as when I was Violet’s baby.” My watch beeped and I excused myself to use the restroom.

When I returned, Violet came to me. “It’s late. Do you want to go to bed?”

I nodded.

I get you a diaper and then you can put on your new pajamas.”

I looked at her confused for a second. “I don’t know how to put on a diaper. Will you please help me, Mommy.”

Of course I will,” said Violet. She took me to my room and I sat on the bed. I got undressed and lay back as Violet powdered and diapered me. She helped me get my jammies on and then tucked me in bed.

Thanks, Mommy,” I said.

I love you. Have pleasant dreams.” She turned off the light and closed the door, leaving me alone.

I lay back once again comfortable in my warm diaper. I laid back dreading my potty training that would take place the next couple of month until college started again and then wondered if I could hold it long enough to sit through a college class. I hoped I could because I would finish this time. I would still miss being taken care of.

Chapter Nineteen: Potty Training

Even though I had gotten to enjoy the baby treatment, it had still been humiliating to have to wear and mess diapers. When it started, I thought I would never be more humiliated. I never guessed that I would need potty training and how humiliating that would be.

My bladder was so weak, that I almost constantly had an urgent need to pee. It was awful. At Violet’s house, I could make it to the toilet almost every time, but now we had left for Violet’s editor.

Be good while I have my meeting,” she said and left me in the waiting room. I groaned and then sat on the leather couch and began to read my book. Violet went into the editor’s office.

May I get you some water?” the receptionist asked.

Yes, please,” I said.

She gave me a bottled water and then I sipped on it as I read. Before I knew it, the water was gone. Since having my panties back, I had realized that drinking liquids makes it even harder to hold it and I probably should have passed on the water, but I hadn’t.

What made regaining bladder control difficult was that I felt I had to pee and then fifteen minutes later, I wet myself. If I did make it to the toilet, I would have another fifteen minutes before I started feeling the need to go, so I could only hold it thirty minutes on the day I first started potty training. I had to extend the time to two hours and I wasn’t making very good progress. I had only set the alarm on my watch to give me thirty-five minutes between bathroom trips.

I had to go badly by that time and I looked at the watch. I had two minutes left. I had to hold it longer and longer to strengthen my bladder or I would never regain any useful control. Some of the classes in college were an hour and a half and I couldn’t just slip out of a lecture two times to go pee. I needed to make progress, so I just suffered and crossed my legs and tried to read.

After the final two minutes ended, I heard a beep. I got up and walked to the bathroom, but it was hard. I was in a public place and didn’t want to hold myself, but my bladder was about to burst. Once in the ladies room, I put a hand between my legs and almost hobbled into a stall. Before I could even get my belt unbuckled, the dam broke and pee started flooding out.

I said earlier that I can’t stop peeing once I start and I peed until I was empty. In my pants. In public. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were not Violet’s editor’s office, but it was. I sat down on the toilet, with my pants still up, and cried. If Violet hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would be in a nice wet diaper and my pants would be dry. I couldn’t walk out like I was and I couldn’t change because my clothes were in the car.

I don’t know how long I sat in the stall before Violet came in. “Beth, are you in there,” she asked.

I stepped out of the stall and let her see my wet pants. “I didn’t make it,” I said. “I hated to do this at your work. I told you that you should have put me in a diaper before leaving the house.”

Violet looked at me. I was sure she was studying the pee stain that must have covered my butt and the insides of my legs. Diapers weren’t really that embarrassing. They are a whole lot less noticeable than wet pants. “That change of clothes in your diaper bag would have come in handy,” she said. She pointed to the puddle on the floor. “Wipe up the mess you made and then get undressed. I have an idea.” She then left me there.

I got some paper towels from the sink area and then soaked up the pee puddle and then threw the paper towels away. I then went back into the stall and peeled off my blue jeans and orange panties and then sat on the toilet and waited. I didn’t have to wait long before Violet came back. She carried a duffle bag. She opened the stall door and tossed me a few items. One was a blue skirt and when I went to pull it on, discovered that it had panties built into it almost like a cheerleader’s skirt. I pulled it on and then took off my shirt to pull on the white cammie. Both the skirt and the cammie were a couple sizes too large for me and I was worried about how short the skirt was and wondered if it was inappropriate attire for Violet’s office but it was better than peed in jeans. I folded my wet jeans and then rolled them up with the panties tucked in one of the pockets and then came out of the stall.

Violet was gone, but then she emerged from the next stall dressed similarly to myself. She took my wet bundle and stuffed it in the duffle and smiled at me. “Let’s go,” she said.

I followed her out the door and into the lobby. At the same time, I wondered why she had changed her clothes too. She hadn’t peed her pants.

Oh, you changed,” said the receptionist. She smiled at Violet. “Are you finally going to start playing again?”

Yep,” she said. “My niece finally noticed the tennis courts in the park and begged me to stop and let her play. She hasn’t been on the courts since before she broke her arms.”

I nodded.

Well, have fun,” said the receptionist. “It’s too nice a day. I wish I could go out with you.”

Bye,” said Violet.

I waved.

She led me out the door and to the parking lot. However, when we went to the car, she just went to the trunk and opened it to throw in the duffle bag. She then reached into the trunk and pulled out some tennis rackets. “Jeff won’t mind if you use his racket,” she said and handed me one. We then walked across the street to the park.

