913 Day Unpotty Training Update

[sweetlilone]

Mark.. Thanks so much for opening up and giving us the wonderful updates. Have you used any form of hypnotic tapes to help with your bed or daytime wetting?  I thought I saw early on that you were using a chastity cage. Maybe I'm mistaken as I've been reading through quite a few threads. If you have you'd one in the past are you still using it? It's wonderful that you and your wife have such a good relationship. It sounds very similar to me and my Mommy as well. There are boundries we need to be careful with as any relationship is  a 2 way adventure. Both partners needs have to be met. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and making sure she is happy and all her needs are met. I've told my Mommy that I would be ok with her cuckolding me but she just is not the type of person to do that. We roleplay cuckolding alot and talk about her boyfriend, but that is a far as it goes. She too is my soulmate without a doubt. She amazes me with her unconditional love. 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

After one year and almost ten months wearing diapers permanently I am beginning to think that it may be impossible to loose full control of my bladder like I desired.  In the last three months I would say that my bladder control has even improved as I was concentrating less and less on wetting continuously.  I have only had one possible betwetting episode in all this time. 

I am honestly contemplating on taking my diapers off and see what happens.  I know I will have to be on the potty a lot more than before and messing my panties after two years in diapers is a possibility as I have grown to not worry at all about anal leakage.  It is not an easy decision after so many months in diapers.  I believe taking my diapers off would make my wife happy although she is adamant that she loves me and fully accepts that I wear diapers.

Not the update I am sure everyone wanted to hear but this entire post has been about being completely honest about all my feeling about unpotty training good and bad.

[Stroller]

21 minutes ago, MarkSmith said:

Not the update I am sure everyone wanted to hear but this entire post has been about being completely honest about all my feeling about unpotty training good and bad

You do what feels best for you and your wife, Mark.  You don't have responsibilities for the rest of us, so don't feel you're letting us down.  Good luck with it, whatever you decide.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

4 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

After one year and almost ten months wearing diapers permanently I am beginning to think that it may be impossible to loose full control of my bladder like I desired.  In the last three months I would say that my bladder control has even improved as I was concentrating less and less on wetting continuously.  I have only had one possible betwetting episode in all this time. 

I am honestly contemplating on taking my diapers off and see what happens.  I know I will have to be on the potty a lot more than before and messing my panties after two years in diapers is a possibility as I have grown to not worry at all about anal leakage.  It is not an easy decision after so many months in diapers.  I believe taking my diapers off would make my wife happy although she is adamant that she loves me and fully accepts that I wear diapers.

Not the update I am sure everyone wanted to hear but this entire post has been about being completely honest about all my feeling about unpotty training good and bad.

HI Mark

Thank you for the update.

I am just wondering when your in setback mode do you feel or have emotions of set backs?  If so are they strong emotions?

[dlinmsp]

To each his own for everyone.  I have never thought of 24/7 diapers as a race to incontinence.  

I am at the 6.5 year mark of 24/7 diapers.  My wearing diapers and plastic pants began in 1965.  My regular bedwetting did not begin until 2008 and my 24/7 didn't start until early 2013.  There were many times during early 24/7 that I wondered if I was doing the right thing.  But my daytime control was waning as my UI was growing.  I was also diagnosed with OAB so my strike count was not in my favor.  I also wondered if I had reached the 'point of no return'.  I recently had to collect all my urine during a 24 hour period.  I peed 32 times during the collection period.  We have a bathroom at home that is 16 steps away from my office  and there were times I barely made it to collect before I would begin to pee.

I don't recall ever knowing that I've peed without feeling it, but I know I have peed without remembering.  I often get the signal to pee just before it happens.  As others have said, we all have to do what is right for each of us.  Self doubt is natural.

I know that I belong in diapers and plastic pants, I feel I've always known.  I don't know if I have true incontinence but I know I'm diaper dependent.

[oznl]

11 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

In the last three months I would say that my bladder control has even improved as I was concentrating less and less on wetting continuously.  I have only had one possible betwetting episode in all this time.

I believe I've noticed a similar thing with daytime wetting.  Over the last month, it seems that I might have drifted away from the degree of concentration required to keep things permanently relaxed down there and I'm constantly finding myself holding.  A funny thing though: I haven't noticed ANY urges to pee at all.  I realise I'm holding when it occurs to me that there hasn't been a dribble for a while.  I relax, and there might be several seconds of pee.  I still have periods of time (usually whilst sitting quietly at work) where I do get back into the drip/dribble zone.

11 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

 I have only had one possible betwetting episode in all this time.

