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913 Day Unpotty Training Update


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2 hours ago, Stroller said:

Whew, that's a relief.  I think a lot of us were worried for a while there.  I feel very secure in my relationship with my wife/Mummy too.  In all probability she'll never change my nappy, but she does a lot for me now, and it's getting better all the time.  I'd hate to worry that anything would threaten our relationship.  That was why I was so worried when I took the decision to "come out" to her fully, & wear when she was around.  I needn't have been so worried.  Without your example. Mark, I'd have been a lot more hesitant.  Good luck in the future!

When I post on this forum I am very real.  I share with everyone the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I am very honest about both my need to be a sissy and my need to be diapered permanently. 

There was no compromise when it came to my decision to become a full time sissy little girl in diapers.  Many people see this as selfish or unfair to my wife.  I understand their thought process.  However, by making that choice my marriage and relationship actually benefited incredibly because I was so much happier and at ease.

At this point the facts are I need diapers physically just as much as I need them mentally.  I am confident that I have unpotty trained myself enough now that if I was not wearing a diaper my pants would get wet at some point.  That means diapers are here to stay forever.

As far as my wife's acceptance and my desire to be a sissy I suppose those feelings could always change.  When we first started dating I certainly did not desire to be diapered all the time or had any desire to be a sissy.  I changed.  I think when I analyze my relationship I think it is realistic to be prepared if my wife suddenly decides she cannot handle all the dirty diapers anymore or the dynamics of being married to husband who is a sissy baby girl in the bedroom is to much for her to handle.

The lesson learned here was I needed to stop and talk to her about us instead of just assuming since she is no longer having anything to do with my diapers she must have stopped accepting me wearing them.

Do I wish my wife had the same committment as I do to my desire of  being a full time sissy babygirl in diapers?  Of course I do.  I know she will never be able to be that way.  It is who she is.  Is there someone out there that would be more of a "Mommy"...sure there is.  However, that person is not my soulmate.  I do not have children with them and I do not love them with all my heart.  Just as she had to accept me diapered permanently I have to accept she will never be the Mommy of my dreams.  I am okay with this.  I am blessed for the acceptance and unconditional love she provides dirty diapers and all.

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21 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

When I post on this forum I am very real.  I share with everyone the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I am very honest about both my need to be a sissy and my need to be diapered permanently. 

There was no compromise when it came to my decision to become a full time sissy little girl in diapers.  Many people see this as selfish or unfair to my wife.  I understand their thought process.  However, by making that choice my marriage and relationship actually benefited incredibly because I was so much happier and at ease.

At this point the facts are I need diapers physically just as much as I need them mentally.  I am confident that I have unpotty trained myself enough now that if I was not wearing a diaper my pants would get wet at some point.  That means diapers are here to stay forever.

As far as my wife's acceptance and my desire to be a sissy I suppose those feelings could always change.  When we first started dating I certainly did not desire to be diapered all the time or had any desire to be a sissy.  I changed.  I think when I analyze my relationship I think it is realistic to be prepared if my wife suddenly decides she cannot handle all the dirty diapers anymore or the dynamics of being married to husband who is a sissy baby girl in the bedroom is to much for her to handle.

The lesson learned here was I needed to stop and talk to her about us instead of just assuming since she is no longer having anything to do with my diapers she must have stopped accepting me wearing them.

Do I wish my wife had the same committment as I do to my desire of  being a full time sissy babygirl in diapers?  Of course I do.  I know she will never be able to be that way.  It is who she is.  Is there someone out there that would be more of a "Mommy"...sure there is.  However, that person is not my soulmate.  I do not have children with them and I do not love them with all my heart.  Just as she had to accept me diapered permanently I have to accept she will never be the Mommy of my dreams.  I am okay with this.  I am blessed for the acceptance and unconditional love she provides dirty diapers and all.

Mark you should be congratulated on your honesty

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Yesterday I did something that I have never done before while wearing diapers.  I had a friend that was getting promoted in the military and he asked me to attend his ceremony.  I bought a suit for the event which I got tailored while wearing a moderately used Rearz Inspire + Incontrol diaper.  Despite that I clearly noticed what I thought was an obvious massive bulge in my suit pants nothing was ever said by the tailor when she was fitting me.

