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Interesting Topic About Diapers And Balancing Life


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Many of you who have read some of my posts in the past know I am one who believes in a good healthy balance between AB/DL lifestyle fetish and regular normal life.  I've always separated the two and while I can do regular things in diapers, I usually keep diapers a separate thing.  To each his own and I'm in no way trying to change how a person lives their life, it's just that these are my own thoughts.  I know some have gone so far as to live their lives totally as a baby or toddler, no job, sitting all day playing with toys, eating baby food and waiting for their mommy or daddy to change their diapers.  To me that is missing out on a lot of cool things, but if that's how they want to live, OK by me.  It takes a bit to get to that point.  I've read in the forums here how some people stop going out with their friends to movies, concerts or doing things they used to do because they have got to the point they would rather stay home and wear diapers or play baby.  In my opinion that is when the fetish has taken control of your life instead of you controlling it and maintaining that healthy balance between diapers and the fetish and regular normal life.  Again, to each his own and these are just my feelings on the AB/DL fetish

Surfing the internet I came across this website and it seems startling like my own thoughts on the subject.  I thought it might be interesting to pass it along.  Probably more for those who might be on the edge and wondering if they might be losing control of the fetish themselves, but still interesting.

https://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-You've-Become-Addicted-to-Wearing-Diapers-(As-an-Adult

I will also add that this same link has excellent advice on how to cope with being a diaper lover and how to accept yourself for wearing diapers and feel proud of it and not shame or guilt.  Also interesting sections on how to put on and change adult diapers.  Well worth looking at!

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At first when I saw the title Diapers and Balance I pondered what the heck does that mean if say you double up the diapers and the

rear end is loaded you fall flat on your butt or if front loaded maybe stumble forward while waddling along.

Reading further the Balance is an encounter of another kind and has nothing to do with physical equilibrium but the mental type.

So don't bother pulling the curtain aside on this wizard - follow you own yellow brick road and the path to self-being !

Be careful of what you read into things without reading. Imagine wearing heavy rear loaded diapers and falling flat on your butt ! LOL !

On a more serious note rusty pins scores again on the diaper development front.

Interesting LINK - Thank you !

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This article brings up some great points, including the isolation aspect of wearing diapers.  I like that it addresses the idea of wearing diapers at home to satisfy the emotional need, but wearing pull ups out of the house/work to satisfy the need, but also to help with the financial aspect (Using pull ups so you can use the toilet when out, avoiding leaks/smell if you are not 24/7)

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I really don't like people so rather stay home and relax in diaper. I don't have many friends anymore and I'm cool with that. I'm an old man before I'm really an old man. Diapers won't stop me from doing anything but I choose to personally not hang out and make plans.

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I've got a friend I met here on DD who needs to see this! I'm gonna send it to him. Thanks, rusty pins. :)

Also I can't wait fir this article to pop up on a "guess the wikihow" game. Now that's a react video I would watch! :D

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I wear diapers permanently and I do not isolate myself at all. Yes, there is some planning involved at times. For example I took my wife and son to an aquarium this past weekend and I had to carry a backpack with spare diapers and changing supplies. My son did not find it out of the ordinary or ask why Daddy was carrying a backpack. My wife and I work together as a team to keep my diapers hidden. We went into Barnes and Nobles and she took care of him while I went in the potty and changed my diaper. Wearing diapers all the time is all about confidence and a positive attitude. If you walk around acting like your hand was caught in the cookie jar then you're going to draw attention to yourself. I just act completely normal and everyone seems too busy with their own lives to even notice that I may or may not have a thick diaper bulge. I need to be in diapers. I want to be in diapers. Yet they do not control my life despite being in one always.

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I do have to say they bring up some very interesting points and arguments and indeed it is all about balancing. But more so I do agree with MarkSmith on this one as I wear 24/7 myself for the last 19 or 20 years, it can be done without any down sides. This said, I am 100% DL and have no desires towards the AB lifestyle so far. I can imagine if your desire is to go 24/7 as an AB it will cause to much interference with your daily life and that will most definitely cause problems.  