I hadn’t played tennis in awhile and I was concerned about playing with Violet since she was pregnant. However, she led me to the court and then smiled at me as we walked in.

Are you sure you can play while pregnant?” I asked.

It’s my first trimester. It will be okay.” She walked around the net. “Besides,” she told me, “the receptionist assumed we changed because we were playing tennis.”

I frowned. “As opposed to me wetting my pants.” I looked at Violet with a pleading look. “Will you please put me back in diapers when we get home?” I asked. “I hate this.”

Do you want to wear diapers to college? I won’t be there to change you.” Violet stepped back and got ready to serve.

No, I don’t want to wear diapers to college.” I said as I walked backward to a good position on the court. I held up my racket and waited for Violet’s serve.

In the end, Violet beat for two sets. We didn’t even bother playing the third. “You’re good,” I said.

Played for all four years of college,” she said. She was sweating as we walked to the car. “I was there during the time they made sports a requirement for girls so they could comply with Title IX stuff. They could spend a whole lot on a few guys playing football if they had a sport for every girl to participate in.”

They didn’t require sports at my college,” I said, but then I realized I really had to pee. I looked at my watch and it had 25 minutes left. I had missed my last bathroom trip by ten minutes. Now it was urgent. “Violet, I really have to pee?” I said.

We walked to the bathrooms, but there was a sign saying they were out of order. Violet tried the door. They were locked.

I crossed my legs and tears filled my eyes. “What am I going to do?”

Just squat and go,” she said.

And wet your skirt?” I asked.

It will wash,” she said.

I was going to wet my pants anyway, so I just squatted down and peed through the panties of the skirt while Violet rubbed my shoulders. Soon I was done and we walked back to the car.

We got in the car and started driving home. I fingered the towel I was sitting on and then looked at Violet again. “Mommy, I need to wear diapers again. I hate these accidents and I keep wetting my panties all the time.”

I know,” she said. “It’s tough after you’ve relied on diapers for so long. However, if I put you back in diapers and you wet whenever you feel like it, then you will never regain your bladder control.”

I looked at my watch and then thought for a little bit. Suddenly I knew what to argue. “What if I try to keep my diaper dry? I’ll just wet when my watch tells me I can. If I have an accident and wet earlier, then it will be less messy.”

Violet didn’t say anything for a few minutes and we rode in silence. As we were about a mile from the house, she said, “I think I made a mistake of trying to potty train you like an adult. Let me see if I can get what I need in your size. Until then, I guess we can put you back in diapers.”

I smiled when I learned I had achieved a victory.

###

Beth, why are you back in diapers?” asked Jeff. He seemed annoyed and a little embarrassed at how I was dressed. As a baby I normally didn’t sit around in just a diaper or a t-shirt.

I tugged at the hem of my shirt. “I’ve been having accidents today and I begged Violet to put me back in diapers,” I said. I returned to reading my book.

He sat down next to me and took the book. He set the book aside and looked at me. “Beth, you need to try harder. You got to regain your bladder control to go to college unless you want to wear diapers to class.”

I wondered what everyone would think of a college girl who needed diapers. I was sure I’d be made fun of. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stop wearing diapers cold turkey. Violet said she was going to try something else to potty train me.”

He took my book and was about to hand it back to me. “You can get out of diapers eventually. You helped Violet become herself again and I thought that was impossible.” He handed my book back. “Now a new episode of our favorite show is on tonight, so let’s go watch it after dinner.”

Cool,” I said.

###

It had been three days since the tennis court incident, and I had worn diapers since then. I was sitting on the couch when my watch beeped. I smiled and relaxed, letting my diaper start to feel warm when the doorbell rang.

Violet walked out of her office and scowled at me when she passed and answered the door. I quickly threw a blanket over myself and looked up to see who was at the door. It was a UPS guy and he had a package with him. Violet signed for the package and then she closed the door.

So what did you order?” I asked.

She set the box on the coffee table. “It’s special underwear for you.” She tore open the box and pulled out some items. I looked at them closely. It looked like ten pairs of panties that looked like they were made out of towels and then she pulled out five panties made of plastic. “These will do nicely,” she said.

Those are baby training pants and covers,” I said. “Where did you get them in my size?”

She took a pair of the panties and a set of the plastic pants. “They have everything on the Internet.” She took my hand. “Now let’s get you out of that wet diaper and start potty training you.”

She took me to my room and I lay on the floor. She cleaned me pretty nicely and I smiled at her. However, once the diaper was off, she pulled me to my feet and handed me the training pants. It was like granny panties, but they were made from a towel. I pulled them on and they felt so soft. Then she pulled on the plastic pants. Those were different. They had elastic at the legs and the waist. The leg bands felt a bit tight and I yanked at them.

Stop touching yourself,” she said.

But,” I started to say. The plastic of the pants touched against my skin where the training pants didn’t cover and plastic doesn’t feel good against the skin.

She turned and opened my closet. “What do you want to wear, pants or a skirt?”

A skirt, I guess,” I said.

She of course picked the pink short skirt. She tossed it to me and I pulled it on. At least it matched the pink of the plastic pants.

After sitting downstairs for a while, I started to sweat. The plastic pants just held the heat against my skin and I was uncomfortable.

Violet,” I said, “I’m hot and sweaty in these.” I pointed at the plastic pants. “Can I please have my diapers back?”