When I went to put the suit on for the ceremony I initially decided that I would wear two pairs of Always Discreet panties instead of a thick overnight brief.  I pulled my suit pants up and almost instantly I felt I NEEDED to be wearing a thick diaper instead.  The need was not so much physical, although I did worry that the pull up I was wearing would leak but mentally I felt as if I was completely naked without the feeling of thick padding between my legs.  Within minutes my suit pants were being pulled down, the Always Dicreet panties ripped off and a Rearz Inspire + Incontrol overnight diaper taped snuggly in place.  That felt so much better. 

Over top of my diaper I was wearing my normal layers of protection to include a pair of Gary Activewear briefs and Abena fixing panties.  I pulled up my suit pants and looked at myself in a full length mirror and since I knew I was heavily diapered the bulge seemed noticeable.  I decided despite the bulge that would only grow as I used my diaper was this is what I wanted when I started on this journey.  I wanted to be unpotty trained and I needed to wear diapers all the time.  I decided I needed to be confident and not embarrassed by the bulge between my legs and if someone decided they where going to stare at my diaper area then I would smile back because I am happy.

The ceremony came and went.  I spent a lot of the day not even wearing my suit jacket.  I saw friends I had not seen in years.  I saw hundreds of military members and as I had suspected no one seemed to have time to care about the bulge in my suit pants.

Today I plan to tell this friend that I am incontinent.  He is the only one close to me that does not know mainly because I was his senior in the military and he has always looked up to me so much.  I am not sure if I will get into the full details of my diaper needs.  Do I want to be honest and tell him because I was abused as a child I now desire to be a sissy and wear pink diapers?  Of course I do.  As you all know here that is who I am.  I know it has been stressful staying at his house.  It seems like every time I am changing my diaper there is a knock on the door from him or his wife.  At least once he knows I need to be in diapers he will understand I need my time and space while visiting to take care of my diapering needs.  As I write this inside my backpack is a large trash bag and it is filled with five used diapers because I have been unable to find the appropriate time to dispose of them.

This post defines the reality of wearing diapers permanently.  No fantasy. No fetish.  Just the facts of everyday life while padded.

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It felt good sharing with my best friend that I wear diapers today.  He was not judgemental in any way and I was able to share much more than simply explaining I am incontinent.  He was all about what makes me happy and comfortable.  It still is never an easy talk to have particularly when someone looks up to you but it really bothered me that he was the only one in my inner circle that did not know.  

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7 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

It felt good sharing with my best friend that I wear diapers today.  He was not judgemental in any way and I was able to share much more than simply explaining I am incontinent.  He was all about what makes me happy and comfortable.  It still is never an easy talk to have particularly when someone looks up to you but it really bothered me that he was the only one in my inner circle that did not know.  

I've been meaning to do this for a year or two.  My best friend confided in Mummy and me a while back when he was having trouble in his first marriage and we gave him a load of support.  His sexuality is a bit complicated, and I think he's always struggled about whether he's gay or straight, male or female.  Anyway he's married again (to a woman) and seems to be a lot happier now.  I've never told him I'm an AB though, and I think I owe it to him to tell him.  Just need to wait for the right opportunity: I don't see him often as he lives a fair distance away and he's still working.

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1 hour ago, Stroller said:

I've been meaning to do this for a year or two.  My best friend confided in Mummy and me a while back when he was having trouble in his first marriage and we gave him a load of support.  His sexuality is a bit complicated, and I think he's always struggled about whether he's gay or straight, male or female.  Anyway he's married again (to a woman) and seems to be a lot happier now.  I've never told him I'm an AB though, and I think I owe it to him to tell him.  Just need to wait for the right opportunity: I don't see him often as he lives a fair distance away and he's still working.

The right time is everything.  The reason I shared my ABDL side with him now was because he opened confides in me with some very personal feelings in regards to his marriage.  Typically in the past we simply never shared what was deep down inside one another mainly because we did not want either one of us the perceive it as a weakness.  Now that it is all out on the table I do not have to scared and constantly try and hide my diapers from him anymore.  