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Back when I joined this site and a few years afterwards, I would do the whole binge and purge routine. After having gone away from diapers for a while, something would spark, and then like frenzied lunatic do everything I could to acquire diapers, and make plans to commit to wearing them 24/7. Only to rinse and repeat the stated above. After a while of not wearing or really having an interest in diapers, I managed to mature some. When the urge eventually struck up (as it always would) I just decided to roll with it with ease and just simply address my “need” to wear a diaper and use it. This has allowed me to not frenzy around diapers, and I was now able to control my diaper wearing, and it not control me. I have a stash of diapers that I use intermittently as I feel I need to, and haven’t purged any of my stuff in a few years now. I will say, that it does help having my own place with relative privacy. I hope my ramblings make sense lol.

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i don't ever remember having the classic binge-and-purge routine with my diapers. i would have strong urges to wear from time to time, but i never tossed everything out in a fit of depression or whatever or gone on a spending spree for my diapers. i always had a pack on hand, i would go through it, get another pack, and repeat. i would often go for long periods of time of not wearing, but i'd get through and enjoy when i could again. there was a time i only had less than three on hand for about a year and some because of living arrangements, but now diapers are plentiful in my house!

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Best advice i ever had on the subject was from a therapist I was seeing briefly. We didn't talk about diapers much, but it did come up and she said something to the effect of how being a DL is a part of me, but it's just a part and that there is so much more than just that. 

I knew she was right, because even though I wear pretty much 24/7, I have so much else going on in my life, good things like a wife, friends, a career, my sports team, gardening, house projects etc etc. Her point was that I had balance, and that my DL 'thing' was just a small part of who I am. So long as that remains the case, I refuse to worry about it.

I do agree that folks who have nothing else going on in their lives besides diapers really need to take stock, speak with a therapist, and figure out why that is. And I would be willing to bet that the diapers are not the cause...

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Things I see wrong with this article:

 

Monitor whether your thoughts are consumed by wearing diapers. You may find yourself continuously thinking about diapers and wearing diapers. If you think about diapers and diaper wearing constantly in a way that interferes with daily living, it may signal a problem. Persistent thoughts about obtaining a certain thing can be a marker of addiction.[1]

  • You may struggle to get things done because you are thinking about diapers. Has your work productivity declined, or are you finding it harder to get things done around the house?
  • You may find your thoughts getting off track due to thinking about diapers or diaper wearing.

How he heck do diapers cause this? When you accept it and just wear them, they are off your mind. Now it should take care of this problem. 

 

Ask yourself if your diaper wearing interferes with daily living. If you struggle to engage in normal, functional behavior (such as getting up, going to work, buying groceries, and cleaning) because of your diaper wearing, this also may be a problem.

  • Interfering behaviors can be emotionally painful, and it’s important to regain control of behaviors before they spiral out of control.[2]

Again, how do diapers cause this? How do they stop you? You just wear them like you would with underwear. 

 

Note if diapers interfere with relationships. If you’ve had difficulty relating to people due to your diaper usage, this may be a problem. You may struggle with family or your partner because of diaper use, yet still use diapers despite the problems they cause in your social life. When habits or lifestyles interfere with social functioning, yet you still continue to engage despite the problems they cause, it can indicate an addiction.[3]

  • Reflect whether you’ve experienced relationship decline since using diapers regularly. Think about whether your relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and partner have suffered.
  • Declining relationships may be limited or no contact, more tension, or difficulty relating.

Again, this is a family problem and a society problem and a person problem. Not the problem of the diaper wearer. If people were more tolerant of ABDL, this would not be a problem. 