No, we are potty training you.”

My watch beeped again and I realized I had to pee really bad, but I didn’t care.

Beth, it’s time to use the toilet.”

No,” I said. I wanted my diapers back. Violet cared for me when I was in diapers. Now she was being mean. Maybe if I kept having accidents, Violet would be forced to diaper me. I relaxed and wet myself.

Beth, stop,” she said, but it was too late. I couldn’t stop until my bladder was empty.

Wetting in training pants with plastic pants over them is not like wetting a diaper. The panties soaked up some of the pee, but most of it pooled in the crotch of the plastic pants.

Violet pulled up my skirt and looked at the pee in the bottom of my plastic pants. She glared at me. “I know you did that on purpose. I should give you a spanking.”

I started to cry. I was being a brat and I had crossed the line. This was where the beatings would begin. I still had to beg. “I’m sorry,” I said. I turned around and bent down to grab my ankles. I closed my eyes.

Violet touched my shoulder gently and pulled me to a standing position. “You seem used to spankings,” she said. “Come on.” She led me to the kitchen and had me sit in one of the chairs. Of course the puddle washed over a different area of my crotch.

Is there anything I can do to make potty training easier for you?” she asked. “You’ve been miserable since you’ve been out of diapers. The only time I’ve seen you happy is the last couple of days.”

I feel loved when I am diapered. You just yell at me whenever I either had to wear panties or with this torture device.” I pointed down to my plastic pants. They were getting hot and it was pretty humid in there with all the pee I was sitting in.

I looked her in the face. “I know I deserve a spanking for wetting on purpose, but I’ve really gotten used to being your baby and no one hits a diapered baby. I guess I don’t want to give up the diapers because I know the beatings will continue.” I started to cry.

Violet pulled me closer to her and gave me a hug. She rubbed my back while I cried. “No one is going to hit you, baby. Don’t cry.”

It took a few minutes for me to get back under control and then Violet and I talked for a while as I told her my fears and everything that bothered me.

Thanks for reassuring me, mommy,” I said. “I am ready to have my diaper change.”

Beth baby, we still need to get you potty trained. I’m still your mommy, but I need you to try to be a big girl for me. Besides, you don’t want to wear diapers to school, do you?”

No, I don’t,” I said. “I still want to be your baby though and these plastic pants are hot and I’m sitting in a pool of pee.”

Yeah, let’s get you some new underpants on and we’ll try potty training again,” she said.

###

I hobbled into the bathroom at the mall and came to a stop right in front of the stall. “Dammit,” I said. Pee soaked my training pants, but the plastic pants kept it from staining my light blue pants. That would have been obvious.

What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” Violet gave me a concerned look. I had made it to the toilet most of the time at home, but when we went out, I had an accident at least two out of three times. It was humiliating. The watch Violet gave me had worked toward strengthening my bladder, but it did so at the cost of my dignity.

What do you think?” I asked. “I had another accident. I am never going to make it to be accident free before school starts.”

Nonsense,” said Violet. “It’s been only two months and you have been able to go for over an hour between bathroom visits.”

I looked at my watch. It was counting down from an hour and fifteen minutes and I could usually handle that without an accident. Usually. Not when my watch beeped on the other side of the mall and the bathroom was closed for cleaning. If truth be known, if I was actually at college I wouldn’t have waited past the need to go until my watch beeped. I was not going to be courting accidents to that extent. I just wanted to get through class and maybe sip a soda like I usually did.

But college was another six weeks away. I still had another month with Violet before I was going to move out and then I would spend the two weeks before college settling in to my new apartment, if I could find one. I couldn’t afford much. I knew I didn’t want to live in the dorms, since I still couldn’t master the bedwetting.

Do we have my diaper bag in the car?” I asked Violet.

No, we don’t,” she said. “Just try to go to the bathroom and clean yourself.”

I went in and all I could really do is dump the pools of pee from the inside of my plastic pants and wipe them with toilet paper. I pulled back up my wet training pants and then pulled the now dried plastic pants back up and then rearranged my clothing. I felt uncomfortable. The pee in the training pants had time to cool and I knew from experience that I would have to sit in the hot car and sweat. Sweating was much worse in wet panties than in dry and I would have a miserable time until we got home. I came out of the stall and Violet looked at me.

We got to go to Barnes and Noble next,” said Violet. “I promised I would pick up some of Jeff’s shopping.”

Can’t we go home?” I asked. “I’m uncomfortable.”

I think that is a good motivator for you to learn to control yourself,” said Violet.

I sighed and followed her out of the ladies room. We walked toward the book store, a place I normally loved to go, but I rather wanted to put on dry pants a little more.

We were halfway there when we Sylvia came up to me. “Hi, Beth. Are you okay?”

Sylvia!” I said and gave her a hug. I turned to Violet. “This is my old roommate Sylvia.”

Nice to meet, you. I am Violet.” She put her hand out, but Sylvia ignored it.

Oh, you are the one who is using Beth. I am not happy about how you are treating her.”

Stop,” I said. “Violet treats me fine.”

She lowered her voice. “She has you wearing diapers and threatening that she will send you to jail if you don’t agree.”

It’s not like that,” I said.

Violet looked at me. “Your friend knows about this?” She looked at Sylvia. “Let’s get a bite to eat in the food court and I try to explain.” She took my hand and we went to eat.