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The talk my wife and I had has really helped us both as a couple and with her participation to my lifestyle.  She has changed my diaper now four times since we talked and each time has been a very wonderful diaper change.  Sometimes it is just rip the diaper off as fast as possible and stuff me in a new one.  These changes have been laying down the pink diaper pad, pulling down my diaper and wiping down my wee wee, then removing my used diaper and wiping me down more throughly.  She is really focusing on my wee wee blush blush.  Then the awesome sprinkle of baby powder.  I am a happy lil girl right now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am fairly confident I wet my diaper while napping yesterday but I cannot prove it definitively.  I woke up while having an infamous pee pee dream and reached down inside my diaper and noticed that it felt like I had just wet it.  My diaper was wet before I laid down so it is impossible to know for sure but the wetness I felt seemed very recent as none if it had time to absorb yet.  I did still have a full bladder when I awoke so it was not a full uncontrolled wetting.

Really not much else to report.  My wife and I are doing great after our last talk and she has been changing my diapers whenever I ask her to.  I have tried not to wear out that welcome so I do not bother her all the time with changing me.

My wife and I went to a bar last night for a birthday party for my best friend's wife.  She messaged me and told me what bar it would be held at and I told her I did not care as long as they had a place I could change my diaper.  She laughed and said yes they have a bathroom and I told her not all bathrooms are created equal.

I wish there was more to talk about.  I still do have a significant amount of bladder control after a year and a half of wearing diapers.  For those that want to unpotty train yourself it is a long and windy road to the the mythical lands of incontinence.

 

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  • 2 months later...

It is time for another update.  I have been in diapers permanently now for close to one year and nine months.  I do not consider myself completely diaper dependant at this point but I think it would almost be impossible to take my diaper off now.  My bladder remains mostly unchanged.  I have periods where I am constantly releasing my bladder and other times I seem to unconsciously hold in my pee pee.  I have been experiencing involuntary leakage mostly from stress induced incontinence and post void dribble has been prevalent throughout my unpotty training journey.  I have not started bedwetting yet and I am beginning to lose hope that I will ever wet uncontrollably in my sleep.

The biggest change has been in my bowels.  They seem to be growing weaker and weaker by the day.  My diaper is often left with heavy soil streaks that I have no control over.  Just a few weeks ago while driving home I had a real life messy accident as I just could not hold my bowels anymore.  It was the first time I had to call my wife and explain to her to keep the kids occupied so when I get home I can go straight to the bathroom.  She asked why and I had to embarrassingly tell her I had messed myself.  The first thing she said when I came in the house is that "you stink".  Considering I had just filled my diaper with my mess and sat in it for a good 15 minutes I imagine I did.  I have informed her I suspect my bowels will continue to weaken and I believe within a few years I will be completely incontinent.  She did not say anything about this good or bad so I am not sure what her thoughts are.

I have switched main diapers now from ABU Simples to ABU Simple Ultras.  They fit a lot snuggier and hold a lot more pee pee.  Still, if you look at the pictures below you will see eleven hours in the same diaper can and often does result in a small leak.  I absolutely love these diapers as they swell and swell and swell.  As far as I know no one at work has noticed.

My wife and I are doing better.  She has been changing my diaper on occasions and has even had some sexual playtime with me.  She remains committed to me and my desire to be diaper dependant.  

Really not much else to report.  

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5 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

 I have periods where I am constantly releasing my bladder and other times I seem to unconsciously hold in my pee pee.

A mere 4 months in and that seems to be where I am stuck.  I'd reached this phase before I had to take a break for a few weeks and recovered to this phase fairly quickly when I went back into nappies coming up for 6 weeks ago but it does seem to be where my body "sits".  It would be a little disheartening if I am likely to remain in this phase for another 14 months.

I'm wondering however if there are other changes that we simply don't notice that much due to their gradual onset.  I know the occasional drips on changing are real because they appear on the floor beneath me although I suspect I could stop them if I thought about it.  I know I don't unconsciously wet the bed because I can recall waking up to pee - sometimes...  Yes, I choose to pee - every 15 minutes.   The sensation of peeing I suspect is somehow muted, less than it was.  Have you tried going OUT of diapers to see what happens?

6 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

 I have not started bedwetting yet and I am beginning to lose hope that I will ever wet uncontrollably in my sleep.

Well, I'd tell you that I don't wet the bed because I can remember waking up to pee 2 - 3 times per night but in fact, I don't always remember.  I woke up yesterday and my Molicare was soaked and I'm not sure when that happened.  I probably woke up but not enough to clearly recall it the next morning.  I can't see how genuine nocturnal enuresis would feel much different to that to be honest.