 

Monitor your behaviors. If you’ve noticed that your behaviors have changed since starting to wear diapers, reflect on their impact on your life. If you’ve noticed that you cannot go without diapers, spend a lot of time in diaper-related activities that detract from daily functioning, and have limited interests due to your diaper fascination, this can be behavioral markers of addiction.[4]

 

Just wear them and problem solved. They only stop you if you are still ashamed of it and haven't fully accepted it. 

 

Should they make you feel sad, socially isolated or depressed, consider changing your use. If you’ve developed a dysfunctional emotional response to diaper wearing, this may mark a degree of addiction. 

 

This just stems from lack of acceptance of self for liking them. They go through shame knowing this is not normal which is why the binge and purge cycle is common in ABDLs. This is not the diapers, it's the person having a hard time dealing with their like of diapers. 

 

 

Be honest if you isolate yourself by wearing diapers. Wearing diapers at home may create a sense of safety in the home, and a feeling of fear if you leave the home. If you tend to shy away from leaving the house because you are wearing diapers, consider only wearing them in the privacy of your own home.

 

I will agree this is sort of a issue here. Either get over the fear of wearing them out of your home or consider doing it when the time is right. 

 

Reach out for help. If you struggle with your relationship to diapers or want to change your diaper habits, talking to a therapist can be helpful. A therapist can help you understand a work through the emotions associated with wearing a diaper.

 

There is no cure to ABDL, I still have yet to hear about someone truly getting over it. I mean they have no desires, they don't suppress it, they have lost total interest and never go back to it ever. Seeing a therapist to convert into a vanilla is a waste of your time and the therapist's and the money. Instead they can only help you deal with your like of diapers and learn to accept it. Then you will notice how much happier you feel and realize how normal it feels to wear a diaper and you are functioning much better. People will just assume you have a medical issue if they find out and people don't say anything about your diapers. They don't care and you will find how no one says anything about your butt or the bulge. You just stop caring about the sound and the bulge and find no one is paying attention. You even stop thinking about if your shirt rides up and a piece of diaper shows. You will even pee in them in public and not give it a second thought. It just becomes normal. You might feel an urge to pee and then feel it's no longer there and notice the warmth in your crotch or the front. You just carry on. 

 

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Yes, I agree, just don't worry about it.  I'm not a fan of "15 questions to determine whether or not you are a sociopath" kinds of sites...I am even less impressed with "15 ways to know whether your partner/friend etc is a sociopath."

Everybody's got an opinion.  I choose to not sweat it.  Interesting link, but I have a feeling the author is in conflict with themself. If diapers get in the way, it happens differently for every person, and what counts as "isolation" is different for each person.  

Just enjoy life, it's fun!

 

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No, he's just not a hopeless addict and can lay off the things for awhile

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What's wrong with wearing 24/7? The article just comes off to me as if you wear them all the time, it's bad. Some ABDLs do think you have let it take over or that it's unhealthy if you wear them all the time. 

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2 hours ago, Spokane Girl said:

What's wrong with wearing 24/7? The article just comes off to me as if you wear them all the time, it's bad. Some ABDLs do think you have let it take over or that it's unhealthy if you wear them all the time. 

Completely agree with you here.  In fact I can even say that wearing diapers 24/7 has honestly improved my life and realtionship with my family.  

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Honestly, as I think back on it now diapers controlled my life more when I was not wearing one all the time.  When I was not in one I constantly desired to be.  I would find myself very irratiable and defensive.  I felt let down.  All I would talk about was wanting to wear diapers permanently with my wife and she got tired of hearing about diaper this and unpotty train that.

Now that I wear them permanently I am much happier and relaxed.  My wife has been so much more receptive and accepting to diapers.  I think in a way for her it is simplier.  Before, one day I would be wearing diapers and the next day I would not.  It was a constant back and forth and up and down struggle.  As a woman she does not find me sexually attractive when diapered.  When I constantly wore them and then took them off it would often times lead to her feeling confused.  Am I with a man today or a sissy baby in diapers.  Now she knows the answer.  It simplifies things.  