###

...and so we are sending Beth to college in the fall to complete her education. She has been wonderful to me and I really love her and want to make it up to her.”

Sylvia looked a little placated. Violet had admitted she had used me and I was vulnerable since I only truly felt love while diapered and associated the two.

I’d want to take her home with me and I’ll make sure no one hurts her,” said Sylvia. “I believe your story, but I think she is safer living with me. I have an extra room and live near the college.”

Violet looked at me. A tear ran down her cheek. However, she didn’t waver when she spoke. “I don’t know that making her live with you is better than her staying with me. I am working on getting her ready for school again. She has a little problem we have yet to overcome and we need another month. However, by then she will start school.”

They were both arguing over me like I wasn’t there. My crotch and hips and everything under my plastic pants were hot and the peed in panties against my skin didn’t help. I wanted to go home and have a bath. However Violet added something important to the conversation.

Maybe we should find out what Beth wants.” Both women looked at me.

Um,” I started to say. I loved both Sylvia and Violet, but I thought Violet had a better chance of making sure I strengthened my bladder before college. I looked at Sylvia. “I really miss living with you, but I need to stay with Jeff and Violet a little longer. Can I wait to move in with you on the first of August? I need a place to stay during college, if you have room for me.”

Of course I have room for you,” said Sylvia. “I’ll be working during the day, but my apartment is a two bedroom and I have plenty of room for you. I wish you could stay earlier though.”

I can’t,” I said. “I need to enjoy the little bit of time I have left with my mommy before I go live with you. I’ll be safe. I never have felt unsafe with them.”

She’s like my daughter,” said Violet. She looked at Sylvia. “I want you to keep her safe. I only found out a few weeks ago, but Beth’s old boyfriend hit her. I want you to make sure she stays away from people like that.”

Sylvia’s lips curled. “That won’t be a problem.”

My watch beeped and I got up and walked toward the food court bathrooms. Sylvia followed me. I went in and used the stall and peed in the toilet. Something was going right at least.”

Did that woman let you stop wearing diapers?” asked Sylvia when I came out of the bathroom.

Yeah,” I said. “My bladder is a little weaker now but we’ve spent the last two months with bladder strengthening exercises.”

What is that?” she asked.

I explained. She was angry at Violet again, but I calmed her and said it was all right. She squeezed me into a hug and we then left the bathroom to rejoin Violet.

###

By the time Violet and I left the mall and got home, I was cranky. I had sat in wet panties for over three hours and wanted nothing more than a bath and a change. We got home and I got my bath, but when it was over, she got a diaper.

Why a diaper?” I asked.

It’s time for a nap, you are being crabby.”

It was true, but I’d had a tired day. I was ready to sleep.

###

I hurried into the restroom and pulled down my jeans and thick training pants and sat down and peed. I looked at the watch. It had been two and a half hours since I last peed and that was with all the soda I was sucking down in the restaurant. I was doing better than when I started to live with Violet.

I returned to our table and Jeff smiled at me. “Our house is going to be so empty without you. I will have no one to discuss books with or watch fantasy shows on HBO.”

Violet smiled. Her belly was a lot rounder since she was almost halfway through her pregnancy.

Oh, I think your house is going to fill up before you notice,” I said. “Violet is a wonderful mommy and I think any baby would be lucky to be with you two.”

Thank you, Beth,” said Violet. “We will both miss you so much.”

Well, I’ll be back for Thanksgiving,” I said. “And Christmas.”

You better,” said Jeff.

We celebrated a bit more before we finally went home. The next day was moving day.

Chapter Twenty: The Clock Starts and Beth Moves out

Wake up, Beth,” said Violet.

I sat up a little in bed, and saw Violet. She smiled at me. “Is it time to move yet?”

Not yet. We got a busy day. First we got to go to the Luther’s for the meeting and then we have to get you some school supplies. We have a busy day, so hurry and take your shower.”

I showered and then put on some clean training pants. I was about to go back to my room and get dressed when Violet met me. She held a diaper in her hands.

I’m hurrying,” I said.

The Luthers still think you are brain damaged,” she said. “One last day in diapers won’t hurt. Just lie on the bed.”

I lay on the bed and let Violet diaper me. It might be my last time to ever be diapered by Violet, so I lay down and closed my eyes and let her change me.

I sat up and groaned when I saw my outfit. It was the light blue overalls. I hated the overalls. Without my Victoria’s Secret pushup bras, I looked pretty flat with overalls. However, I was going to be her baby one last day and I had to make it work.

I grabbed my diaper bag and put my book inside and we went out to the car to see the Luthers.

###

The path up to the house was short, but Mrs Luther opened the door and smiled at me. “Hi, Beth,” she said. I gave a halfhearted wave.

Oh, you understand me,” she said. “Can you say hi?”

I just looked at her.

Beth is still non-verbal, but the doctor helped her make her needs known,” said Violet. “She can let me know if she needs a clean diaper or if she is hungry.”

I bet that is nice,” she said.

I ignored her and we went into the house.

Lillie is not here yet,” Mrs. Luther said. “Do you think Beth can sit still until snacks?”

I think Beth can control herself a little bit,” said Violet. She sat me down on the floor and took a seat on the couch behind me. The boring meeting began.