6 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

The biggest change has been in my bowels.  They seem to be growing weaker and weaker by the day.  My diaper is often left with heavy soil streaks that I have no control over.  Just a few weeks ago while driving home I had a real life messy accident as I just could not hold my bowels anymore. 

That would be a game-changer for me.  If that happens, I'll probably need to stop because of work and family commitments.  There are no obvious signs but I know if I need to #2, it interferes with my ability to #1 and on the rare occasion where it's been logistically possible, I've just let myself #2 in my nappy so I could #1 in comfort and dealt with it later but it's not routine.

6 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

II have been experiencing involuntary leakage mostly from stress induced incontinence and post void dribble has been prevalent throughout my unpotty training journey.

Totally understand the post void drip and dribble and that's already a part of my world but stress induced continence?  I've noticed that any kind of stress kicks me out of the "pee freely" zone and I start unconsciously storing pee again.

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35 minutes ago, oznl said:

That would be a game-changer for me.  If that happens, I'll probably need to stop because of work and family commitments.  There are no obvious signs but I know if I need to #2, it interferes with my ability to #1 and on the rare occasion where it's been logistically possible, I've just let myself #2 in my nappy so I could #1 in comfort and dealt with it later but it's not routine.

Losing bowel control is extremely common amongst those who only ever intended to untrain their bladder. That's what happened to me, and it's what has happened to most people I've spoken to who only wanted to lose bladder control.

You should be prepared for this to happen once your muscles start to deteriorate further. 

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I knew my bowel control would diminish going down this road.  When I began this journey I had planned to become fully incontinent and my wife asked me to not loose control of my bowels.  I respected that request but it seems now that is what is happening.  She understands at this point it is almost impossible to undo what has been done and we will both have to figure out how to deal with this new revelation in the near future.

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Unfortunately I to appear to be on a similar path a medical issue has caused me to loose  bladder control but now after 4 years of being diapered 24/7 I am noticing more and more unexpected bowel moments as time passes  I to suspect I will be dual incontinent sooner then later I hope not but if it happens I have already accepted the fact its something I can not stop from happening.

 

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13 hours ago, oznl said:

Well, I'd tell you that I don't wet the bed because I can remember waking up to pee 2 - 3 times per night but in fact, I don't always remember.  I woke up yesterday and my Molicare was soaked and I'm not sure when that happened.  I probably woke up but not enough to clearly recall it the next morning.  I can't see how genuine nocturnal enuresis would feel much different to that to be honest.

Just short of four years I still occasionally wake with faint memory of peeing perhaps once during night with my diaper much heavier than one time.  However, in general (like this morning) I don’t know I've wet till I check my diaper.  As time progresses faint memory mornings are fewer and farther between with what I consider true bed-wetting the norm. Trust it will be the same for you.

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20 hours ago, oznl said:

Totally understand the post void drip and dribble and that's already a part of my world but stress induced continence?  I've noticed that any kind of stress kicks me out of the "pee freely" zone and I start unconsciously storing pee again.

Lol.  Stess incontinence is when you involuntary leak pee pee because you laugh, cough, or sneeze.  

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15 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

Lol.  Stess incontinence is when you involuntary leak pee pee because you laugh, cough, or sneeze.  

Oh, sorry.  Got completely thrown by the stress *induced* bit...  oops.

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23 hours ago, WBxx said:

Just short of four years I still occasionally wake with faint memory of peeing perhaps once during night with my diaper much heavier than one time.  However, in general (like this morning) I don’t know I've wet till I check my diaper.  As time progresses faint memory mornings are fewer and farther between with what I consider true bed-wetting the norm. Trust it will be the same for you.

I always wake soaking wet and usually have no recollection whatsoever of peeing during the night.

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On 5/14/2019 at 7:46 PM, MarkSmith said:

It is time for another update.  I have been in diapers permanently now for close to one year and nine months.  I do not consider myself completely diaper dependant at this point but I think it would almost be impossible to take my diaper off now.  My bladder remains mostly unchanged.  I have periods where I am constantly releasing my bladder and other times I seem to unconsciously hold in my pee pee.  I have been experiencing involuntary leakage mostly from stress induced incontinence and post void dribble has been prevalent throughout my unpotty training journey.  I have not started bedwetting yet and I am beginning to lose hope that I will ever wet uncontrollably in my sleep.