Also, communication about diapers between my wife and I is so much better now. Before the talk of diapers was almost taboo and would lead to fights often. Now that I am in them always we work together as a team to help keep my diapers discreet and hidden from our children.

Being in diapers all the time has also giving my wife a lot of power in our relationship. It has given her a lot of control and she has found that this makes her very happy. In the past diapers seemed to be something she despised but now she's completely accepting.  She even takes advantage of me being in them sometimes.

Wearing diapers permanently in my life has been nothing but a wonderful thing.

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If you all look at that thread, you will find links to other diaper wearing threads as well.  This one is for people who need to balance their diaper wearing, those who may be too obsessed over it and find that they are always fixating on their diapers.  The difference between them and those here who say they just go about their daily business wearing their diapers 24/7, is they are going about their daily business normally without any problems or disruption in their regular life. 

Monitor whether your thoughts are consumed by wearing diapers. You may find yourself continuously thinking about diapers and wearing diapers. If you think about diapers and diaper wearing constantly in a way that interferes with daily living, it may signal a problem.  How he heck do diapers cause this? When you accept it and just wear them, they are off your mind. Now it should take care of this problem.  You may have missed this point.  For many they are off their mind when they just wear them.  This point is for those who can't get them off their mind and continue to think bout them constantly to the point it interferes with their daily living. 

Ask yourself if your diaper wearing interferes with daily living. If you struggle to engage in normal, functional behavior (such as getting up, going to work, buying groceries, and cleaning) because of your diaper wearing, this also may be a problem.  Again, how do diapers cause this? How do they stop you? You just wear them like you would with underwear.  Because even though people would wear them like regular underwear, they are not mentally thinking of them as just regular underwear.  Instead they are fixated on them being diapers and it's that fixation and obsession on their diaper that can cause them problems in engaging or concentrating on normal day to day things.  Many of us don't have that problem as diapers are just normal underwear to many of us, but there are some who don't see it that way.  Take a different scenario.  Most people like looking at others of the opposite sex but that's it.  A serial rapist can't stop fixating or obsessing about women and jut has to have sex and rape them.  Look at people (or creeps) like Larry Nassar.  He abused 150 women as a sports doctor at Michigan State.  That is not usual behavior, it's an abnormailty that cost him 175 years in jail.  Some people just fixate on things in a very unhealthy way and need help coping with it.  that's why there are psycologists and Psychiatrists.  Many here love wearing diapers and for some it may be sexual and occasional, others are 24/7 as just normal diaper wearers.  Like a serial rapist, some may have such an obsession with diapers it affects their thinking and normal lives.  We don't know why diapers may cause this in some people which is the purpose of this thread in trying to help these particular people.

Monitor your behaviors. If you’ve noticed that your behaviors have changed since starting to wear diapers, reflect on their impact on your life. If you’ve noticed that you cannot go without diapers, spend a lot of time in diaper-related activities that detract from daily functioning, and have limited interests due to your diaper fascination, this can be behavioral markers of addiction.  Just wear them and problem solved. They only stop you if you are still ashamed of it and haven't fully accepted it.  Again, just wear them and problem solved is perfect, but that isn't the case here.  The important part of the advise here is the part that states, that detract from daily functioning, and have limited interests due to your diaper fascination.  It's fine if you can function normally when wearing diapers weather once in a while or if you wear them 24/7/365 and many of us do, but there are some who can't.  The whole point of this is not about wearing diapers 24/7 and functioning normally, it's anyone who wears diapers but can't function normally because they are always fixation and obsessing about diapers.  The point is, they don't just go about their normal day doing normal things like the rest of us.  They are so obsessed with diapers that they can't function like normal and it affects their work and other parts of their lives.  Like I have said for years, when you are so obsessed with diapers that you stop going out with friends or associating with others, call in sick to work or stop going to dinner or movies with your wife or friends because you would rather stay home and play in diapers, then the fetish has taken over your life.  This is not talking about someone who has accepted wearing diapers as their normal life style and goes about their business normally.  That isn't the point here.  It's about those who have such a obsession with diapers that they can't function as normally as they used to because they are always thinking of diapers.