I spent my time looking at the clock. It was still stuck at 9:30, but that was far too late as it was still morning. I frowned. The stupid clock just sat there without moving. It was my last day at the Luther’s house, but I was not going to leave until I wound the clock. Acting like a toddler was bad because no adult would sit by and let me wind it.

The women droned on and on about this and that. Then soon the topic of the conversation drifted to me. “You’ll have your hands full with the new baby and Beth. Are you ready to have two in diapers?”

Violet smiled. “I’m trying to potty train Beth.”

How’s that working? Can she even learn anything?”

Violet’s smile left her. “Well actually, it seems I have set her back a bit in her healing process. The doctor suggested a special school for her, so she might be able to function at a higher level. She said a few words so far, and we think she might regain some function.”

So where is the school?” one of the ladies asked.

Violet gave a town name and then got a sad look on her face. “Jeff and I are going to take her there tonight. I sure will miss her.”

Beth, are you looking forward to school?” asked Mabel. I looked at her and smiled. Then I proceeded to wet my diaper. It had been two and a half hours, so I thought I had been doing well.

Well let’s get some refreshments,” said Mrs. Luther. Everyone filed out of the living room toward the kitchen. I remained seated in front of the couch.

Now was my chance. I crawled toward the clock and opened the door. The three weights were in the bottom of the clock. I stood and then pulled the chain on the first clock until the weight came to the top of the clock. Then I pulled the next chain up and I got the third pulled to the top without incident. Finally, I gave the pendulum a little push and the clock started tic-tocking.

I winced as the clock struck 9:30. Someone was bound to hear. I had little time to set the time and I opened the door on the clock face and started turning the hands.

Everytime I passed a strike point, the clock chimed and I waited, but finally got it set at 11:55 just as Mrs. Luther came in.

Oh, Beth, the clock is not a toy.” She came up to me and pulled me back gently and then shut the doors on the clock face and the door underneath where you wind it. “My husband built that clock before he died. It stopped working a while back, but I’m going to have it fixed some day.” She took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen.

What happened, April?” asked Mabel.

Beth was trying to get into the clock again. She is fascinated by it. Every time she is here, I have to keep her from it.”

I was angry. I had just started the clock and it seemed to be running okay. Did the woman not know you have to wind a clock if you want it to work?

Violet walked from the hall from the bathroom. “I swear when you are pregnant, you have to go ever half hour. What’s all the excitement?”

Beth was playing with the clock again.”

She didn’t break it?” asked Violet.

It’s been broken for two years,” said Mrs. Luther. “It broke the same week that Henry died.”

Suddenly the clock struck twelve. I looked at the digital clock on the VCR and it said twelve as well.

Mabel and Mrs. Luther both turned to look at the clock. “Well maybe she jarred something that had stopped the clock,” said Mabel.

That’s probably it,” said Mrs. Luther. “Well let’s have refreshments.”

Violet glared at me. “What did you do to that clock?” she whispered.

I just wound it and set it to the correct time,” I said.

Well, don’t do anything else miraculous today.”

Sure,” I said.

We entered the kitchen and Violet gave me my milk and cookie. I sat by myself and ate it while Violet gossiped with the ladies.

###

Beth,” said a familiar voice. I looked and saw it was Lillie. She was smiling. “I get to see you once more, sweetie. Aunt Mabel tells me you are going away to a school for handicap people.”

I just ate my cookie.

Well let’s go to the bedroom while the boring ladies have their meeting,” she said.

I followed her into the bedroom. I hoped she would read Hunger Games, but she had some sappy book about a vampire high school. I frowned when she started to read it. It was almost worse than Twilight. For one it was like jumping on the bandwagon of vampire books and for another it was bad. At least the writing was better. However, I was bored and saw her open bag with the Hunger Games book on top. I reached for the bag and dumped the contents out accidently. Aside from the book was a purple diaper and a plastic bag, along with a few notebooks and another book in her Vampire series.

Beth, you made a mess,” she said. She started to pick up the stuff from her bag. I reached for the Hunger Games book and held it as I watched her pack her bag. She picked up the plastic bag and started to put it away when I realized that there was a used wet diaper in it. I certainly hadn’t worn that diaper. While she was bending down, her shirt rode up a bit and I saw a thin outline of purple above the waistline of her jeans. Lillie was wearing a diaper. I just had to figure out how to use that to my advantage.

I picked up the Vampire book and put it in the bag and handed her the Hunger Games book.

Lillie sighed, but she opened to the spot that she had left off earlier and read to me until time to go.

###

Beth,” said Sylvia as soon as she saw me at her door. She squeezed me into a hug and I almost wet my thick training pants from the pressure. She released me before I had an accident and then let me go as she saw Jeff and Violet coming up the stairs with some boxes.

Beth, we got a few more boxes in the car,” said Violet. “We’ll get you settled in,” she said.

Well, let me show you your room,” said Sylvia. She led me back down the hallway to a bedroom and opened the door. I peered inside. The room was furnished, but simple. My bed was there from when Sylvia and I were roommates and so was my dresser. She also added a desk and a chair.

Wow, you kept my bed,” I said. I looked at the position of the furniture and smiled at her. “May I please move the bed against the wall?”

Violet started to look embarrassed, but Sylvia smiled. “Of course. You were always weird about that. Let’s move things.” Together we pushed the bed the couple of feet away toward the wall.