The biggest change has been in my bowels.  They seem to be growing weaker and weaker by the day.  My diaper is often left with heavy soil streaks that I have no control over.  Just a few weeks ago while driving home I had a real life messy accident as I just could not hold my bowels anymore.  It was the first time I had to call my wife and explain to her to keep the kids occupied so when I get home I can go straight to the bathroom.  She asked why and I had to embarrassingly tell her I had messed myself.  The first thing she said when I came in the house is that "you stink".  Considering I had just filled my diaper with my mess and sat in it for a good 15 minutes I imagine I did.  I have informed her I suspect my bowels will continue to weaken and I believe within a few years I will be completely incontinent.  She did not say anything about this good or bad so I am not sure what her thoughts are.

I have switched main diapers now from ABU Simples to ABU Simple Ultras.  They fit a lot snuggier and hold a lot more pee pee.  Still, if you look at the pictures below you will see eleven hours in the same diaper can and often does result in a small leak.  I absolutely love these diapers as they swell and swell and swell.  As far as I know no one at work has noticed.

My wife and I are doing better.  She has been changing my diaper on occasions and has even had some sexual playtime with me.  She remains committed to me and my desire to be diaper dependant.  

Really not much else to report.  

 

 

Mark, I agree with streak marks on the diapers over the last month or so I have that with most changes and am often quite unaware that some poo has leaked out. Sometime I notice it as stress bowel IC especially if I sneeze. But dual IC is what I always wanted to aim for so I can't complain

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
So it has been 14 weeks now in diapers permanently.  I had a thread that was documenting my progress but it was unfortunately lost when the site had issues.  I held off making a new post to insure that fulltime diapering would become a reality and at this point it seems to have become reality.  I used the post void dribbling post to update a lot of my progress.
I have managed to fight all the normal urges that make you take your diapers off.  Orgasms, diaper rash, and long work hours in the same diaper were no match for my desires to wear diapers.  I have been close to telling co-workers that I am incontinent and need diapers.
As far as the progress of unpotty training it had been interesting.  At this point I have post void dribbling, dribbling when sneezing, coughing, or exerting myself, bladder spasms, and urge incontinence.  I have no progress at night time or while seated.  I still have to stand a lot of time to pee pee at night as well as when I am sitting.
After 14 weeks of used diapers none of my co-workers or children know.  Diapers can be hidden with the proper diligence.  My wife has remained accepting and understanding and continues to routinely change my diapers.  At this point she believes I will HAVE to be diapered the rest of my life.
A lot of members on here have been instrumental providing advice in my journey and I thank all of you for your support.  For anyone who is interested in unpotty training themselves I am more than willing to give you all the advice and tips I can.

Me im interested


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It is time for another update.  I have been in diapers permanently now for close to one year and nine months.  I do not consider myself completely diaper dependant at this point but I think it would almost be impossible to take my diaper off now.  My bladder remains mostly unchanged.  I have periods where I am constantly releasing my bladder and other times I seem to unconsciously hold in my pee pee.  I have been experiencing involuntary leakage mostly from stress induced incontinence and post void dribble has been prevalent throughout my unpotty training journey.  I have not started bedwetting yet and I am beginning to lose hope that I will ever wet uncontrollably in my sleep.
The biggest change has been in my bowels.  They seem to be growing weaker and weaker by the day.  My diaper is often left with heavy soil streaks that I have no control over.  Just a few weeks ago while driving home I had a real life messy accident as I just could not hold my bowels anymore.  It was the first time I had to call my wife and explain to her to keep the kids occupied so when I get home I can go straight to the bathroom.  She asked why and I had to embarrassingly tell her I had messed myself.  The first thing she said when I came in the house is that "you stink".  Considering I had just filled my diaper with my mess and sat in it for a good 15 minutes I imagine I did.  I have informed her I suspect my bowels will continue to weaken and I believe within a few years I will be completely incontinent.  She did not say anything about this good or bad so I am not sure what her thoughts are.
I have switched main diapers now from ABU Simples to ABU Simple Ultras.  They fit a lot snuggier and hold a lot more pee pee.  Still, if you look at the pictures below you will see eleven hours in the same diaper can and often does result in a small leak.  I absolutely love these diapers as they swell and swell and swell.  As far as I know no one at work has noticed.
My wife and I are doing better.  She has been changing my diaper on occasions and has even had some sexual playtime with me.  She remains committed to me and my desire to be diaper dependant.  
Really not much else to report.  
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Are those your wet diapers


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