I have nights were I simply don't remember.  This is highly inconsistent but it IS getting more frequent.  Last night I was 100% aware.  The night before (when I'd had a couple of glasses of wine before bed), it might have been aliens that peed in my nappy for me overnight.  I went to bed damp.  Woke up substantially wet.  At this point, I wouldn't try a nappy-free night in an unprotected bed or even my own protected bed with my partner in it.

 

11 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

I am honestly contemplating on taking my diapers off and see what happens.  I know I will have to be on the potty a lot more than before and messing my panties after two years in diapers is a possibility as I have grown to not worry at all about anal leakage.  It is not an easy decision after so many months in diapers.  I believe taking my diapers off would make my wife happy although she is adamant that she loves me and fully accepts that I wear diapers. 

Not the update I am sure everyone wanted to hear but this entire post has been about being completely honest about all my feeling about unpotty training good and bad.

Personally, I'm interested in everything about *real* stories so this IS an update I'd want to hear.  So much conflation with fantasy happens in these kind of places.  This warts-and-all kind of insight is invaluable.  I do wonder though if the problem here is that you've lost perception about how continent you actually are.  You might be in for a surprise if you take those diapers off.  At the back of my own mind is a similar thought.  @Stroller mentioned it once to me.  Incontinence in the context of deliberate diaper use is going to be hard to spot.  It might have crept up on us to an extent we haven't truly realised.

I know my wife would be delighted if I told her I was giving up nappies and that's a rust that corrodes away a part of me.

[DaveeBEd]

20 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

After one year and almost ten months wearing diapers permanently I am beginning to think that it may be impossible to loose full control of my bladder like I desired.  In the last three months I would say that my bladder control has even improved as I was concentrating less and less on wetting continuously.  I have only had one possible betwetting episode in all this time. 

I am honestly contemplating on taking my diapers off and see what happens.  I know I will have to be on the potty a lot more than before and messing my panties after two years in diapers is a possibility as I have grown to not worry at all about anal leakage.  It is not an easy decision after so many months in diapers.  I believe taking my diapers off would make my wife happy although she is adamant that she loves me and fully accepts that I wear diapers.

Not the update I am sure everyone wanted to hear but this entire post has been about being completely honest about all my feeling about unpotty training good and bad.

Mark thanks for your continued honesty, it may however be that you have plateaued and are actually about to go over the edge without realising it,

[Stroller]

18 hours ago, dlinmsp said:

I have never thought of 24/7 diapers as a race to incontinence.

Well, that rang a bell with me. ..

 

18 hours ago, dlinmsp said:

I don't know if I have true incontinence but I know I'm diaper dependent.

...and that too.  How do I feel about the question of whether I become incontinent or not as a result of wearing nappies all the time?  Well it would be interesting to find out, but it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other.  Other than the practicalities of things like "do I need to wear a nappy on my next visit to the doctor's?" of course. I don't have any deep desire to be incontinent, but I'd be perfectly happy if I was.  The important thing for me, I suppose, is that I don't need to exercise any control, because I'm in a nappy.  It's that feeling of having given up any responsibility for the function of wetting, and behaving like a baby in that respect.  That's what matters to me.  And of course I'm in a nappy so I don't have to exercise any control, so I don't, and haven't for many months.  I suspect I've still got full control, but I could be wrong.  I've no intention of finding out, so why would it matter to me?

I can quite understand why others would feel being incontinent is a key driver for them.  It's not for me though - I just don't want to have to exercise any control.

I hope that makes some kind of sense!

[DiaperboyEddie12]

3 hours ago, Stroller said:

Well, that rang a bell with me. ..

 

...and that too.  How do I feel about the question of whether I become incontinent or not as a result of wearing nappies all the time?  Well it would be interesting to find out, but it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other.  Other than the practicalities of things like "do I need to wear a nappy on my next visit to the doctor's?" of course. I don't have any deep desire to be incontinent, but I'd be perfectly happy if I was.  The important thing for me, I suppose, is that I don't need to exercise any control, because I'm in a nappy.  It's that feeling of having given up any responsibility for the function of wetting, and behaving like a baby in that respect.  That's what matters to me.  And of course I'm in a nappy so I don't have to exercise any control, so I don't, and haven't for many months.  I suspect I've still got full control, but I could be wrong.  I've no intention of finding out, so why would it matter to me?

I can quite understand why others would feel being incontinent is a key driver for them.  It's not for me though - I just don't want to have to exercise any control.

 

@Stroller I agree the reason I'm working on going full time is the wearing of the diapers. The satisfaction if choosing to wear diapers is what will please me.   