Jeff had opened my box and was hanging my clothes in the closet and Violet was stocking my dresser drawers with my other clothes. I just stood there, helpless, because Violet was still treating me like a child. However, since all my clothes were the ones Violet had bought for me, that didn’t take long.

Sylvia smiled and I turned to her. “Do you still have all those Xena episodes you recorded? I remember we had so much fun watching them.”

Sylvia smiled. “Not anymore. I don’t even have a VCR anymore. Got Xena on DVD though. I like that better because the captioning actually works.”

Cool,” I said.

Jeff and Violet came back up the stairs with the remaining two boxes. “Where do you want your supplies?” asked Violet.

I felt my face get warm. “Put them on the floor of my closet.”

Okay, we got to go,” said Jeff. He smiled at me. “Thanks for staying with us.”

Thanks for letting me live with you,” I said.

I waved goodbye as Jeff and Violet left me. Sylvia stood beside me and smiled.

Supplies?” asked Sylvia. “She left you diapers, didn’t she?”

My face burned with embarrassment. “They are just for at night. Soon I won’t need them for that anymore.”

Calm down,” she said. “No one is going to dictate your wardrobe. You can wear what you want. Peter’s not here to make you dress like a stripper and Violet is not here to make you dress like a baby.”

I am a college student and will dress like that again,” I said.

She rubbed my head. “I kind of miss the long hair.”

Me too,” I said, “but it is already starting to grow.

Well, let’s put in a Xena DVD and relax for the rest of the evening.

That sounds, fun,” I said. We took our seats on the couch and I felt like my life was slowly getting back together. I just needed a boyfriend.

Chapter Twenty-ONe: The Date

Sylvia was at work and I had a whole other week until classes started. During the previous days since I had moved in, I was catching up on Xena episodes. Today I was lazy. I slept until eleven and then just got out of bed and sat in front of the TV. I ate cereal for meals and didn’t even change out of last night’s diaper.

I was being disgusting and I knew it, but I wasn’t going anywhere and I was home by myself. I thought I would be dressed before Sylvia got home, but I kind of lost track of time.

Beth, why aren’t you dressed?” She walked up to me and looked down. “Are you still in a wet diaper?”

Um, I woke up wet. I’m not using the diaper during the day.”

Well go change, and don’t wear those toddler panties you wear,” she said. “I’m tired of you sitting around being lazy all day. You need to do something more than sitting around the house. Have you even gotten your books yet?”

I bought the books,” I said. “And why do you care what panties I wear anyway.”

I am tired of you just sitting around here, so I set you up on a blind date. He will be here to pick you up in an hour, so get dressed.”

A blind date? I can’t go on a date.”

It’s too late to cancel. Go.” She pushed me toward the bathroom and I started getting undressed.

The t-shirt came off and so did my diaper. A quick look in the mirror showed me my short hair was matted against one side of my head where I slept on it. I jumped in the shower and cleaned myself. Since there was a date involved, I started shaving, being careful not to knick the backs of my knees. Once presentable I dried off, wrapped my towel around myself, and went to my room.

Sylvia was waiting for me with clothes on my bed. I saw the Victoria’s Secret stuff she had picked out for me and blushed, but put them on and then pulled on the black dress we had gotten at a trip to the mall earlier in the week. Once dressed, she started on my makeup.

It was amazing how different a little makeup makes you look and a quick look in the mirror showed that I looked my old self again.

So tell me about this guy you are setting me up with. He won’t hit me, I hope?”

He’d better not,” she said. “Actually this guy is very gentle. He’s also going to the medical school at the university. Don’t you want to date a doctor?”

Yeah, I’d like that.” A doctor. Well, he obviously wasn’t a doctor yet, but he would be someday. “I’m just not sure a doctor would want to date me.”

Oh, of course a doctor would want to date you. Just make sure you don’t spend the night. You don’t want to pee on him.”

Hey,” I said. “I’m starting to have dry nights. Soon, I will be out of diapers for good.”

Not if you sit around in them until five o’clock in the evening.”

I was being irresponsible, but I won’t do that anymore, I guess.”

The doorbell rang and Sylvia smiled. “He’s here.” We went to the door and when the Sylvia opened it, I smiled.

Hi,” I said and looked at my date. It was Carlos from the medical supply store. The one where Violet bought my diapers and where I pretended to be brain damaged and incontinent. I hoped he wouldn’t recognize me with the makeup.

Beth?” he asked.

You two know each other?” asked Sylvia.

I turned and ran to my room and shut the door. I was humiliated. I lay face down on my bed and cried into my pillow.

###

I don’t know how long I lay there crying, but soon Sylvia opened the door and sat on the edge of my bed. “Don’t cry, Beth,” she said.

I sat up and sat beside her and looked down at my feet. “How could you set me up with him? You said he was a doctor. He really works at the place Violet bought my diapers from. He thinks I took a tumble from the balcony at my sorority and have brain damage and incontinence. I’ve never been so humiliated.”

What about when you pooped yourself at the Tupperware meeting?”

Not helping. Besides it was some women’s charity thing and not Tupperware.”

Well Carlos and I talked a bit after you ran in your room and I told him you didn’t need diapers anymore and that you are starting classes again this semester.”

That’s so much better,” I said with a sarcastic reply. “So how long did it take before he thought I was disgusting and left?”

He’s still in the living room waiting for me to get you.”