As I have said, this is just one part of the WikiHow thread I posted originally.  This is another one from the same site and linked to the one I originally posted.  https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover  It's very positive about accepting yourself as a diaper lover and how there is nothing wrong with it at all.  Very supportive about it.  The big difference between the two is the second one is very supportive about being a Diaper Lover and the first one deals more with those who have such an obsession with diapers that they can't function normally.  The first one is to help those try and work out a balance so they don't obsess and fixate about diapers to the point it affects their daily lives in a detrimental way, the second one is to reinforce that being a diaper lover is perfectly fine!  This third link, https://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Diaper-Lovers is for non diaper lovers and other people to understand about diaper lovers and what makes them do what they do.  It's also linked to the other thread on their site and very helpful for those who may not be diaper lovers but know someone who is.  I hope everyone here will take time to read the second and third links I just posted as they are so positive on diaper lovers and have great advice on how to deal with guilt feelings, accepting yourself as a diaper lover and more.  Please, no one take offence at my cut and paste above based on your own posts, it's just me pointing out the differences between someone who has accepted wearing diapers and can go on about their daily business normally as opposed to someone who is so obsessed with diapers it controls their thoughts and live in a way that causes them problems functioning normally in their daily life.  These WikiHow threads are designed to help people with different problems.  One may be helping someone who obsesses too much about diapers, one may help people better accept themselves as diaper lovers and another may help friends or relatives of diaper lovers better uderstand why they do what they do.  It's all about help and understanding with different situations.

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Rusty Pins,

While I often find your walls of text to be a bit out there at times, I'm somewhat with you on this. 

The issue you are raising, people having social and or mental issues related to diapers is real. I'm not at all convinced diapers are the real cause per say... I think the cause is more mental health. Obsession, addiction, self estime issues, OCD, and other more severe diagnoses do seem to be common amoung the folks I have seen on this forum over the years. There are also plenty of people who don't have mental health issues who wear diapers some times, or full time and lead perfectly normal lives. Are the diapers causing the problem, or is the problem there regardless is a bit of a chicken and egg debate of course.

I do applaud anyone who is trying to help those with mental health issues. It's a very challenging task! And while a wiki article, or frankly anything online, isn't going to hurt... it's not going to fix it either. That's what mental health professionals are for. 

I'd encourage everyone to avoid turning this into a debate about if wearing diapers is a problem, or causes problems, or if you can wear 24/7 to solve the problem as I don't think that was really the point. The point is that some people DO have problems and they should be aware of it and consider seeking help as needed.

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Well said Mr. Sea Otter!  Yes, some people have problems and diapers may just be an outlet, or they may be the cause of the problems, or there can be underlying root problems.  Those who are bad off need counseling by a professional.  The point, and only point of the first WikiHow link is to try and give insite and help to those who may feel that diapers are controlling their lives and are obsessing so much about them that it's affecting their work, relationships and lives.  Period!  Not judging them for liking or wearing diapers, just helping so they have better balance and not obsess to the point of it being a distraction in their lives.

The second one is great to reinforce those diaper lovers who may have guilt feelings about wearing diapers and using them for their intended purpose.  I think all of us at one time have felt the guilt and disgust within ourselves when wearing diapers for fun.  Most of us have over come those guilt feelings over time, but why?  Because we have learned through others on sites like this that we are not alone and there is nothing wrong with what we do.  The second WikiHow link is doing just that!  Showing those who may be new at being a DL that there is nothing wrong with it and helping them to accept their feelings.

It's not about weather wearing diapers is right or wrong, it's all about helping people who have feelings one way or another about it.