I already mess myself why not be happy and wear a diaper for protection.i know once I start wearing diapers full time.  I might lose #2 first as I'm close to halfway there now.  I got what is called a iron bladder

Most of the time I can hold for Manny hours. But when in a diaper it's different.

[scif788]

[mention=56904]Stroller[/mention] I agree the reason I'm working on going full time is the wearing of the diapers. The satisfaction if choosing to wear diapers is what will please me.   
I already mess myself why not be happy and wear a diaper for protection.i know once I start wearing diapers full time.  I might lose #2 first as I'm close to halfway there now.  I got what is called a iron bladder
Most of the time I can hold for Manny hours. But when in a diaper it's different.

What caused your bowel incontinence?


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[DiaperboyEddie12]

44 minutes ago, scif788 said:

What caused your bowel incontinence?


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I'm not exactly sure.  But I do know this. It's what I eat that does it.  If I watch what I eat I have less bad days.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

On 7/11/2019 at 11:25 AM, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

HI Mark

Thank you for the update.

I am just wondering when your in setback mode do you feel or have emotions of set backs?  If so are they strong emotions?

It is hard to describe.  I sometimes feel frustrated.  Mentally you convince your mind you need diapers permanently and you wish your body could simply commit to the same desires physically.  I am not so sure why diaper dependancy is so important to me or any of us that desires incontinence.  I could wear diapers permanently and still never be diaper dependant.  For some reason that is not enough.

I have yet to take my diapers off and honestly I do not have any idea how long I could stay out them for.  I know that I do not want to confuse my wife again.  Diapers one minute, trying to be a man the next.  It was much more complicated then before diapers all the time.  September 30th will be two years in diapers permanently and I think I will atleast try and keep my diapers on until then.  Even if I choose not to wear them permanently you can rest assured I will be wearing them often.

[incondl]

8 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

It is hard to describe.  I sometimes feel frustrated.  Mentally you convince your mind you need diapers permanently and you wish your body could simply commit to the same desires physically.  I am not so sure why diaper dependancy is so important to me or any of us that desires incontinence.  I could wear diapers permanently and still never be diaper dependant.  For some reason that is not enough.

I have yet to take my diapers off and honestly I do not have any idea how long I could stay out them for.  I know that I do not want to confuse my wife again.  Diapers one minute, trying to be a man the next.  It was much more complicated then before diapers all the time.  September 30th will be two years in diapers permanently and I think I will atleast try and keep my diapers on until then.  Even if I choose not to wear them permanently you can rest assured I will be wearing them often.

Sounds like classic binge & purge Mark although the cycles are much longer for you. You seem, by your postings, that you very much enjoy wearing diapers but are conflicted when wearing them based on what your wife would want. At some point you need to do what’s best for you and you alone. I’m no Dr but you may want to consider putting yourself first and if wearing is who you are then follow that path. Others will need to understand or they will need to make a decision on what’s best for them. You’ve given your wife the best of both worlds. She has a man she can have sex with while you wait in the background. Is that healthy for the relationship? IS that a healthy relationship? You must decide. Being subservient is one thing but does a line get crossed and it becomes being taken advantage of? You must decide. Wearing diapers and using them seems to give you a wholeness. Again based on your posts. Why then purge? It may be who you are. (That I relate to) Do what is right for you and I’m not judging. I’m in no position to judge. Best of luck to you in the path you follow.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

2 hours ago, incondl said:

Sounds like classic binge & purge Mark although the cycles are much longer for you. You seem, by your postings, that you very much enjoy wearing diapers but are conflicted when wearing them based on what your wife would want. At some point you need to do what’s best for you and you alone. I’m no Dr but you may want to consider putting yourself first and if wearing is who you are then follow that path. Others will need to understand or they will need to make a decision on what’s best for them. You’ve given your wife the best of both worlds. She has a man she can have sex with while you wait in the background. Is that healthy for the relationship? IS that a healthy relationship? You must decide. Being subservient is one thing but does a line get crossed and it becomes being taken advantage of? You must decide. Wearing diapers and using them seems to give you a wholeness. Again based on your posts. Why then purge? It may be who you are. (That I relate to) Do what is right for you and I’m not judging. I’m in no position to judge. Best of luck to you in the path you follow.

You are absolutely right that I enjoy wearing diapers.  I do not know if I could even be happy outside of diapers.  I have most definitely put myself first.  One could even say I was selfish.  My wife had no choice when I decided to wear diapers permanently.  She was adamant about me NOT wearing around our children, family, and friends but her concerns fell on deaf ears.  Over time she learned to understand that if the proper steps are taken diapers can be worn all the time discreetly and wearing them permanently is not such a big deal.