I looked at her with surprise. “I am not going on this date,” I said. “He knows about the diapers. I can’t live this down.”

Nonsense,” she said. “Let’s fix your makeup.” She wiped my face with wipes and then began to apply my makeup again.

I kept trying to say I couldn’t possibly date Carlos, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after the whole incontinence thing, but she just smiled again. “He likes you, I think.”

I doubt that,” I said.

Let’s go find out,” she said and dragged me out to the living room again.

I slowly walked out to the living room again.

I think you two have a lot to talk about and you should do it on your date,” said Sylvia.

I looked at Carlos. “Do you really still want to go on this date?” I asked. “I mean the whole point of a blind date is to determine if the other person is undatable or not and you already know that.”

I still want to go out with you tonight,” he said. “Even if the date doesn’t work out, the tickets to the symphony were $36.00 each and I really don’t want to let one ticket go to waste.” He reached down and gently took my hand and led me toward the door.

Have fun,” said Sylvia. “Besides, I want the place to myself until at least midnight.”

I gave her my deer-in-headlights look as I was guided toward Carlos’s car.

Nice Jaguar,” I said.

It’s only a 92,” he said. When I am really a doctor I will have a new one.”

I sat down in the car and stared at my lap. A quick glance in the side view mirror confirmed that my face wasn’t as red as it felt, but the night was still young.

There are so many things I want to ask you,” he said. “Your roommate said you never had brain damage. I saw the nasty mark on your head. I guessed you suffered a severe concussion at the very least. Is that why you are in diapers.”

I sighed. He was going to ask about this and I had to tell him. “I am not in diapers anymore.” I flipped my dress up a bit to prove I was wearing panties, black lacy Victoria’s Secret ones. “The reason I wore the diapers all the time is because of Violet.” I told him my story. By the time I finished, we arrived at the restaurant.

So you’ve been out of diapers at least a month?” he asked.

That sounds about right,” I said.

I let him lead me into the restaurant. We made small talk and he actually asked what I thought about things. It was exciting. I was a bit deprived media-wise, so any TV or movie related trivia since after I moved in with Peter was basically non-existent, but we talked about school and what I wanted to do.

So what do you want to do?” I asked. “I know you said doctor, but are you specializing in anything?”

I really want to be a brain surgeon. I want to heal injuries like you had--I mean like you pretended to have.”

Now I feel awful lying to you,” I said.

It’s fine. Just don’t lie to me again,” he said. “I know you’re still in diapers, at least part time.”

I looked at him shocked. “Did Sylvia tell you I was still bedwetting?” I hissed so my voice wouldn’t carry in the restaurant. “It’s becoming less and less frequent, I swear.”

She didn’t have to tell me. Your babysitter, Lillie, stopped in this morning and bought some more supplies for you. She has been buying them frequent enough that you would have to be wearing them all the time.”

What?” I asked.

Lillie stopped in this morning and said Violet was busy and she sent her to the store to get some supplies for you.”

But Lillie just watched me that one weekend when you stopped her from lifting my skirt. Are you saying she bought me more supplies? Violet left me with enough to wear one every night for the next three months. Why would Lillie be buying them?” So many things clicked into place. Lillie had been wearing diapers all the time since that weekend. The diapers she kept in her backpack, the time spent alone in her room, even the times she put them on from time to time. However she wasn’t wearing them every time, so that must mean that she doesn’t really need them. She’d been using my situation to cover for her own diaper buys.

Yeah,” he said, “she even dragged a boyfriend with her. He just seemed embarrassed and just complained that she was spending all her time before college started babysitting ‘that retarded woman’ instead of hanging out with him.”

I frowned. “I wasn’t playing the part of a retarded person.”

I know,” he said. “Why else would she buy diapers if not for you?”

I think she is wearing them herself,” I said. “That woman embarrassed me all over the place. She thought I was handicapped so I had to play along when she changed me in front of her boyfriend and outed me to the staff at Hot Topic. Violet was discreet and we only played up the handicapped angle when it was impossible to hide the fact that I wore diapers. I’d like to give her an embarrassing moment. Just tell her you know they are for her when she comes to buy them, preferably when her boyfriend is along.”

We try not to embarrass people buying incontinent products at the store,” said Carlos. “I can’t just accuse her of buying them for herself.

Sorry for getting you in the middle of this. I don’t suppose it is possible to forget all about the diapers and pretend all this stuff never happened. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you and it killed me that we met as I was being sized for incontinent products.”

He smiled at me. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Speaking of confessions, I thought you were beautiful when you walked in that day. It killed me when your aunt led me to believe you had the problems we thought you did.”

Thanks,” I said. “I wish you would have seen me when I had hair. There was really real head injury that required stitches, so they shaved my head.” I gave a pouty frown.

He smiled and reached across the table and brushed my hair with a hand. “It’s starting to grow back.”

I hope so,” I said.

So what are you studying in college this year?”

Electrical engineering,” I said. “I know, it’s pretty nerdy.” I smiled. “I almost would rather take history or English. I managed to get a creative writing course in this semester as an elective.”

Nice. Do you like to write?”

Well, when I was living as Violet’s baby, I could only do one adult thing and that was read novels. Her husband Jeff had a large collection of science fiction books and I grabbed onto those and read during every spare moment. I’ve read enough of them that I think I may be able to do better.” I smiled again. “I have taken physics classes, for example.”