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I know for me my love for diapers started with humiliation as a child.  My step mom would use the threat of them as a humiliation tactic and eventually for whatever reason I began to desire them.  My wife often tells me that she pays for my stepmother's sins.  They did control my life and they did affect my marriage until I chose to wear them all the time.  Everyone of us on this forum are so different with the exception of one thing, we have a fascination for diapers.  I do now agree that this article was tailored to those individuals that have issues with diapers controlling their lives.  Maybe I will write an article one day of why you SHOULD wear diapers all the time.

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  • 1 month later...

Hello rusty pins,

First of all, I'd like to thank you whole-heartedly for your dedication to the ABDL community's psychological comfort, and especially for your Wikihow pages which are very helpful. You're an angel in our community.

I'm a 54 year old single Frenchman teaching English as a Foreign language in a junior high-school in France. I've been an ABDL since I was a teen, and now, I have decided to go wearing 24/7, partly for safety reasons because the anti-hypertensive medicine that I have to take gives me frequent urges to pee, and partly for the pleasure and reassuring comfort of it.
I must say that these urges to pee are partly caused by my personal reverse-kegel training which I often do to help me become a bedwetter. Then, since my prostate operation 3 years ago, the dribbling after peeing has worsened, and the 20 minutes after peeing in the toilet have become critical.

So, my life-spoiling FEELING OF GUILT WHEN TEACHING MY KIDS IN A DIAPER is a complex thing to deal with, because I'm not really fully incontinent and with an effort I could make it without wearing a diaper in class, especially if I stopped my reverse-kegel trainings.
If I were really incontinent there would be the "You have no option but wear a diaper" notion that would help me greatly.
But while teaching, THE PLEASURE OF THE WARM PEE RUNNING IN MY DIAPER (although I'm merely noticing that pleasure and not dwelling on it) makes me FEEL SHAME AND GUILT. 
Am I not BETRAYING MY STUDENTS' TRUST in me ? JUST HOW GROSS would my students find me if they knew about it ? And by the way, just how suspicious is the UNUSUAL SHAPE OF MY TROUSERS BOTTOM, with the material making DUBIOUS FOLDS on my backsides because of the diaper and liner beneath ?
My students know that I'm having chronic health issues as the previous anti-hypertensive that I took made me so sick that my doctor had to give me a medical leave. WOULD THEY ACCEPT MY HAVING TO WEAR DIAPERS BECAUSE OF MEDICAL REASONS (although it isn't quite true) or would they still think it's gross and I shoudn't be teaching at all ?...

I love my job and I have a huge respect for my students. Until recently, I always kept my ABDL life and my teaching life quite separate, and I just wonder if I can keep doing so mentally while wearing diapers to school.

I would be very happy if you could give me advice about what to do in my situation.
But it is clear that if I want to become a bedwetter, I must first lose day-time continence.
Should I just give up the idea of becoming a bed-wetter ? 

Thank you very much again.

Chris
 

NB: I've been using capital letters to help the reader locate the different topics in that long message, for easier reading. No aggressiveness is meant at all, contrary to what the studid code of "Netiquette" used to rule. Capital letters are just an ideal way of providing the reader with comfortable landmarks, instead of being confronted with a discouraging sea of lower case characters.

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Balancing the ABDL needs and real life is quite a challenge and some of the comments have been good while others, not so much. The biggest mistake is to use your own personal experience and extrapolate that to some kind of hard and fast rule. The wearing of diapers 24/7 is the perfect example. Simply doing so to feed a desire is foolish. But so many people - and it is indeed a LOT - have discussed how going 24/7 has brought them relief and ironically, BALANCE. They have been able to take back their lives again.

Finding balance is complex and no one solution suits everyone because every ABDL is different. Most importantly, the LEVEL/INTENSITY OF NEED varies considerably and what works for someone whose ABDL desires are irregular and occasional is hopelessly inadequate for someone who lives with a 24/7/365 deep need and desire that needs to be managed.

We have written on this topic before and it remains a complex issue for which simple rules are grossly inadequate and often, insulting.

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The black comedy in some of those Wikihow articles is truly sublime.  I'm feeling inspired to write some myself.

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