You must never feel sorry for me because she had a boyfriend in the past.  It was me and me alone that encouraged, supported, and accepted her infidelity.  I would not be a cuckold if I never had the desire to be one.  She was willing to make all the necessary sacrificies in the bedroom to remain sexually depraved and frustrated for the rest of her life.  She believed in better or worse and for her having a husband who desires to be a full time sissy wearing pink diapers with no desire to make love to her the way a man does was worse.  Still she remained at my side.  She deserved a nornal sexual union with a man and I am glad we found a way to make that reality. 

Most think this was forced upon me by my wife but in all actuality is was me who really forced her to do it.  The reason why she is not actively sexually involved with her boyfriend now is because she love me to much.  In my book she is about the best wife and sissy baby could ask for even if she does not entertain my little side.

I know what a purge cycle is and this really is not that.  If is simply my real life feelings about how frustrating it can be for me personally to unpotty train myself.  This is not an easy thing to try and accomplish and I feel it is important to share that with those that have similar desires.

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

So I decided to see if a couple hours outside of diapers yesterday would lead to wet pants or a constant marathon sprint to the potty.  Nothing.  I honestly felt nothing different with my bladder control than when I first began my unpotty training.  To be fair though, it was a very hot summer day yesterday and I produce a lot less pee pee when I am out in the heat.  

Mentally I definitely felt naked without my diaper on it.  I imagine it would be impossible for me to go an entire day without wearing one as I would feel as if I am completely naked.

Not really sure where to go from here.  I know when this journey began I was much more optimistic about losing my baldder control and now I am very pessimistic that I can actually become unpotty trained.  Do not misunderstand me.  I still will probably NEED to wear diapers permanently for the rest of my life but I am not sure if I can become physically dependant or not.

I am not sure how to explain this to my wife.  She believes I need them both mentally and physically so at this point I have no choice but to wear diapers.  I even made my mind believe this as well.  It simply is not the case as verified yesterday.

[incondl]

You need to convince yourself that all that is done is done in the diaper. No exceptions.. ever. And that goes for BM’s as well. At first you think about letting go. Over time it just lets go. 

[Rob110]

 Mark your right in the fact that during the summer months you will pee less and can go for a short time with out a diaper the real test is if you still pee when you hear running water or pass a cold fridge door.  Try being diaper free in the mornings or evenings when you wash up and brush your teeth and leave the water running you may find you pee even out of a diaper.  another test would be to be diaper free for 24 to 48 hours if you can make it that long with out an accident (in a cooler environment and keeping hydrated) you may be able to walk away from being diapered if you decide to.

 

 

 

[Inconito]

On 7/19/2019 at 11:53 AM, MarkSmith said:

Mentally I definitely felt naked without my diaper on it.  I imagine it would be impossible for me to go an entire day without wearing one as I would feel as if I am completely naked.

Not really sure where to go from here.  I know when this journey began I was much more optimistic about losing my baldder control and now I am very pessimistic that I can actually become unpotty trained.  Do not misunderstand me.  I still will probably NEED to wear diapers permanently for the rest of my life but I am not sure if I can become physically dependant or not.

@Mark

I feel the exact Same thing. When I first started out wanting to become incontinent. I trusted I would be there in a couple of years, reading the 12month guide, doing most of the things / following the instructions. Reading about other people's stories, how they by doing various things became incontinent and diaper dependent. I wanted to be one of them. Now, five years after I'm way more realistic about the reality of this.

Am I dependent, am I incontinent? I don't know. A big part of me thinks, no. Not even close. But being diapered 24/7 has become the new norm for me, and I'll never be out of diapers for the rest of my life, no matter what, even if I don't need them, physically. Mentally I do need them.

I have noticed changes still, I no longer flood, my capacity is down, but I believe if I wanted to, I would have full control and capacity would go up again. But I don't want that to happen.

Mark, hang in there!

 

[Bettypooh]

As I've mentioned elsewhere circumstances beyond my control swept me back to needing bladder control again and I'm there now- as much as my slight physical leakage will allow me to be that is. I'm not happy about that but I've got to survive and it's the only way. What makes it tolerable is that it's not permanent. Like Mark I was well along the way and didn't think it was possible to go back since I was usually not conscious of urine being released. I think the difference with me compared to most is that I didn't follow any plan (like the 12 month one) but simply began removing my conscious attention from anything related to peeing, so that when it became necessary I was able to go back- not that I wanted to. I'm now much like I was when I began needing something more than pads to be safe from wet clothes but only due to uncontrollable leakage due to my weak external sphincter. I can feel when my bladder is getting full again though I can't tell when it's become too full to stop, and I'm using the toilet as I feel that way. Being that all I have is cheap store-brand pull-ups to wear I don't have room for error. Since my bladder muscles hadn't atrophied but only weakened in about two weeks I regained about 80% of my limited control and about two more weeks got back almost all of that.