I actually have only read medical books the last couple of years.” He smiled.

We finished dinner and then drove to the concert hall. After the awkward diaper conversation in the restaurant, the date began to be a normal date. Well, not quite normal. It was still a first date, so I wasn’t yet called stupid or ugly, and I wasn’t hit when I made a mistake. Carlos was pretty gentle actually and so my expectations were based on my experiences with Peter.

I had never been to a symphony before. Peter just listened to classic rock and nothing else was ever allowed on the radio. I used to listen to what I wanted when he wasn’t home, but stopped after forgetting to change the station back one day. There was actually live music and they played classical music. The music started to play and I let him put his arm around me while we listened to the orchestra.

After, we left in his car and I smiled. “You know Sylvia is going to want to know everything,” I said.

Well, I’ll never kiss and tell,” he said.

I don’t care about the telling,” I said. “Let’s work on the kissing.” I reached for him, but he guided me back in my seat.

Let’s kiss at my place.”

###

My head lay against Carlos’s chest as we lay in bed together. I really felt relaxed even though our love making was quite a workout.

Let’s get some rest,” he said and reached toward the lamp. “Tomorrow I will make you breakfast in bed.”

I froze and then when I had my senses back I grabbed the arm he was reaching for the lamp with. “Um, Carlos, I need to get back home. Sylvia will be worried.”

Just call Sylvia and tell her you are spending the night,” he suggested.

Carlos, I--,” I started. “I wet the bed and need a diaper,” I whispered.

You said you didn’t do it every night anymore,” he said.

I don’t know ahead of time if tonight is one of the nights I wet,” I said. “I don’t want to pee on my new boyfriend.”

Did you just call me your boyfriend?” He kissed me which caused us to make out until we were both worn out again.

I sat up and then got out of bed and started to pull on my clothes again. “So will you take me home?”

He took me by the waist and smiled. “Yes,” he said and gave me a kiss.

###

It’s funny how a relationship blossomed from one blind date when I thought we’d never be together. However, I don’t think Carlos would have given me a second date if we hadn’t met during our unusual circumstances.

College is the time to grow in your life and try new things. However like anything, an education needs to be complete. I wonder how my life would have been different if I wouldn’t have dropped out of college to be with Peter. The whole relationship with him was a mistake, but if I could change it I don’t think I would. If I never learned the lessons from Peter, I would have graduated much earlier and never been around to meet Carlos. I wouldn’t change that for the world.

The diapers? Maybe I wouldn’t give that up either. Sometimes Carlos wants to relive how we first met, only it is he and not Violet that changes me. Besides, even though I promised that the bedwetting would go away, it still happens a couple times a week. At least he doesn’t mind that I have to put on a diaper after we make love.

And the fact that Carlos and I are dating at all is a miracle that Sylvia keeps congratulating herself for. Maybe she is right. I may not have trusted men enough to date again after Peter, if she wouldn’t have set up the blind date and I never would have approached Carlos on my own since I knew he knew about my time as a surrogate baby for Violet. The real miracle was that all things worked out in the end.

Afterward: A Customer at My College Job

I stacked large cases of adult diapers on the shelves at the medical supply store and smiled. There really were a lot of styles and I was mainly a stocker since the position opened up when Carlos couldn’t put as much time in at the store due to his increased studies. The job gave me an income and I didn’t have to rely on Violet and Jeff as much for college money.

I really enjoyed the work and no one really said anything about me being a customer there for a while. Carlos and the owner were the only ones who really knew about it, so the secret was safe.

However, I was working on Saturday and Carlos was there too, working the counter. Since he was almost a doctor he could answer questions better and he actually knew what all of the products were for. I heard him thank a customer he rang up and then I heard a familiar voice as he dealt with the next customer.

Hi, Carlos. I was sent down here to get some more adult diapers. They’re for Beth.”

I peeked around the corner. It was Lillie and her boyfriend. Why he consented to being dragged here was beyond me. However, he was here.

Oh, hi Lillie,” said Carlos. “Will it be the Molicares again? And how is she doing?”

She says a word now and then, but it really isn’t contextual. Violet thought the talking would mean she is ready for potty training, but that didn’t really work. Hence, the reason I am here.”

You spend too much time babysitting that retard,” her boyfriend said.

Well, I’ll have our new stocker get your order for you,” said Carlos. He called in my direction. “Elizabeth, will you get a case of medium Molicares for a customer?”

I should mention that I decided to go by Elizabeth since starting college. Beth is too much of a baby name. I don’t really let anyone call me that anymore, except when Carlos and I play in the bedroom, and that is just in certain babyish scenarios. “Sure thing, boss,” I said and grabbed a case of the purple adult diapers that Lillie fell in love with. I came out and set the case on the counter.

Her boyfriend stared at me and then recognition suddenly registered in his eyes. “Hey, aren’t you Beth?” he asked.

It’s Elizabeth, but last time I saw you, I wasn’t talking. I’m better now.”

But why are you still...,” he trailed of and looked at Lillie. “Where are you going when you pack a bag and go home to babysit every weekend?” Realization dawned on him and then he got a look of disgust on his face.

Brian?”

I’ll take you home,” he said, “but then we are through.” He looked at her again. “Eww, just eww.”

After they left, Carlos smiled at me. “I’ll never leave you,” he said.

The End.

 

 

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