Those who use the 12 month program or any other method which weakens the pelvic floor muscles may not have a similar experience. The same for those who bedwet, as that part is beyond conscious control. Emotionally it's been very trying and keeps my depression at the door instead of in the distance. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing that eventually I'll once again have a place of my own where I can be free to wear without worry about any consequences of discovery having any effect beyond that directly.I've always believed that you can do what you have to do if you put enough effort into it (physical limitations notwithstanding) and I am nearly giddy when I think of how great the journey back into full-time wear and use is going to be. Throughout my journey there were many times where needing diapers was a PITA but I accepted that and found it could be dealt with as long as I could afford them. But I never lost my deep desire to be wearing them- not once, and I never will. I'm not happy right now but I'm still in diapers albeit crappy ones, so for now that will do because it must.

Bettypooh

[scif788]

As I've mentioned elsewhere circumstances beyond my control swept me back to needing bladder control again and I'm there now- as much as my slight physical leakage will allow me to be that is. I'm not happy about that but I've got to survive and it's the only way. What makes it tolerable is that it's not permanent. Like Mark I was well along the way and didn't think it was possible to go back since I was usually not conscious of urine being released. I think the difference with me compared to most is that I didn't follow any plan (like the 12 month one) but simply began removing my conscious attention from anything related to peeing, so that when it became necessary I was able to go back- not that I wanted to. I'm now much like I was when I began needing something more than pads to be safe from wet clothes but only due to uncontrollable leakage due to my weak external sphincter. I can feel when my bladder is getting full again though I can't tell when it's become too full to stop, and I'm using the toilet as I feel that way. Being that all I have is cheap store-brand pull-ups to wear I don't have room for error. Since my bladder muscles hadn't atrophied but only weakened in about two weeks I regained about 80% of my limited control and about two more weeks got back almost all of that.
Those who use the 12 month program or any other method which weakens the pelvic floor muscles may not have a similar experience. The same for those who bedwet, as that part is beyond conscious control. Emotionally it's been very trying and keeps my depression at the door instead of in the distance. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing that eventually I'll once again have a place of my own where I can be free to wear without worry about any consequences of discovery having any effect beyond that directly.I've always believed that you can do what you have to do if you put enough effort into it (physical limitations notwithstanding) and I am nearly giddy when I think of how great the journey back into full-time wear and use is going to be. Throughout my journey there were many times where needing diapers was a PITA but I accepted that and found it could be dealt with as long as I could afford them. But I never lost my deep desire to be wearing them- not once, and I never will. I'm not happy right now but I'm still in diapers albeit crappy ones, so for now that will do because it must.
Bettypooh

What caused you to want your bladder control back


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What caused you to want your bladder control back


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Thats a good thing though hopefully i can regain my bladder control


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[DiaperedAllTheTime]

Well, as you may have guessed I have not been able to take my diapers off.  My wife changed my diaper in the backseat of our car for the first time ever and it was so amazing.  I have been traveling so much and I am currently in France fighting an unforgiving diaper rash.  I will be coming up on two years in diapers permanently on September 30th.  You never know, I may decide to try and take my diapers off then.  We shall see.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

So today I found out what happens when you have your incontinence wear laundered in France ☺  My panties were put on display right on top for the world to see.

[Diapered Dave]

Aren't you glad you didn't put your pink nursery print plastic pants in the wash....  ?

[scif788]

So today I found out what happens when you have your incontinence wear laundered in France [emoji5]  My panties were put on display right on top for the world to see.

Are they washable incontinence underwear


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[DiaperedAllTheTime]

6 hours ago, scif788 said:

Are they washable incontinence underwear


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No, Gary Activewear briefs...essentially my plastic panties.

9 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Aren't you glad you didn't put your pink nursery print plastic pants in the wash....  ?

I actually did not bring any of my sissy attire on this trip.  I am not really sure why as usually always do.  Even when I do not bring my Disney Princess diaper covers I almost always have my pink Gary Activewear panties.  Most of them were dirty and in the laundry before I left so white it was.

Most places have gone to great links to hide my panties.  There is no doubt they are for incontinence.  In Sweden they wrap them in brown paper.  For someone who needs a constant dose of humiliation maybe I need to get laundry done here more.